This channel is phenomenal. Raw, emotional, eye-opening. Society generally looks down on homeless people as the lowest of the low and it’s an absolute shame. People like this man had everything stacked up against him. He was molested, his own father got him on drugs, and he was abused. We need to find a way to help broken people like him.

His story is probably the saddest I've heard, so full of despair but, as long as he has breath, there's hope and he shouldn't give up.

I wish we could touch people sometimes and give them quite, stillness and love. Good luck traveller.

This channel has made me appreciate I had a happy and safe childhood.

Brutally brutally honest. Rawest confession I've ever heard.

I’d definitely like to see a follow up with this dude. He’s either going one way, or the complete opposite.

This one was heavy man. Very heavy.

"I'm enjoying the negativity, because its what I'm used to" That speaks volumes.

I was molested by my grandpa when I was a kid. Was in active addiction for over 15 years. Finally over 2 years clean. I know how he feels. Prayers to you brother.

He’s so much better of a person than he’s able to give himself credit for.

My problems are small.

"Do you feel talking about it helps you or hurts you?" -- such a powerful and empathetic question by Mark. He gets it.

I was pretty depressed at one point. I kept seeing my doctor every 1-2 weeks, and I’d come to her with something new I thought was wrong with me. One day she said to stop trying to find things wrong with myself and focus on the good things instead. I didn’t even realize I was doing that until she said it. I hope he gets help ❤️❤️❤️

My mom said whenever someone say they’re gonna do something, believe them. He need serious help. God bless his soul.

I was sexually abused as a child. You do not have to be that person. You can make a change buddy. Don't give up. You are a beautiful person.

John doesn’t realize, he’s already hit his own self-destruct button...

You are in my prayers John you going get through this , you not alone. People are going through this with you we have your back

Dont feel ashamed john because someone took advantage of you and stole your Innocents , i hope that your life gets better and you find the hope you need and you have a relationship with your son. Keep fighting for your life because your worth it. 💗

It’s so sad when you see people who are so broken, hurt, and beat up to the point where they don’t have hope, they don’t want help, they usually just want it all to end because they can’t see that this is a better side of life than what they are living... it hurts to see. I hope this man can get some help and eventually get his life back on track.

He is the epitome of a tormented soul. Poor kid 😢 I hope you do a follow-up with him in the near future.. I'm curious to see where he'll be psychologically and physically

I know addiction, and I know what it's like to only be happy when you're miserable.

This is a warning, or, he is giving a warning, either way I hope someone is listening

I don’t know if you’re ever going to read this, John. Only you can know whether or not you’re gay. I can understand how you feel confused, and angry. It seems like it weighs pretty heavy on you. The question to ask yourself is... do you find men attractive? The fact that you have a physiological response doesn’t necessarily mean your gay. It just means sex feels good. It’s not like you ever had a chance to decide your own boundaries. You were dragged over that line, long before you could even understand the consequences. You don’t have to let all the crap that has gone down in your life define you, or your sexuality. Addiction leads us to places we really don’t want to go... but there we are. Dissociation is kind of a blessing because it insulates you from... everything, but it cuts you off from the good also. I get why your skeptical about therapy. I share that doubt, but I also know that there are “qualified” people out there. You deserve a break from the cycle of abuse, which has never let up since it began. The hard part is you’re the only one who can do it. Please try.

“I’m enjoying the negativity...:” truest statement ever. It’s sometimes way more comfortable and easier to feel negative and be attracted to negative situations then feeing joy or choosing more positive experiences.

This guy needs immediate psychiatry, meds and therapy. His mind is a tornado of negativity yet in the core he is selfless. He has a chance once we can get the drugs out and the meds and CBT in. I know he will make it through and reunite with his son!

“I’m enjoying the negativity, because it’s what I’m used to.” I felt that, as someone with treatment-resistant depression and borderline personality disorder.

He talks about how no one cares, no one listens. But you listened and you asked him questions. His heart probably feels less heavy because you interviewed him

He's confusing trading sex, for attention and intimacy. He wants love and kindness. Needs to accept help before he self combusts. Good luck John

John is crying out for help...I'm so glad that he ended up on the right Channel, with the right person, that is actually listening and always willing to help...Yes Mark...you and your kindness, compassion and generosity, Shines throughout... Thank you for all that you do...your Heart is in the right place...I hope John comes back soon and I hope he accepts the help, you had offered... Stay Safe n Blessed...

