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I was an Army Medic for 3 years active (5 years reserve). There seems to be no end to the stupid things a soldier will do. They definitely kept us medics busy.

Rule of thumb don't irritate the medics. Remember they're the guys that have to patch you up in the field.

You'd think these would be common sense, but you know how things are on the battlefield. Good for us that we have Simple History here to teach us about both history and safety.

I've served in the military and you'd be surprised how many times the troops find ways to hurt themselves in new and innovative ways every day. It boggles my mind how some of them made it home alive.

General rule of thumb: When about to attempt ANYTHING the seems unsafe, just think “Will the medic hate me for doing this?” If the answer is “Yes.” Then just…don’t…

I'm surprised anything involving touching enemy weapons. During WWII, the defense department had to release a statement to troops that the type 89 "knee mortar" actually cannot be fired from the knee. This was due to the number of marines coming back with broken legs after playing with them.

I remember one of my teachers in High School, who was a former US Marine, told the whole class about how a lot about his time in Marines. One time he told us that when he was in the marines (which was around the 1990’s early 2000’s) a lot of the vehicles & Equipment were hand-me downs from the US Army, which were mildly damaged, when I asked him how does the equipment get that badly damaged if there isn’t any active war, he responded with “Well when you have a bunch of 18 year olds behind the wheels of the vehicles, and there are no roads in sight, and the kid goes “But Sargent, there are no roads in front of us” and the Sargent says “We don’t need any roads where we’re going!”” Probably the best School Teacher I’ve ever had.

I've never owned a gun. I had a machine gun in the military. But looking down the barrel of any weapon is as wise as planting your hand on a glowing hotplate to see if it is on.

Lighting cigarettes in combat comes with other risks, namely revealing your position. At night even the small flame can make you easy to spot, and the rise of thermal imaging makes this even worse.

Don’t play with a loaded gun, even if the safety is on

On my 3rd tour in Afghanistan I was promoted to SFC. As a result I took an admin job behind the wire running the Mine Action Center and had free time to take some college courses. I took the EMT-Basic course through Central Texas College. During my clinical rotation at an aviation regiment aid station a pair of knuckle draggers came in with SEVERE frostbite on their feet. They’d decided to STAND on a sheet of ice in sub zero temps on a date to see who could stand it the longest. They both were treated and returned to duty.

Listen if I wasn't supposed to light my cigarette with a flame thrower pilot flame, they wouldn't have put it on the flame thrower.

1. I'll bet you a million dollars someone has tried to light a smoke with a flamethrower in use 2. I'm betting those were Marines doing something that stupid 3. Drinking from a Howitzer barrel is perfectly safe as an initiation, IF you PROPERLY CLEAN it first 4. The mocking of Meal Team Six members in this is hilarious and priceless

Nice Band of Brothers reference. 😆 0:37

“California I’m fine, somebody check my brain! California is alright, somebody check my brain! Check my brain!” Alice In Chains

thanks talos I'm not a medic, I'd be too bamboozled as to how these guys got themselves in the situation to actually help, seriously

i love this channel, any and all audiences can be entertained and learn actual history

“ as well as using common sense” as we like to say in our family though, common sense isn’t very common. Judging by this video I am wondering if that applies to the military too.😂

lead poisoning and rdx syndrome were the last thing on the minds of the Vietnam vet. acute lead poisoning was definitely a daily struggle to avoid

9:34 I CANT WITH THIS IMAGERY 🤣🤣

I couldn't help but laugh at the lighting a cigarette with a flamethrower one. I don't know how that just causes me to laugh. I'm thinking it just has to be the waste of fuel for that entry.

I was a medic for 14 years and 2 tours. Dumbest thing I've had to treat that fits this video was in Afghanistan the soldiers I was with liked to shoot each other with their tasers as a joke. One afternoon a soldier did this to a soldier that was just exiting thw shower when his buddy shot him in the back with a wet taser. The soldier that was hit was knocked out when he hit the floor and split the back of his head open. He recieved 8 staples, a concousion and a trip to Craig in Bagram. Needless to say it became a big deal.

Here’s probably an extreme example, but DON’T be like Homer Simpson and use a gun for anything other than what it was designed for.

Love the band of brothers reference 0:50

You forgot the most important gun safety rule "all safeties fail" your safety will fail at some point of use

There's badass, and then theres taking weed shotguns through the barrel of an 1897 trench gun

thank you for always giving me my knowledge for the day sir, could you maybe dig into chemical history with disasters and whatnot?

30% of this video is an advertisement.

We used c4 to heat our coffee or just to stay warm in Afghanistan. Just cut off a little and light it. We didn't use our claymore though. We had actual angry putty.

We had stupid rules in the Army because privates did stupid stuff

0:52 Cpt. Ronald C. Speirs to a German P.O.W.s: ,, Cigarette? "

a day goes from normal to good when simple history uploads

Here’s one: Never get involved in a land war in Asia. Also: Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.

Can we all appreciate that Simple History is the best educational channel?

