I've been NC for almost 5 months after leaving a 4 year relationship. Immediately after going into NC, I put all my focus on myself. I managed to focus so strongly on myself that now I realize that my life is better without that person than with that person and I've made the choice to keep them blocked and look forward. When you go into NC with your ex, utilize the purpose of it as a method to make yourself better, learn to be happy with and to love yourself, and to prioritize yourself. Take yourself out on dates, get into new hobbies, do things that you wanted to do but didn't when you were in a relationship--and watch how your quality of life improves. Don't get hung up on a part of your past or you'll never see the best parts of your future play out right in front of you. It's hard at first, but it gets better as long as you take the right steps. You'll be okay in the end--what's more? You will be better than you were before. Trust yourself🙂💜

You are 💯 I left my ex and regret it about 2 months latter max. I tried getting back with him but he was already dating someone else. I still love and miss him and I didn’t want to end it I was in a bad place and made a stupid decision one which I pay for everyday now. It’s been 6 months or so since our divorce and he is already married. He knows how I feel but chose her so there isn’t anything I can do at this point. But please for anyone who thinks someone leaving you means they don’t love you, it is not true. Humans are complex and we all make mistakes. Sometimes huge mistakes. I know all his flaws and I love him just like that. I am not just missing an idea. I love him.

He was cheating on his long time gf with me for 1.5 years. I confronted this with her, and she qas devasted to know his truth too. After I said her everythng my bf(also her bf😅) yelled at me for doing what I did. I was trying to go away silently but he was helding me as pendulum not giving clarity of who he wanted. One fine day I lost my calm and bursted out and said his gf to be aware of him too. Idk if I did right or not. All I want is him to realise he was doing wrong to both of girls. Also a part of me wanted him to choose me but he didnt He was crying for her and begging her to forgive him for what he did. But he didnt even feel sorry for what he did to me. I am at no cobtact since over a month. I am grateful that I am able to eat sleep walk do basic daily activties and most importantly smile. I thank God and I thank you for being there.

Amazing coach👍

My now ex I have been spending the last 6 months trying to fix things after living together with her kids and mine. The first 3 months we kept in constant contact. She was even spending every weekend when she didn't have her boys. About month 4 We started fighting more and she would block me on the phone but we would message for hrs through Facebook. Where she lives there is bad cell service. Then I would get random text again and things would go back to normal. In the last month her and her boys contacted my mom on mother's day. Her boys even called her grandma. The next week she sent me a pic of her oldest son's graduation from the 6th grade which was May 21st.. A few days later we had a long talk about our relationship and she started crying and said she loves. I knew she was going through a lot dealing with her boys and some health issues so I gave her a few days to herself. So on Mat 26 we had severe weather with tornadoes. I tried calling her and I was blocked again. I was at my neighbors who has a basement and used his phone to call. She ended up driving over when she got there I asked about being blocked again. She said well we haven't talked in a few days and I thought it was over. I said no we had a good talk and I wanted to give you space because I knew you were upset and she was sad and said ok. She stayed till the weather was over and I asked when she was leaving if she was done with me for good. She said yes and look me in the eyes and said I love you and drove off. The next day she posted on FB that she was in a relationship. She only has known this guy maybe 3 months tops. But here is the kicker she is still friends with my family and friends and hasn't blocked any of them. She has no one here because she's from 2 hrs away. I also have a bunch of her stuff and one item I know that means a lot to her and she hasn't asked for it or the other stuff back. Help!!

You deserve an Oscar

Sometimes Coach Lee just cracks me up. He doesn’t even try to be funny it’s just I find myself chuckling sometimes. 😭

I hate my marriage, I hate my life, I hate my spouse I hate that he verbally and emotionally abuses me. I hate that he critiques everthing I do. Nothing is ever good enough. I hate that he talks to my son behind my back. I hate that he demands I get on anti depressants, I hate that he belittles me in front of our friends and then says he is just kidding. He gets angry when I have a job and when I do get a job he is angry because I am not home. I can't win. It never gets better it only gets worse and worse and worse. He has financially broke me and has told me to my face that I am dumb, that I am unworthy etc. and I need to do better. it goes on and on and on. All I do is "Cry", I "Suffer from Depression and Anxiety." I can't sleep or eat. I am exhausted.

