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almost 3 years ago, at almost 22 years old i almost took my own life. I was abused as a kid, broken, depressed, anorexic, bulimic, suicidal. I went in & out of psych units like it was a game of Chess. Suicide watch. I was on enough Antidepressants to kill a horse. I hated myself. I wanted out. I wanted the pain to stop. The gaslighting* to end. *(when a psycho makes a sane person question their own sanity, and thus think they themselves are the insane one). I wanted power. I got into witchcraft. I thought it would give me the identity i wanted, to be set apart from people who hurt me. It only made me sicker. Sicker. Thats what it did to me. The doctors said i’dnever get well. That i would suffer severe Chronic Manic depression, and never be well, that id be stuck on antidepressants all of my life. I would plot suicide on a daily basis, binging and purging my food as often as opening and closing a door. The pain was too real. People choked me. Assaulted me. Told me i was ugly, i felt worthless. Nothing ever got better. Then my mother died. The (1) & only soul who ever loved /emotionally supported me was removed from the earth. I was stuck living with people who broke me, ruined my identity, thus causing me to hate God. I thought God hated me, that he was just like the ones who tortured me, a family of abusers, who cover up all their actions with the mask of religion. I didnt know that God is on my side. I didnt know that Jesus would Love and Defend me, and fight for me and that He later would heal me, rescue me from Family. The ones who caused me pain. The ones who choked me for wearing a necklace. I moved out after family threatened to throw all my belongings on the front yard, and have me permanently institutionalized in an insane asylum, when they were the ones who caused my mental illness via abuse. They blamed me for the abuse they did to me. To take my life in an insane asylum when they were the ones who made me suicidal. Next morning i spoke with my dead moms parents who let me live with them. I stayed on the antidepressants, prescribed. But they only made me sicker. I got deeper and deeper into witchcraft, thinking it was a solution. But it made me even more suicidal. Self hatred was inescapable. All my cards have fallen down. I have nothing left. But out. I wanted out. I decided i was going to kill myself. I was going to take all my pills. But then Jesus stepped in. I didnt die. I surrendered my life to Jesus to make me well and heal me. The deity i blamed for me being abused wanted to heal me. He Was fighting for me and Loved me all along. He wanted to love me. He wanted to give me His Heart. HE LOVES ME. JESUS. LOVES. ME . Jesus miraculously healed me - i am off all drugs and dont need them and i dont have any mental illnesses. I have a job and am totally healed , full of joy. I’m now a born again Christian, in my 20’s who wants the entire world to know that JESUS WANTS TO HEAL YOU HE. LOVES. YOU.

"The deeper the pain, the fewer words you use." Pastor Rick Warren

People have empathy for a broken body, but very little for a broken mind. Thank you for sharing this painfull story and help people to understand that chronic depression is reall and thank you for sharing your story. Job’s friends understood the ministry for only one week. they kept quiet and then they blew it! Can soo relate to this

Our Caitlyn died by suicide at 12 years old. We miss her so much. She was precious and beautiful. We will never be the same. It changed our life forever. Rip Caitlyn. Forever 12

Many saints suffered from depression. Suffering with depression is a heavy cross to carry. May Mathew RIP.

My son committed suicide on February 22nd, 2021. His Birthday would have been yesterday. He would have been 41. I am so sad. I have a group of people surrounding me. I do not know what I would do without them, to this day, Mother’s Day, 2021. He was loved for all he had done over his life in helping others too. I am still in shock, but also pain. I try to suit up and show up for the most part, but honestly it’s going to be awhile longer before I’m strong enough to help anyone with the kind of strength shown here. I will someday, but till then I’m just trying to be with God in solitude, and writing what God gives me to do.

Don’t waste your pain. Use your pain as your purpose to help someone else.

I believe that God has called me to minister to people who are struggling with mental health. Pray with me for strength and power as I embark on this journey.

