Not unless it's a company party! And stay sober at the company party!

I learned this the painful way. I have since become very surface with everyone. I cannot trust any of them.

why?

But if Ignore my one co worker, he tells the lead and manager, I have a bad attitude and that there is something wrong with me. And 10 minutes later, here comes the lead. Neil... what is wrong? (What a moron)

I wish I knew this earlier. Am going through hell as we speak

This. I worked with a gross narcissist for 2 years. They are extremely dangerous individuals.

Exactly!

Yup there's a 60 year old lady at my work who's a severe narcissist and she copied 3of my hairstyles and now does her hair like mine all the time and so I started changing my hairstyles and so she started Chainging hers to different hairstyles. This lady is crazy plays sick mind games. I'm so sick of her shit one minute she likes me next minute she's giving me dirty looks making stupid rude Comments and acting like she is staying 10 feet away from me. The last time she did this is said im done! F this lady so I now ignore her unless it has to do with work and it's so obvious she's in shock always has her eyes on me just watching. Yup anytime i was alone talking to another employee she always thought we were talking about her lol. It was ridiculous. But she has had a problem with everyone at work but I was the most targeted because I'm nice I fell for the i want to be your friend act I fell into her trap. But I'm so done!! I'm surprised because I'm usually so strong minded but nope I could not see a narcissist coming. 😢

​@@lononya6494bless you and thank you for sharing, I've experienced similar and you're right it's sickk

Sounds like what my ex boyfriend was doing. It was like he was trying to become me

It took me way too long to learn that. However, I have made a great friend who was hired at the same time as me, and we were the only 2 contractors, and her contract ended so we're no longer coworkers but will remain good friends. That is the most valuable thing that has come out of working at that place (I'm still there, but who knows for how much longer).

😢🙏

That is murderous.

This is MURDER She should expose the person who put her through so much pain! And ensure they get arrested on the basis of workplace harassment, wrongful termination, covert bullying, targeted harassment among other things

Prayers for your friend. I am so sorry!😢

I am so sorry … I’m dealing with a narcissist now. At work. I will get him fired.

I’m with you on this. I was excited to work a remote job only to experience that a toxic person will find a way to ruin it and it happened. I’m semi retired until my next adventure in working.

YOU bring out your dark side. Not other people. Your reaction is no one’s fault but your own .

@@Bryan48950 Easy there slick. You are a guy. You guys have no idea what women go through with other females, the catty jealous backstabbing. They can be horrible and relentlessly ruthless! And yes, bring out the worst in some of the coolest, kindest, harmonious people that you’ll ever meet.

And please do not add them on social media❌

@@youknowyoulikeit1000 I find them on social and block them before they can find me. Highly recommend.

@@malikastone that’s right🤣

Amen

Amen sis

This. I nearly lost my job because of this. Went from the highest performer of the group (established over 18 months), immediately to the "lowest performing" in a matter of 1 week, when I was moved into a team with a manager and coworker like this.

Oh my goodness I’m sorry you weren’t the rough this. It’s horrible.

Yep. They are out there roaming around like Satan himself. I also had a bad experience with co-workers. When will it end?

Yes, I can relate.....the phrase "seething anger" totally describes what I am experiencing too. Why all this anger?? I don't get it.

She got her Karma by getting that Cancer though

The narcs latch onto you

I agree 💯

Yes the best counter to narcs is the quality of your character and work. If it's spotless, it's pretty hard for them to destroy you.

Best of luck Jacqueline. Two years from now you won't believe how clear your thinking is and how strong you've become. I can now say things that used to stick in my throat. That is so freeing because I can now defend myself when I need to. Be brave and go forward.😌

@@kathleenreardon8943 thank you sooooo much ❤

@Greg LeJacques thank you ❤

Lots of narcissists say their are misunderstood

And even then they don't always understand your precise situation.

Yup

Many are narcissists too

@@smoothiecutie2277as in highly narcissistic without the actual personality disorder- that’s the difference in terms of getting through the training- though it can happen that a personality disordered individual holds a clinical license

I am dealing with the exact same thing! I started making formal reports and am very vocal about how it’s effecting me and my happiness and that if they don’t address it I will have to leave.

She doesn’t stop because you are showing that affects you, even by walking away. You have to act like you are not even aware of her presence, pretend like you are like: someone just said something?. You can even make eye contact but you act like she wasn’t there. It works wonders.

Been through this very thing several times. And the extra frustration & stress of it is that rarely do other staff or management see or acknowledge the lies/sabotage/harm. I recommend documenting every incident.

What I have done that I have found very successful is to talk to the bully/toxic person one on one. Have a direct, controlled but firm and strong message for her, stating to her what exactly she is doing, that you find her behavior (fill in the blank) (something definite and short, one word or two only), and that you want her to stop this behavior. That's all. Bullies are usually afraid of that type of firm and controlled directness.

