Once, I read a post bout self-care. it says "Sometimes self-care is a massage or a cup of coffee, and sometimes it's doing what's best for everybody."

I see ‘self care’ as looking after my future self. A bit like: ‘doing the dishes in the evening so that my morning self can wake up to a calm space’ or ‘eating healthy food and exercising so that my future self enjoys a healthy body.’

I’ve found that “self-care” often means doing things that don’t feel good. Often, felt care doesn’t mean “treating myself,” it means forcing myself to eat a vegetable when I want to gorge myself on cookies because I know how it will make me feel after. It means forcing myself to talk to people when I’d rather hermit, and forcing myself to walk around the block when I want to just watch TV. Of course it’s also important to do things that make you feel good, but really taking care of yourself is often uncomfortable.

Too much of a good thing is a bad thing. Balance in all things in life is always the way to go

True self-care is difficult and doesn't have to cost any money: - sleeping well - eating healthy - exercising regularly - personal hygiene - keeping your living space clean and free of stressful clutter - making sure screen time doesn't take over your life - nurturing your interpersonal relationships and spending quality time with loved ones - avoiding harmful substances and habits All the trendy, expensive indulgences can be nice in moderation if they help you relax but definitely shouldn't be the mainstay of your self-care. Taken to an extreme, they can become the opposite of self-care because they'll take away from the time you should be spending on other important health habits and can lead to overspending which can be a source of stress.

Self-care is the new “minimalism” in media

No one: Matt: let's calendar block Thursdays @ 3pm for "emotional break downs"

Investing in spa and beauty treatments isn't exactly self care. That's actually pampering. Self care is setting boundaries, meditation, affirmations, attending therapy, expressing yourself through the arts, asking for help, not giving up on yourself and validating your feelings while still being open minded of others feelings 💕. (This is just my opinion only)

To me, self-care should never be about prioritizing yourself above all else at all times. That's just selfishness. But it _is_ about prioritizing yourself enough that you don't feel resentful and drained, and you actually have the energy and mental capacity to be there for other people. I do think setting boundaries is an extremely important piece of advice though. Because I know a lot of people, myself included, have struggled with "white knight syndrome", in both friendships and romantic relationships, where you latch onto these toxic, chronically unhappy or otherwise problematic people and fight desperately to save them, at the expense of your own happiness, and oftentimes it's with people who are utterly unreceptive and unwilling to get better, so not only is it exhausting but it's also frustrating and fruitless. And that's where boundaries are really important. Maybe it sounds brutal, but I think we should feel less guilty about cutting people out of our lives. But also, don't sink into that new age toxic positivity thing of thinking that anyone who ever complains or is unhappy about anything is automatically "toxic", because that's just wrong. Suppressing all emotions that you perceive as "negative" and dismissing them as toxic traits is incredibly problematic.

Stop social media, stop reading the news, reach out to real people, go out in nature and watch what you eat. It will help your anxiety and calm down and doesn't cost you any money. I did and it's like a weight off my shoulders the size of a mountain.

I am following the cheap version of self-care routine, walking in nature, meditation, listening to people who inspire me, and I don't spend a penny on the so called ''self-care'' products! We can ''self-care'' ourselves even without spending our salary on it! take my word for it! xx

I literally just typed a entire post about this and deleted it because I thought it might offend some people but your point is correct. In my context (church) the pandemic has caused a lot of people to prioritize self-care over community. The problem is that these same people also lament that when they are going through a life crisis, they feel that nobody is there for them. Relationships are like gardens, they take time and effort to cultivate if you are going to reap of it's harvests and when confronted with this essential truth, many people are just not willing to put in the work. It's a problem...

Someone needs to paint Matt in a bedsheet eating grapes and call it "self care".

I have a narcissist mother and a deep fear of becoming her. I also almost never practice self-care or self-love because I don't think I deserve it. This video title made me actively jump back.

Self care and altruism has an interesting relationship! In my experience, people-pleasers often put their own self care on the backburner to help others - but this just leads to a lack of boundaries, burnout, and resentment in the end, which is not the desired outcome at all! While it might seem self centered to tend to your own needs first, self care is what allows you the space you need to be at your best, for yourself and for others. Everything in moderation, of course :)

Two rules for life: 1) Always improve and try to be the best version of yourself (Even if the best version of yourself is simply the happiest version of yourself) 2) Being the best version of yourself does not make you better than other people.

When I was a teen my self care was to go stay at my Grandmas to help her do chores. Garden work, canning, weeding, dusting perfectly clean furniture and vacuuming the cleanest floors I ever saw lol. I still feel lifted thinking about that now.

