Strategic Contact VS No Contact Rule
Рет қаралды 123,064
Күн бұрынIn this video, Coach Lee explains Strategic Contact versus No Contact and how using it is the smart way to use the No Contact Rule if you have children with your ex or separated spouse, work with your ex, go to school with them, or have to see them on a regular basis, it is likely that stopping all communication with them is not possible and ignoring them while having to be around them is not smart contact.
Coach Lee explains how you can still gain the attraction benefits of the no contact rule by being smart about contact with your spouse or ex. Intelligent communication is the way to go meaning that you interact with them in ways that build attraction rather that to further push then away and most people don’t understand attraction dynamics enough to be able to do that.
This video is especially important if you have children with your spouse or ex but know you need to use the no contact rule after a separation or breakup but want to be smart about its implementation in order to give yourself the best chance to reunite with them.
There are forms of contact that can build back your bond and they are most likely to come up in marriage relationships or unmarried couples who live together with children. If the one you love has officially broken up with you or, if you are married and your spouse as stated that they want a divorce or to separate, this video will supply a great deal of practical help for your situation.
Get more information on Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit at myexbackcoach.com/emergency-b...
Get more information on Coach Lee's Emergency Marriage Kit at myexbackcoach.com/emergency-m...
VIDEOS mentioned in this one:
Stages Your Ex Goes Through During No Contact: • Stages Ex Goes Through...
What Is Your Ex Thinking During No Contact? • What Your Ex Is Thinki...
If you benefited from this video, you can leave Coach Lee a tip at myexbackcoach.com/tip-jar/
SUBSCRIBE to Coach Lee's channel so that you can be notified when he has more videos on relationship dynamics, mindfulness, marriage, and breakups by clicking this link: kzfaq.info?ap...
@alex_6911 6 ай бұрын
No contact is a win win situation in every aspect... Immediately after the breakup, it gives you a sense of hope in order to keep your mind in place and make the grieving process easier, and when you eventually find out, if they would come back or not, you would have healed considerably by that time, to the point of questioning if you really want them back. So you don't care either way and you are happy with yourself. If they come back, then maybe appreciate it and give it a try how it plays out, if not you would be 101% assured that this person never really deserved that much to be in your life in the first place. Either way, you have already overcome that person, and also walked away with decency. Keep it together people!!
@CollectivelyEzra 4 жыл бұрын
If they don’t want to be in your life, just let them go. You deserve someone who actually cares enough to be in your life
@vdubmansmith86 4 жыл бұрын
Facts
@lilianamarques8242 3 жыл бұрын
that's how my stbx felt for 2 years. that's why he left. not because he gave up but because he didn't feel loved. I won't give up on him because I was just as lost as he was.
@esdrasmanrique6457 Жыл бұрын
What if I messed up
@esdrasmanrique6457 Жыл бұрын
@@lilianamarques8242 update?
@alisonb5921 Жыл бұрын
Me & him, were just friends, (neighbours). He went no contact, February, last year. We had sporadic contact, through the last year. It was the cruel way he treated me after he went no contact. I got harassed, my cats were hosed, if they went in his yard & other harassment. He moved out, late last year. I have seen him driving around town with a young child in his car. I think the child is hers? I'm happy, single & childfree. I never wanted kids. I'm glad he left & moved on. I'm still ignoring him & I cut a friend out of my life, who still talked to my ex neighbour. I won't tolerate disloyalty from friends. No contact, works !!
@callmepistol 4 жыл бұрын
Coach Lee, I followed your advice on no contact but took it to the next level. I hide in a doomsday bunker and went radio silent. Didn't go to work, didn't contact my parents, friends, not a soul... Next thing I know after a few days to a week. I'm getting messages and calls from pretty much anyone I ever knew asking if I'm ok and that they are worried about me. But I stayed strong and didn't respond. Next thing I know they got the whole damn town out looking for me, cops , search dog, the whole 9 yards. Anyway It was at this point that my ex gf contacted me. She started sending me delirious texts telling me how much she was worried about me fearing the worst. that she loved me, and that she wished we could be together again. Anyway long story short. I'm back with my ex after she thought she had lost for permanently. gave her a little taste of life without me. No contact really does work. Listen to this guy folks he knows what hes talking about.
@vdubmansmith86 4 жыл бұрын
You did the right thing in this situation. What that let you know is that she genuinely care about you. You put her to the test to see if she cared and she passed good for you sir.
@RealCoachLee 4 жыл бұрын
LOL
@zepperfox7669 4 жыл бұрын
Lmao😂 bro even the cops supported your no contact
@FueledByKass 4 жыл бұрын
LMAO!
@rushikeshpatil1157 4 жыл бұрын
@@zepperfox7669 😂😂😂
@joshichauhan040 4 жыл бұрын
I must say coach Lee deserves to have Billions of subscribers.. I swear to God❤️
@christinewatson1989 4 жыл бұрын
He's the only relationship/breakup coach on youtube who isn't taking advantage of people who are in a vulnerable emotional state and trying to get them to buy some bogus book or program. The emergency breakup kit is fantastic (I bought it) but the information he just gives away for FREE here on youtube is they type of stuff you'd have to pay other breakup coached hundreds to get.
@Marianna7117 4 жыл бұрын
@@christinewatson1989 He is amazing! I only wished he went back to consultation, when you can write to him with your own situation and questions!
@jaynefernandez483 4 жыл бұрын
Joshi Chauhan I totally agree
@christinewatson1989 4 жыл бұрын
@@Marianna7117 Me too! I'd love to spend that stimulus check on a coaching call.
