My psychiatrist basically said the same thing. I brought it up on a regular check up after I've been furiously combing through the internet for a week straight and doing all of the tests I could find. I found that I can relate to both official medical descriptions of autism as well as lived experiences of autistic people and, apparently like many others, I seeked official stamp of approval that I'm not crazy. She discouraged me from seeking an official diagnosis because I didn't plan on using it to get help from institutions where I'd need an official diagnosis and because people are still very prejudiced against autistic people, or, more broadly, against people who are in any way related to psychiatry (especially in my country). She's currently treating me for depression, and I'm seeing a psychologist to, essentially, improve my executive functions. In relation to the prejudice against psychiatry, she told me that diagnosis of depression can be voided (should I get better OR should it be an issue when applying for a job) while ASD, being neurodevelopmental disorder can not. So, in essence, the only benefit I'd get would be an official validation of my experiences, to which she told me:"You experience the world the way you do and that's something personal. You don't really need an official diagnosis to validate that. People who respect you will acknowledge your experiences without a diagnosis and those who don't respect you will dismiss you even if you had an official diagnosis". And I think that's a quite nice perspective.

I value honesty, and don’t feel I have the right to flatly say “I’m autistic” without confirming it’s true. Until then, I rely on qualifiers like “I suspect...” or “I have reason to believe...”

Hi, fellow aspie from russia here, with a scary story. Our psychiatry is in a horrible state. I was warned things can go horribly wrong if I try to get help. Heard about really bad experiences. Despite that, I decided to try, at least to solve social anxiety. I regretted my decision instantly. The evaluation process was short and pretty far from professional. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and, I kid you not, a half of existing personality disorders, for ridiculous farfetched reasons, yet they somehow failed to address my actual complaints. It was as stupid as "You once said you don't have "energy", that's magical thinking, so you must have a schizotypal pd. You also said you're irritable, that's borderline pd." and so on. Literally. They told my SO "it's probably too late, it's only going to worsen from now on" and I should be put in asylum for good, plus they won't give me any meds unless I do so. When I said I don't agree with the diagnosis and they might really want to find another explanation, they laughed straight into my face and basically brushed it off as delusions. After the diagnosis they started to treat me like I wasn't even a human anymore. I mean, what the hell, even if they were right, schizophrenics don't deserve that attitude! Me and my SO walked away furious and never came back. From what I've heard, it's a very common experience for people on the spectrum all across the country, and sometimes outside of it. There maybe are a few young and "progressive" specialists out there, who *maybe* can spot adult autism, but they're hard to find and expensive, not everyone can afford that. As someone who genuinely wants professional help, I hate to say this, but I have enough problems in my life, and I'm sure others do, too. Self-help works good enough for me. Pardon my rant, but people who seek for diagnosis might as well want to be aware of stuff like this and take it into consideration. I don't want to discourage anyone, but please, be careful. TL;DR: "Hello, I think I have ASD and I thought you might he-" "Jesus christ, you're goddamn schizo psychopath! Lock them up!"

I need a diagnosis, because i went my whole life feeling like an imposter, like i never belonged to anything, nit with my family, nor my friends , and i just blamed it all on me being a bad and poor individual. But after doing a lot of research i finally realized that i might of had finally found what i am , who i am , and that i wasn't alone , and if this little bit of hope that i managed to gather lately will be disregarded i will feel very lost , more lost than i ever was

I got my official diagnosis this week. There is certainly a different feeling from being self-identifying to being diagnosed by trained professionals. I think I was happier with it just being something I knew for myself but I can't go back now. And I wasn't ever going to be able to fully accept it until it was officially diagnosed, so it was sort of Catch 22. I'd say to anyone looking for a full diagnosis: be absolutely sure you want it as there is no going back.

Watching this and in tears. Age 50+, female, know I have ASD but can't get an official diagnosis. I don't really "need" it for financial reasons but just so I can have a name to this torment that has affected every aspect of my life. And yes, I feel greatly misunderstood and left behind. I just want to fit somewhere and know I'm not alone.

I went to a doctor for a professional diagnosis for myself, since I struggle with my self at times. I just wanted to confirm this 'officially' despite knowing I was definitely on the spectrum. I got my diagnosis on Tuesday and I am both happy and not, for finally having some clarity about what I felt and how I interacted with the world. Took me 35 years to get here, but here I am. I still believe self-diagnosis is valid and dislike the gatekeepers that pop up occasionally.

I’m 60. Some months ago I tried the AQ just out of curiosity and scored 44. I was very surprised, so researched and tried more assessments and almost always scored high. I honestly had no idea, because I didn’t think I matched my impression of what autism is. Once I posted my self-diagnosis on various Internet places, I have had the feedback that friends with autism had already assumed I was autistic! I’m really grateful for your contributions - they are some of the most helpful I have come across.

I really appreciate how this is framed. I think the “valid for what?” question is so important but missed in the some of the discussions I’ve seen. I have that external validation through the autistic community, and seeing myself in others for the first time at 33 is good enough for me. As I’m not seeking accommodation, my self identification is enough to help me understand and explain myself better.

Valid for me. I know more about it - and me - than anyone I've ever met. I was born in 1948. If I told you my history, you'd cry. Thanks for your great work.

Well said. For me work is a consideration. Ironically I am a nurse and work in an ER and I have observed throughout my career diagnoses of different things being used against staff. Do you want your boss and coworkers to know that you have it? If I have never gotten a formal diagnosis I can sign all of my paperwork officially “no”- and I wouldn’t be doing anything illegal. Life on the spectrum is difficult enough especially if you’re independent and or alone. “Coming out” can use up a lot of emotional energy and throw your life off the rails.

