Reimagining masculinity; my journey as a male sexual assault survivor | Landon Wilcock

Reimagining masculinity; my journey as a male sexual assault survivor | Landon Wilcock | TEDxQueensU

Рет қаралды 930,775

6 жыл бұрын

As a survivor of sexual assault, Landon came to view his life as one broken into many pieces. He offers a unique perspective on how we can move forward as a society in dealing with not just male survivors but all victims of sexual assault.
Landon shares his story and explains the factors that prevented him from seeking help from anyone for months after the assault. Landon has had to learn how to view himself as a man, while rebuilding his own identity and masculinity. He details how breaking down his own identity from the ground up and finding his own version of manhood after a life changing experience has shaped who he is today.
Landon has been actively involved in sexual assault prevention advocacy. Recently he has been working with the Sexual Assault Center Kingston and two thesis film students on a new project to bring greater awareness to services for victims and survivors. In addition, he acts as a Peer Facilitator for the Queen’s Bystander Intervention Program, which works to educate students and university employees on preventing and intervening in situations of sexual assault and violence. Landon Wilcock is a fourth year student in Political Studies at Queen’s University. This past summer, he began his ongoing work at the Centre for International and Defence Policy (CIDP), and has previously worked in the Wealth Management and Energy industries.
Landon has been actively involved in numerous student associations at Queen’s University. He currently acts as the Chief Financial Officer for the not-for- profit organization Queen’s International Affairs Association, as well as serving as a Peer Facilitator for the Bystander
Intervention Program, which works to educate students and university employees on preventing and intervening in situations of sexual assault and violence.
In his free time, Landon enjoys writing, having contributed articles to both the Queen’s Observer and the Queen’s Journal. In his most recent article in the Journal, Landon detailed his own experience of sexual assault and post-trauma growth as a male survivor. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Пікірлер: 1 800

@lays9402 3 жыл бұрын

Assault is assault, it has no gender.

@naomi4217 3 жыл бұрын

Agreed

@Neuroneos 3 жыл бұрын

The perpetrators are 99.9% male, so...

@evanhussey1311 3 жыл бұрын

@@Neuroneos sorce?

@Dolly351 3 жыл бұрын

Slakfocmsnvfgls true. Men that are assaulted are also assaulted by men

@samsmith939 3 жыл бұрын

@@Neuroneos what about unreported rapes of men?

@singandcoco4332 4 жыл бұрын

As a women, this is one of the most beautiful videos I have ever seen. Men need to be heard aswell. Assault is assault no matter the gender.

@michaeljvm 4 жыл бұрын

Yassss queen

@davidkonevky7372 4 жыл бұрын

I will treasure this comment with all my heart, thank you.

@marisabel5500 4 жыл бұрын

Indeed!

@stephenbeats3110 4 жыл бұрын

you have a gacha pfp

@meltingeinstein3012 4 жыл бұрын

Beautiful??? You're sick, this is horrific!

@zxaxl3875 5 жыл бұрын

You can hear in his voice He’s in pain ):

@fatimaestinzo6139 4 жыл бұрын

His eyes too... :(

@rainystone607 4 жыл бұрын

EdgyEddyWantsSpaghetti i no it’s not pain is soy

@rainystone607 4 жыл бұрын

Kimberlee Ponson all I know is pain

@LadyPinkster 4 жыл бұрын

@@rainystone607 I hope you find peace and happiness within yourself through all that pain...

@rainystone607 4 жыл бұрын

Nina w I did with rock n roll Motörhead

@danm166 4 жыл бұрын

I am a survivor and men suffer too. Thank you for this video

@craycraywolf6726 4 жыл бұрын

I'm proud of you for being so strong. Please, as hard as it is, keep going. Let yourself heal from the pain that no one should have to experience. You're not alone. I pray that God helps you to heal and discover your awesome self.

@ishthefish9006 4 жыл бұрын

We all suffer and die

@phebvlymo2068 4 жыл бұрын

Pole

@IHEARTCOQUETTECLOTHES.777 4 жыл бұрын

God bless you, you are strong and amazing for not giving up👏👏!!

@niyarantuti5469 4 жыл бұрын

Woah man..you strong

@Bakerygo 5 жыл бұрын

Society believes that men have it easy in general, but the fact that they must pretend they 're someone else all the time and hide their feelings must be exhausting.

@MrPausenbrot 5 жыл бұрын

women do the same

@snehsingh933 5 жыл бұрын

mee too

@johnathandwayne1461 5 жыл бұрын

The difference is that men are made fun of when being abused. Women dont.

@brenegadde1278 5 жыл бұрын

@@johnathandwayne1461 true

@roskichan3001 5 жыл бұрын

Oh trust me. That's true

@magnum_cx8805 4 жыл бұрын

My heart broke when he said “people”

@aikomaliako 4 жыл бұрын

Ikr I was like wait WHAT

@alextroy9202 3 жыл бұрын

When?

@malinm1615 3 жыл бұрын

@@alextroy9202 6:47

@FBandSpin 3 жыл бұрын

Same here

@mich3134 3 жыл бұрын

@scouser2010ify 4 жыл бұрын

As a survivor I can honestly say I admire him

@wendyladybug355laurie4 4 жыл бұрын

PrayersnLuv 👼👼💝💝🙏🙏✝️✝️

@Scorpiotide 4 жыл бұрын

*hugs*

@mr-yy8sd 4 жыл бұрын

Me too bro if you want we can share stories I can't believe it happened to me

@scouser2010ify 4 жыл бұрын

Thanks guys much appreciated:)

@mr-yy8sd 4 жыл бұрын

How old were you when it happened

@benjaminjohannessanchez3310 4 жыл бұрын

"Sensitivity is strength, vulnerability is power." I applaud this statement.