"The lord is close to those that are crushed at soul and that are broken"

Brother Warren, I lost my 24-year-old daughter to suicide. This has been over 2 years ago. I have never experienced anything as painful in all my life. May God continue to carry you and your wife daily. My wife and I have never been the same. We also hold on to the grace of God. The words God has given you in this short video are precious and meaningful. I hope everyone who has been touched by this type tragedy can take away: you are not alone, and God’s grace will empower you to not waste your one drop of your pain. I write all this with great humility.

My husband committed suicide in March of 2019. I literally felt like someone cut my heart open and he walked out! I don’t no where he is now but l do know that God never allow something in our life without a purpose he is still the Lord of my life even though I’m still in pain l can make it because of the finished work on the cross. Keep the faith Saints.

This is rough. Faith doesn't deny reality. My youngest daughter struggles with depression. I know what he is talking about and my blood runs cold. Everyday I have to put her in Jesus' hands. The things she confesses to me are heartbreaking. I watched this transformation take my baby girl as she approached puberty. There was nothing I could do but watch her fall apart. Now she is 23. We just celebrated her birthday. Never stop praying for and loving your child. Ever! Trust God's grace. The cross was enough. This is our only hope and sanity and why people need Jesus.

I lost a brother to suicide in 2013. His statement: show up and shut up was spot on. I had one person who did just that. There are no words necessary because no words can ease that deep pain.

I had a troubled childhood, grew up depressed. There were times I had wished that I was not born into this world at all. Had I not found the love of Jesus Christ at the right time I wouldn't be here to watch this video today. The best treatment for extreme mental depression would be finding the love of jesus Christ ......

My mother suicided at age 21..left m 6 mths old brother, me 19mths old and sister 4yo. Dad a soldier has a heck of a ride . Life's been very hard so I'm pleading please don't suicide, the pain and destruction left behind is more than most can bear. Watch your families your friends, save them

I know what deep depression feels like. I lost my 12yo daughter, Lana, on Feb 24, 2020. I can’t even choose joy when I wake up everyday with a broken and empty heart. I only manage to live day to day for my 14yo daughter, Jadyn who witnessed her sister get ran over by a truck. I long to be in the presence of our Lord, Jesus. Jesus... please come soon! 🙏🏼

"Your greatest ministry will come from your deepest pain... I'm not gonna waste pain. So whatever your pain is, use that pain to help others. You're gonna go through pain in life; just don't waste it." - Rick Warren

Rick Warren will never know how much he saved and changed my life by helping me to understand more, how much Jesus loves me. God Bless Him and his late son. RIP Matthew.

"How do u choose joy when your heart is broken to million pieces?"

If you have ever experienced deep depression, there is nothing you want more than for the pain to stop and if that means going home to the Lord, you pray for that. It’s no different than having a broken bone that stays broken, except it’s your brain. Love to you and your family.

I love the phrase “show up and shut up”. So many people worry that they don’t know what to say or do when someone experiences a tragedy. That phrase confirms that you can just be present with someone, and that’s enough.

Your son stayed faithful during incredible pain. He’s now partying and celebrating with our loving Lord. God bless you and your family.

It’s the kind of tired sleep won’t fix.

My heart goes out to Pastor Warren and all families affected by suicide. My 29 year old sister took her own life almost 30 years ago, after a life long battle with bipolar disorder. In that moment, I lost the best friend I will ever have. The shock and pain have lessened over the years, but I still feel so sad that she missed out on all the joy life has to offer. Watching her 2 children grow and achieve advanced degrees. The permanence of suicide is what is so hard to accept.

I just want to say, if this might help. I've had depression all my life, and what helped me is seeing a naturopath, who advised me to change my nutrition because so many chemicals are in the food we eat that it affects our overall health, especially our hormones. We overlook that factor but it's not all mental, it's mostly physical and nutrition. Praying for everyone who is battling with this illness.

“Your greatest ministry will come out of your deepest pain.” ....oooo that hit

My father was born blind. His life is the testimony of how to manage your life to the glory of God. He is the most wonderful man of God. His story, is for God’s glory. God’s story is my dad’s glory.

