Buddha walks into a bar. Instantly Buddha becomes a Christian, because Spurius Flavius was already in that bar.

*Spurius Falvius enters Pagan Territory* Pagans: "Your Religious beliefs are about as strong as a mosquito!" Spurius Flavius: "You're already Christian." Pagans: "Nani!?" *Pagans implode in Christian*

Meanwhile, in Vicus Sarmatae... 🎶 Let's get down to business To defeat the Huns 🎶

Part 3: Caius Flavius was stunned beyond words. The spy told him how they had lost the hordes. The death of Valentinus the Wrathful had been a blow, after he had led them through the Rebellions. It was his first official day as the Emperor and he is starting it by learning his people were utterly useless. ‘How? Caius thought, ‘How does a man lose sight of thousands and thousands of men wearing battle armor and riding horses…the horses?’ The Emperor suddenly stood up and shouted “You didn’t realize the hordes are mostly horse and have better movement? We need to move out immediately and take the fight to them!” A round of ayes made their way across his command tent. However, from the back, a single voice spoke up, “No, my Emperor.” Caius looked to the back to see his historian standing there with the same parchment and quill he always possessed. “These hordes are mostly horse while we are mainly foot”, the historian who had been with him since his time in Augusta Vindelicorum reasoned, “They will pepper us from afar and bleed us dry while Salona will remain in Rebel hands.” One of the generals hissed, “For all your knowledge, you know nothing. No horde is our equal. We are Rome!” The historian simply replied, “And for all you are Rome, it was your people who lost the hordes. They have had time to prepare the ambush. If we do nothing, we have the advantage. Either they can stay where they are and run out of food, fight the Eastern traitors, fight among themselves, or attack us on our own terms. It matters not where they are if we control the battlefield. We have the supply lines, we have a defensive position, and we have our Emperor and his guard. Make the most of our arches and our spears and foot will crush everything they have.” Caius looked up and said, “Send out your spies again, general. I would know where they are and what they are doing before I act.” The men filed out of the room and the Emperor of the West asked his historian to remain behind. “Thank you”, Caius said to his friend, “I think I would have made a rush decision and lost everything if you hadn’t said something. The weight of this crown wears heavily and I for the first time- I feel lost. The historian, Aulus Opsius Acacius, looked to his liege and said, “You know I would not abandon you in your time of need, your majesty. I know this has been hard for you and your own son has relinquished being the Heir for reasons that even I do not know. However, Spurius is still of the blood, still of the name, and I believe he will win the Saxon Coast. Decimus will do his duty in Rome. The coffers are replenished…to a degree anyway. We are going to survive this. For the first time that day, the crown felt a little lighter.

Emperor Caius on his first day fends off the Vandal horde and then single handedly crushes it? Truly, he has earned his title as the Vatinius of Rome. Ave Vatinius!!!

I gotta say Jon, I didn’t realise how much I missed watching you play Rome Total War until now. Medieval II was fun and everything; but Rome, is something else. It’s the battle tactics, the absurd generals - ‘the most Christian man who ever Christened’ - the little historical tidbits; little things like that. However, the thing that is must exciting is how difficult this campaign is. It’s thrilling watching you weasel your way out of this farkakte mishegas! Let’s see if you can pull of ‘imperium sine fine’. P.S. Release more of these faster!!!!

Pagans: "kill all Romans for Woden!" Spurius Flavius: "Hey..." Pagans: "Praise Jesus! Deus vult!"

I love Jon's cathartic 'charge down the barbarians with cavalry' during those river crossing battles

56:34 YES JON, THIS IS HOW HISTORY WORKS. TRUST THE NARRATOR MAN .....ALSO, ACTUALLY WELL DONE, MY VOICE WAS NOT CRACKED IN VAIN!

Spurious "More Christian than Literally Jesus" Flavius shall rule the world one day, and God shall weep, for he knows that he will never create a better human.

The barbarians have mastered the ability to walk through shallow water...amazing.

