I find comfort in knowing that the vast majority of these affairs that men leave their wives for never work out in the end and the man ends up alone like he deserves.

The other woman doesn't care at all that she broke up two families. I saw her at the store and instead of being ashamed and trying to hide from me, she looked at me and started laughing hysterically. I simply blew her kiss and walked away. She can keep that monster.

I'll always believe IT TAKES TWO TO CHEAT. 🙄🤷‍♀️

The irony, of the statement, of the wife being cheated on, is that she looks at the mistress as the pariah, but she never seems to hold her husband accountable, as well! If the mistress isn’t a good person, then what does that make a husband who cheated with her?

This ‘THING’ they got swept up in was LUST!!!

It won't be long for alot of men to begin cheating on the other woman Mine did... cheaters will many times continue to cheat

Well my husband of 20 years had year long affairs with 2 of my friends, their children and mine were close friends also . This has damaged so many let alone me daughters who are utterly destroyed and humiliated to know their father is a pathological liar and sexually devious. This horrific betrayal is something that has taken me 3 years to try and comprehend and pull apart how he orchestrated this. This should be a lawful crime.

Rejection is God’s protection!

I think what many wives don't realize or want to hear is that the other woman is told that they are separated, it's over and that she wanted the divorce. That is what was told to me. He spent weekends with me and told her lies. He told me lies. He went on vacation with me, spent 6 days with me at Thanksgiving. He lived a double life. No one wants to be the other woman. When I found out, I left. The wife blamed me and never thought to blame him. Meanwhile, he sought me out because we dated in high school. She wanted no truth. Wives, do not be like my ex's wife. Don't believe it's the other woman's fault. Your husband chose to lie to you and more than likely her, too.

Strangely, I never blamed her It wasn't about her , it was 100% on him. The other woman was inconsequential to me .

Thats happened to me. My husband left me with our 3 years old daughter and disappered with other woman. Long time i saw traumatic nightmares like im on streets and asking to strangers are they know where is my husband is. I worried about can i trust to anyone again? Now time is change and i realise every tragedy carry its own luck. I'm glad and happy to have my daughter. and i saw im not sleeping awake with passive aggresive guy, building lots of hate inside himself while im cooking for my family without knowing his hate& his secret escape plans. And if you ask me what is happening to other women actually they sacrifice themself for taking more pain on our shoulders without knowing.

Your answer to the first question was brilliant - thank you. Realising that it was all driven by emotion with no rational thought involved is a huge step forward. It is awful to realise that a middle aged man is capable of behaving like a silly adolescent but it is better than thinking he’s a monster. Also absolutely explains why so many “runaways” ( male and female) end up bitterly regretting it.

Thanks Vikki, my husband left me with 3 children. It's now 4 years, I couldn't believe that was the end. I can't seem to believe it, it's so painful. I am trying to get over it but things are tough for me. Children look up to me for everything. I need to be strong to look after them. I just need a little advice or talk. I am glad to come across your videos. I will listen to them all...

These women should tell the cheater to find another fool to love him.Shakespeare was right when he said that men are liars

It never was this way 60 , 70 years ago all my grandparents stayed with their wives untill they died . This society nowdays alot different .And it's not gonna get any better.

It was never about her He lied to her too This is his to carry

Even if the information the other woman is given isn’t true, the other women should immediately shut it down and tell the guy to beat it until the divorce happens.

The large majority of men who have another woman stay with their wives, assuming the marriage relationship is reasonably good. If he leaves for the other woman - he typically would have left regardless of another woman. It is fairly common among wealthy people.

I'm happy being single and free😊

I've never trusted men When I'm betrayed in already prepped in my heart that they would do it anyway My husband hasn't left but he and my mom have betrayed me and I dont even want to be in their presence anymore I hate fakeness in ppl Good video, I think this is my second time watching

My ex left me for a co-worker while I was sick and dealing with an illness. I let her have him as he wasn’t an easy person to live with. Yes it hurt and was hard but it was for the best. Cheaters not only betray you and lie to you. They don’t care that they hurt you. I could never trust him. And if they are lying to you they are lying to the other woman. It didn’t take long after we divorced that they were complaining about each other. I think most women when reflecting on their relationship realize that there were problems.

