Florida Man burns down wheat fields using pack of flaming foxes as retaliation of his former fiancee being auctioned off at their wedding

Florida Man breaks free of bondage ropes, kills home invaders

Strange beings hanging around childless couples distributing promises of super strong babies is not a basis for a valid pregnancy test

I have been a christian for Years, and not once has anyone said "samson, like a morbid Winnie the Pooh." Highlight of my year tbh

At least Samson used Firefox instead of I.E.

Just a minor correction: Biblical angels did not look scary as Hell. They were scary as Heaven

As a christian who has heard this story many times in church (and with many of the finer details glossed over) i really enjoyed hearing it retold in your style!

Showed this to my dad (he teaches religion at a catholic high school), he saved it to show to his students. You're always such an engaging storyteller, love this channel!

I've always wondered if Samson thought that cutting his hair would actually sap his strength. He had, after all, not been GREAT at keeping the Nazerite vows, and things hadn't changed for him. I think he knew this was closer than any of the crap he had told Delilah up to this point, but I'm not sure he thought this would work either. Turns out, though, that if you arrogantly assume you are invulnerable, one of these days, at least in the world of this story, the one giving you the strength might decide to withdraw his support.

I love how quickly this escalates

"But the hair on his head began to grow again." The story was about how Samson lived his life recklessly and constantly failed to keep his Nazarite vows, and how God forgave and kept him strong despite his shortcomings.

Some say Samson didn't give any fox, but he certainly did. *Badadumsh!*

Samson, the original D&D barbarian.

this sounds uncannily like a bad DnD adventure, especially when the barbarian Samson kills 30 innocent villagers

Who in the hell threw flaming foxes into our wheat feilds?! 😂

Apparently that song has an alternate translation, since heap sounds a lot like donkey in Jewish. Which would make it go like this; With a donkey’s jawbone I have made donkeys of them. With a donkey’s jawbone I have killed a thousand men. Which has the added benefit of rhyming.

This is seriously my favorite telling of this story. You really nailed the absolute weirdness of the story... good lord.

A good telling 👍 I actually have really strong feelings about Sampson's story, because as a kid it was definitely pitched to me as "holy super strength, isn't that cool?" But it's definitely included in scripture as part of a running list of judges who were the absolute worst and failed at every part of their job. Definitely blew some kids minds when I taught a bunch of students what Sampson actually did.

It’s interesting to see a bible story told from a perspective like this. So far you’ve done a good job respecting the source material and those who genuinely believe it (as I do), while still adapting the story to your style, and I can’t help but congratulate you on that. Well done again.

Not once did Samson think “gee, why do all the Philistines keep coming in once I’ve been tied up. Strange how that keeps happening.” Yes Samson that is strange. Very strange

You missed the part where he's hauling those city gates around.

As a raised Catholic, I've never heard this story and it is BUCK WILD! Also, as Samson killed SO many people, why would he stay with Delilah if she is CLEARLY trying to kill him. Dale: "You know" 😉

Ahhh...Bible stories. They're so inspiring, uplifting and down right wholesome! Fun for the whole family!

It's so easy to forget how messed up the Samson story is. Nicely told.

"...we know..."

Loved this retelling, lots of humor. Fun fact, in Old Testament times Names had power, and if the angel told his name then Sampson's parents would think they had power over the angel (I guess to summon him at will or something). So the angel essentially scolds them for asking and doesn't tell them.

Love that murder song. Classic Samson. Lol.

Always interesting to see the differences between the King James version and the original Hebrew text :P

And they say the Bible isn't applicable nowadays: they have a lesson about not being a simp, people!

