a show written by people who don't like star trek, for people on twitter who don't watch star trek, for me to enjoy on KZfaq being reviewed by people who used to like star trek

"I can't believe humans are turning the future to shit for short-term profit" - Writers that are turning Star Trek to shit for short-term profit

Important note about the scenes of homelessness in Los Angeles: actual homeless encampments were cleared out to make room for them to bring in set-dressers and build a fake one

I just can't get over a astronaut crashing over and over again and they're like "dont worry it's 5 days till launch" lmaooooo

"Man, Picard has a really fucking good memory of every event that happened in the whole history of the Federation" -Mike Stoklasa, man with a complete memory of every event that happened in the whole history of the Federation

I like how everyone's ancestor looks exactly like their future equivalent but Guinan who is the exact same person looks completely different

"You know who has the luxury of patience here?" says the immortal young woman to the very mortal old man

Gainen: "You know who has the luxuary of patience? Someone who looks like you, and not me." Picard: "Im 97 years old"

It's so sad to see Marty McFly and the Riddler wallow in their disappointment in Star Trek as flabby middle-aged men. I love it.

I'm willing to bet good money that these RLM Picard reviews have a larger audience than the actual show.

The cuts to Will Wheaton cause me more physical pain than any of the writing in the series

Also interesting that Picard has never, ever, ever mentioned, nor has any other character who ever interacted with Picard mentioned, having an ancestor who was not just an astronaut, but an insanely important and noteable astronaut... There should have already been 10 different Starfleet ships named U.S.S Picard...

"Who has the luxury of time? People that look like you, and not like me." says the 29 year old woman to the 81 year old man.

Guinan X telling 103 year old Patrick Stewart that someone who looks like him has the luxury of patience was priceless.

“In case you haven’t noticed, Guinan, I’m an old, very much mortal man who has had quite enough of being lectured with platitudes and blamed for actions that I haven’t the slightest control over, so please do us both a favor and make a decision as to whether you care to actually help and let’s get on with it.”

There's SO many things that are moronic about this show, but the Guinan rewrite really stands out to me personally. I've done volunteer work with various local organizations since I was a young teen and the people working hard everyday to make a difference are so much more grounded and driven than the pseudo-Guinan. Even if they're frustrated by injustices in the community, they remain hopeful for a better future because you need that kind of attitude to dedicate yourself to that kind of work-and they're not even hundreds-year-old aliens! They're not writing effective activists, let alone Star Trek characters who have the wisdom of a more advanced era/society, they're writing people who act like angry Twitter blue checks or angsty college students that we're somehow supposed to root for.

It feels like the show was written by people with the same mentality of those celebrities that sang "imagine". They see all this terrible, horrible stuff happening around the world and think "I know! I'll write a show about it! Then EVERYONE will know!". It's like, this is what children write. "Homelessness bad, bigotry bad." Okay? Is there like - I mean did you do anything about it? "I wrote a show about how bad it is". It's like a self satisfaction thing - like those people who put hashtag "thoughts and prayers" after a shooting.

Picard Season 2 is like one of those Best of the Worst movies from the 1980's where they start in a fantasy world full of special effects but by a quarter way through they've been "transported to the past" and they spend the rest of the film running around warehouses in downtown Toronto.

That comment about how Dax and Bashir would have approached that scenario exemplifies such a deep understanding of Trek

Mr. Wheaton's performance in these interviews is going to settle any arguments about his acting talent.

The Riddler and Marty McFly hide their tears and talk about how their childhood is being murdered in front of them. It's like they're Bruce Wayne watching a goon gun down his parents, except the gunman has Alex Kurtzman's dumb face and the gun makes the sound of Wil Whedon's forced laughter when it fires.

It's hilarious watching Wil Wheaton try to decide which facial expression to use.

A 24 year old astronaut with depression, who's failing her simulation a week before her mission to Europa. This is a perfect summary of the level of writing in that show. Forget complex issues and allegories. They take a very real thing that anyone with a passing interest knows about - just how heavily filtered and well prepared the astronauts are, "best of the best" and turn it into a YA novel. ...which may be an insult to some of the better YA novels on my part.

That origin of the name 10 Forward is stunning. Not only have the writers clearly not watched TNG, it didn't even occur to them to google 10 Forward to find out if there was already a reason for it!

The reason that Rich calls them "I-C-E" instead of "Ice" is because he is a traveler from another time sent here to watch over us.

I liked how the script couldn't figure out how to organically reference Gary-7, and pretty much had Picard turn to the audience and read from an episode guide.

