"Your success might not look successful to the people around you but it will feel successful to you internally." wow, that is one way to look at life. Amazing.

“Our authentic life choices won’t always be easy, but they will always be worth it because it helps us live with integrity.” What a powerful statement.

I live in a cabin in the the woods offgrid. Time has slowed down. Definitely downstream. I feel successful. I'm sure people can't see that. I'm healthy. I'm happy. I'm free. That's success to me.

If you want to get something done, you often don't have to push harder. Take a step back and do something else. Then look at it with fresh eyes and it suddenly works. At least that's my experience.

She was my professor in grad school and I was blessed to work under her guidance. The way she mentored us was amazing and tbh changed my life in a positive way.

Basically, don't stop working hard, but direct your efforts to the flow of things. That way, you will be propelled towards success with the inertia of what's already working for you.

So, in a word, we don't feel our efforts as efforts only if we're doing something personally meaningful.

This came at a good time. I’ve burnt out twice in 2022, and I don’t ever wanna do that again. A week of headaches and difficulty experiencing joy and getting rid of anxiety.

Don’t work so hard for things that doesn’t matter to you

She basically summarized whole year of therapy sessions in 16:31 minutes. What a brilliant character. Thanks for sharing!

Key take away: Define what is your true success work for it. Don't go by the society. And this true success does keep changing with time so be conscious of it and adapt.

In short, develop your spiritual quotient. Live the way you want to live....like a child. Most of the times, our efforts are propelled by our desire to achieve what others have achieved. This phenomenon starts in adolescence when our awareness ignites and continues till we suffer severe damages both mental and physical. And by then we have no courage, energy and will power to make the necessary changes. God Bless

I'm quite old now, but will attest to the priciples of this philosophy. When I worked I only 6 hours a day for 4+ days a week. How was this, I didn't waste time driving in grid-lock traffic so I would arrive about 10am, when in the office I would leave about 4pm. However, I worked like a whirlwind for those 6 hours, nothing got in my way, not Lunch or anything. In that time I set my appointments for the week and rarely went to the office until Friday. I generally earnt 2 to 3 times the average, I disposed of my mortgage thirty years ago, I love paying all my bills when or before they're due, so I have zero debt, money in the bank, and really don't give a darn about material things. It's all in the attitude. Do what you have to do, be effective, then spend real time with your loved ones, go out sailing or whatever. Gain Contentment.

This is actually one of the best TED Talks, in my opinion.

"Flow State". .... trying without trying is the essence of TAOISM

If you love it, hard is not hard. It's easy

Authenticity is important I think it means living like a king even when you're poor.

I have a huge problem with the "upstream effort". I tend to care too much, work too much and expect too much from myself. I literally got quite hill a couple years ago, and I'll have sequels for the rest of my life. I have "fixed" a lot of psychological problems I've had by studying the right stuff, meditation, self awareness and a healthy lifestyle. Now I'm addressing this. Life Never should feel like a burden. For several reasons I never fully explored what comes easy to me. But it's never too late. If your life feels like a burden, pause. There is something to consider and the moment is now.

Upstream effort. Downstream effort. Find what you authentically want, how you want to feel, and what you value. Act on those values and feelings in the real world. Use discernment to evaluate the results of our decisions. Are you experiencing flow? Is synchronicity occurring in your life? Stop trying at things that don't matter to you and start trying at things that do. Wuwei. Great guidance! Thank you.

Nothing wrong with quitting Harvard and living in the woods for 2 months then moving to Europe. She was exhibiting classic signs of burnout and that's how she dealt with it. I'm happy she found a new path. No one ever got burned out doing something they absolutely loved.

"Looking at the comments after the talk won't help you" - Lao Tzu

Yes, wearing our busyness as a badge of honor while it burns us out and we lack joy & fulfillment in life.

Flow and sychronicity are very zen topics. Achieving flow is as easy as not thinking before acting. Hovering a helicopter, landing a plane, applying the brakes on a car to avoid an accident, shooting a bow. All good examples of zen, of flow. You both act and decide to act at the exact same moment. This was a beautiful talk.

It is cute that looking back she’s thinking I wish I’d enjoyed the journey better. The truth is she wouldn’t have got where she is if she’d taken it slow and was super chill.