Nothing helps. You just have to slowly feel the pain and move through it. You do have to discipline yourself and thoughts. Even that though comes slowly. You have to come to accept over time that they are gone just like in real physical death, because essentially it’s the same. The marriage died. It’s OVER. HIS FEELINGS FOR YOU ARE GONE. NON EXISTENT. YOU CANT MAKE SOMEONE LOVE YOU. THE MEMORIAL OF WHAT YOU HAD AND WERE IS NO LONGER MUTUAL. YOU DONT HAVE TO ACCEPT THE OTHER WOMAN EVER. YOU CAN FORGIVE THEM BOTH. THAT TO CAN TAKE TIME. THE BEST PERSON FOR YOU IS YOU. LOVE YOURSELF. DONT TORMENT YOURSELF WITH MORE PAIN. WE HAVE TO LET THEM GO, ACCEPT DEATH AND EMBRACE OUR VERY MUCH STILL ALIVE SELVES AND OUR LIFE IN THE NOW. YOU AND GOD. MOVE FOWARD AND DONT LOOK BACK. DONT LOOK BACK.

It’s all about lust.

So how do you move on from the pain and betrayal from abandonment and feeling replaced when you have to coparent and he bought a house with the other woman and moved her child in. Not only to I feel replaced as a wife but as a mother while they gave family vacations and do family type things. All the things we used to do and then my daughter comes home to just me. I alway feel at a disadvantage and although it’s been 2.5 years since, it hurts like it was yesterday. I am not the mother I used to be, I’m sad, I’m defeated. He took so much from me and my daughter. After 18 years, he was gone in 2 days and living with her within 2 months. There is no forgetting, forgiving. The other woman was his employee and not only did she know about me and my daughter, she knew us, saw us at company events and then smirks when she sees me. She gets pleasure from my pain. His family who I thought of as my family just accepts it. I feel like he threw me away and destroyed me and he keeps doing it. Every time he pulls out of the driveway with my daughter, every holiday, birthday. How do you move on from that?

Vicki, your book has helped me so much in The last 2 months. And I am so grateful to have found these you tube videos. The trauma of WAS is so deep and it has kept me going knowing there is a community that understands how deeply traumatizing these specific scenarios are. I discovered my husband's infidelity before he was ready for me to. Best 40 bucks I ever spent, I showed up at her house and took my picture in front of his car and asked if he wanted me to knock. Needless to say he didn't. I kicked him out the next day but now he hangs his hat on I "kicked him out". He has been gone since. The few responses I did get to my rambling, Heartbroken texts were that he didn't deserve to be talked to like an asshole. But how could I talk to him as anything else? I did get the verbal affirmation that I "didn't deserve what he did to me" but it never felt complete or sincere so I still consider him to have no remorse because he shows no remorse regardless of what his words are. Other than the dull aching pain that sits in my heart every day since June 4th I think I am doing pretty well. I have ups and downs of course and the downs are still very low. But I was taken by the point you made that some women stand back and see what their husbands did as a fault within their husband's, not themselves. I claim no innocence by any means, but I KNOW I didn't deserve what he did and I am secure in that knowledge. But this creates an empathy inside of me for a person who has no empathy in return for me and I am hating that I'm still not angry but more so devastated and sad. Knowing things that he has gone through in his life make me more empathetic to the idea of the war inside of him. I don't believe he is a narcissist or a sociopath even after what he's done. He has a light that shines brighter than his darkness and I guess that I willfully ignored the darkness and placed him on a pedestal for being so good and kind. Maybe he never deserved the pedestal but he deserved loyalty and love....at the time. My struggle is loving him in spite of what he did. AND CONTINUES TO DO. He abandoned me like dirt. And I know this for a fact and I'm absolutely disgusted by his actions. But I can't shake the empathy I have for hime and I realllllllllly wish I didn't because he's been nothing but an absent, cold, shell of a person I used to admire greatly. It's like mourning a death.