Shortly after getting out of the field, my uncle (who was a corpsman with the 2nd Battalion 9th Marines from 1968-69) temporarily became a forward area ambulance driver. Which entailed driving around and picking up injured Marines on base. He once had to go get this one kid. Who had killed/shot himself through the eye & out the back of his head while he and his friend were playing Russian roulette with a loaded .45 (M1911 pistol) to pass the time - Some stupid game!

About the matter of staying in front of a gun's muzzle, one of my shooting instructors told me the story of one of his colleagues, who stayed no straight in front of the muzzle, but a less than a meter away from the muzzle, only a few centimeters away from the firing axis of a gun loaded with blank rounds (just propellant, no bullet), it was during a practical exercise. The flame created by the blank round, despite the muzzle plug required to ensure auto reload gave him second degree burns all over the face

0:55 Band of Brothers reference

Flamethrowers were also used in the european theater against pillboxes and other concrete fortifications during the Second World War.

You forgot the most common game played, Mumblety-Peg. You stand across from one another and throw a knife at their feet. Closest throw wins, oh and you lose points for flinching

Key word Treat Never Keep Keep. Treat every weapon as if it were loaded. Never point your weapon at anything you are not willing to shoot. Keep your finger straight and off the trigger until ready to shoot. Keep your weapon on safe until ready to fire. Number 5 is know your target and what lies beyond and between.

Very good video as usual Simple History. Well-done video about the dumbest things no soldier should ever do.

love the band of brothers reference at 00 41

Honestly why anger the medic? They decide who to rescue first and seconds help

Love your videos its good to have someone like you

Things to do in the army. Simple History: "THINGS NOT TO DO! That means you as well Marines." Marines: "Party pooper."

As a Long Time Gun Owner and Firearms Enthusiast? I approve this video. We don't play with guns. Even if the weapon is NOT loaded or the safety is on? Once guns go off? You can't call back the bullet. Yes I had a few neglect discharges on my life on both airsoft's and a firearm. Many years ago when I was 16. I accidently shot the old couch with my airsoft M4 Rifle. I thought it was completely unloaded but every time I keep pulling back the sling? It wouldn't come out. Another example I shot myself in the finger with my airsoft gun and it felt like I got stung by a big hornet. That was very stupid of me. When I was 24? I had a neglect discharged on my father's Smith and Wesson Model 10 .38 Caliber Revolver at the gun range. Luckily I didn't get caught and I had it pointed at the target. I wasn't used to holding on to a revolver. Now I've learned these lessons I haven't had a neglect discharged in 3 years.

Absolutely brilliant videos and at 7:30 I love the platoon reference.

Don't light a cigarette with a flamethrower. And don't use your sidearm to kill a mosquito!!! LOL

who ever drew/animated the frames of the incompetent gun user made my day

As a US Army vet I can’t tell you the amount of diseases, injuries, dumb things we did the throwing darts and knives at eachother to repelling naked out of the barracks to doing stupid things with high explosives, grenades, flash bangs in the barracks buying a whole town dry of alcohol the list goes on and don’t get me started about IVs in your Pecker or the amount of diseases soldiers get by being stupid out on the town like it’s a different world. I miss it though not really but it’s nostalgic

Don't make a bomb out of your MRE heater too......(military know what I mean) Had a guy stuff three into a plastic canteen.....I guess you know what happened next....

In the italian army they taught us to consider as a killing weapon an unloaded weapon. Nobody had accidents giving respect to them.

I love this channel so much. I love the stupid and the craziest things of history, Especially WW1 and WW2.

0:50 Ronald Speirs had entered the chat

7:42 isnt that scene from the movie Platoon?

I've lit my cigarettes off of basically anything that would get hot enough during the time I smoked. If I'd been in the military I'd have probably found a way to use basically anything that gets hot enough. Household things I've used... stove (both gas and electric), toaster, toaster oven, the arc between two exposed wires, propane grill, campfire, fireplace poker, a magnifying glass... The trick with anything that'd be way stupid to put your face up to is to get the tip alight then pull the cigarette to your face. So I could see using a flamethrower's pilot light. Just tap the end to the pilot light, pull it back, inhale. Job's done.

Appreciate this quality content👌

I usually hate ads and skip them but Chris’s voice is so soothing and rough I find myself letting them play. 🤣

"Front Towards Enemy"

7:35 A bit difficult with an Ithaca 37

fun fact the Mythbusters tested the Burning C4 trick and the way the method that were used to put them out and they didn't explode but thats still a risk i won't take and do not advise

"DON'T DO these Stupid things in the Army" First thing: join

Good vid keep up the good work

Great video for the algorithm thanks

Loved that Ronald Spiers cameo with the cigarettes LOL

9:34 What an absolute unit

the way the end part of the ad plays again at the end of the video

When I was in the navy we used to sit around and bounce racquet balls at each other's nads. Fun times

I bought premium for no ads just to watch ads😒💀

Soldiers drinking wine? Well, maybe the officers.

0:45 lol😂 Band of Brothers reference is everywhere, Captain Spiers mowed some grass.

