HEY, there might be some SPOILERS under the thing 3:50 Caveats 5:00 Episode Starts 7:35 Reggie Burns 8:20 Rhinestone (AKA Traci) 9:45 Ringo 10:35 Izzie 11:50 Gooba 14:55 And now the car names 21:05 The back hood 32:30 Race starts 37:50 Fact checked- raccoons really are mostly colorblind 42:05 Front window kill 48:00 A stunt in the next Fast and Furious movie 50:00 The social media presence is real 52:30 Voltron 53:20 Sprocket Raccoon, the banana-eating Frenchman 55:05 The rules are clear 56:30 Blair Herter 57:20 Meta voice 1:04:10 Sam guesses car parts 1:04:45 Clear communication is important for GMing 1:05:40 Raccoon paternity 1:09:35 Rat intimidation 1:10:40 Don’t read into it 1:13:15 Giving the fingers 1:19:10 The catching game begins 1:25:35 Sam guesses more parts 1:28:55 Secret skunk 1:33:20 Fact checked- apparently, Travis is right 1:34:40 Big Paulie 1:37:30 More racer intros 1:41:40 Sam knows what a gas cap is 1:45:05 Second race begins 1:45:55 Poor Planning 1:47:55 Izzie fixes it 1:50:20 Throwing insults 1:53:50 The dad save 1:55:00 The LAX orphan walls 1:58:40 Ringo is bad with rockets 2:01:00 Rocket jump 2:03:10 More car parts 2:04:25 Sabotage and assassins 2:13:10 Confronting Roadkill 2:18:10 The banana peel maneuver 2:20:00 Character assassination 2:25:45 Jamba Juice always finds out 2:26:50 Skunk pouch 2:28:40 I was really waiting on that impression 2:30:50 Criss cross 2:34:25 Rabies 2:36:25 Benign tentacles 2:37:30 Chicken with a plane 2:38:55 Two engines? 2:39:50 Oh right, we fixed it 2:42:10 The blowing begins 2:46:00 Everyone gets what they want 2:50:05 Adorable child Between Twitch and KZfaq, live viewership of this episode peaked around 12,000 people. Any moments I missed? Feel free to post them here. See you tomorrow

I love that Sam doesn't know the basics about cars, but knows off the top of his head roughly how much of the raccoon population is rabid.

"The car does not explode... FOR A MOMENT...AND IT DEFINITELY EXPLODES"

Sam Riegel looks like he woke up, POUNDED a cup of coffee, and was like "Let's play raccoon D&D! I'll play the auctioneer!"

"It's take-your-orphan-to-work day." was far funnier than anyone fully acknowledged.

"Greetings, fellow humans. I am a race car driver, much like yourselves. I am definitely not five raccoons in a coat."

"look for the red button!" "RED BUTTON"... Sam:, "Raccoons are color blind" "CRAP" LMAO

“I take my grappling hook..” “what the hell?? you have a grappling hook?!? I have a banana!!” i’m not even 30 mins in and i’m already dying

Watching this at 150% speed is the closest thing to cocaine I've experienced since the 1980s.

7 grown ass famous adults blowing a toy car across a finish line was the greatest thing I didn't know I needed to see

*rolls dice* "0 succeses" "That is exactly what you needed"

Ah, they're playing Crash Pandas! What a refreshing little break from the heaviness of the M9! "I'm Ringo, my cousin was brutally murdered, sending me on a self-destructive revenge rampage" Oh right, Liam's here, he brought the angst

liam : are you the top or the bottom matt, knowing exactly what he's saying and how the internet will take this : for you, I'll be the bottom

This is a perfect example that having fun is the most important thing. Sam didn’t know half the rules, they added and subtracted some of them as they went. But it was a blast because everyone was totally on board and having a good time.

Watching Matt play as a character in any form of roleplay and having to hold himself back from describing everything around him is so entertaining

"Look, I'm in a-- I'm in a bit of a pickle. Uh, I'm in a--" "You found a pickle?" "You have a pickle?!" 🦝😝🦝

11:38 “I’m not saying trash can’t get hammered, I’m just saying you can’t make little cubs that way” is such a fucking underrated line hahahaha

Sam Riegel is chaotic good in its purest form

I love how much ad-libbing goes into Sam's DMing. "I have no idea what I'm doing, this story makes no sense, let's get ridiculous, guys!". He's like a big child enthusiastically making stuff up for his best friends. This is fantastic.

"very empathetic tentacles" Now hang on, I thought Taliesin wasn't in this one.

