If it makes you feel any better about your school experience, even before the pandemic, my highschool put me in a Spanish class ran by a teacher who didn't even speak Spanish.

he went from making fun of deviantart posts to making incredibly deep philisophical videos that make you lay down in bed and jjust think 'damn'

“a friend group you can rarely, if ever, participate in” so basically 90% of friend groups I was in as a child 😅

As an autistic person, I deeply relate to the message of this video. To me, socializing is nothing more than a necessity, a script that i've slowly learned and developped over the years that I repeat to people over and over and over again like a robot, and this, just to blend in. Everyday you need to analyze other people, what they say, what they do, what they want from you. Everyday is a confusing mess of attempting to translate people who have an entirely differently wired brain. And you pretend to be wired like them, because you were taught that this is the "correct way" of existing. So many times I've been told that the way I fundamentally function is "wrong". To survive the abuse, the bullying, the glares, the abandonement, you pretend. You smother your brain's attempt to stay healthy physically and mentally. And so you dissociate through a majority of your life, and just like that, you've forgotten about 80% of your whole life, because you're just a robot everyday. Until you break down. I've been pretending to be someone else almost my entire life, and I've just started to realize just how much of my life I've been wasting by wearing a mask around the wrong people. It's no surprise really that I've developped a deep fear of people early in life. And it's no surprise I've been strictly having friendships online during my teenage years. Today, thankfully, I'm slowly learning how to take the mask off. It's a slow process, painfull at times, but I'm finally feeling like myself for the first time in a very very long time. I've learned to enjoy my own company, and that it's okay to be alone to a certain degree. And most importantly, I'm slowly learning how to enjoy other people's company with no mask on. It's terrifying, but oh so liberating. I think I might be able to turn off the television soon at this rate. Thank you for this wonderful video, amazing message and editing as always!

I feel you bro. The internet didn't used to be television, but it is television now. I don't know how old you are but I am guessing about ten years younger than me; I grew up alongside the internet and saw it grow from the early days. It's just so much of a different thing now. I don't just mean this in that jaded boomer kind of way, but it just used to be so much more personal and intimate. There was the potential for interaction. Now... It's just like TV. The stuff you read, the people you watch and listen to online are just like the TV celebrities of that era. They're strangers who you watch through this one way screen. The interaction is harder and harder to find.

"I try to interact but nothing feels real" duuuuude. That's the perfect way to put it into words. I feel this all the time

When I was in college I put Monumentality on the TV at my house and 10 drunk people sat in silence absorbing that video. I doubt any of them would've sought out videos like yours on their own but when it was presented to them they were hooked. Your videos became a topic of conversation and a few of the people in that group became good friends of mine that I keep in touch with regularly. You struggle to make friends and form tight bonds but your content has probably helped a lot of people become friends.

It's incredible how quickly I went from viewing the pandemic as a dream vacation where I could game forever, to contemplating suicide because of how empty I felt without other people.

I've got to say, though the internet isn't wholly a positive development, I consider your voice to be one of the more honest, clear, and needed opinions. It is rare to have a KZfaqr or really anyone who combines the depth and sincerity you do in your commentary, and it is appreciated. dw i don't think we are friends

It's simply insane how much Solar Sands's content has evolved over the years.

I watch this, the video ends, an ad plays, I close the KZfaq app and open discord. I tap random channels without reading anything. I close the discord app and open instagram. I scroll aimlessly without watching anything. It’s the most miserable cycle, like a corpse trapped in a cave or something. It’s just trapped there, not decaying

Honestly, this video was surprisingly so relatable it's scary. At first, I thought it was about television Like you, I also struggle and still struggle to socialize with others. Throughout high school, I only really had one friend and we haven't spoken in nearly four years despite knowing each other since the sixth grade. In the nearly three years since I started college, I haven't made any friends. I don't go out much. I don't use social media because I despise its very existence. I briefly worked as a cashier at a Wendy's and I absolutely hated it. I hated being forced to socialize with the customers, complete strangers who could care less about me or my life and I couldn't care less myself. To me, they were the enemy.

Only Solar Sands would make a 40 minute video telling me to "touch grass". But in all seriousness, this video speaks to me in the same way I suspect Warhol's quote speaks to Solar Sands. I spent most of my life as a self-isolated introvert with few friends and willing to sleepwalk through my life just hoping loneliness would hurt a little less. It took me a very long time to learn to reconnect with people, and I'm still learning. Luckily, I graduated a year before the pandemic, I can't imagine the toll it took on introverted students. As a student, especially, I found it much easier to decouple from people, since you're typically still a dependent and don't have to interact with people to live. But last month I did something I never thought I would do: I got married. I'm not going to pretend that I have answers, or that anyone reading this cares for my insight, or even that it might apply to anyone but myself, but if I could write a letter to me of 10 years ago, I would say that circling the drain, not caring where the current took me, I was missing out on something. In the 8 years I've known my wife, the one thing she reminds me to do better than anyone is to swim, to reject the complacency of my anxieties and my comfortable routines; to do more. My life is much better for my trying to associate with the world and the people in it, even though in the end trying is all we can do.

