"Gets beaten up by Muslims" I spit out my drink and almost pissed myself at that line.

A decade later, people won't care about these new movies. The originals are still loved, and even the prequels are still popular.

"Is he a hero yet? Nope....gets beaten up my muslims...actually..what? Oh, sorry...sandpeople. What's the difference?" This is just bloody brilliant.

“The Star Wars equivalent of Columbine” is the best thing i’ve heard all week.

I hereby declare Disney's Star Wars non canon.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi. Not so much a "passing of a torch" as it was the "raping of a corpse"

This is what happens when you give children trophies for being failures.

"And already, Disney have planned the next trilogy, because cocaine isn't cheap. Isn't that right, Daisy?"

"Space Columbine" is how I am going to refer to Kylo Ren from now on.

I feel sorry for mark. He’s the only one that gets Star Wars and yet he wasn’t listened to at all

Poor Mark Hamill. You can actually see his soul getting sucked out of his eyeballs

"Nope, gets beaten up by muslims." LMFAO! Damn dude you got some great lines!

"raped in a ditch by Ryan Johnson" The most succinct and accurate summation of this dumpster fire as I have seen.

Did Kathleen Kennedy just assume the gender if the Force?!

feel kind of sad for Mark Hamill the way he look at the end :(

The worst thing about the Kylo and Snoke bits is that Kylo went from respecting Snoke and calling him wise in The Force Awakens to killing him in Last Jedi just because Snoke made fun of his mask.

I just hate how politics seeps into everything. You can't criticize Mary Sue Rey without being called a misogynist and a sexist.

The quality of your content is way beyond your subscriber count.

The other director was "let go" or "replaced" for "creative differences" TRANSLATION: The other director was fired because Kathleen Kennedy wasn't getting her way.

Disney botched Star Wars - They literally places a 4 billion dollar check in the toilet and violently shat all over it - then flushed it away

Mark's face at the end says it all.

A training montage with Luke and Rey would have really helped The Last Jedi. Luke didn't train Rey at all, because she was born perfect. Rey was a full fledged Jedi when she came out of the womb, because..... GIRL POWER!!!!!

"Property of Harvey Weinstein." Hahahaahahahaha !!!

I remember when they killed the EU. I instantly said “and nope”.

"having mistaken the planet'salt for cocaine" ...ahahaha

This review crushed every argument I've heard from the fanboy defenders. This was the most brutal savaging of a movie that I've ever seen.

Mark Hamill was Luke Skywalker for 40 years and they completely destroyed his legacy in like... 15 minutes of screen time?

OMG the ending!!! Hamill’s face & reaction, all to the tune of ‘Mad World’ Genius.

"Beaten up by Muslims." As a Muslim, let me just say this...Bahahaahahaa!!! That's the funniest thing I've heard all year. Good one, mate.

"Having mistaken the planet's salt for cocaine." Aaaaaaaaaaaand subscribed.

Ruin Jonhson to Mark Hammil: Ha ha, what a story Mark!

I enjoy these critique posts more then the actual movies.That is telling and indicative of just how lousy movies are now. If it’s Disney,it sucks.

"Disney are already planning another trilogy because cocaine isn't cheap"- actually made me lol

"...and can use her overbite to open beer bottles." I'm dying.

Hope you are doing well professor! Don’t worry about regular uploads. Quality of your videos are phenomenal. Waiting for your videos is worth it’s weight in gold! Take care of your health. Hope you do more live streams. Loved them too.

13:50 actually no Han's estranged wife is from the new Disney stuff, also while the Luke clone thing sounds silly it's actually part of a really good story

Fuckleberry Finn. That is just hilarious.

I'm glad I'm not the only one that sees that the real problem here is Kathleen Kennedy.

No wonder they made the expanded universe "non-canon". They could only DREAM to make something so unique and creative.

*The Star Wars Equivalent of Columbine* This made me laugh harder than it should have, subscribed!

“Dangerously high intake of soy and avocados.” 😂😂😂👍🏻

And people complained about the prequels, at least they made sense. I'm sorry, but why would a character that refused to kill his evil father but try to kill his nephew because he may turn bad.

To add insult to injury multiple things were directly ripped off of EU legends and Rian said he came up with them himself even though they had been around for decades before in books and comics. They destroyed several iconic characters along the way. And they had the Gaul to call us sexist and racists for not liking the movie even though many of us loved the female characters in the EU such as Mara Jade who fans have been begging to be made canon and Lando a smooth as silk black smuggler is one of the most franchises most beloved characters.

"Mannequin Skywalker" I love this channel

#NOTMYLUKE

"melting sugar daddy Snoke" Bless your writing.

How did I miss this hilarious (and brilliant) review?! Subscribed! Please do more when possible! Thank you.

