Yeah, exactly. It's about respect for *your* family.

I also think it depends on how long the friends stay. I remember from growing up that if it was like a planed thing like this saturday Im having a friend over, staying like all day they would eat with us and the other way around. But if a friend just came over to see if I wanted to hang out they didnt eat with us. Sometimes they called home and ask if they could eat. Its like you dont want the other parents to make dinner and the kid comes home and "no thanks, I already had dinner" they may have been waiting with dinner until the kid came home so everyone can eat at the same time. Yes you can save the leftovers but also dinnertime can be the only time that day everyone can sit down at the same time and talk.

I'm swedish, grew up in Sweden, born -89. When I grew up, we only ate at friends houses if the other parent was informed or the parents made this plan between them beforehand. Dinner-time with the family was usually the only time families had together and thus, it's a bit sacred. Usually both parents work, and don't get that much time with the family all together. It's also like op said, you don't want to make the other kids parents feel like they are inadequate or forced to feed someone elses kids, that would be rude. All in all, it's a culture thing.

Of course the friends were invited when we ate every time and its lovely how amazing it is to know your kids friends. We lived pretty much close to the Gothenburg city center so it was often we had other teenagers to stay over too. What a privilege!

If I went home with another kid we had afternoon snack together, usually sandwiches, and/or biscuits with milk chocolate or juice, sometimes icecream ... but I was supposed to get home for dinner, and leave before they had dinner. I recently listened to a scholar in "meal traditions" and he pointed out that food prices in Sweden were much higher than in most of Europe until the 80ies, so to have your child turn up for dinner unexpectedly in another household was rude.

And there they are in the US where spanking is still a thing

Your conclusion regarding the Jante law is the best I have ever seen. Regarding sexuality - when I was young in the 80's, students with strictly religious parents were exempted from sex education. They were the first to get pregnant.

I agree, and also depends on what they do and how often. Like coming home late. First time tell why its wrong and that next time you will be grounded or something. How can you do it right if you dont know what you did wrong?

@@madelenelidman5330 I sat 45 minutes in the hallway looking at a jar of marbles all over the floor, with my oldest son. Then 3 years old. - You better put them in the jar. I saw you throwing them all out. - No So then the challenge of will power and stubborness began. I won. He never forgot. He is 25 now. If you make the mess, you clean it up and the old man never ever let you off the hook, if he told you to do it. Alot of crying and yelling. I just calm told the consequences over and over again. You are not leaving here until you've done your job tidy up your mess. As sooner you do it, as sooner you can do something funnier than sitting here yelling. Are you having fun? NO! So why do you spend the evening sitting here watching marbles on the floor then? You can leave any time you like, when the marbles are in the jar. You choose to sit here. Isn't that quite silly? My most well spend 45 minutes of raising my son. A parents job is to give the kid what they need, not always what they want. If you do the work, take the fights right there and then, early on, the rest of the raising will be quite easy. Then you can spend most of the time inspiring, helping, supporting, giving goals in life, give them experience, argumentation. The balance between NO and YES following up through the years. And then in the teens start transforming your relationship towards fellow adults. As they become 18. Then the raising job is done. What haven't been done, will never do. From that day you are just a consultant. The endresult of the journey started with the helpless little toddler long time ago. You better do your job all those years. Step by step. When It's over I can lean back and say I didn't messed up that bad. They are doing allright. They will be fine. My job is done.

I have ADHD, and it took me almost twice as long to get my education as everyone else, but I graduated last June. Don't be afraid to get the extra support you need, there is no shame in needing a bit of extra help. I had extra time etc for assignments and such because I needed it. It is good that she has showed you that you can do the same as everyone else, but you are also good as you are and you don't have anything to prove. So, don't bend yourself into a pretzel trying to show that you can do it all without extra support if you need extra support, there is no point torturing yourself and wasting unnecessary energy and time. Get the help you need, you are perfect as you are and you can do whatever everyone else can, so not using the assets you have is just a waste. That said, I've heard there are a lot of problems with disability classes, so I'm glad you didn't have to go through that, points for mom! And 1000 points for you for staying in the fight!! 😌🍀✨

..some important differences...in Sweden HIV from sex doesent rly exist...due to our healthcare... if u get treathment for it its not a problem, while in us u need to be able afford it... also HIV medication is super effective now... not a single induvidual has died in the last 30 years or so... most also get completly virus free, with no side effects, in US diabetes(destroyed kindney function) is still a problem from it... wich lead to a need for more medication...that u need to pay for... a dawnward medical debt spiral...

I’m a Swedish. I have two sons and the oldest is 14, will turn 15 in August. My younger son is 8. If there hasn’t been an evaluation early, before they start school (at age 6), there is quite a long wait until the child is admitted for an evaluation of neurodivergence. We are now waiting for our 8 years old to even be admitted - he has been remitted by the School doctor to the special children psychiatry in Sweden called BUP. The older son who is 14, had his diagnoses set by the age of 7. He has autism, adhd and OCD. It can be very difficult in school, and many schools don’t have a separate division for the kids with special needs. There are a few private schools for kids with special needs but they are very few. We are lucky to have our kids in a school where there is a special division and my son goes there full time. Some kids go there part time and belong to a common class. My son could never function well in the common class and in 5th class it started to become seriously bad. He would sit outside the classroom in a side room with an assistent. But it was difficult, he felt lonely, different and even worse - he felt worthless. In 6th grade the special division was extended with a lot of extra specially adapted aids in a new renovated area in the school. Now in 8th grade he is at peace with school, still struggling with some of the grades. But the class only containes around 15 pupills with 3 teachers and the class is mixed by 7 graders up to 9 graders. In some cases there has even been 10 graders when it has been a need for that. He now has friends and don’t feel lonely ,not different. Teachers there are great! But many schools don’t offer this solution in Sweden, which is very bad and sad. I need to add, if there is a severer diagnosis set, then there are other schools, when the intellectual part is below a certain level. The difficulties I explained is for the children who have an intellect which is average or even sometimes extremely high, but with neurodivergence.

@@CarolinasConcertVids wow. thanks for your input. I know that in the US people usually try to get their kids in as early as possible. it's really been on the radar in the past 3-5 years.

0,004 of swedes get it vs 0,008 of americans

No they dont. On germany its dependend on the teacher. Some classes have so difficult parents... I just wouldnt do it. You cannot win .

@@samu6874 imagine that. Never even thought about it before. So I guess teaching a 5 year old how to use a knife in daycare is also just a Danish thing. kzfaq.info/get/bejne/gNGZnM1qybDKk6s.html

Sweden does, ages 12ish to 15 ish has what we call "hemkunskap" roughly translated to knowledge of/atound the home. We got taught to cook, cleaning tips, laundry and some knowledge surrounding purchasing goods and laws around that