Same!!

Hahah and then I realize the irony of my username. To be fair I made it when I was in high school, so technically I was a girl at the time.

Yeah, people who call women “girls” in the workplace... It just comes off as so unprofessional and diminishing. Someone came into the workplace a couple weeks ago and called me “love”, which isn’t even offensive necessarily but I straight up didn’t even register that he was talking to ME, I don’t know, it just felt so overly familiar. It felt almost undignified that I was expected to respond to someone addressing me that way.

@@J_Kwan Oh jesus - I totally get this. When did it become okay for managers and the like to use petnames in the office?? I've also had "sweetheart" gross

Ugh, seriously!! Right after I graduated college, my dad's boss told me it was, "time to put my big girl panties on and get a job," which was just vomit-inducing on so many levels.

This is such a good one! Thank you.

That's such a brilliant thing to ask instead of 'are you okay'! I have cried in jobs a few times, and the anxiety about being embarrassed and people seeing me cry are normally worse than what I'm crying about, and if someone asks if I'm okay then it makes me more emotional! I know people are being kind, and I really appreciate it, but the extra attention often makes me feel worse. Having someone distract me instead would be great!

Or... they could just be trying to get a conversation going. The standard way to do that is asking if someone is okay. I'm as liberal as they come but come on. A big portion of this video is "let me overanalyze common turns of phrases to find something insulting and "problematic" when a well-meaning person is trying to talk to me". Human conversation is usually not completely literal and straightforward, you need to read between the lines.

this is so helpful thank you for sharing

That's such a great way to respond, thank you for sharing!

My boyfriend's mum says this to me every single time I see her and it kills me

"You look pale. Are you feeling okay?" Dude, I'm just pale. I'm pale every single day. I've accepted the fact that I will forever look like a vampire. I understand it comes from a place of concern, but I don't need you reminding me I look like a vampire.

or the sentence "you look sad." yeah thanks, I hadn't noticed. also most of the time i just don't have the energy to put on a smile

I've been told to smile or "your face lights up when up smile" so much. I even remember teachers saying it to me when I was in primary school. Thanks middle aged man. I needed your input. His mum dies that too.

@@jasminehermione2998 I have been absolutely thrilled and people ask me if I'm okay and ask me to smile, so I guess I just always look depressed or something.

Oh my god this is genius, filing this away for future use!

💯

Clever enough not to have kids 👉👉

Me replying "cause I hate them" to people asking "why don't you want children" turns out to be a great way to shut people up too! Sure, it's an exaggeration, mostly I just don't know how to interact with them and there are loads of other equally important reasons I don't want kids, but that's the best for ending the conversation with someone you don't feel like talking about that with.

Holy shit, that is an excellent zinger!

looooool true

I feel attacked haha

True! Or "well I'm experiencing a lot of imposter syndrome and not gonna lie, this pandemic has taken all my motivation and I'm struggling to care about it even though it's what I know I want"

What are you studying?

Same. I really don't like generic questions. "How's studying?" "Yeah good" dead conversation. Ask me about things that are actually important not things I get asked hundreds of times by people.

Yeah, I like that. Kind of 'what fills your day, what fills your mind' kind of thing.

I was gonna say that I like the similar "What do you like to do?" but you basically summed up what I would have said

This is definately a better option, but doesn’t totally alleviate having to give a difficult answer (from someone who didn’t have the energy to get up from the couch for a few months, I didn’t do much of anything those days)

I started doing this at university by saying "so what do you do when you're not here?". Whether I met someone at a lecture or at work or a party, it allowed them to talk about whatever they're most interested/involved in outside of whatever were doing at the time.

@@LylaMoshi I worked at a hospital and I used to ask my patients that, usually after I'd had them once before, like "What did you usually do before you started hanging out here with me?" It was usually a fun way to segue into their hobbies, families, and jobs, but it's general enough that they could talk about whatever they wanted.

Not only that, but if someone isn't drinking because they're a recovering alcoholic, is that really something you can honestly expect them to share?

As someone who is sober due to mental health reasons I completely relate. The struggle is real 😫

Completely agree! As someone with addiction and trauma in their family history when I'm asked about that I just lie and say I don't like it.