The prequels do have acting and CGI issues and some unfunny humor, but the reason why they got such a backlash is because BACK THEN Star Wars wasn't such an expanded lore phenomenon, they were just three highly regarded classics and the prequels were indeed a downgrade, added by the fact that people felt like they had their own ideas for how the history pre-Original Trilogy was. However, as the prequels came and went, the lore of Star Wars got bigger with new environments and characters and real Jedi history and establishments. And even if they had haters, there's no denial that this added lore sank in and generally the vast majority of the SW fandom accepted it and rolled with it, especially with all the new Expanded Universe stuff set in the prequel era and so on. So in 2015-2017, Star Wars is no longer just three classic movies, it's a big lore and many fans are attached to that lore. George Lucas needed help with polishing the writing and how to direct the actors better, and if executed better, people would've embraced the stuff the prequels added more easily. On paper, even if flawed the prequels do stay consistent to the core of the Original Trilogy, over the years people calmed down and a new generation of SW fans that grew up with the prequels in their Star Wars entertainment accepted them and overlook their flaws more easily, people like Thor Skywalker for example go in-depth about the lore the prequels added and how it works in the overall big picture of the Star Wars saga. And what do the new films do? They pretty much ignore or twist around the lore, and they just do a rushed piss poor job at it. Do they have better acting and effects than the prequels? Yeah, but guess what Prometheus also has great acting and effects, and it's still a poorly written insulting mess if you watch it with your brain turned on. I'm afraid The Last Jedi isn't gonna go down like the prequels, it does not add new lore, it just poorly handles the characters from the Original Trilogy and it regurgitates an Empire vs Rebellion scenario, with dumber bad guys who have no idea how to conduct an army and extremely frustrating heroes. The Last Jedi is a broken movie from the core, it has massive flaws writing-wise. They managed to surpass the prequels, this is why SW fans and even casual viewers are so mad at it. It's not a conspiracy, it's just a boring frustrating mess of a film. The plot is simple, and yet Ryan Johnson managed to make it messy, boring and nonsensical. Add insult to injury, Carrie Fisher is dead, so yeah, this fucking rubbish is the last we'll see of Leia (using deleted scenes for the next episode means nothing, the character won't do anything important anymore). EDIT: Even if it came out in the late '90s and early 2000s, people would still complain "Why the fuck does Luke act like this after the last time we saw him? Why does nobody do anything that makes strategic sense? God what a shit script!" For as much as people loved to paint George Lucas as a greedy clueless hack who only cares about money, it's ironic how Lucasfilm and Kathleen Kennedy are living up to that by treating the franchise so poorly and pumping out new films every year to milk the Star Wars brand instead of taking their time to write great movies that use all the lore to combine it into something neat or come up with new stuff and do it as well as possible. They have all the resources to get the best writers on the field whether SW writers or professional movie writers, and instead they do rubbish like The Last Jedi and Solo. No, fuck off cunts. I don't give a fuck if you got practical effects and "themes about family" give me a well written film.

I bow to those who predicted this when the sale of Lucasfilm was announced. You were right. Sadly, you were right.

Luke fades away like a hot fart. LOL! So accurate!

You can’t tell me that “Luke drinking green breastmilk” scene wasn’t RJ trying to sh*t on Luke Skywalker because he hates the character. And props to Mark Hamill for being a true professional and doing everything this awful script asked him to do. He must’ve read that scene and nearly had a stroke.

I have such respect for Mark Hamill for speaking out and not 'working' us. The Luke Skywalker character development was about as bad as it could have been.

This movie is a sign of the times.

It’s because Disney has a political agenda and I am moving on. Star Wars is dead.

‘’Snoke is basically the Emperor in gold’” You called it back then you bloody genius.

Omg, I had to stop this several times cause I was laughing my ass off!!! Fades away like a hot fart?! 😂😂😂 I'm Rollin!!! Keep up the fantastic work!!! I'm gonna try and finish listening to this review!!! 2 freakin funny!

*"PROPERTY OF HARVEY WEINSTEIN. DO NOT REPLICATE"* 10/10 Couldn't have asked for more.

They killed Star Wars. In fact they killed it then took a shit on it.

I'm at work listening to this on my headphones. I was eating peanuts, and at 10:45 I sort of snorted and choked, and half a peanut went up the back of my nose. My coworkers must have thought I was dying.

You know, this is actually a great review.

I think it's hilarious that Daisy Ridley has resorted to saying it's sexist to call Rey a "Mary Sue"... lmao. When all other bullshit defenses have failed you, resort to the victim card, of course... Even if her character was a boy it'd still be the same criticism, the same problems, regardless of whatever the male term for it would be, "Gary Sue" or whatever you prefer.

