10 questions to ask before marrying someone | Therapist's Advice

10 questions to ask before marrying someone | Therapist's Advice | 9

Рет қаралды 81,882

Күн бұрын

I’m Shridhar, a Counselling Psychologist. I share with you 10 non-obvious questions to ask your partner before marrying them.
To watch a video on the single best advice for couples:
• This unique advice doe...
To book counseling sessions:
www.shridharlifeschool.com/co...
If you wanna support me, you can donate:
www.www.shridharlifeschool.com/do...
Apply for a job at Shridhar LifeSchool: forms.gle/VmWjMKeqzedBbCSd9
Facebook: / shridharlifeschool
Instagram: / shridharlifeschool
Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/7CZHIRP...
Twitter: / shridharchandak
Linkedin: / shridharlifeschool
0:00 Intro
0:46 Question #1 Involvement of parents in marriage
1:27 Question #2 Mistakes made in the past
2:27 Question #3 What makes you angry
3:44 Question #4 Gender roles in marriage
4:37 Question #5 How much transparency will be there
5:15 Question #6 How much time to spend together
6:14 Question #7 Behaviours allowed with others
7:26 Question #8 Individual freedom
9:02 Question #9 Non-negotiable areas
9:36 Question #10 Ready for marriage counseling?
10:29 We now specialize in relationship counseling
#Gottman

Пікірлер: 115

@satvikkhare1844 Жыл бұрын

absolute 24k carat gold content, this is much needed in any marriage talks. Major issues come in marriage when people simply assume answers to these questions from the other person.

@EagleButterfly 8 ай бұрын

Some people are clever, they answers cleverly according to us and change after marriage

@aiswaryababuraj7635 Жыл бұрын

I found these 10 questions are worth for a person to ask and get cleared before marriage who is wishing to find a suitable life partner .Thank you so much for helping me while providing informative and useful vedios like this .Please pray for me so that I get a wonderful life partner🙏I would also wish to all those who watches this vedio be blessed with a wonderful life partner .May God bless you and each and very one who reads this abundantly 🥰❤💕

@prokritiroy5055 Жыл бұрын

It’s so comforting and clarifying to watch you! Thank you for the videos

@ManpreetSingh-cj7hj Жыл бұрын

Most underrated channel , u deserve to one the most subscribed indian KZfaq channel.. honestly.. I'm literally loving ur content

@srishtijha3 Жыл бұрын

Wow, loved it, Do recommend a part 2 or a series on marriage advices

@anchalbansal7486 Жыл бұрын

One of the best videos...very informative and deep...❤️❤️

@dd-tn8ur Жыл бұрын

I must say i needed this,thanks a lot

@deepakamat1823 7 ай бұрын

Before Marriage all big and good talks. Finally As After Marriage commitment fails. Trust, respect, love, interference, ego, attitude from family, friends, relatives etc. At times toxic relationships and dealing with Narcasist. Some people never change even after 40's. That may get Married twice, thrice or may be more without any fear of disolution of Marriage.

@ManpreetSingh-cj7hj Жыл бұрын

Wow.. u are soo sane and sorted...❤

@that_ocd_guy 8 ай бұрын

Waiting for the next set of absolutely quintessential 10 questions

@avanthikaduraiswamy7023 5 ай бұрын

Excellent, no-nonsensical content. Just the kind of adviser I was searching for, but had to sift through 10 layers of shallow clickbait videos before I got here 👍

@rahulsardeshmukh8649 Жыл бұрын

Very knowledgeable & good video

@nikitafernandes461 9 ай бұрын

Thank you so much Sir for this video 💯

@archanakj8664 6 ай бұрын

All these questions are good but no one will answer the truth. Its best to understand a person than asking him these questions

@arijitbardhan4793 Ай бұрын

What a half assed form of suggestions, though the questions are good.

@saffroned3699 Жыл бұрын

Great! Very practical u Qusstions. Are there apps to look out for serious relationships apart from the usual matrimonial sites? Or bumble tinder etc.

@swetalika 7 ай бұрын

Transparency is the best policy. 👍 No secrets in relationship.