I lost my younger son to suicide 6 years ago. This video was so helpful. Thank you

There's a lot of us with no 'small group' or 'buddies.' We go through terrible times alone ...

Our greatest witness to the world is how we handle pain - Pastor Rick Warren

When I read that his son committed suicide I cried. I asked myself how do a parent get over this? I had a discussion with my son who just turned 18 years old and daughter who was 10 years old and told them whatever happens to you remember that I'm here for you no matter how hard you feel your life is. I love you unconditionally ❤. Yes we all go thru hardship but GOD IS MERCIFUL AND HIS GRACE IS AMAZING. 🙏

My son committed suicide July 2, 2019 I listened to Rick Warren’s whole story on this several times. It was a life saver when my son died. I feel like I will never be healed. My heart is still so broken.

“You’re gonna go through pain in life just don’t waste it” ... “you might as well use it to help someone else out” 🙏🏽✨

Prayers, I have a son that suffers that way as well. He has came close to taking his life several times. My heart breaks for you so I understand.

I pray that my son is covered by the blood of Jesus. I try to converse with him about different things, but he don't really open up to me. I feel that he is holding a lot of pain, hurt, disappointment, fear, anger, and un-forgiveness inside of him. I see videos like this, and it make me concern. I know how KZfaq work, and they use algorithms. But I don't think something like this pop up by accident. So, I pray that he will be alright in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen and Amen and Amen and Amen and Amen.

“How do you choose joy when your heart is being shattered into pieces?”--all I can think of is finally, someone understands what it’s like to be depressed. Whether it’s for 4 weeks or 40 years. This is what depression is. Not knowing how to choose joy when our hearts are shattered. Seems like Rick found a way, it’s possible.

“The deeper the pain the fewer words you use” “Show up and shut up” I have to implement this with my son who has been struggling with mental illness since he was little boy and is still is struggling as a 23-year-old man! This past week has been a difficult one! Please 🙏 for us!

I did overcome depression by a book about identity in Jesus Christ. It changed my life. I was heavy depressed. Didnt want to life anymore and now I feel good. It is possible. Please if you have depression read your bible, its part of who you are.

My Niece Amy struggled with depression & ultimately finally took her own life. My sister & husband were crushed,& devastated. I thank God your testimony helped them. My wife Marianna now to has had a nervous breakdown due to Pandemic & recent situations & needs a miracle from God, please pray for my wife.

Job’s friends sat with him seven days and seven nights without saying a word.

When my daughter was about 16 she says to me, "if life is this hard, why do I want another 70 years of it?" 😐 What do you say to that..? I told her you haven't even been through the good times yet. Having your own place, go on vacations, been in love, a parent. She's 21 now and in a very "good place" she's happy. I tell her how proud and impressed I am that she got herself through a very tough time. She's proud of herself and optimistic and has a desire to succeed in all facets of her life 🙏

So heartbreaking..this is why DELIVERANCE MINISTRY needs to be revived in the church! Jesus has given us power over the enemy.

A friend, a true friend will be there when you are at your lowest. They won’t offer any words, they will be there, next to you, silent.

CH Spurgeon struggled all his life with depression. It is a difficult monster to tame. May the Lord richly bless you and give you peace.

As a believer who struggles with all these things..this was so powerful

My Pastors son (also my friend) recently committed suicide. I immediately sent this video to them. Thank you Pastor Warren for sharing your testimony!!!

Christians need to stop saying ppl that commit suicide go to hell BC one no one knows a man’s heart except God . Two only God can send someone to heaven or hell he is the ultimate judge.Three the only sin he will not forgive us for is blasphemy the Holy Ghost. . Defiling the temple can be over eating, tanning ,being stressed . Stop telling others their family went to hell ... it’s not right .

I have dipresshion, I pray I hold on to my father 🙌

God help us all...to be sensitive,loving and supportive to all christians ...as we are all siblings in God's family. Lord Jesus, in Your Name!

