1:00 "it's like the church if they had knights" - Ever hear of the Knights Templars & Knights Hospitalers?

"A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge, and defense, and cheating at gambling (but only when they feel like it). NEVER for attack, except when they want to propel objects or enemies into others at high speed. I don't care how calm and at peace y'are, that's always damn funny." --Yoda

Consider that this came out in 2002, the same year as movies like LOTR The Two Towers, Spider-Man, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Minority Report, Black Hawk Down, etc. Movies with great storytelling and beautiful lines of dialogue, being made for a fraction of Star Wars' budget, and the best Lucas can come up with is CGI bug monsters and "I don't like sand". This trilogy was supposed to center around the Clone Wars, yet the war is almost entirely fought offscreen. Lucas should've put the war front-and-center, given us a ton of epic battle scenes, and kept the mopey Young Adult soap opera in the background.

Really needed rewrites and Lucas really needed a no person(s) for these movies. I really like the idea of filming it from different perspectives other than Anakin

You guys should watch the Auralnauts' re-dubs, starting with Episode 1 : Jedi Party

"Who are the Jedi?" Well, the Jedi are most directly based on the Samurai class of Feudal Japan as depicted in Kurosawa films (or, Lucas' understanding of it). So in that context, the Jedi were imagined as a lost military class. This is referenced by the fact Leia refers to Obi Wan as "General Kenobi." But since there is a religious aspect to the Jedi that seems very Catholic, I will remind you that the Roman Church used to be a major military association that united all of Western Europe's Christians. As an institution, the Vatican still swings above its weight regarding formal diplomatic power. The Holy See has the same formal powers in the United Nations as Palestine: a country defined by a defined body of land, with a formal governing body, and a unifying cultural identity. Let that sink in.

This movie made me hate the Jedi. They came across as idiots who couldn't even see the evil in front of them. And their grand reveal on Geonosis looked stupid instead of awesome. They all threw off their cloaks and then started waving their sabers around like 5yr olds playing with cardboard wrapping paper tubes and striking "ka-ra-tay"poses. They looked like the dumbass town gangers with katanas in Yojimbo; the ones Toshiro Mifune laughs at before he kills 5 of them in 2 strokes. 😛

The Padme movie...dude that makes a lot of fckn sense man

Fun fact: the first time we ever see a light sabre dismembering someone is in episode 4 in Mos Eisley, and it DOESN'T caurtorise the wound. The blood still flows from the arm on the floor.

I never blamed either Anakin (or Jar Jar). When you can make Ewan McGregor and Natalie Portman act like they're playing realistic pieces of cardboard, it's clear that the problem is in the writing and direction. I bet Lucas is still miffed that Liam actually put a bit of color and emotion into Qui Gon. And yes, the Kenner Droid Factory (TM) fight was horribly long. Even if we know they survive (because it's a prequel, duh), I soon started not to care.

So... I know WAY too much about Star Wars, but here's what happened to the drug dealer on Coruscant. Basically he went home and rethought his life. He ended up becoming an advocate for the people on his level.

"The Simpsons" had the same criticism that Lucas had lost track of what inspired these movies to begin with but gradually realized what these movies were supposed to be. Blockbuster versions of film serials and b-movies from the '50s enmeshed with samurai/knight mythos. He did need to benefit from a co-writer, someone like David Koepp, or Lawrence Kasdan from the original trilogy. At least someone who can help craft characters that don't sound and behave so "manufuctured". But as dark as it would get it still earned a PG rating as the prior 4 films had. I think this significant when talking about how we approach Lucas' direction and sensibility in an age where PG-13 more than anything is the marketable film rating.

16:01 LOL Funny, you thought of Mortal Kombat, with due cause...When Y-dogg redirected Dookie's electro, I thought of Big Trouble In Little China, when Egg Shen used a mylar-foil fan to deflect Lo Pan's lightning.

Count Dooku is the most interesting minor villain, he left Jedi order and Republic because of corruption, burocracy, stagnation and passivity (and we know he is right). His age speak about his experience. Also he was Qui-Gon's master, who also was very rebel Jedi. He knew about Empire and planned to overthrow Palpatine when it will be created.

Yoda's description of the force in The Empire Strikes Back might have painted George Lucas into a thematic corner. Staying with the mystical nature of the force demands the building of a spiritual/theological story to underpin the development of Anakin into a Jedi. But with the force pushed into the background Yoda's speech could reveal the result of his personal journey, during his exile, into its true nature.

How do you know if a fisherman is single? He’ll be a Master Baiter🤣

The church did have knights they were called the Knights Templar.

I found it extremely hard to relate to any of the decisions that most of the characters made. If you are going to make Anakin a childish sociopath fine, but not at the expense of other characters agency or common sense

The last time I watched this one of the things that really stood out to me is for about 45 minutes there are 2 active story lines going on. Obi looking into the army and padme and anakins romance. And BOTH story lines are so boring that although they keep going back and forth between them in an attempt, I assume, to keep your attention I had to just fast forward through it. as bad as the sequel trilogy is at least its brain dead fun. where this is just mind numbing drudgery.

