I MADE A MISTAKE AT 21:10 Elizabeth Swann isn't in Harry Potter, obviously. She is in Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003). Thanks for catching that, guys. Uuuuuuh I mean... IN MY OPINION YOU'RE WRONG.

Young Anakin: "Now this is Pod Racing. "Rian Johnson: Now this is Plot Raping.

You know you have a problem on your hands when Mark Hamill himself is telling you Luke is out of character in The Last Jedi

Honestly, if the goal was to bash men by emasculating Poe through Admiral Holdo, then they failed miserably as I sat there the whole time thinking she was a mole for the bad guys. Her actions and decisions were that destructive.

You know shit just got real when the reviewer busts out the army field manual on leadership, I'm serious that stuff is gold

Star Wars...Where the reviews are light years better than the movies...

Openly confesses to sexual discrimination and still has her job. Privilege level: EXPERT

Elsewhere in that leadership manual it lists "Be a good listener" and "Treat soldiers with dignity and respect. Leaders must show genuine concern and compassion for the soldiers they lead. It is essential that leaders remain sensitive to family members and include them in unit activities to the extent possible. Remember, respect is a two-way street; a leader will be accorded the same level of respect that he or she shows for others." Uhhh Rian, it's no wonder you can't write strong leaders. It takes one to know one. Or, in this case, write one....

"Get your head out of your cockpit" Star Wars - The Last Jedi, 2017 "You know why they call it a cockpit, righ..." Captain Marvel, 2019 Just so original and hilarious!

Wow mark hamills disappointment in that conference get me everytime

That moment when billionaires preach about income inequality in a movie that made more than a Billion

you can see a piece of mark's soul die when the audience claps to ruin roundhead not caring about the fans, it still makes me sad when I see it.

Damn! I didn’t know that I was a “manbaby.” For over 70 years I thought I was a woman. Maybe it was all that great kool-aid I drank in the 60s.🤷‍♀️

Listening to Kennedy is worse then fingernails on a chalkboard.

"Let the past die. Kill it if you have to." Say, how old is disney again?

Spaceballs is more Cannon like than the last Jedi.

Now that she’s palpatines granddaughter she officially fits every single Mary Sue trope

24:44 Mark Hamill: _"A lot of times I would say to Rian, 'You've got to think about the fans.' And he said, 'No. We've got to think about the story and we've got to think about OUR movie' " * idiots start clapping *_ Me: "THAT WAS CRITICISM, YOU MORONS!"

“If words of command are not clear and distinct, if orders are not thoroughly understood, then the general is to blame. But, if orders are clear and the soldiers nevertheless disobey, then it is the fault of their officers.” ― Sun Tzu Made me think of that quote when you were talking about Leia not taking responsibility for the battle plan.

you can literally see the moment mark hamills heart breaks....

Haldo ( speaking about Poe)" Get THIS MAN off my bridge." THIS MAN being the guy that Leia hand selected to solo ( no pun intended) the incredibly vital mission to obtain the incredibly vital map fragment that would lead to Luke Skywalker's location, who also was selected by Leia to lead the incredibly vital mission to destroy Star Killer base, both missions which he succeeded in, thus , in any sane world, earning himself commendations and perhaps a promotion, who was ALSO THEN SELECTED BY LEIA to SINGLE HANDEDLY perform a diversionary tactic ( which should have realistically been a suicide mission) to give the few remaining Resistance members a chance to escape, which he was ALSO SUCCESSFUL IN. What does he get instead ? Derision from Leia and Haldo. Well written. Very well indeed.

Why would Snope humiliate his second in command in front of all his officers thereby destroying the effectiveness of the entire command structure. It’s almost as if the writers have no understanding of what a competence hierarchy is....oh wait.

Mara Jade. Aurra Sing. Tahiri Veilla. Aayla Secura. Jaina Solo. Bastilla Shan. Kreia. Lumiya. Vergere. Daala. Darth Zannah. The Dark Woman. Shaak Ti. The Jedi Exile. Nomi Sunrider. Winter. Yaddle. Guri. Bria Tharen. Vestara Khai. Tenet Ka. Mirax Terrik. Laranth Tarak. Asajj Ventress. Darsha Assant. Tahl. Siri Tachi. Kerra Holt. Satele Shan. Barriss Offee. Luminara Unduli. Mon Mothma. Adi Gallia. Komari Vosa. Darth Talon. Marasiah Fel. Nyna Calixte. Delilah Blue. Jarael. Arden Lyn. Yeah, the old Star Wars hated strong female characters.

"Blood is thicker than water" is an incomplete quote. "The blood of a covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."

13:53 _"What kind of training did Kylo Ren need"_ Well, according to Rian, all Kylo Ren needed to do to "complete his training" was to kill an unarmed girl while his master held her down.