I made the mistake and begged her to stay and kept messaging her to the point where she blocked me. Since it happened, her instagram followers and following has creeped up, I’m assuming men. Do I have any hope? I love her and she told me she loved me a few weeks ago but she still left.

Idk why 10:36 cracks me up so much. So used to this man's professional tone that I cracked up when he was like "don't play like that" 😂 Also to anyone who is going through it I finally found a vid I feel like I can contribute to: The reason you don't want to reach out is because your ex needs to do some work and become better before you can CONSIDER taking them back after they entirely dismissed you. However, they stay distracted while you stay focused. So what happens is that you reach out > they haven't improved > you get disappointed > you lose attraction for them because you realize they aren't serious at all and you're a fool for waiting. Just stop. Try to journal, move on and don't reach out until they improve. And if they don't, they don't. It's better than you taking action and seeing them for the POS they are.

Coach, I removed my ex from my social media and removed myself from hers about a week after the break-up. I needed to heal; I didn't need to be reminded of what she is doing. So no way she can stalk me, but my phone line is still open. 10 weeks of no contact and going strong. Thank you for your guidance and support.

Coach you dindnt mentiob What should we tell when she is asking for fiXing something in her house after months of NC?

I don't believe in rule at all, especially no contact, you should try to contact your ex every single day and get yourself hurt again and again till the day you numb, till the day you feel like 'Ok he/she rejecting me as usual but today I don't feel anything' .... then you are really healed. NC is just avoiding and playing a mind game to yourself because during NC you still having lot of question inside you, go get your answer, get dumped another 100 times, then, you will be very exhausted as well....this is not applicable to everyone, but for some people.

I feel so hopeless. I’ve been in a relationship with girl for 5 years long distance from ny to Canada and it was perfect until the arguments and petty fights.. now I feel like she has lost attraction for me because of that plus distance and maybe her friends suggesting that she can do better. She’s so mean now and I feel so lost because she was my best friend now I feel like I’m dealing with this alone. and she’s throwing hints that she might be moving on to someone else but idk if it’s breadcrumb games or it’s real. She still has our pictures up everywhere but still being cold I’m so confused

Going through this right now. Coach Lee is not only a genius, but his videos have been very timely. Not sure what I am going to do yet.

Is it better to meet up and apologise face-to-face or is it better to do it through text/letter? I had a bad connection with his mom and hace said some really nasty stuff about her. It is not why we broke up, but it played in his mind. We have been in NC for 2 weeks.

Dont let anyone see you / hear you again who left you at first place , know your value ,just move on magnificently,,just disappear and heal just start reading self help books feed your brain with something important,trust me its my 30th day of NO contact, and i dont want them anymore they reached out some days back with multiple calls and text but i have moved on for good, just go no contact and process your feelings,and comeback stronger,,,, just dont let anyone treat you worthless twice .

After a 25 days no contact because he broke up with me, he started accusing me for his decision. Didn’t answer for two days then he texted me arguing again and I told him I need to know his feelings and our relationship is going where ?? He asked he can’t decide it yet because I am mean to him most of the time. Please I need you advice should I run away or give him a chance. We’ve been together for 9 months. Chemistry was good . Please what I have to do? Thank you

Coach Lee I would say that Avoidants don't understand the issues because they are emotionally immature. So if you get back together it will be like talking about it for the first time. Avoidants avoid responsibility, if you try to raise these issues, they start to stonewall, distance themselves, shutdown. Avoidants need professionals to help them thru their deep seated traumas. Avoidants aren't like the norm, I know that sounds judgy but keep it real.