"Beaten up by Muslims" I mean Sand People - what's the difference?" poop my pants funny

The fact is Star Wars just isn't special anymore. Utterly soulless.

Totally fucking epic review. Brother you seriously deserve a million subs.

R.I.P STAR WARS

Kathleen Kennedy seems like a real egomaniac, every time you see her it's just like she wants to use Star Wars for own self-aggrandizement.

“With 120% more nihilism” 😂

all those creative differences probably could've made a better movie.

I agree about Rey. Such a boring character due to there being no development with her, no where for her to go as she's already perfect. As for Finn, even the writers don't seem to know what to do with him. Yet they then add yet another pointless character in Rose. The utter idiot who crashes her ship into Finn, potentially killing him in an attempt to stop him killing himself. I guess if she saw a guy about to jump off a bridge she'd shoot him to stop him killing himself.

Thank you for being willing to identify Kennedy’s feminist agenda.

Whenever I see that clip of Mark Hamill staring dead-eyed into the middle distance, slowly turn towards Mr Smoothbrain Roundhead, you can very, VERY easily imagine him about to suddenly and violently wrap his arms around his neck and throttle him for what was done to Luke

"Snoke is just the emperor in gold" Well you were right about that, apparently

This is by far the best review i have seen for the last Jedi, accurate, cohesive, funny and it lasted the correct amount of time almost the antithesis of the film itself. This was almost like a mini condensed Plinkett review, the view count is way below what it deserves.

"Star Wars equivalent of Columbine"... 😂😂😂

God this puppet has me in stitches. Something about the posh voice just creases me up every time man 😂

On craggy island 😂😂 ...now I can't unsee it ..and have" my lovely horse" song stuck in my head

Mary Sue is a projection of a heroism that could only come from lazy cowards. The hero's journey is not some artifice of writing, it's the way anything is done in life. You find a problem, you try to solve it, and you keep on failing and getting back up until you get good enough to solve it. That's how everything in life works, whether it's a career or parenting or trying to figure out why your computer is acting weird. And it's especially how things work when you're in a life or death situation with high stakes. Disney's Star Wars executives and Kennedy have no conception of what real courage or what even real struggle is. That's why a hero's journey doesn't even occur to them.

"She can use her overbite to open beer bottles" made my day.

'I wish I was making this sh1t up.' Absolutely brilliant critique sir! We need to see much more of Professor Tosspot.....sheer brilliance.

Damn... that ending. Seeing mark hammill in physical pain like that hurts my soul

"Carrie Fisher is on the rebel base, having mistaken the planets' salt for cocaine, so now the stakes are high." I had to stop the video to laugh at that😂

I wish I had paid to see this instead of The Last Jedi.

This is the funniest rip on new SW saga i’ve seen so far. Not sure why it took so long to show up in my feed...

It perfectly represents feminism. They want everything now and free.

"Raped in a Ditch by Rian Johnson" I lost it.

To the maker of this video: You Sir, are a legend. You articulated precisely the debacle that is Disney Star Wars. If you ever happen to be in the Whitney Bay area, I will buy you a pint.

Remember, it was JJ Abrams who wrote Rey as a Mary-Sue. Rian Johnson simply doubled down on JJ's shallow storytelling.

And now 2 years later the next movie is set to be even shittier than this garbage was

The best damn review on the internet!!!! I am laughing so hard my sides hurt. You nailed it!! OMG!!! Using her her overbite to open beer bottles!!! I thought it was just me! You just got my sub!

As an old fart puppet who complains about Star Wars, I approve of this review! Subbed.

That last shot of Mark Hamill with that look on his face, like he's bearing witness to see something he loves getting eviscerated right before his very eyes and nothing he can do...broke me down and I started tearing up! Goodbye Star Wars you'll be deeply missed...GODDAMN IT!!

Oh my god, Pipeman has opened my eyes! Rey is Luke and Leia's Incest Child! It explains why Rey was sent to Jakku to die, why Han left and went back to his old ways, why Luke tried to kill Kyle Ben (he must've found out, and he hated Han for not taking him away from Luke and Leia), why Rey has so much force power. And I mean, come on, those are some subverted expectations. Pipe Man Blessed.

“The movie is bollocks” Glad to see someone call it like it is.

Rip and tear, until it is done.

Star Wars: The Last Time I'll see a star wars film in the theaters

"Gets beaten up by Muslims..." caught me off guard and made me choke on my blue milk

At the end, Mark Hamill's expression reminds me of sad Ben Affleck.

PROPERTY OF HARVEY WEINSTEIN DO NOT REPLICATE roflmao

15:14 "Good ol' nepotism." Oy vey!

Does anyone find the irony in an anti-capitalist message existing in a movie produced by DISNEY?