She enjoys rejecting him. It validates her. That's why I she's entertaining this "friendship".

She wants the "boyfriend energy" and attention without having to call it a relationship. She is toxic

In most cases with exes, most people go backwards. Close that chapter in your life and go forward.

He's lucky she left him. She's a mess.

Mathew Hussey has a lot of patience.

"Is this like a radio station or something?" was actually the smartest thing she said during the whole call.

"I'm sure you're incredibly special"....what a line!

This girl is why some poor guys aren't allowed to move on. Chicks like this who just want attention and keep flirting and giving guys the wrong impression need to stop! She's such a dope! Poor guy!

Crazy how some people persist to contact their exes. I'm far too prideful (not saying it's a good trait) to ever contact an ex after getting broken up with. Sure it sucks, and it has eaten me alive for a couple months resisting the contact, but in the end it's for the best. You realize sooner than later that you get over your crappy feelings and meet new people that make you soon forget your ex. Spamming your ex will only extend your healing process, and I really do believe it can cause some mental issues if you let it drag out too long. Last year my girlfriend broke up with me and I felt like I went through 3 months of hell by dwelling on it. The thought of that feeling lasting any longer would have literally drove me insane. I'm glad I resisted the temptation of contact, otherwise I might still be lingering on. Be smart and move on people.

That woman sounds awfully cold hearted

This girl clearly doesn't care

It's best to not be friends with your ex. This doesn't mean you need to be enemies or speak ill of them. It just means that if you happen to run into each other, you should be cordial, but not hang out. It just causes problems when either one of you starts a new relationship.

So glad you called her out and told her to stop the BS and to be kind. Matt you're a blessing.

The caller is kind of annoying.

She just wants attention, she doesn't want his heart 💔

I believe she answered her question while asking it. It's clear that she is in denial. Most of us lie to ourselves when we don't want to believe what's right in front of us.

I stayed friends with 3 ex boyfriends and it’s no issue but I can’t stay friends with this last one because I was too emotionally involved with him. I think the staying friends thing depends on the depth of your involvement with them.

This girl sounds really immature, this dude needs to move on! She'll just be stringing this poor guy along!

This girl sounds like she wants every guy after her

You can see Matthew talk so forcefully at the end, he was definitely boiling with anger...

I adore him very well when it comes to how he gives advices to people who are in a confusing situation. For me, Matthew doesn’t want us to feel hurt again and his advices could help us avoid the position of being heartbroken.

Omg this girl.... NO. She likes the attention.

Matthew definitely has a caring heart. This makes him so special and respectful.

Well said Matthew. It totally sucks to hurt someone! It's something you live with and always feel bad about.

I'm in the same exact situation.. my ex was trying to be friends but i realized it was just bringing up lots of our past issues, which I hadn't allowed myself enough time to heal from. I'm glad I chose the right path and watching this video confirms it. Thanks Matthew :-)

this is like brain trauma again and again, listening (to the girl's train of thought and answers to Matthew's questions) but I'm glad she was open to Matthew's suggestions at the end and asked a very relevant question to wrap it up

Your advice, although it incorporates advice on current issues and technology and frustrations, is really timeless! Thank you Matthew.

100% wants him to still be around her to make herself feel better!

She just needs him to feed her ego.

I needed this tonight this was a perfect thing for me to hear tonight at help me make a decision that I need to walk away from somebody that I never thought I would walk away from. Because he can't decide what he wants and if I'm not going to be his number one priority I'm no longer going to be an option he can't make up his mind he's debating whether he wants to marry another woman or be with me and it's absolutely ridiculous and I'm done I'm going to make his decision very easy for him I'm no longer an option

It depends on so many things... If both are mature enough to keep the limits and both have no romantic feelings anymore, there is no problem in staying friends. This girl is just playing stupid as she knows he is into her and that nutures her ego, the fact that the false hope destroys his ego is secondary. What will she offer as a "friend"?

That's a slippery slope. I have a NO friendship rule including all social media and must say, it helps to turn the page that much quicker. I do, however, have an ex that I'm forced to see every 2 months and it's so hard. Hate it because it's does bring up old unresolved feelings. It bugs me even more because he's so cool about it.