Thank you, dear coach ❤ You have been stating sensible and true things

My ex left me and after leaving me i assumed he was in a rebound as i once saw the story and after that never saw their story together, 2 days back i was in a cafe n he entered and came to me and greeted me and asked me how im doing so i also congratulated him for his project, then he left to his friends and i noticed he was looking at me bt i didnt show him that i noticed and when i noticed him looking at me, he pretended to be looking around, and after some time he called me on my number, so i looked at him asking what? he asked me to come to him where he was sitting with his friends, so i went and he asked me to taste the wine as a celebration for his event, then asked me that how is my health, and asked a few things and then asked me to keep myself free on a particular day and i pretended that whats on that day, so he said just keep urself free and i. Will tell u. so i smiled and left. Today is that day and he didnt invite me for that event which i was assume he asked me to keep myself free. So what does that mean? Does he still love wants me? He regrets leaving me? He wants to reiniate with me or was it just friendly at the cafe? Bcz this side of his was new to me bcz wen even we were together then also wen we bunped into each other he didn't seem to be mine but this time when we are not together anymore n he left me, so this time he himself came to me in cafe and then asked me to join his professional friends n all and tried to talk to me.. now been two days got no msg or anything

Im a dumper my ex had such bad behaviour with bipolar it was hard to bevwith him. I’m suffering much I havebcry I love him but cannot continue. Not True time . However he said he will not be with anyone but he found someone elseafrerca month . He never put my pics in his FB profile but he already posted several pictures of them in his profile file .,doesn’t that hurts a lot . Why you generalize ? He promised to change several times but he never did

I come from a difficult, dysfunctional and psychologically abusive relationship with my father who was a covert narcissist and had robbed me of my self-worth, I was homeless with him for a very long time during my upbringing and never had a good home life growing up. I managed to escape that and had to go great lengths to get away from him, I was lucky to have known the people that supported me and helped me with that process. I went to go be with my extended family that had found me on the internet, they thought I was a gift from grandma that passed away, I genuinely felt that I would belong with them and I thought they felt same way, but unfortunately, I guess they didn’t. What seemed like a gift from the universe, just turned into something that only contributed to my psychological and emotional wounds, I was only with them for 3 months because of how difficult they were to live with, and how conditional their love and regard was towards me, their love was like a benchmark, I couldn’t really be loved or accepted for just the way I am, I would hear a family member say “But he wasn’t raised that way!” “Oh it’s just gonna take time.” …and had to constantly jump through hoops in order to be loved, and if I wouldn’t, then it’s basically ‘bye peace out can’t live with your family’. It’s just unfair to me how my upbringing pretty much got robbed by a narcissist father and is something no kid should ever have to go through, while my fully related brother got to have what they called a ‘privileged life’. Yet, some online stranger on discord invalidates me and went on to say “why should they love you” and “who are you and why should you be loved and cared for” and another person made a negative comment about me wanting a life there with my family and he said “you don’t seem to realize you want a warped and distorted view of your family” and calling me a “poster child of emotional immaturity”. …even a former friend laughed at me and invalidated me saying “well they raised your brother and not you so he’s their kid and not you why do you think you deserve everything he always gotten.” and that put more salt in the wound…and my aunt didn’t even have any idea why I went to go be with them, even though she invited me and was like “why not come stay here?”. She would ask me “What are the advantages that you think you have of being here?” but in my mind I’m like “I didn’t come here just so I can gain some kind of material advantages or benefits I came to have a life here with my family” I told her “I don’t know” and she was like “then why did you come live with us honey?” …It has put me in a constant endless loop of rumination. I remember I stayed with a friend of mine and his family because his mom couldn’t sleep at night knowing that I was sleeping in a car in a parking lot somewhere. They treated me as equally as their 2 boys… I wanted that with my brother… every other kid gets to have a family home life with their families and their siblings, I believe it is the most basic thing a kid can have… but I can’t? I’m not supposed to?… I have had someone that recognized the validity of my feelings though, and that person said “how on earth can you not be allowed just the same if not more”. I just wanted a life there with my family… Why would that be a wrong or reprehensible thing?