In the Army. Can confirm, if we operated like the forces in TLJ we would all be dead.

yup this movie is basically spaceballs without the self awareness

Just when you thought the prequels were bad, the last Jedi sneaks up on you like John Wilks Booth and blows your brains out.

From "As good as it gets" Receptionist : How do you write women so well? Melvin Udall : I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.

I was in theaters in 1977 as a kid. I was immediately captivated by the most visually stunning and character driven story I had ever seen. I realize I was young, but the film had such heart. I began collecting the toys. I loved the way each character was so well written. By the time Empire arrived I was a bit older and realized just how deep and dark the story had become. To me, Empire was perfection. When I compare it to the Last Jedi, how weak and useless the story is, the horrible characters, dialog, etc. Guess I am a fossil, but darn, what was Disney, Rian Johnson, Kathleen thinking?

You only left out one thing that I can think of ... HOW CAN REY SWIM LIKE A FISH GROWING UP ON A WATERLESS PLANET

@55:25 "Hope is like the sun" -General Gender Studies Why would somebody who travels through space and has been on many many planets in different solar systems say "The Sun" and not a sun, or a star? Something like Hope is like light from a star. There is no The Sun when you travel around the galaxy all the time.

Most anticipated line “No Rey, I am your mother!”

I don't care if the film is made by men or women I want to see a film that I will enjoy.

I can not believe how accurate the mary sue thing is holy crap rey is such a crap character

At this point the next movie should just be called, "Star Wars: No Refunds."

37:05 - "They're faster and lighter than we are." Actual response: "We have larger engines than they do, so it's impossible for them to be faster. Additionally, there's no resistance in space so they can't be _lighter_ either."

Timestamps - Part 1 Title crawl - 0:00 TV gag - 2:12 Kylo voice intro (why he's reviewing/abstract) - 4:18 Plinkhack intro (bad movie because/reception) - 7:46 1. Check your expectations - 11:58 2. The plot is so utterly contrived I can't bring myself to call this dumpster fire a movie - 25:50 3. Everyone is stupid idiots when it comes to military stuff/common sense - 35:34 4. Unsatisfactory answers and even more questions - 43:19 5. Script writing 101 - 48:54 6. Rian Johnson is a terrible comedian - 59:12 7. Rian Johnson doesn't understand physics - 1:04:29 8. Rey is still a Mary Sue - 1:12:21 - Personality: 1:13:12, Skills: 1:14:51, Appearance: 1:15:46, Accessories: 1:16:25, Relationships: 1:16:58, Story elements: 1:17:53, Author investment: 1:19:29 - Mary Sueness and further character: 1:19:46 Intermission - 1:29:40

This is so insanely educational, well-written and made. All hats off...

"Star Wars" remains the best trilogy to ever exist. The Holiday special foreshadowed the inevitable future we suffer today, again.

OF course Rey knows her parents, shes like 6 when she gets abandoned. My memory may not be perfect back then but id remember someone like, oh i dont know, the people i spent my entire life with so far.

The whole "light rises to meet the dark because balance" is bullshit and doesn't actually hold up in Star Wars canon. The Jedi did beat the Sith and force them underground for 1,000 years before Palpatine brought their plans to fruition, so it's not true that there's a forced balance like the new trilogy pretends. There are supposed to be actual consequences for the actions and choices of the characters in the universe, but Disney forced this "balance" bullshit as a way to handwave bad writing.

When red letter media said that they may skip the next star wars, I mourned because I thought there would be no one to rip it apart. BUT after watching your hack fraud review, I trust you to do it lol

Am i the only guy who points out that in some scenes luke has a robot hand on the wrong hand and then they switch it back

God sometimes I forgot I wasn’t listening to the real plinkett

So the April fools joke was that it wasn't an April fools joke? meta

Opening for Ep. 9: Luke wakes up cleanly shaven and in a brightly lit rebel quarters with the sound of water running. He is confused and cautious as he sneaks down a grey padded hallway that looks eerily akin to corridors of Bespin. He realizes the water he is hearing is a shower. He slowly reaches for the door and just as he is about to open the hatch, Patrick Duffy pops his head around the corner and asks Luke to hand him a towel.

46:00"Eat 40000 pizza rolls, swallow them whole if you have to. It's the only way to become what you were meant to be"

Please do episode 9 soon!! 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

A parody parodying a parody of a real reviewers review that's a real review.

Haha spaceballs is such a better Star Wars movie than the last Jedi 😂

I am not sure why, but I find you much funnier than the actual Plinkett. Are you going to do a Video about Episode 9 too?

please don't ever stop making content, because if you're not plinkett, i bet he's impressed. love redletter but you crafted a sharp narrative here. edit: 19:08 makes my case.

