Unbalanced stats finally coming into play

Goals

Now i want to see Gura drawn as a mob boss

She is one in her collab song with calli

⁠@@Zereul-MedikatedTurnipthe music video for “Q” with gura and Calli she’s drawn as one

Even pulled out the Partnership Contract legality clause. That shit is legal in the US.

@@nooblangpoo can't do 2x2 but knows US trade laws

I admire Gura more and more every day. Finding out that she's kinda ACAB was beautiful. Remember: there are easy to understand and very quick and simple videos that will teach you your rights with the police. The most important one - if you're ever detained and they start asking you questions, THE ONLY THING YOU SHOULD EVER SAY is "I want a lawyer/my lawyer." Say nothing else. Do not engage with them. Refuse outright. It doesn't MATTER if you're guilty or innocent, if they think they can wrap a case up just by saying you did it, they will.

@@pickleskpg She might be dumb, but she's not stupid.

@@RabidDogma Well, there are some police who won’t just try to wrap up the case, but yeah, you should never assume that the one(s) speaking to you won’t do that. Never speak to them without a lawyer present. The only things you can safely say are, “Am I free to go?”, “No, you do not have my permission to search my X,” “I choose to exercise my right to remain silent,” “No comment,” “Do you have a warrant?”, “I would like to speak to a lawyer,” “Here you go!” (when giving them your license and registration at a traffic stop), “Hello,” “Goodbye,” and other things to that effect. Otherwise, remain silent until and unless a lawyer who will represent you is present, and then only speak if your lawyer says it’s fine to answer. Lawyers are far better trained and far more experienced at being able to discern between safe questions and potentially incriminating ones as well as between honest policemen and those with an agenda. They are also far more familiar with the law. Additionally, because the lawyer themself is not directly involved, they can keep enough emotional distance to make rational decisions (which is why even lawyers should call a lawyer when being questioned). And do _not_ sign anything they give you without a lawyer present! No Miranda waivers, no written confessions, etc.

"U.S.A: You sure about that!"

"Ohohoh, my dual passport says otherwise!"

You a long way from Japan, Subaru!

"You're talking a lot of [Nippon Legal System] for someone in [BURGER EAGLE LAND]ing distance!"

Japanese "legal system" is more or less okay. It's their criminal investigation and procedure practices that are full-on fucked up. The shit you saw in Persona 5 is reality, not exaggeration.

Sasuga American shark

Almost Experienced I'd say

It's either she's experienced it or tried to avoid the law at one point and did her research

@@gizmo_ph probably to become God's Greatest Drunk Driver

@@gizmo_ph or maybe just watched a few crime shows every now and then.

I mean, to be fair, she is right. For the first case, you cannot simply determine the truth if all parties involved are not present. For the second case, while that line is questionable, it is not illegal as she is owner of the said axolotls. For the third case, the meaning of TKB can be questioned for the validity of the case. It's possibel that it is only a misunderstanding of the term. For the last case, Gura is cute. While the term cute is vague, we cannot deny that she would pass with at least one factors of what is considered "cute." lmao, I was watching audit the audit channel then youtube recommended this.

@@konaqua122 the second case is a different crime lol

@@konaqua122 Pretty sure animal abuse surpasses ownership 😂

@@Firehot4321at the same time, she’s a 9000 year old Atlantian shork. She has the excuse of knowing everything about Axolotls, and is basically a master of marine life. It’s not farfetched to say that she is overly qualified, as she stated, to take care of those Axolotls.

@@Firehot4321 that wasn't the charge. The charge was "you claim to be seiso, but this is clearly not what a seiso person would say".

Methinks Gura has been watching "Catch me if you can" a little too much.

We're did this happen?

Right? That KUSO had so much energy behind it xD

@@Guras_bumhole at the end of the video

Timestamp please?

Especially the “you can try” part lmao

ETHAN, YOU HAVE TO CONTINUE THE REDFIELD BLOODLINE!!!

@@order60000000000 IM ALREADY MARRIED CHRIS, GOD DAMN IT!

Not like Japanese marriage laws (such as to your cousin) lend much credibility to such an accusation! XD

@@ChronoTriggerHappy I READ YOUR WIKI ARTICLE, THAT'S BULL. AND BESIDES SHE ONLY NEEDS YOUR SPERM NOT YOUR VOWS. PUT DOWN THE APPLE JUICE AND GET WITH CLAIRE OR IT ISN'T FAIR

Is a miranda's right thing

The lawyer was for the opposition so she wouldn't have such a one sided debate XD

@@aboooowo You beat me to it. It was definitely a "Call an ambulance" moment.