Currently forced to be self diagnosed. I don't have the money to pay for an assessment via a private clinic, and the average waiting time when going through the national health care system is several years... IF they even let you go through one that is. When I got informed of this a month or so back I dropped my jaw. 10 years ago it was an average of 3-6months waiting time. Now it's years. In comparison, would I had the money? Average wait time is 2 weeks... What currently irks me the most though, whenever I'm in contact with my therapist at my local doctors office, is how she continuously brings up "you might not be autistic", while at the same time is uncomfortably (for me) IMPRESSED with my level of self awareness, understanding of myself and how I function as a person. She keeps repeating how great I am at these things, and that I should feel proud of myself. It's rare to be so knowledgeable, apparently. SO, why then do you keep telling me I might not be autistic? I've done the research, I've interviewed my parents about my childhood, I've spoken to others on the spectrum, I've taken multiple tests, I AM AUTISTIC. It doesn't feel great being stuck with this attitude of "you might not be" for how many years it is I'll have to wait for that assessment. I don't understand how that is supposed to do me any good? How that limbo way of thinking is going to enable me to help myself, or get help. Especially when what drove me to seek out help in the first place is that I realized I need it, if I want to have a decent chance at a decent life. Which wasn't that easy to come to terms with in the first place, took me almost a year actually, after accidentally stumbling upon an Aspie YT content creator that spoke about things that were dead on accurate on how things are for me. Sorry for the rant. Just super frustrated today about this particular matter.

My realization came when my daughter was diagnosed. It brought back some memories I had left to the past. In the light of everything I learned since her diagnosis, I realized I had a very stereotypical (a.k.a. from media) view of what autism is. I'm still learning.

The symptoms are true and valid to the individual that experiences them, regardless of diagnosis or not.

you are like my missing twin i never had, who actually understands my experience in a world where no one else does 💓

I have become aware that I am Autistic and also have ADD when I began working in reading recovery/tutoring at age 29. I was the clinician who could work with the more difficult children and begin to open our non-profit to working with kids who are on the spectrum. I was aware because I had to constantly do testing and intake for kids to place them in the program and I was later involved in education research. The qualities and characteristics of these conditions were constantly listed for me and after awhile it was difficult to ignore that they were like reading a list of my personality traits. I tried to seek a diagnosis three years ago and my life totally unraveled. I also suffer from severe PTSD from childhood emotional neglect, severe bullying, and later as an adult, multiple sexual traumas, homelessness, kidnapping, and more I don't want to keep listing. I have been offered diagnosis of disthymia (low-grade depression) when I masked completely, generalized anxiety, depression, major depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and then in 2018, bi-polar. No matter what I showed them of the 133 questionaire checklist of from Samantha Craft or my request to be evaluated, I was dismissed and treated with meds for depression and bi-polar that numbed me and made me unable to even participate in therapy. My therapist of 9 years believes me and understands, but she can't diagnose me. I have state healthcare because I can't hold down a job at 40 and I also have some debilitating undiagnosed chronic pain issues, but that also means I don't really have any say it what treatment or doctors I get. I have no power to say "no, that is not right" and when I did, I was belittled, medicated, hospitalized, and in 2018 pretty abused by emergency care providers in ambulances, ERs and by law enforcement. I experience severe trauma over and over again and eventually I was locked up for a psych ward for weeks until I agreed to take the Lithium and all the drugs they wanted me to take. I still wish to seek a diagnosis, but it feels so triggering and I feel like trying to get help can sometimes just cause more trauma. I live in Colorado, a few hours from where Elijah McClain was killed when law enforcement was called because he was dancing down the street at night listening to headphones. He is Autistic and tried to explain to officers, but he is Black and they ended up having the emergency care providers drug him with ketamine. He fell into a coma and never woke up. I was similarly drugged in the ER, lost three days and woke up in a psych ward. I appreciate your video (s) a lot as I try to decide how to proceed and what is best for me so that I can actually feel alive in this world that doesn't really accept me or believe me. Being wired "weird" is really tough but youtube videos from others with similar struggles is really helping me find acceptance inside myself.

For me the piece of paper would be the icing on the cake

I was with a personal development coach for years and I noticed during our last year, I kept telling her that when too much is happening around me, my brain shuts down and I can't verbally respond. I spoke about my brain feeling different a few times. I used to be teased and still am from others for not being spontaneous enough and needing routine to function as well as not speaking when around others. I get told I'm rude or weird for not engaging in conversations. Sometimes, it's because I don't feel comfortable to open up. Mostly, it's just because I really don't know how to have a conversation. I've never understood small talk. I can do "Hi! How are you? I am good, thanks." Then that's it. I honestly have no clue where to go from there... I am so glad to find this channel. So much resonates. Thank you.

Thank you for this information. I'm in my late thirties and only a couple of months into realizing my autism. Your 25 questions video was really a big lightbulb moment. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of me.

hey paul...im going through the process right now, i found out i was autistic watching videos like yours. basically my whole life flashed before my eyes, it was a total revelation. ive had an evaluation with my psychologist and she says that yes, it makes a whole lot of sense. years ago i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and borderline, but i always felt it was wrong. my close friends would say no youre not bipolar. now that i know what the "problem" is, i feel so much better, i feel less of an alien, that there are others like me. thank you so much for your videos, they really help me understand what its all about. cheers!

Seems a doctor would need you to answer all kinds of questions that only you could answer before he could reach a diagnosis and that sounds like what fake psychics do. I am autistic, 65 years old, and I dont need to tell anyone about myself to have them turn around to tell me what I am. Thanks for videos O:) '

I’m so glad you’ve recognised that for some friends and family, the formal diagnosis isn’t enough.......!

