"SUBWAY - Eat Fresh??" - Jim Gaffigan Stand up (Mr.Universe)

Рет қаралды 610,622

4 жыл бұрын

Eat Freshhhhhhhhhh and subscribe for more standup! Evary day at 10am est I will be posting a new video make sure to not miss them!
STAND UP: Beyond The Pale, King Baby, Obsessed, Mr. Universe, Noble Ape, Quality Time
Bath vs Shower • "Showers vs. Baths. Th...
Delivery • "I LOVE DELIVERY" - Ji...
British VS American • "British vs. Americans...
Bacon • "BACON!" - Jim Gaffiga...
Morning People • "I'm not a Morning Per...
Going Out to Dinner • "Going Out to Dinner" ...
I Love Doing Nothing • "I love doing NOTHING....
I’m a Manatee • "I'm a Manatee!!!" - J...
Camping: • "Camping" - Jim Gaffig...
Dog Rescue • "I Rescued a Dog" - Ji...
Fish are disgusting • "Fish are Disgusting, ...
ASIAN AMERICAN • "Asian American" - Jim... ALL NEW MATERIAL
Cake • "CAKE" - Jim Gaffigan ...
I’m Korean • "I'm Korean" - Jim Gaf...
Jesus & The Apostles • "Jesus & The Apostles"...
FLORIDA MAN • Florida Man - Jim Gaff... ALL NEW MATERIAL
Bowling • "Bowling, a sport you ...
Hotel Pools • "Hotel Pools" - Jim Ga...
Fashion • "Fashion" - Jim Gaffig...
Dog Birthday Party • "Dog Birthday Parties"...
Donut Jokes Compilation • "Donuts" - Jim Gaffiga...
Seafood: Insects of the Ocean • "SEAFOOD: INSECTS OF T...
Hot Pocket Compilation • Hot Pocket Compilation...
Museums • "MUSEUMS ARE BORING......
Hiking • "Hiking..." - Jim Gaff...
Whales • "Whales" - Jim Gaffiga...
Appendix & Saw a Bear • "I Had To Have My Appe...
Idiot Abroad • "Idiot Abroad" - Jim G...
Binge Watching • "Binge Watching" - Jim...
Massages & Saunas • "Massages & Saunas" - ...
Horses • "Horses" - Jim Gaffiga...
Seasons • "Seasons" - Jim Gaffig...
Marathons • "Running A Marathon" -...
Fitness Goals • "Fitness Goals" - Jim ...
4 Kids - Home Birth • "4 Kids/ Home Birth" -...
That's McDonald's • "That’s McDonald's!" -...
Hotel Pools • "Hotel Pools" - Jim Ga...
Travel International • JAPAN & CHINA - from N...
Weddings • "Weddings" - Jim Gaffi...
My Wife's Brain Tumor • "My Wife's Brain Tumor...
Shopping for Women's Lingerie • "Shopping For Women's ...
Bars • "Bars Are Adult Playgr...
Stand Up for the Pope + ACTUAL FOOTAGE • Doing stand up for the...
Least favorite Dr Visit • "My Least Favorite Doc...
MERCH
‪All money raised donated to ThelmagineSociety.org to help food insecure teespring.com/stores/jim-gaff...
LETS GET COOKIN' World’s Favorite Quarantine Cooking Show
Toast (EP 1) • "Let's Get Cookin' - T...
Burgers (EP 2) • "Let's Get Cookin' - B...
Pork Sandwich (EP 3) • "Let's Get Cookin' - P...
Hot Dog & Egg (EP 4) • "Let's Get Cookin' - H...
Pizza (EP 5) • "Let's Get Cookin' - H...
Pasta (EP 6) • "Let's Get Cookin' - P...
Cookies (EP 7) • "Let's Get Cookin' - H...
Meatball Parm (EP 8) • "Let's Get Cookin' - M...
Peas & Corn (EP 9) • "Let's Get Cookin' - P...
Mikey Takes over (EP 10) • "Let's Get Cookin' - M...
Oatmeal Soup (EP 11) • "Let's Get Cookin' - O...
Garbage Plate (EP 12) • "Let's Get Cookin' - G...
Chicken Fillet (EP 13) • "Let's Get Cookin' - C...
THE MIKE & PAT SHOW: (the next Pewdiepie or Roblox addicts challenge)
BOLOGNA • Mike and Pat Show: Bol...
DADDY DOG • Mike and Pat Show: The...
HOT POCKETS • My Kids Try/React To T...
SPAGHETTIOS • My Kids Try/React To S...
LIVERWURST • My Kids Try/React To E...
PALE FORCE
EPS 1 & 2 • "Pale Force" - Jim Ga...
EPS 3 & 4 • "WHAT ARE YOU DOING CO...
QUARANTINE LIFE: (Try not to laugh+ CBS SUNDAY)
Welcome to Quarantine • “Greetings from Quaran...
My Kids Ask about Covid-19 • "MY KIDS ASK: About CO...
Quarantine Update 1-3 • "What are you gonna do...
Quarantine Update 4-6 • "The Kids Don't Like Q...
Quarantine Update 7-9 • "When is Quarantine EN...
Quarantine Update 10-12 • "Does this mean I'm st...
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JIM EATS THE WORLD (mukbang asmr local food stand up)
St. Louis Pizza • "St. Louis Pizza" - Ji...
Colombian Breakfast • "Hot Chocolate with Ch...
Kansas City BBQ • "Kansas City BBQ" - Ji...
Spain - Jamon & Churros • "Spain - Jamon, Churro...
Cleveland- Polish Boy • "Cleveland, OH - Polis...
Rochester (NY) - Garbage Plate • "Garbage Plate, Roches...
MY KIDS REACT:
My Kids React to my 1st Stand Up TV Appearance • "MY KIDS REACT: To My ...
My Kids React to my 1st Stand Up Special • "MY KIDS REACT: To My ...
TEXTING WITH JIM
Would you like receive texts from Jim? Text Jim at 646-980-6600
James Christopher Gaffigan is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and producer. He presently has 5 stand up specials on Netflix and 2 on Amazon Prime Video. He wrote 2 New York Times Best Sellers DAD IS FAT and FOOD: A Love Story He co-created and starred in a tv series based on his life called The Jim Gaffigan Show. He has appeared in numerous TV shows and films in both comedic and dramatic roles.