@juhichaudhary3657 5 ай бұрын

I guess these questions are good to know even before starting relationship, if a serious relationship in your mind

@barnaliadhikary9421 Жыл бұрын

Well...I am really afraid if marriage or relationship with any guy because I have simply noticed that heteronormativity is eventually about patriarchal gender role and related values and norms .. men are mostly reluctant to share equal homemaking responsibilities and child nurturing... Ego clash is a problem... family interference specially from the boy's side is nasty.... Marriage is still a patriarchal societal institution... Where many women feel suffocated but society makes us feel that as if marriage & having children is the sole way of leading a fulfilling life... But I really doubt... But may these 10 questions are significant for those who are seriously looking for a life partner and have made their minds for getting married.

@nikitafernandes461 Жыл бұрын

So true 💯💯 Patriarchy hits very hard and every man wants to have kids if a woman does not wish then

@parnalidas0 8 ай бұрын

❤

@050138 7 ай бұрын

@@nikitafernandes461having kids is nothing to do with patriarchy.... It's following evolutionary biology which has been the norm for years and eons since dawn of evolution among all the species of animals.... Equality is a more recent concept.... But nature didn't create us equal.... Having said that I strictly oppose gender based crimes and exploitation.... But there is some amount of discrimination that nature itself has shown in creating both the genders.... If there was no need for two distinct genders, we would never have evolved as two distinct genders, simple is that.... Feminism or clamoring for gender equality is not the issue.... Yes, both genders have to be empowered and independent, but realizing and accepting that there limits to that equality is the most important thing which makes a person wise....

@Terahydron 4 ай бұрын

That's because modern world has made the role of men obsolete. In stone age being a housewife was 100 Times easier than being a man But still women weren't as glamourous as now because life took its toll on us as we lived almost like animals. Especially rich households where both are capable of earning non cooperative husband can be a nightmare. So either arranged or love ,you must discuss everything in detail or if you can control your urge to be a mom you can remain single

@Terahydron 4 ай бұрын

@@nikitafernandes461no wrong not everyone wants to have kids

@PulinPegu 10 ай бұрын

Good points…however money management should have been a separate point

@urvashimishra3837 10 ай бұрын

Great content !! ❤

@mrityunjayvikramsingh4552 7 ай бұрын

5'th point ( the Transparemcy one)- Someone tells me something and it is OUR secret. Isn't it just too much?!

@dharanisairaj9426 8 ай бұрын

To a question about cooking and cleaning ❓ we must decide what we do in life based on who we are,our personalities, individual strength and weaknesses interest and finally compromising, negotiating,team work.....lol😂😅Finally concluding there is no set template there...a person should believe in his individuality, differences and variability 😂😂

@sameersami924 9 ай бұрын

What if they lie

@ayushipurohit__55 8 ай бұрын

With time, their own actions tells the truth. Take your time and Then judge. That's why we believe na 'Action Speaks'

@roastmaker1233 8 ай бұрын

your life is gone 😢

@tiffgplu2590 7 ай бұрын

90% will lie..be careful and choose wisely..don't ever rush ..or be asked too..else it's not worth it

@praveenraj-vk7hn 7 ай бұрын

Game over.

@iamunpublished 7 ай бұрын

☹️

@sandeepsomasunder3397 9 ай бұрын

What mic are you using?

@sonnaligaur1561 7 ай бұрын

I feel more like a HR interview 😂😂 I asked a boy why you want to get married there was 30 seconds silence and the end 😂😂😂😂

@amangopal7659 7 ай бұрын

Loll so truee, that's exactly what I think, I fr don't want to look like a interviewer but how to ask these questions without looking like one! Like how am I supposed to keep the questionnaire natural lol 😹

@Terahydron 4 ай бұрын

Be brave and ask. I have asked everything I wanted to. Whether she will be submissive, whether she's a virgin. Does she thinks love will fade and she will divorce or stay if we are cordial. People use excuse of culture and maturity ( right wing and left wing respectively) to defend their cowardice.

@sangeetamenon3181 6 ай бұрын

This is a great subject....however more refinement needed.If u ask them about their sexual orientation..will they be open about it? Many wont... because they hv the family pressure to bear kids...then substance abuse, undiagnosed mental health issues....there is a plethora of issues when it comes to marriage. Pre Marriage counseling should be mandatory in India.

@radhikagarg2961 4 ай бұрын

How do you bring them up in such a way that it doesn't seem like interviewing? Do they have to be direct questions or is it possible to subtly start conversations around them?

@vms_indian_with_adhd 7 ай бұрын

How to handle parents disagreements in choosing partner and marriages ceremonies?