Hello, there was a lot of support last week for my writing about Spurius Flavius. This is part 2 and 3 from Decimus's and Caius's POV. I kind of want to make it a novelization thingy, but for now I am just having fun. Part 2: In the halls of Rome, the Acting Governor Decimus Flavius sat upon his seat of power. It was a beautiful day outside, reflective of Decimus’s good mood. A normal person would think he’d gone mad. Decimus had just been stripped of his status as Heir to the West. The prestige of being the next Emperor. His Father- Emperor Caius Flavius I declared him unsuitable to be the next Emperor and instead granted the honor to his friend, Spurius Flavius. The whispers of the court spread like wildfire, with the most important question of all at the tips of the tongue: why? It was the answer to this question that had made Decimus smile. He thought back to his first and only battle. It was against some minor peasant revolutionaries outside of Rome, during the Rebellions. These rebels fought because they had no choice- fight or die- rising against Rome had always been a death sentence. Yet, while other men cheered and drank to victory, he felt no glory. Yes, he did his duty and his enemies had fallen, he was a true Roman after all. It wasn’t what made him happy though. Management of the Empire, of Rome itself, is what made his heart sing. He sliced though the bureaucracy like a legionary spear through a barbarian. Decimus had more than doubled the income Rome made since his arrival and did it with far fewer troops than anyone else. Even a blind, deaf, comatose, lobotomy patient could have seen that Rome’s power wasn’t what it once was, however. The legions had been reformed, the slave pits grown excessive and wretched, and now even more hordes of barbarians descended upon them. Decimus was no great warrior and he was not at his prime fighting the hordes. Spurius Flavius could unite the realm though, with a fervor of faith like his. So it was, the grand master plan took shape. Spurius would be the next Emperor and Decimus would remain his most faithful supporter guarding Rome itself. Spurius was shocked and initially refused, thinking that he would be unworthy to hold the title once possessed by Julianus Vatinius himself. Finally, Decimus offered to convert to the Christian faith to prove his loyalty. Spurius relented and soon they convinced Decimus’s father Caius that it was the only solution possible. Decimus knew his role and played it well during the Rebellion years. He was the fake Heir all along. However, it brought the more moderate Romans into line. Extremists would have fought back against Spurius during this time period and the court felt Decimus was more reasonable to work with. With the Empire back on its feet, the conversion could begin in force to the north. Spurius would take his men north to the Saxons and then flank on around to Britannia, bringing a unifying faith with him. Aquincum had been held and now it was up to the Emperor. “Father” Decimus thought, “You better not throw your life away against those savages.” He went to the Church to pray for his father’s safety and protection. With a glint in his eye, the chess master of the Western court knew everything would be all right. Decimus would lead the home front while Spurius and Caius led the front lines.

I think horde defences are my favorite Rome and Medieval II videos because Jon begins to sound like a sports commentator during them.

I had to spend a terrible weekend with people I could not be bothered to care about at a wedding I gave no shits about. Your video, of under an hour, has washed away all that. Thank you, from the depth of my heart. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I love this Barbarian Invasion series.

This series is so much better than your medieval 2 series. Don't get me wrong, it had it's highlights, but the big climactic battles were just too scarce and the hordes took way too long to get into the game practically. This episode felt like a proper climax for the Vandal threat. Three major battles in one early episode of the series is glorious insanity.

I think Julianus Vatinius would be proud of the new emperor.

The pirate admiral Jovinus, scourge of the narrow sea is obviously an ancestor of the great danish privateer Jon from M2:TW.

so Huns broken , Vandals gone, Saxon weakened, its going to be the Pirates that fall Rome ? !!

Remember to use the rally ability when charging with the general because he stops and falls behind the bodyguard, stopping him from being easily killed in combat

The Hordes. The Best Reason to play the East. The East has so much better Walls and Defensive Infrastructure. I once got attacked by 4 Hordes at once in Constantinople. I only had 4 of the Better Eastern Archers and 3 Comitatenses.