@TW-mb4mu 3 жыл бұрын
I see you and agree with you. He is doing truly the work of God!
@ricasso777 4 жыл бұрын
I’m 6 months in NO contact & I still miss her . The pain has eased with time but I do have days when I feel like breaking nc, but then remind myself how far I’ve came .
@vdubmansmith86 4 жыл бұрын
Luciano Mercado have you heard anything from her? If not I would remain in no contact and began seeking someone else. Sometimes women will break up with you and give you no closure so why should you. If I were you I would forward with life and seek another woman.
@ricasso777 4 жыл бұрын
vdubman Smith no I haven’t heard anything from her . I have been staying busy focusing on myself and my career , been dating other women the past couple months but it just doesn’t feel the same .
@juliemanso4589 4 жыл бұрын
Lucinda Bunafield that’s a scam ! Don’t take advantage of people in a time like this!
@vdubmansmith86 4 жыл бұрын
@@ricasso777 you are doing the right thing for yourself by slowly moving forward with other women. Continue the no contact for little bit longer but if you dont start hearing from her it may be time to continue to move forward. It just depend on how bad the breakup was whether it ended on good or bad terms. Was you the cause or was it her having a change of heart. Either way just hope she reach out some day and if she does play it cool and have a regular conversation with her without bringing up the breakup.
@ricasso777 4 жыл бұрын
vdubman Smith long story short she moved away from work , gave me false hope of a long distance relationship 1 month into her moving she slowly started to ghost me , texts and communication wasn’t the same and her excuse was she was too consumed with her new position & didn’t have time to balance work & a long distance relationship . But before she moved the last time we were face to face she was balling her eyes out . Which why at first I was confused by her behavior and demeanor soon as she moved . She went cold and distant
@ewoski 4 жыл бұрын
When you’re in the middle of a break up, all this advice goes in one ear and out the other.
@ATXMEX78 4 жыл бұрын
It's like that bro after a while I'll just rewatch them and yeah it's like the first time listening.. but it gets better bro Also look up Dating Guy, The Love Chat and Corey Wayne.. even Alpha Male Strategies Look up hypergamy and it will make sense stay strong bro it's a Marathon not a Sprint Work on yourself and it gets better! I know she may have left an imprint on you and seems irreplaceable but she is that's why there's so many out there for us.. I still compare other women to my ex and they can't she was amazing but atleast I had my turn with her it's hard sometimes but I get through Oh an meditation helps alot bro!
@rushikeshpatil1157 4 жыл бұрын
@@ATXMEX78 you just named every fuckin thing that I have been doing to stay stronger.
@rachaeladeline 4 жыл бұрын
I have been watching these and even rewatching these for the past week to really engrain it in. It can happen, lol😂 becoming a better person is hard, but it's worth it! It really makes you feel like you have more dignity in yourself.
@michaelfuller8304 2 жыл бұрын
I disagree man. These vids keep me strong. I tried to reach her over and over but didn’t get anywhere. No contact is what I learned from these vids. They keep me strong, helped me to compose myself and pick up my self respect. I’m now working on myself and learning to be a better version of me so if she comes back then I’m stronger or if I meet someone else then I’ll be better having learned from my mistakes
@XxJustinxx88 2 жыл бұрын
Man thank you for the laugh! Seriously! I haven't laughed In days but I read your comment and literally laughed my ass off waiting to clock In at work. It's so simple but true!
@mirelle_guthier 4 жыл бұрын
Coach Lee ,you just made my Day,thank you so much for all your advice,is so wert full.Want you to know there is lots of coach it out there,but sense I find your coaching,I made my choice,for me what you say counts for me,because it makes so much sense.Not only does your Voice sounding very soothing,you talk really from true Life,that makes so much sense to me.When I get uneasy with my Situation over breakup ,all at takes it seems turning in to your Video’,Emergency Kit,to building me back up,your Face expression often makes me laughing,and gives me Strength to hanging in no Contact ,to get me thru the Day’s .So thank you for that,you are truly amazing.I know with your advice I am in good Hand ,and I also learn patience,for what is important to me.Please stay safe and thank you so much for all the help you give us,I am so glad I found you and your coaching ,I would not want to miss that,that is how important it is to me.
@jlorenzoval.1750 3 жыл бұрын
Coach Lee is so handsome and so smart!! You are the best relationship coach on here.
@eelyakasablak 4 жыл бұрын
They send so many mixed signals... one day they’d treat you like you don’t exist, mean and that they’re sneaky. Trying to hide their “rebound”. Then the next they’d ask you to have lunch. Although she treats me like I don’t exist and rude I always have a smile on my face, super normal and polite. I’m doing everything you’re saying right before you posted this video. She’s also the first person to check my stories on social media. It’s really obvious that she’s faking her happiness.
@vdubmansmith86 4 жыл бұрын
If she's sending you mixed signals then its obvious she dont know what she wants. That's a waste of your time and energy so why give her a good vibe and she's being fake with you. What you could do is go no contact and dont post anything about your relationship with her on social media. Just back off and let her come to you. If her attitude towards you dont change then you need to dismiss her from your life and move on.
@christianclark4612 4 жыл бұрын
Hi Coach Lee, I just wanted to say that I've been binge watching all of your videos, you deserve a Netflix Special for the amount of quality you've provided in these videos. I was watching other coaches on KZfaq, getting advice from people who were telling me all the wrong things, I wished I had found your videos sooner, it would've saved me a lot of heartache. As soon as I can, I will be purchasing your emergency kits, even though I'm not married or currently in a relationship, I really just want the value of knowing what to do in these situations moving forward.