I would also like to add that some people can't take alcohol with their medication that they need in order to live their normal lives. I personally don't mind sharing about my illness but not everyone is comfortable having their health issues brought up when its a night out for them

I just figured the best answer to this! Just say "Because I feel better without". Simple, yet effective because what could they possibly say to counteract that?! And better can mean physically, mentally, etc.

I like to say "it'll be in the history books" that way pressure is off everyone! Except for history book writers 😅

YES! That's a good one, I'm definitely nicking that one!

Don't be shocked when your history book mentions me

I love that!

I started saying "Ima tell this tale to my nieces and nephews", as a nagging but not serious reminder, that my best friends need to have kids FOR me^^ (it's honestly a joke and they know it, besides among the 12 of them my chances are quite good)

Oh my god! I finished my PhD last year and I hated those sorts of questions. Like, I don't know, I just want to finish the effing thing! Also, "when are you going to finish your thesis?" drove me up the wall.

I'd personally be more interested in asking about your research or what new thing you've learned than what you're going to do with the future. I find it boring when people talk about their future plans, which is probably not very nice of me, but I'm being honest. Anyway, what's your dissertation about?

Honestly this comment just really resonated with me. Not a PhD but writing a thesis and the only questions that follow from that bit of information about me are usually very future-oriented like 'when are you done' and 'what will you do after'. There is a whole life I'm living now as well and I think my thesis is on an interesting topic so I'd love it if people that I meet would actually ask me anything about that rather than asking the questions that I don't have an answer to. Anyways, good luck to all the academics in this comment thread, whatever the future has in store for us, it will come :)

Same!! I'm not even half way through my PhD and I get that so often. Like I'm too stressed about current problems to think that far in the future xD

As a teacher working in a district where over half of the kids are in foster care, or are in other living arrangements other than the nuclear-mom-and-dad, my go-to phrase is "your designated adults" It's quirky and gets the job done 👍

As a teacher (who works with young children, not teens), I ALWAYS say "your grown ups" because that covers everyone.

asking ‘did someone just fart?’ is really just a witch hunt. the only real anwer to the question is -whoever smelt it, dealt it

This is the kind of discourse we should be having, people!

Hahahaha I love this YES

Also as a teacher a fart can be very disturbing when you teach hormonal teenagers who get very distracted by farts (and other stuff which are - unfortunately - more exciting than my lesson). So I would love to ban the question.

Oh this made me laugh 😂

:) xxx

Aw I was hoping you were gunna say 'interesting ANSWERS'. Their loss, u gave them the opportunity of a life time!!!

I have since asked that at parties where I do actually know the people and it DID go well!!

Yeah that's so true, the whole job V career thing can be so loaded and complex. x

I don't even hate my job, but it's not interesting to talk about at all. Every day is pretty much the same, and I end up telling the same stories over and over again and I bore even myself during those conversations. I don't hate my job, but it's something I do to make money, and it's not really a part of my personality or anything, so let's just talk about something more interesting, honestly.

Well, you write so you're a writer. You don't have to be a published author to call yourself a writer. People are artists even if nobody ever sees their art, people are musicians even if they only ever play for themselves. You're doing great!

Perhaps respond, "Instead of telling you what I do, let me tell you something I really care about lately, and that is..." And then you go on to tell them whatever lights your fires that day.

Ah yeah that's rubbish - really sad that people think like that x

I'm in the US and this phrase is endemic. I'm sorry to hear it's not just here.

omg you're right - I could literally talk for hours about the fictional Irish Wolf Hound I will one day own and RIDE to town on the back of. I'll definitely bank this Q!

Love this apart from if someone has just lost a pet then it can become a little awkward. I could talk about animals and my pets all day long, but if you asked me just after we had to put my rabbit to sleep, I may have cried.

@@BookNomming I can relate to that... when my dog died I was heartbroken, but although it made me sad, I didn't mind talking about her. A few years later I love talking about her, I have so many funny stories! I think any and every question you could possibly ask has the potential to create an awkward situation, but that's normal when you don't know someone well. The trick is figuring out a way to turn the awkwardness around and keep the conversation fun.

then comes me talking about my dead mice and dead cat 😀👍

OMG YES exactly. It depends, what are you asking me for?

Answer, "No, but I'm reasonably priced. What did you have in mind?"

@@Marialla. amazing I love it

@@Marialla. 😂 love it!

