I’ve known Chris Phillips for 6 years. We were great friends in Mississippi, and even though he has schizophrenia, that never changed the way he treated me. We always talked about music, ghosts, Magic the Gathering, and other things. One day he said he was moving to California, and just vanished for two years. You have no idea how great it was to just randomly hear from him on Facebook again. We talk all the time and pick up exactly where we left off. Miss ya, Chris. Come home soon so we can play Magic. Thank you so much for letting my buddy tell his story

He said “just weed” but weed TOTALLY will trigger psychosis in those of us who are prone.

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

I worked on the psych ward in Florida for 25 years. Chris, you’re one of my people and I feel like I know you. Take care of yourself, I wish you the best.

I know Chris personally. I was the boss he vacationed with to Vegas. Chris lived with us for the last year before he fell into psychosis. He asked if I'd take him to the store on Christmas Eve night 2019 in Vegas. He got out of the car while talking on the phone with his brother & walked away into the night after a year of living and working together every day. The last thing he said to me that night was that he wasn't going to go down as a pedophile, as if I had accused him of it, which I hadn't. We literally went from talking about sodas and chips to alleged accusations of pedophilia, then he was gone. He told me years later that he went behind the gas station, then took off running toward the strip. That was the true beginning of Chris' psychosis. We never knew he was struggling as we drove cross country on vacation. He never told us what he was going through. We also never saw him again. Chris contacted us 2 years later in early 2023 when he was in "the program", but we haven't heard back from him for a few months since earlier this year. Glad to see this, and that he's alive. People may just see a crazy person, but we know Chris and how smart he is. While he's definitely different now, it's still Chris and it's clear that he knows who he is. What has happened to this man is a tragedy, given his potential. Thank you for verifying our friend is ok. It's the only clarity we have now.

It's amazing how on-the-line he is between his delusions, reality, and his own self awareness. I pray he's able to gain control of it and remain able to know what's real and what's in his mind. He definitely seems like a good guy under it all, unfortunately things like meth and staying up for days on end aren't going to help him at all. Would love to see a follow up of this guy in the future

This is so dam sad, praying for Chris fr. Im 25 and also have schizophrenia; he needs to stop doing drugs, even weed. My schizophrenia was caused by weed and it’s sad to see how positive the media portrays weed when it can in fact lead to outcomes like this. Hopefully one day he quits the drugs so his symptoms won’t be as severe. Almost shed a tear watching this😔😢Lord give us strength 🙏🤲 You are in gods hands Chris 🙌🫶

My dear son is 34, shares many of the traits and experiences as this young man. He also uses many drugs and has spent time in jail. Currently he is trying to get clear enough to plead his case. He is in a state mental hospital. The system really has no good plan or way to help these people. They are in a cycle, a trap. My son was a Medic in the US Army and is a brilliant human even in his psychosis. He is sad, depressed and suicidal. I’m so sorry to all these people. It hurts to see this.

People with mental illness are often dehumanized. Thank you for talking to this man as though he’s a real person ❤

A client I worked with said the saddest thing to me. “Mental illness stole my whole life from me”. He has been talking about his successful lawyer brother with a wife and kids. He told me they were exactly alike growing up and could have become exactly the same. But his schizophrenia hit at 19 and that was it. He could never dream of a normal life. His hallucinations won’t let him. What a sad world we live in sometimes.

my brother was just like this. once brilliant and highly intelligent. He's gone now. street drugs took him out, and it was tough on everyone. This man brought back so many memories. RIP Truth.

Used to see Chris on the streets in Panama City, FL, so it was crazy seeing him on KZfaq! Never saw him panhandle or bother anyone. Asked if we was hungry a few times and got him a pub sub (sub from Publix). He was delighted and thankful. Seemed like a good guy who’s just down on his luck.

I've never seen a schizophrenic describe their disease so objectively. Maybe because he's medicated and not in an active episode. Fascinating!

I know it’s been repeated - but please have him back. In such a short time, he allowed us into the depths of his hellish affliction in such a concise way. He was amazing. “I keep getting approached by dudes, I think it’s the hair.” And he is funny as hell.