@abhiam18 10 ай бұрын

This is perfect I absolutely agree on this. Can you please suggest 10 golden tips to survive in married bullshit where there is no way out due to kids.

@mrnobody4869 7 ай бұрын

Do what you think is right.

@nandhithanandhu9609 8 ай бұрын

Are you married??? 😅😅 Im going through this phase where Im shit scared if I'll end up not observing the red flags and settle with someone whos regressive aggressive 😅

@ChildFirst 5 ай бұрын

What questions to ask in Arrange Marriage?

@panduranga421 7 ай бұрын

Also financial freedom for couples Money management ...How and how much they spend money on things How much rights a couple should have to each others money

@juhichaudhary3657 5 ай бұрын

Also I think finances..

@mubarakhussain3031 2 ай бұрын

Parents say best for their children Please respect them and try to figure out something that will not hurt them and yourselves too

@RealRandomVideos 4 ай бұрын

What if after we share our vulnerabilities, they are used against us once we go into relationship?

@padmalatha5962 2 ай бұрын

Hi, Because of one mistake I did before marriage,I didn't talk about our salary,work life balance,our future.Now,I lost job and little anxious about leaving my child to go to work.My husband is good sometimes and sometimes is mumma boy.Expecting me to take care of his parents,with which I'm not okay with.My husband has own house but should give 5 lakhs to brother's wife and they want control on us.Specially my mil wants control on us.Me and my husband didn't talk before marriage,now I'm quite anxious about future.Please help me.

@SantoshAM 7 ай бұрын

You know when you ask first two questions and goes to third she will be like “are you taking my interview?” And walks out. That creates bad impression straight up.

@Terahydron 4 ай бұрын

Necessary step. No marriage is better than bad marriage. Remain virgin till 35 ask all this. After that try for love in relationship. Atleast 10 years before marriage. Else go to prostitutes and after you turn 50 get a surrogate mother if you feel like having kids

@srimantamukherjee5434 3 ай бұрын

1:29 Is it OK to ask someone about past relationships ? Especially in the context of arranged marriage....

@SHATRUJEET-sj7sx 3 ай бұрын

Yes

@shoul8496 5 ай бұрын

Human are capable of lying so only actions can show true self of others.

@renukaramachandran4471 7 ай бұрын

Hii sir, my husband continues to talk to his ex-girlfriend in the name of friendship... Is it ok to leave this as such or should I interfere in matter... I'm just worried please reply 😥

@abinayajayalakshmi 6 ай бұрын

Will your husband be okay of u talk to ur ex?

@harshal8956 6 ай бұрын

You should start talking to ur ex, if your husband objects show him his hypocrisy

@Terahydron 4 ай бұрын

Eww

@sangeetamenon3181 6 ай бұрын

People can lie ...and make a good impression. What if their anger makes them beat up people? Would they confess?! everything in the marriage market is a lie... possibly even the properties they own could be gifted by rich parents.. In order to make their ward eligible 😂

@user-nz2mj1vn3c 5 ай бұрын

When you ask question, there is chance to get just sugar coated answer

@buddyatnj 9 ай бұрын

Ask her if she is still continue to hang out with her guy “friends” after marriage? If she can respect his parents ? Most of the girls think her parents are the best and they find his parents sub par Can she manage household with his income?? What kind of sacrifice she is willing to make due to financial restrictions?

@050138 7 ай бұрын

Nice 👍

@anjalichawla623 5 ай бұрын

If we r going to do arrange marriage then we can't take enough time to know each other n what will we have to do in it ?

@Terahydron 4 ай бұрын

Don't Marry

@Sohammandaware 6 ай бұрын

Please make video in Hindi and (or) Marathi ,

@perfectlyfantastic Жыл бұрын

I like his questions The thing i hate (strong word regret but was necessary here ) is why do you put your assumption that your way of seeing the relationship is only way or ideal way Instead using word "common response" would have worked We understand u come from nuclear family But there might be someone from connected families and joint And there is a lot of beauty into those

@Pariperi 3 ай бұрын

I actually disagree with 5:12, it’s kinda of a red flag. I think there needs to be personal boundaries. Maturing is realising nobody knows someone completely, be it your parents/siblings/spouse etc. everyone has stuff they prefer to keep to themselves aka secrets. If someone expresses the need to know constantly know everything about their person it can Indicate a lack of trust and respect for personal space/privacy. People can be transparent but still have personal boundaries.

