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Ubisoft really made a pirate game with zero swashbuckling.

Ubisoft 2013 - "People seem to like Black Flag. We should make a pirate game to capitalize on that." Ubisoft 2024 - "Finally done! We dumbed down the naval combat, removed the swashbuckling, removed the story, made the world feel empty, added resource grinding, and reduced all land based interaction to a shop/quest dispensing hub. It's AAAAmazing right?"

When Windwaker has more ship interaction on a ship the size of an army cot.

ubisoft, your threat of "get used to not owning your games" would be a lot scarier if your games were worth owning.

It is wild that Ubisoft made this game, but 100x better, 10 years ago by accident.

I think Cold Take summed it up fine with their title, "10 years, For this?"

My absolute favourite thing about Black Flag was the fact that you could dive off your own ship in the middle of a close battle, climb aboard the enemy's ship, strategically cripple different parts and then swing back to your own, soaking wet and triumphantly watch their ship crumble. In this game, you cannot: - Climb their ship - Leave your ship - Leave the steering wheel - Target specific parts of their ship - Swing anywhere - Watch their ship fall apart - Get wet I think it's time Yahtzee had another chat with the folks over at Ubisoft, get the bear spray and the crowbar.

I feel like it''s worth noting that this isn't just a step down from Assassin's Creed Black Flag. This is a step down from Side Meier's Pirates from all the way back in 2004

Once again Yahtzee has to grab the axe from the closet and have a civilized conversation with Ubisoft

That ad read for a VPN at the end of the video contained more fun and engaging pirate activities than the rest of the gaaaame combined.

"Absolute Aggravated Anal Acne" is the best definition of AAAA that this game spawned.

My favourite bit was that screenshot of the ingame ad for the premium bullshit edition 'upgrade'. The pitch ended with, I shit you not, "Long live piracy!" It sure does, Ubisoft. It sure does.

Finally, Yahtzee made an obscure reference to British pop culture that I understood and it only took me 15 years of living in the UK to make this achievement.

It's been 20 years and no pirate game has ever rivaled Sid Meier's Pirates! (2004). This review has made me want to revisit that.

"yes, i do get off on making references most people won't get" I feel validated. Thank you, Yahtz

Just to clarify the stamina thing, it is hard work trimming a ship's sails. You have to hold giant ropes tight against the pressure of the wind, but on actual ships they have tie-offs so you don't have to hold the rigging and get tired. It seems in this world, where eating any kind of food instantly has the effect of a nap and 10 starbucks, they decided to scrap tie-offs.

The Demon Headmaster was always so unrealistic, cause he was just like my headmaster at school, only slightly less evil.

Forget Sea of Thieves - Sid Meier's Pirates got this all right 20 years ago! And the original had 2D graphics, but it was essentially the same game, and that came out 35 years ago!

The stupidest thing is Ubisoft literally had everything they had to make the perfect Pirate game: - Take everything from Blackflag and introduce new possible weapons to use as secondary’s like the mortar and such with different ship types with different pros and cons. - for boarding the enemy ship literally use For honor’s system of player combat, it’s already designed for multiplayer. - For the boarding victory, use Assassin’s creed Odyssey’s battle system, first faction to have its numbers lowered to 50 or less% surrenders with the loss of a player, commander or tougher opponent costing more

Making the player sign the “act good like pirates did” contract tbh perfectly sums up ubisofts disconnect with gamers and or normal humans who buy things.

That is the most Yahtzee sponsor segment ever and I am here for it

_(Starts video)_ Oh! Hang on! _(Pauses video)_ _(Grabs popcorn)_

I have to admit, that joke about "The Boy in the Striped Pajamas" was hilarious.

The only line that registered for me in the ad read is "you zoned out during the previous sentence". Love Yahtz

Black Flag is a go-to example of how to do it, but also, Sea Dogs and Sea Dogs 2/Pirates of the Caribbean came out over 20 years ago and did the pirate game thing incredibly well as well. No excuse.