I've met a lot of people in jail like this. Involuntary commitment where he'd be able to detox safely and get some time to think about life choices would do him well. I've seen a lot of people come around and actively seek help when they've had that time to think. Unfortunately most correctional facilities are still in the dark ages of incarceration for punishment, showing little interest in helping those who have potential. I hope this guy finds help and gets on the right path.

You're aboslutely no loser, your honesty alone makes you better than 90% of humanity. It's so sad how much love he has missed I cannot imagine how his day to day is, I'm happy he has a brother with him at least, perhaps the most darkness I have heard a person carry. I hope he can keep it in or at least don't take it out on good people, wish you the best, John!

His back story is almost identical to my ex boyfriend who was also a heroin addict that lived on skid row at one point.

He mentioned having a dog, I hope he doesn't take his anger out on her. I hope he gets help.

I was in that same spot 4 years ago now i have a house that i own

I hope John is able to find peace, so he can pick up the pieces of his life and start rebuilding. He’s a lot brighter/smarter than he realizes. He says if he had a self destruct button, he’d push it. I think his insecurities and feeling like a failure allows himself to self destruct prematurely. If he applied himself 100% and stuck to some goals, he’d start to see some growth

This did something awful to my heart.

I don't know if you'll see this John, but just from this Interview I can tell how much of a compassionate person you are. I am sending you all the love and positive vibes. I struggle with depression as well so I felt every word you said on a personal level. I hope you find your son and get on the right path, you deserve it.

He is completely honest. I hope he finds some peace. That feeling of despair is so painful.

This interview in my opinion is totally about relationship with family, friends, drugs, self and society.

This guy should be a writer, he is very poetic in a beat fashion with his speech.

Update on my brother Johnny, he’s still alive, we have some contact monthly, he was in jail for a while. Still not sober but he’s alive and talking to family again. Also got some help on his homicidal ideations so he’s not a threat to society.

When I was a junkie a random guy came up to me and said he could tell I had demons in me. He prayed over me and I felt them leave, I cried so much, from that day forth I have been away from the drugs and dark thoughts. I’m telling you 12 years of pain, lifted by a strangers prayer. I wish I could give him a hug and pray with him. I’ve dealt with the demons, they are real, Jesus saved me.

It is a mother's responsibility to protect her children, no matter what the situation is. I became a single mother, product of a divorce at age 31. I was in the prime of my life...great career, healthy child, slender, still had my looks. I have also been an avid reader. I was aware of many articles being written about stepfathers violating a woman's kids (boys AND girls) and also things kids are exposed to when a caregiver isn't paying attention. I have a son that is 2 years older than John. When I reflect on the differences between these two young men, I am VERY sad for John. I personally passed up a lot of offers for dating. I was very picky about whom I would mix with. I only introduced 2 people to my young child. Only one of those 2 was allowed in my house and we had a long-term relationship. He was a father of 4 and a good Dad. My relationship did not work out, but both my son and I were safe. This was my #1 top priority. I would have pulled a nutty if anyone hurt my child. He was my focus. I also had my parents that were very protective of their grandson. I am sorry to say...John was doomed from the start because he didn't have this same safety net. That critical time has passed. It is now up to him as an adult to take control of his life. I pray that he comes across some mentorship, someone that really cares about providing him some guidance in life. I know his statements of wanting to hurt others is harsh, but it tells me he still has a moral compass because he wants to hurt people that hurt others. John, if you are reading this...I am so sorry for your rough start in life. You did not deserve that. And I do no feel you are gay. I will be including you in my prayers. You are a good young man. Don't let the continual disappointments in life form whom you are. Keep your chin up, reach for something better for yourself.

oh my heart aches for you, you are such a sweet loving soul. I hope that you meet someone one day who will show you what real love is.

That last breath when he was fighting tears is what made me choke up the most. Such a precious soul being broken by it's circumstances. Life truly isn't fair. Hope he'll find a way out of his misery. Someone that shows him how special and loveable he is.

I hate that I have the ability to understand his deep pain. You got this baby! Fight, fight, fight. You have so much potential! Dont give up. I am 25 and have been sober from heroin/fentanyl for four years. It is a difficult fight but, once you find your self worth and love, you will be successful

I feel his transparency and pain. Thanks for sharing Love. You have to believe things can get better. Mark I appreciate you sharing these stories that we don't want to acknowledge right here in our own communities. They always bring down off of my perch. It's closer than we concede.

Wow... I've never watched one of these videos where my chin hit the floor... I feel so bad for him! This is heartbreaking😥

I hope he reads the comments. Thank you Mark for letting people talk. This makes people feel less alone. At least i feel like that watching this man. I hope you get some peace John.