Just leave. Many people are actually leaving toxic jobs like this for similar jobs in new environments with better pay. Look for a new job with the idea that you are doing it for an increase in pay rather than to escape a psycho. Upgrade time!

Agreed 👍

Exactly. But HR does nothing. In my case I documented and documented and this person just made my life a living nightmare. Got to the point that I was so done with it that I just gave my notice and walked out. This person has been a problem, employee for years, and the company did not do a thing about it.

@@TB-zd1cm 💯 Completely agree. All the documenting in the world doesnt help, when there is noone to hand the documentation to, who will then Do Something About It

I think its less about you and more about the fact that there are difficult people everywhere. And we are just trying to learn how to exist within that and outside of that. Theres often at least 1 hater/difficult person/bully in any space

i've resigned to the fact they target decent and competent people. Its made me a slightly different person now I am less trusting but probably better protected. I am now better at spotting them. Yes there is generally one in every group

@@therealsaraswati gosh, I feel both relieved by your answer and at the same time, oh my god it's real and it 's not on my head. I think I hoped it was, even if it would have been painful, still probably better than seeing reality for what it is. So much unhealthy people

@@marleyofficialmedia @saraswati thank you for your answer . I feel relieved that I am not inventing all of this. Have a great day 🙏

They are there to teach you self love.

Thanks for sharing :) -Calista@TeamFairy

First, I must comment that you are part of the good stuff in this world, regardless of where you are starting from. Your self reflection is beautiful, and I personally am happy to know of one more person who is truly able to look at themselves. Well, as someone who "took it all", it's unfortunate but once someone has dealt with a mean person, it's near impossible to trust that person. It's almost like how we react to wasps. We let them just be, but we don't try to pet them either.. Actually, adults are usually more tolerant than kids, so that's why mean people also tend to have friendships later in life after they are around adults who will try to accommodate them, so probably that's why you didn't get to have friendships much earlier. I think you may have to work on forgiving yourself for any shortcomings, because you deserve it. I get it, we all come from somewhere. I've also hurt people in my ignorance, But I believe we have the responsibility to correct ourselves now that we can, instead of hoping that the world will understand. The world is not that kind, and even a doormat like me had to work my way out of it. Self forgiveness makes the journey much easier... Sorry for my lengthy post though,, I totally get where you are coming from. And, I assure you, once you start putting in the personal effort, the world will adjust accordingly, and you will receive more grace in your healing journey. You'll achieve your goals, and will get to where you want to be in life, that's my grace to you. 💖

That's where responding to harsh judgement with compassion can make a miracle. Bullies can flip into solid kind people sometimes. Take them under wing, lead by example, share another vocabulary, introduce them to the notions, and let them fly. Evaluate carefully when they return. Determine if you want to deal with them further. I have learned that some people need to be pushed away after giving them a chance. If knowing them brings drama instead of harmony, they aren't my friend even if I see them every day. ~~~^..^

@@squirrelcottage4052 true, being kind but also aware,, although it's a delicate balance sometimes

@@jullietmburu9672 I don’t really blame my self for how I acted. I didn’t really have a problem keeping friends until I was an adult and started realizing how miserable I was lol I didn’t feel a bond in friendships before then, but I had a good amount. (I was a pretty quiet rule follower as a kid lol) Now it’s more just hearing about how people would talk about that behavior on the internet now lol I just wonder about it. I know I was trying my best, and I know my best was not good for friendships and that’s why I don’t do it anymore lol

I'd like that too, it's called "religious trauma syndrome"

Agree with all the above. Unfortunately, sometimes, all of this is still not enough. If the density of narcs becomes too high, if management is narky/ or simply too Ivory Towery to really see what is going on in the workplace, ... then it still will not save you. In this case: Leave before you get sick/ completely drained & discouraged. 🏃

I didn't date for years after divorcing my narcissistic husband and then immediately finding another narcissist. I realized I am drawn to them and I id not trust myself at all. Only now putting my foot back in the water. It's interesting to observe myself in this process now.

Thank you for your kind words! Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy

We love Anna for sure. Really insightful and so down to earth and real! She is a Godsend!

Thanks for sharing, it's such a difficult position to be in! -Cara@TeamFairy

Appreciate you sharing! -Cara@TeamFairy

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy I'm from Canada. What is your advice? Same here being bullied, mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for over 12 years. I've happened to be the top worker for 38 years and have never been suspended. These bullies are jealous and miserable people. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, I drink, I'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. The biggest mistake since they removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroyed my reputation. I will never quit to make these lazy bums ever win. If I decide to transfer to another hospital and may start gaslighting, smearing and bullying me once again, I don't know all the new managers etc. like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. I will never let bullies try to control me from quitting. Just don't react and not try to defend yourself which will only go back and forth making me look even more guilty. Action always speaks louder than words. Just best ignore them and find another easier target. Never let these low life lazy coward bums ever win.