Demon headmaster scared the f*** out of me when I was young..thank you for reminding me of that terror...

Funnily enough, I really liked the storms and winds in Black Flag, some fights became much more dramatic due to it. Otherwise, I just kept firing mortars to guide the enemy into bad position, speeding and circling into the back of the enemy ship. Ram them, fire a broadside, ram again, fire the other broadside, rinse and repeat. Attacking forts was also super fun. Sometimes the boarding got boring, so I would appreciate being able to fast forward it using my crew. But the scene of taking over the ship, where the enemies surrender and you choose their fate, was really fun and immersive. I specially liked the cheers as you made one of your crew the new captain of the ship you defeated.

That "island of less bos" pun is definitely the smartest one I've ever seen.

Well that ad reading absolutley killed me, just like "Doug Walker reviews the Boy in the Striped Pyjamas" 😩

Yar har, fiddle de dee Being a pirate is alright to be Do what you want 'cause a pirate is free You are a pirate!

I would argue Black Flag’s spinoff- Freedoms Cry is an even better take on the Pirate video game. You get to do all of the above, plus liberate slave ships, which why don’t we get to do more of that in video games!

"So please, gather around this barrel, and let's take it out on some mother fucking fish."

They call it a AAAA game because that's the sound you make once you realize you dropped $100 for the collectors edition.

Considering the dev conditions, im not suprised it turned out like this. Hope this was worth keeping your Singaporean tax credits, ubisoft

I love how Ramblomatic and Cold Take complement each other: Both had their own perspective on Skull and Bones, so both shows are well worth watching, even about the same game.

The "Epic Swordfights while drenched in pitiless spray" bit just gave me my first uncontrollable belly laugh in like 10 years. So thank you for that.

In my experience, there has been exactly two good pirate games: Sid Meyers pirates and black flag. Just do that with better graphics and a new mechanic or two and everyone will love it

Oh god, the end ad about Nord VPN and the reaction of the kids to the movie...christ you had me in stitches!!!

They already succeeded in making a great pirate game 10 years ago, had a rival (Sea of Theives) showing them how it's done, and this still turned out a bare, boring mess. I mean, how do you made a pirate game with no swashbuckling whatsoever?

"Here's a list of things you can do with your ship in Skull & Bones: Sail it and don't sail it.* This harkens back to one of Yahtzee's most under rated lines: "You can play as a pirate or not a pirate and you choose the second option by turning the game off and having a little sleep."

I'd say I'm surprised that a big game dev could fuck up this hard but 1) I'm not. And 2) It's Ubisoft.

Yahtzee doing a sponsored ad himself. Was not expecting this, but it was even better than I could’ve hoped for

Dear Yahtzee, I must say I feel like your Second Wind content is aptly named. I feel like it has new life and new energy. I hope you enjoy making it as much as I do watching it! Thanks man.

Now I’m not from any Latin American country, but from what I’ve heard from people who are. If you went up to the toughest kids in the cafeteria, in your Latin American public school, boasting about your knowledge of Naruto and Dragon Ball. There’s a good chance they’d accept you instantly.

Man can you imagine a world were we had this game with just tons of mythical creatures and mythical pirates to fight ghosts, krakens, leviathans the size of a a 747 just... The dream.

"In case you zoned out during the previous sentence" that was exactly when I zoned out and started scrolling the comments

This felt like a 2010s vintage ZP, I enjoyed every minute.

The good thing about this game is that it probably pushed Microsoft to release Sea of Thieves on Playstation to compete with it.