"Substitute the guaranteed meaningless suffering for the potentially meaningful suffering" I needed that

I think that there are a lot of ideas in this video that wouldn't survive a dialogue with an experienced friend.

This is a beautiful video. I have many words about this and how much i feel this. But i feel like that doesn't matter. About a hundred other people have already said that, regardless they truly understand or not. But i do. No one will even read this. I'm going to leave it unsaid because only I can understand how this video spoke to me. Truly. Thank you.

This video expresses sentiments I have been developing in recent months. I'm glad other people out here on this internet hellscape share similar feelings. Thank you for making this Solar Sands, it may be an important wake up call to many different people.

The concept that no matter what, you can never actually "know" another person is something people understand on a subconscious Level, but this is the first time i see another person exclaim how genuinely horrifying it is

As someone who is an introvert who also has the continuous struggle of making friends and soon will be off to college, I thank you for this. It is crazy how I came to this channel initially as some middle schooler who liked to doodle characters and listen to art critics around DeviantArt to someone who questions reality, my future, and philosophy in general. It's crazy how I-- or we've-- grown.

"watching TV instead of living life" or feeling that the real world is fake is something I've dealt with throughout my life. Turns out that's a symptom of trauma and it's called depersonalization 😅

I believe that most of us, the people on the internet, are lurkers. We never post anything, nobody needs to know what we think. I never make posts or write comments, but I feel the need to tell you this video you made is incredible. The writing and the editing is excellent and the subject matter is very interesting. This in particular is something I personally relate to alot. I've always felt a sense of isolation, and feeling as though I was watching life through a television screen, like I was a character in a video game. I am neurodivergent, but I am aware of reality. In fact, more so than what is considered necessary. And while there can be some problems caused by this, I've found a way to appreciate and embrace this side of me, it's oddly comforting. I want to thank you for this content, because it's a good presentation of a feeling that is not talked about. I want to say a quick hello to the people who might read this and share my sentiment. It is fascinating to exist.

a few years ago, i went over a year feeling like nothing was real. i came to learn it was called depersonalization/derealization and it was brought on immediately after a traumatic sexual assault experience i had while i was with a former friend. it felt like i was watching my life through a tv screen, or that i was in a dream. it felt like everything i saw was a two dimensional image and i wasn’t in a physical 3d world. everything felt so muted and lifeless that i often had thoughts of suicide, thinking that that would make me “wake up”. fortunately i never went through with it or self harmed, but it was an extremely difficult year to get through because no one would take me seriously. eventually that feeling went away and now i rarely have it, but since then i’ve secluded myself to my room for many years. part due to my self image issues, part due to not wanting to be hurt again the way my former friend hurt me, and part because i’ve always had a small social battery. i always thought i was “happy” living in my room through a phone screen but really i was just comfortable. i was comfortable that i didn’t have to put in effort and that i felt like i couldn’t be hurt again; when in reality i was hurting myself. the only thing that made me realize how awful this lifestyle was was when i became diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder. my condition was so bad that i was hospitalized because the doctors thought it was “a miracle” that i hadn’t gone into a coma and died already. at that moment i realized that if i *had* died, the only memories i would’ve had of my life were the blurry nothing-days that bled into each other. that the last memory my parents and family would have had of me were of me rotting away in my bed and phone. to not make this post drag on even longer, i decided then that i’m not wasting my one chance to experience life like that. i’m taking my health seriously, i’m losing weight, i’m getting back into old hobbies, i’m limiting my screen time drastically, and i’m working towards a career/future i want for myself. it’ll take a long time before these changes become habit but i’m determined to see everything through, even after getting covid a few weeks ago. it’s hard to socialize. it’s hard to connect with people, even scary sometimes because you never know what their intentions might be. but *every* decision you make in life will be hard and will have consequences. socializing is hard, getting your health right is hard, but wasting your life away behind a screen is hard too. it might not take effort, but knowing your life will be filled with meaningless static and no real connections or moments is a very hard realization to live with. so choose your hard. choose which hard you want to go through. choose which hard you can live with. choose which hard will be worth it. choose which hard will make you happier in the long run. sorry for the long post but this video hit something deep. it perfectly described my situation, but also made me see things from a different perspective, different ideas, and even new artists i’ve never heard of. thank you so much for making this video, Solar. not only is the editing and quality absolutely amazing and engaging, but the message and perspective you offer really resonates with many people. i hope everyone that comes across this video, or comes across my comment and has similar experiences, will benefit in some way from it.

