Which Moon?

S3V3N13TT3R5 One of my favourite Stephen Fry meltdowns on QI is him yelling at Rich Hall "BECAUSE IT WAS DISCOVERED IN NINETEEN, NINETY, FUCKING FOUR!" When Rich asks about why no songs have been written about the alleged second moon orbiting the earth.

There are two moons?

True I looked it up there arn't. the other objects that "orbit the earth" actually orbit the sun and just happen to have a similiar orbit of the sun as earth..so it appears as if there following or orbiting earth but are not moons since they orbit the sun not earth and just happen to appear to orbit us

+crunch9876 That "sentence" actually made me nauseous..

Why, that's bescheuert.

But it should be downgraded somewhat seeing as Phil jupitus said it

@@strawberrykicker2 Why though? Jupitus has some of the best lines. I was crying along with Stephen with the child buffing workshop one.

@@nervesconcord "It's not theeeeeeeerrrre." is a personal favourite of mine. "Miraaaaaaaaaaggge." Funny shit.

"well i do confess myself defeated" is also a great line but only mr.fry can pull that one off

Well, Stephen Fry is a native English speaker, and if he wasn't told , he'd be lost too. Lol

I m proud of you as well bonny lad... wi' a geet barra full of love from Newcastle. Xxx

@@moiragoldsmith7052 Don't confuse the poor bairn

@@mattnar3865 🤣 xx

You did well! ㅋㅋㅋ

i have seen rich hall live, as he does tours all over england, i am pretty sure he is more clued up about an newcastle accent than stephen is

"is like"

So is Stephen!

If only Rick had seen Snatch. "I thought this country spawned the fucking language, and so far nobody seems to speak it."

He's lived there for years. He knows whats going on, as he said in one episode "I've been here for (x) years, I know what a quid is."

LMAO

Just like the Chinese Godfather.

Check out “Comfort and Joy (1984)” Bill Forsyth’s movie about ‘crime families’ fighting over territory in Glasgow. Hilarious.

Chinese Godfather rip off smh

give you some fried marsbars

That isnt actually how it goes with him, if you read any of his books he talks about his depression and anxiety mainly over past mistakes and feeling like he made himself look like a fool, this fear has led to suicide attempts

I absolutely cannot imagine there is ever any circumstance in which Stephen Fry has looked like a fool to anyone besides himself. I, on the other hand, manage that roughly 6 times daily. It doesn't seem fair that the most capable people are also the most insecure. But maybe that's why they're so capable.

It would seem that it is simply common across any human capable of self-examination to have self-doubts. Only the hardcore narcissists and egomaniacs seem to be missing this.

Xezlec, couldn’t Stephan’s example be an indicator that maybe you, too, sell yourself short?

Making fun of one's self is a common English pass time.

He's not wrong.

@@anzaca1 he's being ironic and making fun of people who would actually react like that ... i.e. you.

@@Jay-jn6ul as opposed to the buzz killing spastics who need to explain one joke as another goes over their head. I.e, you.

@@doesyomamaknowtho1468 wow someone's a little grumpy 😂 Also a bit desperate to interpret something as a joke which clearly isn't. P.S. it's "buzz-killing", "i.e." and "heads"✌️

@@Jay-jn6ul yo mama

What, like the leak in my kitchen sink?

Or he knew perfectly well what he was getting into and just wanted to tell in a convoluted way to those people that they're uneducated in their own native tongue.

Took me a second, but I got the second joke. I genuinely find it funny. Can't figure out the Walt Disney one. I assume 'Disney' in a Scottish accent sounds something like 'doesnt he' or something. Even though that's not grammatically correct, I assume it basically sounds like some form of way to say 'he doesnt'.

NormanMatchem If I understand, you can substitute Disney for didnae (did not) because they rhyme.

Mikeoneus Ah, I see now, right on. It's all well and good to be living in Canada, I love this country, particularly my home island of Newfoundland, but it'd be interesting to see what it's like to live in the UK as my ancestors 150-200 years ago did. They probably would have gotten the joke right away... well, if you told them who Saddam and Walt was in the first place lol

NormanMatchem I can tell you they wouldn't have gotten it at all. It doesn't work. Walt Disney did have a moustache, as you probably know, which contradicts the joke.