I wish I could hug this man and tell him he is beautiful and should never ever give up the trauma that he has been through really touched me I do hope he gets some help before he commits a crime because he is chemically unbalanced I hope Mark can speak to someone so that they can help him before he actually does kill someone

Although his honesty is commendable, he needs to be institutionalized. He is outright saying he has thoughts of hurting others. Now if or when he actually acts on it we'll look back and say how it was preventable. There's a ton of psych meds out there, when one fails another can be prescribed until the right one hits. He needs to be off the street away from the type of people that trigger him.

I wish meditation classes / yoga classes along with free hot meals bc sometimes an attitude change can come from having something to eat & just taking a a breath

May god come close to this man and watch over him and hopefully guid him down the road with help love and positivity ❤️🙏

The greatest thing about doing these videos is that you see that So many strangers who really care about you John. I hope things get better for you. 💜

He has some very intelligent insights. You're very smart but you are in a hole where you need professional help in order to break out of the cycle.

I really respect the honesty these people are willing to give, I love this channel, I'm always amazed by people like this

Living with guilt, regret, anger, embarrassment, he desperately needs mental help.

This is my fucking brother. Oh my fucking god. I’ve been watching this channel for so long and now I finally see my brother on it I’ve been waiting for this day.

I'm honestly speechless hearing this interview makes me so grateful to have found recovery.

John you have so much potential. It seems like you’ve been failed by everyone who should have been there for you. There are good people in this world. People who will love you. Please don’t quit. Try again to seek out help, I bet Mark would be happy to help give you some direction. ❤️

John is wearing his pain as an armor. Drugs surely exacerbate depression. Hope he finds the support he so desperately need

John 💔, so sad. 💔 Mark I believe this is the first time I’ve seen you interview someone that seems so unreachable, and despondent 😭 ... There is still hope for John 🙏🏽... Thanks for inviting him back, I think because of your empathetic nature he will return and really open up... relax, and accept the help he so desperately needs 😢

This poor soul is an immediate danger to others and himself. He needs help ASAP or this is going to end terribly. He cannot get himself out of this alone.

Wow... this poor guy😕 He’s so focused on the negative things in his life (which is understandable) but he can’t see the potential within himself. My heart goes out to him. I hope you find peace sweetheart🙏🏽♥️✌🏽

This interview broke me... I send you a big hug, John.

This guy is the definition of a tormented soul. He is a danger to himself and others. I hope he finds the peace and help he needs before he hurts himself or someone else.

is john still alive? this is the most painful one i heard out of a 2-3 dozen. thinking about killing yourself every day and killing others. that's not living. he is such a sensitive soul and those, unfortunately, are often targeted to abuse

Dude is dangerous, everyone has so much empathy but I know men like him and he's not safe to be around.

Wow !! This guy has made some disturbing intentions so horrifyingly clear 😳🤔 I really hope & pray 🙏he seeks help!

Oh my Mark, this one was scary! I hope he is ok today and got the help he so desperately needed. It is. Sad world. Prayers for him and all others who suffer.

God bless this man. I am so sorry so many people have disappointed you. It was so upsetting to hear how these professionals and the rehab center that kicked you out. How is what they're doing helpful? They are part of the problem. Sometimes the ppl you expect to help don't. They're the complete opposite. That being said, there are still some good people out there who do things with their heart. Mark is one of them. Please don't give up on yourself. Youre deserving of everything this world has to offer. All the good. And there is good out there because I see it in you.

Please don't sell your dog John. She lives for you and loves you unconditionally. You need each other. You'll get through this. It will get better. All the love in the world from Italy 🇮🇹. You are worth it.

This is heartbreaking

Such a raw honest interview... It's breaks my heart. I hope this young man finds his way because he has so much potential.

This has become one of my favorites. I have so many connections and parallels to his life, its insane!

Mark I would love to see an interview with yourself talking about what’s next for you after these kinds of interviews and how you cope with it all etc.

As a child I remember throwing tantrums at my parents for not getting me the latest iPhone that some of my classmates had and I thought I had the worst life ever watching these videos make me truly realize how truly blessed my childhood and present life really is.

I feel for you John, I hope you get through this you have great real insights I hope your life gets better and you can ease into joy a bit. I can see how you are confused . I think you have a good head . Watch your interview it might give you insight . Stay strong

This is another amazing interview! Broke my heart though. I feel so much for John. He has had a very rough go of it. I hope he is able to want and get the help he needs. Please don't give up John - You are worthy and worth it! You have so much to offer to this world. Hang on, and understand that there really are good people in this world, and they will help you if you just ask for and accept that help. There is so much Love in this world, and you deserve that love. You have so much Love to give too. So please hang on and just try to see the light that's out there. Please try and give sobriety, and mental health treatment one more honest try. If not for yourself, then do it for your son. No matter what - he deserves to grow up knowing his father, and with his father in his life.