I genuinely feel sorry for you for putting yourselves through watching this tripe a second time.

1:11 But the church DID have Knights./

One movie I'd be interested to hear your perspective on is Ben Hur (2016). It's a movie that flopped massively and got terrible reviews, but I genuinely loved it. I think most people were put off by it being a remake of a classic (never mind that the 50s version was itself a remake of a classic), and unfavorably compared it to that movie. But I thought it changed up the story in some very interesting ways, and had a much more nuanced view of the imperial soldiers and the subject people both being trapped in an impossible situation. But maybe I'm too forgiving to it, so I'd be interested to see what you guys think, because literally nobody talks about this movie.

Only good scenes in this one were seeing Jango Fett, the Jedi being taken out and some would say the Galactic Senate voting, but that one is mainly for the lore of it all.

When in Starwars have Jedi ever been consistently powered? Even in the OT Luke went from holding his own against the most powerful force user in history to being captured by a bunch of drunk bounty hunters at Jabbas palace. Also Jango was a trained Mandolorian foundling and the Mandolorians have always been able to hold their own against the Jedi, they fought wars against the Jedi for centuries.

The only way I see Jedi working is that they are extremely uncommon and actually very small in number. The loss of even one is a consequential blow to the jedi order. The prequels made them far too common and large in numbers to seem balanced in any way.

I really enjoy both of your commentaries - the amount of time I've said "Exactly, right??" out loud in my home while I'm watching your analysis is in the double digits now. Really intelligent and fun takes on these films.

The inconsistency in the ability of a Jedi to handle the Fett's, or mandalorians in general, is purely a construct of the fans. It's not a desire for the story to be told in a certain way for a certain reason. In the original trilogy, Boba Fett was a bounty hunter. And quite frankly, he was a terrible one. He was very little to the original story other than a hired minion, and he died in a very unceremonious way as most minions do. But because he had a jetpack, didn't have any lines and wore a cool looking outfit, the fanbase took him and ran with him and he became bigger than what he was ever intended to be. In the wake of the imagined badassness of a very mediocre character the entire race of the mandalorians was born who all wear that same type of armor and we are given a reason as to why he never showed his face or spoke in the 10 minutes that you saw him in the original trilogy. Now here George Lucas is decades later making the new prequels, and he's stuck having to make the Fetts a much bigger deal than they would have been if that character had never gain its surprise popularity because if he didn't, the fans would go insane. So a Jedi who fights one-on-one with a sith lord who's the apprentice of the emperor himself has to be forced to struggle against a guy with a jetpack and a blaster, because.......fandom. Also, what you guys said about the weakness of an entire army of Jedi in a clinch is something that I've been saying for a very long time. Both the Jedi Purge and Order 66 were truncated all to hell and were badly handled in the prequels. Later video games and Disney approved fanfiction have gone a long way in trying to make this more of a death by attrition and direct sith intervention, but for the sake of being brief, I'll simply submit the idea that this is something that should have had either its own standalone movie or an entire series dedicated to it given the define skill set of the order. Especially the masters. Because it shouldn't have been as easy for the empire to destroy the Jedi order as it was portrayed in the Lucas prequel films.

You need to make a video on birdemic shock and terror

Aside from the dreadful writing and the wooden performances, I also think that this is a really ugly film visually. Particularly the scenes on Geonosis. The color palette is awful, the frame is always cluttered. It’s just unpleasant to look at.

Unironically ep3 ia my 3rd favourite of the 9

Americans questioning their place in the world what? That’s a weird one 😂

wasn't the best but enjoyed this one

Chris's idea of the trilogy sounds really cool! Re: keeping peace with light sabers. The first Star Wars movie *was*, among other things, a Vietnam allegory where the good guys were not the U.S. So I wouldn't put it past Lucas to try his hand at something similar later on either. Anyway, this movie killed my faith in my critical faculties in a movie theater. When I walked out of the theater, I knew there were a couple of things I didn't like about it, but all the WHOOSH and ZOWIE and KAPOWW made me ecstatic and I was happy that Star Wars had Stars and Wars again! Upon rewatch, however... So, with some movies, I'm kind of happy to have an ecstatic movie theater experience and never watch said movie again. It's happened with every Star Wars movie since; with Ep7, I made the mistake of rewatching it at home.

The action in this movie is awesome and honestly outweighs the bad love story stuff.

where is ep 3

Attack of the clones has fantastic worldbuilding

A Crime Drama with paperwork is boring? You and Simone should watch the wire and then you will change your mind.

Lucas was married twice and still is. Are you?

Star Wars should have ended in 1983 after Return Of The Jedi. I suspect both of you may have never even seen the original theatrical versions of the original trilogy which is incredibly sad.