This touched me so deeply. My best friend i grew up with took her own life on August 5 2020 and it's been such a hard time, I've been a Christian all my life but this event took alot out of me because I've had so many tragic events in my life and I know the Lord is always with me but this event hit me hard , I'm in a state of emotional numbness from these attacks on my life since I was born . I know my Savior Jesus is always with me I'll never deny that but I just can't wait to get out of this wilderness. I pray for the healing of everyone who's ever lossed a loved one to suicide my heart is with you!

I’m so sorry about your son Rick! I lost my Dad 17 years ago and my mom too last year. It has been the darkest time of my life for me but I’m still believing that there will be a turn of events some day. I pray that this pain will bring out my greatest ministry and give hope to thousands of people going through what I went through!

When I lost my mom to cancer, after already losing my dad of a sudden death, those who just hugged me and cried with me gave me the most comfort. The most heartbreaking thing was well meaning people,and yet clueless, who would tell me “at least she’s in a better place and not suffering”.

Dear Pastor Rick, 2:30am here in Tsv Australia I am listening to your testimony repeatedly. What you have just shared really lifted my heart, *The deeper the pain the fewer words we use*. I lost my 16 year old son through suicide. I found him myself. I prayed this way, Lord please have mercy upon me. Anyway long story short, he stayed another 3 more days in ICU and passed on. I pleaded to our Father in Heaven, nothing happened. My last words were, Lord I asked but You did not give me my son back - But I will still follow and serve You. It was that very moment my life shifted. I truly believe and know there is nothing that takes God by surprise. He is God and He change NOT. He is still sitted on His Throne AMEN 🙏. I pray God's Divine Healing, Favour and Excellence upon your Ministry and it is in Jesus Name I pray AMEN 🙏🙏🙏

My husband just died today, he’s my best friend, my soulmate, the love of my life. He’s the best man I know. How can I choose joy?

Yes.. i agree Rick. God spoke to me vocally “i have a purpose for your pain.”...God knows how deep my pain is...I’ve longed to be free of this pain but I’m becoming grateful for it. Ive struggled with metal health..terrible things happened to me before i was 2 then after i was adopted. I want to embrace my pain..please pray for me so i can partner with God in my pain and use it to bring souls to His heart forever.

I know how your son felt. I deal with depression on a daily basis. I try hard to inform others that mental illness and being clinically depressed can not be corrected by thinking better or even doing good things. It can help one catch a break but not for long. Some of us are still hanging on with hope. Suicide is a sign that the pain is unbearable. I have been in the hospital three times due to suicide. My pain is the witness of how I can help others push through. I always feel available to share my story because many people just need to feel relatable. This is very important. I totally agree. The deeper the pain, the fewer the words.

We lost our son to suicide 2/9/18.....worst day of our lives. Bless you.

I have experienced similarly.. we and our son searched the world !!! my son is still alive.. unexplainable.. it’s broken beyond torture.. oh my may my son overcome and I may share with u someday.. love and blessings!!

Oh ABBA!!! "In God's garden of grace even broken trees bear fruit." "Our greatest witness in this world is how me manage pain."

I'm in pain every day. stuck in what feels like emotional quicksand. My passion for life is nonexistent rt now. I can't imagine ever feeling well again. Everything hurts. When I wake up reality rushes back into my mind and heart. I know my lord and my faith is strong .I couldn't go through this without his comfort . I lost my son 3 months ago. Joey was 26. I found him in the morning and held him as I prayed and cried. It was diabetes related we believe... still don't know for sure. I miss his voice ,his face ,his way , his intelligence, his love, I miss being whole. I miss talking to him, his attitude, his laugh , I miss my baby boy . I miss being who I was. I know one day I'll be reunited with him. I can't wait 🙏 Lord please stay close to me. I'll be needing you more then ever. Jesus I love you.