@daydreamdirty 3 жыл бұрын

For women- not for men. Much needed Changes just cannot happen this way.

@benjaminjohannessanchez3310 3 жыл бұрын

@@daydreamdirty Please explain... I am afraid I do not do your thoughts justice...

@bricenweber2533 3 жыл бұрын

@@benjaminjohannessanchez3310 I think hes trying to say that in our society people punish men's vulnerability but encourage women's vulnerability.

@dreamlove361 3 жыл бұрын

@@daydreamdirty Not even for women in today's world

@linguaphile9415 3 жыл бұрын

At first I thought this quote was taken from the novel 1984. 🤦🏽

@rubbyfrancois9259 4 жыл бұрын

Damn, I can even hear his voice is shaking. I really wanna hug him right now

@cucucncchcu9348 4 жыл бұрын

Adit A shut up

@idk.8012 3 жыл бұрын

@@SounaakChowdhury19 wtf?? Do you know anything called empathy?

@grifm.5224 3 жыл бұрын

@@cucucncchcu9348 empathy exists you know

@timmoneilson5687 3 жыл бұрын

@@idk.8012 ironic. Have empathy for the guy who said shut up. He is a troll who is lonely or going through struggles. He just wants to connect with people just like everyone else.

@kurtstergar1042 3 жыл бұрын

He doesn't need a HUG! He needs justice and more so Revenge which will probably never come!

@johnathant6735 4 жыл бұрын

Anyone who shares this type of story with the public has the largest marbles I have ever seen.

@yunikhamoudan6043 4 жыл бұрын

He's a great person

@karlrogers7317 4 жыл бұрын

As a survivor, I have such empathy for him! I could never openly talk about my experience so eloquently.

@O_Ciel_Phant0mhive 4 жыл бұрын

True

@O_Ciel_Phant0mhive 4 жыл бұрын

Karl Rogers I’m so sorry. But I wish you the best !

@victoriaslater6008 4 жыл бұрын

@@karlrogers7317 Stay strong and never give up. I really hope that you've found a modicum of peace after the incident.

@Mashkoor110 4 жыл бұрын

I have two boys who had traumatic experiences at universities. As a mother, my heart hurts for you. I hear you, i wish you love, healing and light. 💖

@adqueen2548 3 жыл бұрын

I wish your boys the best. Hugs!

@sherryjackson8474 3 жыл бұрын

spirit Fray So sorry if you need to reach out on IG @christinecool53

@justxii1619 3 жыл бұрын

Hope your boys are fine

@ninarughals1895 2 жыл бұрын

More power to them. May God bless them

@laraoneal7284 Жыл бұрын

Hope you got help for ur sons. This doesn’t just fix itself without psychological and spiritual help.

@mr.b840 4 жыл бұрын

I feel for you brother. When it happened to me in the NAVY I had to carry on like nothing happened until I failed a random drug test.

@notasb4 4 жыл бұрын

Mr. B I'm sorry this happened to you, how are you now in terms of drug use and or seeking help in working thru some of your trauma?

@BeGlamourlicious 4 жыл бұрын

I’m so sorry that this happened to you. This is so heartbreaking. I wish you all the help you can get. Please feel loved 💋

@moonacrefalls4439 4 жыл бұрын

So this still occurs in the army... damn

@ranjanbiswas3233 4 жыл бұрын

@@BeGlamourlicious "Please feel *Supported"

@wendyladybug355laurie4 4 жыл бұрын

PrayersnLuv 👼👼💝💝🙏🙏✝️✝️

@ThAnMaStr 4 жыл бұрын

People don’t realize that men are human too. We aren’t these, muscle bound, unfeeling robots. We have emotions too. We have experiences too. We are human. And sometimes, even men forget that simple fact. We are forced to bottle our emotions. Forced to wear a mask that doesn’t represent us as a person, but this ideal image of a man. If we don’t, we are ridiculed. if we do, we suffer in silence. Men are human.

@JenWIL641 4 жыл бұрын

@Beaux Arts Empire true

@roypryer7358 4 жыл бұрын

Speak for your self smegma.

@BeGlamourlicious 4 жыл бұрын

Th3 An1MaSt3r001 please don’t suffer in silence! I know it’s difficult to find the right people to talk to. It took me 10 years to find the right person to tell my secrets to. After I found her, I found more and more people I could talk to. After a while I even had the strength to start to listen to people and that gave me a sense of connection.

@davidkonevky7372 4 жыл бұрын

All the women I see give compliments to each other like it is a currency, even if sometimes they don't like one or another. While men only compliment people who they trust or love. And we always remember the little compliments women say about things so miniscule as breath or clothing. But because they think we are machines, they never say their feelings toward us/expect us to be their first move.

@ices3456 4 жыл бұрын

Truth has been spoken.

@pugninja7037 6 жыл бұрын

Why are there dislikes on here ?? He's a inspiration ..

@odilevonrothbart2191 5 жыл бұрын

Because this is what happens when you teach boys to be more vulnerable they turn into women not responsible strong men.

@santiv4 5 жыл бұрын

O Von Rothbart oh no!!!! a human being????? doing what everyone does???? horrible!!!

@johnathandwayne1461 5 жыл бұрын

He is not a woman.

@9433282174 5 жыл бұрын

Even i find it weird to see those few dislikes.