1:43 -- I always wondered about these devices that use "pilot lights"...if it doesn't work is there a co-pilot light you can use as a backup?

You’d be surprised how many guys light cigarettes with torches in construction or vice versa by lighting a torch with a cigarette. Surprisingly pretty safe

7:34 i already knew this from watching shotgunning 1973, i didn't know how common this practice was, my dad is a Vietnam war vet, so I'll ask him

I love the band of brothers reference with the cigarettes

0:40 band of brothers reference

I used to know a Vietnam vet who told us about cooking C rations with C4, in addition to the fumes his other concern was guys trying to stomp out burning C4...

Medics should get special badges with an image of Charles Darwin on them to hand out to soldiers

When i was in cadets there was a story about a group of cadets in the 60s or 70s that found a mortar unexploded and were carrying it around for a day or two and eventually played a game of rugby with it, where it eventually detonated, maiming many of them.

One can only shake their head at the sheer stupidity human beings can be capable of... 🤨😔😔😔

the cigar scene. reminds me of a series.

great video, very informational

I played DMC so many times the guy in the thumbnail looks like Vergil to me.

I am pleased you went over the rules of fire arm safety

didn't know this was a tradition to drink alcohol throught an howitzer cannon the medics at the time must be ready at all circonstances

“You shoulda stayed in the army dude! Shamone! Even Tito looks better than you!” Michael Jackson

The U.S flame throwers didnt have a pilot light. They ignited the fuel with basically a tiny road flare loaded in a revolving cylinder, they only burn for a second, and the trigger pull ignites a new one every time. The fuel is projected with such force that it would immediately blow out any gas pilot light. You would also have to have an additional gas tank and plumbing for a pilot light as the m1 and m2 used jelly gas and compressed air Presumably you could turn off the fuel valve and spark an igniter and if they're quick enough tilt barrel up and light a cigarette just fine. You would spray your face with burning phosphorous that cant be extinguished and is hot enough to melt thru your skull, but you would damn sure light your cig

"Dumb ways to die, so many ways to die"

Liked the platoon reference ❤️

“People get burnt alive trying to light cigs with flame throwers” advert starts “now we love nature” ends “don’t heat food with c4”

Damn that LTC Ronald Speirs reference at 0:36 made me watch another run of Band of Brothers. 😂

9:34 WHY IS HE LIKE THAT 😭😭😭

What was up with the super huge soldier? I waa not ready for that and just almost died laughing. Oh man, that was great. 🤣😂

I once knew a guy who did something stupid in the army: We were sent out on a 5-7 day mission in Kandahar Afghanistan during August _(120° F days)_ and we were required to carry 13 liters of water in our packs. _(Almost 3.5 gallons.)_ Specialist Heather hated the idea of carrying all that heavy water. _(He was a SAW gunner, so he already was humping a lot of ammunition.)_ As soon as we got on the Chinook helicopters, he started to drink it. An hour after we landed he managed to drink all of it. I was coordinating various assets over the radio _(I was a 13F forward observer)_ and moving around our platoon's staging area and I had to go around and inform everyone ISR saw what looked like armed Taliban on foot was moving towards us. _(It turned out to be Afghanistan National Police that were just lost.)_ Anyways, I came over to Heather's position, who was lying prone, convulsing in a puddle of his own watery vomit. Naturally, I was like: _"Heather, WTF..."_ 😫 He told me that he drank all his water. I was like: _"The water's weight doesn't go to the "magic place where it doesn't weigh anything" you f***ing idiot. Those 13 liters weigh under under 10 pounds you god damn p***y."_ Our Platoon Sergeant, Sgt. Irish, naturally thought drinking water would solve the problem. _(Hydration is very reinforced in the Army.)_ Of course Heather was barfing it all out. Our medic PFC _"JoJo"_ Johanningmeier, was trying to set up an IV in him. I had to get _"vocal"_ in a way _(whispering in the dark)_ with them to tell them that water intoxication was a real thing, but was so rare that only determined idiots ever managed to get or die from it, and they were killing him. They didn't believe me so I had to get the platoon leader Lieutenant Tompson to understand what was going on and intervene. Long story short, despite natural selection, Doc JoJo and Sgt. Irish's scientific illiteracy, Heather survived, barely. He was medevaced _(helicoptered)_ to Kandahar Air Field, and recovered. I assume that he pissed a lot too... The best part about this was Lieutenant Tompson crediting me for Heather's survival that night. And Sergeant Irish saying _"sorry"_ to me for calling a BS idiot. After that, the whole platoon thought I Einstein or something... 😅

7:32 that was Walter Cronkite interviewing solders in Vietnam, and I met the guy that did that during the interview, i rode bike with his brother.

0:54 oh that sergeant...

My Grandpa said the Army told him to smoke to keep the mosquitos away when he was island hopping back in WW2. It was the only reason he started.

Correction “DON’T DO these stupid things in the Military”

I recently saw an aftermath video on Reddit. It was the result of drunk Russian soldiers that decided to play with a hand grenade