Thank you for this video. My boyfriend has ASD and I have never related to someone the way I relate to him. He is actually the one who first questioned if I had autism and he is my validation. Thank god for him and for you and this youtube channel

Depends on your definition of valid. I doubt any self-diagnosis is legally binding. But it may have a sound basis in logic and/or fact. I think the more important question is if the self-diagnosis is accurate. According to my professional psychologist, mine was. If you need a professional diagnosis to convince others, then that might be another way to define valid.

I am 57 years old and for the first time visiting the hair dresses I didn't leave traumatized because I said I have autism and talking will be difficult, it made things so much easier, Marie

I went to counseling at age 67 for anxiety. I felt that I had autism traits...also INFJ. My counselor agreed that I most likely I am on the spectrum. She also stated that I seemed to be high functioning. That I had moved through life so far. That I had developed coping skills to be successful in many areas if my life. I completed College, Married, Raised children, Held employment. She also acknowledged how difficult and challenging my life journey must have been. She saw no value or purpose in getting a formal diagnosis at 67.

What I have found now at 61 and really digging into what I first discovered about 20 years ago, I am on the Autism spectrum. I now know I am highly functioning and I do have bad days. I realize so many people who are in my life, especially those "kids" who adopted me as their mom, are autistic. It is like I have always been a magnet for those in the autism spectrum, probably simply because I accepted then as they are, always have. I do believe I am discovering that I need to shift my work and career to supporting our young adults more.

I've heard my friend's neighbor's kid that acts like I did when I was a kid is suspected of being on the spectrum. Then after a few weeks of looking through symptoms, I went on a trip with my friend and his autistic stepson. I looked through a lot of your videos, others' videos, and different pages. Everything made sense after watching your videos and getting a near perfect score on the online test twice. I'm not getting diagnosed by a Dr to find out what I already know now thanks to you. Thanks and have a good day.

I've just been reading all these comments saying it's not 'valid.' And they made me angry. All I could think was, 'define valid.' I believe valid is a very misleading word in this context. It just brings up so many other questions. Such as, 'valid to who?' I believe a more appropriate and useful question in this context is, is the diagnosis accurate.

Many of us here in the USA don't have access to an official diagnosis. For those whose insurance doesn't cover mental healthcare or who have no insurance at all, it can cost thousands of dollars out-of-pocket to get tested. Also, depending on where a person lives, they may have to travel long distances to find therapists who are competent in adult diagnosis.

Here's my story as a fellow Melbournian. Last year my partner who is very much into neural science and psychology helped me look into my own mental health and pushed me towards self examining. I began looking into autism as a special interest along with comorbidities that others in the community experienced. Whilst technical data heavy articles were useful, it was often channels such as yours that gave me the most insight. I would be able to recognise everything from shared experiences to subtle nuances in body language that just felt incredibly relatable. I would hear people say that they felt like an alien who just didn't seem to be a part of the world around them and relate at a profound level. I soon found connections to my physical health that had ties to autism such as bone density issues, hyper mobility and dyspraxia. Anxiety and shut downs suddenly had an explanation, I discovered that I had been experiencing autistic burnout throughout my whole life next knowing why. Because I have alexithymia, I wouldn't realise that anxiety attacks were not just stress or frustration but had a label I wasn't using. I learned that what I thought were headaches were actually migraines caused by sensory overload. Once I had a solid grip on all of this I effectively left the autistic closet and told my family and friends as well as work. In very rapid succession. In the case of my family, my sister already more or less knew but didn't know how to broach the subject. My parents had little knowledge of the autistic community beyond knowing yes there is an eccentric side to the family. Whilst it hasn't fixed every issue in the family it certainly has given some level of explanation and context as to why I am the way I am. It explained past behaviours and made it clear how some expectations of me simply weren't realistic based on who I am. My boss said he more or less sussed it out from the interview, knew I was very switched on and intelligent when he hired me and has neural diverse traits himself. Friends have all been supportive some sort of knew, some are autistic themselves and not a single person has made an issue of it. For formal testing no I don't need a Doctor to validate what I already know. I have supportive people around me and I can't imagine anything more taxing on me emotionally then having to unpack 4 decades of pain and suffering on a trained specialist.

I’m so appreciative of Paul - I am gaining understanding w. myself, my family members, and my many, many artistic & nerdy friends. > For far too long we were treated as kids w. behavioral problems, or mental disorders, We were consistently punished , mis diagnosed & medicated ( doped up ) .. > To know your self / is a big game changer, And of course, being accepted is totally heaven !! 👍🏼🦉🧸🧡😊👀

I was misdiagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia when I was 16 and at the age of 19 I got an early retirement because my executive functions are so bad that I am not able to function with daily life, let alone any sort of work. Because the diagnosis was so obviously wrong (I have never had any psychotic symptoms) and the psychiatry was unwilling to listen, I have spent so many years researching mental health for myself in order to figure out what is "wrong" with me. For many years I never found anything that fit, and already having one misdiagnosis and knowing how horrible that can be, I did not want to get it wrong myself. I autumn 2018 I first discovered ADHD - specifically the inattentive type and how it might show in women. I was able to convince my mom that she likely has it too, and she got a diagnosis within a month. I feel confident that I have ADHD but a lot of things still didn't add up, and about a few months ago is when I finally discovered Autism and now my entire life makes sense. I've been able to piece together the puzzle of having Autism and ADHD, and having developed Complex PTSD, Depression and Generalized Anxiety from my experiences and the way my mind handles things. I can't get an official diagnosis both because I have already been in contact with the only doctor available, and he told me over the phone - without asking me any relevant questions himself - that I can't have ADHD because I'm tired a lot (obviously because of Depression, which is a common recurring diagnosis with ADHD/Autism) so needless to say I don't trust his judgment. Furthermore I would need to have the diagnosis of Paranoid Schizophrenia removed, which would mean they would take away my pension and I'm simply too much of a mess to have to go out and find a job. I am almost 30 and I have never had a job; I'm struggling just to do the dishes. I'm worrying about the legitimacy of self diagnosing as well, but the so called professionals don't seem to know what they are doing and at this point I trust my own judgment more. My mom also had a misdiagnosis and no medication ever helped her, but after I figured out she has ADHD and she got the proper meds she's had some improvement. The psychiatry never discovered her ADHD despite her having had frequent contact with them for over 30 years. Mental health professionals need a lot more education on ADHD and Autism.

