Omg as a former foster child this was the scariest part of new homes. My bio parents had taught me not to accept gifts, never let an adult spend money on you, and you do NOT speak unless spoken to in a store… when I was placed in my first home, it was the middle of the night, and I got no sleep. That morning, I was taken to Walmart. Before I say anything, I want everyone reading to know that OFC I was grateful and thankful for them spending hard earned money on me. But also, imagine you’re 11, your parents have instilled in you that you are worth and deserve NOTHING, and a stranger takes you to the store and spends 1000$ buying you and your baby sister all the clothes, school supplies, toiletries and bedsets you left behind. It was a mix of… being too nervous to ask for something, too embarrassed to say I DIDNT want something, and a feeling of shame that someone else was about to spend more money on me than I had ever seen in my short lifetime… I cried and begged her not to buy it when they read the total I told her I’d make us clothes out of hand me downs and that I could wash and reuse diapers just please don’t ‘waste’ money on me. She squatted down and grabbed my shoulders and just said ‘any money spent on you is never wasted, you deserve to feel loved and appreciated too’ and it broke me. I didn’t speak for weeks. I didn’t know how to accept and process that, and sometimes I still struggle to accept gifts or a ‘I’ll get the bill’… but whenever I do I feel her hands on my shoulders reassuring me that I am just as worthy and deserving of love and praise as anyone else. Foster parents MAKE THE DIFFERENCE!

The "don't worry if you don't like any, you won't hurt my feeling" is such a good thing to say. I have never been in any sort of situation like this but I can see how much pressure that would take off in these sort of situations.

As a foster child myself, the first foster home I went to didn't do this for me and my sister, they spent all the money on their kids instead. So when we moved to another foster home after a year of suffering, they did this for us. I think I cried when they kept putting stuff I looked at and grabbed, because I would look at it, smile, but then I would put it back because at my old foster home I was always told that I couldn't get those things, only their kids. Then in the clothes section I got like 10 pairs of new clothes from head to toe, I cried again and held my sister while they comforted me in the aisle. I loved what they were doing but it was lots of money and I knew it would be lots of money once we got to the counter. Finally when I let go of my sister the oldest daughter they had and the mom took me to the bathroom and cleaned my face and told me that it was ok, that I deserved to be loved, look awesome and chic, and to be the best I can be in my favorite things. I cried and then I let them buy everything. For the rest of my years there they always made sure I would have these things and my sister too. Ofc I let them spoil her more than me because she was a baby and I wanted her to grow up with all these things. I love them more than ever now, very thankful that they were our heros lol

My mother would do the shopping for me as a kid and then get upset when I said I didn't like the completely pink outfit she got for me as a 10-year-old. The "don't worry if you don't like any, you won't hurt my feelings" is one I will take with me and make sure my own kids know when I have them, biological or foster or adopted, or even just the kids I teach at school.

I was in foster care from 5 until I was emancipated at 15. I was in 23 different homes, not one as nice as you. I would have given anything to have you as my foster mom. You are so gentle and understanding. 🥺 May God bless you and your family ❤️

I'm not a foster parent but I watch these to help me be a better parent.

I have another tip: try going to the smallest stores, they usually have less versions of the same items. Too many options can be overwhelming too.

This is great! In our experience, some kids (even teens!) may be overwhelmed by so many choices and decisions at once. Things that I would have never thought of as decisions were causing major decision fatigue. (What type of shampoo do you like? What scent of deodorant? Flavor of toothpaste? What size pants? Style? What style of socks? Underwear?) After a particularly disastrous Target trip that I learned later was just completely overwhelming our teen, I've learned to have lots of generic options on hand at home so if I need to cut a trip short for their sake, we still have most of the basics at home, and then we can do some shorter trips to pick out specific things if they need them.

I also think online grocery delivery makes this easier for children who get overwhelmed in public like me. Growing up with autism, I wish instacart and online grocery shopping was a thing

I was a foster child for five and a half years. In my second foster home. I started having food insecurities because I was denied food if I lied. I'm now in my forever home of nine years and still have food insecurities

I can totally understand some kids not wanting to express an opinion or wanting to show a preference for something. Some kids in abusive homes will have their preference used as punishment (the toy they want will be specifically not bought, or bought and intentionally damaged by the abuser). Or their opinion will offend the abuser and cause extreme upset. Some kids will just be quiet and express no opinion at all. It takes time for kids to trust their foster parents with their opinions.

