heyyy everyone! here's the "nice guy" video I mentioned above, enjoy! kzfaq.info/get/bejne/bpyqpaid2p6qZXk.html

One of the easiest ways I've found to stop people pleasing and seeking approval is this: when you meet someone, instead of thinking "how can I get this person's approval?", think "how can THIS PERSON get MY approval?" -- remember that YOU are the star of your own movie and everyone else just makes cameos💫✌️

“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner” [Lao Tzu]. People pleasing is rooted in fear and is focused on earning love. Real love does not accommodate fear 😊

Moral of the story 1. Know your worth 💰 2. Don’t use others to validate you 💪 3. Your external identity Is NOT your reality🧘🏻‍♂️ 4. Practice unconditional love ❤️ 5. Balance your masculine and feminine 🌊

Once you stop pleasing other people, you make it easier to manifest anything that you desire. Please yourself and work within and it shall reflect on the outside. Peace 🙏🏽

-be yourself -please yourself -seek approval from yourself -not care what others think of you This is how I stopped people pleasing

May all your dreams manifest ❤️

People pleasing is a big hurdle and realization for abused/neglected kids and empaths. It's also a big deal and brave to admit that we are people pleasers. Lots of people try to take advantage of our kindness. Remember, number one is the most important. Great video! Lots of us need to hear this.

Women Who Run With the Wolves is such an incredible book that helped me heal my deep mother wounds from an abusive/narcissistic mother ❤️ And healing this taught me boundaries and self worth which in turn eliminated the people pleasing patterns that I was programmed with xx

Aaron, thank you, I just had an epiphany, and tears rolled down my cheeks. I just realized why I had three failed marriages on top of many other failed relationships. All my life, I was a people pleaser and when I dared to be me the relationships wouldn’t last. Well that’s it, it’s over, for the rest of my life I will be me and nothing else. I doesn’t mean that I’ll be rude but I’ll stick to who I really am. No more Mr. Nice Guy. I’m reclaiming my own power and taking my own course now. Thank you again.

Validation and approval seeking is conditioned into our subconscious mind between the ages of 1 to 7 and we will live our whole life being people pleasers to get the validation. Awareness is the Key ! :) Namaste and Love

Kindness is not the same as niceness. Much deeper, eternal

"It's not that i hate or dislike people in general. I just value my time and energy so much that I've decided how to respond & when respond.

I have always felt as though I am responsible for over people happiness (my parents, friends ect). But actually I just need to focus on how I am impressing myself!

We cannot save anyone from themselves, but you can give them encouragement. I also am a people-pleaser, and I know that it doesn't work. People take advantage more and more and lose all respect for you. Thank you for pointing this out to me. What I got out of it was thinking that I was the better person, thereby shoring up the ego.

The greatest horror of a people pleaser is when his help is not needed.

Its took me till recently to finally start getting out of the trap of being a people pleaser. I'm now gaining my independence, doing my own thing and as you say, starting to become the star of my own movie. Keep up the good work, your videos have helped me massively!

You are either letting the matrix drain your energy, or you are using that energy to create

My parents adopted a special needs boy when I was 7 and ever since then I felt like I had to be the perfect kid to make up for his behavior. It surfaced the other day when I said something minor that upset my mom and I burst into tears from guilt. It’s crazy how it’s coming to light now. Thank you for this video 💕

One day I made the decision to stop craving my parent's love and just accept what is. Since then, I gave myself that love and discovered thats where true love comes from. I also saw my parental conditioning patterns within my relationships. My parents didn't promote my self expression and many times halted it. I attracted relationships where I didn't feel seen or heard, and couldn't be myself. Amazing once you make the associations and break out of the pattern.

Yeah! The intro was funny! Something that helped me shift out of people pleasing into self love was a quote I saw somewhere. It said “I no longer allow other people’s opinions of me determine my self worth!” That was a game changer for me. Once I sat with it and then applied it, everything shifted! 💜🌟

Needed this. Quite synchronistic that this popped into my inbox actually lol

Gotta love yourself before trying to love someone else! I was that guy at one point (people pleaser) Grow thru what you Go thru! 1Love & Namaste sir!

I agree - my life has gotten so much better once I stopped caring what others thought and just did whatever I wanted instead! So true, thank you for what you do Aaron :)

I don't know the key to success but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.....