No do not stay friends with your ex especially if you're with someone new!

I am just feeling better and better. Thanks for showing us how to be a decent human being.

I think this video answers one kind of situation, but in my case I want to stay friends with some of my exes because the feeling of love doesn't go away, and i don't want to lose someone special to me. I have also been in a situation where someone I'm friends with for years (never dated) has suddenly told me they like me, and then I have to reject them every time i see them, leading to our friendship ending. What I'm saying is that it is definitely possible to be friends with exes, but you can't be friends with people who have feelings for you whether you've dated or not.

"I don't know!" Honey, you know.

"Should you stay friends with your ex?" Same answer as "Do you want to be just friends with your ex?" That's "friends" as in, only ever friends. Not "Well I'm hoping that they'll see how great I am and one day we'll get back together because of it." Not "I'm going to prove that I've changed by staying in their life." Whatever you want from your ex, friendship or getting back together, be honest about it. And if you want different things, then you need to go your separate ways. Think about one of your friends of the same gender (or if you're gay, the opposite gender) - basically someone you'd never have any sexual attraction toward. I have a guy friend who just got engaged. I see him on the couch making out with his girlfriend, I'm not sitting there getting jealous. It doesn't hurt me to see that. I support their relationship and I want them both to be happy, because I view them both as "just friends." If someone is "just your friend", you'd want them to be in a successful relationship with someone else. If you aren't comfortable with that - if you don't fully support them finding the right person for them, then that isn't a healthy friendship. I saw this happen with a different friend of mine. His girlfriend broke up with him and he kept persisting, talking about how he was going to "win her back" and "prove that he'd changed." This is someone who already told him she didn't want to be with him. Now he's constantly at her beck-and-call, always there as a shoulder for her to cry on whenever she wants it, and she even tells him in front of others "Hey, remember, we're just friends" when he talks about wanting to see her. It's really sad to watch and he now he's talking about how that's what he wants - to be "just friends" with her, and you can tell that's not what he wants. You can tell he wants more than that, and he's going to get hurt, especially when she fully moves on and starts dating someone else. He's only pushing her further away, because she knows she can get everything she liked about the relationship out of him without having to put in any effort or commitment. He needs to be honest with himself and with her about what he wants.

I think the key takeaway from this call is that, for two people to stay in a meaningful long-term interpersonal relationship (relationship in broader terms), their intentions towards one another need to be aligned. There also needs to be a healthy amount of respect, self-respect and NO presence of unhealthy attachment.

If you read this, I love you man, you have sorted out what I was craving for! Thanks! May God bless you!

Exactly what I needed to hear today! Great tips....thanks again!

Perfect moment to watch this video. I see myself on this guy's (the ex boyfriend of hers) position. Thanks Mathew!

Thank you so much Matthew for this video.. Thank you for your honest opinion and not being irritated by the caller. Lol. Anways, I am currently going thru the same situation but the only difference is my Ex just got married few months back and is hell bent on staying "Friends" with me after leaving me to marry another girl 5 months after our breakup and yet he keeps manipulating me to not give up on our friendship. I finally have an unbiased advise and the perfect response to give him and would try as much to cut him off completely. PS; Your smile was really warming... :)

I'm still good friends with one of my exes. We dated for 3 years and have been broken up for 5 years. I went states away to visit with him, his girlfriend and their new baby. If you really love someone it doesn't just end. And you can love someone without wanting to be with them.

Me and my husband are currently going through a divorce and we're still very much friends. We're still living together, but in separate rooms. However, we have kids together and we're both adults who realize that we've just grown apart.

It's hard to keep friendship when: » you still talk to each other everyday, from mourning to night; » he/she or both wanna make love or sex together; » he/she still shares romantic songs with you; » someone recalls good memories when you were happy and in love; » ...

6:00 Bro, your advice really deeply touch my heart. Even though I'm a dude but I'll take it for myself. Thanks.

I wish Matthew was my mate. He is amazing. And when you need advice i wouldnt question who to call.

Good advice Matthew. i couldn't have said it any better.