As far as I know, the ONLY game out there that actually puts the *actual* sailing aspect, in Sailing Ships, is a little indie game called *WINDBOUND* It is a sort of LoZ: Windwaker meets survival crafting simulator, with 5 increasingly harder levels of randomly generated archipelagos. The actual crafting and survival is kinda dull and the combat is horribly broken and hilariously difficult from its clunkiness and endlessly respawning enemies. But! Your little boat WILL catch the sea wind with its sails, and, depending on where it's blowing, it will either be "smooth sailing" or very grueling, as you are literally at its mercy. And you know what...? *It feels amazing* As you move up the levels of archipelagos, the sea gets rougher, the winds get stronger, there are increased chances of storms spawning, and you get more reefs to obstruct your path, as well as dangerous fauna. The integrity of your boat and your skill as a sailor are tested. Do you raise the sails and let the seas push you? Tenaciously maintaining the direction you wish to head to? Or do you lower them and catch the strongest winds possible, riding them out, even if off course? Sidenote 1: I wish Nintendo would purchase this indie company for the sole reason of using their systems and ideas for a Windwaker sequel/remake Sidenote 2: Windbound is like a 6/10 game at best, but it's wholesome and deserving of at least buying it on sale.

"Yes I do get off on making references most people won't get"😆Well here's another quote for the Zero Punctuation - I mean Fully Ramblomatic book

Excellent ad read, excellent location in the video for the ad read. It did not delay or interrupt me getting to hear yahtzee, and I was delighted to hear him do the ad read with his usual style. Thanks Nord for sponsoring this content and allowing a less corporatey and stuffy advertisement. It fits with this content nicely.

One of the few times I've actually not skipped through a sponsorship plug. Love how it's delivered in the same style as the reviews.

hoping for a semi-ramblomatic about that "first aaaa game" thing

Ubisoft has been on my blacklist since Watchdogs, they never fail to let their customers down.

I appreciate that a Yahtzee ad read is as entertaining as I hoped it would be

There is a old game called Tides of war made in 1998 that will show you how far backwards we have gone in terms of Sailing Pirate games. It had a open world map, upgradeable ship, simplified ship boarding, you could even trade with other ships, different types ammunition a campaign were you could play as the pirates and two other factions and so much more. Nothing has even come close to it and I don't know why.

The best thing to come out of Skull and Bones for me is that it made me want to play Black Flag for the first time (it will be my first entry into Assassin’s Creed). And thankfully, it’s on the Wii U, my console of choice.

Leave it to the corporate overlords at Ubisoft to take what should be a straight forward sprint across the finish line, a clear map of instructions to get to the finish line, a trail of footsteps to the finish line that they could follow, and still cock it up! Amazing.

I feel that Demon Headmaster reference was very on the Queen's Nose.

I think you perfectly illustrated one of my biggest problems with live-service/f2p mobile games. In a well designed single player game, the game loop and the in-built resource/economy system would perfectly build each other. Fights provide adequate rewards to make me stronger for the next fight, crescendo-ing into a climax. For f2p/live-service games, they stretch the resource needed to progress and usually have no discernable end-game, thus no real climax. This then portends a huge dissatisfaction in progression, pace, and payoff, culminating in "this is such a waste of my time" conclusion.

i haven't thought about The Demon Headmaster in about a decade, thank you for reminding me of the nightmares i used to have after watching it

Even watched it but still love that you dropped a reference for The Demon Headmaster.

Thank you for having the outro music not cut-off when the sponsor started.

I'm totally envious of Yahtzee's pirate-wear, he reminds me of Mr. Smee from Peter Pan.

The game "Salt" on Steam is single-A and is a ton a fun. Lacking ship depth with no sea combat but nails that Windwaker sailing from island to island exploration feel. Would recommend!

You know what would be great? A whole-ass sailing simulation. I mean, I'm not asking to adjust every line, but like, Valheim has a pretty-darn-good sailing system that takes wind direction into account and actually makes you realize why sailors hated being on the windward side of an island (which is called the lee side, because it's to the lee of the ship, and GODDAMMIT YOU NAUTICAL-- *ahem* sorry.) What I'd love is a game that makes you care about how your ship is rigged -- square rigged vs gaff vs schooner, etc. with each having advantages and disadvantages in terms of speed, handling, how close to the wind you can sail, how much a beam-on wind will make you heel over, and so on. You could look at another ship and say, "Aha, they're square rigged! We'll have an advantage if we drive them windward!" Steering to put another ship in your lee to kill their wind, altering your rigging by extending and retracting various sails while being careful not to put too much strain on your masts, pushing it into the danger zone to catch a fleeing target or escape pursuit... I think that would be the ideal version of a game like this. Not "your sail is functionally a motor, just point where you want to go lol".