Thank you for speaking up. There is definite truth in what you say - I firmly believe the term Borderline has been historically and continues to be used by careless professionals and laypeople in a derogatory and yes sometimes misogynist way similar to "hysterical" or other, less gendered labels for mentally ill people, like lunatic, etc. I'm 49f and someone with diagnosed CPTSD, who has a good heart and has always tried to do good despite my often not knowing how but was misdiagnosed with BPD in the 90s (and Bipolar in the 80s). Because CPTSD or even PTSD outside combat veterans did not exist on the psychiatric radar until relatively recently. That experience was deeply traumatising, so I take this issue to heart. Back then, Borderline wasn't even identified as being related to childhood trauma. My abusive parents, one of whom had narcissistic traits, were told I was just "born bad" somehow and all my "Borderline" (CPTSD) symptoms and attempts at survival or suicide in that hell were tarred with that brush and looked at completely out of context of the full range ofabuse, neglect/abandonment, and emotional dysregulation I lived through until I left home at 18. Now we know better that trauma is behind so-called Borderline, but I still hear A LOT of people, even people who should know better, bandying the term Borderline about as if these are "bad" people, whereas if other trauma symptoms, like people-pleasing, are more prominent in a person at any given moment, they are the "good" kind of victim/survivor. It's especially hurtful and sad when it happens on this channel, considering there are so many CCF videos that force us trauma survivors to face the reality that our wounds can and do make us hurtful or unpleasant people, at least some of the time. So if I want to be understood as a good but complex person, and that my hurtful behaviour and mistakes over the years are seen through the lens of the trauma I suffered, I must do that for others too - while holding ourselves accountable of course. Sure, without a doubt toxic and abusive behavior in anyone is not ok and should be called out and addressed, but for what it is - not just a derogatory label that basically means bad or even incurable. And no, it's not a trauma survivor's job to tolerate it and try to help a toxic (wounded) person UNLESS they are at a further stage in healing and have the energy and wisdom to do so while staying safe. But neither should we be putting people in different camps that are for "good" and "bad" trauma survivors. I don't think that's very healthy, insightful, or inclusive - but it is base human nature to "other" people that frighten us. I truly believe a day will come when we don't differentiate between so many so-called personality disorders. They'll all be understood as variations of CPTSD. Certain researchers and therapists already feel this way. I think these diagnoses only serve the academics who like to categorise and label human beings, the pharmaceutical industry (since we lnow CPTSD doesn't respond to medication really), and anyone who wants to just throw away people who act out with difficult behaviour. But for the grace of god go you and I... Peace and healing to all.

Wonderful & powerful perspective! -Cara@TeamFairy

That's a great next step! If you're interested, Anna offers a membership program that includes access to all of her courses and a private group where members can share with and support one another. Here's a link if you want to check it out: bit.ly/CCF-Membership -Calista@TeamFairy

You could have just said a colleague .What does her nationality have to do with it?

@@Me-kq8uv Why she can’t bring it up? Gaslighting much?

@@di3486 when you have an issue with someone and you bring their identity to focus you take away the focus on the issue at hand.And it highlights how you feel about someone’s identity. It’s called unconscious bias.Self awareness is important.

@@di3486 By definition that's not gaslighting. And the reson not to bring it up is obvious.

@@Me-kq8uv Exactly. Sad it needs described to people but that was a lovely description

Because she saw you were good natured and genuine and she was jealous of that (because that’s what she lacks herself) and wanted to rob it of you.

@@matts.6904 Thank You

Finally, I'm not the only one who is into that movie!

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy hahaha i am sure we are not alone.

Of course there must be more! But I think Paul Thomas Anderson is SO underrated. Except for the Phantom Thread, which I thought was overrated. But Magnolia! Thankfully, one of my sons is turning into a film nut of my own type. He introduces me to great movies now, and we watch together. Recently, we watched "Stalker" by Tarkovsky (almost 3 hrs long) and discussed it for two hours afterward, and the family was baffled.

lol- Welcome! -Cara@TeamFairy

Haha, it sounds like you're in the right place :) -Calista@TeamFairy

About being too faced?

There are positive and negative aspects to every sign. Also one's personality does not end at the sun sign.

I'm dead 🤣🤣

Thank you for watching. If you'd like to ask Anna a question, feel free to write a letter to her from here: bit.ly/CCF_Letters Nika@TeamFairy