I have “friends” that think now I have a formal diagnosis that I need therapy to be “normal” their first question was ‘so what are you going to do about it, are you going to a therapist?’ I’m 52,just diagnosed and first self diagnosed at first through a hundred plus hours of research. I told them there is no cure, just strategies, they say I’m just using it as an excuse especially when it comes to meltdowns. They won’t want or read the information I provided. A great book is illustrated glimpses of Aspergers, in iBooks written for family, friends and workplaces, very short but very succinct

An online test was enough for me. My son’s formal diagnosis is the only reason I began to wonder and did an online test. It’s been eye opening for me. I don’t need a formal diagnosis.

I'm currently 33, the only diagnosis I received through my life was Emotional Dysregulation Disorder (which I only found out in my late teens/early 20s because I mentioned to my mother that I suspected that I could have ADD, to which she replied "I'm not sure about ADD, but you were diagnosed with something called EDD", which led to me doing research it... which doesn't seem to be a very common diagnosis). As I dug deeper, I started reading about aspergers (and of course autism by extension), finding that I was noticing stuff that sounded a lot like me and issues I have. At some point, when I brought the possibility up to my mom, she told me that my brother told her the same thing (about me) several years earlier (I may have been anywhere around 10 at the time) after watching a documentary on it. I'm not sure how an actual diagnosis was never made considering the fact that the majority of my schooling, I was a special education student, and until I was 15, I saw a therapist every week, but due to the fact I was never officially diagnosed, I had a hard time out and out saying I was autistic out of sheer fact that it was a self-diagnosis. It actually wasn't until about this past year, finding out that toe walking was a pretty common thing for people on the spectrum (and considering I do that a lot, and have since I could walk... something my mom pointed out to doctors that went ignored by them when I was a kid) that I actually began to actually be comfortable saying that I am, or likely am on the spectrum, that piled with the results of the AQ test I took online, the way I relate to most aspies I meet online, and everything I knew before, the only thing i think holding me back from getting an actual diagnosis is that I'm not sure where to get started (I don't have a primary care doctor and going to see a doctor is an extremely rare thing for me)

Many of us don’t have a choice but to self-identify, unfortunately. For example, in the US, the tests cost thousands of dollars and insurance won’t cover it. At least from my research, no insurance plan does. Then there’s access to specialists, especially ones who are up to date and aware of the differences in which autism can present based on race, age, ethnicity, gender identity, etc. Intersectionality, basically. (Side note: the fact that we’re still gendering autistic traits -and ADHD traits, too- doesn’t help. It excludes many people.) I didn’t have that kind of access, where I come from, and my hope was that I could get diagnosed here in the US, but now money is the problem. I just wanted to add that.

Really liked this video Paul as it put the overall question under different situational spotlights resulting in very different but correct answers. Thank you.

I haven’t done it because I haven’t personally needed to. Plus, I don’t feel mentally prepared for going through the medical system again after 20+ years of fighting to find a medical professional who would confirm my suspected endometriosis. And the only way to know for sure is investigative surgery for that. So I am definitely already in the mindset of if and when I need it, I will ask to have it investigated. Last week I had a call with a recruiter who had sent me for an interview which was the first one in my life I decided not to mask for. Even she noticed. So now it’s me, my family, and my ex who I was with for over 10 years AND someone in my professional life who have noticed it. And the more often this happens, the less often I feel I need a professional diagnosis, because I don’t need medical support, just the understanding of the people close to me and in my line of work. I still feel guilt for “aspergersing wrong” though.

I just had to say, this was really helpful to me. Even the moments when you thought you weren't doing a good job. First of all, you did a fantastic job. Your difficult moments were actually further validation to me of my own self diagnosis because I can easily imagine myself doing the exact same thing. And your comments about finding validation through others in the community were very helpful. I find that validation through watching videos like these and participating in the comments section. I actually feel much more at peace now in saying with confidence that I am self diagnosed on the autistic spectrum. Though I might seek official diagnosis someday, too, because it does significantly effect my life. Anyway, I wanted to say thank you for this video. It really did help me.

I was accidentally diagnosed (not through official tests but a psychiatric told me after assessing my childhood history) and I didn't believe it until I did researches on my own.

I’ve watched a fair amount of these videos since November. I’m very glad I found these. I don’t see myself seeking a formal diagnosis, but, so far I’ve been able to relate to half or more of the things mentioned in any given video. Even the few videos where I look at the title and think “well that’s not really me” (the topic), I still see things that are relevant. If anything, I’m grateful that there’s someone out there to explain how my own brain works. For now I consider that a win.

I approached my doc a few months ago about possible adult ADHD after my kid was diagnosed. Started suspecting ASD for both of us as well. It was people like you sharing their symptoms which helped me identify mine. I'm pursuing a diagnosis to validate my suspicions but at this point figure I will benefit from yours and others tips either way. Thanks for your videos, it's comforting to hear someone else talk about overcoming/adapting to the struggles I have been wrestling with.

