Signs You Have a Toxic Ballet Teacher (and what to do about it)

Signs You Have a Toxic Ballet Teacher (and what to do about it) | TwinTalksBallet

Рет қаралды 2,819

Күн бұрын

Have you wondered if your ballet teacher is exhibiting toxic behavior, or if the problem is really you? When I was younger, I definitely found myself stuck in a gray area of thinking that my teachers who just preparing me for industry standards as a pre-professional ballet dancer, so I just needed to toughen up. I don't wish the damage of that mentality on any dancer, so I made this video to help you identify toxic behaviors and equip you with steps to take if you find yourself in a situation like this.
- Kirsten,
www.kirstenkemp.com
@twintalksballet on Instagram
0:00 - 2:10 ~ Intro + Why I'm talking about this
2:11 - 4:25 ~ My story + What the real problem is
4:26 - 5:46 ~ Emotional volatility + lack of awareness
5:47 - 8:05 ~lack of responsibility
8:06 - 10:06 ~ Constantly changing standards
10:07 - 13:12 ~ The pygmalion effect, using fear, shame, and humiliation to motivate dancers
13:13 - 14:45 ~ Inappropriate use of physical touch
14:46 - 16:17 ~ Demeaning dancers for asking questions
16:18 - 18:11 ~ What to do if you're struggling
18:12 - 19:45 ~ Should you leave?
19:46 - 21:05 ~ Getting help
21:06 - 27:16 ~ What else you can do to protect yourself
___________________________________________________________________
1:1 MINDSET COACHING FOR DANCERS:
kirstenkemp.com/
As a Mindset Coach for dancers, I specifically help dancers develop a healthy mindset, rooted in confidence, that allows them to perform and feel their personal best.
Whether you are tired of insecurities holding you back, negative thought spirals stealing your joy and focus in class, or experiencing a loss of passion that has you questioning your career path as a dancer, I'm here to help you resolve these challenges and step into your highest potential as a dancer and human.
To take the next step in seeing if this support would be a great fit for you, visit my website below to apply for a free 30-minute coaching consultation today. In our discussion, we will discuss your goals, the challenges you're facing, and how we would address these things in the coaching process to help get you to where you want to be.
kirstenkemp.com/
___________________________________________________________________________________
THE MINDSET + MOVEMENT TECHNIQUE ACCELERATOR PROGRAM:
Learn more and apply for my private coaching program, the Mindset + Movement Technique Accelerator.
kirstenkemp.com/mindset-movem...
This program combines high-level technical instruction with mindset coaching in order to help you make a quantum leap in your technique and confidence.
________________________________________________________________________
DOWNLOAD MY FREE PDF GUIDE on "How To Find Your Unique Strengths as a Dancer": mailchi.mp/7e51450a0a3e/findy...
________________________________________________________________________
FOLLOW ME on Instagram or Facebook for almost daily post or stories! I share tons of mini-mindset trainings on Instagram so make sure you're following me there!
INSTAGRAM: @twintalksballet
FACEBOOK: / twintalksballet

Пікірлер: 18

@ThanosTheManos 3 жыл бұрын

It’s one thing to correct someone on their dance posture, movements, and overall performance. It’s picking on someone for their looks and weight that is downright awful. I’ve seen perfectly skinny girls get told “put your skirt back on, we can see your lunch” and the looks on the girls face is heart breaking.

@katrinaallen67 Жыл бұрын

As a dancer aiming to go professional, it’s scary. I’ve had my fair share of teachers who exhibited toxic behaviors and I’d feel like the overly sensitive one for getting upset whenever I’d be singled out or humiliated. Having corrections be given to you is one thing, but being made to feel stupid for making mistakes is another. Some of the treatment wasn’t intentional but the mental toll it put on me was all the same. It’s hard figuring out if it’s better to stay or go, especially since more often than not there are toxic teachers in the ballet world. My hope is it’ll all change. I hope companies will put their dancers needs first, be more welcoming and kind, and offer dancers a safe space to learn and grow rather than dictate over them with fear. Ballet is very behind its time, we have to say enough is enough at some point or else it’ll always be this way. We all know ballet is toxic, we shouldn’t be taking this. The love for the art shouldn’t equate to such immense abuse and sacrifice.