This video was one of a big confirmation of why I was getting a spiritual messages to be more courageous in life Thank you, Aaron :D Sending positive energies to him and anyone who reads this comment 😁😁😁

You explained my entire family. I actively tell them that what ever I do, it's going to be because I choose to

SO Important . i stopped caring what others thought of me , its liberating folks . just give more then you take

Being a “nice guy” isn’t the most fair approach your your mental health and spirituality😌

I really needed to see this. Literally almost in tears bc this (was) literally my LIFE. from relationships to work to family always been a people pleaser. Learning to self reflect alot &check myself. Everyday I watch a video from your channel &get my lesson for the day❤️You're changing lives keep doing what you're doing 🙏🏾

And the sad thing is that every time I express the real me people don't like it. And it's not that I mean or rude or anything I'm just honest. I have been shamed and criticized so much for just speaking my truth.

Become the blessing that you're looking for in this univedse...when you become love it will surround you.....

If you are nice, you cause problems down thre road when you stand your ground. You shock people. Then, the people you thought were your friends you find are not. People who would have been your friend are gone because they thought you were wishy washy. JUST WHAT I've noticed. Finding balance is the 🔑. Hard after abuse.

At one time, I couldn't say No to ANYONE, someone asked me for something or to do something for them even if I really didn't want to do it, I would do it, if I could. I didn't care if they liked me or not. It was I felt like I should or I would feel guilty or bad about myself. I don't know where I got this from because my parents were loving and supportive and kind people. I lost them though when I was 18. I ended up losing my home and bring homeless for years because of my not being able to say No. There is allot of people out there that look for people like us to take advantage of. I have grown so much since then and now I can say No kindly and not feel badly about it but it was a struggle and I am Grateful for this lesson. How much you Love and respect yourself is how much you will be loved from others. Accepting yourself is key to make this transformation. The best thing I did was stop caring about what other people think about me. I learned that being in the street for almost 5 years there's so much judgement out there & you feel it, I knew who I was and I was walking my path and came out the other side of a hard won lesson that I'm now grateful for. Thankyou Aaron Doughty for your videos I've been watching you for years since my awaking in Jan. 2017. Aloha

Right on target 🎯. I had to help my husband a little bit with this. He took a lot of abuse from his parents and didn’t realize it. It’s so important to embrace your masculine characteristics. It’s OK to be whoever you are 100%

I was raised to serve others at my own expence and abandoned for being one

When you try to please everyone you end up pleasing no one! Thanks for your videos, they've been helping me so much!

Seeking for validation on the outside and not receiving it,it is one of the root cause of suffering. Indeed the key to reveal your true authenticity and actually unleash your true potential is to let go of the need to please anyone apart from you . Everyone on the outside is an aspect within. I believe everytime you're pulled to please someone, ask yourself which aspect in you are they? Then please that part of you 😊✨ Amazing content bro 😊✨

Did anyone else notice the white lights behind Aaron at the 17:00 mark? They are going crazy behind him. 🤍🖤♥️ Great video Aaron! I appreciate you! 🙏🏼💕

I dont hold much of a desire to be understood by those who dont understand themselves. That would make them a dumby, and me dumber for agreeing with whatever ideas they concoct...

Totally agree Aaron. I used to be a people pleaser as well (I used to literally carry around lens wipes in my backpack even though I didn't even wear glasses just to please my friends who do wear glasses). It is so much better to just be myself and I have gained so many genuine friends by just being myself. It gives you so much of your power back. Thank you for your great content!!

Validation Approval and Love-thats what the people pleasing wants.

Thank you!!! I a m currently doing all of this. I happen to be with a guy who simply won't stay if I stopped ppl pleasing. Its all about him. Ive lost my identity. Plz make more videos with some pointers on how to stop doing all the things above. Identifying the problem is half the battle, and Ive realized I have absolutely no boundaries. I do everything I can for him and its never enuf.

I have been a people pleaser for my entire life. I have just started saying no. I was drained and depressed from always giving and not receiving.

You have been more helpful than any therapist I've ever sat with.