I was married at a young age but for some reason he left me for someone else and we were only married for a year) i was also a step mom to his 2 kids from his first wife and she and i became good friends before she died and she said she was happy that i was her kids stepmom but than all of a sudden my husband decided to divorce me and i got nothing and i never ask for anything either) ever since this all happen this was my last and first marriage and i no longer got into another relationship it took me a very long to get over the hurt and pain and i can never trust a man again i'm single now and i am happy the way i am

I think also some people don't experience real love until much later in their lives. For me it took 33 years before I actually loved someone. Not lusted, not crushed on, not enjoyed their company, but truly understood and loved every part of them unconditionally. I'm glad that I was single when it happened, as I'm not sure what would have happened to the relationship I was in otherwise. I likely would have been another cheating statistic, or more likely would have had to break up and lose my home and anything else we had together. I thought I was 'in love' before when I'd dated other people. I knew how to be romantic, I cared about them, I found them physically attractive. I honestly thought I loved them. But real love is very very different. It feels as though you have finally come back home. To this day, I still love the same man. I don't see or speak to him, he is now married to another woman, I date other men and will marry someone else. I've accepted a life without him. But I will always love him. He is my other half, regardless of whether I'm physically with him or not. I've never met anyone else that came close and at my age that is very unlikely to happen now. I can go ages without thinking about him, then I'll have a dream or something will remind me of something he said or did and I am right back at square one. It doesn't matter who I'm with or what I'm doing. A few weeks ago I found out that his father died and I was overwhelmed with sadness and the need to comfort him, even though we aren't together. Those feelings don't change with time. It's like he took part of my soul with him when we parted ways and it's still right there with him. I hope if I do marry then I never see him again, as I would end my marriage in a heartbeat to be with him. We just belong together, as crazy at that sounds. When you know you know. Edit: And for those saying it's all about lust. I would give up sex forever to be with him, if that's what it took.

“An innocent bystander to something going on in him”

Very interesting, it's amazing how humans love 5o make things more complex. Good to see that you aren't judging, there's so much taboo and hate toward affairs and specially woman

Us women need to work on ourselves look at ourselves and say why did I choose this type of person to get involved with in a deep caring way really it comes back to us my opinion

Thank you 🙏. I bought both your books. Planet heartbreak 💔 arrived first so I’m starting with that. I’m so grateful 🥲 for finding your books and channel.

My ex left me for a new woman then left her and got a new new one... I just hate I can't find a good man

It takes 2 to tango. How can you be mad at her? When he did not respect and stay loyal to your vows. Without him there is no them. People change constantly and you have to make. Sure they are satisfied and extra content. It takes a lot of work sacrifices and compromising. You can't keep a person that doesn't want to be kept. Move on with your life get some therapy. And always remember people change.

My husband on and off with the woman. Told me they broke up then left for holiday with her lying to me. They just couldn't be apart. I now accept that they love each other. So all the best. I just have to move on now after 20years beautiful our history behind. He loved me so much and I think that makes me more sad but I cannot do anything. So I try to remove him from my life and thought. Very hard...

Ladies, ladies ...what difference does it make if he is 'happy' or 'euphoric' or having the greatest time of his life? ... The REAL Qs is is he WORTH being in YOUR Life? If your answer is NO then none of the other stuff matters. Let him enjoy his delusional life. However, if your answer is YES (he is worthy) then sadly you still have not been able to see through what he has done and what he had been doing all along. You really need to take a closer look at that. And when you do ask yourself again ... Did you deserve that? Do you deserve real Love and Loyalty? Now then, is he worthy of you?

Women always want to analyze and make things more than what they are . Here is the bottom line most men are visual. The older the women gets the more less appealing she is . Men value age and beauty.

What if you are still standing for your marriage? He, of course, insists there is nothing going on and he has his own room etc, but whether or not that it is true... he still is living at her house and that is not ok. But he still acts married to me everywhere, games, events, holidays, and he is not asking for divorce .... (he thinks I kicked him out but that isn't really true) so how do I get through this while it is very much a part of my life in a small town.

My husband left me out if the blue and left a note that he was unhappy and after 2 days he called me up that its too late and he is been cheating on me for 3 months that he knows her for 10 years they woek at the same company she is a widow 41 yrs old with 5 yr old son my husband has a nice position at that company he is 60 ywars old. I had no idea that he was unhappy he just left me with a note amd when i tried to talked to him in person he wont tell me . He just does not want to talk about it and he get mad and i have never seen him coldhsarted and act that way. My question is will they ever comeback?