The lawyer would be there just to remind everyone shark is cute

Luna Wolve, I really hope this name involved a certain Warmaster.

"I still haven't seen a badge. Badge doko?" she had me cracking up the whole time 😂😂

I invoke the fifth.

@@astranix0198 Shuba: "I invoke the second *bang* *bang* "

Saul Sharkman

A complete power move would have been to go into a standard scammer script once Bae said she was accused of fraud, since that is/was a common tactic. Often involving finding a car in texas that was rented under your name that had several thousand dollars worth of cocaine and blood in the back seat.

Yes. Legally speaking, Gura is cute.

@@E4439Qv5it’s only logical

@@E4439Qv5 Gura plays the Dot Warner card; it’s super effective.

@@E4439Qv5 It is now a matter of public record. Future courts could take judicial notice of Gura being cute.

Flat is justice

*Flashbacks of a Yuki-onna themed waifu* Sure as hell is.

The -baby- princess was right

0:57 Bae : You're in the face of justice ! Gura : What do you mean I'm in the face of justice ? I'm justice. YOU'RE in the face of justice.

Sora (NGNL) was right

oozaru ‪✕‬ oozora 〇 oozaru ＝ big monkey lol

There's also a cultural gap. in Japan, police are respected figures who can't shoot you dead in the street with the excuse being "I was jumpy"

​​@@ldobehardcore On the flipside, as I understand it, Japanese police are so highly respected that citizens are unwilling to argue with them, and may confess to crimes they did not commit because it's what the officers want to hear.

@@MHurley21 Indeed. They have a very authoritarian and collectivist oriented society. This leads to the mentality of "if the police are accusing me of something, then I must have done something wrong."

Subaru: Why don't you listen to me and keep argue with the police ?! Gura: This is america

Real japanese prosecution right there. "Your lawyer will come AFTER we decide if you're guilty".

​@@demilungPhoenix Wright games are correct.

​@@E4439Qv5As was Persona 5.

@@shinigamimiroku3723ah yes, a P5 reference. _...I never see it coming._

"It takes a great deal of talent to conceal one's talent" -Rochefoucauld

she as low INT, but high WIS. she knows how to talk to people

More like CHA.

Int 1 Wis 5 Char 100 I meant to put 10, but I'll leave this as is.

Being bonehead is just a cover for Gura. She knows what she is doing she's over 9000 years old. Yoda only made it to 900. So Gura is wiser than Yoda.

....you are... dammit...

@@merfyn4838 Cute is Justice

@@esmith8818 no she cant keep getting away with this!

@@merfyn4838 Are you saying she's not cute? Because that's plainly not true

@@esmith8818 I-i didnt say shes not cute just... just... cmon shes weaponizing her massive cuteness thats feels like cheating... im not wrong right??..... right?

LMAOOO

Gura: "English, do you speak it?!"

i would kill to see these three recreate a scene

So what you’re saying is we need to get Gura on tax evasion

​​​​@@PikachuLittle ok. Officer Baelz, was it? I don't care _who_ the IRyS sends-

@@E4439Qv5 are happy now? Do you feel proud of yourself?

Capone got busted for tax evasion, I think Gura did better than him!

Vergil approves tax evasion~

“Who’s Miranda??” - Bae and Subaru, probably

Somehow I have Mass Effect in mind

At least she knows her Miranda rights.

i am lucky that i remember that character

​@@lildyo As a non-american, the only Miranda I know before the stream is Miranda Priestly lol.

The Subaru and kroni conversation thing in mine craft is good if u didn't watch it yet

to be fair its ina ANYONE who tries to prank ina will get a uno reverse card to the face. ina knows exactly how to turn your planned prank on its head. so its not really Gura's general ability in question here, its just that the opponent she went up against is an expert with her craft.

@@dawnseeker176 Sana knew how to get Ina pretty good iirc

and even with Ina her response to getting caught unprepared was great

@@metalsonic8888 And now she gone. Why do you think that is?