Very good advice, Matt. There's a similar situation I really wish I could pick your brain on, when you have the chance.🙏

haha! Maybe I analyze every angle to the situation, but I always just cut off ties with my exes. I started talking to two of them after a year or so and now we are perfectly fine as friends; can go out, eat, and chat about each others current relationship statuses without it being awkward. There is ways of putting a stop to someone without it having to get to a harassment sort of state. Block, block, block. If you're not putting a halt to it at this day in age with so many ways of doing so, you're just encouraging them to keep at it without having to say it. Guys don't get subtle hints, they get actions, women!

That was very nicely handled- by her too! I think the part she needed to hear was he would not be happy with simply staying "friends" so she would only end up hurting him again, and that he needs to find himself new people to be with.

Matthew I love your KZfaq channel I agree. Exs cannot be friends or males and females cannot be friends because there's an attraction there on either side of the party you're brilliant guy you sound very honest very genuine and I love your talks.

I found this advice helpful day one into my breakup. Thank you!

My "ex" and I were close friends for a long time before we decided to date for a few months. I ended it because it didn't feel right. I didn't see him for half a year but after a friendly catchup he told me he still liked me. I told him to move on and stopped talking to him. Half a year later he ran into me and we exchanged small talk. He asked me out for catchup but after numerous excuses I ended up going to a very awkward dinner. On a tipsy night with mutual friends, although I kept my distance I ended up in front of him frustrated and rejecting him. A couple of days later, he texted me asking to see me so I decided to unfriend him completely. We're strangers now, but I do feel very bad to have lost such a good friend.

The 3 friends I had that I loved dearly then ended up wanting more, I had to go no contact for their own sake. I missed them and wanted to still have the benefits of their friendship, ie knowledge, resources, stimulating intellectual conversations, hikes etc etc etc I had to cut it out completely. One of these friends I just recently ran into 18 years later!!! And we’re still the best of friends. I’m thinking at this point he probably knows not to ever go their again!!!

The way he says "Hangin' in there for...so long...". Gosh.

You hace an amazing voice. Thank you so much for all the help you give us.

I love the way Matthew's handled this. She clearly doesn't want to be friends with the guy...she's power tripping and sees an opportunity. He's debasing himself by pursuing her for 6 months. All they could possibly be is TOXIC.

Thanks Matthew this cleared all my questions about my ex! Great help!

No point, both people have to be mature and on the same page. If they genuinely enjoy their presence as human beings then sure. Sometimes two people need to step back and eventually get back together but that's not always the case.

I agree, I never stayed friends with my exes for the reasons Matt talks about...

'Is that cool?' Mathew you are amazing!!! He's stalking her and you are an amazing man! Truth!!! It's awesome. This girl is being schooled! That's good.

You cannot grow as a person, let alone. With another person. When you've got one foot in the past, and one in the present... Cut off and sever all communication with your Ex's. So you can begin healing and growing into the better version, and learn from your lessons with them. So you can move into a new relationship with both feet. Because in the end. Keeping in touch with an Ex (W/o children involved.) Is unfair for the new partner you meet. Whom has both feet present for you to get to know. I broke up with a girlfriend because of this fact alone. I told her my boundary from the get-go before we got romantic. She continued to stay in touch. I dumped her the moment it was revealed she couldn't respect that wish. Because at the end of the day, she wasn't present and in the moment with me, as her man. As much as she could have been. In turn, could not fully develop feelings, despite the Ex was dating new women.

best thing i did is just stay friends on FB if we broke up on good terms but not responded to him as often and we both moved on and he noticed that I don't reply or talk as much online, maybe once a month but we both have no lovey feelings for one another and that helped me anyways, staying friends with a good person is fine. However i had an different boyfriend who was very bad and doing drugs etc, so i didnt stay friends with him, i blocked n deleted and 1 yr later, were still not talking and im doing just fine and being healthy, cuz i dont want those kinds of people in my life.

So true. Thx Matt. This is exactly what I need in this point.

I LOVE IT when my brain works at the same pace as Matt and I know what he is going to say in response as soon as she is done talking :D

I love you and your brain and your smile.

Many discuss whether or not be friends with an ex, but I'm surprised to not see this question/topic covered: What if he or she is good/best friends with their ex? And esp. if they've hooked up with that ex again years after breaking up, but still remain friends!