@RealCoachLee 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you Christian!
@mr.wonderbreadman3597 4 жыл бұрын
I will say coach you helped me in understanding how to properly communicate and to not do vulnerable things anymore I more happier with no having my ex and feel it as a blessing that I’m able to be myself again
@77BLAZER77 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your help coach, its really comforting and reassuring to listen to you, please post more often especially in these depressing quarantine times !!!
@angiemail8459 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you, coach Lee, that was fantastic and very helpful.
@diontaeknox574 4 жыл бұрын
You kno what you are talking bout 100 percent..you really do..I only listen to you cuz you do not cut corners..ALL FACTS..PLZ LISTEN TO HIM EVERYONE
@sharontay7482 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you coach Lee, this is just what I need to hear....your advice brings me lots of comfort.
@alfredtineo3023 3 жыл бұрын
Coach Lee has the best channel.
@terribythesea1506 4 жыл бұрын
Great sound advice Coach Lee...thank you...you rock!!!
@vibe8517 4 жыл бұрын
Make a video on first love and first breakup.. Cause many of your viewers are facing first love/breakup... This would be very helpful to alot of people
@jaynefernandez483 4 жыл бұрын
Hello King Coach Lee, I was looking today for another video and you’re here. Thank you. Love your hair and the blue looks good on you. No disrespect. Thank you , total relief watching your video driving home again from hospital. Stay safe 🥰
@jaynefernandez483 4 жыл бұрын
Andrea Buma have one already King Coach Lee
@BihFaca11 4 жыл бұрын
NoContact for life 💪🏼🙌🏼.
@richardl4116 4 жыл бұрын
Right! If you're not feeling it, time to move on. Let her be
@BihFaca11 4 жыл бұрын
Richard L Yes sir! Life goes on life is short
@victora.g.2708 Жыл бұрын
@@richardl4116 No contact will last until they reach out, sir. It's not our work. I hope you understand this.
@user-ix3sr6ng8u 3 ай бұрын
😅😅
@toiletfarm 4 жыл бұрын
My ex wife and I exchange our son, and our texts are generally pragmatic. When I do talk to her in person, she's anxious, dumps her fears on me, and is borderline in tears almost every time. There's a lot of confusion for both of us at this point. No contact is good simply because it prevents outbursts in anger.
@vdubmansmith86 4 жыл бұрын
Keep it short with her and dont let her know anything about who you may be currently seeing. Your conversations with her should be strictly about your son and nothing else. Good luck to you sir.
@cockasaurus16 2 жыл бұрын
Bpd or bipolar possibly there
@staceyrourke2557 3 жыл бұрын
I sometimes see my ex at work as we like working at the same place. He can't even look at and I've backed off. He sits there so quiet and I carry on and have a laugh with everyone in front of him. I hope all this works
@kiranruzzell2358 3 жыл бұрын
Hi coach lee.. I've been watching almost..i mean almost all of your videos now because I've been dump last month and now applying almost all of your NC and strategic rules and hoping it will work..btw i watch one of your videos that im doing wrong that when she dump me i keep on messaging her and she doesn't seen any of my messages and i realized that like you've said before that I'll give her time 1-3weeks..so, now ill applying the NC rule just today I'm making this message on you..and hoping for a bright future for me and for my wife🙏🏻..ill continue watching all your videos this is now my only sympathy because i dont want any of my family and friends get involved with this ill make it on my own way with the help of your videos.. God bless you more coach and more power🙏🏻😊
@heartbroken6627 4 жыл бұрын
This video showed up right when I was wondering if total no contact is too much- after all, every relationship is different.
@damien4v3 4 жыл бұрын
Heartbroken what’s your relationship and situation?
@vdubmansmith86 4 жыл бұрын
Depend on whether there are kids or property involved. If not then no contact is the best option especially if the person broke it off with you.
@kiasca3489 4 жыл бұрын
Hope she/he doesnt know your youtube channel name 🙈🙊
@karenreyes1122 4 жыл бұрын
Coach lees advice got my ex to contact me. I was in an LDR and thought maybe this wouldn’t work but it has! Thank you coach lee
@JelenaVecic024 4 жыл бұрын
Really? I was in LDR almost 7 years.was dumped on 8th march ..since then i am in NC... still feel super heart broken...how that works, let me know.
@Ace8845678 4 жыл бұрын
Tell us how!