Samson & Delilah is just one of many bizarre stories relayed in the book of Judges. And it is by no means even the most depraved by our contemporary sensibilities. As a youth i read Judges as a weird assortment of morbid tales that never seemed to quite make a larger narrative. When i went back & read it again as an adult, after i had a few decades behind me to screw up my life in, Judges possessed thunderbolt clarity! The pages screamed the underlying theme of all the f*@% up shit that happens when every one is a law unto themselves, "doing right" in their own eyes. Yet it also is already foreshadowing the coming experience, where under the rule of kings everything would still be just about the same; because instead of each man "doing right" by his own inner guide, he will be "doing right" according to the whim of the king. But hey, it's all good, because, either way we're all still "doing right". Right? No chance of things ending in this day & age like they ended up in Judges! Right? :P Dael, TY so much for your retelling of this one! Loved it! :)

If I had my way... I would tear this whole building down

I'm pretty sure lion-carcass honey isn't vegan. Not even vegetarian.

Your story telling is as remarkable as ever. You have such a flare for this, and you are getting prettier and prettier.

Bonus points for the Scott Pilgrim reference =D

I love how insane this mythology is compared to the others I've seen from you. Christianity FTW!

Forget super strength, where can I get some of these magic bees that can build a hive and make a bunch of honey in two days?

Now, I can't stop thinking of Brandon Routh politely asking for someone's daughter's hand in marriage, only with blood-covered hands and lion's guts on his shirt.

I would say that killing someone would definitely count as touching a corpse. Though I am more interested in why the bees thought that a lion carcass was a good home. That's some surprising similarities to the story of Aristaeus.

Great video! Sampson/Todd the vegan superpower evil X. 😂😂😂 I think it’s important to note here too that Sampson didn’t lose his Demi god strength because his hair was cut, it was because a series of bad choices that lead him to that point. I mean he was told what he could and couldn’t do and he explicitly screwed off and did all the things he was told not to do. God set that final boundary like “BRUH I DUN TOLD YOU 3 FRRRRRRIGGIN TIMES!”

Musical comedian Tim Hawkins sings his version of "Hey There Delilah" where he tells this story.

I'm pretty sure the 'no touchy corpse' rule only applies to human corpses.. But then I don't understand how he can murder 30 people ... Anyways, ripping apart a lion is fine.. it's TOTALLY fine, well adjusted.. completely fine.

This is the best thing every, sharing to every friend, all seven of them

Always fun to hear your spin on stories I know.

Yay!! I love your videos. Having my breakfast and coffee with this. Thank you!

Man I love an in focus background Blurry Dale FTW

Now i got to reread this thank you for this awsome video i could listen to u telling stories all day.

You should do more of these mythology vids. You have a knack for it.

I love the image of Samson doing all this killing with super-long hair. I mean, he's at least 35 by the end, so his hair probably drags on the ground like a Heracles-Rapunzel hybrid.. Unless he keeps his hair trimmed by burning the ends. hrmmm...

Awesome! Thanks so much. Just read that bit in Scripture recently. Your vid really helped get behind it all! :)

I've always found the slaying of 1000 men with the jawbone of an donkey (ass) the hardest part of the story of Samson to believe. Think about it. He's just killed 990 men, you'd think the last ten or so would have the sense to run.

that was bloody hilarious, gj

So, okay, are we certain that Samson isn’t like related to, or some kind of allegory for, a Greek demigod? Cause he sure shows the emotional maturity of a demigod. I had heard some of the story previously (admittedly through Pinky and the Brain), but damn, Samson is . . . something else XD Great story!

Yay for stories! As a Christian, I don't believe that this qualifies as mythology, but hearing you tell a story from the Bible was an unexpected treat. (P.S. I think it took more than a few days for the bees to establish their hive and produce the honey.)

I had to look up that little song, and it's slightly cooler in Hebrew :P (just going with Israeli Hebrew) "bilchi hachamor, chamor chamoratayim; bilchi hachamor, hiketi 'elef 'ish" where "chamor" is both "donkey" and "heaps/piles", so he's even throwing some wordplay in there, just to be extra weird :P

Yes. Touching a corpse you killed counts.

Man. I did not know what I was missing with this story. Are all bible stories this wild?

I love that Samson was super-strong and apparently also invulnerable, capable of tearing a lion apart with his bare hands and yet he felt the need to take that donkey's jawbone to arm himself despite it being completely unnecessary.