The biggest impact we had on our neighbours was not by being kind, loving pastors but by watching us walk the pain of a family suicide with dependence and trust in a loving God.

Our greatest witness is how we handle pain. ~Pastor Rick Warren 💯 FACTS!!!!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

Rev Rick Warren, Mathew, your son, is living a beautiful, amazing life with our Lord! Mathew's Ministry is not over, the Lord is going to use him in a mighty way! Mathew is looking forward to seeing you arrive at heaven, but wants you to stay on earth as long as the Lord wants you here to complete your assignments, you and your most precious wife, Mrs Rick Warren. We love you dearly, studied two of your books in Seminary. My husband is a Pastor of a Spanish, American Baptist Church. We call it a Seed Church, obviously due to it's size. I feel that Mathew sowed his own life to The Lord, and for that he will be greatly rewarded. Blessings

'In God's garden of grace even broken trees bear fruit- and we're all broken.' This is it.

💕In God's garden of grace, even a broken tree can bear fruit.💕

Am so thankful to have found this testimony! My daughter took her life 6 months ago. She struggled with depression and anxiety since her teenage years. It's a pain like no other and I never thought in a million years, that this would be my life.

6 years ago, the testimony of you and your wife made such a huge difference for me while I was mourning a loss. Everything, even unbearable pain, has a purpose

Deliverance Ministry needs to be revived in the Church ! 🙏🙏

God bless you and your family Pastor Warren. My heart cries and prays for you as I know something of the pain you are describing. I lost my youngest brother to suicide 7 and 1/2 years ago. You speak volumes when you say that your greatest ministry and message comes from your greatest pain. I know that God has allowed me to go through the things I have gone through so that I can reach back and help others who are going through the same thing. Don't waste your pain. God is faithful. Keep pressing into HIM. Love, prayers and blessings. Kim Padgett

My mom suffers from bipolar disorder and she’s been having a bad episode for the past 6 months and it’s just me and her. I don’t know when healing is coming, I’m praying. It’s been so challenging but each day God gives me the grace to go on, to see it through His eyes. I make mistakes, I get angry, I doubt, I cry. This encouraged me so, knowing that Pastor Warren you can still encourage and stand and share through your heartbreak. We are not alone in our suffering, thank you for sharing 🙏🏽May God continue to comfort and heal you and your wife’s heart. May you continue to see miracles and your faith never fail. Thank you for your transparency and vulnerability ♥️

This word blessed me so much. Last year I lost my father by alcohol even after more than a decade praying and helping him to overcome addiction, the thought of being called and somebody saying to me he died happened. The process through the years and his death broke me in many ways but i began a process of healing and I think one day I will be able to bless many with what God has taught me and given me through this.

when my best friend's mother died, she was crying and i knew then what had happened. i just told her, i'm here.

The deeper the pains, the fewer the words🙌.

I ' m.going through depression and body stiffness. I ' m not satisfied with my life yet. .I had a lot of regrets and failures. I still want to see that God restore the years wasted in my lifre. I don ' t know how to get there. Only God ' s divine interventation can help me through this. Oftentimes I feel hopeless. I just don' t have to depend on my feelings. I thank you for your message to never waste pain . Your experience is never wasted. It ministers to people going through pain. God bless you Pastor Rick Warren.

Years ago i read 2 of your books, excellence in the workplace and excellence in character. I applied every biblical principle in the workplace and in my life. I prospered so much in my life. Thank you for wisdom to have written those books. May God richly bless you and i am sure you have touched many lives.

This was the best explanation I've ever heard about pain and suffering and pastor Rick gave the best answer a dad could give in a situation like this. Ultimately our children make their own choices.

The deeper the pain, the fewer the words. Amen. God bless you, Pastor Rick 🙏 ❤ thank you for being a voice for those who are struggling with mental health issues. You are a Godsend.