Пікірлер: 718

@lawrencehodge6273 4 жыл бұрын

Only a genius could stand up there for 7 mins and talk about Subway and make it hilarious. Bravo Jim. One of my favorite comedians.

@asahmosskmf4639 3 жыл бұрын

And he always reminds the audience his wife helped out ! ❤

@jamisonmoore3492 3 жыл бұрын

He did almost 10 minutes of nothing but horse jokes. Lol. Genius

@wallfulls2656 3 жыл бұрын

I wount be able to hold a strait faces

@LordQueezle 3 жыл бұрын

I think that's kinda what makes it so funny is he runs with a joke that's funny at first then he stretches it to absurdity to keep it funny. The horse routine is a great example

@Pokemc0831 3 жыл бұрын

Obviously never saw an oddonesout video

@scottlasley4593 4 жыл бұрын

That Brooklyn guy! "Here's 3 slices of ham, get yourself somethin' nice." Haha! Always hilarious, Jim...

@plissken2156 4 жыл бұрын

It's so simple.

@musicandpoetry_8 Жыл бұрын

Lmao yeah that was really funny

@mchief786 4 жыл бұрын

This guy is a comedic genius, who else gets a laugh every 3 seconds? Most comedians gotta build into their big punchline but Jim gets them as if they are nothing. One of the best most underappreciated comedians of all time!

@surveyordave 4 жыл бұрын

Gaffigan is the only comedian I have ever seen who can come up with a topic...and then come up with 25-30 one-liners on that topic. Def a genius.

@loggrad9842 4 жыл бұрын

It's a laugh track

@theranter 4 жыл бұрын

@@loggrad9842 The fact that I, a comedy snob, consistently laugh at his jokes says you're wrong. Jim is definitely an underappreciated comedian.

@TallSilentGuy 3 жыл бұрын

@@loggrad9842 Does the audience know about this?

@laraoneal7284 3 жыл бұрын

Yes absolutely a comic genius. Laugh nonstop from moment 1 to the end.

@christopherlynch3314 4 жыл бұрын

"Oh, that's where I crossed the line?" I almost spit out my coffee!

