As someone in recovery for multiple addictions, I debated whether to even listen to this episode. I appreciate your approach (though not the dad jokes) and kept repeating my 'go to' verse: "If we confess our sins, God is faithful and just and will forgive us of our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" -- 1 John 1:9. Notice "we", as we are not alone in this and we in this alone.

I've learned that sex can be either extremely selfish or extremely Christlike if we are of a mind to serve our spouse by giving them the pleasure they were created to receive and not always focusing on ourselves. Sex can be viewed from both ends of the spectrum but in following Christ we want to be headed toward the serving one another end rather than the self serving end. I agree that what is in our minds at the time also determines our standing before God in whether we are exercising our physical selves in righteousness or unrighteousness. It's a fine line but well worth being aware of and practiced in.

"Sex is meant for you to connect with your spouse. It is meant to bring you closer together, physically, emotionally and spiritually". I agree 100%. Thank you for sharing. It is MUCH appreciated xxx

As a Christian, I was VERY HESITANT to watch/hear this, so i read the transcript.. i was able to back-track and process at a slower speed. This is very good. I have struggled with some parts of this - not pornography, but the physical need & lack of emotional satisfaction, trying to find it for myself "for the moment", yes, but, as you said, no lasting heart, emotion or soul connection and thats what i craved more than anything else. God helped me remember that, when i would start to drift back into that pattern, but eventually i was able stay away. I am glad He helped me get away from it. 😊💗🙏🏼

Good presentation. Sex need to be stop being used as a weapon by partners against each other.

This is a tough topic to talk about, but I think you both explained the boundaries very well as to what is ok and not ok. Thank you.

My wife and I are Christian’s and yes I do help my wife out with her Masturbating. It’s a beautiful thing to share each other’s bodies the way two people do in a marriage.we’ve been married over 31 year’s . Thank you for these amazing vedio’s. I actually just found you

I'm so late to the table, yet I must Thank You, thank you, THANK YOU Two for your willingness to openly engage in this subject matter. SEX!! It is such a blessed gift from God and humanity takes beauty and tarnishes it so easily and quickly. Bringing one another to orgasm and satisfaction can happen with any touching and fondling. The key is together. And as a believer it's husband and wife. Talking, sharing and understanding is tantamount as well as being honest, transparent AND accountable to one another! The church has no right policing the marital bedroom outside of sexual sin. I'll say it again... honest, open accountability is tantamount.

Thank you for your courage in addressing such a sensitive topic. Many teenagers, need to know these answers as well as it is confusing for them and not talked about . Thank you

You guys are so courageous to handle these subjects. Thank you for tackling all of this from a godly, biblical perspective. Great post!

Thank you for addressing a important topic in a balanced way. I would like to add two scenarios you didn’t really touch on. First, when one spouse is for whatever reason rejecting sexual intimacy. As you say, masturbation is not ideal, but the fact is The spouse who wants sexual intimacy and is being deprived of that intimacy only has so many legitimate options, and I would suggest masturbation is one of them, as long as the focus is on the spouse, rather than pornography or other fantasizing. The second issue is medical in nature. I cannot speak for women, but a large percentage of older men deal with ED, and the aftermath of a prostatectomy, either one of which can make normal intercourse impossible. Often, women who welcome a normal sexual relationship with their husbands, cannot emotionally deal with the extra measures needed to make sexual intimacy possible within these limitations. And yet many men with ED can have an orgasm without an erection, and masturbation is usually the only way to do so. It’s a complex topic, and I would agree with you that the scriptures do not prohibit masturbation, probably intentionally, knowing that there are circumstances that make it a necessary stopgap measure.

Ashley answered all the questions when she said sex was created for marriage and to draw a married couple together. Anything outside of that is not okay. Humans have appetites for many things and they all need to be brought under the lordship of Jesus. It is a process and if addiction is involved, which is often the case, then deliverance ministry, counseling, accountability, and mentoring are necessary. My heart breaks for anyone trapped and I pray they confess to a trusted friend or pastor and get help. Don't give up, freedom is possible.