If I had seen this 5 years ago, I might be thrilled bc I would feel like you described. I don't feel like that anymore. I enjoy being with people. Glad I went to therapy, she helped me on this and I keep working on my social skills and insecurities and I feel secure on my own skin.

As a very extroverted person with a reasonably optimistic view on life and the philosophy of it, hearing you put so eloquently into words something I would never feel was flooring. I wanted to say this because my partner is an introvert, and I've never really been able to see it like he does. Even with that though, the moment at the end where you called yourself to stop watching TV... that was universal. Thank you for expressing yourself in this and allowing the vulnerability to tell what it really can be like for others.

Even if I don't meet or talk to anyone outside, I feel like the time spent alone walking through a quiet park or wondering about in a shopping trip or even the moments of thought between the concentration on driving there is immensely more valuable than sitting and staring at the same, stale site 24/7.

Man this is the most relatable video I’ve ever watched. I went through serious depression this summer where I started to feel the effects of living in continued isolation. I started to feel the consequences of being a compulsive loner. And I found myself stuck in an endless cycle. I know interactions over the internet are never the same as real life ones, but it’s great to know I’m not alone in this.

I’m a loner and I love aloneness and loneliness. I’m 31 at this point and largely socialize because it feels like I have to. I daydream about being alone again. This has been helpful. One loner to another, thank you for the curated glimpse. It’s moved me. What an interesting thing.

The video was going great but the point about we not being able to know what's going on on other people's head, and that being evidence for intimacy being fake, is terribly strange to me. Like sure, we don't even know ourselves that well, knowing others inside and out would be pretty impossible, but isn't that the entire point of socializing? We have an infinite curiosity for people we care about because we can't predict their every thought, not despite of it, it's a waltz of two individuals that try to dance while simultaneously creating the song, isn't that beautiful?

The philosophy of “life doesn’t matter but you should still live” resonates with me a lot, especially after watching everything everywhere all at once. It’s such a good movie, I encourage everyone to watch

Finding love is a paradox. No one living with the absence of love ever thinks they’ll find it… until they do. If you wanna find someone who you’re comfortable socializing with, you gotta do a lot of uncomfortable socializing first. You’ll know you’re in the right place when the TV turns off, and you’re as comfortable with the people around you as you are alone.

Everything at the end of television

this is legitimately one of, if not the best video ive ever seen on this website that ending monologue actually made me cry thank u for making this

This was like a knife stabbing the very essence of my being. It struck so close to home. I'll resist writing a drawn out rant, but dang. What an amazing analysis.

It's insane the amount of fleeting thoughts about everything are contained in this one video

I was in the exact cycle you described. You described it so well. At some point the comfort doesn't bring happiness anymore it just brings comfort. You want to break the cycle but there is so so much momentum. The days melt into eachother and I'd always pull my curtains so that I wouldn't even notice the difference between night and day. It was during quaratine time and I wasted many of my days. I got darker thoughts. And I still don't know how or why, but I kept going. Eventually I went to school again and it was easy to see how horrible I had become at socializing after complete isolating for like 2 years. The impact is still here. Interacting is just as hard. But it's better now. I have a more positive look on life, and learned that, for me atleast, a relationship with yourself is most important. At the end of the day, you are alone with yourself. You die alone, with yourself. Most of the time, you are with yourself. And if you hate yourself, then life isn't going to be great. I hated myself. More than anyone probably ever has hated me. But I'm working on it. I don't hate myself as much, and I'm learning to love myself and learn things about myself. I am trying to interact aswell, not seeking that much from it to avoid disappointment. It's silly but because of that and my isolation I went to my home from school multiple days with the biggest grin just because I had a small conversation. It's insane. Maybe I still am a bit naïve but I found that for me a more positive outlook, while still acknowledging the harsh unforgiving truths of this world, works best. I'm happy now. And so grateful. It's because of my parents and sibling that I am where I am today. I opened up to them when things were rough and when K wanted change. It took 2 years for me to built the courage to open up but I did it. And I'm glad I did. I am even more glad that they were understanding and wanted to help with giving advice. My sibling answered my questions not with answers but with questions, so that I could decide the answers for myself. Because everyone has a different outlook on life. My way of living works best for me now. I now enjoy small conversations but don't seek deep relationships, because I don't feel the need for them and maybe because I am scared for opening myself up, just to get hurt again. But that's okay. We humans are imperfect. I truly believe that if you try to do your best to be a better person, you are good. I don't think you'll read this because it is quite long and boring and honestly I wouldn't expect anyone to read it which is fine haha. But I did enjoy writing this, and I did partly because of this vid. Even though like you said it won't mean that much, I'd still like to say: thank you for your videos. I enjoy watching them.