@jadattia6723 5 жыл бұрын

maybe they are from people who found this video to be boring and not informing much ..

@jenniferhergert4447 4 жыл бұрын

I have been brainwashed, tortured and abused for all my childhood. I rarely told people about the details, because I thought my story was too bad or too weird, but in this talk I realized, that I don't talk about the details because I don't want to face the horrors within myself. Dear men, I so stand with you. I know life can be so tough, especially after abuse as a male, but you are valid, your emotions and honest desires and needs are beautiful and I will continue to cherish you in my daily life. Much love!

@whalisten 3 жыл бұрын

I love that you're second name is (edit: was) optimism!!! And have you gone to a counselor?

@lakshmiks5708 3 жыл бұрын

Tortured by whom ?

@justderrick7260 3 жыл бұрын

@@lakshmiks5708 most likely family

@CoolMrjames 3 жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry that happened to you. You are stronger and better than any of those who abused you.

@jenniferhergert4447 3 жыл бұрын

@@whalisten yes, I have gone to a counselor. However with the severity of my trauma, I have never found someone that could truly help me. Still, human contact and not being alone in one's suffering is incredibly healing. I changed my name, because I realized that I have the same name in my emails as on KZfaq, was quite embarrassing 😁

@muhammadammarabbasi4804 3 жыл бұрын

Masculinity is never about bulky body or lifting heavy weight, it is about being vocal about wrong! It takes guts to express what you have done! More power to you

@uri.scastle.3185 2 жыл бұрын

So true dear. God bless you and your family. Stay Blessed Amen. Love you forever.

@skkharwas 3 жыл бұрын

In our society, anyone who is crying or asking for help is not a Man. We need to change that.

@adqueen2548 3 жыл бұрын

As a person who was touched the way I didn't like as a kid I can tell telling is the hardest. It has been 12 years since then and I still can't say it out loud and it wasn't as bad as some people sadly went through. Asking for help is the hardest thing and every person who does is a hero for me

@godandsarah1306 3 жыл бұрын

This man is brave. Men are people too. Masculinity is vulnerable too. Women need to stand up for men too.

@an67481 3 жыл бұрын

Agree 100% with you. People need holding and hearing and understanding. Only with that unconditional mutual understanding can we have healthy gender and reproductive instincts and roles played out in life.

@M.C.P. 3 жыл бұрын

Men have to stand up for women too... we have changed the perception of masculinity.

@targanhunter1421 3 жыл бұрын

Assault is assault, it has no gender.

@thiagogregory1 3 жыл бұрын

But women don't. Feminists don't.

@user-go9kw6wf4m 3 жыл бұрын

Yeah sure ...we do .

@somaiahussein7830 6 жыл бұрын

So brave guy to share this publicly, you should be proud of your courage. this video is a serious step for real heal

@omalone1169 4 жыл бұрын

So much for male privilege

@BlunderCity 4 жыл бұрын

You don't even know what happens.

@sarahdavis7646 6 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing your story. Its so important we create a safe space for men to heal and learn to process emotions and traumas without fear of judgement. I am honored you allowed us into your heart by being this vulnerable and open.

@qmawpxvecxydiwixytvieowizhehsi 5 жыл бұрын

Sarah Davis you know.. that’s one of the most beautiful things to see men expressing their feelings.. um just because they’re men doesn’t mean that they’re any less humans lmao or people forgot that we are human beings filled with emotions etc..? It’s ridiculous how close minded people are. Ye should grab a book and study more about what’s real.

@t-man5196 5 жыл бұрын

Damn, if only there were more ladies like you, Sarah.

@cjb1373 5 жыл бұрын

@@qmawpxvecxydiwixytvieowizhehsi why do men have to express their feelings in the same way as women though? Even in the bible, men cried and had emotions. No one is saying that men shouldnt show their emotions. We just dont do it as often because we dont need to, we men deal with our problems head on. Thats our coping mechanism. Men kill themselves because of the confusion and anti masculine atitude that is prevalent in the west since the 50s. You can see a clear correlation between the rise of suicide and the rise of women in the workplace and the rise of feminism. Coincidence? I dont think so, because women are less happy now then theyve ever been too. Maybe seen their wont be a suicide gap, because everyone will be ending it equally.

@t-man5196 5 жыл бұрын

Colonel Percy Harrison Fawcett well if you want men to have the authority to choose whether or not they express their emotions then you need to create a space where it’s safe for men to express their emotions, which is all she’s advocating for.

@selflessly101 5 жыл бұрын

We don't need a "Safe Space" You can't change reality. YOU ARE THE SAFE SPACE. Mental defence or "Toughness" is absolutely necessary. But NEVER lose morals or compassion. No matter the circumstances or conditions men understand this differently than woman based on anatomical psychological and evolutionary analysis. To stand for something bigger than they with a PRACTICAL and UTILITARIAN/TACTICAL approach it's kinda more rooted in men's genes if you will as we've been joining Armies, Navy's, and causes for quite a while now.

@elinebrouwer3259 5 жыл бұрын

One thing from my own upbringing that my mother emphasized is we are human first, the rest (gender, looks, beliefs..) comes second. Labeling things can be very practical when explaining something but, defining people by a label or an allegory of labels removes the humanity. It is the foundation of respect that becomes unstable when all we do is label each other.

@TorchwoodPandP 5 жыл бұрын

Eline Brouwer exactly!

@erino7583 5 жыл бұрын

Very well said!