Star Trek Picard showcasing depression with pseudo drama - meanwhile Deep Space Nine with the "it's not linear" episode ends up showing real depression without even mentioning it once. Depressed people live in auto pilot mode, they don't really plan for the future and they're always stuck inside moments in their own head. And at the end of that episode you're presented with a great catharsis were they main character finds a way to accept the trauma and move on, putting his efforts into helping others and finding meaning in life.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything as fake as Will Wheaton sitting there talking to Patrick Stewart and smiling holy Christ lol.

"The closest thing that human beings have to time travel is trauma." What a cynical, pessimistic, bleak, pitiable outlook. Just what I want from Star Trek.

she's suicidally depressed but sure let her lead a multi year space mission to Europa , that'll cheer her up . I mean what harm will it do

This emphasizes perfectly that new Trek is not Star Trek. Star Trek always had a positive message when in the end referencing the past. Something along the lines of "But eventually humanity learned etc etc, and now the world is a better place". The Bell riots episode is a good example of that. This inspires hope. This is just like "Look at all of this crap that's wrong with the world". Yes, I have eyes. I live on this planet, and I have access to the internet. Where is the hopeful message? This is just being the so many-eth piece of "entertainment" that just shows everything as a dystopian hellhole, and that we'd all probably be better off jumping off a bridge. Modern entertainment inspires nothing other than corporate greed.

When I watched the ICE stuff, I'm immediately reminded of the DS9 two-parter "Past Tense." That was a very preachy and pretty heavy handed episode about poverty and homelessness. But it was good because it took time to show different aspects of 2024 society. They didn't just go, "sanctuary districts are bad, everyone who works there is an evil assholes who is cruel and intentionally want to make people suffer." They showed you the perspective of people who were working to maintain the system. They could have easily written those characters as asshole villains. But the show humanized them, showed you different perspectives and the paths that leads to apathy. One guard was already jaded and thought of the Sanctuaries as necessary to keep what he saw as criminals and lazy bums away from the rest of society. One guard was the everyman who was just trying to support his family, keeping his head down, trying to stay out of trouble. And a clerk was the idealist who had been beaten down by the reality of the situation, she wanted to do good, but just got stuck into a routine by the system. The episodes showed you these different perspectives and they showed how things can change for the better. The grizzled guard finally saw the horrors an unjust system could bring. The everyman guard realized that he can't just stay on the sidelines and that his inaction was hurting others. And the idealistic clerk had her idealism reawakened.

Clips of Will Wheaton being a tool never get old.

It's so funny that the show tried to make a statement about the immigrant crisis in season 1 with the Romulans, only to turn around and make the exact same statement a second time in the next season except ten times more obvious.

One of the many stupidities of STPee that nobody else mentioned is that Renée Picard, a French citizen is a NASA astronaut. Only US citizens can be NASA astronauts, but she has a French flag shoulder patch. They should have just written her as an esa astronaut, or an ISA astronaut. The International Space Agency was established to exist in 2032 in a Voyager episode in which they find an ISA spacecraft from that time stuck in a negative space wedgie they encounter.

This whole series has been traumatic for me. It is like seeing a person you loved for the first time in ages, then they start to mumble incomprehensibly and shit their pants.

Fun fact: Rich Evans is a master at oragami and actually folded the green screen from Space Cop to make Mike's blazer

"This is what happens when idiots write for Science Fiction." This is the greatest and truest statement that Rich Evans has ever made.....

At sufficient levels, incompetence is indistinguishable from malice. That's my review of Picard.

Red Letter Media is the only channel that makes me care enough to watch close to an hour long video about something I never will actually watch.

It's hilarious when I assume they're paraphrasing the terrible dialog from the show and exaggerating, but then a clip plays and it's like word for word just what people talk like in this series.

I want to see an episode of STAR TREK: PICARD tackling the modern-day problem of incompetent, immature writers being given professional positions in the entertainment industry.

I love when Mike talks down to the writers like the inept children that they are.

The writers don’t have an aptitude for science fiction. Fantasy tends to be their expertise. Case in point, what the Borg Queen says right before they travel through time sounds more like a spell being cast than something that the Borg would actually say. Instead of “Go backward to go forwards. Shattered to mend. The past is now,” the Borg would say things like “Chronometric particles dispersed. Temporal coordinates selected. Displacement commencing.” Also, according to IMDb, the only other sci-fi show anyone of them has done is “Superman and Lois.”