***** Oh, I didn't know he did, I don't really know what he looks like, I just grew up with his movies

Now I get it

+Evi1M4chine "War drums" = "Our drums"

+Phil K If your going for the outrage complex, the first part of your diatribe completely destroyed your argument. mug

Andrew Caldwell and who the fuck are you sunshine?

Fuck off Miguel. Go stack some shelves.

Hey, I'm american, and would like to get a little better understanding of the UK. I've heard before references to being from the north or south, in a pejorative tone. What's the implication to being from the north or south? Also, what's a geordie?

New Zealandan by the sounds of it

Cephalonimbus Did they say they were Australian or did you guess because I have a feeling they were a newzealander?

@@Lucy-ng7cw If he asked for sex igs he was a kiwi.

'Luckily chickens in Australia don't have that thick of an accent' nearly killed me.

Lol this feels like a spin off of the lyrics from Downunder by the Men at Work: Buying bread from a man in Brussels He was six-foot-four and full of muscle I said, "Do you speak-a my language?" He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich

James Thomas 100th thumbs up

They be like a bunch cunny linguists, hey pudsey

Nonsense.

@@corriedebeer799 canny

No it isnt, his newcastle accent is terrible. Nobody talks like that up here. Maybe middlesborough but even then its shit

Almost started CRYING I was laughing so hard at that one.

Nice profile pic

@@LewsterRedux It took a while for me to understand it, nice one

Yorkshireman goes to the vets with his cat. The vet says "Is it a Tom?" The Yorkshireman replies "No, I brought it with me."

@@TheSmart-CasualGamer you have to explain that to me

@@TheSmart-CasualGamer oh

The only thing bad about your English was the lack of a capital E. 😉

My God! You're so pretty!

And get their uniforms tailored by Gorringe's, like Stephen's. (Look that clip up)

Poor Stephen was born 200 years too late - he would have made a fantastic colonist / Colonial Governor Apart from being completely ignorant of their culture, he would have been loved by all as a truly fair and rational human.

Yes I was thinking that "wor" sounded similar to the Swedish "vår".

Fun fact: in Danish the definite article goes at the end of the noun, so hund (dog) goes to hunden (the dog), which also goes to hundene (the dogs). :)

WHU Forever Not in all dialects of Danish, which is my point.

Oh cool. Never knew that.

Også Sønderjylland..............or as I know it ´´Gods own land ´´. Bill.

Wor not War

Yeah it's wor as in gan to see wor Debbie in the toon to have a few bevvies

NOW I UNDERSTAND THE JOKE! Thank you! Im from Denmark, Copenhagen :-)

@@dlf4542 blame your Norwegian cousins for our fucked dialect aha

@@dlf4542 don't apologise :)

The Irish Viking it’s because for so much of history small communities had less interaction so they developed their own accents. When Australia was colonised it was a time where travel was becoming much easier so there was more interaction between different regions so fewer accents developed.

@@Lucy-ng7cw I feel like that doesn't happen with other languages though That might just be my lack of familiarity with them though and the languages I am familiar with are spelt and said phonetically so not easy to get multiple accents with a speaking guide built into the language

The Irish Viking I do not speak any other languages so I cannot say but I know Arabic has many dialects some which can’t even understand each other, German also - Swiss German can be hard to understand. I think having standardised spelling probably helps but for much of history most couldn’t read anyway. Italian, Norwegian and Spanish all have many dialects. Chinese also has many dialects but their writing system is not phonetic so they could fit your hypothesis well.

@@Lucy-ng7cw I'm learning Japanese which is phonetic but I'm no where near good enough for everyday use yet My current level is helpful in watching anime sometimes though

Fussbudget the Ninth In some places in Canada you have to travel hundreds of miles before you even come across another human being. In some places there are so few people they share the false teeth. Dinner can last for hours.

An argument? A fist-fight? A drinking contest?

​@XL3NN0N Down the Bigg market they're regularly all the same thing.

Pigeons, ferrets,whippets, owt else?

@The Normal One the whippet won crufts. I missed out flat caps and hobnailed boots, haha, Durham Lad.

@@geoffwheadon2897 Leeks.

Alan, Phill and Bill (Bailey) are all great mates in real life. Any QI episode with two of them is worth watching - but all three is gold.

Jeeez...one of my favourite jokes of all time. Xxx

HAHA. I just saw this comment. I had to say it out loud to get it. I ugly laughed out loud.

I don't get it, help, please!

@@mistrallle perm// poem

@@belladingdong3396 thank you

Chilliard2000 much niser than the male pudenda.