@Kcali111 4 жыл бұрын

Lol

@LadyVoldemort 4 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@ginatucci201 3 жыл бұрын

Mmmm slurpin tuna water!

@dougiebuckets1364 3 жыл бұрын

I spit out my tuna water 💧

@romantarango1803 4 жыл бұрын

As someone who has worked at Subway, I must say he is completely accurate.

@jujuaurelus 3 жыл бұрын

@Chinedu Atisele same bro 😆

@paleamigo8575 4 жыл бұрын

"In my country I was the Attorney General".😂😂😂

@bmm894 3 жыл бұрын

So true , my buddy was surgeon in India and now owns 5 Dairy Queen’s here .

@archfapper211 3 жыл бұрын

In Japan, I was heart surgeon. Number one

@cg-ny9078 4 жыл бұрын

Jim, I cried laughing at your "silently mind-will" for extra cheese face at 1:46! 🤣🤣😂

@annesweeney5552 4 жыл бұрын

Cause we all do it right! Lol Jim’s the best

@1980maranda 3 жыл бұрын

“You want mayo on that?” Pffffffttttt. “I feel like I’m at Benihana!” Comedy gold.

@jakesaysknee 4 жыл бұрын

“We all like Jared he seems like a good guy” Well THAT didn’t age well.

@areyoufriendly 3 жыл бұрын

When he mentioned kids I thought he was gonna go there.

@mchapman2424 3 жыл бұрын

Haha that really dated this comedy bit

@CameronBrtnik 3 жыл бұрын

do you think Jim actually loved this?? I have a feeling he has someone to do that for him... prove us wrong Jim!

@davidpeabody3429 3 жыл бұрын

Like milk

@Hed_Vase 3 жыл бұрын

5:55 kids know of him for the wrong reasons

@tonybobay6276 4 жыл бұрын

Those Jared jokes aged about as well as this year

@feelingtardy 3 жыл бұрын

about as well as that subway cheese

@floridaman_6079 2 жыл бұрын

Like milk

@GooseGumlizzard 2 жыл бұрын

@@floridaman_6079 original!

@A_Dopamine_Molecule 2 жыл бұрын

Prehistoric milk has aged better...

@Prostarter88 4 жыл бұрын

Soo glad i found this guy. Freakin hilarious. The 51 dislikes must be the subway investors.

@psychedelicfright85 11 ай бұрын

Bad sandwiches.

@glacialcat1362 4 жыл бұрын

One time I was at Subway, and the worker asked if I wanted my sandwich toasted. I said no. Then, the worker went to talk with a coworker. When they came back, the same person asked if I wanted my sandwich toasted, and I said no. They said ok and then they put my sandwich in the toaster oven. I was a little disappointed.

@peateargriffin7593 3 жыл бұрын

Could've been hard of hearing...when I I'm ask a yes or no question I answer while nodding my head in the direction of my answer

@Utoober729 2 жыл бұрын

The roll probably had dirt on it from falling on the floor. Toasted and you couldn't see the dirt.

@wyattE415 2 жыл бұрын

Subway is overrated. You can go to a Jimmy John's, say a number, and they throw your sandwich together swiftly because they each have designated toppings. Boom....simple. When I'm at Subway it feels like I'm too involved in the sandwich-making process.

@donnatate458 2 жыл бұрын

I hope you weren't having the tuna salad sandwich.

@wyattE415 Жыл бұрын

@@stanbrule9357 Someone must because it somehow continues to stay in business. I think you underestimate the amount of fools in the world.

@ahmedharmouche3341 2 жыл бұрын

"I know the kitchen's not back there, cause the kitchen is the toaster oven." Gets me everytime :D

@WendyWilliamsLiving 3 жыл бұрын

"In my country, I was Attorney General... would you like some Santa Fe sauce?" HAAAAAA!!!

@mlamarana 4 жыл бұрын

This is some sick subway burns 🤣🤣

@TheDarthEddie 4 жыл бұрын

Subway: the conspiracy to make Sun Chips seem a lot more successful than they are.

@areyoufriendly 3 жыл бұрын

You should open for Gaffigan.