As someone who tends towards extrovertion, I totally get what you're saying! It makes so little sense to ask someone if they're free without context because we (should) spend our time based on what we want to prioritise based on how we feel at the time and whatever else is going on. X

I also have a pretend child to two ladies who work in a crockery shop, for exactly the same reason!

God, out of all the people on this planet you'd expect your psychiatrist to be the person in your life who is actually understanding.... 🤦‍♀️ But I guess psychotherapists and psychiatrists are only people after all 😐

@@maurice8180 you'd hope right ? I recently had to switch psychiatrists bc my last guy tried to convert me to his religion to cure my depression (I'm a gay atheist nonbinary person who presents/was born female) and tell me that I needed to get a boyfriend so I could go to church with him and be happy 👁👄👁

@@doctorwholover1012 what! are you fckn kidding me? Ughh this actually makes me angry 🤦‍♀️ I stopped going to therapy a year ago bc I couldn't afford it at the time anymore and I'm thinking of going again, but when you hear stories like this... it makes me reconsider. It sounds like your psychiatrist really didn't know how to do their job😑 But what can you do in such a situation? Can you even file a complaint about smth like this?

@@maurice8180 oh yea I'm fine lol, filed a complaint, refused to see him again, and made clear statements with my new guy about where my fckin lines were 👀 I live between 5 churches n have since i was 6 (12+ yrs lol) and I've been out since i was 14 so I'm very much used to avoiding religious pressure lmao 😅 it's just like, yikes, ppl can't ever just leave shit alone. (Also the religious-conversion guy wasn't medicating me properly for one of my issues, which was fun, so my new guy is helping me adjust to ACTUAL meds that will achieve something, instead of meds for literal *children* - I'm 22)

Hello fellow Alex who uses they them

Ah yes, the four known genders: boy, girl, demi and lovato 😉

hello other Alex's who use they/them

that`s what I used to ask students (I used to work at an English conversation school in Japan), and they would answer `sleep` or `drink alcohol`. So I stopped asking :P. Another classic is `What did you do on the weekend?` the answer being `sleep` or ` I cleaned my room`.

@@momosaku16 I guess context is everything and cultural norms play a role! I was definitely thinking of peers rather than teacher/student relationships. I also like a variant of this q: 'when youre not (insert current activity: at a wedding/ walking in the countryside/ drinking coffee) how do you like to spend your time? In Diana's students' case I suspect the answer would still be alcohol/drugs but even that answer can lead to further conversation in British culture...what is it they enjoy about drinking is it company/escape overwhelm/ something else?

Bec Wilkinson of course

Oh, I love that! I read Fangirl but never got around to Carry On. Perhaps it's one to get around to! x

Amen!

This! you’ve known yourself for 2 and a half decades and they’ve known you for 2 and a half hours but somehow they think they’re more of an authority about what you ‘really’ want or ‘will’ want in the future than you are Also I feel like anyone’s decision to have children or not is just a super personal thing, and I think that it’s just something society in general needs to remove from the ‘casual conversation’ category

Yes ! I've had people literally threaten to force me into childbearing bc I've stated that I don't want kids (I've known I didn't want them since age 11, now 22) like it's none of your fckin business??? Nobody asked??? I'm not gonna marry you??? Go have the kids you want, and I'll go get a lizard, and we can both have a good time, god. 🙄

This reminded me also of the ‘you should smile’ comment that gets thrown around by men in workplaces

Obviously it’s going to be especially towards women because no one ever cares to ask about men let’s be honest

I was scrolling through the comments and had to respond to this one because it’s spot on. I have a male coworker who says this to me ALL THE TIME and it has started driving me crazy! I never know how to respond. He’ll also say “you look stressed.” I have a relatively low stress job and am usually completely confused by the comment. I have spent a little bit of time abroad working with people from different regions of the world. I find people from Scotland, Ireland and some regions of English tend to use “you alright?” as a greeting. This used to confuse me so much before I realized that it was just a routine greeting and had other to do with me not looking alright haha

Yesyesyes. "Are you ok?" Is just a more subtle way of saying "smile!"

@@alexd9279 I'll ask a man if he's ok if he looks upset, or sick. Not when he's just going about his day and doesn't happen to be smiling at that specific moment!