Some people who are autistic have questioned self diagnosis and weren't happy that self dx were in the group.

Hey Paul Thank you for your videos, it’s really helping me to figure myself out. I’m a 37 year old man and I’ve always tried to figure out why I was different and wat was wrong with me and am I the only one of my kind on this planet. You have really explained so much and I’ve watched other videos besides yours and this really feels like it sits with me. I’ve come to other conclusions but they always left me unfulfilled. Understanding autism really feels like my brain finally got to sit back and fan it’s self saying “finally” 😊 I did a personality test with whole food and it said I was an INFJ and that was my first discovery of being able to Finally explain myself to others. It really helped me feel I wasn’t alone in the world and from there I went into spirituality with empaths and light workers witch helped a lot also. Still though I wasn’t satisfied and knew there had to be more. Thank you so much Paul, you have really helped push my life forward. Sorry for the long message. ~ Michael Patrick PS. You look like you could be my twin 😄😄 I have to keep adjusting my eyes cause I kept seeing my face with your voice, it’s very trippy

Awesome video, i really resonated to your talk. This has help me in my journey of self growth concerning my confidence!

Cheers for the videos, stumbled scroll them as I was heading to bed a while ago... Been having a hard time with mental health recently, currently seeing a short term (6 weeks) psychologist, then will transition to longer term, your videos have not only potentionally answered a question i didn't know I had to ask (did the aq test super quick, scored 41), but also direction for where to potentially head with selecting a psychologist for the long term (last meeting with my support group they asked if there was any specific type I wished to see), thanks so much mate, really good videos!

Self dx and absolutely certain of it. I simply say I was recently diagnosed. Talked to my psychiatrist and we agreed. At my age of 65 the screening wouldn’t make any difference. She agrees that I’m right and I KNOW I’m right. I don’t require outside validation.

I self diagnosed a few weeks ago, thanks to the internet community, and I keep discovering more traits (I thought I didn't have...) every single day ! I guess I will get officially diagnosed when I'm ready, out of curiosity, mostly. But I don't need no neuro psych specialist to TELL ME what I KNOW. I guess those who need it are my friends. Sadly. But I don't expect any neuro typical brain to understand what we experience. This is hidden, mostly. A whole life experience only autistic people can relate to and validate. Others will just go like: you're normal, don't look back, you're great as you are, you might just identify to a label and get depressed for nothing... Wot ? What are they talking about ? What do they know about what it feels to realize you've been autistic for 56 years ? So yes, maybe I'll seek an official diagnosis just to shut some mouths and be left alone.

I'm a little bit jealous about how Australia now has summer, close to zero covid and no lockdown :)

Dude, your work is amazing. Thank you so much.

I am self diagnosed have been since I was 22, I am now 33 years old. I have never felt the need for a formal diagnosis. I used to always ask my parents when I was a child what is wrong with me and they never gave me answer because the doctors told them I didn’t tick another box’s to be diagnosed.

I appreciate your take on this - hearing that the community is more focused on shared experiences than a (likely NT) professional’s opinion is helpful. I guess it’s kind of like my eating disorder support groups - we just support each other, not ask if you *really* have issues with food (though non-ED folks have no problem grilling you on it). I’ve strongly suspected Aspergers since around 2010, thinking “wow, besides the fact that I’m not male, this is exactly how my brain works,” when I started poking around different sites, and that was *before* I learned about masking, which can actually be a hindrance to diagnosis - unless I push the issue with psychiatrists/psychologists (none of whom have been well-versed in ASD), my concerns are dismissed. I guess THAT is why I am considering a formal dx now - I want someone that knows about Autism to listen to me and be like “yeah, sounds legit” since it’s been explained away by other things. I have already been diagnosed with OCD, ARFID (eating disorder often associated with ASD), sensory processing disorder, anxiety/depression, complex PTSD and…a few other things I can’t think of but that are often comorbid with ASD. I’m also interested in doing an IQ test, and being evaluated for dyscalculia, which is another suspected-but-not-tested diagnosis from a tutor that would explain so many of my difficulties. It more curiosity though - I’m already on disability for a physical illness, and to fill my days volunteer at church doing stuff that totally fits my skill set.

I appreciate your comments with self diagnosis. Through my studies of special education, I can relate to the experiences by many within the autism community and going through the process of deciding whether an official diagnosis is valid. Thank you Paul :)

Next to my gf you're the only thing that gives me some relief and understanding while I wait for my research. Thanks a lot !

Terrific video, great explanation. Thanks so much...

I Love this Channel you are literally a Hope Giver Life saviour Paul you Unterstand and Can explain fantastically !

From my personal experience of a budding discovery of my autism (I'm 31), I would advise to try and meet autistic people as soon as you're comfortable enough with the idea of maybe being autistic ! I have met with some from my hometown through video chat last month for the first time and it was an eye-opening experience. Not much because of what we talked about, but the feeling I was with peers, reasonably at ease with them while not "playing human" was the thing that validated my self-diagnosis for me. Also during this meeting I talked a bit about the difficulties I was experiencing at that time, and they said it was very common among autistic people, so there's that, too.

This is an important video for me. Thank you for making it.

I want a diagnosis because I want my personal and inner struggles to feel less like a personal failure…

Thank you, this was very informative and pertinent to my situation.