I’ve been feeling terrible about trying to accomplish the impossible task of pleasing everyone around me, as though it was “my” responsibility. Then bam- your video was uploaded. Thank you Aaron, I appreciate your channel very much. You’ve helped me a lot through all of the changes in my life in the past year. Hope to see you on a stage one day 💙

Say yes to yourself stop abandoning yourself for the other… What a beautiful lesson to learn not so beautiful at the time though❤❤❤

absolutely, it came down to my parents having to people please....it can continue from your parents when your middle age....it's tough...do what you want to do to make you happy 💖💖

Wow! Aaron, this was absolutely fantastic! Thank you for this! “My value is innate” is my new affirmation!

Wow! Law of Attraction!! you just showed me my own awaking from this level of people pleasing. I didn’t know that was what this was, but yay!!! I have not jumped on the band wagon for a lot of things happening in the world because I know what I want. I am defining who I am and I am aligning for my own desires and that will benefit all. Really cool stuff!! Thanks bro! 😎

Yup. Parent pleaser right here. Only my way to recovery where some days are better than others

That was my biggest problem being the nice guy is a cover to not get rejected and playing it safe but in reality it just makes your fear of rejection a reality. The sad thing is most people aren't aware they are people pleasing

"I love you if...." we spent a childhood learning it and our adulthood unlearning it.

Thank you so much, I have a Masculine polarity and this perfectly describes me my life is forever changed now

Yeah! You are talking about me! But now I’m COOL😎❗️

I do understand what you are saying but please know we do need more nice guys in this world.

Set yourself some boundaries and stick to them!

I please myself with my right hand.

Whoever is reading this May all your dreams come true 🤗

Love this video ! I used to people please a lot. In life I figured out how to use this "People Pleasing" as a tool. Being able to differentiate the ideas and actions and being able to use it only when necessary, but mostly around new people. Showing this way to lead by example with new people I meet and the younger kids. Thanks Aaron for your very helpful video. Much love, light and compassion. 💗👍

I just heard something SO COOL; .... feeling successful is different than BEING successful.

In order to stop people pleasing you must put the energy back on yourself💫become your own hero🌟sending love and blessings to you all✨🙏🏻

I used to do things for people for love, now I do things for people from love.

Solution of the video: Conditional love makes the person receiving it a people pleaser.. Thanku sir 🙏🙏

This is Awesome! I had worked on this in the past...apparwntly still have some more work to release this behavior. Yes~ please dive deeper on how to heal and release this unproductive behavior. Love and Light Blessings 💓💥

I love the fact that you are such an important figure right now in this super important time in history, and your ego doesn’t give a flying f. You’re so genuine.

My moms friend Pauline bred Pomeranians. Small fluffy dogs. She named one of her males Nice Guy. Masculines please note that Nice and Kindness are not the same thing. Kindness is genuine and thoughtful. The difference is that the Nice Guy/Nice Woman usually gets walked over like a doormat unless you're around a very loving person who cares about you and who wont take advantage of you.

People pleasers, deep down, don't please to make other happy. They only THINK they do. Underneath that is their desire to be liked by others. Others sense this, and recoil. Then the people pleasers get angry that they didn't get the response they wanted. Also, in listening to your story about the friend/climbing - your people pleasing was going to take away from her experience of doing something for herself, just so you could feel better. When we people please, we inherently disrespect the people around us and and use them for our aims.

Yeah your right stop pleasing people , an see where that takes you, matter of fact don’t even please yourself, that’s why we have so much to give , what else are we going to do with it

Yes! Aaron you are right! It’s inside. Love comes from the inside. I’m almost 50 and just learned about that.

When you say no to being a people pleaser, you are saying yes to yourself

thankyou mr aaron i got to know the root cause of my pleasing behavior after this video just two hours ago i am stuck with this for past 4 years reason was someone i loved dint love me back their rejection made me feel like im unworthy of love this made me please that person more...this is where my pleasing behavior started thankyou so much Mr Aaron doghty 😭😭🙏🙏

True for women too. Finally owning this as what it was. This coronavirus time has really helped because I literally could not please anyone in any way since I couldn’t visit anyone. Plenty of time to think. And finally saying almost loudly “I’m not going to be a puppet and you be the story teller. You can’t influence me to bend over backwards, listen to your abuse, keep to myself what I’ve known to be true-it’s all out now”.