4:35 " Just smoked some crystal ". Theres the problem right there.

I can't imagine hearing voices in my head like this. My heart goes out to you brother. Hang in there.

My heart goes out to Chris. I was married to someone that had this mental illness. Sadly he took his life at the age of 27. I am 62 now, and hearing Chris reminds me of what my husband went through. Mental illness should be talked about without feeling judged. My husband was labeled crazy never judge someone you don't know their journey. Chris, I see you.

love how he is so real with no bullshit, his personality shines through his illness. i really like this guy

I'm 34 and had one random-ass schizophrenic episode a year or so back. Never had one before and haven't had one since. Lasted about a week. No drugs, but quite a bit of stress due to work, moving, and family stuff. Never knew I was prone to experiencing it. Showers have always been my decompression therapy. I talk to myself in the shower and tend to be very philosophical and existential. One day, I was in the shower doing the same routine, and it hit me. Like a punch in the face. An "attack". I felt this overwhelming sense of horror and dread. I didn't know what to do or think at the time, so jumped out of the shower, tracking water everywhere. I lived alone at the time, and just ran around naked for a while, sat down wet as shit on the couch. My first instinct was to call someone. But I worked the evening shift, so when I got home it was late at night, and I didn't want to call and bother anyone. So I just tried to make sense of it on my own and figure out what the fuck just happened. It wasn't a panic attack. I'd had those before and was very familiar with them. It was something else. There was still ringing in my ears, as if I'd just been through a war zone. If I thought about it too much or tried to recall what led up to the "attack", that same dread feeling would come over me. It terrified me. My brain was on fire trying to figure it out. I thought maybe a demon attacked me, or there was a chemical leak somewhere, or we were under attack and the chemical war was on. But I eventually settled on the conclusion that the universe had simply showed me something humankind wasn't meant to see. Maybe I saw it in the past or future, but I just had a glimpse of it right then and there. Just a small taste. And it was too overwhelming to bare. So my memory was wiped - by aliens. Yes, aliens. (This was just before all the alien stuff came out.) I felt ashamed and psychotic and so didn't tell anyone out of fear of judgement. Because I knew how crazy and stupid it sounded from a rational perspective. I never had visual or auditory hallucinations, but the delusion was very strong and very real. I tried to ignore it and move on, but it was hard. All week I slept with the lights on, and had my cats shut in the bathroom with me when I took showers, and played video games constantly to keep myself disengaged from reality. I felt like I was constantly being watched and became incredibly paranoid. I didn't even feel safe with my gun. I felt like I could be "attacked" by some supernatural entity again at any moment, or permanently placed in this version of hell I apparently saw and couldn't remember. It was exhausting. After about a week of nothing else happening and trying my best to ignore it, I finally gained some courage and looked stuff up online. I was led to schizophrenia. And it all clicked. I have a history of anxiety, depression, and OCD - I remember having to fight those nasty tics and behaviors as a teen. I was prone to symptoms of schizophrenia, and a schizophrenic episode was triggered by stress. I finally spoke to my mom about it and felt a lot better. I felt sane again. And life went on as normal. I took a small dip in the life of a paranoid schizophrenic and holy fuck, I can't imagine living your entire life there. It's beyond horrifying.

My unc was schizo, tried to turn a dolorian into a spaceship, crazy that he had such a high capacity for math and sciences but couldn’t manage regular life with out delusion, he died a couple months ago and I was the only one who would talk to him on the phone each day. Hope you are exploring the universe uncle David

I worked with homeless people, and it’s so sad how so many people like Chris get lost in life because it’s so hard to function in society while schizophrenic. I hope he finds peace.

I've never heard shizophrenia been so well described before. The terror and agony, man...what a brutal mental illness. Somehow I think it must be even more rough when he can step aside and see it from a pure logic perspective. Almost like hes looking in from the outside. Fuck man, life is not fair. I really, really hope that you find your way one day dude. Much love.