@DrakeLimOfficial 5 жыл бұрын

And that is why, I don't engage in identity politics. Human rights first. And that will remove bias from any forms of labels. It's ironic a lot of self-proclaimed liberals want to break away from social stereotypes and yet they are very hung up with labels and their identity.

@nb73950 4 жыл бұрын

Wow, you had a very wise mother who had the forethought to share her wisdom with her child. What a wonderful role model!!

@MariaCarabin 4 жыл бұрын

Very well put!

@str8160 2 жыл бұрын

I was sexualy assault age 6. Now age 36 I decided I have to reveal it as it became overwhelming. Yesterday I shared it with my wife and my mother. Next I will go to a therapist. Thank u for u video. U are not alone and u are so brave!

@nostoppingit7827 6 жыл бұрын

His story breaks my heart, his courage and strength gives me hope.

@abeeahmed1233 4 жыл бұрын

and its giving me hope too

@waltcraig8098 3 жыл бұрын

As a man who has spent his 77 years, trying to be a man, I wonder if it is necessary for men to act like men and women to act like women. Aren’t we both human beings with different roles in reproduction?

@Luxeamirah 3 жыл бұрын

You’re right

@fionaxx8645 3 жыл бұрын

our modern perception and expectations of gender are so stifling

@destruction1928 3 жыл бұрын

You probably never was very masculine, which there's nothing wrong with it, many men act tough observing thought men, but they don't being tough themselves, the problem is the assumption that all men are soft and full of emotions, people keep saying to me to express my emotions, it annoying really, I genuinely don't feel most things, and what I fell I express, for example, I like babies, I play with them, I Feel a few emotions, besides that, there's not very much going on here, people try to push that on me, which give me emotions, rage, which isn't very healthy, emotional people think that emotion is a strength when clearly it's not, emotional people are abused all the time, and they do nothing, yet they try to push this idea of strength, if it is strength, they would be abused in the first place...

@emiliap8790 3 жыл бұрын

Well said

@gustavobp9867 3 жыл бұрын

I think we need to have equilibrium in society for both genders...the genders have to keep their essence but of cours, not acting like a mancave for men and also not to be a melted butter , too sensitive for women..

@michael0.770 2 жыл бұрын

As a survivor myself, I can't tell you how many men you helped with your speech.

@j0shle0 5 жыл бұрын

I am trying to imagine the level of fear you must have overcome to be so emotionally honest with the world in relating what you survived, and I can’t. I wish I was a fraction of the man you are.

@omalone1169 4 жыл бұрын

Chino Xl- wordsmith mentions this

@maladjustedmaverick6619 3 жыл бұрын

Landon didn't grow this courage overnight. It took him two years to even consider doing this. Everyone works through their traumas at their own pace. You may eventually feel able to share your story with the world, or you may not, and that's okay. You aren't obligated to share. As long as you've gotten the help you need and found a healthy way to cope and move on with your life, you've done everything you ought to do, and there's nothing you need to be ashamed of.

@Michele-W. 3 жыл бұрын

“Sensitivity is strength and vulnerability is power.“ This is so true. Thank you for your courage!! You are the new generation of men. You are respected and you are loved!

@faraway-2009 3 жыл бұрын

This is my new favourite quote.

@VorteX_SH 2 жыл бұрын

17, Assaulted yesterday by my cousin, I can't, I just can't take this anymore, She is now framing me for assault, Nobody is going to believe me

@traedavies9718 2 жыл бұрын

I dont know of I can help you much but if you need to talk dawg I'm always here

@donovanwilliams5424 Жыл бұрын

@@traedavies9718, I wish I could tell you that people care if a woman hurts you, they will care, but I can't honestly tell you that.

@See-if_I_care Жыл бұрын

They will believe her unfortunately

@AntWhatsUp Жыл бұрын

I believe you

@DJ-yt8eg 4 жыл бұрын

Vulnerability is how we measure courage and empathy is the antidote to shame. I applaud this young man and his courage to heal.

@2degucitas 2 жыл бұрын

I LOVE that first sentence.

@user-vw7qe1cf9x Жыл бұрын

@@2degucitas your first sentence sounds fabulous. However, there is only a small group of people on planet earth who respect a man for having been vulnerable. Extremely small. Men are not lauded for their vulnerability… Never has it been so, down through all of history. Male vulnerability is not what got us to this point in time. It would be nice though, it's simply not true. And most men, who have been recently scarred, or traumatized, will not want, nor will they accept… Empathy. Empathy at a bad time in your life, mans men feel all the more pathetic and weak, looked down upon. This is exactly why this young man felt the way he did and acted the way he did. Women have always been rewarded, supported, coddled when they show vulnerability. Historically, they have gotten immediate, societally demanded support. Through most of history, men, showing great vulnerability, has lost us wars has cost us hunting trips, has let our house burn down, has opened the door to having out wives run wild, has cost us family relations and friends, has caused us to be societally ostracized and laughed at. Women

@cat.8825 4 жыл бұрын

I'm a female, but I had the exact same fears like "what if they think I'm lying?" My own mother didn't even believe me but she "helped" me through obligation. The truth is that she didn't help me at all. She only made me feel worse, and I never made any legal action

@pounamubts7802 4 жыл бұрын

so sorry

@wendyladybug355laurie4 4 жыл бұрын

PrayersnLuv 👼👼 Too Many Abusers Are Excused and The Victim Is Supposed To Have Compassion & Silence & Keep Quiet & Still Be Subjecti To Their Abuser!!!!Yes, I Speak From Experience Too PrayersnLuv 👼👼🥰🥰💝💝🙏🙏✝️✝️

@abidsalim6183 Жыл бұрын

people will believe you. Even if they show you doubts, it is human

@quitthebulshchief1640 3 жыл бұрын

I am also a male victim of rape.I was at a party and had one to many a drink and blacked out.When I woke up there was a woman on top of me I quickly realised what was happening and I managed to get her of me I then left the state and have not returned since.watching another male victim speak out about his abuse brought tears to my eyes

@ameliamelendez1843 4 жыл бұрын

You are not only a survivor, you are the bravest person that is seen.