@jonp4846 3 жыл бұрын

@@areyoufriendly Most of the people in here think they should, it seems ;)

@mattlohr 3 жыл бұрын

The only time I ever eat Sun Chips is at Subway.

@UptownNYC 2 жыл бұрын

@@mattlohr U eat that shit? U actually eat Subway?? 🤮🤮

@HarambetheWhite 3 жыл бұрын

Subway is like a classy version of a hot pocket. You can eat Subway for breakfast, lunch, and be in prison for crimes against children by dinner.

@mrnonsense1031 4 жыл бұрын

0:57 the squeeze bottles always make that sound regardless of how much sauce is in them. 😂

@Moonflowertarot777 4 жыл бұрын

Woke up in an ill mood and immediately made myself watch some Jim stand up. Now I’m laughing. Thanks for being the best comedy medicine 💜

@cleobinx 3 жыл бұрын

I have been doing the same thing lately and it works like a charm !

@Blalack77 3 жыл бұрын

Man, somehow I can watch your material a thousand times and still laugh until I cry every time.

@Butterballsballs 5 ай бұрын

lol same

@Durrpadil 4 жыл бұрын

LOL i love the thumbnail to this 😂😂😂😂

@eponymous_graphics 4 жыл бұрын

that's what made me peep ! thumbs up #13

@Evilkitty64 3 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣" that white puddle of tuna water" 😭 I always thought that I was the only one who found that so disgusting 😂🤣😂

@ppiron6 3 жыл бұрын

Right?!

@vjohnson6464 2 жыл бұрын

I've watched this at least 50 times and still laugh like it's the first time. I'm so glad I found Jim. Thank you for sharing your comedic genius.

@navigator2299 4 жыл бұрын

Me before subway: 🤗 Me during subway: 😐 Me after subway: 🤢😵

@1MinuteFlipDoc 4 жыл бұрын

subway's all right. it's taco bell that spells doom!

@ethanyunker2042 3 жыл бұрын

We all know Jersey Mike’s Subs are better

@MasterHayate 2 жыл бұрын

I spent years trying to think of a way to describe what a Subway smelled like and 'dirty dishwasher' is disgustingly accurate. Bless you, Jim

@PDRIFT86 4 жыл бұрын

"Bring me the broom stick of little caesar" rofl

@yankeeladee02 4 жыл бұрын

Ohhh, is THAT where I crossed the line??? 😂

@jessejames6687 Жыл бұрын

“What kind of triangle of chesse would you want!!” Lmao 🤣

@jasonwilde197 3 жыл бұрын

Jared started AND ended his career trying to get into smaller pants. Yes, I know that's a well worn joke, but it's still funny :-)

@markread7333 3 жыл бұрын

Congrats on having the only "early" comment that Jim probably read and laughed at, but couldn't officially "like" .

@shawn1928 3 жыл бұрын

totally inappropriate, but i still laughed lol

@hotdogrelish 3 жыл бұрын

Took me 3 times reading, but finally...

@janayoung1888 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for keeping us entertained and laughing during the pandemic. I hope you realize how much you're helping people. Keep up the great work, Jim!

@Sophia-we6yh 4 жыл бұрын

These subway jokes hold a special place in my heart.

@majorblitz7219 4 жыл бұрын

Good morning Jim! See you in August! Everyone should!

@hutchsayseatme 3 жыл бұрын

I've been watching multiple Jim Gaffigan clips every day since the quarantine started in March, and I'm not even close to being tired of him. I've been a fan for years, but have never seen so much of his material. Love you, Jim! You're the best. I live in CNY and am thinking about trying to make it to your Wilkes Barre drive-in show in July.

@joeking6309 4 жыл бұрын

Guarantee Jim's next tour wont be sponsored by Subway

@cisium1184 4 жыл бұрын

I think "oh, that's where I crossed the line" is my favorite Jim Gaffigan joke.

@jackharris566 4 жыл бұрын

"......Plastic Air Bag." xD

@Kcali111 4 жыл бұрын

Lol....right outa control

@mrnonsense1031 3 жыл бұрын

Jim: *calls Subway bag an airsickness bag* Me: oooh! No comment. He's just right.