Thank you for this. God Bless Chris and every person affected with this terrifying disease. I can't imagine the horror these people have to endure, or the pain and worry of their family

My schizophrenic soulmate, Steven took his life a couple of years ago. He was an absolute genius and the kindest person would ever meet. You make me miss him Chris 🌿

So handsome and so intelligent. Reminds me of my dad who also has schizophrenia. Totally warm and approachable but he truly believes people are spying on him through the phone and that people are out to kill him. I really hope they find a cure for schizophrenia, I’ve witnessed my dad so terrified at times, it’s really unfair that some people have to live like this.

My brother suffers with schizophrenia and I’ve worked with adult males with the same diagnosis. What I find most amazing is the similarities of voices, concepts, thoughts, directions, concerns, heroism, symbolism, afflictions. It makes you want to map it out and see how it’s possible. Thank you Chris for sharing your experience. You are loved.

Thanks for chatting to us all, Chris. From Sydney Australia.

My heart! Sounds exactly like my son speaking…been diagnosed since he was 15 now 27 in a facility! He says exactly same stuff! Symbols/games. Etc. my heart’ just love! Just love!

Despite being absolutely terrifying, I find schizophrenia to be fascinating. The first person I ever ran across afflicted with it was as in jail, and the gibberish he was saying drew me in completely. To me, it’s always sounded like the worst heavy acid trip you could ever take, except it lasts forever. That’s scary as hell.

How astonishing he is able to function with in the dual reality of his mind. He is navigating between worlds and I find him so fascinating. I hope he will be ok and find peace.

What a likable guy. I hope he’s able to get help and have the best quality life possible.

Would love an update with him in the future. Great interview!

Part 2 is needed . Chris is a very interesting person to listen to and had the audience engaged the entire time . Hope he gets the help he needs .

My best friend growing up was the most straight edge, clear thinking person I knew. He smoked weed for the first time at 18 and immediately had psychosis and was diagnosed with schizophrenia, spent 2 years in the mental hospital. He has never been the same. He’s 34

The fact he can recall most of the content he's been going through during his psychosis's proves how little we know about this condition. You would typically expect someone to be totally out of it but this guy has more recalling self awareness skills than most ,sane' people do.

My brother has schizophrenia and it’s so hard to see him wither away. He’s always been one of the smartest and kindest people I know, but turned into a drug addict because of his mental illness because it’s the only thing that distracts his brain from the voices and hallucinations. The system is broken for these people and they are damned to living in the street, jail, or death eventually, I worry about him constantly. Thank you for humanizing humanities most vulnerable. These people need more of a voice and more help than they get.

I’ve never seen any interview like this before. I’ve never seen a coherent schizophrenic articulate what they’re going through so clearly and articulate their thoughts and why they did certain things yet know it’s psychosis at the same time. He has astounding self awareness and communicates his experiences so clearly. Such an amazing and meaningful insight to what this population goes through. He seems like a wonderful bright, intelligent, kind and genuine young man. Sending you light Chris.

Thank you Mark for this interview and educating on schizophrenia. My son started hearing voices around 18, after many years of medications, therapy, ect treatment, ketamine, a few hospital stays, alternative therapies , he only got worse. He was constantly paranoid & depressed He believed people in his apartment building were conspiring to kill him. He couldn’t hold a job due to hearing evil voices. I would ask him what they’re saying, he said he couldn’t tell me. He would on occasion use drugs, I imagine to try to get a break. He stopped taking his meds, said he was tired of fighting the demons. I called a crisis unit to his apartment on May 2, 2018 to do an evaluation. He had bought a pistol. I physically fought him for it for almost two hours trying to get the pistol from him, I begged, prayed , and cried while he had tears in his eyes & said he believed they were coming to get him to rape him. When the sheriff knocked on the door, he shot himself in the heart. As a mom, you want to fix this, save your child. He was 30. I’m heartbroken everyday & mad that life had been so unfair to him. Again, thanks Mark!