That seems a good plan - knowing that staying in and doing nothing is a plan is super important you’re right! It’s time well spent

That's a good idea! I'll have to try to remember this next time someone asks me if I'm free

I have an experience that is not the same but in the same ball park- and reading your comment made me feel not alone in it which is sad (i wish it wasn't something u have to go through) but calming for my spirit. I have a joint condition which can be ok for childbirth/pregnancy but also can go very wrong and you never know which one you get. I think from my experience with my pain/body it won't go well and I've always wanted to adopt anyway. Buy my mother is in denial and thinks its a 'phase' or I don't really understand what pregnancy is like- so she keeps rambling about how beautiful having your own children is. Which hurts because I've always wanted to be a parent- even if adoption was always going to be for me as well as a biological child in my precondition imaginings. My very long point is, you know your body and what you want from life. It's got fuck all to do with anyone else, they live with it for maybe an hour, you live with it forever. Women aren't just for making people-we have too many people, lets focus on loving and feeding the ones we have maybe. Anyways, I hope you are doing okay and have been able to act on what you feel is best for you- I say this cause that can be super hard sometimes, it's a hard enough process/decision to make without meddlers. I don't normal ramble on youtube comments but it's the first time I've heard of someone my age going through the no children/body struggles.

There are way too many male gynaecologists for this to not be strange. Not to ostracized any gender from a profession, but these stories sure do have a pattern..

I also want people to think about their reaction to this. I am a career nanny bc I love it and I can support myself. Folks often don't know how to react to this or are condescending

Usually I say "what have you been up to?"

Oh yeah that one is an accidental trap, you're right. Also, I'm always hungry so it's kind of a redundant Q!

I'm so sorry you've had to experience this 💔 I recently lost my mom in March and I'm learned how difficult it is to tell people. For me, the topic is usually brought up in the context of celebration."Your mom must be so proud you graduated in May" sucks to have to be the Debbie Downer or I just have to brush it off. :/ It's such a normalized thing to ask about parents but everyone's situation is different. Anywho I hope you're doing as well as anyone can be doing right now. Sending good thoughts your way. Thanks for reading 😊

I‘m sorry for both of your losses! It‘s always hard to lose someone, but losing a parent when you‘re still a kid is something that most people will never truly understand. I had to say goodbye to my mum when I was fourteen, now four and a half years ago. And I still never know how to respond to that question. I once had a nurse at my internship at the hospital ask me about my mum, but when I started stuttering, he immediately posed another question. Sadly not everyone is so attentive and empathetic... And it really is hard when meeting new people, especially when they are your age. I started uni last year and I had some pretty uncomfortable conversations. One girl kept asking me about my parents and I always answered with „my dad...“, but she still hasn‘t got the message. I don’t want to tell her though. Another time I did tell a new friend, after she asked me what my mum worked as. She immediately started apologising and repeatedly said she was sorry and didn’t know. And suddenly I felt like I had to comfort her about the fact that my mum had passed away. I felt shaken and sad myself, but still had to say „it’s alright, you‘re fine, of course you didn’t know“. Like, it‘s my grief, why do I have to comfort you?! I usually only ask about family members after a person has brought them up themselves. You can still end up asking an uncomfortable question, but you are much safer, because you basically got a green light that you can talk about them.

thank you!

+

I always thought the change from global warming to climate change was to “soften” the language to accommodate people who did not believe the evidence about global warming, or who didn’t believe in its consequences! I remember being told when I wrote a college paper that the term “global warming” was too controversial and I should use “climate change” instead. Now I’m annoyed that we (people who care about global warming) have to change the term AGAIN to make it more scary!

agree!

The difference I guess is that if someone asks what I'm passionate about I can talk about books or films or hobbies and it can be as personal as I like, whereas what do you do is currently always going to have the awkward response of "I'm unemployed"

I think a less loaded question would be "what do you like to do in your spare time" or "what have you been uo to recently". But I also feel like eventually, it's impossible to navigate every conversation without ever accidentally hitting on a personal subject. Maybe someone's going through a depressive episode and they feel ashamed having to share that they haven't been doing anything interesting, or they're so busy they don't have any time to spare on personal hobbies. You just have to kind of navigate to see what topics a person gets excited about and what topics are off-limits.

I usually say “what have you been up to recently?” And then people usually talk about a recent vacation, or a new hobby, or moving homes, etc. It opens a conversation without implying a job (but, some people do talk about their work if it excites them)

How do you spend your time?