That’s why deliverance ministry is needed

Idk how this was recommended to me !! But it’s so crazy bc my brother took his life also. It’s very hard and unimaginable. Thank you pastor. Thank you lord! 🙏 RIP GILBERTO JR

The Ministry of Presence. I LOVE THIS. When my best friend miscarried at 7 months I HAD NO IDEA what to say or do. She just sobbed and I felt hopeless. I just held her and let her cry, I felt like I didn't do much but later she said she was happy I was just there. I sometimes underestimate the power of PRESENCE. love it.

Thanks for sharing your testimony, it certainly helped me to live with my husband suicide. The words "don't waste your pain" struck me deeply.

"You are going to go through pain in life, just dont waste it. If you are going to go through pain you might as well use it to help someone else out"

This video popped up today as a random offer for viewing. Just want to say Thank You.... to God, to Rick Warren, and to TBN. How sobering, transparent, and honest. Yes, mental illness is found in most families, and is certainly exacerbated during the pandemic. Love steady Saints. Some are trapped within themselves. Be there whenever possible, never stop praying, and love steady. Again, thank you.

Oh Lord!!!! Parents passing is hard. How much harder shall it be with the passing away of your own child? Hope God's Peace with both of you.

The deeper the pain the fewer words you use.....that’s deep. Ministry of presence...show up and shut up. So profound

Pray for my son James, who has multiple, serious mental health issues. Many suicide attempts, hundreds of cuts, etc.. I had to get a Civil Protective Order and he is now homeless. Pray that he would want to get help and take his meds.

I'm born again but seriously struggle from severe panic attacks coupled with depression. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME! I've been on medication for years. However, it has never been so hellish consecutively! I covet your prayers please.

Dear pastor, my papa passed on 31/2years ago n my mams passed on six months ago. I have been grieving all these years .. pain is not going away... I know how U feel... My heart is broken into pieces...

Our condolences Pastor Rick. I can truly relate to your feelings. We also lost our son two and a half years ago in 2018. Also by suicide! The worst part is that he was in America and we live in South Africa. He came to visit us in Cape Town early August 2018. He was a beautiful young man 41yrs old. The day he left the airport in Cape Town to go back to the US, he, my wife and I were still talking about making plans to join him and his wife in the US. Little did we know that he would take his own life in September. We are still shattered to this day. We have never had any closure as he was cremated in the US. We also lost our daughter on July 4th 2015. She died from natural causes but both our children suffered depression. My wife and I still wonder and blame ourselves for their conditions. Presently we are so depressed ourselves and suicide is sitting very high up on my agenda. We are pensioners and struggling to make ends meet. Life just does'nt feel worth it some days. My wife is a devout Christian and optimistic but me I am totally opposite at this stage. I feel like my life is done here on earth. I would much rather be with my children.

Bro Rick Warren..you are a blessing. I Taught Your PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE BOOK for Year 12 in my High School. A student later wrote in an Essay how the lessons helped her overcome Suicidal thoughts...Praise GOD! Many Thanks! God Bless!

Show up and shut up just be present. This is sooo good.

I saved someone's life (age 11) at an attempted suicide 2 years ago. I still struggle with this time to time. But glad God put me there at the right time to save him. He us now on his way to healing. It hurts! Book coming out soon.

"The deeper the pain the fewer words you use" Rick Warren

Oh Lord when words can't not explain LISTEN TO OUR HEART ❤️

Been through losing my only son. My only blood child only through the power and love of our Jesus Christ and savour. That is what kept going on

Wow. So well said! I experienced that when my son as 16 year old who lost his dad as a 11year old could pray for a younger boy who just lost his father. God is good ALL the time!

My uncle is a pastor & his son he raised walked in to his home & gave up his life in the basement of his home & it hurt everyone but still he carries the flame ❤

Waw! Didn’t expect this one 😣!! But this video gives me hope! We are all broken, the goal is not to be perfect nor things .. it’s how we handle pain’! Ah Holy Spirit sustain those who seek you 🤍 Amen.

“Don’t waste the pain”.....wow. Just wow!!!