I always knew i was not like most people, but I just ascribed that to having very high intelligence. But after I had a heart attack I fell into depression. That seemed to me to dramatically affect my concentration, and I began to wonder if it was just depression, partly because of the strange effects that showed up. My internist sent me to a shrink to get a prescription for depression and I asked the shrink for an evaluation. He didn't give me one, but he did give me part of the QB test and completely flunked it. I got the prescription for depression but it didn't help much, but then I got to studying the QB test and looking at youtube postings like this. I am currently being evaluated by someone else. I am sure the result will be interesting, but it doesn't really matter to me. What does matter is that QB test result because it strongly related some of my problems at work to autistic patterns. My first depression med didn't do much, but my second one, which is also used to treat ADHD, definitely helps though I am still on a low dosage at this point. I expect that will go up. I had taken this drug for a while and then did the classic response of getting off it because i felt better, then I fell back into severe depression, though not as deep as before. It's a trip. As long as I master my new vocation I will be happy however I get classified. Being classified is just someone else's opinion, and they will never know me quite as well as I will.

I thought I was autistic for a long time but I was in my 20s and had the energy to cope with an NT workplace. As I got into my 30s I no longer had that energy so got a diagnosis (it took me 18 months in the UK) so that my workplace had to make changes to my working environment. My mum thinks she is also on the spectrum but is retired and never got a diagnosis, and now doesn’t think there’s any point as it won’t change any aspect of her life. I respect her self-diagnosis and everyone else’s.

So I basically went to a therapist for help with my relationship being 52 and high functioning I would have never thought of Asperger's and even my first evaluation was very hard to determine and the Dr. Finally said it's Asperger's and gave me the book by Temple Grandin PhD to read and wow it was life changing as of yesterday and 3 different Dr. I am officially AS and I'm now starting to read the complete guide to Asperger's syndrome by Tony Attwood of course your videos have been very helpful as well and I continue to get so much knowledge and understanding from watching them. Thank you.

This helped so much. It was difficult to share my suspicions with loved ones who really know nothing about autism. They dismissed it because of no official diagnosis and lack of knowledge. I'm just known as "the one that's a little different." :) So, thanks for the "validation."

People have told me my whole life that I am on the spectrum and it felt really hurtful to hear. It wasn’t till I started working with autistic kids that I realized I may be one of them and boy I tell ya, it was kind of a wake up call

Something I've been thinking about allot lately is that any formal diagnosis MUST be done under the banner of deficits... One could be 100% Autistic (or any other DSM disorder for that matter!) but without the presents of deficits you officially can not be diagnosed... it's the way the mental health industry defines all "disorders" as, well, disorders! Which leaves an ENORMOUS gap (especially for those of us old enough to have missed being diagnosed as Aspergers) for those who can "cope" as falling short of the diagnostic criteria... which is to say that by definition many true autistics most likely fall outside these official criteria. So the only real option left for some to feel included is self diagnosis!

A person with cancer still has cancer even if the doctor has never told that person that they have cancer. Doctors are called doctors in practice because they're always in the state of practice, and never at a Mastery level......... a diagnosis is a confirmation, confirmation is only needed when you are seeking to treat through the system, and by way of the insurance companies. ( which is the true reason why medications are controlled- it keeps you within the system) If you are autistic, and you can tell that you're autistic, you do not need another man to tell you what you already are.......... a person who is autistic will still be autistic with or without a doctor's approval.

Thank you for your channel, I've had difficulties for years with relationships since a kid in grade school. Trouble keeping jobs from construction, nursing, and others. I have a higher than average IQ, but this does not help making friends keeping friends. I've always been the odd man out never fitting in. I could go on with the many problems I've had through out life. I'm 56 and always knew something was different as I was told many times by people over the years. so now that I'm autistic j/k always have been. feels like a relief knowing there is a diagnoses. never liked loud music, bars, large groups of people. It's been a struggle for sure. I want to reach out to fellow aspie's near me. yes I was professionally diagnosed.

Thank you for this discussion. I have gone through so much in an effort to deal with my “mental health,” with its myriad of diagnoses (depression, anxiety, bipolar II, etc.), where none of those boxes stuck/fit/helped. A few years ago, I started researching “mental health issues,” and gained a fair amount of information. Truth be known, nothing fit the “deep inside me” until I started learning about the autism spectrum. Like so many others, I had the false notion that autism was limited to those who didn’t fit - e.g., in early childhood, mostly characterized by the non-responsiveness seen in the most extreme cases. Was I wrong in all these things! So . . . Autism spectrum hit all of me, and I have seriously been masking all my life. When masking failed, I feel into suicidal ideation and several attempts. I am extremely relieved to find a description of “me” that fits 80% of the signs. I say relieved because I realize now (at 73 years of age) that I fit in society differently, and am, in all likelihood, on the spectrum. It is a freeing thought, because I now know that I am not “sick,” but just beautifully different. And that’s OK.

After my mother refused point blank to accept my autism diagnosis, my sister-in-law, who is a mental health nurse, with kids, sat down with my mother (this was after she'd known me a while and had seen me have a meltdown), and said, "Peter is as classic a case of what used to be called Asperger's Autism as you'll meet. Right down to the quirks. And anybody who knows anything about autism will tell you that in five minutes." She told me that she works with a psychiatrist who is autistic, too. I don't know whether she'd reached that conclusion herself, or whether she checked with colleagues, but it has made life a lot easier.

First, thank you for another helpful and validating video. I am quite convinced that a formal diagnosis will be very helpful for me. People in my life do not believe my self diagnosis. I want a formal diagnosis to get the help that I need, because I feel like I am drowning 😭

Sooo helpful!!! Thanks Paul ☺

Even if you want to be "officially" diagnosed enjoy a year long waiting list.