Man there were points where this vid was TOO relatable to where it made me depressed but you turned it around at the end. Thank you for your sincerity. As an introvert, I like hanging out with people, my issue is I'm terrible at putting in effort to maintain those relationships. With work, school, and now trying to be healthier its sadly very easy to forget to talk to people or check in with friends. This vid inspired me tho, I'm gonna start looking around for trivia bars to go with my bf.

I'm a Marriage Family Therapist in training and this video is everything that motivates me to provide therapy. Like a lot of people in the comments, I didn't thrive in public school. I was awkward and was never properly taught socialization skills. I rotted away watching it all happen before me, distracting myself with screens and was too lost to even think that things could change. I want to help us; these people, that for one reason or another, got swept away and didn't have anything to grab onto, or anyone to grab them. I want us all to feel alive, to feel present and with hope. I'm not religious, but there is a quote that summarizes what I believe. "God is what is found in the connection between two people." Love to anyone that reads this. There is always someone who cares.

That's a very well edited anxiety attack you got there, son.

It's unfortunate; my SO and I talk about how nobody else feels real. Meeting each other felt like meeting the only real organic human in a world of programmed NPCs. Solar Sands--behind these screens you have a lot of people who think and feel the same way you do. It's just that these comment sections allow for limited words, and the chance of being heard amongst thousands of others is slim. I wish there was something we could all do, but unfortunately we're all too far away to analyze tree bark, examine 100 year old tombstones, or find adrenaline inducing songs with some meaning. For now it'll have to be something reserved for me and him. Real people exist, and they are also struggling to find others like them.

I have never realized how close to home this message you gave from a simple video title. It was enlightening, to say the least.

Make no mistake about it my friend: you are a highly unusual and unique person. And that's a compliment in case there's any mistake about that. Being 54 and in a similar boat, I can assure you, the more unusual you are the rarer it will be to find people you really connect with. I've met one, my best friend, hell my only friend, that I've known for 32 years. But that's the way it goes for people like us: very few friends, but the connections are deeper than the kinds most people have.

As an introvert who realized their null impact on life, who watched as their friends found other people to hang out cause I was too scared or "bored" to go outside, this video really hit deep and gave me the answer that I really didn't want to hear and acknowledged. That I can't keep living like this, that I had to live with this fear of society and still take part in it, that finding a job, learning to drive and making connections is something that I will end up having to confront sooner than I want but later than I should've cause I postponed them for so long already This is live and I have to take part in it; and to be honest, making an impact is something I've always wanted to do. Guess is time to break myself open for the world

For someone who skipped college and went straight to work, my social life died Hella early. I had a lot of friends in high school and even won "Most Creative Senior". I had girls, friends, etc. But every since I dropped out of art school it's been Hella lonely and I haven't had the real drive to be social again after 5 years of isolation. So covid didn't change anything for me lol

As a massage therapist in Silicon Valley, I see the anxiety and loneliness every day on my table. It’s a target rich environment of isolated people.

This was really daunting but really moving. Got me to put my phone down and work on my shortfilm at the very least. Also the section of the video about the "war of the sexes" was depressingly true. No one tries to understand each other and bases their opinions on them on outliers.

I watched through this video and the biggest thought that passed through my mind was,"This is me." In some way, this video was my version of the Warhol quote. It's funny, this video is all about how little we can truly understand one another but clearly me, and a lot of people in the comments, see this as a sign. This video is proof that we are able to connect on a deeper level, that we all feel the same ways. I had a rough childhood but in high school I found a group of people that I was able to connect with, and a few I had deeper relationships with. But through time our differences caused us to separate. Right now in college is the worst time in my life in a lot of ways. I haven't found any new friends at college, and the friends I have left from high school are missing that connection I had. I am deeply, crippling lonely and anti social and I spend vast amounts of time on the internet. It feels like my life is passing before my eyes and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I doubt it but this video might be enough to make me go back outside. To finish my dating profile, to start skating again, to try and find those deep relationships. TL;DR It's time to go outside. Edit: I did go outside. It sucks out here. Edit 2: I was feeling good and I was making progress but then I had an experience that reinforced the harshness of the world. I'm not going to give up. For a moment, I had planned a much kinder edit to this post. Edit 3: I finally learned to ollie and I got a girlfriend. Things are going way better for me. Edit 4: No girlfriend:( but can still ollie AND manual now.