@@-ZH Lmao what the heck are you implying? Is this a dark joke that Ina forced Sana to quit because Sana could prank Ina? That is in wildly poor taste if so man. On a serious note, Sana probably quit because she didn't like the job. No more or less complicated than that

It was mentioned that bae passed the n1 Japanese test which apparently even native speakers struggle with, she might be the best at jp in all of hololive

@@jeremygeller9145 She's so freaking impressive, it blows me away

Bruh that break enhanced her natural instincts to ultra instincts

The only one that can rival gura in the cute department is kobo, so she can probably just do the same

too bad kobo didnt make the "im cute" work lol

Gawr Goobman

@@redactado266 Better call shork

when you need a lawyer, Gura can help you solve things easily

Yesss, if we lose then the shork will eat you

"Your honor, my client may very well be guilty of fifteen different war crimes in the face of the law, I will give the prosecution that much. HOWEVER, if my client is convicted here and now, I will pout. Consider this in your verdict, your honor." "...case dismissed."

I can't wait for it to be animated.

I don't think gura was there. Right before her turn, Subaru was typing as if sending a message to join the discord(?). very different from ina's turn

@@tamagoGG there all in japan they were talking about it elsewhere they were with subaru

@@tamagoGG She did say she was going to be there in person but who knows.

No, Bae confirmed that Gura was through Discord. It's the reason her and Subaru were giggling right after Gura started talking, because Bae couldn't hear her and they (Subaru and Bae) had to share a headset.

Right, right, she is from Atlanta got it!

@@KellyMorGon Well Atlanta is in Georgia soo

@@angelredvivar The Devil went out of Georgia for a good reason

A true shark if I ever saw one.

@@daedalus6433 the Devil left Georgia cause Johnny kicked his ass in a fiddle contest.

It's all that slime, it makes her slippery

I saw a clip of that Was it using the pants as a rope or something like that

The best genius, because Calli also had to make up almost everything about "Dr. Nice" on the spot since Gura thought "I'm going to go out of my way to bully the shit out of this one character the GM offhandedly mentioned." The bone bros improv-ing together are the best.

Her adlibbing was incredibly slow and she was plain confused in the ttrpg tutorial wdym? Take a shot every time she said "idk what to do"

@@angelredvivar "shut up chat, I can't use my belt, it's not in my inventory" "actually, you can use it but your pants will drop" "alright, pants are coming off"

I just realized! I JUST REALIZED! Flat is Justice!

@@falsehero2001 god damnt

*Tosses trident out of the window* Im a REALLY good lawyer

Better called shark

did he dead by snu snu :)

She tossed a trident out of the window, said trident hits someone, and she got away with it. She is a good lawyer.

Better call Gura

Bro I second that She’s a beast

Well, she passed the N1 japanese test so she's godly

@PanPan actually awesome

Im impressed by that too

@@PanPan-ml1ip wait what is that?

Kronii can say that~

Aye, it is the American way.

Ina got away too, seems like EN in general(Coco included) are a slippery bunch

@@rauden340 Americans work under the assumptions of “you can’t prove anything” and “I know my rights”. It makes us obnoxious and arrogant but it lets us bulldoze the unprepared

@@rauden340 Ina mostly cuz she’s a pun master and Ina-cent was far too easy

@@rauden340 They learned from the best, it seems.

That is what I was thinking!

A lot of things can happen in over 9000 years.

When you've been living for over 9000 years, you pick up a few tricks

Gremlins are born with the innate ability to deal with the authorities... If they weren't they wouldn't be able to maintain their rich culture of tax evasion

Nah, she just binged Better Call Saul

It kind of fits what I've heard about the Japanese legal system. Very rarely someone is aquitted by the court system, so basically if the police decide you did something and the prosecutor takes your case to court, you are already screwed before you even enter the court building.

Miranda rights aren't exactly the the same in Japan. Subaru needs to have really solid rock hard evidence that can't be disputed. The US has so many crime drama and court dramas make it hard to argue with someone who is witty and can wriggle out of many situation even with bad logic .

Thata how it works in Japan. They can hold you up to 10 days without saying anything to you, and you have no right to a lawyer or anything. That's why people in Japan are terrified of the police. They can disappear you for 2 weeks from work and you'll get fired for missing so many days and the police can't be sued even if your innocent. And if you complain about the treatment the police department can now sue you for ruining their social standing, even if what you said is true.

@@andrew10022who doesn’t love good ol’ Japan!!!