@bhataktiatma1080 3 жыл бұрын

he is the strongest guy I've ever known! best wishes from india 🇮🇳

@sothisisbasicallyhow4696 3 жыл бұрын

I’m a survivor since age 12, and I’m going through the broken, apathetic stage he described here right now, having only really started to process after years of internalization and bottling up. Those awful questions bounce around in my head too, and I can feel my life spiraling out of control. Views of masculinity are exactly what kept me from reporting my abusers and what made me heavily downplay the event when it was finally discussed; painting an act of deliberate assault as something closer to a game of Simon says. I’ve only told three people, and none of those are family members because I worry that the religion they raised me in and still practice will hold no sympathy for me. Even know I feel like I’m somehow complicit for being unable to stop it, and sometimes I feel weak or less than for so much as allowing myself to be devastated by what happened. I feel unclean, tainted. It’s good to know that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. I hope it gets better.

@ihavenoideawhatimdoing4 2 жыл бұрын

I hope you heal and get a good life 💎

@hahanofuckyou 2 жыл бұрын

You are not weak and you are not tainted. You are strong enough to carry on, you have every day since you were 12. And you are absolutely allowed to feel devastated. What happens to you WAS and IS devastating. You share no fault with those who hurt you. You are the survivpr in this situation. And going through the hard emotions and truly allowing yourself to FEEL, is SO much harder than bottling them up! It's my opinion that feeling is true strength. Allowing yourself to feel the things you fear may break you into pieces is hard and it's painful. But it's the only way forward. You can't reach the light at the end of this tunnel, if you don't take a step forward when you can manage to. Take your time. Baby steps. You will make it there. I beleive in you. This is long and rambling. But I needed to express to you that you are not defined by the worst thing that's ever happened to you. You are more than your trauma. And you are strong. - a fellow childhood survivor

@TheHunkyMuscles 3 жыл бұрын

I can hear the crack in his voice several times... the recovery is there but reliving or alluding to the experience is never easy. I m praying for a complete recovery for you Landon. Thank you for being so brave to share. May many be blessed by your sharing

@GoFredBananass 6 жыл бұрын

I truly feel sorry for this guy. But why does it always take a man to say it before men can empathize with these scenarios? Huge courage from this kid. Thank you.

@duustincrawford2945 5 жыл бұрын

Miss Miss is not that men cannot emphasize. Its just difficult to talk about, but much easier if you hear it from another man first

@johnathandwayne1461 5 жыл бұрын

Women, who bring up society, educated it not to pay attention to those issues when they are not about women.

@johndifrancisco3642 5 жыл бұрын

Miss Miss , It always takes a man to say it for other men to empathize because if it is not said, there would be nothing too empathize about. And it's the men who do NOT empathize that are the one's that make it so scary to do anything close to what this young man is doing.

@cjb1373 5 жыл бұрын

Why do u generalize against all men?

@bigdickmcgee3293 5 жыл бұрын

That is true. Notice the curious lack of comments alleging what about the men who are falsely accused etc etc...

@keithc.rasmussen6943 4 жыл бұрын

What honesty, humility, and kindness. I honor and respect you.

@cristang8500 6 жыл бұрын

Yes, right on. Sensibility is strength and vulnerability is power. These are the qualities in REAL MAN. Thank you for sharing your story. Your are an inspiration , a hero.

@kyroncole4850 5 жыл бұрын

Cris Tang, how's it that vulnerability is power? Genuinely curious.

@tamisweetie 5 жыл бұрын

hello Cole Being vulnerable in this very world is quite simply terrifying. Feelings aren’t accepted as is. Often judgment, other motives and projections are put on us if we share our deepest selves. There’s broken people everywhere, and often the wounds have us completely unsympathetic with others. In a world that lives on the surface, It takes power to be vulnerable.

@kyroncole4850 5 жыл бұрын

@@tamisweetie yeah, I guess. I think I kind of get what you're saying.. but I'm still finding it hard to connect vulnerability with power, sorry it just seems counterintuitive to me. I'd think this guy was vulnerable before he was assaulted. The positive part would be him learning to avoid situations like this in the future, which I'd think is being less vulnerable because vulnerabilities more relative to weakness. But maybe you're talking about the social aspect or something like that. So you're probably right, That stuff always confuses me lol

@selflessly101 5 жыл бұрын

@@kyroncole4850 In order to grow as a human race, we have to be willing to let go of the ego and to able to work together.

@martinsilenus4647 5 жыл бұрын

Has not been the case in my experience.

@lucyallen5771 3 жыл бұрын

Very brave for him to do this speech. At my Grandad's funeral one of my second cousins, a small boy didn't cry throughout the whole thing (he was 8 and didn't quite know what was going on). I remember coming out of the church and his mum said he'd been a good boy for not crying. I just remember thinking how twisted it was that they thought it was a good thing he didn't cry at a funeral! We need to stop doing this people.