Or "..in your free time?"

I've seen this done too, my boyfriend lost his mum in quite tragic circumstances when he was younger, and people we worked with would always casually mention it 'oh have you met his parents yet, is his mum nice' and the worst was once at Christmas when he said he didn't like photos being taken of him, and a colleague piped up that 'I bet your mum has loads of embarrassing ones from when you were younger', and he just laughed along bc he never told anyone about it and he didn't want to explain and make them feel guilty about it. It was like 3 years ago and it still breaks my heart 😭

I'm getting second-hand embarrassment goosebumps just reading that, I've done something really similar and the memory still revisits me at random moments and I want to crack my own head open every time. x

+

As a sex repulsed asexual aromatic who is severely stressed out by children and doesn't feel like I am mentally well enough to even take care of myself properly, this is a regular conversation I have: Person: When you have kids, _________. Me: Oh, I don't want kids. P: Why not? Kids are great because ___________. M: I don't like kids. They give me serious anxiety. P: Kids can be stressful, but ________. You'll change your mind. M: No. I don't want kids. P: Well, what if you have one on accident? Protection isn't 100%, you know. M: I won't, because I don't want to do that kind of stuff. P: Oh, you're young. You'll change your mind. [Unwanted story about their views on sex when they were younger and bs advice about sex.] M: i don't want to have sex, and I won't change my mind. P: Well, your husband will expect sex from you, and you need to have sex for a healthy marriage. M: I don't want to get married. P: One day you'll fine the right person, and he'll sweep you off your feet. M: I don't want to. I don't want to date, I don't want to get married, I don't want to have sex, and I don't want to have kids. P: You'll die sad and alone. M: I'm not lonely. I have plenty of friends and family who are there for me and will stay by my side. P: Well, have you ever considered adoption? Me: I. Don't. Want. Kids. I cannot tell you the ridiculous amount of times I've had this exact conversation, and I swear I am going to scream if I have to have it one more fricking time.

I don't assume people are being malicious or pushy when they infer I have or should have children. They have no rights to know my birthing status, and probably no real curiosity either. They're just trying to connect over common experiences or values. So maybe answer "Well, if I ever have kids I'm sure I'd want to do ____ with/for them because kids raised without ____ seem really sad, you know what I mean?" And then go on to talk about whether or not you had ____ in your own childhood or theirs, or other philosophical topics of parenting which may or may not apply to either of you.

@@Marialla. The problem is when you say you don't want kids and they continue to push you to have kids. It also tends to stem from aphobia (like homophobia for asexuals and aromatics) when it comes to people who I have told I'm not interested I'm not going to go into all the aphobic bs people say right now, but it's bad. There's also usually a bit of homophobia, transphobia, and sexism sprinkled in.

@@lolymop333 Again, I normally would not reveal that I don't want kids because that is personal information they have no right to. Yes, they are wrong for pushing. I don't give them the information to push from. So instead of saying I don't want kids I just talk about hypotheticals. Who are these people who think they have a right to your reproductive choices anyway? If these people are your parents and they actually DO think they have a right to your bloodline, that is a whole other fight. Most people aren't in it to fight though. They just want their own parenting choices to be validated.

How about owning a house as a creative collective? Ive thought about something like that since im unsure wether or not i can own one.

How about if someone just doesn't wish to own? I've expressed that feeling before, only to be perceived as an utter abomination. On that same note, ever just expressing any lige aspiration outside of the good ol' "i want to go to college, get a degree, meet someone, get married, buy a house, have children, die old w spouse" is always received with alight disdain

Yes! Every time someone asks “so do you want kids/when are you having kids?” I’m like “why is this person interested in me and my partner having unprotected sex????” Especially if parents/in-laws are asking.

YESS! I find it so belittling when random people (or family members) reduce your whole existence to marriage and kids. They dictate you the "rules" as if there's only one PROPER way to get married. As if everyone aspires to get married in a traditional old fashioned way. Same for children. "You should find someone by this age, get married by this time and pop as many children before your 30s" "the clock is ticking, better not wait". They don't care or won't listen about how the things they did wouldn't work for everyone.