@@andrew10022 They can hold you for up to 25 days, or 28 in the case of serious violent crimes, it is technically 3 days, 7 days, 7 days, 7 days, with each extension requiring a judge to approve an extension to the investigation. Though you are not formally charged with a crime during this time, they must have a warrant and they do need to explain why you are being arrested, in addition to reading you your rights. You can speak with a lawyer, but there is no requirement for a lawyer to be present during questioning. You do have the right to silence as well. You cannot be fired from your job for being arrested and investigated, technically you can petition the labour board to restore your job if you have been. Keep in mind much of Japan's legal code is based on the American system, but modified over the years. Also important to note, 70% of arrests result in no further action. You can sue the individual who accused you for lost wages, but it is generally true that you cannot sue the police for investigating you.

She was crafted so she can't be anything but cute

New lore. Atlantis had highly advanced bio-engineering science and they used it to genetically combine a shark and an atlantean into a hybrid hyperbeing(Gura's word). She was gestated in a tank and came out fully formed(well, as fully formed as she is now, since she wasn't born conventionally she was never a baby and has always been at her current size). Thus, she was crafted in a laboratory.

@@Tiavals nice bit of fan canon. I like it

Oh god that reminds me of a certain Powerpuff girls meme.

@@Tiavals Hence why she's Atlantis's only survivor.

I see you are a man of cultured taste as well.

Gura ain’t a rat

If that was one of the crimes, they would get her.

Gura: "You can try"

You're not lying if you're not denying, so they can't try to pin that on her. "I never lied once."

its always the cute ditsy ones who are just the most natural gaslighters and can convince you you were the one that's wrong not them. It is great because you never see it coming and at the end of the day you just feel guilt for no logical reason.

That's what happens when you go Charisma and Wisdom highest and drop Itelligence.

i get what you're saying, but i mean isn't this very video also a display of at least cursory knowledge of some academic fields? she's bullshitting, yes, but you still need a fair bit of at least bare-bones know-how to be able to bullshit something as obtuse as judicial matters.

@@JESUSWASAJUGGALO Mm yes, then again Gura's not very typical in the ways that she learns things. She's the type to get randomly curious about a thing and then fall down a rabbit hole, absorbing a ton about it as a result. But then she moves on, this new info just added to the archives of obscure knowledge she collects. And I doubt most of the knowledge she does have was gained via academic means, more out of necessity, curiousity, or intense interest. So she tends to miss the more general knowledge about the basic subjects most people picked up from school. That's usually what you see people call her a "dumb shork" for anyway lol. But I agree, she's not incapable of being smart (her emotional intelligence is very high actually), she's just not smart in the more generally accepted way

We call this, "Street smart." However, I do contest your idea that "Gura isn't just a dumb shork" with the evidence of Kiara's stream when Gura was not able to determine the meaning of "1 to 5" as a grading system. The shork admitted that she understood the grading system of Germany as only 3 numbers... "1, 2, 5" Further evidence states that she indirectly confessed on the said video by saying, "Where are 3 and 4?"

This is an actual strategy police interrogators use when they are desperate for a confession, even if it isn't true

If you think about her age... many things can happen in this long time

This is not Gura's first run-in with the Oozora Police.

That's because unlike Gura, Kobo has a lot of Kuso in her kusogaki, while Gura keeps her kuso levels solidly below her gaki levels

it's simple bro , Gura is like "Aww 🥰" while kobo is like "Eww 🤮"

​@@James-ep2bx nah Gura's shrimps are ride or die, kobo's are well just die I think.

Kobo is like the little sister you bully a lot while gura is the one who you will murder for if anyone makes her cry

Gura is a criminal genius. Kobo is a genius criminal.

Also Gura: *WHERE'S YOUR MOTIVATION~?*

Oh she's extremely dangerous xD she knows she's cute and that can be used for crimes, a looooot of crimes AND she's wat smarter of what she shows

On the TTRPG streams, Gura repeatedly shows that she is actually a low INT, high WIS character.

Gura low on book smart High on street smarts

So you missed that one time she named her Monster Hunter stream "meat spin lol"

Sounds tempting! Imma check them

Ina and Mel too, so yup 4 in total who make it free.

Only the people with sharp teeth escaped the Oozora Pol8ce~

I think deep down, Pekora is afraid of Gura

You don't have to show off in your own home. Only put effort in when showing off to others. In her case that would be her own stream and the stream of others...

@@NeidischAkaNV she's a streamer, she's always showing off to others dumbass

you consider this smart?

@@jarlbalgruuf2415 Smart enough to not go around spamming comments.

@@PhantomSymson94 what does that even mean? My brother in christ this is a singular comment lol