Loved the jokes!!😂 As a Christian wife and mom, I struggled with porn and masturbation for years; most of it was led because of the many years I was molested as a child. BUT GOD will fill the void- we have to consciously follow Holy Spirit and be aware of the emotional contributions that lead us to leave ourselves feeling guilty, the hurt impressed upon our spouses, and the sadness it brings to our heavenly dad. Freedom is our portion but we must consistently submit and obey(position ourselves). ❤❤❤Love you both🫶🏾🫶🏾🙏🏾

Thank you guys for being so very transparent and open on this subject.

Too many folks here aren't thinking practically and have, clearly, never been in these situations. Trust me, when you have a strong libido and you're suddenly deprived by tragedy, or other unfortunate circumstances, you'll feel it. Is it a temptation to overcome? Yes, but even Paul pleaded with the Lord to take the thorn away.

This is such a great topic. I wanted to share an insight that was given to me by friends. They are Messianic Jewish believers, and so by the general practice of their denomination let’s call it, they still practice a lot of the 613 commandments (by choice and with joy)in the Old Testament. One section of that talks about a man not having sex with a woman during her period etc. The gentleman, in this couple, actually has begun the practice of purposefully spending those days emotionally pouring into his wife and developing emotional, friendship, and spiritual intimacy, on the days where they don’t sleep together. So, in a scenario where we have people that have to be apart for a time, and I do genuinely believe it’s healthy not to have sex while menstruating, we can learn to die to self, by pouring life into our significant other.. and by “fasting” from earthly pleasure and submitting our body(flesh tent that houses our Spirit), we can strengthen our personal intimacy with God too! In terms of people that have separation to do things like deployment or a spouse with illness, you guys have proposed excellent solutions. As long as it’s not about self, and your excitement and pleasure comes from your spouse, let the marriage bed be undefiled. To those who are pure all things will be pure

Quality here - you guys did it again! Thank you.

I could have used some suggestions considering my wife has been held captive by a small cultish Church keeping us apart in a no-contact separation for almost four years. Her libido was diminishing even when I was living at home and she chose regularly to mention this wolf in sheep's clothing in our bedroom at night when we should have been focusing on each other. Thank you so much for any help you can give. I understand this is not an isolated problem and small unaccountable churches with the misuse of power. Lonely and heartbroken

I will be honest in saying that I have been in these situations many times before as far as self gratification through Masturbation due to not having much sex with my spouse like we once used to before we got to being married. It is frustrating and make me think a lot about what has changed and why the quantity decreased. We have agreed to not indulge during her period however working and going through the journey of being married, dealing with a lot of other things, can cause the intimacy to drop off and have disconnect somehow

Bible says do not exchange what God made to be holy with unnatural desires and things. Holy Spirit inside of every believer is greater than satan that is in the world who has access to fallen flesh. When we believed in Jesus and our spirit is one with Jesus and there is no sin that part. But our body and mind are not saved . That is why we must yield to His Holy Spirit and He will help you to walk in self control as you yield even when your flesh desire for wrong sexual desire. God hates adultery and sensuality. Walking in the spirit will help any person to overcome masturbation. It starts in the mind that is set on the flesh. So train to set your mind on God will help you walk in the desires of God and God will give you a good marriage as we obey. Let every Christian be a model for the unbeliever and carnal Christians . For nothing is impossible for God. There is no excuse for our wrong understanding and wrong doing.

Isn’t one of the fruit of the spirit, SELF CONTROL? Gal. 5:22-23 We are OVERCOMERS too! Rev. 12:11 🙏🔥

How about as a widower, who’s wife has died, is it okay to masturbate?

Spouse’s lifelong porno addiction ended our 26 year marriage despite the many attempts he made to attend Christian recovery groups. I love him and continue to pray for this stronghold to break off of him. He struggles with emotional intimacy as well.

Great discussion and perspective. Thanks.

Masturbation is a gateway sin. It opens the door to sexual perversion. No one should partake in it married or not. It’s important to have the Holy Ghost and receive divine understanding of these matters.