So helpful 10 years on, thank you Vicki ❤

Love these videos...I just switch the gender and it's perfect advice for me 🤭

My sister has taken her own life , i found a box wuth letters and pdf's along with printed pages and pagesand pagesbof text messages. She had been in affair with a married man. Reading all the text, this man approched her on a dating site as a divorced man. I gather this went on for 6 months she found out he was married after 4 months. She was a vulnerable woman.. How many other women has he done this to ... Im trying to get intouch with his wife to make sure she knows .

It's theft period. One of the big ten. They will get what they deserve.

my sister is the other woman to a much older man and it's annoying how many excuses she has to keep the affair for 5 years. she is trying to justify that the wife probably already knows and is ready for divorce and they don't have much of a relationship....for 5 years and counting!

Sorry i dont want my exhusband or my exboyfriend back i'm done

The husband didn’t the same thing as the other woman. It’s not that she’s the devil and the husband just made a mistake. No. They’re both at fault. When someone shows you who they are believe them.

There's another woman. I'm really not mad at either of them.

What if the other woman knows about you and your husband refuses to end his marriage and refuses to end the affair?

Stop blaming the other woman!!!! That lady don’t owe u nothing BLAME YOUR HUSBAND !!

Thank you for this. 2 months ago I got a call from a woman unbeknownst to me to tell me she’s having an affair with my husband. We were on a break during this time but supposed to be true to our promise. When I hung up on her she then sent text messages proving they were indeed having a steaming hot affair. Horrible details. I’ve since chosen to work things out with him; who became sorry and desperate when I told him how I found out. But now I wonder if I’ll ever get over the anger I feel towards her. I hate her! But I don’t want to. Any advice? I’d love to hear

I'm 11 days into this mess,I need help

…I was the other woman…and I did care…but every case is different and some ladies should look at themself ….

Thank you...

You did a good job

I’m having an affair with a married man with grown children. I didn’t intend to fall in love with him, and there are many times I think about his spouse and feel bad for her. I’d never ask him to leave her because she needs him, and he know this. I want them to stay together but I can’t let him go. Some of it is sexual...some of it is friendship.

Its a waste of time

Maybe the husband knows that his mistress isn’t necessarily a “good person,” but he just desperately wants to get away from the wife.

sour grapes. you can only blame your partner for breaking your deal, not a third party.

Vickie Stark. Any kin to tony stark? (nevermind) Listen I just wanted to point out the elephant in the room that obviously you and all the women who lost their husbands to an adulterous situation. What is the elephant in the room? The fact that none of thee women were relationship material in the first place or their men would not have left them. If they were relationship material they would have kept their legs open for their men. If a woman sexually appeases a man then his body will always be ready for hers. That is what the men found in other women but will end the same way bc they are minute men. It is law that however a man begins with a woman that is how he is going to end with her. Anyway, I wrote the first book on "Sexual Perfection" that breaks down the woman's sexuality to a science. I guarantee you that what these women were doing was being contentious. This is always the natural continuum from the appropriate lack of sexual graduation, (every woman of a certain age must receive adequate sex daily) foreplay, affection and attention. A woman must be married to express her sexual wantonness in her man. But this is when the husbands become minute men and she develop sexual barriers (2) in the subconscious rebellion of being pleasured and not satisfied. A woman can pleasure herself (which is all that cunnilingus is to her body) and no one can sexually satisfy her but a man. To be honest, if a man cannot give his woman extreme pleasure and the pain that goes with those orgasms, then he really has nothing to offer her other than what any other man does. Bottomline (from my buk) is that a woman that lacks the 3 principles is doomed in every relationship from getting to her libido. It is what she is displaced from as her true position of sexual authority. "Lying" is her main fault!

but listen to this woman. she looks so sexually restraint I didn't think was possible. Bottomline if your man left you for another woman it is bc you weren't through the cow'-pole good enough1 (YEAH I SAID 8IT!) you need to carry your butt to the gym and try to release at least two of the 5 enzymes you are supposed to release during an hour of sex (which you probably never had - the lady in the question about stressin' over the fact she lost her man. that is all it is. These women's men loved another woman's p..h.le better than hers. Every woman is the same inside.