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Song and lyrics by Binyomin Miller | Produced and Directed by Tzvi Wagschal
Cinematographer -­ Yossi Wechsler
Associate Producer - Binyomin Miller
Editor - Tzvi Wagschal
Co­ Editor - Yossi Wechsler
PA - Moe Rabi
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Song Arranged and Produced by Simcha Leiner/Binyomin Miller
-Hi, I'm Skinny Pinny from Santa Fe, New Mexico,
How do I keep my figure looking like I'm anorexico?
-I’m the same as all of yous, I have a ta'avas oichel,
But you guys took it way too far, I mean, zeit mir moichel,
-But if I didn't know better I'd think you're zollel vesoivey,
Your Bubby's turning over in her grave and saying "Oy vey",
-When I see some muffins, of course I have a ta'avah,
But you can count my ribs, 'xcept for one that went to Chava,
-I don't mean to give you mussar, I don't mean to give a lecture,
But you gotta eat the healthy food, regardless of the hecksher,
-So enough with all the cholent, all the kugel and the lockshin,
Enough with all the herring and with this gooey concoction,
-Chummus, techina, matbucha, they call you the Big Dipper,
Your favorite day of the year must be Erev Yom Kippur,
-If you go on like this then G-d forbid you may just perish!
You're eating even more than what was served by Achashveirosh,
-Please put down those cookies, and please don't pick that cake up,
Your life - it needs an overhaul, look at yourself and wake up,
-You need a "Modeh Ani" - as sung by Aibish Brody,
That's actually my favorite tune to use for Lecha Dodi
-CHORUS
Why don't you search this in your browsers (Lose for autism)
Because you can't fit in your trousers (Lose for autism)
You gotta get a smaller tummy (Lose for autism)
Even though this food's real yummy (Lose for autism)
-I’ve got a beef with you, and it isn't roast,
By the time I'm done with you, you'll all be whole wheat toast,
-You should learn from our gedolim, like the Rabbi Pesach Krohn,
The Rav of Brisk, the Rambam, or the Ish Chazon,
-The Lechafetz Chaim, Rabbi Frand, or the Klei Yakar,
Or else you'll find yourself looking like a par ben bakar,
-Here's a little cholent tip from my buddy Peretz,
Instead of using fatty meat, you could put in carrots,
-And here's another tip, it's good for public or for private,
Just take one big bite - the rest will be Ta'anis Hara'avit,
-Your guf needs to do teshuva, your nefesh needs a tikkun,
You're scared to try some broccoli, that's because you're a stuffed chicken,
-You think it's not a sin? Well let me tell ya, mister,
Al cheit shechatanu with Michael and with mishteh,
-There's a reason why your pants are tearing at the seam,
You guys are looking like the sevrn cows from Paroh's dream,
-Come home with me and I shall serve you carrots in my casa,
'Cuz what you're doing here is, simply put, achila gasa,
-It's time for you to diet, quit your yellin' and your fussin',
Or else, le'asid lavo, they'll all think you're the livyasan,
-You gotta cut your menus, Chaim, Shmuel, and Baruch,
You gotta make a kitzur of your shulchan aruch
-CHORUS
Don't let anything stop or hinder (Lose for autism)
Do it for the yiddishe kinder (Lose for autism)
So couldja please stop eating Pringles (Lose for autism)
Do it for the maidels and yingels (Lose for autism)
-You made shehakol and mezonos, motzi and ha'eitz,
You ate up sixty portions, and then you ate the plates,
-You stuffed your face, you ate twelve steaks, and then you drank some gravy,
You ate enough for Re'uvain, Yessachar, Dan, and Leivi,
-You just ate a goose, and you - a whole case of,
The red, red lentils eaten by our zaidy Esav,
-Instead of eating sandwiches the size of a spudik,
Try the forty-year diet practiced by Rav Tzadok,
-I’ll tell you on your pager, on your beeper or your car phone,
Learn when to say "Dayoiy" - we don't pasken like Reb Tarfon,
-I don't think the Rabbis meant to be misleading,
When they said "echad hamarbeh" it did not refer to eating,
-You obviously keep a Brisker shiur for Pas Shachris,
That's why you have such a big reishish and an achris,
-You eat onions and salted bread, but it eats you like a cherev,
You're like my friend Binyomin Zev, baboker yochal ad erev,
-You look like Og, Melech Bashan; must we say "your highness?",
What's your favorite gemara? I bet it isn't Ta'anis,
-You've taken eating way to far! Now let's see by a show of--,
hands, who wants to be the size of Eglon, king of Mo'av?
-You're fat even for hippos, kal va'chomer for a human,
I cannot tell if you have bones, you're ninety percent shuman,
-So put away that candy from Mishpacha or Leiber,
When you daven by yourself it's like you're tefilla betzibur,
-CHORUS
Hashem will help you with your diet (Lose for autism)
Do it now if you have achrayut (Lose for autism)
You gotta lose some pounds and kilos (Lose for autism)
With some diets and lots of tefillos (Lose for autism)
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