I think from my personal experience the difference In Shame vs conviction with anything not just sexual, with the Holy Spirit is REFUSING to repent. Not even failed attempted repentance but avoiding it. Being accountable is so important and loving through that accountability is freedom!!

Perfectly normal. This topic is more about religious beliefs than sex, as people try to push their way of thinking on others

I've been married for almost 5yrs and since we the 1st day of marriage our sex life has decreased tremendously. Before marriage we had some very good sex and she used to love it and want it at least 3 - 5 times a week. She was also heavier but since loosing weight and after saying I DO it feels like I'm in a sexless marriage. I've been saying something for over 4yrs and no change. I've tried various things but she's not involved. I'm feeling rejected as well as dejected by my wife and I've communicated that to her and still nothing. I have thought about getting a divorce because I don't want to be with someone that's not all in this marriage. It seems like as long as I'm supplying her with the material things she wants she's fine while on the sideline suffering.

Sometimes we just have to name things as they are! Either right or wrong. The Bible as the GOD inspired word teaches us that we can be led by the Spirit or be carnal, meaning after the flesh. To be led by the Spirit though we need to be filled with the HOLY SPIRIT first and than we receive power to resist the lusts of the flesh. The fact that the Bible doesn't mention masturbation doesn't legalize it. Living a life as a JESUS Followers hould be denying ourselves and taking our cross daily to follow HIM! Married couples need to be open and serve each other according to their needs and selfish behavior needs to decrease here. Addiction is complicated of course but JESUS paid the price for our freedom on the cross ✝️ But in general we would need to ask ourselves sometimes WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?

Have you dealt with both spouses being unfaithful? One has an addiction and denied their spouse and the other spouse had an affair

What about if husband had died?

I’ve struggled with alot of depression since I lost most of my vision from my optic nerve vision. . All I have now is prefer

IE any sex alone or otherwise outside of a marriage between one woman and one man is sin and destructive, HUGE! Scripture is very clear, study it!

What happens when your husband have an affair on you and now the sexual intimacy is not like it use to? What do a wife do?

Is it okay if I masterbate while in a separation with my spouse? We are on the path to start reconciling but I have a high libido.

Me and my wife are freaks in the bedroom. We get crazy. I struggle because how is a man supposed to learn how to please his wife? We are not born masters of the bedroom. How are we supposed to learn all the different ways to please, our spouse and continue learning new things. Are we supposed to do the same thing the same way Forever.

Great information ❤🙏🏽

AMEN Wow Connection!! 👏🏾👏🏾

Hands on episode🤣

What about having been married for 38 years, then divorced? After being so used to having sex with your spouse anytime, and now it ends? I’ve been divorced for 5 years. I intend to remain single, or even date. I’m happy with my life now, but my ex-husband and I had a very active sex life with each other. I’ve tried to abstain, and it’s not frequent, but still, it can be a struggle

Listen to Exodus 90, Matt Fradd, Jason Evert/The Chastity Project, Christopher West/Theology of the Body

I understand the concept but how does that apply when Your SO doesnt have the patience or desire to help one reach that peak?

Great video

I love you guys for opening this real message. Yes it’s is good until if you are not going outside also in consent to each other in marriage not before marriage

Shared keep doing it y’all are great thank you 🙏 God bless 🙏

Thumbs up for the dad jokes starting at 2:20!

Me personally, I don't believe that masturbation is good for anyone, especially a husband or a wife. For one thing you are touching yourself to make yourself feel good, and I don't believe that is right. Pornography has destroyed so many marriages and families. Masturbation is a big part of pornography and it doesn't belong in a marriage. Husbands and wives should please one another, but masterbation, you are pleasing yourself. Spouse's are to work together, and communicate about anything and everything. Doing marriage God's way as a husband and a wife is the Right way.