Dael really should replace most boring story tellers, those mannerismes are supreme

"...... we know.... we know" ajajajjajaj ah we need more humans like this in americas school system

You've got to love Old Testament logic.

Now I understand why people said you missed a Firefox joke.

0:16, "it is a bonkers story" is religion, and most stories told within, in a nutshell.

I imagine the story of Samson’s story was passed through oral tradition, because I feel that something if not a lot of things were lost in translation xD cause this story is just batshit crazy lol

I feel I need to say, as a matter of course, that Biblical stories usually portray totally human people being totally human. You know how we slag off at Zeus for sleeping around and Hera for punishing the girls he slept with? Bible stories are usually the same sort of events, but not committed by gods, but by normal humans. Humans - even ones who served God - could do things in honour of God, but then turn around and do something totally crappy - see the tale of King David sending a guy to the front line of a war just so David could sleep with the guy's wife. So yeah, Bible stories are morality tales. Lots of mythology and folklore is moral tales. Biblical tales tend to be "This person served God, but did something dumb, and bad resulted, but when they returned to being faithful to God, good happened to them".

I learnt that Samson was into bondage I feel this is best way to start my day

My mother told me and my brother this story.

Dael's Str: ? Str required to tear a goat: 14 Str required to tear a lion: 18 maybe? Heracles' Str: 22

So many bible stories are perfect for a hardcore fantasy campaign.

Love the Scott pilgrim reference

Hahaha, love the Scott Pilgrim reference

Yay! Scott Pilgrim references!!!

"We know..."

Do a video on Alexander and Hepheastion please!

Bloody hell, he was a maniac.

Genia

"I'm sure that this will go down well."

Modern Archeology has discovered that our general use of Philistines as degenerates, or savages, or low cultured is very effective biblical propaganda. The Philistines were some of the most advanced, cultured, and articulate people in that region during the time of Samson.

Does anyone here remember that old cartoon about this story from the show “stories from the Bible.” Lolol

scary as heaven*

Well done w this underrated and weird little story. With his riddles and his taunting songs and his modified weapons, this guy is a tavern brawling barbarian bard for real. Dude always talking shit. Killing his enemies and yet the daughters of his enemies still be wanting some of that action. Rips a lion apart. Rips away city gates... Dude had a minus in wisdom, but a fuck ton of charisma. It’s the best of biblical mythology imo. I only don’t really buy being deceived by Delilah four times-I mean could he not see the pattern?! What an idiot. But a bossy fucked up one. Went out like a champ

Very catchy! 😂

How i will cast revivify if i cant touch a dead body?

I'm curious about Firefly: The Game...

this story just seven random stories all rolled in to one

Hilarious 😂

No chance, no way I won't say it no no! ....

The word for corpse means that of a human

Wow why do you want to tear apart goats so badly.

Samson sounds like he had some serious problems.

We need to know more about Samson's bear-hands! Were they furry? Did they have claws???

Why just "hello humans"? What about dwarves and halflings? U.U

when you realize that Sampson is supposed to be the good guy

Realy enjoy the audio of your videos. But for the love of all things holy in ancient greece: please fix the focus of your camera. I always feel like I forgot to put on my glasses when watching your videos :/

I don't think much of this story was left out when I heard it as a kid. Everyone was quite clear that Samson was a mass murderer; they just always told the story with the implication that all that killing was somehow a good thing. I was probably age 5 or so. I was told a few years ago some vague thing about how Samson's story is somehow borrowed from Greek mythology. Is there anything to that?

Wait...why did he let her tie him up? And what is with all these jars of mayonnaise?!

On the subject of what exactly counts as "touching a corpse"...Let's say you eat a steak, does that count?

I love how absurd these are. Like, if one were to write a story like this nowadays, it would get 1 star on Goodreads, tops.

Please do all the Bible stories. Hahahaha.

"Chicken isn't vegan?" LOL

You don't happen to just want to move to Germany apropos of nothing and marry a guy you've never met but who you happen to make laugh a lot, would you? I mean it'd be very fitting, sounds like a fairy tale if I ever heard one. Although I hope it wouldn't end that badly. :'D