I think real Plinkett just succumbed to the reality of it all and it broke something inside of him so now he places the bar so low that nothing really shocks him anymore. Thus, a new Plinkett was born.

Oh, man, how can this be so funny, so accurate, so Plinketty? It's just great!

THIS is the best time I've ever spent on KZfaq... I LOVE this masterpiece analysis!

Another review dumping on the Last Jedi...I LOVE IT!!!

It's like a Plinkett from another dimension, where he didn't grow soft and didn't go easy on The Last Jedi! INTO THE PLINKETT-VERSE!

You know what that’s a good point. In TFA Snoke mentions some training Kylo needed to complete. Yet in the TLJ, the story picks up immediately and ignores that point.

Honestly, Rey embodies the “Mary Sue” trope to such a crazy extreme, more so than any other character I can think of from a big budget blockbuster film that’s been released and recognized worldwide, that I believe the trope should be renamed after her

It's time for the Jedi to end But no one's ever really gone. *slowclap* Disney

I love the part where Kathleen Kennedy unironically explains why forced gender diversity in filmmaking is inherently flawed

This video absolutely deserves more views. Your editing is hysterical! I guffawed at the 'don't ask questions' part with the Wizard of Oz superimposed.

I think that Dark Helmet and Colonel Sanders are more competent than Emo Ren and Ron Weasley (Hux).

This review is better than the movie itself and better crafted, well done Sir.

It is crazy how well the comparisons work with the last jedi and space balls.

What if Capitol Records released a brand new Beatles album, 12 new songs written, produced and recorded by Jimmy Buffet and DMX, with Paul Mccartney and Ringo Starr just appearing on the cover picture?

It's official! From Now on Johnson will be forever known as RUIN Johnson. Who's with me?

Nice MauLer cameo at 45:11 This is most excellent, by the way.

I clapped when I saw jokes from RLM, E;R and Müller. Again!

26:30 _"If the conflict in your story relies on the ineptitude of your characters . . . that's called SH*TTY WRITING!"_ This. Characters in this movie make stupid choices in order to keep the movie going. For example, in the first five minutes, 1) Hux attacks an empty rebel base, instead of destroying the Raddus because if he destroyed the Raddus, the movie would be over. 2) Hux sends 3 TIE fighters against the Raddus, instead of several hundred because if he sent several hundred, the movie would be over. 3) Hux doesn't send a few Star Destroyers through hyperspace ahead of the Raddus to cut them off because if he does that, the movie would be over. That long, slow, boring space chase, which takes up about a third of the movie depends on the First Order not knowing that they can do this whenever they want.

This deserves to be viral since you manage to surpass Mr plinkett

Writers who feel threatened by criticism claim critics are threatened by women.

How did you not bring up the fact that one of her skills is swimming despite living on a desert planet?

This movie is literally an insult to Mark Hamill and his dedication to his most famous role and its message. At least in Wing Commander they had the decency to have his character die doing something important.

here, here is a what if... what if the throwing the lightsaber scene was changed... to something else... She hands him the saber she found. He holds it in his hands, his eyes closed. Then a moment of a grimace across his face, his eyes, piercingly bright are open suddenly. And then he speaks. "This Saber, was a part of myself, I lost long ago, and only when I lost it did I begin to gain true wisdom." and then he holds it out to her almost but then he shakes his head and throws himself into another comment before she can take it though she doesn't move towards it unsure. "This is the saber that created the pain of the Jedi knights and the fall of the old republic, it is a saber that nearly cut down the Jedi master who trained me, and it nearly lost my fathers life, it did cost my mothers life, and left me adrift in a cosmic void, it cost Alderaan its life, its people that survived now refugees in space seeking hospitality wherever a free heart and helping hands are. This saber... cost the galaxy its morality and its peace for too long. It is a blade that betrays its owners to their own passions, that destiny has spoken on. Those that wield it will seek to use violence and the warrior's path, when they should seek wisdom and the enlightened path. Only when you discard your desire to fight, will you learn to bring peace, only when you know how to handle this blade and how to set it down will you find your folly and let it go. If you can find this blade again... I will have no choice but to train you." and then he throws the blade far behind him, deep into the ocean. and she has to go: what? what do you mean? Her again: why are you not training me?! Luke Skywalker: Iam teaching you, if you are to train, it must be you that trains you. Only you can choose to learn the lesson that I am teaching.. and he walks to the mountainside and stares at the ocean. her: what am I supposed to do? Luke Skywalker: you can go find the blade if you must, or you can train with the monks on this mountain to listen to the force. Or you can have soup with me tonight, it is a fine fish, and vegetable broth stew. I know quite a few ways to make the food here. Would you be intereested in learning the recipes? Rei Skywalker: Why?! Why won't you train me? Luke Skywalker: why, how did you find the blade? how did you find me? Rei Skywalker: it was given to me... both times... Luke Skywalker: now you must earn it, by listening. Go, find the blade if you want to be trained to be a warrior, and remember what I have told you about knowing when to set the blade down before it destroys you, and those you would try to defend. Rei goes off and searching for the blade disbelieving, considering going elsewhere or just talking with the monks, she watches the monks for a while in deep meditation has reservations about studying with them, and then goes and sits next to them and asks them if that is luke skywalker. Monk: Skywalker? He is simply a student at our monastery. Rei Skywalker: then where is luke skywalker? Monk: Luke Skywalker? You mean the great legendary son of Anakin Skywalker, formerly Darth Vader? Rei Skywalker: !? what?! Darth Vader is Anakin skywalker?! (for some reason lets say she doesn't know or lets just say that she doesn't even know she is a skywalker, but if she does this line can be skipped and it can be modified to be about the arrogance of knowing she is a grandchild of the legendary Anakin skywalker and a relative of Luke and Leia skywalker) Monk: in the end, there are students, those willing to learn, and there are those who are not students, who are unwilling to learn. names mean nothing in the grand scheme of things.... who are you? Rei grumbles for a while and after listening to other quiet whisperings of monks as they listen to the force and talk amongst themselves and talk with the nature, the life force around them, she goes and searches the water for the saber hilt