The last 30 sec are the conclusion of the whole speech.

Your internal well-being is more important than any external success

I have started to live a downstream life for a while, and then I watched this video.... everything she said is so relatable to me.

Hello! I'm from Azerbaijan. I wish you all good and well-being. I started learning English. I really want to go to college in Canada. Therefore, I watch these roles, although now I can say I don’t understand anything, but I continue to watch and study in parallel. So I decided to share. Thanks a lot! Peace to your home!

The downstream and upstream effort can be decomposed into two questions: 1. How bad do you want it? 2. How much effort do you have to/are you willing to pay to achieve it? If both answers turn out negative, then you may be paying upstream effort and need to find what you want the most first. Those who are struggling for their goal are not discouraged by the speaker from my perspective. At least you have another option: try to live happy with your current situation. I myself am poor and hopeless in the sense of future success. But I’m happy with a lowered need and more focus on my health and soul. This speech synchronise with what I think really 👍👏👏

Billionaires often say "Money doesn't matter" Models say "Appearance doesn't matter" Geniuses often say "Grade doesn't matter" People tend to underestimate things they have and value things they don't. Anyway, she chose fame and approval over well-being and health. If she wasn't academically successful, I wonder if she could still think the same way. P.S. No offense. I just want to express my thought. Her speech is still amazing in many ways :)

It is beautiful way to say "do what you love and you won't have to try so hard because it will be easy" :) I agree!

In every TED video some people comment- This is the best TED video.

"Our authentic life choices, they won't always be easy, but they'll always be worth it because they help us live with integrity" So true, so true, so true.

I worked at a job that I really liked, but it was also a lot of hard work that drained me after a few years. I made the mistake of staying at that job, which brought me more rewards, but at the expense of completely exhausting myself.

I am just trying to apply what I learned from this video to my current difficult situation. Before I got into nursing school, I used to love reading health articles,books, watch health videos, and work out. Now I see it very difficult to study nursing and it's very boring. Teachers are rude and arrogant, this made my learning experience very difficult. About 60% of what we learn in Nursing doesn't apply in the real world. Now I stopped working out as a result of the stress nursing education has caused me. I feel like I am trying hard definitely in the upstream direction. My values didn't change. I still enjoy to read about health however my goal has changed as I don't want to study nursing anymore. Success to me right now is to be debt free from all the loans I took for university education. I don't care about being rich.I don't care about achieving anything. I believe the real achievement anyone can reach is to free themselves from enslavement. We live in a time where people can't find jobs easily, and if they ever find a job they have to enslave themselves to the job, work long hours, and probably hold two jobs just to pay off bills. I just want to be debt free, and I want to be free from enslavement. Likely I have to enslave myself to a work that I don't like just to pay off my school loans, and this is why I feel forced to continue working upstream to graduate and get a nursing job that pays well just to pay off my school loans. Otherwise I wish I can quit nursing right now and get any job even if it pays less than a nursing job. Going downstream right now is not an option, easy to say than done.

Amen to that! I've been doing a lot of upstream effort my whole life with all the "shoulds" and "have-tos" . Even after you achieve what you've achieved it leaves you wanting. However I would argue that people are often not in the position for lots of reasons to chose to do what they want to do in life.

This is so great, I am proud to say that i've been living a downstream life and it feels very successful and i am excited for whatever comes next in my life

‘“ Authentic life choices will never be easy, but they will always let us live with integrity “❤️

Bottom line plunge into my heart. "Your Authenticity are more important than any job, any promotion, any salary, any degree or frankly, anyone else's opinion of you." Need to think what is my Authenticity during my daily life. Surely, It doesn't mean that we don't need to take effort on daily life to wander seeking the other way. If the authenticity is still hard to find even though we keep thinking of it, we better to just accept the task in the front of us and try to find the better way to do it. Then the door might be opened for us in unexpected way. I have learned that all human lives are matter of time.

It's not necessary doing less, but expending less effort while doing what you love.

Authenticity is key.

We all tried hard in life, from schools, works, to relationships. Don't work hard for the thing that doesn’t matter to us.

"Your success might not look successful to the people around you, but it will feel successful to you internally." That's it!