_"Depression in a human can be debilitating"_ Pretty sure the viewers figured this out first-hand by enduring the 3 episodes before this

Q straight up says on the answering machine that they "simply do not care". He just summarized "Star Trek: Picard" right there.

Hearing Wil Wheaton say "red alert" makes my bones hurt

"Fuck it, who cares?" seems to be the theme in the writer's room. I envision the phrase on a whiteboard all in caps.

Picard's reaction should've been more like, "In my timeline, the Earth was a nuclear wasteland ruled by genetically engineered warlords, so this honestly doesn't seem that bad."

Everyone knows Star Trek is at its best when the characters go back in time to a contemporary period where the writers exist. Works like a charm all the time!

I imagine Mike leaving a 1 hr long message with Mr. plinkett’s voice about his thoughts on the show and pizza rolls

"We simply do not care, have a nice day." -The nutrek mission statement.

Picard makes modern Doctor Who look like a subtle masterpiece.

Mike, the writers clearly just googled “obscure Star Trek stuff” and found a BuzzFeed listicle with Gary Seven in it.

Wil Wheaton makes Chris Hardwick look genuine. "SHUT UP WESLEY"

Mike's Janeway voice is amazingly spot-on.

Isn't it grand, to be lectured on environmental destruction and economic inequality by people who own private jets and houses bigger than entire apartment blocks? Isn't it grand?! Thank you, Alex Kurtzman, for teaching me about the great moral challenges of our time. You are truly a beacon in the darkness.

They just die inside more and more with every episode. I love it.

Burn Notice had a great structure where the B-plot of every episode was the continuing story, and the A-plot was the self-contained episode. It kept this structure until the last couple of seasons, only moving the main story to the A-plot for mid-season and season finales.

The ancestor thing is weird. Star Trek never really did genetic destiny stuff, hell, they did and episode where Janeway's ancestor wasn't important as she thought she was, but it as alright because she still contributed to space exploration in her own way. But here, Picard's distant ancestor is the lead astronaut on a major spaceflight that will supposedly discover life on Jupiter's moon? I guess Picard, Janeway, and Soong are lucky their family name's survived a century of war and genocide after this.

Warms my heart that the events of Picard fall under the “non-canon” section of Gary Seven’s Wikipedia page.

At this point 90% of the people watching Picard are just doing so to better understand what Mike and Rich are complaining about each week (the remaining 10% are bots)

Looking back on this from only two weeks out, it's almost quaint how Mike and Rich are so upset by this show so far. Little do they know how much worse it is about to get. I have the lowest opinion of Picard and still managed to be stunned by the new depths of awful reached in episodes 6 and 7. I eagerly await the re:View.

I like how in the logic of this show, being deported by ICE would cause Rios to be lost forever. Wouldn't he just be in another country? Wouldn't he just find a way to establish communication with the ship once he was out of ICE's custody? Couldn't they just scan for his "vaccination chips", detect a temporal anomaly and find him REALLY easily? Politics, ethics, social commentary, and ham-fisted political analogies aside, there is NO reason why Seven of Nine and Rafe should react this way. From their perspective, this is essentially like Rios getting on the wrong bus.

Remember when this show was about the political ramifications of evacuating hostile people from a natural disaster? Remember when this show was about the ethics of using synthetic lifeforms as slave labor? Remember when Picard met a girl who was half robot? Nah. Neither do I.

These clips from the promotional stuff actually makes my skin crawl

The irony of a line like "depression in a human can be debilitating" in a show actively inducing depression.

I would love Will Wheaton to come on the show and after they both rip Picard apart he just stares at them with his cold dead eyes and that apathetic smile.

The Brent Spiner being every Soong thing... it's like poetry. It rhymes.

Just want to congratulate Mike on winning the 2022 Masters Tournament

It finally happened, Mike has turned into a living greenscreen.

I'm surprised the "writers" of this show can still write. You would think they'd broken their arms patting themselves on the back so much.

"Its about trauma" So is literally every show aimed an millenials. Optimism come back, we need you.

That whole talk about "trauma being the closest to time travel" I found so cynical, and that's one of the creator's view on life, it's no wonder the show is so depressingly miserable.

Nobody ever talks about how good the editing is in these videos. The awkward intercutting of interviews says so much about the bloated consumerist blob that so many IPs like star trek have become, more eloquently than words can allow. Also most people take it for granted but putting in clips of what Mike and Rich are talking about helps so much with context. Most youtubers can never seem to figure that out but these guys have been doing it forever

RLM's reviews are infinitely more entertaining than the actual episodes. Star Trek Continues is the best Trek made after 2004

We need you more than ever!