@karenreyes1122 4 жыл бұрын
Jelena Vecic when he first told me he didn’t want to be with me I pleaded. That afternoon I accepted it and went straight to NC. IT WAS HARD. first month felt like and eternity the second month was hard but I had to really tell myself either NC to get him back or move on. I was literally moving on when I got a text from him. Asking how I was during this pandemic. I was nice but followed coach lees advice in not being the one to carry the conversation so it kinda died out. Then a week later he asked to call me I said ok and he apologized for everything I said thank you and that’s it. At this point I said to myself he needs to be the pursuer so I never initiated to text him. I thought well I blew my chances but I don’t want to feed into his ego and make him feel like I’m the chaser. Next think you know he’s constantly texting me, yesterday we spoke on the phone and he’s flying out here in two weeks. We aren’t officially back together but I feel like all of e advice coach lee gives is honest and it actually works. I watched many of his videos multiple times to get through. Stay strong work on yourself and know your value. Wishing you the best! 🤍
@sandrae2319 4 жыл бұрын
Karen Reyes beautiful ♥️ im glad it worked out for you
@karenreyes1122 4 жыл бұрын
Ace Lyp I was devastated when my ex broke up with me. I pleaded for him to stay but he was sticking to his “no”. I went into NC right off the bat. Watched all of coach lees videos to get me through the first month. This pandemic is also making it THAT much harder. I wanted to reach out multiple times but as coach lee says we can’t be the ones to pursue. So I held my ground. Just when I was feeling like I was moving on he reached out. One text here another there, I’d respond but never carried the conversation. Our talks have been small. Last night he called and we spoke for 2 hrs. In coach lees video on LDRs he states that the big gesture has to be done face to face, can’t be something done over the phone. In our conversation last night he asked if he could come visit and see me. I agreed. I have a lot to clear and get straight but his action of coming to see me speaks volume. I can’t say we are going to be back together but I now know that I have the advantage.
@JirouYuki 3 жыл бұрын
Its hard when she’s my boss, I still have to see her at work everyday. I haven’t finish my project so I cannot quit for now. I dont think no contact will work unless I totally disappear. Stuck here, guys. Seeing her everyday it hurts me so much.
@peachblossom.phlox3403 3 жыл бұрын
I also work with my ex and it's so painful seeing him all the time looking happy without me and I'm dying on the inside 😞
@willpianista Жыл бұрын
We still share the same apartment due to financial constraints on my part. It has been 7 months already and we have been through a lot of stages- from talking regularly and every day, sharing the same table on meals and etc. Currently, I'm using no contact as I can, because dealing with him every day and still sharing so much was hurting me and preventing me to move on. But I'm trying to dont act angry and being casual when we need to talk - but this is recent and these videos are helping me on that. I dont know if I want him anymore because I'm too much hurt for what he did and what I've been through, so this 'almost no contact' is to focus on me on the first place. Now, when me meet and talk there is a huge energy that surrounds us. It is almost impossible to talk to him as a casual and regular talk because of this energy on both sides. We still feel too much but I dont know what is up with him, I just try to focus on myself. I want to move out from here so I can practice the real no contact and then deal with whatever it will become of this. It is a win win situation and that is how I try to think.
@ollyolly4878 Жыл бұрын
Thankyou for sending me to this video greatly appreciate this
@ashleysmith1011 Жыл бұрын
Great content thank you.
@amorhatley1133 2 жыл бұрын
thank you coach Lee... you're the best❤❤❤
@geec.1932 4 жыл бұрын
yay 1st comment and like
@HaloHuntress 2 ай бұрын
I just need to get business done. He's completely silent. He's alive, posting, not blocking, just ignoring everything as polite and business oriented the messages are.
@faridsyarmany 4 жыл бұрын
thanks coach lee, i'm feeling better everytime i watch your video, i'm still in the NC rn, it's been 2 weeks of NC, she has reached me out a couple of times and asked me how i was doing, she also told me to move on but i responded to her politely and simply. I hope i'll get her back soon.
@vdubmansmith86 4 жыл бұрын
Dont respond to her anymore based on what she said. Stay in no contact no phone calls or text. Let her have the break up and just move forward with your life.
@unknown49818 3 жыл бұрын
Did u ever get her back?
@Goofy2242 4 жыл бұрын
So I just got out of a video call with my ex. We hadn't spoken for at least 3 weeks, but I sent her her copy of a magazine which came in the post along with a book she had left here. When she received it she asked if she could video call me. We had a fun conversation just chatting about coping with the quarantine and how everything's going, I was a bit cheeky with her throughout and at some point I just stopped her and said "btw, can I just say you look gorgeous today", which she appreciated. She did say that she thinks the breakup was the best thing that could have happened at this time, because since we are physically separated by the quarantine we couldn't even meet up if either of us wanted to or see each other randomly in the streets, and therefore we both got time to just get on as individuals. I said I agreed of course, but just changed the subject as I wanted to avoid talking about any relationship issues. I then said let's just leave it there, and it was nice to talk to her and let's do it again some time! She said yes and we said our goodbyes. Though just now after hanging up she sent a couple more texts just asking about my family and how they're doing, but it seems like maybe she is opening up the channel for communication. I just thought I wanted to share, since I don't have many people around me who actually give constructive, unbiased opinions haha Any thoughts on how to go from here?
@vdubmansmith86 4 жыл бұрын
Give it some time i would go in strategic contact with her. The good thing is you guys are talking and texting at times but it seems like she don't want nothing serious at this time. So what you could do is go no contact for a while just to see if she will check up on you from time to time. If she dont want a relationship with you after a while and that's what you want then you may have to move on to someone else. The best thing at this time is to give her the breakup and dont force a relationship on her until she brings it up. If she dont want a long term relationship and you do and she's not talking about going to the step then you need to fall back and let her really miss you.
@ianshakeshaft4150 2 жыл бұрын
It's been 7 months since my wife announced we had to separate, 2 months later I was told she was involved with someone and 6 weeks ago she finally moved out to her own place. I am in limited contact due to us having 2 children. But she seems as cold as ever. In process of taking her off the mortgage and I recently fitted new locks. She was not happy at all and messaged "what's the rush" to change the locks.
@cootrecords9321 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks Coach !
@lyricalprophet100 4 жыл бұрын
Coach Lee, I really would appreciate your advice on my situation.....