@peggyf344 4 жыл бұрын

Subway.... an underground train... fresh?😂😂😂

@jcarlo1106 4 жыл бұрын

Omg I can't believe I haven't seen this one I died laughing. Jim you're hilarious I don't know how you always manage to make me laugh. You are my favorite comic! Have a bad day? No worries Jim makes it a good day.

@jeffmillward 3 жыл бұрын

Oh my... This guy is FUNNY! I have tears in my eyes! Thank you sir for the laughs!

@johngullo9420 4 жыл бұрын

Subway. Home of the salad sandwich.

@love4music1992 3 жыл бұрын

Every special you have made is pure entertainment and joy.

@sideshowtink 4 жыл бұрын

OMG that was SOOOO funny and so true.

@zephyrjet122 4 жыл бұрын

OMG Jim Gaffigan , I'm so glad you not only mention but also nailed the squeeze bottle fart noise ! 💨

@briansmith8749 3 жыл бұрын

I love that he's clean. I can listen anywhere and not worry about what's going to come out the speaker. When you're clean, and funny, you are "funny".

@savsquared 4 жыл бұрын

Jim, as always, your observations on life are spot on...

@vicawoomar09 2 жыл бұрын

When KZfaq suggests a great video that’s hilarious!😂😂😂 Thanks Mr. Gaffigan

@zippySquirrelface 4 жыл бұрын

Drive-thru Subway is what I remember best from my childhood. In Alaska we had a drive thru subway near the mall. You would order everything you want at the microphone/menu then drive up and pay/pickup your food. I saw a drive thru subway last week in Sisters, Oregon as well!

@erikhensler7 4 жыл бұрын

I love all these. I introduced Jim to my Mom with these videos, now she’s obsessed. No pun intended.

@jamescooper2618 3 жыл бұрын

Jim is one of my three fav comedians of all time!

@EricRoseBahamas 4 жыл бұрын

Always enjoyed this routine. Waving from The Bahamas :)

@KennethSorling 3 жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing these clips with us. You da real MVP!

@fisherdickens 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you! Such fun twisted thinking!

@Kaemea 4 жыл бұрын

So much fun watching anything you and the kids do. 😁 Part of that joy is from the fact that KZfaq has been playing a Hot Pocket ad every time I open one of your videos. I giggle each time. 😂

@judycoulter4556 3 жыл бұрын

Another awesome routine. Thanks Jim.

@jimc.6127 3 жыл бұрын

It's probably the best of many I've watched.

@LisbethAdams 4 жыл бұрын

Jim's new Subway promo with accent: "Why don't you go and get herself something nice...like an unrecognizable cheese slice. Then add a vintage tuna water for some extra spice. Eat Fresh why don't ya?"

@ambagangsta2016h 4 жыл бұрын

Best bit ever! Love ya Jim😋😊

@tvandang3234 3 жыл бұрын

I laughed so hard because I was wondering the same though when the worker went to the back room as well😂

@13musicgl13 2 жыл бұрын

one of my faves!!

@Breckin225 3 жыл бұрын

I love this channel so much I have watched this video like 90 times

@samanthadesalvo3747 3 жыл бұрын

I have listened to this at least 200 times and it is still amazing

@joansnow4013 4 жыл бұрын

I love your stand up!!! Have a great day Jim

@habichiblah7534 3 жыл бұрын

He's really good - never watched much of him before, but this Subway routine is ace!!!

@randybeans1984 2 жыл бұрын

You could literally talk about anything and make it hilarious!

@MrEM-lh9xf 4 жыл бұрын

This is so accurate

@caughtafaygo 4 жыл бұрын

I love the new yorker or whatever accent stuff. Super funny

@RyanPowerhouse 2 жыл бұрын

My god, my face hurts I'm laughing so hard.

@deemariedubois4916 3 жыл бұрын

LMAO. Another great one.

@tandokunogirl 4 жыл бұрын

When Jim started talking about Jared (my whole body...cringed) But then laughed at "Bullshit". Kids are so Saavy :)

@user-rj9uw8qc6m 3 ай бұрын

“You think Jared’s back there?” IM DEAD 😅

@frankm8533 4 жыл бұрын

I asked for extra pickles at a subway last week. I thought the women was going to make me leave the store lol

@elizabethbrink476 3 жыл бұрын

Who knew subway could be such a funny bit? And it went on for a LONG time. All hilarious 😂

@Bb2b75 4 жыл бұрын

Love it Jim. Thanks for the laugh. :)

@dalegribble5661 3 жыл бұрын

LOVE U JIM!!!💞💞💞💞💞

@vadamsable 2 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂😳"Tuna gazpacho!" This was so good.