I don’t want her back if she’s been fucked by other guys during no contact there’s no point anymore

my ex after 5 years, contacted me by whatsapp. to see how i was doing...what shall i do, reply or ignore? i am single atm. broke up with another girl 3 years ago as she was a bit narcistic.

My Ex came bk 40 yrs later

I realized that time is our best friend for us men! They try to manipulate you and women always take their time, you gotta play their game and make time serves you

I am day 62 NC after a 10 year long distance relationship. Watching coach Lee daily, working on my exercise and company and will send her a photo of a band I went to see when she reaches out, if she does

Listen to Coach Lee! Buy the emergency break up kit-it WORKS! Don't ignore your ex when she/he reaches out! I told her when she broke up when she tried to " FRIEND ZONED" me- that, have never remained friends with fiends with any of my EX's since age 18! My ex was going crazy after 30 days with no contact and she reached out! I did not answer her for 48 hours! My Norwegian EX was actually "HURT" when I told her that I had been talking with another woman her 13 years younger ) (She is 51 I am 56) Nevertheless, I told her I gave her the breakup she wanted! Well, I told her our old relationship was " DEAD" however, I would entertain a whole new type of relationship 1 day at a time! So, she confessed she missed me very much and i told her the same! Now, we are in new uncharted territory and it's great! She is modeling new lingerie for me over Facebook Messenger and other benefits if you catch my drift! Now the LDR sex is Awesome! I will be flying over to Norway in 4 weeks to close the deal again! If you give a WOMAN the best SEX she ever had she will most likely come back if you make her feel wanted and emotionally secure! Never give up hope & listen to Coach Lee!

Coach Lee, my LDR ex sent me a long email after 1.5 month NC. It was basically criticizing my previous poor behavior towards the end of the relationship and then taking responsibility for the entire relationship, saying he love bombed me in the beginning and that I was a rebound he learned to love. Then he said he still loves me and cares about my family and wishes things could be different. Should I even respond?

Thanks!

Hey Coach Lee, I had a 4 month relationship and I was broken up with, begged for the first 3 weeks then went no contact for 9 days and wished her happy birthday, then back to no contact for 11 days and then she contacted me asking if my family and I were ok, I was polite and casual and just left it at "yes we are thanks for asking, hope you are too". then 5 days later of no contact she messaged me on instagram with a meme and a message of "congrats on graduating" (i had just graduated college 2 weeks before). I responded again with "thank you" and liked her message and left it at that. 2 days later I sent her a meme on instagram and it wasnt even opened. It has been a week since then back in no contact. Is it the right move to stay in no contact or should I reach out? I'm worried I was too cold to her second message. We had a good relationship and she was very high interest for most of the relationship, we never fought and then it just faded over the course of a 2 week period. Even if you don't answer I'd just like to say your videos have been incredibly helpful in trying to get myself into the correct mindset for actions going forward and wanted to say thank you, regardless of the outcome.

Hey Coach Lee, I had a 4 month relationship and I was broken up with, begged for the first 3 weeks then went no contact for 9 days and wished her happy birthday, then back to no contact for 11 days and then she contacted me asking if my family and I were ok, I was polite and casual and just left it at "yes we are thanks for asking, hope you are too". then 5 days later of no contact she messaged me on instagram with a meme and a message of "congrats on graduating" (i had just graduated college 2 weeks before). I responded again with "thank you" and liked her message and left it at that. 2 days later I sent her a meme on instagram and it wasnt even opened. It has been a week since then back in no contact. Is it the right move to stay in no contact or should I reach out? I'm worried I was too cold to her second message. We had a good relationship and she was very high interest for most of the relationship, we never fought and then it just faded over the course of a 2 week period. Even if you don't answer I'd just like to say your videos have been incredibly helpful in trying to get myself into the correct mindset for actions going forward and wanted to say thank you, regardless of the outcome.

When there is child involved this does not apply

Oh. So she played mind games with me while I was suffering. I hate her more now.

My girlfriend went from telling me how shed love me forever and she always said everything will be ok in life when something hard happened. Then I had a major series of events that caused me to check out a bit. She just dumped me then.