Thanks for sharing with us Chris, wish you good luck from California, Bay area

This was crazy informative and eye opening, i cant explain it i cant relate on the mental health level but the "just smoked some crystal and drank coffee" hit me in the stomach very honest man that crystal is making my guy worse at crazy momentum

I used to work in psych. Many of them are that in tune with their psychosis. One in particular knew when she was getting sick because John Lennon would “come and talk to her”. She’d literally say on admission “John came back so, I’m here”. She was cute as a button…one of my favorite patients, actually.

I've known several people with Schizophrenia of varying degrees that can't go near weed. It has a super negative impact on their brain chemistry. I'm sure harder drugs do, too. I have family that have schizophrenia and I'm glad you did this interview. It's a really hard thing to go through from the outside but imagine if it was you experiencing things like this. Your interviews, I think, help humanize the whole situation. Thank you, Mark.

Thank you for the interview and good luck to Chris!

My brother was diagnosed with schizophrenia last year. It’s really hard trying to convince him his delusions aren’t real. This video gives me insight into what he is experiencing. Thank you, I’m sharing this video with him. I’m hoping he views it and understands he isn’t alone.

He gives a insanely perfect insight into the mind of the person you see on the street yelling at themselves.

This was a deeply compassionate exploration of a human being who has been so often overlooked and ignored by society. Fascinating!

That was absolutely heart breaking to hear. I really hope we find a cure for this.

This one has me choked up. I pray Chris has some peaceful moments from his mind. 😢

He seems so normal till he touches on certain subjects. My daughter is going through the same thing and she too believes talking about it will mess up her connection to some being so no one believes she is sick. Her sister and i are the only ones close enough to her to tell and she cut us off because we want her ti get help. We are going through a real hard time...Im so glad I saw this man's story. She is 27 and it just started with her. "Perfectly sensible but saying rediculous things" Thank you soooo much for this

I had a Brother that died with schizophrenia. I made it my life mission to help people with this illness.

Interesting, its amazing that you were able to interview. God bless ✨💜

Chris is so well spoken, I would love for the man to start a podcast

Please bring him back for additional interviews. And please let him know how much love there is for him, as well as respect, and an open-mind to everything he has to say.

He could be a model. Really handsome and well spoken. It’s heartbreaking to hear all the chaos in his head. Hope he can get help and get clean

I love these interviews. I’ll admit if i had just heard the story of him lighting a house up, i would judge him so bad. This dude’s life sounds so incredibly difficult.. I can’t imagine living this way.

My son is diagnosed with schizophrenia. He has been so courageous. People have no idea what he has endured. It takes great strength. My heart goes out to those who experience this brain disease and those who could no longer endure and to those loved ones who lost people.

Chris seems to be an Intelligent, interesting and sweet spirited person with a great smile. Mental illness is such a misunderstood situation and not at all enough funding. One thing that stood out is when he said a man yelling at you on the street might be protecting you, in his eyes. I pray he can get some housing/safety/security and maybe on better meds. Chris, you are in my prayers.

This tears me up inside. So much pain and it's overflowing and overwhelming. The narrator said you seem normal but you're just saying crazy sh*t...

He's the sort of person who can have more legitimately useful creative thoughts in a week than some people will have in a lifetime. Just a bit too creative a lot of the time.

“Don’t get jaded. Don’t take things as blasé just because you live experienced them before, you can probably find new aspects to them if you look hard enough” That’s a perfectly coherent piece of advice.

I'm way too stoned for this, he's starting to make sense.

He seems like such a kind and genuine person who is just struggling and I feel sorry for him that his struggles progressed to the point that he ended up going to jail.

Wow the last thing he said gave me goosebumps. This guy, completely off his rocker, yet we can still learn something valuable from him. Humans i swear, theres nothing i simultaneously hate and love more than humans.

my boyfriend had schizophrenia but he refused treatment idk why and we lost him last year, from suicide, he was the only person who truly ever showed me kindness and real love. such a pure and beautiful soul taken so soon. i hope he knew how much we all loved him.

