Scott Riley same here, it took me a while to realize we have a John Calvin of our Times.

Al Mohler is a beast.

Bro, you need to join the most gospel centered church you can find, submit to the leadership and serve the people there in any capacity you're able. Every part of the body of Christ is made to benefit the whole, and by benefit, I mean to make it holier (Romans 1:11,12; 12:3-8). You may not feel particularly holy and you may not feel spiritually mature, but that doesn't matter. You don't have to feel like you're being used by God to be used by God; ask Pharaoh, Judas, or Lucifer himself. Here are some thoughts and scriptures that have helped me and might help you. Unlike unbelievers, you have an Advocate with the Father to cover your sin (1 John 2:1) and the Holy Spirit help communicate your longing to be connected to body to God despite your weaknesses; and despite your weakness you can have confidence that God will use you along with everything else in creation for His good, ultimate purpose (Rom 8). Unlike unbelievers, you can rejoice that God has chosen to use you; you can celebrate that He is control and that He can't be hindered from using you even if he has to humble you down into the dirt and mud first just so that you know it's God who gets the credit (1 Corinthians 1:26-29). If you're looking for something to show for your belief in the Lord, you need to be part of a local church and you need to mature within that congregation of dirty messed up sinners who have also been saved by grace. If you want to know what fruit you're producing, you need to be some place where spiritually alive people can either benefit from fellowship with you or show you how to grow. Don't get me wrong, they're sinners and they're going to do wrong by you, but that's when you get to practice forgiveness just as God forgave you (Matthew 18:21-35). Finally, you aren't the only one struggling with sexual immorality (1 Corinthian 10:13) and you confess it because you love the Light and pursue Christ (John 3:19). Temptation is meant to help you mature (James 1:2-4). When you are suffering because you've denied yourself self sin according to what God has revealed to you, you have the honor of sharing in the sufferings of Jesus Christ (1 Peter 4). Jesus Christ "...who for the JOY that was set before him endured the cross" (Hebrews 12:1-2). "Taking up your cross" when you follow Him means late at night, when you get that urge, you exercise self-control and you answer the question "What's the worst thing that could happen if I just don't look? If I just go to bed? If I just put on some god-honoring music (Timothy Brindle's Killing Sin for example)?" While you deal with that visceral appetite for wickedness in your gut, consider that Jesus saw the JOY on the other side of the cross. Consider how you feel when you're hearing the Word of God faithfully preached; when Jesus is being revealed in all those Old Testament stories; when the New Testament letters are being used to drop kick and body slam all the sinful, godless philosophy of the modern world. Do you swell with pride in Gospel that God has revealed and feel joy in believing it? Lust feels good in the moment, but it tears you up like getting tangled in barbed wire. Afterwards, you feel sick with despair. The Word of God feel like a punch in the nose sometimes and faithful living sometimes feels like torture, but there's satisfaction, fulfillment, healthy pleasures, and affirmation of the value that God puts on you on the other side of it. I personally believe that porn the lie of a false god that promises all those things and delivers slavery and death instead (Romans 6, James 1). The world taught you that lust was better than faithfulness to God so that when you sin, you it's because it has made sense for so long that the habit feels as natural as snacking on potato chips. But the world hasn't got the revelation from God and so the world walks by sight without perceiving the knowledge God is providing. The world is doing cave paintings with vegetable pigment and blood, but God is showing believers how to paint like Rembrandt. The world is building mud houses with dirt floors and grass roofs, while God is giving believers everything they need to build historic palaces. The thinking of the world is primitive and filled with bad guesses about reality. The truth found in the Word of God is not simply observations from our perspective, but truths about creation from the creator and maintainer of creation. However, we cannot see it unless we believe God's promises and thereby walk in faith (Hebrews 11:6). Walking in faith included submitting the use of our bodies to God, learning what is true, and purging our minds from the philosophy and attitudes of this sinful world (Romans 12:1,2).

Bryan Bridges, you are in my prayers that God will release you from this curse of lust that has taken control and that He will bring true worship and friendship in your life.

@@greatstoneplanet Amen. Thank you brother. Would you believe the day after I posted this me and a guy from my new church hung out for three hours? God is really good; the problem in my life is me. Somehow I still fall for old lies. I'm gonna screenshot everything you wrote, because it really is true. Thank you again.

@@JohnSmith-ug5ci Thank you John. I can't say how much your prayers are appreciated. I'll remember, every time I feel tempted again, that you are praying for me. Thank you.

Hey buddy if you ever want to email back and forth let me know. Shane@shadow.house