I’m 37 and I recently scored a 41 on the AQ but I just don’t feel the need to go through the process of being formally diagnosed (A large part is because there’s a huge lack of expertise in my state with anyone with Adult ASD experience). I’m not in need of meds or am lacking anything in life. I just don’t see how a diagnosis can help or will change anything at this point... but that’s just me o_O

I'm still yet to seek a formal diagnosis, it'll probably stay that way simply because of the sheer expense and the stigma associated with autism in the UK. At 53 I feel it's too late now, I wouldn't gain any benefit from it, the damage is already done

I discovered mine right after I finished high school. I diagnosed myself I looked up the symptoms and I have all of it. It doesn't bother me to be different

From what I gather, the diagnosis involves testimony from family & outsiders besides in person demonstration. At 72, I don’t have access to parents & sibling for a childhood assessment. I don’t require an adult assessment at my age having survived the journey. If anything, it helps others who suffer from my social interactions to understand. In such a case I just would say I live with symptomatic autism, its up to them to resolve the pain I cause. My journey had been "scorched earth" non stop. I keep waiting to be locked up. I know for certainty instinctively I was born with level 3 autistic, like how did I ever get through undetected? My mother knew something was wrong but never sought help, for some fear, I guess. But it was her & my sisters favorite subject to describe my strange and distressful childhood. LOL.

thought i’d share a bit of my story as i am getting so so much out of reading other peoples’…. (thank you guys.) so hi. as of fairly recently, i’ve self-recognized that i’m autistic just as i self-recognize that i’m a human being. there’s no doubt in my heart and mind. for this very reason, amongst a few others, i haven’t thought seriously about getting a medical diagnosis for more than a second or two. i’ve been (mis-)diagnosed with this and that over the years (depression, (social)anxiety, bpd, adhd, ocd) that have never felt “right” to me and have only served to confuse and debilitate my sense of self even further…. that now that i feel on my own so incredibly sure of this one thing about myself, i feel the need to treasure it inwardly and tell nobody at all (who i know, eg. my family, friends if i ever make them, doctors), and most definitely not allow anyone else the space to make me feel so small and unsure, or unclaimed, like a sad little alien child in one’s own brain. i don’t even know what i’m saying or if it makes sense. but, it is what it is hahah. this is how i strongly feel about this right now. if anyone cares to read further (warning - it ended up being rather... lengthy)… i’ll explain how i came about the realization at age 25.... after visiting my mom in 2020(/21?) while she happened to be watching the show “love on the spectrum” it eventually brought about some oddly unexpected comments about how she has for years now been telling coworkers and such that she has 4 children, 2 of which are “high functioning” autistic/aspergers. and she told me it was my bro and i that she was referring to. weird moment. hardly knew what she was talking about at that time. after my awkward dismissal/confusion, she further told me about how various old elementary school teachers of mine would contact her letting her know just that, in case she didn’t already suspect it. (i recall hearing about this once actually as a youngin, i remember she got so defensive and even thought seriously about switching teachers, i didn’t get it, but then she’d pursue to try to train train train the “weird”/different out of me and disciplined my “selective hearing/mutism” toward those in authority. i do remember not answering my teachers whenever they tried to talk to me, but i remember not thinking it was a big deal. it was just a no-option for me and was what it was. as much as i’m sure my mumma was acting out of her own unique way of motherly love, she had very high expectations for her kids and cared greatly, greatly for all things proper and normal, esp at that time. it was a bit tough. i felt so lonely.) i gotta be honest. my first reaction and current reaction is some sort of shock or hurt or something, that she wouldn’t want to relieve me by telling me, especially after finally looking into it all extremely intensively and recognizing within myself that it couldn’t be more true. everything. all of it. although i’ve always despised labels (so i guess i can’t blame her haha), but to put it very short, it would’ve saved me years and years of “beating myself up” quite literally, for being a certain way, or not being a certain way, or whatever. it even gave me such a huge “aah.....” jaw-dropping moment for the very odd very private stims i’ve struggled and struggled to “get rid of” all my life. i legit thought i was the weirdest person in the world, privately, and that something must have gone wrong. i just have so so much more gentle patience and understanding towards myself now, and even forgiveness during certain situations. anyways, another weird moment was realizing what my grandma meant… she has always called me “her little aspie” that i never really questioned what she meant, it just became an endearing sort of every now and again nickname (my grandma is also my best friend fyi). but recently-ish, maybe 5 or so years ago i did ask what she meant and she had told me something like “oh you most definitely have aspergers dear, i sure hope you don’t mind me calling you that!” and i just remember not really thinking much of it. just simply said “hah! no i don’t. you’re funny grandma.” :) (esp after she said it was “a form of autism” and the stigma or stereotypes for that wasn’t/isn’t so accurate most times especially for females) also, we would often joke that grandma will never ‘lose her marbles’ because she’s never had them, in the most loving way of course. her personality is wild. it’s the best. but she is intelligent too and we all know it (she was a medical health professional herself), we’d never call her ‘dumb’ so to speak, just ‘crazy’, very very crazy. :) anyways. rambling on about my favourite person now. but yeah, to conclude, i won’t be stressing myself over an official diagnosis whatsoever because to me personally it’s as simple as this, i believe myself over somebody else at this point, in terms of being told who i am. (especially since i have not always been the best at providing professionals the inside information needed to properly come to a diagnosis, oops yes i take full responsibly for that.) also, very importantly... i no longer have the same self-detrimental issues that i’ve had my entire life so i don’t feel the need for treatment to be entirely honest. no more suicide attempts and empty voids, and that is all simply thanks to finding and getting to know Jesus. praise King Jesus, seriously… but that is a WHOLE OTHER STORY.

You have helped me so much.

I would love to get an official diagnosis, unfortunately with a history of depression, from 20 years ago, and owing a vagina, everything just gets called anxiety with a pat on the head. Maybe I should join a group to see if I fit but that'll be a mark against me because it'll count as 'looking for symptoms to mimick'. Our system sucks.