Hello coach Lee, I need your opinion please? my girlfriend (F/24) broke with me (M/24) last week. We had our on and offs but 2 months ago we discussed and had a deep talk about our future and we decided to continue, where I told her that I will try to change all the things that she didn't like to me and give her much more attention (these past 2 years I have been extremely busy with my work and studies and we have been in long distance, so I have tried to stay near of her as much as I could but maybe not at my best. I wanted to continue my studies abroad so I could have a better future for both of us)... Short story long, last week she said that she likes the progress and the position where our relationship is now is what she really wanted from us. The day before break up we were facetiming and discussing and very happy, I wanted to ask the next days about the idea of getting engaged since I am in the end of my studies and thinking to go back to my country. Suddenly the next day she told me that she want to break up, she continues by saying these "classic words" that she loves me, and that the next girl would be lucky to have me, but she just doesn't think that we are a good fit, after +4 years of relationship?! ... I tried a lot to convince her that she is making a mistake and that she has to think more about that, since honestly she is the only girl I want and everything I did was to have a better future for us, I never thought of anyone else or even talked to any other girl. She said that it's done. I want to win her back. I started no contact the next day, not to heal myself but to win her. The other day she put my favorite picture of her as a profile picture in social media, why? I don't want a future without her. Can anybody share any success story since our relationship was finished in good terms. and I truly believe that she doesn't have anyone else in here life and that she loves me, and she has also fought a lot for our relationship. I just don't understand why when we agreed to continue stronger, and we were actually going stronger. What do you think my chances are? What do you think I should do?

Thank you so much for this video. Helps me soothe my trust issues I had with my man since he dumped me before. I did the walking away too but we kept coming back to each other. Even though our relationship is not perfect, he does puts some effort for me. I should trust him more.

Crazy how Bumble is the add the comes up with these videos. The internet is so toxic.

I blocked my ex and am forcing myself to move on. I realize he wasn’t good for me and vise versa. I was an emotional mess with him because I wasn’t being seen or heard. I pray I find a more compatible partner! But for now I’m focused on my healing and have no desire to date.

Two years of complete no contact, she reached out after 4 months, but only to wish a happy birthday, in a message that showed quite a bit of guilt.. and I did not answer. Her betrayal was so bad it left deep wounds in me, and I can say I'm still not 100% fine after that. But really, all these "coaches" making money out of people's desperation and suffering.. it's disgusting.

She says she never loved me ever since, i heard it from her friend. She avoid me like she hates me but when i ask are you mad she says no , she just fell out of love and she want other guy that is what she says because i have nothing can deal to her in financial i think and because she is graduating . I do no contact and it's been a month and i will reconnect tp her after 4 days carefully. She didn't reach out but i watch your video and brad's video . Soooo what's the Best thing i shoul do ?

“It doesn’t feel the same anymore and I can’t force it, even though I wish I could”, he said and broke up with me. I told him it’s normal but he didn’t want to stay.

All these is a try to manipulate this person again.... The best thing to do is to light ur innerself and find out why u where not a man or a woman for him/her

Thank you Coach Lee. Went on and stayed NC in a few weeks. Accidentally met my ex in the streets. We talked. He cried and told me how much he missed me, how he cant imagine life without me. I want him back. He wants me back. But both of us decided we’re not ready yet because of other priorities. We promised each other we’ll reconnect on a certain time. We’ll start over. I have fears but also has now peace of mind.

I blocked her and it’s staying that way.

I hope this works coach lee. 🙏

Hey i wana connect to you with my story Plz tell where i can

The thing I learned the most from these helpful vids (and I’m sure coach lee will agree) is not to binge all these vids and cope the entire day. Yes watch a few for knowledge and what to do and not do, but don’t just watch one as soon as you feel breakup anxiety. The biggest point of no contact is to work on yourself during this time so whether they reach out or not you will still be A-OK.

Just hit month 2 trying not to break and i thought getting sober was hard.