Right 👍

Sometimes when they are talking bad about other people, they really are talking about you!! You don't know it but your brain does 😮

You take good notes!

❤

So you met my wife

😥😥😥

You describe my Narc Dad

Sadistic

In the movie of " Our lady of Fatima " 3 children saw the virgin Mary in their hometown and no one believed them. Mary told them to see the Monsieur and tell him the definition of a sinner is " one who loves evil ". So true.

A teen recently told his father “mom says things about you, but I don’t believe her”. His mom is a narc and when he was younger he would fall for her tricks and pick on the father because she spoke badly about him.

Very well said. Discard, no contact or grey rock them. Such people are evil.

It's so liberating once you get that kind of perspective, Aaron!

Oh yes! It just happened to me today while picking our Christmas tree! Oh brother! It’s like seeing the banana peel and still slipping on it. The whole set up so I get out of the truck frazzled no longer care what I look like or sound like I’m just feeling nuts! Then the pay off for the narcissist. “ I wish you hadn’t caused such a scene”

I think i know what you’re talking about, Aaron. My mum would bait me on the phone so that my dad would only hear her side of the conversation. She would do the whole “gasp, who? me?” thing to make it sound like i was attacking her. Lesson learned- no more phone calls unless i had a witness on my part.

@@luffypupperstien2706 Or them even going to the extreme of painting the floor yellow (with a few touches of brown) to hide that banana peel. And then causing your path to cross EXACTLY where that peel is, while they stand in a place where they can observe (and enjoy) everything.

@@AlwaysStampinVideos Yeah. You DO know what I'm talking about. I'd expect many here do as well, with a vast array of examples that were personalized just for them.

Bonnie, I've come to this conclusion as well. It's almost mindblowing... How can this be...they are everywhere

I know! I found one who was such a puzzle that I put her “symptoms” in google and here we are. And then I discovered that there was another but more low key. Both do damaging things and everything is always about them. And then remembered some coworkers from a while back, wow. Most of them are surrounding my empath friend though. I tend to ward them off more because I have healthier boundaries. Only thing is I had to learn to not feel guilty when I had to say no and I feel badly for hurting people’s feelings even years later. Amazing how narcs always say no, even to kind small things for others - they must take more than they give, and if they can give zero, they do.

Yeah I'm staying single forever after my last relationship with 1. Focus on my purpose and become a better human along the way

🙏🏾

I was about to marry my narc. But for some reason I did not feel comfortable about it there was a great deal I would have to give up to be able to marry him. I can not put into words how grateful I am that Jesus Christ and Jehovah God kept me from moving forward with it. He the narc even bought land and had a house built on it. But I just couldn't do it. I should have been happy but I had feelings of doubt about it all the feelings I had was feelings I did not like. They made me feel like I didn't like I myself and I knew it was not right I had never had those feelings before not ever in my life. So I let go of him no contact at all. Once again I thank Jesus that I found out that he is a narc before I went thrrough with it. And yes I do feel like I doged a bullet and I am so grateful for it. Blessings to you all. Jesus said ask and it will be given unto you. I asked and was granted what I asked for. Amen & Amen.

Awe very brave. You are helping many people with this comment. Our niece had to cancel her wedding & it was her best idea! She's saved herself year's of strife. xoo 🙋

When anyone who is about to marry if for any reason you don't feel right in your sprit don't try to force it even if you are at the alter on the day of your wedding DON'T do it. When I had those bad feelings about getting married to my narc it felt like I was given a warning At first I didn't understand why I was feeling this way I should have been happy right. There was no happiness what I felt was dread and fear and I just ciuld not do it. I felt all these feelings in my sprit and I had to let go of him. All that I had gone through with him for 20 years + seems like everything became clear as day. So I will say if things doesn't not feel right

If it doesn't feel right don't do it no matter how much you are in love with him/ her Sure it will hurt but I feel Jesus can see down the road far ahead of us and he protected me from what would come if I did what I wanted to do. I thank Him everyday for giving me the strength to move on. No contact at all from me toward the narc.

Facts. When I saw I was giving more, I realized the relationship was costing me too much. Emotional, spiritual, physical, and mental pain isn't worth it.

Goes with the territory of feeling superior !

Such pain is very difficult, but I hope you can adjust and keep moving forward. Thanks for sharing this, BK.

Sending you respect and strength.....I am sorry about your son.....take care......

@@Manipura__ God bless you and healing frequencies? Please cut this bs. Thanks.