“Nope. You were very clear about that. I’m sorry.” The delivery was perfect 😂

2:40:33 Liam: "Are you the top or the Bottom? Matt: "For you I will be the bottom!"

“I’m looking for something to kill a man” Ringo the accountant is out for blood

I think we need to appreciate that in this game Vin Diesel was a core part of not 1, but 2 people’s backstories

I love that at the very beginning Sam says flat out 'THERE AIN'T NO RULES!' because this is the most chaotic no rules just right thing I've ever seen.

Wow. That carbon monoxide hallucination bit was one of the greatest moments of improv explanation for player insanity that I’ve ever witnessed...

"Criss cross! Kill Vin Diesel!" "The guy who told you kill Vin Diesel is dead!!" *pause "ALRIGHT!! WE'RE FINE!!!"

Please God someone timestamp the part where matt mercer says "I look at this demented raccoon and think back to all the people who've screwed me over and done me wrong, and then I say okay sure" please. It's too perfect.

I’m dying because as soon as Sam starts his beginning monologue it’s like Matt is IMMEDIATELY possessed by a raccoon

I seriously spent the first hour of this game waiting for Sam to reveal that this was one of his elaborate D&D Beyond gag advertisements.

"we should trade this game for campaign 2" Matt: *"Well that makes it easier on me"*

Matt and Travis losing it when ther wives are talking= GOLD

"it's 2018 now, there are alot of interspecies relationships, you should get woke" dear god Marisha, split my sides

Sam: I don't know anything about cars. Me: that's ok. Very few people do Sam: describes Travis' character getting into the engine of a car. Me: oh.... he really doesn't... That's quite impressive...

Whoever drew their raccoon portraits is automatically amazing for somehow making Ringo look exactly like Liam! Dying laughing before game even starts :D

matt: maxine was beautiful, she had a lifestyle we had to maintain liam: notice the name starts with M marisha: HEY I FCKING LOST IT SKDNDJKSKKSK

They really missed the opportunity to use “Vin Weasel”????

“I know nothing about cars, racing, engines or tires!” Says the GM about to run a car racing RPG. Oh man this is going to be good!

I love how Vin Diesel (who voices Groot) ends up teaming up with a raccoon (who keeps using Rockets)

45:00 the tiny touch of the green fire for that camera angle on the exploded exterminator is absolutely gold. Such a small detail but it had me absolutely rolling. So good!

"He'a got a grappling hook and duct tape, he's a tinkerer!" "Why do I have a banana?!" Omg this is amazingly ridiculous.

Marisha: "Rhinestone, it's like jewels but trashier" got me bad

1:13:50 Matt: "Two in the granny one in the panty!" *Cast groans in disgust* Sam: "MERCER! This is for CHARITY!!"

I love that Marisha played an Instagram user and Laura played a Tumblr user

Gooba, Izzie, Rhinestone, and Reggie all come out of Pixar then along comes Ringo from HBO.

I've never wanted something animated more than this oneshot.

Sam's lack of car knowledge is hysterical. He described a rear-engined work van with a nitrous system and a modified exhaust.

44:58 Whoever put that green fire over the wrecked car during the live stream deserves a raise

7:19 When you see Matt making this face, you know that he is more in character playing a racoon than you ever did playing your own D&D characters.

1:19:10 why do I get the feeling this was just an excuse to throw things at Matthew Mercer?

Okay, for all that Sam's playing the "I don't know what i"m doing" card, 1:29:43 is a freaking masterful "...welp, THAT went weird, let's dial it back some" level of GMing. A+ work, Sam

Everyone leaning in together and blowing air all over eachother is so deeply pre-covid

As a brand new Critter I'm working through the oneshots and Good GOD this was fucking chaos... My stomach hurts from laughing so much and I have fallen even further in love with these dorks.

Show idea, Sam talking about things he doesn't know about. A Brief Explanation with Emmy Award Winner Sam Riegel.

This one-shot absolutely reaffirmed my affection for Marisha and Sam. Sam's a comedic genius for running such an insane fun and entertaining story where giggle fits took priority Marisha for giving into the humour and laughing like a maniac. I'm so used to her playing Beau that this was amazingly refreshing.

Blair when he has to seduce the old lady: "It's still Sam, you know what I mean? How do you guys do this?" Liam: "It's really not a problem for me."

Guy on motorcycle: “I’m oka-“ *gets hit by rocket and dies*

"Back hood" is Sam's "Reverse Math" moment.