Lol when I was in 6th grade we had a project where we had to give advice to younger kids in 6 words or less and I said “love’s just chemicals in your brain”

I never comment on videos I watch. Even though this video's message hit me like a truck, my first thought after finishing it was to just click like and move on with my life. I guess I'm just very passive about a lot of things. I don't start conversations, I hate writing emails, and I always just listen and nod, hoping that the social interaction will come to me. And even when it does, I eventually feel overwhelmed and bored, and go back to my comfort zone, even though it doesn't really make me feel all that comfortable. And the cycle repeats... Hopefully I will take something from this video and reconsider how I look at life. That it will require a lot of difficult changes to make the world feel less like the same thing over and over again. Or at the very least I know that I'm not the only person who feels like this! I appreciate the honesty above anything else, even if it's through a funny glowing rectangle.

Solar Sands, I have been watching your videos for many years now and I can tell you this is one of the best videos I’ve ever seen. What you’re saying reminds me of sentiments me and my brother have shared over the years. We are both autistic and social interaction feels like a game with a lot of rules, which makes it easier to just watch, like watching TV. Thank you for making me feel less alone.

This is one of the most depressing videos I’ve ever seen. I’d give it a 10/10, another masterpiece

Future me, I can hear Solar about to cry at the end so now I’m crying

I came here to relax and was reminded of the one problem that occupies my mind most of the time. But I don’t blame you or anything. I know that sooner or later I won’t be able to shove my feelings aside, and I’ll have to face them. And it’s terrifying. Loneliness hits me hard. There’s only one person in my life with whom I feel deep connection. I love him with all of my heart, but I’m only a friend for him. He’s still a part of my life and I’m grateful for that. But there’s nobody else at all. I’m a natural loner, yes, but I crave genuine connections, I need to feel like I belong. There are many wonderful people I’ve met. But there’s always something that stops us from forming a real bond. It feels like a glass wall. Like you’re almost there, what more do you need, but - you never get there. During recent years, all connections had faded away, and it’s impossible to form new ones. Maybe there’s something wrong with me. I don’t like most of the people. But there are people that I do like, and sometimes it’s even mutual - and yet nothing happens. We talk for a few times never to meet again. I don’t have any social environment except for university but I’ve failed at making friends there. I spend most of the time alone. I’m going to celebrate New Year’s Eve alone (my family is in another city). I’m going to celebrate my birthday alone, and it’s not the first time. It feels like I’ve failed at life. It would be tolerable if I was creative, if I actually did something with all of my free time. But no, I was not granted the gift of creativity. And I just sit here… listening to youtube videos and playing games. Sorry for the rant, but nobody’s gonna read it anyway. It’s the beauty of modern life…

Damn dude this is seriously some of the deepest and most relatable content I've seen in a long time. Even as an extrovert all of this stuff still applies. Pain is inevitable regardless of who you are. Thank you for sharing yourself with the world.

All my meaningful relationships, including romantic relationships, have formed unexpectedly and seemingly at random. I just sorta reach out, and 99% of the time fall flat on my face, but as you said, the more you reach out, the more you come to expect such results, and it's never easy, but it's less painful. Those meaningful relationships were worth the pain. To those who are introverts, be it self isolation, or exclusion from social groups, just know that reaching out will usually result in nothing, but you have to reach out if you ever expect to reach something.

I keep coming back to this video every few months to remind myself that, however painful socialising and putting myself out there is, and however much I feel like I’ve made no progress at all in the past few years, I still need to keep on trying. Replace the meaningless suffering with the meaningful suffering. Thanks for making this, genuinely

These past couple years are probably the only reason I’m still alive. I’m in the process of an autism diagnosis and I’ve been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. It’s been difficult navigating life before making these steps, but people became more open about mental health during the pandemic and it’s changed my view of it. I’m slowly getting better. Who knows if I’ll make it a year from now, a month, a day, a decade. I may choose to end my life at any point. It’s just a matter of finding a reason to keep going. My reason that I continue going is because I don’t want to be done. I don’t want this to be it. I haven’t done enough. I’m still young. I still have places to go, people to meet, jobs to try, experiences to partake in. I may feel like I’m floating through life, but when I finally get to breathe air, and exist, and feel here. It’s truly worth it for me. There’s this song called “dinner is not over” by jack Stauber where he basically says dinner is not over, and desert will taste better when the dinner is complete. Death is more meaningful when you’ve lived a full life. I want to make sure that I get to experience that. That’s why I’m hanging on

This is probably one of the most influencial videos I've seen in the last couple months, maybe even years. I have not cried in a long time, and I still didn't cry now... but it did make me want to cry, and I'm not even exactly sure why it made me feel that way. Just the thought of the growing current problems (mainly lonelieness), the cycle that was mentioned in the video, the fact that life can sometimes feel so "shallow" and sometimes so deep... it's kind of all of the things that make me feel anxious all combined into a beautiful and extremely expressive video.