Hmmm... the caller doesn't sound sincere at all .. too "put-on".. Am I the only one feelin' it?

I am THUNDERSTRUCK at how gracefully Matthew handled the interaction. That caller sounded so stupid to me, I would have oozed contempt in his place. I couldn’t do this job without becoming a ball of stress and sarcasm….

6 months after the breakup, he reached out asking to be friends again. When i saw his name on my dm, my heart broke again. It felt like pouring vinegar on fresh wounds, just worse lol I loved him, but i cant see him as just a friend.

Awesome straightforward answer...ex is ex...past is past...

LMAO poor Matthew. this girl has a lot to learn. "oh, reaaaaaally?" wtf

I understand this girl, sometimes after being strong for a while, you an feel a little bit weak and ask yourself if a friendship may work.

There are just some exes that you can't see in another way (an ex or significant other) so staying friends with them is harmful. But if both of you can get past it, then it could work (this usually requires time)

This video is 7:31 long and could have been answered with one word, NO...... Next caller please ;)

There are bunches of human beings for you to be friends with, I said this similar line to my ex before I even tuned into this video, the truth is, those dumpers who want to remain as friends are just selfish and will not be the true love. Just forget it, as soon as they find another person to fill the void they will just dump you this "friend" like a trash

Depends on the ex and if you can be truly happy for them without being romantic or manipulative I don't see a problem. If they were/are abusive and manipulative steer clear imo.

Wow! That is so helpful! Love this one!

Matthew, we all love u so much! thank u

My ex is one of my best friend right now. He is always there for me. He is in a relationship now and I am happy he is happy 😍

She was pissing me off because she knows that she over with him and told him that. I would stopped texting him if I was her because at least he was told by her leaving me alone. I was misled and kept around when a simple I’m moving on when we broke up would be nice. Now that hurts even more

What if the tables are turned and after 7 years I truly just don't want to let go of the connection we built and at the end of the day he was my best friend, and I miss that.

Matthew got angry after listening to her but how beautifully he controlled that anyway...really appreciable.

wow, I like this chanel. i like this. thank you so much for your great and optimistic answer. you are inspirated me a lots. thank you.

6 months of that is crazy? I've had an ex who even after 7 years is still trying. The problem is mutual friends...

i just discovered your channel and i love it. you give real good advice and i just hope that i can talk to you about my problem

so true I didn't think about it that way matthew. If your friends with your ex he may develop feelings for you again even if you don't want to go there at all with him. maybe I need to think about being friends on facebook with my ex.

Damn that’s some good advice, never thought about it that way

Can’t believe I even thought about this for a second every second you spent thinking about your exes another second wasted that you could’ve spent finding a better person

Wow that wase xactly my situation and just this morning (bfore watching this) I decided I was no longer going to justify myself as to why I dont respond or call back :) mathew u rock :) love u xoxo

If my husband had watched this I don't think I will have to go through all the psychological shit that I'm going through now

There are many different kinds of people out in the world. Just because YOU can see how a situation should be played out doesn't mean the person in the situation also sees your POV. It sounds like this person is very young and inexperienced in relationships, so Matt treated her as such while planting some good advice. At least you, the viewers, now know Matt isn't "making up" the women on his radio show....

Well, for the way she reacts, i guess she kept him around. He was just comfused. If you aproach someone and they act like they think it is NICE or COOL, would you get the hint that they want you to go away? Lol clueless

We are still friends, I know that he still likes me . but I don't see any wrong with that .we respect each other .

I used the response given and he just literally went ok. See you next year with a smiley emoji. I’m just a little taken aback by the response and everything else with it.. I was the dumpee and he was the one who kept suggesting friendship

"Go out there, meet new people." I wonder how this can imply during this damn corona?

Everyone receives what is coming to them

Ohh, I see myself in her. Please tell me this gets better with time, practice and patience. I came here to learn and grow. This is helpful with the comments below. Thanks (and technology isn't my strength so bare with me with how KZfaq works and all these tools.)

OMG, she's just loving the attention. You can see why they are not together. "Is this like a radio show or something?"