As a mental health professional who specializes in severe mental illnesses such as schizophrenia, I can't emphasize how much the phrase "it's just weed" hits me. So many of my patients smoked marijuana just ONCE (and NOT laced) and it flipped the switch for psychosis. If you are genetically predisposed to mental illness, especially schizophrenia and bipolar, just once doing a drug is all it can take. This hurts my heart! Also, his level of insight, his symptoms, and describing his mothers psychosis reminds me more of schizoaffective disorder made worse by street drug use.

I literally broke down emotionally after hearing Chris story . What can society do to help them 😢

Was here and interested, looked at future interviews to watch and saw Palahniuk listed... settling in now.

I was glued to his story like never before. Stay safe Chris I’m routing for you. Your a good guy.

I can’t even imagine living this way, not knowing what’s real and what’s not. How terrifying.

“…..you can find new aspects to stuff if u try hard enough” -Chris Thank you brother

It’s beautiful to hear & see so much heartfelt sympathy for this man and those experiencing and/or suffering from schizophrenia or other “unusual”/“different” mental expressions….can we take that energy and use it to recognize & support those in these spaces by recognizing they can suffer more from the ‘support’ or lack there of around them rather than the ‘mental’ experience itself? (Not to discredit the experience itself, which can be equally if not more jarring and painful as well). I wonder what would happen if he was part of a community who recognized his gift to expand beyond the limited mind, to see other dimensions, and maybe with wisdom he can better discern what medicine is in these voices and experiences for him or the world, rather than being treated like he is broken and needs remedy? What if the push/pull of his perceived reality (realities) while existing so tangibly/physically in this one is what causes great distress? What if he and others were accepted and seen as experiencing a gift, would/could they experience softness and integration among their multiple worlds? Just thoughts….Im so grateful for his story being shared, although I found it hard to hear the word “crazy” used so many times to relate to his experience by the interviewer.. and maybe this was Chris’ preferred word choice, but between that and the focus on how many drugs were being consumed.. it is helpful I suppose to know, but it feels like it also was used a bit to discredit his experiences or maybe presume the drugs were the cause…and maybe they were but maybe they were also the only help he could find….and maybe that is just a reflection of my world…..peace to anyone who may read this ❤

Schizophrenia is such a difficult disease. No words to describe how much these individuals and their families struggle. Bless them all.

I watched this video because my brother was a paranoid schizophrenic and took his own life in an extremely violent way. He hid his condition from me and I am always interested to learn more. Chris's interview helps me understand how all-consuming the illness truly is, and how hard it is to function in society when you have it. Also, this was one of my favorite interviews. I laughed a lot and found his inner-world so fascinating and brilliant. Thank you for sharing. 💛

Wow, I haven't finished yet but in the last few seconds when Chris tells us to "not get jaded" really sticks with me. It's incredible that he can have that kind of sobering insight while clearly in the throes of his disorder. Also very pointient advice. It's so easy, especially in the modern era with dopamine a few taps/likes away, to get jaded on experiences that we've previously had. Reminds me of the funkadelic song "Good thoughts Bad Thoughts." The lyrics that comes to mind is "an attitude is all you need to rise and walk away, inspire yourself."

i think this is one of my favourite interviews on swu. chris seems like a really cool dude, really hope he's alright!

Can’t imagine the struggles he goes through on a daily basis. I wish him the absolute best ❤

Schizophrenia has always intrigued me. I have an uncle who has schizophrenia. I’ve seen him do some impressive, very odd and sometimes explosive things. My uncle is one of the reasons I chose to go in the mental health field.

"Chris what would you say is the most important lesson you've learnt in your life?" "Don't get jaded. Don't take things as blasé just because you've experienced them before. You can probably find new aspects to it if you look hard enough." Wow. I was not expecting that golden nugget. So wise.

It pains me to see him going through this, using hard drugs that harm the body so much. He is such a well mannered and friendly guy, he talks so clearly and openly. I really, really hope he can get back up and get clean, I have lost family to hard drugs. And coming from a place of high functioning autism, mental illness is something just so hard, so painful. Dealing with his schizophrenia in a world and country that simply does not help us in the right way, I can't blame him, its so common to self medicate. Man, I just hope he can fix things. He has a good heart.