Hello and welcome, here we will see what factions have done interesting in this episode! We'll be able to see the progress of all factions through the serie. (MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS) -The Western Romans: The Roman Armies are moving forward new targets such as the saxons or maybe the berbers, even though the north is in danger against the celts, the south is secured thanks to a crushing victory against the Berbers in Carthage (no thanks to camels) but also by the death of the Vandals, indeed, Caius Flavius, the emperor managed to defeat by himself the Vandal Horde. -The Huns: Not much to say, they're just getting humiliated by the Sarmatians... -The Eastern Romans: Gathering some troops -The Vandals: tried something in northern Italy but they all died (how sad) -The Franks: Probably seeking for revenge against Rome. -The Saxons: Showing their real strenght -The Sassanids: Pretty nice Empire, trading with Western Rome -The Berbers: completely dumb -The Celts: Being scary -The Burgundy and Lombardy: ???????? -The Goths: ??????? -The Roxolani: chilling -The Sarmatians: Probably bored of these multiples suicidal hunnic sieges

I would put your archers in loose formation right on the river's edge so that they can always have the first shot. Bring up the infantry just as the enemy starts crossing. It's not like Attila where you have def testudo

“Britain’s on fire” an accurate representation of modern day events...

the editing is excellent in this series. in previous total war series the turns lasted too long and there just wasn't enough combat per episode. this is the rockem sockem we all wanted.

1st battle - 693 men dead. 2nd battle - 639 men dead. Jon - "We lost lots more men the second time."

Caius Flavius: A Vandal horde, Marcus! ON AN OPEN FIELD!!!

Jon! In this generation of total war games, experience and weapon/armour quality is tracked at the per model level with the Unit Card displaying an average of its models. You never actually lose XP or upgrades by merging.

During the river battle at the start. The horde was pagan, right? If so, then the only thing i can imagine the priests chanting were "DEUS VULT, DEUS VULT" In a low, almost cult-like chant.

Jon, use your flipping loose formation on your archers, I can’t handle the pain of losing valuable units- OH GOD, WHY!?

Spurius Flavius went all Charlemagne on those saxons

The Berbers are forced to retreat back to their own territory via the road.

19:00 Uuuuuuh ever heard of "loose formation"?

24:51 classic -1 perception jon

This was a final stand worthy of even Captain Nero! Long live the Emperor!

That defensive formation in the last battle at the end was a thing of beauty. This is why we all love Total War so much.

New upload = no sleep and a mandatory rewatch of the entire Rome series

Jon: If I can knock out their infantry they've got nothing. Jon, in the next clip: We're doing a good job knocking down their cavalry.

Glad to see there wont be vandalism happening in Italy.

One horde down, one horde weakened, and the third is still patiently waiting for their turn to appear. Turns out they weren't that much of a problem after all.

Commenting historical battles like it is a football match. I love it!

meanwhile, in Space Rome Julianus Vitinius, now a few hundred years old, but still as good a leader as ever "Men, our Roman brethren are still fighting, with the most christian man that ever christianed, who will join me, and my Cretan archer honor guard to help our roman brothers?"

I saw a -1 perception in there with aulus flavius :(

When I watch Jon's Total War series I always secretly hope he gets hammered by the AI only to then stage a back-against-the-wall glorious comeback. Never happens though. He's just too damned good! Steam rolls everyone

Atta-boy! Showing those barbarians the sharp and pointy side of Rome!

Jon, the only man able to make a Rome/Vandals key battle sound like a football match commentary.

"The campaign against the Saxons is going to take a little longer than I thought." - Many A True Nerd & Charlemagne

this is inspiring me to play rome again; love playing as barbarians just for some difference, looks better in this expansion (never really played through this one). I'll try to share in some way!! lol also, Jon, Claire or Tabby, if you see this, that second bridge battle when jon is yelling 77%, 80% and still dying; my vote for being a part of a title card thing for this series. if that gets made. lol.

Spurius Flavius is the Karl Franz of Rome.

48:00 yeah, this is why you NEED to invest in a small fleet just to deal with pirates. You need to ensure that your trade is secure. Jon always does this, ignore the pirate problem until they start becoming a far more serious and difficult problem to deal with.