Part 1 and 2 are brilliantly done. In fact, they are 10,000 times better than The Last Jedi. My heart goes out to, Mark Hamil, this movie devastated and destroyed everything he believed in.

I need more blasters that sound like airhorns in my life. I laughed harder at that than I should've.

I wonder how many “everybody got that?” type lines are gonna be in TROS.

Olay, the leia flight scene and the [censored] scene had me dying of laughter. I also got my first kiss pretending to be Luke Skywalker and the girl princess Leia :^)

I'm not usually a fan of Plinkett impersonators, but this was damn well done. 10/10, will hold me over to the next Plinkett review.

I clapped when I saw pizza rolls

And now Rey is confirmed to be the granddaughter of Palpatine so she is related to one of the canon characters...making her even more a Mary Sue.

This is probably the most cogent and well formulated critique on this film I've seen. Excellent work!

Watching the 2 episodes for the second time right now! 1000 times more enjoyable than the movie. 10 times more complete than the Real Plinkett review.

OH MY GOD this deserves an Oscar for editing

Real talk. This is like the The Orville of Plinkett reviews. It’s well executed, thoughtfully put together fan fiction that managed to outperform it’s genuine counterpart at its best moments. If it wasn’t so nicely done, it would be super cringe. Instead it honors the O.G. with worthiness. This is like the level of care that Mike put into the Star Trek TNG movie plinkett reviews, and it shows. As an artist myself, I was curious at first about how I’d feel after seeing something like this that was based on my stuff. This would be a healthy dose of both flattery *and* motivation to push myself harder at my craft. I hope that’s how Mike feels from these.

By far the best review of this trainwreck. RLM's review was a total letdown

Damn. That explanation of what a Mary Sue is was amazing. I didn’t think that an explanation of that caliber existed. But you, good sir, subverted my explanation hard. Well done

I literally laughed out loud when the recorder started playing along with the title music.

Like to point out given what we now know from Episode IX, why would the Skywalker lightsaber call out to a Palpatine?

29:59 I would say that Rose is the Slippy of the Star Wars universe, but even that would be charitable as Slippy was at least useful enough to show you how much health the boss had.

Relate to Captain Phasma? Who are these people who could relate to her? Kathleen Kenedy?

So much hard work went into this. I hope this channel grows. If Plinket is Big Boss, you are surely Venom Snake. I hope you get that reference. Great work!

It’s funny that in the last Jedi the person with the most sense is a straight white male. Edit: do you think we can get people to boycott The Rise of Skywalker?

I remember seeing this in the theater and thinking "when is this going to be over?". Never thought I'd say that about a Star Wars movie. They could save the franchise with a 10 minute sequence at the beginning of Ep 9 saying that The Last Jedi was just Rey's vision of a possible future. Stain wiped clean, 2nd chance engaged.

The Mary Sue part was literally ON POINT ?!

The last jedi is the worst Star Wars movie ever EVERYBODY GOT THAT?

great work... continuing plinketts' legacy in a honourable way

24:44 - 25:10 The end of that fragment, with the build-up of the music and all, brings tears to my eyes each time I see it. TLJ was like God ruining the magical moment of bringing a deceased loved one you hadn't seen for over 30 years back to life, only for one day, and screwing it up by making that loved one appear on the other side of the planet, just to subvert you expectations and have a good laugh.