I've got the horrible combination of being an introvert and being clinically depressed to the point that I can't even find a reason to move or take care of myself, so everything you said is painfully real. I so often find my self trying to interact, and just not being able to. I don't like being alone, because then much worse problems arise, but interacting with people terrifies me, and I'm unable to move from where I am. I find myself crying in the middle of my floor where I collapsed, unable to move, and the only thing that ever gets me able to move is the fear that someone is going to see me. This was a really well put together video, and you've got an amazing perspective on things.

It's so interesting. As you mentioned: Everybody is an individual with different perspectives and own thoughts. I experienced the exact opposite of what you are suggesting. I was a really outgoing and social person before and met with my friends after school everday and stuff like that. But at one point I realized how much I actually hate it and how miserable I have become because of it. Being stuck at home and fully commiting to the television effect basically healed me mentally. Real life was more of a trance state of lies, than doing anything else on the internet. I have become more selfaware of my existence and meaning of it and became much more thoughtfull. Even others said that I have become a better person over time, even though I became more introverted. But the people I was still outgoing with felt more connected to me. As much as I hate to say it, but years after this realization, the months I was stuck at home during covid, were the best time of my life so far. I have become so much better at managing a healthy balance of internet consumption and activites in real life and giving more genuine thought to my actions and what they mean. My former hunger for social interactions and attention would have eventually been my downfall as a human being, if it hasn't been for my growing happiness in isolation. Obviously, this does not apply to most people and many should experience more of the real life, even though it's sometimes worse, but a balance is always healthy.

I love that he used vaporwave music in the background

I had this realization at one point in my life. From the minute I saw the title of the video I felt a pit in my stomach because I knew watching it would air out those feelings once again because that is exactly how I phrased it. I had no idea about what happened to Andy Warhol, so it surprises me to hear that he was shot and lived and felt this way too. and thought of it in the same way. It really does get better if you try hard enough, especially if you put yourself in a situation where you have to perform or end your current way of life. I have never seen someone put what I felt so succinctly. Excellent work.

The production quality of the newer Solar Sands videos is amazing - it's really a testament to the power of not uploading regularly.

Holy fuck, this video is so fucking needed right now.

I started feeling this way recently and thought it was depersonalization/derealization from tapering/withdrawing my antidepressant but can see it definitely as a result of isolation too... I'm an introvert but sometimes known as an extroverted introvert. Not recently though. I was proud of myself for pushing past my comfort zone and making connections in college and med school but I've since retreated and feel anxious again. Though this time it's a different anxiety...

Just before the pandemic happened in my second year of highschool, I was genuinely feeling like I was nearing "the height of youth" that I"ve always longed for. Too bad that never happened, and now I feel just as worthless as ever

Your confession about social loneliness is very similar to how I feel a lot about my own ways of how I socially interact. I don't really like people and don't like talking or interacting and most people I know and actually talk to are people online.

this video is a true piece of art. i can see and feel you putting your whole self into it, your pain and your suffering. i know that there will be many more meaningful moments for you. thank you for making this.

solar sands is like a narrator/ guide like that of a video game, constantly giving you advice and giving obscure second meanings in sentences that basically mean the same thing. lol

Stages of watching a Solar Sands video -Oh wow that’s an ominous idea. I wonder where it’s going! -Wow that’s an interesting concept! Can’t wait to hear where he’s taking it! -Complete and total raw human existential dread.

During the pandemic I realized something rather painful. Whether all my friends and even my girlfriend were feeling awful with the isolation, I was happier than ever. I didn't have to refuse any invitations for hanging out. There was nobody hanging out. No parties to attend, nothing. I could live a life of cooking, buying groceries and staying in my room without being judged for it. I felt guilty for it. Now things are back and I was "removed from paradise". I don't really know how to feel about it, but I did get to find a job outside my main field of knowledge because it's exclusively home office. So yeah, this realization did make me embrace this side of me.