@larryolive4829 2 жыл бұрын

messed up 👆 this needs to change

@GrottoGroveGroves 2 жыл бұрын

lucy, kids are resilient besides at eight it may have been his first experience with death or a social gathering where adults he knew were grieving. he may not have fully understand what the gravity of the situation was? one thing though, doubt he will remember his Ma saying he was good for not crying. she may not be the picture you appear to be painting anyway. at eight he would have cried if he needed too.

@TheStarsOfTheLion Жыл бұрын

@@GrottoGroveGroves : I don't think he mean to talk about the boy but the mother, who attempt to imprint in the boy the mindset of crying is bad, not crying is good, men must not cry.

@jeromelj1010 3 жыл бұрын

“It’s not your fault” are the hardest, yet the most essential words to internalise.

@t-jizzyproductions 5 жыл бұрын

For the most part i’m over my situation, but i felt the need to watch this. Just to know that i’m not the only one that went through this. Thank you for your story. You’re a strong man.

@craycraywolf6726 4 жыл бұрын

Please don't forget how great and strong you are.

@tinasong5582 4 жыл бұрын

God bless you. May divine healing always be with you. Especially in the times when you need it the most 🙏🤍

@tinasong5582 4 жыл бұрын

God bless you. May divine healing always be with you. Especially in the times when you need it the most 🙏🤍

@mr-yy8sd 4 жыл бұрын

It's hard for me how did you get over it

@NojusEmperor Жыл бұрын

I can’t imagine how difficult it is for him to talk about it publicly, but he’s doing it for other victims which is very inspiring!

@scottwilson9493 5 жыл бұрын

I hate people so much, so so so much. Why do they always blame the victim and perpetuate the abuse. Why why why

@BlunderCity 4 жыл бұрын

No one is blaming the victim. Give me one example.

@adqueen2548 3 жыл бұрын

@@BlunderCity "what were you wearing?" "Were you asking for it?" "Were you drunk?" "Why would you flirt with him then?" "Why didn't you get away?"

@nagisa0931 3 жыл бұрын

@@adqueen2548 the worst one I’ve ever heard was “It’s your fault for being too pretty” I’m not a victim but only a monster can utter such words.

@stellarocquie7957 3 жыл бұрын

@@BlunderCity Most women.

@fifipuffball5000 3 жыл бұрын

@@nagisa0931 No one is a monster. Some are human beings that have made terrible decisions that they should have never made. They're still human nonetheless. Stripping people of their humanity only makes tough conversations close to impossible to have.

@spaceo8568 4 жыл бұрын

Never use money to measure wealth, never use muscle to measure strength.

@bealltho1 3 жыл бұрын

Those are literally the measures of wealth and strength on a physical scale. That's like saying "don't measure how old you are by how many years you've been alive".

@waryaabdi1068 3 жыл бұрын

@@bealltho1 😂haha

@MrXYZ-sw9wv 3 жыл бұрын

You are a real man ..a Brave man .. Brave enough to share that horrible incident publicly ... Here I am who even can't cry in front of anyone because of the fear that my masculinity would be questioned ... My nephew died 3 years back n i couldn't cry that moment... Yet almost every night I cry in my bed when m sure no one can see me crying ... I wish your braveness was some PDF file, so I could ask u to send it to me via email. That i could download it in my system n became brave like you...

@jamesdenning3729 2 жыл бұрын

It took me twenty years to admit what a teacher did to me and because it's a her no one believes me feel like after saying my truth no one believes me

@dragondash3641 2 жыл бұрын

Im sorry that happened to you, ik what that feels like. I told one of my friends my story and he straight up laughed to my face.

@lilyknudsen8826 3 ай бұрын

As a female survivor, I hear you and love you. I hope you find peace ❤️

@vincentdowning4612 3 жыл бұрын

I can't imagine the courage that it took to stand up and be so vulnerable and truthful. Thanks. Well done.

@laurykristensen6239 3 жыл бұрын

Would love this to be shown in high school. Young men and women can change attitudes of future generations. This man truly is a beautiful representation of a REAL man.

@mender722 7 ай бұрын

I was unable to even admit to myself that I was assaulted. Being in religious and military culture at the time, I felt I had to keep it hidden. I suffered in silence for more than ten years. After I finally admitted to myself what happened, it took me another five years to come to healing. It was a long dark tunnel that I walked, but I eventually came out the other end.

@lindacallahan6330 3 жыл бұрын

I am not a male but have been abused too, and it totally changed my life as well....I feel your pain. So sorry....

@teapartie 5 жыл бұрын

This is one of the most incredible things I have seen on KZfaq. This is truthful , healing and truly brave.

@debbystardust 5 жыл бұрын

Inspiring story. Still dealing with my own traumas and definitely could relate. My early trauma is taboo to talk about (hint: I’m from Alabama), so somehow, I definitely relate to many of the things you were saying.

@BlunderCity 4 жыл бұрын

Do you realise that not talking about it makes it worse?

@Nimish204 2 жыл бұрын

So the Alabama jokes are true? I thought they were jokes of a bygone era.

@NiteStorm324 2 жыл бұрын

Sweet home Alabama intesfies With all do respect I hope you are better

@arcticgoddess 3 ай бұрын

Taboo assaults happen in all places. Hope you are well. ❤

@willjackson6729 2 жыл бұрын

I’m a survivor and it didn’t hit me until I got older Crazy how depressed I got Wanted to harm myself Everything in my life was falling to pieces Then my son was born. I thank God everyday for putting him in my life at the time he did bc my son forces me to face my demons and tackle them bc it will only make me a better father

@coachap 2 жыл бұрын

Hi Will, thank you for sharing, the men I work with also say facing their trauma makes them a better father. Congrats on your son :)

@sarahsherwood217 5 жыл бұрын

You are an incredible man. Thank you for turning this damning experience into something valuable and healing. Not just for you but for all of MENkind.