What I am getting out of this is whatever you are wanting to achieve, be clear on the WHY. Because after you achieve it, the WHY might still not be answered. Hence you feel like you were too busy for nothing. If it is your passion and answers your WHY, then it is not really doing too much. Plus live your WHY, not anyone else's WHY.

As a person who recently started re-assessing what is really important to me and discovering the deep wisdom of Daoism and the wonderful concept of Wu Wei bei Lao Tzu, you talk really felt like something I needed to hear. Thank you.

"I was addicted to achieving success." *Gives a TEDx talk*

I love the way she speaks! So calm, like a flow. Very nice to listen. Totally agree with her ideas!

I quit my management job to go back to school and pursue the science industry to relocate to Germany. I have money investment that is driven by my self worth. Everyone told me, every step of the way, that I was making a mistake. Im pretty decent in the German language, my investments are doing great, I'm presenting at national confrences. Things just kind of fell in place and studying took a priority. This is the necessary upstream! There is a lot of light to this talk.

Money is still an issue though because sometimes you HAVE TO WORK, even if it feels like constant UPSTREAM, in order to pay the bills.

Love this idea of personal reflection when facing obstacles

Valuable speech ! As an example, I was doing my PhD in Nanotechnology (after spending 12 years of university life) when I realized that what I was doing in life was not aligned with my values at all 😱I was at the age of 33 then.. After lots of struggles especially psychologically I quit everything that I had worked for and started a new life from zero. I became both a musician and a healer which both allowed me to go with my own flow of spiritual journey 😊 I feel much more connected to my higher self and I am at peace 🙏

I needed this reminder today.

I think to sum it up.. live not for others happiness but for your own definition of hapiness... In a generation of social media were evryone is motivated to do things so hard to gain attention or confirmation from other people, we forgot the things that really makes us happy and fullfilled.. also with this era were religion is now just a subject course everyone forgot the essence of it.. having a religion brings peace in our mind, heart and soul. So stop doing all the things that you think will make u happy, take it slow, pray and love 😊

This video is sooooo on time! I couldn't agree and appreciate more! Spectacular insight on the whole matter.

By the grace of God I have decided authentic success for me is good health and finding God

Probly the best tedx talk I have heard !!!

Probably the most personally impactful-to-me TED Talk, I've ever listened to. And she was so calm and composed too.

Thank you very much! Now I finally found my compass so that I wouldn't be exhausted and sacrifices my health, which would risk my family to lost me and make them sad. I will remind my self on the real and authentic values while I working harder.

This resonates with the metaphysics conception of feeling the flow of life. The life is the path, not a destination!

Her last moment smile is a sign of gratified addiction

Great speech. That's why I love the quote by Steve Jobs: "Focus what matters". Achievement is also a never ending process, one achieved another new will born.

Brilliant. I don't know how many people were present at this talk, but had I been among them that applause would have sounded thunderous.

Pursuing dreams sounds great, but there are family responsibilities such as providing financial stability. There is no easy way out.

Awesome way of putting things into perspective. Heard similar ideas, but this was one of the most clearest and concise. Enjoyed and thank you !

Bethany!! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

It’s amazing getting into the “flow”, it happens in software development where all of the sudden everything clicks and you can hyper-focus unburdened by anything else around you.

basically she's suggesting we stay mentally strong and do not care about what other people think of us, in order to find bespoke success, but as a member of society, it is nearly impossible to be uninfluenced by social conventions which are designed to transform you to a pleasant contributor, unless you have achieved huge secular success, then there's a paradox. e.g. there are social/family responsibilities, so you have to do the job that earns bread instead of a personal enjoyment etc.

Great talk.But having money gives options and comforts in life whatever that means to you.High achieving people who are well paid are the first ones to say money isn't important because they have it. Most importantly good health and healthy lifestyle is paramount to live a great life 😊

Anyone who struggles to make decisions should watch this !!! Life changing !!

Fantastic video. . I am very pleased that I found this. Clarity......

this makes enough sense as one approaches 40yrs

Whoa, this is wise beyond. This succinctly hits so many of the pieces I've been struggling with. Thank you.

I was wrong. I think this talk offers some thoughts and concepts that can actually be helpful.