1:11:13 Holy shit, Matt put some real strength into that line. It just shows how much fun games like these can just have some amazing moments.

not enough people are acknowledging how accurate liam's raccoon growl was

This was absolute chaos from beginning to end, nothing made sense, Sam was like a kid tweaking out on a sugar high..... and I loved every single second of it lmfao.

Liam’s quiet “It’s really not a problem for me” when Blair/Baldpaw is talking about how uncomfortable it is to rp getting intimate with Sam at 😂😂😂 Edit: 1:14:50

Im so painfully aware that Sam is the only one not drunk and I kind of love it because he may as well be.

I love how amazingly quickly and heavily Matt gets into his character. When Sam started and the rest were still relaxed, Matt already got his face and mannerisms into his character there and then, and mostly doesn't seem to break character thereafter that much (even between time when he doesn't necissarily need to semi-constantly hold his character). Holy shit Matt is good at what he does!!

In this game I learned that Vin Diesel is a furry and Matthew Mercer is a bottom.

"2 in the Granny, 1 in the Fanny." Damn you, Mercer, that about killed me.

KZfaq decided to make this video the first Critical Role content I've ever seen. I'm in.

matt's face was so red for the entire game from laughing so hard. im pretty sure they all cried from laughter at least once.

"Two in the Granny, one in the panty" Sweet innocent mercer, what happened to you?

Sam is the best GM--he just says yes to everything that will make the game more awesome

I appreciate that Sam appears to have raided his kids' toy chest for props 😂

"It's 2018, there is a lot of inter species relationships. You should.." [Travis laughs and drowns out Marisha] "I'm not saying that trash can't be hammered, i'm saying you can't make cubs that way". How does he just come up with that!?

It's always so sweet to see how serious/excited Mercer gets about getting to be a player! :D

This is the greatest thing I've ever watched! The fact that Sam hardly knew what was going on, the complete lack of car knowledge, and the randomness of being raccoons and the random items they all had at the beginning made for a hilariously chaotic one-shot.

This one-shot has exactly the same energy as me and my sister sitting on a floor playing with action figures when we were kids and I couldn't be happier with it.

27:54 Matt literally said “I can certainly try”

I love absolutely everything about this one-shot but Sam's non-existent knowledge of cars had me in stitches pretty much the entire time. Quite sure “FRONT WINDOW?! I don’t even know the word ‘windhield’!” is the best sentence I have ever heard and I will cherish that memory forever :")

It's a shame Matt can't play more often. His acting in this episode is incredible

You're in LA. Everyone: New York accent 😅🤣

Vin Diesel must be the special guest for the next Crash Pandas.

We need more of Matt as a player!

Marisha plays the Valley Girl part SO FREAKIN WELL that I honestly just didn’t recognize her at all.

I think we all need to send good thoughts (and money) to Grant Howitt, because thanks to his one page games, we got this magnificent moment of mayhem (and also the 3 Honey Heist one-shots)

26:23 ‘YOU HAVE A GRAPPLING HOOK?!?.... I HAVE A BANANA...’ 😂🤣

I love how Sam being a GM it's like playing Make Belief when you were 9. Well, I guess that's tabletop RPGs, right?

“LOOK DOE THE RED BUTTON!!!!” “RACCOONS ARE COLOR BLIND!!!!!” I can’t lmao.

I cant believe that Liams Racoon is instantly recognizable as Liam

I love how Matt’s character has a twitching eye. Such nice attention to detail.

1:00:26 "Got a lot of friends that don't actually exist, so I've learned to... love everyone" is possibly the best one-liner I've ever heard.

I hope that Matt watches the ping pong ball section again just to see how much Travis was messing with him. :P

"And our last racer...this guy on a motorcycle!!" Why is that so funny to me????

21:05 "Back hood" is Sam's "Reverse Math".

Liam goes straight homicidal in one shots xD

I love the moments when Mercer gets super into character and excited about something. Then he attempts to regain composure but immediately gets excited again.

How did I only now realize, that every married couple within CR is present (yes, also Sam and Liam)

"c) Oh shit I didn't write the correct answer" is the only correct answer from now on

watching laura lose her mind cause of laughing so hard at 2:42:40 is just amazing. ive watched it so many times

I have watched this 3 times now & Ringo is still my favorite introduction. Mainly because the voice Liam chose felt the most natural to the character portrait.

This was the funniest thing that I have seen in a long time. I would be so down for a Crash Pandas cartoon.

Welcome to Sam Riege's Crash Pandas where the everything's made up and the points don't matter. ;) These one-shots are so much fun. This one had me laughing so hard. Thanks for putting this together Sam!