Always good to hear the Mario Bros. talk about Star Trek.

The reason Soji was modelled after that particular individual was because it’s the only ancestor that - due to genetic mutation - doesn’t look like Brent Spiner.

Oh man, I just noticed now, by re-watching this re:view, that all that stuff like poverty, racism, crappy bureaucracy and so forth, what shocks Picard, Raffi, Guinan etc. like freaking hell, is EXACTLY THE SAME like in the “good” time line (Season 1) they are trying to re-establish.. God, I hate that Kurtzman Universe soooo much

Check out Rich’s life preserver, the _dork_ thinks he’s gonna drown.

Imagine taking a sci fi show set in the distant future and going, what if we set it in present day and just whine about how bad the current year is and how dirty LA is.

Wil Wheaton has become the king of just riding his meds through fake emotions. He's talked a lot about depression and now I can't unsee it.

This is the kind of political commentary that a freshman high schooler writes. It doesn't analyze the elements of the issues or how they have come to be. Nor do they have characters with their own understandable reasons to take opposite positions with nuanced conversations to highlight how those different perspectives lead to the conflicts and problems the story is highlighting. And it doesn't have a mature nuanced take on how these issues may be solved at different levels, or how some proposed solutions might yield other negative results or end up futile. Life is complicated, as are the many issues this show is bringing up. Yet, this show just authoritatively pukes the message out at you by having a single generic character state the existence of the problems, superficially condemn them (with platitudes), and just has simplistic bad events happen to "show" the viewer that things are bad and they should feel bad about them. It's beyond childish and pathetic. It's an authoritarian demand rather than an earnest quest for improvement.

Picard was the 1st in his family to leave the Earth. He said that in the last movie.

This is the best way to experience modern Star Trek, through Red Letter Media. This way my view of the good Trek will not be destroyed

“Three pages in, I was crying.” - actress playing young Guinan as she first read the script What the hell, lady? What about this subpar tv show is soul shattering material?

Mike's pitch for Frankenhooker Borg Queen sounds great 🤣🤣🤣

For what it’s worth, Neal Armstrong did crash the simulator 3 days before launch. But he did it deliberately, because he wanted to test and see how the people at mission control would react in an emergency. Now here’s a fun exercise. Count up how many people Picard and his merry band of murdering psychopaths kill just in the opening scene of episode 3.

Wait a minute, doesn't Guinan have the ability to recognize a changing timeline? Like in "Yesterday's Enterprise"! Regardless of any timeline, Guinan is still Guinan.

The ICE parts were so over the top and one dimensional, especially the part where they say people deported are "disappeared."

Mike's energy level for this particular episode is exceptional

I love how Mike slipped and fell into an interesting sci fi story about the Borg Queen tapping into social media and just sort of nudging it into the full blown controlling monster it could become.

DS9 did an episode with people who claimed to be refugees from the Gamma Quadrant (Who language couldn't be understood by the Universal Translator, but then it was, and there was no reason for it because it didn't impact anything) and that episode was hilarious because those refugees were the biggest assholes I've ever seen. Starfleet welcomes them in, finds them their own planet, a nice planet, all to themselves. They are being GIVEN a PLANET and their attitude is "No, we want to live on your planet. Give us this land. We want it." Then one of their kids steals a ship, and opens fire on the Bajoran defense fleet in Bajor's upper atmosphere and gets killed for it. And the episode end with a guilt trip being laid on Kira even though she did nothing wrong and all of their problems were the result of their own actions.

I love watching the Super Mario Brothers screaming at Professor X!

Wheaton interacting with Stewart is hilarious. It's like the Nerdist cheerleading for a pile of dry leaves.

Please don't stop making these videos. Watching the destruction of your love is entertaining!

Buzz Aldren is one of the best AAE's in history, and he never crashed a damn thing, because he's one of the greatest pilots of all time, that's the reason he was the lead pilot on the first mission to the moon. Random thing, Rich and Mike likely know this, The FIRST Pilot for apollo10, under Command James Lovell, was Frank Borman from Gary Indiana.

Captain Jonathan Archer was the best car-driver of all. He didn't break any windows either!

"Picard's ancestor was a Depressed astronaut who couldn't handle pressure" If you read stories about astonauts, they are the most inhumanely calm people under pressure. I think chris hadfield got a liquid leak on his helmet, he got blinded and almost drown during his spacewalk. But he managed to finish the job and his heartbeat was normal the whole time Edit: it was luca parmitano