@hikarijacobson9179 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you thank you thank you for saying “it’s not your fault”. I’ve always known this but it’s hard to think that way when others are happy around me are happy in the situation/environment and I’m not. I feel unsafe, emotionally

@katrinaallen67 Жыл бұрын

Also, adding on to my previous comment I’m very relieved that someone else in the dance industry is speaking out about this. I can’t tell you how many times I’d feel like the crazy one for wanting the ballet standard to change and everyone around me saying “that’s just how ballet is”. Ballet is tough because it is demanding but it should never be the cause of an eating disorder or body dysmorphia or just generally feeling like a failure because your peers make you feel like the size of an ant. No one is stupid for asking questions. No one should be shamed for making a mistake. Doing well out of fear is something I’ve experienced a lot and the mental toll it’s had on me is absolutely awful. It’s such a toxic relationship thinking you’re being overly sensitive when you’re being humiliated and screamed at in class by someone who supposedly wants to see you succeed. I’m a dancer in my 20s and no matter if you’re a child or adult there should always be respect given in the studio. I appreciate your video and thank you for making me feel less alone

@isabellajranson7610 3 жыл бұрын

I didn’t realize I was in a toxic relationship with my teacher til I left . When I heard I was leaving, a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.. that has never happened with any other studio I have been with previously. I didn’t realize how much I had been manipulated, thinking I was in the wrong. Hearing these references to toxic dance teachers made me realize my teacher did almost all of them . ☹️

@tarashelby4682 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you a thousand times for this video. I was being told by the teacher how I needed to just try harder to fix something I have been trying to for 9 years and the negative things she'd heard about me as a dancer. This led me to blame myself for not being able to overcome her negative expectations while tackling depression at the same time.

@helazemni1683 3 жыл бұрын

Wow you truly impress me! The things you say about toxic teachers, even i'am not a professional dancer.... I can apply a lot of things on my regular everyday life. Maybe not exactly with teachers, but there are a lot of situations in life where the reaction can /should be exactly as you say ❤️👍🏻

@TheConfidentDancer 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much!

@kamilareeder1493 3 жыл бұрын

It took me years to admit that I had a toxic teacher during college, I feel like I wanted to feel like I had more control over the situation than I did by blaming myself totally. Once I let go of them and my reputation in the school, I was better off and my dancing was better.

@niagalicia 3 жыл бұрын

i admire you so much for making such video! I have also been in certain situations with toxic teachers and it really sucks :--(

@TheConfidentDancer 3 жыл бұрын

Thanks Dania, and I’m so sorry you’ve experienced this too 💕

@TheConfidentDancer 3 жыл бұрын

I know there is so much more to say on this subject, so I would love to hear from you, dancers. What do you think are some examples of toxic behavior? What do you do when you notice it? Let's get a productive and respectful conversation started :)

@robynsmith6974 3 жыл бұрын

I stopped ballet after 12/13 years because I would constantly compare myself to others who had perfect dancing bodies (what society says!) or perfect technique because it was something they were extremely serious about whereas I just did it as a sport along with several activities (whereas they only did one thing to focus on!). My teachers were never horrible intentionally, but there were small things that definitely hurt and made it not very enjoyable for me. It's better for me mentally and also ensures that I don't show them that I'm hurt and hurt them in the process. (it was never terrible!! I am grateful for the past few years and I would have had to stop at the end of this year when I end school anyway)

@TheConfidentDancer 3 жыл бұрын

I think the insight you shared about how ballet was not your only focus is so important for teachers and dancers to keep in mind so we can all adjust our expectations appropriately! Personally, as a teacher I really need to hear this too! I can so easily get wrapped up in MY priorities as a professionally trained dancer that I forget not everyone has the same relationship with ballet as me. It can be a constant struggle for me to adjust my expectations after 20 years of perfectionism, so thank you for reminding me to keep growing in this way too for the students like you! ❤️

@kamilareeder1493 3 жыл бұрын

Also I have a little baton with a little cork at the end , and I'll use that to point to spots on my students after asking. 👌👌 I ran it by the kids and parents and they all like this plan

@fathomswanson9510 3 жыл бұрын

I would really love to see you and Kathryn Morgan do something!!! #kathrynmorgan

@TheConfidentDancer 3 жыл бұрын

Yes! I'd love that too!

@loliglosscosmetics8012 3 жыл бұрын

Hi! I recently switched to a new ballet school but my teacher isn’t giving anyone (including me) corrections and I feel like I can’t learn and grow, and sometimes I feel like quitting but deep down inside I know that I’m not giving up just because I’m not getting corrections. I can’t really switch to a different ballet school because there’s not any other ones in my area. Can you please make a video or reply to this comment and say what I should do in this situation. Thanks