@blue_boy_ 2 жыл бұрын
He left me because his mental health is bad and that he has no interest in a relationship with anyone atm, which I partly think is also because of his mental health. He told me I didn't do anything wrong and that he really enjoyed the 2 months he was with me. We're both 16, so it's not like this relationship could have become anything serious like marriage or kids. I slightly hope things could bloom again in adulthood where we're both more mature and he's ready for commitment and has a better mental health
@ecstazyrm 2 ай бұрын
Coach Lee has great character
@doublea125 3 жыл бұрын
It's all about mirroring. Don't give any more than you get.
@ach4049 4 жыл бұрын
My ex and I do not have children together, but I have a son and he does too and we like each other's kid. So, today was his son birthday and I sent a gift via Sedex and an email to my ex with the tracking number just saying it was from me to "D"s birthday and should arrive soon. One line short, polite and not personal. Did mentioned us or our breakup or anything. Signed with my bussiness signature with full name.
@thomasnorthcastle4130 Жыл бұрын
Simply awesome
@robertbernabe6869 3 жыл бұрын
Loved the video. First off, what should I say/do if I have an outing planned with my kids and they ask if mom can join us? Secondly, should I discourage the kids to refrain from trying to include me in their outings? Ideally, I would want my time to be with me only and her time with her only. We have agreed for family outings together once a month. Maybe twice depending on what's going on in the world.
@timt8925 4 жыл бұрын
Damn I been out right ignoring her for a week and we live together.
@taaronjones 4 жыл бұрын
Hey Coach Lee, appreciate your videos man. They have helped me recover from a fallen relationship 2 years ago. I have used your tactics to move on to a new relationship. We started dating in January and built up amazing momentum. I was going to ask her to be my girlfriend, but then quarantine happened and I haven't seen her in person since. I know she is really really into me, but the connection has faded since quarantine. Most likely because she is a nurse in an epicenter and overwhelmed with the tragedy. We have texted here and there but nothing of substance. I have a note drafted out stating my intentions to pick up the momentum when this is said and done. This feels different since we never started a formal relationship. What would you do? Again, much appreciate the videos and advice
@vdubmansmith86 4 жыл бұрын
Aaron Jones in your situation I would try strategic contact. She could be very much overwhelmed with the covid situation or maybe she had a death in her family. I would text her one time and wait for a response. If she responds then that's good let the coversation flow naturally. If she dont respond after you have reached out a few times then I would go to no contact. Dont give up if she care anything about you she will respond at some point just be patient and dont force it let her call you.
@Lavida-melody 4 жыл бұрын
@aaron jones My ex and I started dating in January as well. We live in the same neighborhood so we never stopped seeing each other during quarantine. If she doesn’t live too far away it’s worth a shot to start trying to see her again. Especially since things are slowly opening back up. I know you wrote this a month ago, but a month in a pandemic changes more rapidly than usual. Good luck!!
@matthewdelaney2151 Жыл бұрын
Thank you and yes I have 3 kids 3 dogs
@EmoJoshSavesTheWorld 4 жыл бұрын
Hey, Coach Lee. Do you think you could make a video covering what to do if you broke up just before the stay at home orders were started, and how we can keep our exes from getting over us during this time? I literally can’t see her to remind her of the good times or the guy she fell in love with. I feel the fact I have just been a name on a phone for two months is not helping in my favor. I think it’s worth noting that the topic would not be about whether or not it’s okay to contact them during the corona virus, as you already made a video for that, but rather what to do to keep them from moving on during this time.
@TheMichaelCardoza 2 жыл бұрын
I’ve made some major mistakes up to this point. I hope I can turn this around.
@jessicas.805 2 жыл бұрын
Yea. Me too. I’m wondering how it all works now. 😔🤔
@Taran532 4 жыл бұрын
Do no contact with zero expectation that it will work. From watching millions of these videos and reading all the comments, I gather less than 5% of people actually get back together. Respect yourself and move on.
@RealCoachLee 4 жыл бұрын
It’s significantly higher than that. You don’t always here the end of the story when you read comments. And a lot of people do crazy things and then expect no contact to bail them out. It doesn’t work every time but it works a heck of a lot more than 5%.
@KC-kz9pd 3 жыл бұрын
Strategic contact will backfire if your partner has borderline personality disorder, emotional issues and is a narcissist. Tried strategic contact and she turned nasty and then snuck in my house and took all of my daughter's stuff that we were supposed to be sorting through together and dividing up fairly as we were supposed to still be on good terms, now it's turned ugly because I expressed my disappointment in her for what she did
@CiluhStyle1 Жыл бұрын
I feel for you man hope my wife doesn't turn out to be nasty
@ineanna 3 жыл бұрын
Hello coach Lee 🤗 thanks for your help a lot! Could you please make more videos about married but about to seperation couples. I wonder why people live still together and still broken up. Also what to mention or not mention in a couple therapy, if it is the case. Im feeling nervous because i dont trust in couple therapies much, we are complicated! It can cut the interaction at all. But how will i react to a person who wants to leave me but stay after 3 months of break up. Am i helping to get them be better and move on? Or helping to get them be closer? I cant get the subtle changes in our behaviours like we both are being more and more friendly lately. Please, more video for on the edged people. ☺️ greetings and thanks again.
@arise1mz 4 жыл бұрын
Coach lee!
@stephanielong6113 4 жыл бұрын
I really need to speak to you coach lee!
@stephanielong6113 4 жыл бұрын
Andrea Buma I love you thank you !