This is a great video. One thing I’ve noticed with a lot of people who value self care over all else is that they seem to value individualism without knowing it. Many of the people who value their self care the most usually talk about the evils of capitalism, and advocate for socialism/communism, but hold no real community values or goals. Almost everything they do is focused on themselves, almost with a disgust for the idea of an ethical commitment to ones community. I’ve never gone so far as to call them narcissists because I’m not sure how that may correlate with the psychiatric definition/diagnosis, but it’s very nice to see I’m not the only one who has recognized this, especially with gen z. (Not making a comment on capitalism/socialism/communism, just stating the irony of being an individualist and a socialist. Likely just reveals that in these instances the true desires for those political systems don’t stem from the philosophies that underlie them)

Hi Matt! I am a pelvic floor physical therapist and just wanting to point out that "poop stools" can actually be medically beneficial for someone having difficulty with completing a bowel movement. It actually helps with pelvic floor health! So if this is you please seek help from a pelvic floor PT and know it's ok to us a "poop stool" ;) Just wanted to throw that out there!

The difference between loving yourself and being in love with yourself

About "speaking your truth" there's a brazilian proverb that goes: "those who say whatever they want, hear whatever they don't want".

I’ve been hearing a lot of people say things like “I’m going to be more selfish” or advise others to “be selfish” and that is the wrong message. We should absolutely care for our mental, physical and spiritual health but we shouldn’t be constantly putting ourselves before others that we forget to nurture our relationships or how to care for others. When has someone ever thought about someone else and said to themselves “wow I love how selfish they are 😍”?

THANK YOU so freaking much!!! You don't even know how much stress this takes off my break when it comes to being a content creator, I'm almost in tears knowing that I can finally post my videos with a peace of mind of ME not constantly judging myself over the numbers. Once again THANK YOU!!!!

*“Reduce the complexity of life by eliminating the needless wants of life, and the labors of life reduce themselves.” - Edwin Way Teale*

I’m glad someone is finally talking about this. I feel like this and people’s “mental health” is honestly becoming buzzwords and crutches. Mental health and self care is important but it can go too far and actually become a detriment.

It depends on what's your ultimate motivation behind self-care. I care for myself so I can be there for others. And because I want to unite. Not live in my own self-bubble. But in order to do that I first have to be there for me. Just look into the forest. An animal is ALWAYS going to take care of herself first and only then goes out for others.

I remember seeing a post on Reddit about self care, it said something like; ‘ Bubble baths, and the things you commonly see put under the label of self care, are not self care, they are self indulgence. Self care is making sure you eat vegetables, even when you don’t want to’ .

As a therapist, I really appreciate this video and the thoughtful approach to self care!

The way narcissism is used here bothers me a bit because someone who is narcissistic has a mental disorder built into them from trauma in early childhood. Normal people don't just become narcissistic by practicing self-care, they'll always have that empathy factor kicking in. I'd wager it's the other way around, narcissists are ruining our understanding and execution of what it means to do self-care by selling us products that really have nothing to do with self-care.

I’ve been thinking about this concept for a while, and it often pushed me away from the “self care” industry as a whole. I’m so glad to see this type of content popping up, as I’m hopeful it’ll spark the necessary conversations. Great stuff!!!!

Thank you Matt and the team for this extension. It's going to make a massive positive impact on my mental health and I'm sure it will do for so many other creators too!

I really don't like what these things have turned into. Self-care is essential. It doesn't mean we stop thinking about others. It's supposed to be "love"

Carefully written, with an active community... that's why I love Matt's videos. I did practise self-care a few years ago, and it helped me a lot. But then the media started to complicate "self-care" and it somehow went too far. After taking care of yourself, you need to keep nurturing your core relationships such as family and partners instead of staying inside your bubble. I love how Matt brought this up, how an addiction of a good practice can lead to something we never thought we have signed up for. I'm already looking forward for the next video!

Matt be speaking the truth, keepin it real raw and authentic and setting boundaries to what real self-care means.

Finally! A video that dares to look deeper into this. "Self care nowadays has been twisted into this endless pursuit of comfort and self-gratification." Super on point.

Matt, I LOVE this! I think every person needs to watch this video. You really packed so much into such a short video.

"Without empathy and community engagement, even the best self-care practices will be ineffective." The heart of it. I know more than a few people who have been practicing what they call self-care without any accountability within themselves and/or care for those around them. I hope this video goes viral.