Hi! I was never in foster care myself, but I just want to say that I love how at 0:27 you mention that you don’t pressure kids into trying clothing items/shoes in the store if they don’t want to, and also how you mentioned that you buy multiple sizes and genuinely want to know what THEY like…my stepmother who was emotionally abusive would take me shopping at stores that *she* liked, would have me wait in a changing room, and would go pick outfits for me (that were usually too small or felt uncomfortable, constricting and just “wrong”-I have sensory issues btw), brings stacks of these clothes back for me to try on, and then she’d tell me to step out of the changing room to “model” each outfit in full view of salesclerks, shoppers, my dad, etc, while looking me up and down and body/weight-shaming me. If I expressed any kind of upset or negative emotion, I was criticized and told to be more appreciative (I told my dad I didn’t like it, but he never did anything), and often I would just say “yes” to clothes that didn’t feel comfortable at all just so the shaming and being made a public spectacle (that’s literally what it felt like to me) would stop…until the next shopping excursion. I’ve only recently discovered your videos, and idek if I’m even “allowed” to say this since I have no experience with foster care, but your content makes me feel so safe and relaxed…very healing for the inner child. You are an amazing, kind person the world needs more of; I really mean that. Thank you 💖

I am a Child Protection Worker in Canada. THANK YOU for your channel. Your videos are fantastic and I will share them with foster parents :)

I'm not in foster care and not a foster parent, but one thing that helps me is limiting shopping trips basically by genre if I'm having an overwhelming day. Like, only going in for food, we can buy the housewares on another day when I'm recovered. And it's super helpful to know going into the store "Okay so we're going to look for this, this, this, and this"!

I have a foster brother, only a year and a half, we've had a bit of a rollercoaster with him, we got him at five weeks old, then he moved in with his great-aunt, moved back in with us, and they are now trying to figure out stuff. but we love him SO MUCH and he makes us very happy, I hope we have the same effect on him.

As a former foster child I appreciate this so much

As a former foster child my foster parents in exception to two foster homes ever did this for me and even when I was living with my siblings at a relatives house. All the money went to the biological kids in the house. I managed to find or get money to get stuff for my siblings till they were placed with their dad/step dad, one of my brothers wasn't his child but his dad had passed away, I stayed in foster care till I some what aged out at 16. I left with only 6 outfits that I had sown together and a few nicknacks. I did have a job but I had to pay for me to sleep in the basement and for my food and all the bills so I didn't have much money for me. Growing up the few friends I did make the parents gave me hand me downs but when the "Worden", I couldn't call the parents by anything but Worden in one foster home, found out they took them to the dumpsters after their daughters got what they wanted from them. There's very very few foster parents that who are like this. During my time in the states care I felt like presenters were treated with more dignity, respect and humility than I was. They even got medical care and food unlike me and the other kids who were over 10. It's unreal when a child finds jail more appealing than being in a foster home

My foster homes were a disaster! My last home I didn’t know I was supposed to get clothes and shoes and toys and my case worker made me sue them after I told them what was going on in that home which at the time didn’t seem like neglect because I was just glad to have a stable home. I was in 6 different homes in less than a year! It was an experience I would never wish on my worst but there are good homes out there so to the good homes God bless you and Thank you because you are appreciated!🙏🏾

These are great tips for any parent.

Randomly found this channel. Something about it is comforting and I can't explain it

I have very fragmented memories of the short time I spent in foster care, I think I was there for about 2 weeks, and I don't remember the foster parents talking to me once. I was 5 at the time and I was too scared and confused to talk to anybody, not even my older brother was there for me ( he was in the same home as I was) but I just remember being mostly ignored because I was scared and confused. I would love to have had a foster parent like this at that time in my life.

I’m hoping to become a foster parent one day, and I loved this ❤ I especially loved that you mentioned that food is food and to let them show what they like even if it’s not healthy. I’m neurodivergent so food has always been hard for me (I was considered a “picky eater” but I learned in adulthood it’s a type of eating disorder) and my safe food weren’t always what was considered “healthy”. It got even harder when I developed my second eating disorder from cptsd and body shaming/bullying. I so appreciate when parents or “grown ups” of kids realize that fed is best!! ❤

I'm so glad you are in the world and are helping others to do this important work.