Chilliard2000 I had never heard the word pudenda. Of i wanted to be polite I would use the word genetalia or genetils

@robert walton I'm dyslexic. Excuse me.

Probably a lot more if you talk about how endangered they are and how difficult it is to get them to breed. :3

@Thomas Nichol Your entire language has Scandinavian influences from the vikings.

@Thomas Nichol True.

@Thomas Nichol They actually first landed in East Anglia, and then conquered York. Yorkshire and the East Midlands are the areas most heavily settled by Vikings, with Northumberland being comparatively ignored. Weird when you consider Northumberland, and North East accents and dialectics in general are the most Scandinavian in England.

@@ScootsMcDootson Funnily enough we're somewhat East Anglians ourselves, haha!

@@ScootsMcDootson not true the first raid on england by vikings was Lindesfarne of the coast of Northumbria. Northumbria was not ignored as the story goes the sons of ragnar conquered most of england starting with the death of King Aelle of Northumbria. Also both Halfdan Ragnarson and Erik Bloodaxe ruled here

Thank you, Mr Sophisticate. Your makeup might crack if you smiled.

At least your relatives aren't Cumbrian... Holy shit.

@@Godzirra-San I'm cumbrian and I dont know what some people say half the time

​@@Godzirra-San Interesting, I grew up 20 years in Sunderland (next to Newcastle, similar dialect*), and then moved to Cumbria. Immediately I found Cumbrian to be much more flat and easy to understand than Geordie

@@Zerenko thats coz youre a mackem ...... not the brightest of folk :)

@robert walton true! my bad

Honestly, that's the very one that I'm the most sick of... I'd much rather watch the one where Sandi has the little sailboat where "it's something about the wind"...

it's great, but what about the delicious turtle bit?

Wait, so the reason it sounds like "war drums" when they say "our drums" is because they kept a more Scandinavian version of "vores" or "vor" for "vor drums"?

Well said PET!

With the dialectal variation in Germany, I feel like most Germans would understand your example, too. Reminds me of another example. Well long ago, I watched a video of a Scottish friend lifting an atlas stone. His buddies were shouting "stand up now" but it sounded sth like ... well I just realised I couldn't phonetically type that in English but to me it sounded 100% like a Low German saying the exact same thing (as far as I can tell as someone who doesn't speak Low German).

***** Ferns = phones and war = our. It's not that hard. (And a Google search reveals canny = nice.)

***** If you think a newcastle accent is hard to understand, try listening to the american south.

Steve Howe Haha that is exactly it! I'm from the Southeast US and this is not difficult to understand at all. I suppose y'all have so many special accents you think no one outside of the UK can understand them, but honestly it's not hard to understand this!

That's an old joke, so old that it's in an episode of Dad's Army, when Mainwaring and Wilson are sitting in the basement of the bank holding a bomb and Mainwaring tries to lighten the mood. Cracked me up first time I heard it.

Ha. I had to say it out loud with the accents to get it. I totally misinterpreted the first go round.

Suzanne Wippert Yeah, you have to do the accents to make it work. lol

A+ Shadow! 👍🏻 Im from Texas and got it straight away, well done Sir.

Dads Army at all? :P

***** If you ever think about coming up North, I'd suggest getting the hang of telling geordies and mackems apart beforehand. Unless you dislike your face, of course ;)

***** its horden, and thats county durham accent not mackem or geordie

***** Geordies pronounce our like war and the guy said that they're playing war drums, he then said them thieving bastards... Get it... War is Our in Newcastle

James Hunt But it's spelled wor :)

i'm from italy, never been to newcastle and i got it ^^

My brain

You know it, you do.

I think context and intent is very important when thinking about these jokes, if it is lighthearted and meant to be "we all have a unique way of speaking and the difference barrier makes it interesting and funny" like in this clip, its okay. If its "hahaha you speak funny and need to learn to speak better" its not.

​@@ShougoAmakusa It's mainly about not having a chip on your shoulder. Stephen even says "well they must go to school, it's just ridiculous, I'm sorry - not good enough!" An ignorant person might take offense to that, but the joke is fine because of the understanding of the need to be able to take a joke; one or two people full of bitterness choosing to take it as a personal slight would not make it so.

where i live in the the north east of england i could sit in a pub with people from four diffferent towns within 5 miles from where i live and they will have completely accents ,obviously someone not from our area would not know the difference.