@brendaedwards3651 4 жыл бұрын
Hi coach Lee
@LoKiiiEditz 4 жыл бұрын
My ex came back after 4 months, I sent him pictures of my workout progress. Like a week after that he contacted me and wanted me to come pick him up and we hung out. I always wear a hat and while I was driving with him in the passenger seat. He took my hat off my head and I said give me my hat back all playfully. He laughed and said you said that on the first day we met. The time we had was fun, snd he wants to hangout again soon. We were together for 2 years and we lived together. Just be patient, work on yourself. I followed all of Coach Lee's videos, he was scared to reach out to me because he gained alittle weight.
@LoKiiiEditz 4 жыл бұрын
He left again, he said he was stressed and didn't want to talk for awhile. I'm really not caring at this point. So much energy wasted.
@hayquesonar2896 4 жыл бұрын
LoKiiiEditz I’m sorry girl ☹️
@globalmark3300 4 жыл бұрын
Coach Lee do you have any videos to get EX back with different attachments styles ? if not can you make some eg Dismissive Avoident Thanks
@joshuawiggins3891 Жыл бұрын
Well day one is over of the no contact and i made it no calls and only two texts but she texted me first she also is interrested in what im doing this weekend going out with a friend and I have been super nice no anger or sad poor me stuff i am strong and i can do this but it isn't easy to not it hard but it must be done
@ashleynedland16 2 жыл бұрын
My boyfriend and I broke up but we still live together. So limited contact has been the move as neither of us can move out. Don't know if it's working but honestly I don't care, I miss me being happy.
@Jayee9999 Жыл бұрын
I had been in a “situationship” with a man at work. He sat right behind me. Fortunately, his manager moved him to the other building. He still comes by to talk to the lady that sits next to me. He ignores me. I did see him in the break room and said hello. The next day he ignored me again.
@christianpetersons.garvez2707 4 жыл бұрын
Hi sir good day. Love what u are doing thank u and may I khow how can I contact u sir? I would love to hear some advices from u.
@Nova-tc6jv 3 жыл бұрын
Hi Coach Lee, I was about 110 days into no contact until some of his insurance paperwork and insurance bill were delivered to my address. I guess he forgot to update his address with the insurance company to his current address. I thought the right thing to do would be to let him know about it, so I broke NC. I left the paperwork outside and he came by to pick it up. We didn’t see each other or talk and kept it strictly about that during our text exchange. Did I mess up my chances by breaking NC?
@mendez_guzman9661 3 жыл бұрын
I’m to the point on why try! What’s the point in life then I remember about my kids and that’s the only reason why I don’t want to be a ghost…
@JimmyDean-ew7gh Ай бұрын
I went into no contact with my pregnant gf after My understanding of “space” was way off from what her idea of “space” was. Her idea was apparently closer to no contact. Can you talk about how to properly give space? How to effectively communicate towards what the needs and expectations are. So others don’t mess it up like me? I’ve honored her no contact, but used strategic contact to check in on her health with baby. That her stress and anxiety are in check that that I hope she is doing well. Stated “not expecting a response” as my first sentence. Just genuinely wishing her well. Hope it didn’t hurt me in my obvious desire to get back to baseline and reconnect and repair and raise our baby together…. Fingers crossed. Got 6 more months to go, so there is time.
@ericfeezell2830 Жыл бұрын
Wife left a month ago. I did break no contact 2 weeks ago when my father died. This is difficult when we have to discuss kids. Plus, she comes in when she picks up kids. I’m doing my part but it’s hard to make her miss me.
@MOTwaccoe 4 жыл бұрын
I have kids but contact them directly cutting the ex out of the loop completely. She knows I talk to them and arrange meets with them. They are 10 and 12. They both have phones. I want my ex back badly and I love her. Married 23 years and I miss her daily, we have been apart 10 weeks today and it was my grandsons first birthday. I went to see him at my daughters and then the ex took my 2 youngest and my eldest to see him and that hurt. I wanted to build memories and I feel left out. I still don't talk to the ex because I was hoping nc would work
@allaces9561 4 жыл бұрын
I'm in the same position as you my friend to a degree,my step son has just had his first child and iv not seen her because of this virus..my ex ended it 5 weeks ago and damn it's hard.. her feelings are shut off from me...I cant even see my kids atm,very tough indeed brother
@Yoshibelle615 Жыл бұрын
i love your videos they have helped me understand the breakup dynamic i wasn’t giving him the breakup but i have and it has helped me not care so much and he’s reaching out and being decent side note i think your nose is cute lol
@ferencmondik31 Жыл бұрын
@Coach Lee Shall I wish her Happy Birthday even though she is the mother of my child and we meet regularly? Thank you! Highly appreciate your reply! All the best
@latoyahicks8771 3 жыл бұрын
I need a one on one
@bjarnieinarsson5469 2 жыл бұрын
Its so hard cause me and my ex talk sooo much about our son. But i keep it on point, but im being funny and casual. I send videos and so on to my ex of my son and me doing fun stuff. But still afraid its to much
@lojadoindianobr 2 ай бұрын
Following your videos I try to avoid being angry even though . It's been very difficult to coup with my ex . Having kids in between looks like but sometimes I don't want to talk to her coz of way she has disrespected me for a long time. Sometimes she sends messages do this do that for the kids and I just send a thumps up. Now moving on it hurts but will pass god willing.