Sometimes broken minds are the most intelligent and beautiful minds. This guy is amazing. Sending him lots of love!!

That was one hell of a story and glimpse into the mind of a schizophrenic.. he seems like a good dude too, that’s tragic he’s been saddled with this disease.

This is why Housing First programs are so so important. Chris’s symptoms weren’t as severe when his basic needs were met but because he uses substances, he lost his housing. We need to have more programs like Housing First where regardless of someone’s substance use or severe mental illness, they will have access to permanent housing. His condition would likely improve significantly and he would be able to pursue other goals in life. Thanks for sharing Chris’s story :)

The first couple seconds of just him made me break down in tears.

Seriously, this is gold, I know exactly what he's on about as I've experienced very similar things during my deepest psychotic breaks due to schizophrenia. There's a primal bit in us all trying to make sense of the chaotic modern world. I felt 'walking the road' too. We face death there, going out in the pitch black to find out. Being both God and the devil and the persecution we experience as schizophrenics is simply Hellish. We find ourselves in a very real purgatory. He'll know of the time dilation and the sheer impossibility of ever making true sense or structure out of these worlds, the frustration. Thank you so much for these stories of hope, I very much wish this guy gets into recovery and can begin to heal with medicinal help.

Man, a follow up with Chris if he could be 100% sober would be fascinating. So hard to know how much of what he was saying was because of the recent drug use vs his schizophrenia. Either way, such a sad situation but his upbeat attitude really just makes you feel for him.

Chris seems a nice person and I just hope he can continue getting help with this. Good Luck Chris and stay strong in your battle.

“I still have shoes on. That’s a good sign.” 26:04 This is amazing. Thanks for this window into your life, Chris.

My son's schizophrenia got triggered by him experimenting with recreational weed while hanging out with friends. It's been an incredibly difficult journey for our family. He is 22. It began at 19/20. He refuses to stay on his medication. I am a single mother, and the constant stress I feel daily, dealing with his behavior has been deteriorating my health. God help all these men and women who struggle with this condition, and those who love them.

I lost one of my best friends this week to schizophrenia. He hung on for 20 years, but couldn't take it any longer. It is such a nasty disorder. Mark, thank you for shedding light on this topic.

One of the worst aspects of mental illness is being aware your thoughts or behaviour are irrational, but still being unable to stop them. I sometimes think outright madness would be preferable

One of my close-friends is Shizophrenic. One thing what’s surprising is, they laugh fantasizing but they don’t lie. They’re so honest, no matter if it’s shameful or not.

Please have him back on!!! Please Mark. This one had me liked hooked, hooked. I watch them everyday. It's how I start my morning drive lol. Been watching for like 4-5 yrs

Thank you for this.. I identified with most experiences.. it’s crazy..

“It just kicked in, I wasn’t on drugs, i was just smoking weed” ummm there’s a hole in that logic

This is the absolute most facinating person. Out of psychosis, he is basically normal and is caught between two worlds. He has me now looking up schizophrenics not on psychosis. I am used to the addicts vids, but this one was the absolute most fascinating!!!

He is a beautiful man, with a good heart; you can tell. So sad that he is suffering by this disease. I wish him all the best and I hope that he get´s a chance to a safer life! He deserves peace in his thoughts, and the drugs should not have a place in his body.

Chris- dude you are amazing. You made perfect sense to me - bless you man.

Wishing him the best wherever he is.

Ive known several people who have presumably drug induced schizophrenia and mostly weed being involved. I don’t have schizophrenia but I had to quit smoking weed because I was becoming insanely paranoid and it was actually frightening. I don’t trust my mind on psychedelics. I’d argue schizophrenia is probably the worst mental illness to live with

Chris is one of my new faves. He seems very aware of what he’s dealing with but what can he honestly do about it. I really like that he was so candid and I truly wish the best for him