This woman's subject knowledge depth and breath is incredible. Her capacity to make it simple is astounding. Her voice and accent is addictive. Tim asks good questions. This interview is a resource for psychotherapists.

Show Notes Esther gives us a little background about her life. [07:20] Esther elaborates on the experience of growing up among Holocaust survivors in Antwerp. [08:58] To what combination of “chance and choice” did Esther’s parents attribute their survival of the Holocaust? [17:35] What comes first: trust or vulnerability? [27:12] Thoughts on impermanence as motivation for living life fully. [29:03] Esther considers herself counterphobic. Does she think this is a good thing? [31:25] How did Esther come to study in Jerusalem? [33:53] How should someone seek and approach a mentor? (Sometimes it just takes a healthy dose of chutzpah.) [40:06] What is eroticism, and what does Esther mean when she calls the erotic “an antidote to death?” [49:32] What are the ethical options for an otherwise happy couple experiencing sexual listlessness? [53:08] In a relationship, is there such a thing as too much honesty? How do Americans and Europeans tend to differ on the subject? [1:01:04] Does honesty - or one-hundred percent sharing - equal caring for the other person in a relationship? [1:07:19] If one of her patients wants to disclose an infidelity to a partner, how does Esther walk them through the decision process? [1:08:39] Is it possible for a partner in a non-exclusive relationship to overcome the fear of being left as a result of discussing infidelity? [1:14:09] How would you score on a quarterly relationship report card? [1:22:08] How does Esther feel about a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy for a polyamorous relationship? [1:23:44] The value of innovation and flexibility over rigid ideology in a relationship. [1:26:32] Every relationship is a power dynamic. [1:29:00] What was the research process like for Esther’s upcoming book about “historically condemned and universally practiced” adultery? [1:32:36] Is there an argument for marriage these days? [1:39:22] Why does Esther find divorce rates for second marriages particularly interesting? [1:45:16] Why does marriage often lead to sub-par behavior between people in a relationship? [1:46:57] Through the lens of infidelity, what human questions is Esther trying to answer in her upcoming book? [1:50:00] What books has Esther gifted most and found worth rereading? [1:53:58] What would Esther’s billboard say? [1:55:05]

Interview starts @7:20

This is my first time listening to Tim, and his questions are pivotal. Esther's answers are emancipating and clarifying. I love the combination.

Esther's presentations never fail to inspire me and give me hope. Her clear and penetrating understanding of relationships love and sex is long overdue.

Hey Tim. Thanks for what you do. It has a massive impact. This was an absolute joy to listen to and thanks for sharing some of your personal experiences as well.

Her sheer delight with her subject matter is the most compelling thing. She is a remarkable story teller not least because she understands exceptionally well the power of narratives.

she is open and amazing.

Wow, Tim. Thank you so much for asking so many interesting and vulnerable questions.

Thank you Tim for such an incredible interview. I have loved Esther Perel for years. You really get to the heart of the matter. Thank you for your openness about your own experiences.

She's amazing, one of my favorites. Her logical approach and question probing separate her from the pack.

There is freedom within structure. It is relevant. How you choose to go about it. Esther is it’s truth seeker.

OMG YES TIM FERRIS AND ESTHER PEREL THIS IS SUCH A TREAT!!! love u guys, absolute geniuses

So very absorbing.. I’d say- Enchanting!! Thank You

Esther perel i learned some good things from her london real interview i put this one to the watch later, one of the must, thanks tim for bringing her on!!!

loved the show...Esther influenced a lot my way of thinking about relationships..everything she says is authentic, original and novel

Two of my favourite speakers

Thank you viewers and listeners, I am a patient patient, and I know Abundance Works, I love these condos, meant convo's. Hi Molly the Doggie!!! I loved the previous conversations about sensuality, rather sensuality. I feel BETTER, N II I SHOUTED ABOUT IT!!!! YAY, WE!!!!

Great interview. Liked the historical explanations on economics. Excellent discussion about TMI (US/European) vs holding back.

wonderful. thanks so much for this

yes , why were you not talking about relationships??-_::)).Thanks for this interview.I THINK YOU should talk about this more.

i liked her a lot. but i do not know accepting relationships with a lotof other relationships.

Fantastik Tim, just Fantastik, lots of reusable info to use in ones life, and to share. Esther, not sure if you know these words but you, are the Bomb, tightly wired, on-the-pipe, Railed, WFO. Cheers.

Thanks Tim... I was waiting for this

thank you tim for all that you do!

Excellence!!! Love her!!!

Great interview Tim! Funny enough just heard about Esther, then one day later, bam you do an interview with her, epic. Just ordered the mushroom coffee, im very curious! Already love the reishi

If my partner had sex with someone else, I wouldn't want the sordid details. But for my physical health, I would want to know if it took place. The other person is engaging in behavior that could potentially kill me, and I have the right to know when my life is in danger. Whatever we believe, whatever our boundaries are, sex has consequences and not wanting to know who else your partner is having sex with won't protect you from those consequences. I really liked Esther's comment that it takes a lot to make something mean nothing.

Liked and favourited!

Omgosh! Hurry up!

One thing that the conversation does not touch on, is the societal implications of moving away from monogamy as a model for couples. One distopian path would be that polyamorous/open relationships are only accessible to an elite with an abundance of ressources, time and choices, while the majority of the population is left in a state of sexual despair because monogamy as a moral accountability structure wouldn't work anymore.

The unfaithful: What is it that you want to tell your partner? 1:09:32

1:48:10

Tim's question about marriage failing as an institution... I'd like to answer that

What do you recommend for a 59 year o,d that sits all day at work?

The dizzy jogging additionally touch because hole unfortunately joke on a industrious taxi. sore, obeisant territory

53

i always RUN 15 KM every day

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