I added the extension goodbyemetrics and man this is liberating, thank you so much for this 🙏🙏🙏

Great that you addressed to this issue. Amazingly explained. The world is falling into the trap of “love yourself” slogan without understanding the meaning of it. You have really hit on point. 🙏🏻👍

I totally needed this video !!! I was planning on starting my KZfaq channel and this entire week I've been doing nothing but checking all the metrics of other creators and calculating a whole bunch of stuff instead of actually creating and focusing on what I wanna put out there. Thanks for making this video Matt !!! More power to you :)

Amazing initiative Matt. I’ll be giving the tool a shot! The ranking of your most recent video amongst the last 10 videos is probably the metric that affects my mood the most!

downloading this extension today... as a content creator here i find myself constantly checking analytics and it has affected my mental health. thank you!

Why is always things you say something I’ve been thinking but not being able to put into words yet, love it!! ❤️

I love all your videos but this is the best thing I've watched in a long time. I've been thinking this for a while something didn't add up in the self care world and you hit the nail on the head!

Setting boundaries to respect our needs and being insensitive to others are two very different things. Putting them in the same basket as "narcissistic behaviour" is very unhelpful to everybody. Plus, narcissism is actually a psychological disorder and we should stop using the term so lightly, just as we shouldn't call someone "depressed" or "bipolar". Narcissistic people have a disorder and suffer because of it.

Amazing extension dude. What an amazing thought and well executed also. You are the real MVP

Been thinking this for a while - it's refreshing to see a KZfaq vid about it. Thanks Matt!

Thank you. I'm tired of this "me me me" mentality. Taking care of yourself is important, but so is taking care of others.

bruh i love this extension. its gonna help so many youtube content creators!

This video is so much needed. I also observed something similar when I see all those self care posts on social media and change in behavior of people close to me when they follow them blindly. I mean it completely changed them and not in a good way. Thank you so much Matt for making this video, now I have something to show them to prove I was right about it all along. 😅😂😂

What a vital message for this time and age. Keep creating we love to see it!

Really thankful for the extension ❤️

Thank you for this video, you clearly communicated a lot of things people might already be suspicious of. Some of the self-care advice out there is just sugar-coated “isolate yourself.” There is a difference between keeping yourself and your relationships healthy and fixing your bad habits with products and instantly blocking everyone who doesn’t agree with you 100%.

Matt thank you so much for creating the metrics blocker! It's going to change my life 💕

I like these essay-type videos. it's a nice variety by getting truthful about whats underneath the surface of ppls lifestyles.

I have a feeling this will go viral. You did such a great job with this 👏🏼

Someone needed to say this!! Self care can be as simple as sitting at a park or playing with your pets. It doesn't have to involve money!!

My gosh, the quality of the a-roll (is that even what it's called anymore?) is UNREAL. Also props to you for making a video on a topic that may be a bit controversial.

Dude, everyone needs to hear this (including me)! Thank you 🙏🏻

Thank you for bringing this up! It is really important

My man always deliver! Love the "fucks given" part, and most of all, really nice conclusion about the importance of the community in all this ego-trend. And congratulations on the new extension, brilliant idea!

Great video, Matt! Your work is amazing! Congrats for the goodbymetrics idea. This is going to help a lot of creators. I'm sure of that.

It's really great to see a vlogger mature over years. Thank you for what you do.

After all these years following you, it's always the same pleasure to discover your weekly video. Thanks Matt

When the wrong people leave your life, the right things start.

Self care in a whole new perspective - YES- Self care is taking care of yourself so that you can take care of others around you. Its similar to wearing your own mask and then help others in state of flight emergency.

I'm not even a creator but even after just a few minutes of using your tool has my youtube experience gotten better and i dont stoped looking for views to judge how good the video would be. This paired together with Distraction Free YT makes KZfaq so much more enjoyable. Thanks Matt and keep up the awesome work!

That "Goodbye Metrics" extension sounds like it could *very* helpful. Great idea + thanks for making it available for free :) Great video!

The only reason why I practice self-care/spiritual wellness is because it helps me with my mental health issues. Without yoga/meditation etc, I’d probably be dead or on huge bender.

loved this!

Thank you for always educating us Matt. You don’t know how much this means to us! 😊

Dude, long time I hadn’t seen any of your videos for some reason or another and it’s great to see how they keep evolving. Amazing quality productions.