I think he has so much potential to do better in life, heal and be happy. I really hope this happens for him and that he reconnects with his son 🙏🏻❤️❤️

"we probably turn our backs to each other than shake hands" damn that was crazy

He is a sweetheart, - it's too much, overwhelming too much. No wonder he is where he is at. A lot of empathy and love is needed.

Very intelligent John. I know I state the obvious but therapy and rehab will of course lead you to a stable life , I see you as a helper for others who have suffered like you . You have a lot of potential. Wishing you health and peace .

Hey John I'm located in Los Angeles and own a concrete pumping business in construction i would like to help you out with a job and getting sober if you read this respond back

Can we get a Follow up video or update on him? Such an interesting video, clearly a very traumatized and sick individual. Hopefully he has received help for his mental health issues and trauma.

John is brutally honest and lays it all out for everyone to see. A child's being abused, not feeling loved, not having security, lack of trust, etc can spread like a disease over their life....pulling them down into darkness. I really hope John gets the help he needs. John's pain is heartbreaking.

John. You are loved by those you have yet met. Your words are going to help someone you may never meet. Keep pushing and know you are worthy and you are capable to be one with your true self.

I wish i could hug him, this interview got me...

Crappy child hood therapy here on KZfaq taught me how just talking about it doesn’t help. A lot of people afflicted like this young man. Need to be taught tools & have ressources to battle THE ROOT of all these emotions. People are not sad for years or angry every morning for no reason. It’s true when they say whatever age you get traumatized at your brain mentally stays there... so that’s why I think showing compassion & teaching them these valuable tools to recognize their wounds, and navigate their way through life.

My heavy heart goes out to you John! I hope you make peace with your demons, I hope you can get clean, I hope you clear things up with your son’s mother and have the opportunity to be the best father you can to your son, I hope you get and accept long-term help, I hope you end up with people in your life who make you feel loved and like you’re important and will keep you on the right path. I really do want the best for you, you’ve been through too much in such a short life.

John- I think you're a gentle soul. You have just developed coping mechanisms to cope with your past traumas, which don't serve you anymore. Working through your past experiences in a supportive environment Will help you to heal from them x

I was suicidal for almost a decade...my last attempt left me in a coma. Waking from that coma...all I remember thinking was how glad I was to be alive. Since then, I've been treated medically for an assortment of mental illnesses / disorders, and haven't been suicidal since. Without medical intervention, I would most definitely be dead. Still depressed, still agoraphobic, still bipolar and BPD, OCD, PTSD...but the constant urge to die eventually subsided, even though my life if still kind of miserable. Still have manic episodes though where suicide will still cross my mind...but it's not so intrusive or constant as it was before. I hope he seeks help before he hurts himself or others.

I hope talking it all out loud brings him some peace.

I see so much potential in this young dude, his honesty makes me like him so much, I totally relate to his way of thinking too, he just needs a bit of help from the right person

Good luck dude You're intelligent, articulate and a good guy.Take the step and clear your head a little, it won't take much to turn things around. I wish you well.

"I was showing weird signs that something wasn't right, and instead of fixing it they shunned me", "sex with anything", and alluding to "the abused becoming the abuser"... I wonder if he (or any of the other people Mark has interviewed that experienced childhood sexual abuse) have ever exhibited any sexually abusive behaviours toward children. It's such a common cycle that it's hard to think none of them have.

John...you have pressed that ' self-destruct button' . Many times. You are still here , for a reason. That reason is your child. Look for the light, buddy. Follow it. Do anything to find your way back into your kids life. It can only get better. You can do it. You are worth it. ❤️❤️❤️🇨🇦☕️☕️

My heart hurts. So many like him out there. He is on the brink now- he can change his life for the better- or he will continue down the path that sadly but definitely will lead to death. In limbo. I hope we get an update somewhere down the line

Thank you so much John for sharing your story. It's not your fault. You have the right to be happy. Please try and think of what you would like, maybe then you can find a way out of this shit. Try to start and love yourself, you're young, beautiful and very intelligent. Love from Spain

This kid breaks my heart. Obviously he's been tormented for most of his life and is now a product of that pain. He needs to see a doctor that can help.