@jasoncortes2894 4 жыл бұрын

I always preached to people that a “man” doesn’t have to have muscles or do this or do that. It’s okay for a man to cry, it’s okay for a man to have emotions. It’s okay. I personally say that the real men are the ones that can cry and not be ashamed of it. This video not only helped me but it made me change my perspective of myself. Thank you!

@MassachusettsTrainVideos1136 Жыл бұрын

It's ok to be weak but you should try to improve and be healthy

@rakhshanrezaee9345 5 жыл бұрын

My god, you're THE man, I'm sorry for what happened, you are so strong and bold, positive, intelligent....society needs more of you !

@bricenweber2533 3 жыл бұрын

I cant tell if you're clowning on this poor man or just very passionate about this topic.

@peternolan4107 3 жыл бұрын

A very brave young man! Helping many others. What kind of selfish psychos give something like this a thumbs down? Oh course, we have all met people like them.

@miashinbrot8388 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for posting this story, and for letting us know how hard the assumptions that "men are strong" and "men can [or should be able to] protect themselves" made it for you. You will no doubt get abusive responses. I'll mention what you probably already know: that the people who send these responses are doing so out of their own fears and lack of courage to do anything constructive with those fears. The definition of courage, as many people do not realize, is not lack of fear. It's being afraid and doing what you need to do anyway.

@Ames._. 3 жыл бұрын

"I'm excited about the future..." That's the single most beautiful, inspiring and strong statement anyone can ever make, much less someone who's been through the kind of trauma that he has. That's my favourite part of this entire video. Not just because it gives you a sense of hope but also a promise. I love that. To all the people out there who are hurting, I wish for you to come to a point where you can also think "I'm excited about what tomorrow's going to bring" AND honestly believe it.

@mr.sushi2221 9 ай бұрын

I was assaulted very recently and this story has helped me.

@actionforanimals4862 4 жыл бұрын

I like what he said: each man must decide for themselves, individually, what masculinity means for them. In other words, it does not matter what other guys or women or society defines or thinks masculinity is. They do not get to define masculinity. I get to define what masculinity is for me, as an individual. Never let another person tell you how to be a man. That is up to you to define.

@internetjalurlebar 2 жыл бұрын

Wow...beautiful words...

@HumanSagaVault Жыл бұрын

As a survivor and how fcked up and shutted i become exactly like this man, i really feel and empathized with everyone who went through the same horror. I wish you all well ❤

@rvcasa 5 жыл бұрын

Landon has more courage than most men I know! Doesn't that say enough? Thank you for sharing your story, your strength gives me hope.

@mcmw1022 3 жыл бұрын

It's so brave of him to step forward and share what his assaulters did. Every testimony makes it a little bit easier for victims, it's slowly lifting the stigma.

@Hussain_hasan301 Жыл бұрын

It happened to me when i was 5 years old by my "cousin" and it continued till i became 13 years old, i isolated myself i hated myself and now i'm still recovering from it. Sadly when i became 15 years old i got bulimia and it's so hard for me right now to deal with what happened and how i get through it and what shold i do next!. I'm trying my best here all alone so it's either me or them and hopfully it's gonna be me. I told my family they didn't care and tried to avoid it. I tried to find a friend to support me and i do the same for him but i couldn't and even at school they didn't wanna be my friends. I'm suffering from this on my own but at least i want something from life which is: please don't ruin my future, please let it be comfortable and save to live in it, please don't let me give up.

@kushagraverma6456 3 жыл бұрын

*Not all men are bad* *Not all women are saints*

@msl381 2 жыл бұрын

most humans are bad and none are saints.

@gkelly34 5 жыл бұрын

Brave courageous young man. A leader in the making right there.

@Dope_elephant 5 жыл бұрын

People that hurt you? As in more than 1!?? Geez your a very brave man. I pray your life will continue to get better.🤧🙏🏽

@redwhitebluefreedomjamesdy8080 5 жыл бұрын

I'm glad to find these videos. They are helping me out with my healing process 💪

@khadijayorke7980 5 жыл бұрын

Proud of you may God give you all the strength you need and more.

@redwhitebluefreedomjamesdy8080 5 жыл бұрын

@@khadijayorke7980 thanks my friend. 🙏

@khadijayorke7980 5 жыл бұрын

@@redwhitebluefreedomjamesdy8080 of course❤

@craycraywolf6726 4 жыл бұрын

I'm proud of you for doing your best to fight against the pain and heal. I pray that God not only helps you heal but that He also helps you to enjoy life and discover the many beautiful parts of your soul.

@marciasummers5090 6 жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing your experience. You are a real man! You had the strength to speak up and that takes true grit!

@Woofer14123 3 жыл бұрын

I am a survivor too and it really helped me today to watch this video, thanks mate

@artiejoe 3 жыл бұрын

Why the dislikes? He's speaking up. That's bravery.

@user-gg3ff9cz9x 4 ай бұрын

Don't think of the losers

@Fantastimam 4 жыл бұрын

When you have the courage to talk about something so hard, painfull and baffling, you're no less then a hero. Forget al the macho's who are afraid to show theire emotions. A real man has the courage to step over this obsolete belief. You have my greatest respect. 💕💕

@davidwm 5 жыл бұрын

Landon, thank you for sharing your experience. Your courage, honesty and vulnerability speak of the man you are today. By our actions we demonstrate who we really are; talk's cheap at times so to speak. You are and will continue to be a source of inspiration. When you change one life, you change the world. All the best today and every day moving forward.