Girl if u had u as my foster mom I wuld be so grateful like all the foster homes I went thru where trash and only used me for cash and to clean the house I’m glad some kids get good homes

"You wont hurt my feelings" i needed that more. I felt so bad for not wanting money spent on me and felt gulity like I was hurting their feelings. I still feel that way in adulthood.

I'm not a foster parent but I still enjoy your videos. I can see how these tips would work for other situations as well.

My current foster home did this it was the only one I had that did this

Why do I see this at a time where it makes so much sense

I love how you picked out the two toys for the bed. The child can make a choice without feeling overwhelmed.

I couldn't imagine getting attached to all those amazing children and saying goodbye Idk how my sister does it 😕

This is what all foster parents should treat the foster kids like this is amazing it made my day 😁

When I watch your videos, I feel like I can grow more empathetic, compassionate, and considerate. Thank you for these.

I really appreciate the selfless work you do

when I grow up, I am FOR SURE going to foster a couple kids, and I will be as nice to them as possible, because no kid deserves to not have parents :)

Sending everyone great big rainbow coloured hugs, (or stars for those not too keen on hugs), with an extra star for anyone practicing kindness.

Love this!! I thought this was going to be a funny sketch so I wasn't expecting this.. awww this was so sweet and educational!

As you know, kids can end up temporarily removed for all sorts of reasons -- sometimes genuine abuse, neglect, and deprivation, but also sometimes as a result of hoarding, extreme uncleanliness (which certainly has an impact on children, but is usually ancillary to mental health or cognitive deficits of the parent/s rather than willful maltreatment), or even false reporting. How do you balance making sure kids from low-income, non-abusive backgrounds, who will likely be returning to loving parents, get the things they need, feel comfortable and important in your home, etc., with _also_ making sure that you don't set up a comparison that their parents will never be able to live up to?

Your videos are amazing and you are such a gift to the kids that come to your home! ❤

Absolutely precious💗

You seem like such a good foster parent

Love these! Thank you Laura!!!

Wow, I wish I Had such a caring, loving and sensible person as parent or whatever. It may have helped me not to still struggling with complex ptsd in my early twenties and drowning im sorrow because I never had parents that were nice to me and now will never ever seem to have the chance to be parently cared for becaus I am a grown up. So all in all I do not want to spred me feeling sorry for my self (Spoiler: it does not help anyone, neither me) but tell you as a person who has been traumatized for way too many years that you are making a great job and that I am sure that especcialy traumatized children will take the chance to feel safe with you because you are acting so attentive and sensible to their feelings and thoughts also if they are not spoke out loudly

Omg. Over night success ! Congrats 🎉 50k followers ❤️

You are truly amazing! 🦸🏼‍♀️

So I work as a paraprofessional in a school with a high amount of foster kids do you have any advice on how to be good support for them at school? This is my first year as a para and I want to make sure I'm helping these kids in a positive way.

I don’t know who’s filming, but if it is your husband, it must be hilarious to see you two without context 😅

Thank you for sharing!

Istg going shopping with an adult always makes me feels so weird and embarrassed!! I just hate the thought of them thinking "wow isn't that too much for you?" I know its harmless but I hate it when people see me as like a spoiled child

Great ideas :) How are you filming these videos out of curiosity?

Another option is to ask the child if they want to go to a store with you, or if they would like to order online (I realize this isn't always an option, but when it is it can help if crowds are overwhelming). You can look through the options together and add things to the cart, this is especially helpful with food, at least for me. Sometimes simple things like seeing items put into a cart at the store can be triggers and this can help to distance the child from that. Or you can even combine the two! Complied an online list of items with the pictures to give the child and internal map of what to expect and then go to the store and pick out everything they've complied together! These are just ideas, I know at lot of time FP have to move quickly and may not know what is triggering to a child beforehand. No pressure, just ideas. Remember, whatever happens if you are operating from a place of love and good intentions the child/children will sense that even if mistakes are made!