Very good point!! In the paßt years ive noticed people cancel more on me because of self care and hurting me and other friends while doing so. In the long run their relationships did and will suffer. Its sad. Also matt i hope you are okay you Look a little tired

As an indigenous medicine practitioner in my community, our spiritual practices continue to be marketed as “self-care” tools from now mainstream online creators and companies. I wish those who use white sage without proper teaching use it with respect as many of us indigenous communities in the States continue to lose access to these sacred plants as they become more popular in places such as Whole Foods or Urban Outfitters while use of these sacred items and practices were outlawed from 1883 till 1994. I understand you are trying to be funny but it continues to perpetuate the idea that practices such as smudging, especially with white sage, are New Age or trendy self care products while sacred plants, materials, and practices from many POC groups continue to be inaccessible or used in malpractice today.

That extension is NEEDED! Just hearing that exists gave me a relief .. 🙏🏼

Thanks a ton for the extension Matt. As a KZfaq creator, I know it will help me a ton!!!

Matt, this is genius. Goodbyemertrics, fuck yes. I wish we had this for all apps!

There is definitely some truth to this

This topic is very important and not spoken about enough. Well done.

Be firm, but not rude. -daily stoic. Caring too much for how someone thinks of their importance, the less they are being empathetic of other. Very true, Matt. Thank you very much.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately.

Due to the pandemic, lack of resources and crises in some parts of the world has made lots of people jobless and the financial status of some families aren't okay & this leading to increase in crime rate in our society.

I really like the concept of the google extension that you created for KZfaq creators. Thanks for sharing!

This has been on my mind for a while, I got into the whole self care thing for a while and a lot of it online is about about being conceited and vain, like actually saying that you're conceited as a positive thing. Not focusing on myself so much like what you're talking about in this video, focusing on community and reading philosophy has actually been so helpful and good for my soul lol I feel more grounded and chill

Brutal honesty without empathy or consideration for others seemed awesome when I watched the Breakfast Club in junior high. I have hopefully matured since.

Matt: “Unless you live in a cave you should give a few f*cks” Me who lives in a cave: 🖕

Thank you for all the effort you put into this impactful video. It's such an important perspective! If we want the world to be a better place, we need to start taking the focus off ourselves 👍

As a person who works with social media this extension feels incredibly liberating! 💛

Very interesting topic! I guess everything is really great in moderation. Keep up the great work Matt! I love how much your videos really make me think and reevaluate my own life/actions.

Had to comment again- the squatty potties or poop stools are also incredible for people with chronic illness. I have pelvic floor dysfunction and using a device like that makes going to the bathroom less difficult. Some of the self-care stuff you are making fun examples of are necessary medical devices for others! -sharing this all with good will in hopes of sharing the disabled perspective.

Matt, this IMO is your best work. So good. So timely, thanks for this! Helps not only me, but also helps me understand people in my circle who are being absorbant w/ "self-care"

I just wanted to thank you so much for the chrome extension! I personally have hated having to look at all the numbers whenever I wanted to go into youtube studio. As much as we like to tell ourselves that we don't care about the numbers, if we can see them, we are going to care about the numbers.

That word reminds people who have been abused by narcissists about them. I find it weird people use it so lightly. Maybe self absorbed? Narcissists cause real damage and self care doesn't turn us into shitty toxic human being like real narcs are. Just letting you know.

Poop stools I actually totally get. Getting into a squatting position is so much more comfortable to poop.

I like how this video is focused on solutions rather than problems. A lot of "self-help" content makes it seem like your life and habits are problematic and need to be fixed, which I find really toxic. But this is so free of judgement and I'm here for it :)

Going through a nasty separation from a narcissist and their parents myself, I cannot thank you enough for using your platform to spread this much needed message. Thank you

I'm already a narcissist, so that ship has sailed lol (I just like myself as I am and it seems like society discourages that so that people will buy more crap to "fix" themselves). I do agree that equating self care with spending money is unhealthy though. Overworking people to the point where they feel like they need self care and then selling them overpriced, unnecessary and unsustainable crap that negatively effects their finances and the environment at large is another insidious marketing tactic.

if you think about it, self-care is a form of community work... if you do it right, of course. If it makes you a narcissist, you're probably doing it wrong and being fooled by the industry :)

Commenting solely because I saw some negative comments regarding semantics - as a person with anxiety who emphasizes self-care AND has been in a relationship with a psychiatric definition of a narcissist…I get the nuance and I totally loved this video. It’s not for everyone but just know that some of us recognize the subtleties of what you’re expressing. Will be sending this video to several friends! Great job.

Such a great video Matt! We tend to just jump head first into these type of things as opposed to carefully implementing things into our lives.