Hells yeah brother. Love your content. Been a subscriber from 25k ✌️

LMFAO the intro 🤣💕

You are so relatable, its like you are telling a part of my story but you are the male version. You're Awesome thanks so much.❤

Aaron love it, i think feeling gratitude is key for succes. Uploaded today a new video😃❤

I want to point out one important thing. Many time People, especially Men, go to the other side on the scale with their mental Block. That is not healing, that is still the same Block. Pleaser can start to be rude and just take not give. Developing neutrality is our way. Practise to tell their own truth and will and giving from heart. So many times we choose the model of another parent in different situation. When Pleaser is in the relationship only giver and healer, next time he many times decide to just take. If this happens, it is still the Block.

Amazing and eye opening, I’m going through the process of only just now realising I’m a people pleaser at 30yrs old and I don’t want to be anymore. I’ve only recently learned that in any situation where someone basically says we’re all doing something, it not even being a question at times - I’ll ask myself if it’s something I actually want to do, and if not I won’t be doing it. For the first time I said no to camping with my husbands family because I was burned out from work already and needed me time. Funny enough my husband ended up not going either, after he felt I was ditching him a bit, even though I wasn’t, and then he realised he didn’t want to go either! I told him we’re not joined at the hip and if I need me time I’ll be saying no to something and saying yes to me. I felt authentic finally! I want to do this with work too but it’s a process. I appreciate your video! And will be saving it to watch it again 😊🙏🏻🙏🏻

I am so grateful for your and your content. Every video you make applies to my life. Because of you, ive been able to detach myself from the toxic relationship ive been in for 6 years. Im so excited about my future more than ever! I cant thank you enough!

Synchronicity at its finest. The timing of this video couldn't be better! My friend wants to make a youtube channel with me, and while he's enthusiastic about it, I'm not so keen and I didn't know how to tell him so I pretended to be enthusiastic. Now, I'm in this situation where I need to back-track and admit that my enthusiasm was a people-pleasing lie.

Very nice video. I absolutely agree. My parents raised me the same way. If you don´t obey... you are bad. If you brown-nose everyone... you are acceptable. I carried that emotional weight around for decades until I started realizing: I am ok the way I am. Manipulation is a very bad way to run this society. It starts with each one of us. We need to realize that we are ok the way we are. Love from Germany.

Seriously, Aaron you make me happy and I like you! Busting a gut and going to People Pleasing Anonymous! ✌🏼🤟🏽🙏🏾🖖🏼👽

I think this is the most powerful video of yours I've seen 🔥🔥🔥🔥🙌🏽🥳 As a healer, you are speaking STRAIGHT UP FACTS!

This video is synchronized with what I wont allow, just today. It's a good conformation for me! Thank you Aaron 🙏

Some people are gifted with a spirit of generosity. It can be taken advantage of though. Check your heart. If you give something and the receivers response isnt what you expected, I'd ask myself why I have expectations to begin with. Give without expectations and conditions.

You seem so much different from when I first started watching your videos like 4/5 months ago, in like the best way. Thanks for another amazing video!

Your teachings are very useful for my work. I learned to stop pleasing with my Bosses. And my feelings are free and my work became very easy. Because I don’t care what they are I’m just doing my work not because of the bosses but for my own development. Thank you Aaron

We appreciate your content

I hope The Lord blesses you extra and gives you so much joy that your “ not good enough” will be erased. Freedom!!!!! Yay!

Aaron, not too long ago, after a aha moment, I wrote in my journal "I gained very little being a good girl". I'm 40. We spend most of our lives seeking for approval and self love outside of us. No more. Love to you all

I had the "nice guy" syndrone really bad to the point one day my cousin (who I subconciously seeked approval from) told me " You are always trying to save the day."

I just wanna say your videos saved my life. Thanks 🙏🏼

Nice head band Aaron !! Namaste 🙏🏽

Foraged magic mushrooms today and was discussing this for ages with a close friend I rarely see but we’re similar in this way, and then this pops up when I get home and check KZfaq. Amazing

I dealt with similar things in my childhood your helping people I'm trying to heal

Thank you for your service and value.

This one Resignated with My whole day. I realized I need to clean out so I can know who I am with out being stoned or drunk. Or on something trying to escape my reality. Then the people pleasing showed me so much more That is keeping me from knowing me.

Omg! Why am i only seeing this video now?!?! Thank you!! 🙏🙏🙏🙏

I think there is really a balance. Dont nice things for people is great and giving to others. But not being a people pleaser! U completely give up your power when u please others and put yourself last. There is a fine line, a balance. Many of these character traits are directly from my childhood . It's very interesting !