I rarely actually cry tears but feel them streaming watching this video. Over many years I have heard from folks with autism commenting to me wondering if I'm aware that I am very obviously on the spectrum. It would help me explain myself to others, but I have two small children and I'm afraid to admit this to people with fears it could jeopardize people respecting me as a suitable parent to my kids. Unfortunately this has resulted in me just closing out most people to protect myself and my family from outside judgment. But self diagnosis has been extremely helpful for me because it has helped me find a lot resources to learn how to cope as a nursing mom of toddlers and to heal from a lot of the pain over a life time of feeling different and not understanding why. A lot of adhd material has helped me learn how to cope but autism material , especially targeted to benefit mothers, has helped me exponentially more.

If your goal in getting an official diagnosis is to be "accepted" by others for who you are and to have your struggle validated by them, then you are seeking diagnosis for the wrong reasons. NTs often have an instinctive aversion to people on the spectrum. This can result in a situation where subconsciously they'd rather blame the autistic person for that discomfort. Hence, Autism as an idea, an experience, a personal reality, is frequently rejected and denied by others around us. Having the stamp of officialdom will not make those who reject you suddenly change their minds.

very clear and helpful :)

Hey man, great videos, love your blue tshirts.

When my girlfriend got diagnosed with autism, we all knew I definitely had autism since I am more towards the severe or low functioning form of autism. Last year I got my diagnosis and I also am a prodigious savant.

I like the "the journey begins". It's a nice way to see the life after learning you're Autistic.

I know I have autism. 2 of my grandsons are mid range. There psychiatrist and psychologist have never questioned where it come from and have listened carefully when I explain what the boys feel or experience since they couldn't express it. I'm still in tears from watching " how it feels. For the first time I've found someone like me!

I have never shared this with anyone but I feel the time is right. I was bullied a lot when I was younger and as I grew up I was very vulnerable which lead to me being groomed in early adulthood. That with a lot of other trauma I belive makes it hard for me to self diagnose. Equally if I got a diagnosis what would that achieve. For now I want me to be me and understand what that is before seeking a diagnosis. My mental health isn't that bad I have a stable job as a nurse which I love. A diagnosis or not would explain wether my experiences with childhood trauma cause my behaviour or made me more suspetable to it. I am different and for what ever reson that's okay. I'm also dyslexic so that might not make alot of sense 😂

Later in life? You aren’t that old. Take care love your honesty thank you so much

I have always wondered even as a teenager was i autistic. I remember as a kid being senstive to noises, not being sociable, and not understanding certain things people did. It wasnt until a few close friends hinted at me being autistic due to some of my personality quirks. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, mood disorder, and EDD. But I always felt like it was soemthing different. I started researching autism in adults and the lightbulbs went off. It was like me readinf me in a book.

I love when you said no one has ever asked to see a piece of paper from you. It was very reassuring. It's not fellow autists that demand the piece of paper; it's the neurotypical folks and all the systems they run. I'm hoping to get a diagnosis so I can have accommodations in grad school so I won't repeat the experience I had in undergrad--but the grad school doesn't care what I know to be true about myself without that stupid piece of paper!

I have recently come to the conclusion that I have ASD/Aspergers and believe I have done since early childhood (I'm now 44). I identify very much with the view of a validation of myself, a formal diagnosis that proves I'm not lying or going out of my mind. I'm happy in the knowledge that I'm looking for peace of mind and not a convenient label. I was referred by my GP last month for an autism assessment and am now waiting for when I can be assessed (could be a long time under current circumstances), plus the mental health services for us in the Yorkshire & Humber region are always stretched very thin indeed.

In the time since I posted here last, I’ve actively sought a diagnosis, but hit a wall with my insurance company, as I can’t justify the expense of a diagnosis, particularly at my advanced age.

Thank you!

Thank you. 😊

Still waiting for my evaluation to be scheduled. Been waiting about 18 months so far. It’s sucks in the US. 2-3 year wait periods and a few thousand dollars if you’re an adult.

I agree with the points about a diagnosis (whether it's made by a professional or oneself) being helpful, but existing as a catalyst towards doing the more involved work like seeking help and community.

that's a great video you made some really good points for people looking to yourself diagnostic or should they start looking at a formal. I had a formal diagnosis when I was 8 years old in the 70s and I think the reason a lot of people our age didn't get diagnosis is that their parents didn't want them in the system back then. The system was F up back then. and psychiatry was a lot more restricted you had to be severe enough to have to go to the hospital before they even mess with you. like I said was F up. A lot of us that weren't bad enough to go to the hospital went to behavioral schools and boot camps and stuff. Which in my opinion that's worse. So a lot of parents did everything to keep tjeir kids out of mental health the system. As an adult the only thing that diagnosis really does for you is guide counseling because there's no meds for autism there's meds for depression because you have autism and there's meds for this and that but nothing particularly for autism so all it really does is guide counseling. There are some disadvantages with a diagnosis you can get committed easier. So if you're not needing it to really guide your counseling and help with that then there's almost no point in it and it's nothing wrong with self-diagnosis I know people that are clearly more autistic than me that we're self-diagnosed.if you decide you want one and you have the money cuz most insurance don't pay for it a neuropsychologist exam is the best because they tell you all kinds of numbers about your brain

I’m 52 and I’m just starting to realize I’m on the spectrum. All the signs have been there my entire life, starting with my pediatrician telling my mother ways to help me try to develop social skills when I wasn’t able to connect with other children. I see a psychotherapist every couple of weeks, and a year or so ago he just mentioned the idea of being on the spectrum. I dismissed it at the time. I’m now coming to terms with this. I’m planning to pursue a formal diagnosis because I already have a long-term relationship with a psychotherapist who I trust and can help me cope with whatever result I get.