@caroshmarow Жыл бұрын
I’ve had to break NC to collect my remaining items 🙄 I’m dreading seeing him after 3 weeks going deep into NC🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
@shad6519 4 жыл бұрын
My husband took away my small indoor dog age 7 years old with him and I don’t know what my dog is doing since more than 4 months now. Thanks
@jacqui8392 2 жыл бұрын
Coach Lee Its day 28 NC - this morning my ex contacted me for the second time in regards to belongings at our house, we lived together 8yrs. This is the 4th time in total he has reached out since NC. First 2 times was how are you? and sorry. He wants to come and get some more stuff on Sunday, he was very casual, mentioned how hes grateful I'm the first ex to not go to war with him, and he hopes im getting out and about and we can stay friends...wtf. I acted accordingly and the convo ended..I feel broken for the fourth time. This is so hard.
@sandyt7225 4 жыл бұрын
I followed ur advice. We have been thru a variety of the stages. Been 10 months. He is drinking alot. And started being very disrespectful. So I stip taking calks. So now he calls every couple of weeks just to see how I am doing. I never call him am I handling this correctly. He says his is not drinking now. With contact being few and far between it makes me think its not going to happen.
@CiluhStyle1 Жыл бұрын
What if you're married and you're children are homeschooled, spouse breaks up with you but can't leave to separate or get the space you need cuz you have to be there for the homeschooling part? And spouse has deserted you at home while they only come home right before you have to work...how do you deal with something like that? This is so painful. @coachlee
@rickmunroe5078 4 жыл бұрын
I wonder if coach Lee and coach Corey are drinking buddies?
@Germanybabe 4 жыл бұрын
@Coachlee, are you available for calls?
@sashafranklin2309 3 жыл бұрын
Coach Lee, So my wife and I are separated, per her request. It’s very fresh. Been on NC for 4 days now. But the complications of my situation are, the kids are not mine. She doesn’t allow me to see them. Even when I ask. Then on top of that, she has recently said that I do not care for the well being of her or her kids, because I haven’t sent money to help her. She states that I only would help her if she lives under my roof. And that I am controlling. I don’t know what do. Do I send money? Do I continue with the NC?
@tacsshacktomcurrie1491 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the link. I failed in no contact in the fist 5 weeks, my wife just says she needs space, it will be a long long time before she will consider us and she doesn't know what she want but I went begging and I think iv made it worse. Thanks for this video
@SSpitz16 Жыл бұрын
Hi Can you give update?
@tacsshacktomcurrie1491 Жыл бұрын
@@SSpitz16 6 months now still separated
@SSpitz16 Жыл бұрын
@@tacsshacktomcurrie1491 Thank you for letting me know. Do you guys still talk or are you doing No Contact? In my case, we separated 5months ago after 11 years together. Hard to do the NC.
@tacsshacktomcurrie1491 Жыл бұрын
@@SSpitz16 yeah I kinda been abot unless tbf, now we just talk regarding the children, she's not as cold towards me just amicable. I don't reply to messages stright away and when I do talk to her it's about the kids, I don't react when she is pushing my buttons, dont get angry or show my struggles, today I just try and keep it kid focused but it is hard. I'm friendly enough not rude ect will make a passive comment like, how was your day ect but rarely. That's about I definitely getting better.
@SSpitz16 Жыл бұрын
@@tacsshacktomcurrie1491 Wish you all the best! Hope we can both get through this :)
@angelmontelongo4110 7 ай бұрын
Well, I definitely messed up here every time we get into contact I definitely over share. How is it? My fault though I was so used to talking to her and telling her everything we were together for 16 years ever since we were 13 years old and now I feel like all of my progress is gone because I definitely did not keep myself a mystery because every time we talked, I would almost tell her everything I’m such an idiot I should’ve been like her. She would talk and mention things, but she was. A lot more reserved. but now I know to be more mysterious and not over share what I’m doing in life I just thought it would help me but I guess not. Hopefully it’s not too late and I can still apply this.
@marterllll 4 жыл бұрын
make a video about getting back an ex with BPD
@johncieclark3897 4 жыл бұрын
Martin D run
@teddyh871 4 жыл бұрын
I’m on close to the 3 month mark of no contact. However my ex is a nurse in the hospital on the covid unit. I saw her on bumble a month ago. I don’t think she’s dating because she’s taking the virus very seriously. Does this make this time count less because she’s not dating and focused on work? It’s a super confusing situation:( . I’m laid off aswell so nothing but time to go stir crazy.
@stephaniegonzalez6835 2 жыл бұрын
Hi Coach Lee me and my husband are still living together he gives mixed signals there are times he laughs and jokes around with me but times he’s distant and we never go out what do you suggest
@quirkyquester 2 жыл бұрын
Oops, I just pretended that I didn't see her. Hopefully that didn't ruin the chance today. I'll smile and say hi to her next time I see her.
@lisagw4632 2 жыл бұрын
I don't work with or was married to my ex, however we have to see each other regularly. I work in a place that he frequents on a regular basis. He is there pretty much everyday. I do not work there everyday so I do not go unless I am working or that is what I try to do. We do have many!! mutual friends that also frequent this establishment. I am trying to use the no contact rule but because of this situation, totally disappearing is not practical. Any advice would be appreciated.
@sonymouse2917 4 жыл бұрын
But how can they wonder what you are up to, when they know you are stuck at home during COVID Self-Isolation?
@vdubmansmith86 4 жыл бұрын
SonyMouse they only going to know what you tell them through a phone call text or social media. If the person is not communicating with you how you going to know what going on with them.