‘Britain is slightly on fire right now’ so true

lol at 56:49 that was the sloppiest battle I think I've ever seen. your unit formations are hillarious.

8:51 I pissed myself laughing

Vandals, Scandals and losing Handles

Tropico and Barbarian invasion on the same day? Is it all of our birthdays?

Going to get a cuppa ☕️ and keep watching these epic battles!

Vandals, Scandals, Smandals! not like Rome hasnt dealt with them before

Caius flavius the barbarian slayer of the vandal wars.

This is one of the most enjoyable Rome Total War You Tube series I have ever watched... keep it up!

Caius Flavius from this field of battle. The Legions of Rome hail you Imperatour and present you with the Grass Crown. For saving the army on this day. Praise Jupiter Invictus!

Spurius Flavius should have an ability to walk through the ocean, like Moses.

this needs to be a everyday series, or at least every other day!

Best campaign on the internet!

Honest Roman steel, I just love it

Love the slogan "the most Christian man who ever Christianed", cheers me everytime I hear it :)

Hail Caius! Victor Wandalorum! May the Battle of Caperetto go down in the lore of Rome as the greatest Roman victory since the days of Julianus Vatinius!

That was beautiful. That was like a story that a Roman historian would make up, with no way of confirming if it happened. And yet, the Vandals were wiped from the very Earth in front of our eyes.

All hail Caius Flavius, scourge of the Vandal horde!

I did not think I'd like this series as much as I do. Awesome!

that excited comedy at the end!! love it :) definitely one of my favorite videos on youtube

This is so flippin' engaging. You gained a definitely 100% Christian sub.

I shed the blood the Saxon men *sings*

“There’s only so long he can stand against them” a full stack army should easily hold back a horde if my third stack army splits between light heavy and missile cav saw the entire hun horde off

Playing as Western Rome is so fun. So glad you're doing this.

23:27 That's a cross. A symbolic cross of cadavers. Very suiting considering you had catholic priests on your side, and the enemy were pagans lol

That river crossing commentary sounded like something you'd hear during a -NFL game- Esports event for League of Legends or some shit. XD 22:34 CHOPPY CHOPPY, GET THE FUCK OFF MY PROPERTY!

*sings* "Stop right now, thank you very much, i need an opponent with the Vandal touch..." :)

Oh wow, now I know how it feels to not have another episode out and be left in a cliffhanger for the battle, I shall wait for you, my dearest Spurius.

I just recently delved into Rome Total War and The Barbarian Invasion I usually play Sub Command Or the fallout series Your Videos are very informative and your comments about the guy converting his people's religion always makes me Laugh, because I was Raised Catholic

youd think theyd start getting discouraged after arriving at the riverside and seeing the immense corpse piles

I love this series so much, maybe too much. Can't wait for all the next episodes.

Vicus Sarmatae defeat the Huns several times,Meanwhile Sarmatian Auxilia runs down Huns in the Roman army. *Hmmm*

Who needs Game of Thrones when you have this!

It got dicey there lmao

The Romans legionaries have arrived

Dude you're obviously really knowledgeable and it's amazing

Congrats, that's one hell of a campaign against the Vandals there!

Lets hope noone has to drink the water downstream from that river.

Quick tip for helping fix the economy, put the tax rate all the way up for one turn to get a load on money then put it back down next turn to prevent revolt.

damn this is by far my favorite total war video that you've made. so tense! so exciting! its great!

Thrilling final battle!

"Aahhh yeah some generic chanting" I lost it there 😂😂

22:33 Choppy Choppy Choppy Get off my Property.

This is a magnificient video jon

Wow text book plays, good job jon 🇮🇲

35:06 [2020 flashback starts]

one hell of a battle really good job indeed Jon.

Fighting hordes in an open field? IN AN OPEN FIELD NED!!

From this point on I think the emperor should be named Caius Flavius Vandalicus

Thank You jon! Now i've got to play that game again myself.

Great achievement on eliminating one of the hordes! I say you should swing east and at least take the soft squishy target which is the rebel settlement so that the Huns can't nab it!