Pat Malia completely, and you’re just left cringing at what an outdated view of marriage (modern relationships, the world...) they have

@@BooksUnstitched Totally! And the worst is that they criticize your views of the world and critize you (in my experience anyways. I've had people tell me to my face how inadequate I am to act/ think/ talk/ look the way I do and that I needed to change just for a man that I haven't met and a kid I'll never have. Basically, they push their world view on you, insult you and then, expect you to adopt how they think 🤦‍♀️

Yes! Don’t assume I want to get married when you know zero things about me...or even if you know several things about me. Don’t do that.

Yep. I'm a nanny and childfree. People always assume I am going to have kids. Nope.

This is something I also wonder, as a British person. Referring to a British black person as African American feels ridiculous, but equally African British doesn't sound right.

Rebekah MacLean Brown why not say black? If it’s even relevant at all lol

It's this even a thing? I've literally never heard anyone do this?

Lmaooo

@@TheDoctorsMissus i know I'm late to the convo but my little sister literally learned this in school (in germany) from a white teacher in English class. They were saying that "Black" was offensive and using African-American as the only acceptable descriptor as though there weren't Black people in germany??? Or anywhere else?

'but where are you really from?' is always a fun follow up to that question

@@forenamesurname4735 i used to always get that followed by having to explain im half this half that but I dont speak that language.... why cant I just say I am from England why isn't that sufficient....

As someone who has lived in three different countries for almost equal times I second this. It's the most dreaded question I ever get asked- do I tell my whole life story? Do I just pick a random country ? How do I explain my accent if I pick a random country of the three ? Aghr. Then the dreaded 'but where is home?' I live here ? Sorry for the rant, just nice to hear others hate that question too (although yours is a more valid reason. the 'but where are you really from' when asked to my not white friends fucks me off to no end, especially when I'm the actual foreigner unlike my friends 🙂 broken world.)

haha I can so clearly hear the identical sentences in different tones, it's almost comic. You're so right.

Haha yes, especially because this eventually gets colloquially shortened to just: "Alright?" "Yeah, alright." Pretty soulless.

I get why that looks like a problem, but the phrase, 'are you alright?' or 'alright?' is usually how we just greet people in the street, even if we don't know them. It sounds odd to other people I guess, but if we want to know how someone's doing we usually ask something like, how are you, or how have you been keeping, etc

I’ve started being very honest with people when they ask me how I am, and it always shocks them. But usually leads to them opening up too, which is lovely!

Omg I’m Hope R too

Sorry I also very much agree with your comment just got excited when I saw your name hahah

Hope Robinson that’s such a funny coincidence haha

I like that!

Aw thank you - me and the fringe are definitely growing into each other, it's a process. Serial likers always welcome

​@@leenanorms Ahh! So chuffed you replied! I hope you and fringe have a happy and loving friendship! Thank YOU for putting out thought-provoking, hilarious and downright excellent content - the world is a better place for it! x

Yes yes yes! I hate the weird hanging "Hi" I sometimes get from someone with nothing else attached. I just know they want something and am baffled why they don't just ask before waiting for a response first

agreed! I tend to write the entire thing in one message rather than catching their attention first so they can address it on their own time if they even want to.

OH MY GOSH YES. That is so fricking annoying. Then they proceeded to judge you, lecture you, and give you pointless "life advice". It's SO annoying.

I try to be forgiving to the poor mannerless schmuck who asks this question, recognizing they aren't trying to be a prying prodnose, but are just seeking to find points of potential interest in your life that you would want to discuss. Utterly ignore the slant that they have any right to knowledge about your work or school if you don't care to share, and instead say "Lately I've really begun to care about this whole issue about the _____ which I just heard about on the news, and I'm wondering what I should do about it. Have you got any opinions?" That'll get them going.

I switched to 'are you available' a while back, bc to someone, a self care evening might not be something they're willing to discuss, but when you phrase it as available or not, people are much less likely to pry as it sounds more set in stone and 'oh I can't get out of this' than just 'oh I'm not free'. Also, I stopped explaining what a thing was too, sometimes it would be 'sorry I have a doctors appointment' and they'd totally get it, but then when it came to admitting that I just needed an evening to recharge to myself and get some rest etc (that I knew they wouldn't accept so easily) , I felt compelled to lie to keep a continuity with always giving the reason, so I just don't now regardless of what it is I'm doing

Underrated comment 😭

Yeah, especially love the looking forward to one, that's always positive and also tells you a lot about the person, depending on what they're looking forward to.

No, thank YOU for stopping by x