@juandamaceno3682 2 жыл бұрын
Yesterday she came running the corridor behind me and then went away even before I could say hey or anything. Today, I saw her poem profile on a poem centered app, where she describes the scene as both of us were trying to avoid each. LOL. I didn't mean to avoid anyone. What now? We'll probably see each other again only tuesday
@madisonray9295 Жыл бұрын
Hi Coach Lee! What if my ex is the one avoiding me even eye contact at work? Thanks!
@inserter400 3 жыл бұрын
How. Can you build attraction on limited contact ?
@ullah2013 3 жыл бұрын
Hey Coach Lee, what about sharing a dog together with ex? We been together for 4 and half years … She broke up with me about a month ago, and I did no contact for 3 week. The relationship was pretty toxic. But I stuck by her side and never gave up on us. All she does is drink with her friends and gets disrespectful with me. Oneday, she broke up with me of something she caused. I started becoming all needy and begged her to stay. I even guilt trip her. Now seeing thing more clear, I should have never reacted that way. After no contact, she sent me a song and said she missed me. We started seeing each other here and there. She told me, she was talking to this guy right after we broke up … she claiming nothing happened and that they are just texting. That kinda broke me, because I’ve been miserable the entire time… I just focus on myself. Hitting the gym most of my time but still really hurt. We started talking regular because we share a dog that I got for her. We even sleept together few times. I asked her if we can get back together, but she said she’s wants to take it slow… and gives me the hot and cold treatment. I love her, I love our dog and I can’t not stop seeing him. She is overprotective of our dog and does not want to let me walk him alone or maybe she’s using that as an excuse, because I would walk him by myself in the past… I want to get back with her but I feel like she’s not feeling the breakup since I’m texting and I’m there. Any suggestions? Thanks
@luiskurt206 5 ай бұрын
Update???
@ohevshalomel 2 жыл бұрын
I can contact my two adult stepkids myself, so I’m not concerned about that. But my oldest cat lives with my ex-partner (her choice because she hates my other cats, LOL), and she’s an old girl. I miss her and don’t want to give up seeing her, plus my dog loves visiting his “daddy”. I haven’t contacted my ex since he dumped me about a half a month ago. Should I contact him to arrange “visitation” for the pets?
@chrisbell4894 3 жыл бұрын
We have kids so I use strategic contact but what do u do when she starts texting or talking about random stuff that isn’t necessary? I know u don’t ignore them but I want as little contact as possible so she might miss me.
@DatMusicGuyZ 4 жыл бұрын
My ex drunk texted me and tried making me jealous by showing she's with other guys, i didn't give a damn and then she called me (guess those guys weren't good enough lol)
@vdubmansmith86 4 жыл бұрын
Your next course of action is to go into no contact dont respond to no text messages or Facebook posts. Go ghost and act like you too busy to talk and hang around other women that look better than her and see how the tables turn. You have to play the game she's playing except be more extreme by going off the grid with her.
@DatMusicGuyZ 4 жыл бұрын
@@vdubmansmith86 I think the right call is to go no contact until she calls again, she has seen that i hang with other girls too
@vdubmansmith86 4 жыл бұрын
@@DatMusicGuyZ you right and at the same time if she wants to be with you seriously make her earn her way back into your life. Dont give her the green light so easily.
@joeostrosky8137 3 жыл бұрын
Is this a linear process? My ex contacted me on her birthday a month after break up and then again a week later about something else. I was sick on her BD(covid) then when she contacted me the next weekend, I was still not ready to talk. So followup on linear vs non linear.TY. Great advise and Videos.
@chikaokerekenneoma6386 2 жыл бұрын
I have a question to ask is there any exceptions for the no contact rule, like when you are In a no contact rule can you break it by wishing them a happy birthday and after that still continue with the no contact rules or where doing business before the break up happened do I have to continue the no contact rules or I do it apply in terms of doing business together.
@Khaledf0uad 3 жыл бұрын
i already made no contact with my wife because after the breakup she sent me not to contact her in work or talk with her in work ( as we work in the same place but it a large institution so we meet accurately in work and i didn't make strategic contact because she asked me not to contact her and i was upset and now we are almost 9 month separated but no divorce yet of course all what she says she wants divorce because i did not try to fix things with her when she dumped me so how could i make strategic contact for example like greeting her or saying hi or good morning after all this time with no contact?
@nathanwoodard7315 4 жыл бұрын
Does Couch Lee have an email? I have bought the kit, but I need to know if I can break NC due to my situation. I’ve read all the articles, but I need his advice
@sufianelmariamy9906 2 жыл бұрын
It has been 8 months now , my wife applied for a divorce already, and we have a baby together, do you think doing strategic contact will still help me ? Thank you for all your videos.
@michaelpipinias4305 Ай бұрын
@Coach Lee Thank you for your videos and replying to me Coach Lee. I wish I had found you sooner as after watching your videos I now realise I have caused alot of damage. Is there any other way of contacting you so I can make plans for a private session, I do not have FB or IG. Wishing you all the best Thanks again
@kristengonzalez1841 4 жыл бұрын
Hello, coach Lee i have watched all your videos and am in 8 months of No-Contact. Apparently he has a girlfriend, but he asked how i was doing and if i was dating anyone through a mutual friend. What could this possibly mean.
@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын
Kristen, it sounds like his REBOUND didn't work and now he wants you again. They ALL do that. If you take him back, he WILL CHEAT AGAIN. You don't need him. Let him go. Good luck, honey..⚘️
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