Interesting insights. Thank you for sharing. Video welldone🙂👍

Love it so much

Great Video

God could have easily made our bodies in a way that it takes two people to create an orgasm but He didn't. It's sad to see many comments by those who are single or divorced thinking they cannot pleasure themselves. Looking back in history we've gone from couples getting married in their early teens, and God giving David additional wives (2 Sam. 12:8) to teaching single Christians that self-pleasure is a sin. And now we are encouraging our youth not to get married until at least 24-28 and also telling them it's a sin to masturbate.... give me a break! God designed us so we can enjoy sexual pleasure whether single or married, young or old. Hormones and the build up of semen is a reality, are you telling me a man who chooses singleness like Paul endorsed is supposed to go his whole life without masturbation? That's not reality. The awareness of self pleasure happens at an age prior to even knowing what sex is for most in pre-adolescence. Now just like money, alcohol, sex within marriage, and other aspects of life there are ways to abuse or misuse a gift which comes from above. Folks we are navigating life in a fallen world, ideally it would be nice to get married at 15 and not have other temptations but that's not the world we live in. Ideally we shouldnt put anything unhealthy in our mouths (like sugar) and should only be preaching the gospel and not watching TV right? The amount of shame and guilt this type of teaching puts on people is so destructive. As Christians we can take things to extremes so easily, its a shame we don't teach a healthier view on masturbation that obviously does not include porn.

Thanks

"Not having sex for a long time will bring you closer in the end." What a joke. Trust me, being turned away all the time does make the lousy sex I only get once in awhile any better.

I appreciate your views

Masturbation is a sin. One of the fruit of the spirit is self - control.

GOD Is so good. Timely message.

What about if your spouse doesn't want to use something to sustain an erection? And I get no sex?

Great information

So many Christians are trying to include Jesus but it's not pure gospel. It's not that complicated. "Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength." For a while I honestly believed I needed some kind of gratification or release but by God's grace He showed me that was not His way. A lot of marital and personal problems come down to a lack of knowledge and or divided loyalty. Making spiritual help contingent on money is not Jesus' example. Ministries and church structures are full of men playing God-like roles because of divided loyalty and selfish ambitions. I've had my share of failures but I'm in my mid-40s a virgin and abstinate. I cringe at some of the "Christian" conversations and the lack of vision and purpose. A lot of people struggle because of poor examples to follow and pressure to conform. "But seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you." Too many man-made Church structures and Ministries have a divided loyalty between God and money and people are separated from God and fall into addictions because of it. Leaving the man-made Church structure has been huge in my mental and spiritual health. The witchcraft is real in what many believe is healthy for a christian. Jesus said "my yoke is easy and my burden is lite". I found that to be true after leaving the oppressive man-made laws and surrendering to "the Law of the Spirit of Life in Christ Jesus". God Bless.

I really appreciate you trying to tackle this issue. The church has failed miserably talking about sex. There’s a whole book dedicated to sexual pleasure in our Holy Bible. Yet the church doesn’t teach about sex. Maybe that’s why the two of you were so uneasy. Try talking about the issues before you come out and share your beliefs. When you are comfortable talking your audience will receive you much better. It was painful listening to the young women talking. You should always educate yourself on the subject so you don’t choke when you start talking. It makes you come off as a women who doesn’t know what she’s talking about. You’ve been given a platform stop with the church talk and be real…

I struggled with some prono . It’s been driving me crazy.i have such high sexual drive with my wife.then my wife does me

Masturbation is a sin ! Even if you think about your wife. Your body is not yours but your wifes and vice versa. If your job keeps you away from your spouse you’re in the wrong place! Your first Job starts at home! Anyone who hears this ask God before anything ! He will lead your intimate life .

In instances where a married couple cannot have intercourse, there are ways to SERVE 1 another to satisfy the need. Masterbation shouldn't be needed.

Go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Jesus wants to heal us.

Just give it a rest. We’re not animals and sex is not the most important thing on the planet. I’m speaking to men. Don’t be so selfish when your wife is pregnant. It’s not all about you. Direct your mind in other directions. No one died for lack of an orgasm. Then when you are intimate with your wife it will be that much better..

Idk. I feel like if you're ready to jump back to it after having a baby, you're not doing enough. You should be exhausted too!