@dwightseely6919 2 жыл бұрын

I laughed and laughed... thank you

@GerryPicker 4 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂broomstick of Lil Caeser 😂😂😂

@moomilk9441 3 жыл бұрын

Favorite comedian ure so amazing and I love all of the material I have and I didn’t get bored of it after an 8 hour car ride back from Kentucky

@skyak4493 3 жыл бұрын

Jim pushes funny to new levels. I never would have believed that I could laugh so hard that the meatball sandwich I was eating would come out my nose! EEAAT FFREESSSHHH!!!

@Kcali111 4 жыл бұрын

I just love Jim's comedy all of it, especially this one.... Few lines that had me rolling There are mice that wont eat subway cheese.... I can make it at home for .20 or watch this sociopath make it, with that far away look in their eyes. Lol In my country i was attorney general..... And the whole series of tuna jokes was nasty Jim..... Funny but gross..... Big love for laughs to start the day. Thank u.

@Evilkitty64 4 жыл бұрын

Yes☺️ ALL of it, even reading it here has me in stiches 😅

@TheCarlAlfred Жыл бұрын

Such a genius! "Eaaat Freeeeesh." LOL.

@galleryofrogues 3 жыл бұрын

I love this

@JPMJPM 4 жыл бұрын

I love that your comedy never ages. 😊😊😊

@Brian-vn4xb 4 ай бұрын

That line about Jared being a nice guy definitely aged this set by a lot, but it’s still good

@eponymous_graphics 4 жыл бұрын

great clip. gonna search fo' mo'.

@cristea9429 3 жыл бұрын

Brilliant! I am truly LOL 😂 ❤️

@neilopfer5687 3 жыл бұрын

Have eaten at a bunch of Subways over the years and just an outstanding job by Jim Gaffigan for picking up on all the funny things about Subway!! Gaffigan along with Cosby, Carlin, and Chappelle (The Three C's) just one of the funniest of all time!!

@malizee2264 3 жыл бұрын

One of my FAVES! !! especially since they just determined that that bread isn't real bread! Hahaha

@zara_kadian6812 4 жыл бұрын

okiiii cant wait

@kateriaknows 4 жыл бұрын

You’re too good! 🤣😩

@javagirl9374 3 жыл бұрын

Oh my Good God I can hardly take it. Thank you for the belly laughs.

@TracedaBassman 3 жыл бұрын

"Why are you Subway employees always in the bathroom?" "Because they let us eat a Subway sandwich during our lunch break. That's how Jared lost all that weight." Just like eating a Hot Pocket, you know what you will be doing for the rest of the afternoon... Thanks for all the videos during the pandemic, Jim. As you can see below, a few laughs in dark times really helps people. Thank your family for all of us as well.

@paulmarvin86 4 жыл бұрын

Lol... Pretty funny stuff. I love subway!

@markrush5013 4 жыл бұрын

l hope Jared is getting the foot long regularly

@cats-cool398 4 жыл бұрын

Lmao!

@diaz5292 4 жыл бұрын

No, he's living it up! I saw an article about it. He still has millions of dollars and is treated like royalty, and has all kinds of entertainment available to him. He's loving life.

@cleobinx 3 жыл бұрын

@@diaz5292 what! Pedos usually get it BAD in jail

@jacquelinehoward5445 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for posting your stand-ups! I'm enjoying them, your family quarantine videos, and your youngest sons' candid videos (they're adorable & hilarious!). Here are the parts I liked the best: "There are mice that would turn down that cheese!" -talking about how we're too lazy to make a sandwich, then tying it to the Subways with drive-thrus "In my country, I was Attorney General." "Free lettuce?! No way! How do you guys pay the rent?!" "They are so stingy with that nasty-ass meat at Subway." -peeling off meat like it's a wad of $1's (extra funny cuz it's $1's - not $10's, not $20's, not even $5's lol) I laughed so hard at the last two - I'm afraid to try most of Subway's sandwiches because of how the meat looks!