@1004PoojaMishra 8 ай бұрын

What if the person doesn't answer any questions clearly and not open about his family and everytime you bring these questions, he somehow manipulates and change the subject. And you end up with nothing. And adding to this your parents can't find any wrong in this situation and you feel suffocated

@user-qh4lp1yo8l 7 ай бұрын

Don't go ahead with this wedding

@050138 7 ай бұрын

Major red flag.... A guy/girl who gives answers you don't like or agree is better than someone who never gives clear answers

@ashutoshdash6350 3 ай бұрын

If she drink and smoke. And want her to quit smoking but she doesn’t want to. What should I do?

@vancedshitt6177 3 ай бұрын

Don't marry her, simple.

@focus1007 8 ай бұрын

What to do in an arrange marriage setup..? parents dont give that much time to meet or understand each other😑

@mohdfarzankhan991 7 ай бұрын

Dont do this type of marriage

@focus1007 7 ай бұрын

@@mohdfarzankhan991unfortunately, don't have any option

@mohdfarzankhan991 7 ай бұрын

@@focus1007 hogyi kya apki shadi yh nhi

@mohdfarzankhan991 7 ай бұрын

@@focus1007 single rho mast rho marriage is trap for men in todays era

@Terahydron 4 ай бұрын

Don't Marry

@pawansingh-su1hy 7 ай бұрын

then dont do marriage, seal deal for marriage and if you want god to marry you then my friend you dont need partner there is flawed in everybody, just check honesty if honest ,then go for it rest fall automatically.

@eshikajoshi5843 7 ай бұрын

All the questions to ask are so on point but I kind of do not agree with the expectation that if someone tells me a secret, then I should also share that secret with my husband! This isn't correct, someone trusted me with something private, why should I disclose that to anyone else? Including my husband?

@Terahydron 4 ай бұрын

You should share and he should forget it the very instant. Husband and wife are one entity. Their relationship comes before anyone else Siblings, children, friends anyone. That's why everybody gets married so that they have someone to share their secrets with

@Terahydron 4 ай бұрын

When my best friend got married, I stopped sharing my secrets with her. It's a given you don't share secrets with opposite gender friend after they are married. Men and women can share gender problem (periods,horniness, etc) they don't matter as everyone has them

@Terahydron 4 ай бұрын

A good spouse will never make fun of your friends,relatives etc. But spouse must have the highest tier of understanding. Means you should be ready to sacrifice your mom dad brother friend everyone for your spouse and your spouse should fight equally hard to keep them. That's why it's important to marry the one you Love and they love you back

@Terahydron 4 ай бұрын

Because sometimes mother in law can be bad and sometimes wife. It's duty of husband to take his stand if wife is right and if wife is wrong then he must leave her or suffer in a bad marriage. If you live with the assumption that marriage is temporary and not share everything it's bound to break

@aashishsethi3614 5 ай бұрын

Questions se bada dukhi hun main

@simplegirl9504 6 ай бұрын

Unfortunately! Seeing this after my divorce! Which happened just after few days of marrying a mamas boy!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭

@Terahydron 4 ай бұрын

You didn't inquire everything before hand?

@simplegirl9504 4 ай бұрын

@@Terahydron we enquired proper way! Everyone told he is very well behaved and good with everyone. 😣 Yeah he was good with others, but worse with his own wife 😖

@Terahydron 4 ай бұрын

@@simplegirl9504 he did what exactly.if you are comfortable to share

@simpleshenggay9056 4 ай бұрын

Sad😢

@Terahydron 4 ай бұрын

@@simplegirl9504 are you Indian?

@annpinheiro2918 8 ай бұрын

1. I know friend who is a judge ...she and her husband stay in different rooms not bec they dont loveveach other but bec she has to read cases and needs to study cases for the next day in court and he used to get disturb.

@sreelekshmy8951 6 ай бұрын

If i watch this video 2 years ago i don't enter into this marriage.

@MangalVivahWithMaheshPathre 5 ай бұрын

Good information Questions To Ask Before Arranged Marriage|First Meeting Questions|पहिल्या भेटीमध्ये विचारणारे प्रश्न kzfaq.info/get/bejne/rLinptd32N_JeXU.html