Can I ask what about if you have a budget and they want an Xbox and a six foot tall teddy bear?

Absolutely love that you have no children involved in your videos so far

I remember one outfit I got that first trip. Black and white and black shiny shoe. I remember because the bow like thing on the shoe feel off at school at some point. I know my mom wouldn't care it wasn't a big deal. But this foster mom was trying to convince me that my mom was horrible and foster kids are stupid.

Brb just crying a bit

You are so amazing stay strong but please don’t show anything that could be used to show where you are 😀🥰😀🥰

Early and yes great tips

Truth

When would you do this? A few days after they come. How to handle them seeing relatives while out?.

where does the money for this come from? Just curious... I just didn't know the answer. Thanks!

I like this a lot but when purchasing multiple sizes, not having the kids try on to see if they fit, or things that the kids don’t “need” what if money is tight and you might not have the money to put upfront for diff sizes of clothes and shoes even if you return later and get your $ back?

I have a question that may seem off topic here. What if you accept taken in a foster child and they bring them but they are not able to give information right away as they are still waiting on it and no one knows if the child has a food allergy or not what do you do to take those precious because like I figured I would have gluten and dairy free options on hand just in case but I know people whom allergic to apples and watermelon so if you do not know if they have any food allergies and odd food allergies but you need fix them a meal what do you do??

HELP why did i read the title as "Slapping a Foster Child"

I can’t read the written comments on the video. They are sll blurry. Does anyone have the same isdue? Watching this on a phone.

I have a question: I’m not a foster kid or parent or anything like that but I see and read a lot of stories about children moving from one house to another. Why do kids have to move so many times if they are in good foster families? In a comment someone said she had to change 23 times between 5 and 15 years old. Why can’t you stay in one house if you feel good and the family is still working as foster parents? It must be really hard for kids to trust anyone if you know that it’s not going to last long… thanks for the answer

Laura- I tried to but from your wish list on amazon and it didnt come up with the address.

Hello. I'm just curious. As a foster parent, are you allowed to bring the kid like to a theme park that's in a different state or city?

Hey girl. Have u contacted piece of us podcast. I think you’d make a brilliant guest on it

Is the reason for the multiple sizes so they can try on at home or is it so that they definitely have clothes they like. Because if its reason 2i feel that may be putting a lot of stress/pressure on someone cos it comes across as oh you like these leggings ok cool let me buy 3 sizes so u can wear them for the next 4/5 years cos they may not liek them then . And also they may feel guilty seeing you buy so many or seeing the price

Alicia needs to learn something here

All of the captions on your videos are so blurry I can’t read them. Is there anyway to change that?

So do they not have rules or acceptable standards of behavior

shoes are much harder to fit, i'd ask them to try on shoes in the store, but not force it, clothes you can always wear a little big if need be and they will grow into them quick.

Where do you get the money for this?

This is only possible if you have alot of money

Wait I thought she was going to target how come there’s food there target don’t sell food

I would also point that if you are vegan don't force them to eat what you eat because your style may traumatize them like she said it has to be food they are familiar with not foods that are new to them

Why do you buy multiple sizes?

I like this series - I guess it’s called a channel- and I appreciate the advice, but I’d also like to say, especially since so many have showered so much praise, that as someone who was trafficked the rote kind of speech makes me a little uncomfortable and the notion of anyone being essentially a professional foster parent also makes me uncomfortable. A cut and dry, routine response to a person can be a little hurtful because it’s the suggestion it’s not about you, the hurt person.

Probably better to make a list before going to the store. I just want to add, not all foster kids want you in their face. They are use to being left alone and have been doing things on their own for years. Probably think you are annoying. Yep, that was me. I stayed in the mountains all day and stayed away from foster parents. I had violent outbursts when they would start getting in my space. I had lost everyone on my life and moved from home to home. I felt safe on my own and didn't have any desire to bond with people. My mother always chose abusive men, I would have just seen you as another weak woman I'll equipped to deal with the real world

So-So

Can shout me out say Gaming world

I like you, but i think you're funny as a comedian. You're a little too creepy and a little unbelievable as a foster parent. If I were a foster child, you would freak me out and make the process traumatizing. Sorry. But you could make a youtube short on that. 😊