This perfectly encapsulates all the feelings I've had over the past year. This intense self imposed isolation is the worst it's ever been and I can't live this way for much longer. I have to go out and make friends and do things or die trying. Thank you for your channel and wise words

Love is real. The issue is society incorrectly portrays it as something that happens to you, something your in or out of. In some ways maybe that is true, but in the most accurate sense love is a choice. You must always choose to continue loving someone. Marriage is the most extreme example of this. My wife and I have hurt each other and disappointed each other more than once. We could have let these things separate us and just said we fell out of love. The reality is you will never have a perfect relationship. So instead we chose to love each other in spite of these things. So yeah that's all love is. It's a continuous choice you make every day to care for someone despite their many flaws.

11:45 I work for Kraut bro, he hired me because he liked my art so much, and when I was working hard to get good at art during quarantine, your channel was one that I most frequently came back to. It's neat to see that honestly.

Dang, that last bit telling introverts to get out in the world really struck a chord for me. My life right now is in a liminal zone between leaving high school and getting a job. Instead of college, I'm doing things like volunteering at a local park, drawing, and (you guessed it!) losing myself on the internet. I live in Virginia but have an obsession with tornado sirens. The longing to meet others who share my interest hurts at times. But for now I just gotta face my fear of the unknown, enjoy the friends I do have, and get a job.

recently I realized how much I've been replaying the last 10 or so minutes of this video into helping spark that 3am "get your life together" motivation in me, thank you for all your work, solar ♡

HOW DID I MISS THIS???? will watch when i get home

I had kind of an opposite experience. I'd always been gregarious and loud and extroverted and during the height of the pandemic I had a very hard time being separated from my constant socializing, but after a while I didn't miss it anymore. When we started getting together again I felt distant and awkward and wanted to go home. On one hand I no longer feel addicted to social interaction, but I've almost developed an anxiety about it. Walking into a house party now seems horrific. I don't know if I'll ever go back to the way I was before and I wish I was able to watch my personality develop naturally instead of becoming mutated by a pandemic. I wonder who I would have been if I hadn't had the social side of me just absolutely nuked.

I don't comment often and this is really just meant as a personal bookmark but this channel features some of the greatest KZfaq content I've ever experienced. Solar Sands holds an essential spot on this platform and to me and I hope his work reaches more and more people.

"Repetition without rythym" gave me chills.

This video gives me goosebumps. Amazing video, an interesting point of view and critic not of the situation, but life itself.

As someone who has been in a successful mairrage for about 10 years (but apparently I can't spell it!?!) love is a choice, and my wife and I both acknowledge it isn't magic. There are no soulmates, and there is no perfect relationship. A good quote I heard lately is "There is no 50/50, we're both in it 100%" and I really vibe with that. Real love is deciding that you have someone's back, that you'll pick up the slack. And you're the one who's falling behind and piling up their plate, you have their back too, so you do everything you can, not just for yourself but for them too. It's difficult to believe in something, but if you're in a truly solid relationship where you both care about each other equally in my opinion it's difficult to doubt it. It's easy to get into a trap of thinking "is this magical enough? is this real enough?". It's freeing to realize that it always was enough and constantly looking for perfect actualization is the real distraction.

Last minutes of this video just burst me into tears I was that creepy child in primary school, had extremely low level of socialization in Middle School and literally couldn't make myself to talk to any girl in high school being more attracted with videogames and philosophy It was quite okay for me and I felt myself fine being lonely. Surely Internet became my closest "friend" and that "circle" of actual lonelines, parasocial relationships and permanent escapism was very familiar to me I never felt myself completely understanded despite all my attepts of eplaining all that stuff in my head to others, even closest ones But the reality of country I live kinda helped me to socialize while university years and now i'm school teacher and I'm fine with a huge number of every-day social interactions And I really want to say to everybody who now steps on that path of breaking the "circle" that this path is bearable It certainly will be painful, awkward and full of anxiety, but the goal definately worth any sacrifices And even if you'll drown, you at least will know that you were swimming to shore

This was deeply moving, I cried at the end. Hope you feel better in your outings, much ❤️

Bro really said "I am disturbed by how I disassociate from life" for 30 minutes lol. Good video 👍

as a hikikomori who is finally trying to come out of my shell, this video resonates with me. I've had a terrible event happened to me 3 years ago, and it completely destroyed my will to participate in society and I've locked myself in my room since however I've started to wanna try putting myself in the world again, I'm even starting college soon (excited to meet new people🤗) I'm still nervous, since I haven't made new connections in years but I'm feeling hopeful for the first time... this video helped me gain a little more confidence, so thank you☺️ edit: thank you guys, sorry if I don't reply but I see them 😭 but I got a job since I first turned into a shut in so I'm doing good! thanks for the best wishes!!