I’m searching for these kind of anxiety attack.... finally I found one that could match.... I found myself so so ..... so .... many times that overachieve and burn out and them overloading work over and over again..... Recently I had a severe anxiety headache that make me can not even think a little.... now I hope I could do this... work less less

Thank you! This is what has been happening to me for the last few years, and I knew it was right. No one could understand, and I couldn't put it into words. I shared this with my family to finally help them "get it".

This is the revelation that everyone should discover. This is immense and sooo useful. Thank you.

Thank you for spreading this knowledge. I'm enlightened.

I'm a total overachiever and upstream effort worker and this resonates with me. Although, I have to say I'm not as much of an achiever so as to have gotten a job at Harvard Medical School. As a nurse, I am finding the work to be lots of effort on many levels, spiritual, emotional, physical, mental, sociological, and I have not gotten anywhere. For the past year and a half, since earning my Masters, I've been working on a fiction novel and working part time. So I understand the downstream effort, where I go for a hike, sit down, write the scene and am free, authentic, feel good and have psychological flow. Even if I self-publish my novel on Amazon, nobody ever buys it, maybe some people read it for free, and I continue to write novels until it isn't important to me anymore, that would be more successful to me than when I go into work as a nurse and make a lot of money even working part time but it leaves me stressed. So I have let go of working full time and have my writing part time so it is a good balance. But my children are grown and out of the house so it is just me and my student loans. I get it how people think she sounds kind of like a spoiled brat but she does have some good points and she doesn't dismiss that people need to provide for themselves.

Thank you for the talk. It's meaningful for me, who tried to achieve something but not feeling happy on the way towards it

Her TedX talk is a practical guide to manage professional and personal life,a very feasible strategy to manage stress,to slow down during reach goal,when we realize enjoying journey is equally important as enjoying success.Overall a great lecture to relax mind and lead a healthier life,both professional life and personal life😍😍👍👍👍

Thank you so much. I need to listen to this everyday.

Thank you so much. You speak to my heart. I'm working things out. I'm not giving up on myself.

Bethany, thank you so much for doing this TEDx talk, it really helped me understand myself, what I have been going through for so many years (similar to you). Thank you for the lengthy explanation/discussion. More power to you.

Bethany thank you for the inspiring speech. It came to my life in the best timing. 😊🙌

This is the most meaningful and valuable talk I've ever watched. Thanks.

wow. it was inspiring for a 19 year old me. all this time I've been doing an upstream effort of being a straight A student and didn't know that it doesn't really matter for me. I'm too pressured by external motivations and it doesn't really feels like me. i'm really just a go with the flow person and that's it, i dont have to push my self too hard

Identify what we value in life Identify how we want to feel every day (focus on process and remind yourself of your dreams in face of obstacles)

Maravilhosa!!!! ❤️ Amei!

I am so happy to see that the speaker in this video quotes one of the TAO's saying. I took the words of "down stream effort" as going along the law of the universe. I am a Taoist.

Thanks. In the journey of life walking or jogging works well running after something often doesn't work and is quite depressing. Slow and steady WINS the race was very old saying we followed but is not procrastinating at all. Thanks again.

I used to work 7 days in the academe. I was doing my dream job but it was not me. I was not authentic as a leader because I what independence. I easily gave up my positions to find a life and myself again. I never regret it.

her voice is so sweet

Absolutely loved this video. I practice inspired action everyday. Thank you so much for this valuable information Bethany. GOD bless you:)

I'm watching this video again after a few months, what an impact. Thank you :)

Thank you for sharing!! Brilliant insight 😊

im a final year medical student going through exams which will last for another 3 months, burnt out ,i can relate to your speech in so many ways, just leaving this comment here so one day i'll remember that i got through it , not sure if i can change direction and chase my authentic goal like you did

Bethany, well done! This is a project I am still working on. I have suffered a lot of harsh conditions because of my decision to study biochemistry, but I have no regrets because the said decision was a true and authentic decision for me, even if everyone else thinks otherwise.

This is exactly what I am going through. Thank you very much!

That’s what I need to hear . Been feeling lost for a while. I have tried so hard in my degree study while taking care of my children, and looking for internship job at the same time. Yes, I need to stop and reflect, start to pay more attention to my inner voice. Finding the direction first.

This speaks to me way too much!