@SusanneCape 3 жыл бұрын

What a sick society we have become when we dismiss crimes that do not fit the narrative of the day.

@yasminalibazoglu3424 5 жыл бұрын

Thank you for the courage of standing up and speaking about this atrocity.

@satakshianand3533 3 жыл бұрын

Sensitivity should not be stereotyped.. life happens..and definitely it doesn't effects your masculinity.. kudos to such men..👍🏼👍🏼

@kentragin 5 жыл бұрын

Very courageous of you to come out and tell your story. You will find inner strength and never again be silent. 🙏🏼

@michaelwhitley9322 3 жыл бұрын

do you regret telling people? do you regret what it might do to you in the long run because people now know? because i do not either bro. i have so much respect for you. i will for ever be your friend. the only difference is i was 7/8 years old. you were in the 20's. it took me 25 years to tell somebody. i hope you dont receive no disrespect for being open and honest. i will nevrr judge your man hood based off this story. and i hope you dont judge mine.

@indrajitmitra2645 Жыл бұрын

My heart goes out for you. But you are a courageous man and I wish you all luck.

@MarkKerwin 3 жыл бұрын

I am humbled and inspired by his brave talk and being so vulnerable and strong at the same time - very moving , thank you

@meghatolia8943 4 жыл бұрын

It's very brave of you to step up and share your experiences. This gives voice to so many who are going through similar trauma. Let's try and become a society where sensitivity and empathy is valued along with human dignity.

@202020morehourstogo 5 жыл бұрын

You are so brave. Thank you for talking about this. I'm sure you are helping so many men who have experienced the same.

@anachreon01 5 жыл бұрын

Thank you - you are a very brave man, and I hope everyone who listens to you learns the important things you have had the courage to say. Stay well, and become great.

@gerardcollins80 3 жыл бұрын

The fact that there are even dislikes on this video tells you all you need to know about society.

@jonitagonsalves9177 4 жыл бұрын

Hats off to u for pouring ur heart so courageous & voicing ur hurt so calmly. I hope u get healed.

@jasminefacchetti3643 4 жыл бұрын

You moving forward and forgiving is one of the strongest actions I have seen, especially to those that have caused you so much pain. I hope you continue this journey and end up happy!

@monopanda9546 4 жыл бұрын

Charles Quint was one of the most influent emperors / leaders of all times in medieval Europe. And according to historians, he was crying very often, when he had emotions, even though he was a great political leader. Shedding tears not necessarily synonym of mental weakness. It does not make you a lesser man. Or human being.

@wylier 3 жыл бұрын

Interesting story. Do historians say what 'triggered' him?

@matthewgordon3281 Жыл бұрын

His bravery in sharing this to help others is appreciated. So sorry he had to go through it. No one should have to go through this.

@louieadam251 5 жыл бұрын

Short talk but it has more substance- feelings, fear, isolation, survivor and redemption--an inspiring story from Landon who has been through the stages of pain, struggles and yet managed to rise up again. Thanks!!

@omalone1169 4 жыл бұрын

Yea this one went there

@laraoneal7284 Жыл бұрын

This is so needed for all to hear but especially MEN. Ty to this young man for coming forward.

@jmgarcia4612 4 жыл бұрын

I felt sorry for this man. The pain and shame was unmeasurable.

@MostHighDwelling 5 жыл бұрын

He is so beautiful.

@regretfulblue5758 4 жыл бұрын

He is a brave strong man

@hunterrock349 4 жыл бұрын

Yes he is very Handsome

@JOnTHeMOnSoon 4 жыл бұрын

If he wasnt, would you still empathize. Doesnt sound like it.

@VVamptation 4 жыл бұрын

Youre very Beautiful too

@Fia-ps6ur 4 жыл бұрын

JOnTHeMOnSoon we still. Handsome and beautiful mean different in this case

@penelopes.9696 4 жыл бұрын

He's one of the most eloquent speakers I have ever heard. Much respect!

@_alimaat 3 жыл бұрын

This is so inspiring. I wish everyone who fights with things like this a quick and fast emotional recovery

@darenhoey7458 Жыл бұрын

Forgiveness can be given not because someone deserves it but because one deserves to be free of destructive negativity.

@yogiperogy Жыл бұрын

Wow! Amazing, insightful wisdom Daren. Those we ‘hate’ are unaware of our feelings and carry on oblivious to our pain. It’s only ourselves we hurt by harbouring negativity and blocking our healing. My compliments and thanks sir.

@flowerlove2985 5 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad I listened to you speak. You certainly have grown over two years, I applaud speaking as a healing tool. I'm so happy things are coming together for you. Everything you said was eye opening and helpful to me, and now I'll be able to help others. Overall your TEDxTalks was EXCELLENT! Thank you, I wish you the best!

@saymyname5929 5 жыл бұрын

You are brave. It must have took a lot of consideration to say this openly.....

@omalone1169 4 жыл бұрын

He is mode one

4 жыл бұрын

I hope he now has made progress, 2 years after his speech, and that he is having a good perspective and future.

@intrepidtomato 5 жыл бұрын

Thank you for speaking out. This is a really important perspective. It can't have been easy. Good luck to you for rebuilding your life, and shaping your future.