Your essays are so touching. It’s like you open up my chest like a surgeon and put your hand around our hearts. It’s being so KNOWN by common human experience that is still not truly present. We will never meet and are completely different but the way you describe socializing is so attached to so many people. Loneliness and hopelessness seem to be the human condition. You’re violently honest and that’s a nice thing to have in this network of lonely people pretending to lay themselves bare.

From my armchair perspective, sounds like you are somewhere in the midst of depression. It reminds me of the thoughts I had when I was in it. But those thoughts aren't true, or at least, are only part of the world that is a phenomenally complicated tapestry. There is a world outside of that. It took me well over a decade of sustained effort to get to the point where socializing began to feel more natural and where I got out of that bell jar. But is is like night and day. Its hard to described but it feels like I can breathe and enjoy things. It is out there. Stay strong all those people going through a bad head space. Things might not change, but the effort can and does pay off. It did for me.

i think once humans /this generation(s) overcome this hurdle of retaining sanity/joy/social life while still using the internet regularly- the world will b awesome!! And I think it's inevitable. We're just in an adaptive period right now. But I think it will result in a golden age of communication and change

I seldom feel 'old' but this video made me feel REAL old. I've gone through it - I had no friends at school and did not like people. I was isolated for over 5 years due to the financial crash. Eventually I scraped together the cash to move to a small city and got involved with some activity groups, another 5 years later and I feel I have very fulfilling friendships. Sometimes it takes a few false starts as the group isn't for you - bad demographic, etc. But turning up to things, talking to people and getting to know them is key. It takes time, but just turning up is half the battle, people appreciate it and it requires no social skills. Turn up to something weeks in a row and people will start to wonder who you are.

You know the trying to understand segment reminded me of a quote from somewhere. "Each person has 3 hearts, One heart they show to their family, the other they show to their friends. But the third heart they keep secret because there is so much truth in that heart"

Absolutely loved the video and you putting ‘Problems III’ in the end was the cherry on top. That song came in my life at a stage where I realised I do need to turn off the television. It has been a roller coaster of a ride since then, but it was worth it. Thank you for this video.

For what my opinion is worth: television is what we want life to be, and real life is just not. In that, there's so much more senseless pain, but also so much unmotivated wonder. Watch the birds, talk to strange people, enjoy a lazy Sunday at the park, see what the world has to offer instead of asking for something specific. Life maybe be cruel or joyful, but it is always fascinating.

a youtube video really is the perfect way to talk about loneliness. talks to all the right people

I'm glad that the ending of the video didn't disappoint me, as I was preparing for it to about half way through. I think meditation is worthwhile to look into for anybody who feels like they relate too much to some of the negative feeling emotions described in this video. It won't fix everything but I think it will assist in allowing you to see beyond the TV more frequently. That is all.

Ive learned to not take introspective videos like this all too seriously, im never going to watch a youtube video that will change my life forever. Yet i couldn't help but notice how familiar it all felt. When you described aspects of your life experiences i didnt make mental pictures of scenes with other people in them, instead my brain instantly, and without hesitation, brought up my own memories. To be unable to talk with others, actively scared too even for years. And then right when im getting better, well we know what happened. Stuck in cycles upon cycles like its ouroboros all the way down. I seriously have been considering seeing a therapist lately to see if i have or had developed any dissociative tendencies because sometimes it really was all tv. All that aside, damn near everyday im never not thankful for the people i have around me. Friends and family that have been with me this whole time through shit that ive gone through. And through them i could finally start to heal, i haven't had any of what i would call dissociative issues in years, and ive gotten a very unique job that allows me to be social in a strange sort of way that i think works and can help me. Its always relieving to see someone talk the same issues you have, even in negitive light we still can find comfort in familiar problems. I never take youtube videos seriously, but this one is in consideration.

this video hit too close home, kinda cried a couple of times watching. when the pandemic started barely anything changed in my life, and now that I have a social life I kinda miss the days where I could stay at home, do nothing, not worry about trying to get a job... I really don't want to play the game of life. I'm thankful for my friends, without them I'd be an hikikomori, but damn, it's so hard.

How have you gone from following and talking about amateur illustration to releasing one of the most profound letters to oneself I've ever seen? This was brilliant.

Thank you for this, I felt the same way you did with Warhol when reading Camus and so I am going to leave this here: “Life can be magnificent and overwhelming -- that is the whole tragedy. Without beauty, love, or danger it would almost be easy to live. ” Embrace the suck. We should all imagine ourselves happy.

i just want to say thank you, so so much for making this. its helped me alot.

this videos came to me in the moment I need it the most. Thank you.