@@gonkheed :grins: I had a similar experience when I first moved out of my parents and struck out into the world ... moving all of eight miles :eek: ... and, as I was moving into the little terrace I was going to rent, one of the new neighbours came along to say hello. I didn't understand what he said. At first I thought I hadn't heard him properly because I was distracted with unloading boxes and so on. So I said the obligatory "I'm sorry?". He spoke again and I *was* listening this time ... no joy. "Sorry, I didn't hear you; must be the traffic. Say again?". Third time unlucky. And that left us in *that* territory ... neither of us knew what to do or say ... and he just went back to his house :D. I realised at this point that I was in another land where people didn't speak English! I'd moved from a country town in Staffordshire to the city of Stoke and in that short hop the accent and dialect changed so much it was incomprehensible to me :O. My ear soon adapted because it did turn out to be English they spoke after all but I remember the shock to this day :lol:.

Corve for coal basket, korb in German. Bairn for child, barn in Norwegian.

Love the accent and, yes, I can understand it, but I’m lucky I’m from the North West. I do need subtitles for anyone down South as I cannot understand a word they’re saying.

@@drewjohnson9498 I’m going to say the EHN word MRS. OBAMA GET DOWN

How can you be a descendent of Custer when his only son died in childhood?

I think it's basically because Scandinavian languages have something in common with old English, and Geordie is basically the most similar to how everyone used to speak in England. While the rest of England softened their vowels, Geordies resisted the change.

Yep. Even in Scotland, we often say "oor" or "wir", very similar to "vår"

@@jtpinnyc I think it's because there were a lot of Viking invasions and settlements in that part of England - hence the Scandinavian language link.

@@heliotropezzz333 exactly right Helen , Geordie , a mixture of Scandinavian , Northumbrian , and Anglo Saxon . Strong Viking , influence in the northern accent . Bairn , barn . Hyem , home . Etc , etc , all Scandinavian .

@@jtpinnyc I can kind of understand old English when listening to it. A mixture of English words, Nordic words and a few german words.

I'm Australian, and most of the people I know are idiots. They can't understand anything anybody says in any accent apart from Australian. I never have a problem with accents that I can think of, but most do. They even misunderstand me occasionally because I have a tiny bit of my Grandad's accent, who comes from North London. Australians in general can just be a bit thick

Flip2Krook Maybe you should go outside a little more.

So yi tellin iz a cannit taak ti any foreignaz lyk this? A divvint naa aboot that lyk. When I've been to foreign countries people always assume me and my fiancee are either Dutch or German, never English :P

Flip2Krook I can relate. I'm American & generally have a much easier time understanding accents than anyone I know; I have no idea why this is. Australian accents in particular seem to trip up my friends and family. I love the film, "The Dish" and was recommending it to everyone until they started to tell me they couldn't get the jokes because they couldn't understand the dialogue. I couldn't believe it.

+MadPaperPeople dey do dow, dont dey dow?

+MadPaperPeople Ken Dodds dads dogs dead

+MadPaperPeople yes d do though don't day

+mryanik0 are you singing the hamster dance melody?

EY EY EY EY EY

aye a lot of geordie comes from scandanavian languages, think because of the whole viking invasion thing

Same mate it’s great

I’m from Mississippi and my wife is from Durham. Five years and I still can’t understand her, half the time.

I had a similar thing with the recession when I was little, because they would always be talking about fannie mae on the news but there's also a midwestern chocolate company called fannie may and I was always confused why a confectioner chain was such an important economic indicator

the initial joke is a grammatical one in that allan is using grammar as a play on words for the plant 'fern' and the name of one of the hosts of the show children in need 'ferne cotton' so when stephen asks 'do you know anything about ferns' (the plant), allan responds 'ferne's what?' (the person). the first part of phil jupitus' joke is that he uses geordie slang 'they make a canny noise like' ('canny' can sometimes be used in context to mean 'a lot' as well as a play on words where 'ferns' is spoken in such a way that it should sound like 'phones'). the second joke about the soldier is that the general says 'they've got WAR DRUMS' in reference to the sound being made, but in geordie terms it can be said 'they've got WOR DRUMS' where 'wor' is a geordie term for 'our' making it seem like the enemy in this story has stolen the 'war drums' from the side of the soldier and the general.

@@rogoth01themasterwizard11You are my hero. Thank you so much.

Fearne's Fern I'd imagine.