When you’re more excited for Yahtzee’s review than the actual game.

“The wind changes every 10 seconds like a long term Ubisoft project”😂 Concise, witty, ads at the end. Subbed!

Been watching ZP since like 2009 this is the first FR vid I’ve watched. Yahtzee’s still got it, man. Best joke was in the AD after the video! Great job Yahtz.

I can't believe I'm sharing this video with friends for the NordVPN ad. One of the funniest things I've seen in ages.

I was so excited for this FR and Yahtz did not disappoint

I'm just here to say that I appreciate the Demon Headmaster reference.

That last joke in the credits is how we truly know Yahtzee is a dad

Bruh the gag about plopping down and bragging about Naruto knowledge has me actually rolling. I just laughed so hard in the middle of my work LOL

Thank you for your work🙏

Black Flag was pretty badass I remember those sea battles being actually challenging and it was fun to explore random islands and look for treasure.

Love the demon headmaster reference, surrounded I've heard you do a queen's nose one before so great follow up 😂

It's such a Yahtzee thing to do to immediately opt for the dark overcoat, then hurriedly swap wardrobes once he realizes everyone else is doing it.

The Miles O'Brian visual gag made me snort out coffee, thank you

0:37 This is the point that's the most mind-blowing to me about this giant pile of crap. As Yahtzee said: all they had to do was take Black Flag, cut out the Assassins and Templars, and there's your game. Amazing how ol' Yves "I still have yet to take any accountability for enabling all the actual rapists working for me" Guillemot had the gall to call this game AAAA when the only reason it actually released was because if they cancelled it the government of Singapore would sue the company into oblivion.

Best part? Disneys old pirates of caribean online thing (currently community hosted under name "the legend of pirates online") ALSO has better ship mechanisms!

Ubisoft had Black flag, Sea of Thieves, and Sid Meyers Pirates as three golden examples of how to make a good pirate game and ignored all of them.

I always forget it's thursday until I see these uploaded

I'm canadian, and I can not possibly explain to you the satisfaction i experienced telling my history teacher about how that new game on the news about assassins had a bunch of real historical context AND was made by a company in Montreal.... The satisfaction didn't age well.

Glad to see that a significant number of people remember the Demon Headmaster. At the time a friend's dad looked uncannily like him, which we all found hilarious.

"Logical opposite of a fishing minigame" is fantastic. On point 😁

"Low hanging fruit, sir?" "*sigh* Fine." "Please enjoy." "I won't."

"Especially when it turns out you don't know all that much about Naruto..." was the perfect turn for that joke.

The term "AAA" was borrowed from finance, where it meant "safe bet for investment and/or for loan". The more A-s don't mean bigger scope, it should mean "safer investment". And yes, there's the issue of current AAA games not making their investment back, since they're too expensive to make, thus they need to sell millions of copies + DLCs.

Man I’m glad I found you again Yahtzee

So happy I got the Demon Headmaster reference.

Nice to find you again Yatz. I missed ya

“Who are we? The Demon Headmaster?” Bless you Yahtzee what a blast from the past 😭😭

Never have I returned to a video just to watch the Ad at the end, but Yahtzee f***ing nailed it!!

'yes i do get off on making references most people wont get' amen

That was a pretty bloody dark sponsor spot. Kudos

I never in my life imagined Sea of Thieves would become a better pirate multiplayer sandbox than The Pirate Multiplayer Sandbox Standalone By The Company That Did Black Flag. But then again, I never imaged "EA remaking Dead Space 1 would be a better sci-fi horror game than The Spiritual Successor to Dead Space made by The Guys Who Made Dead Space" so there's lots of surprises lately.

Congratulations on the best NordVPN sponsorship plug I’ve seen in a while.

Well done. The only VPN blurp I actually did not mind was in video