So sorry for your loss. Losing a child is devastating. Prayers God continues to give you comfort in the dark days. The compounded effect of dealing with a narcissist is a huge cross to bare. Peace and blessings to you. 🤗

@@Manipura__ Whatever someone else may think of your comment, please be assured that I look at intent. You were being kind and offering information regarding something I might find helpful. I appreciate those kinds of people. Trolls and someone who feels the need to be hateful on a comment board dealing with deep pain, not so much. Thank you for caring and I wish you the very best.

Yes, they’re very charming until they can’t get anything from you.

People who have never experienced a narcissist will never understand.

They put on false self that you like until they can drop the act.Then it's just manipulation and lies.

I had to pay for EVERYTHING. I DISCARDED HIM 11.5 YEARS AGO. Gaslit is another story. I picked up on it.

@@AnnieGrace777 HOW TRUE!

True! I feel very calm and peaceful!

Amen very peaceful without them feel like you can live a better life when they are not around!! Life is so much better

Exactly.... absolute peace

Yes it's peaceful when you are not with the narc. Wherever they are will be friction because they get fuel from conflict and chaos. Otherwise they're bored. They create drama to get supply. Therefore they will always create to get their fix. The only peace is away from them. You will always be incompatible. They want disruption & chaos to get fuel. You want peace. It's an unfixable incompatibility.

A peace that surpasses all understanding.

What did you mean by double down... I am from Morocco and English is not my primary language... Thanks

@@rwdchannel2901 Yes thanks... I agree with it .. They tend to make it as a form of psychological torture

Not only the feeling of being the monarch it genuinely is the life! As they sit on a Throne with their goblet and feast. Well you do all the Slave work required to live. Have no free time or interest of your own. As their person VIP Slave, your told what to do and how to do it. And it’s never enough! As it’s the notion that you should be proud to serve their ever whim, just to be in their great presents. That is payment alone.

My boyfriend is a narcissist and tries to gaslight me thinking I'm not on to what he is doing. I'm looking for my own place because I'm exhausted having to deal with his narcissistic behavior. I always listen to him when he has problems but when I tell him about mine or how I feel, he says I'm always crying about stuff. He always leaves dirty dishes in the sink and when I wash them then go do something he will go make more and when I complain that I just finished washing dishes he doesn't understand why I'm mad and tells me it's my job to wash them. If I just leave the dirty dishes to see if he will wash them, I will go in the kitchen and see that they are still there. He will ask why I haven't washed them. I'm so done dealing with him.

@@theresaduvall6857 Narcissists will try to compete with you all the time. That's apart of the reason they like to disagree with you on almost everything. That and its reactive abuse because the narcissist is looking for your emotional reaction to feel in control of you seeing you are expressing a need for the narcissist's validation. The narcissist will be very passive aggressive too such as seeing you just finished the dishes then making more dirty dishes just to upset you. Those are the things to look for in a toxic narcissistic person: Envy of you, passive aggressive behavior, disagreeable on nearly everything you say and competing with you all the time. Run away if you can from him and save your sanity.

They can be relentless. So true...Stay strong

Narcs don't think you have any right to be more of a victim than they are.

Yes they love to break people as it makes them feel strong. Very sick! Blessings to you❤

Absolutely Golden Dolphin

Then they say “get your shit together or don’t talk to me,”

My husband does that all the time, too. I tell him I’m happy I’m sensitive to others, and that he’s extremely insensitive.

My mother would describe me as "touchy" when I spoke up for myself.

@@elaineknox1023 Yes Elaine ! I’ve heard that too from mine.

My narcissistic friend did this. Posted laughing emojis when I told her how shockingly rude she has been to me.

@@elaineknox1023 Yup touchy. " Okay I will swallow my words from now on if that's what it takes to have some peace "

That's exactl how I feel

AMEN AMEN!!

I read your post and I am floored how accurate you are. It's like you wrote a book about the last 18 months of my relationship with a narc. To know someone out there experienced a horrific process, brings me comfort. I'm grateful to have found your post. As sad as this sounds, I'm grateful for my relationship with my ex ( for many reasons ) but sad it ended so horribly. I wish these type of people weren't so selfish but they are.

@@clintonnagy1662 you’re very welcome for my post you stumbled across. I hope you have or will experience happiness now your relationship with your ex has ended. You seem as though you know a lot about Narcs anyway, but thank you for reading it and thank you for your time and effort you put in by replying to me personally and while doing so - being open and honest. Take care!

@@LAB-LE3 I've dealt with many narcs in relationships. It seems that's all I attract but this last one really hurt me the worst. She seemed so nice and authentic. I was wrong. She just had different manipulation tactics I never dealt with so it through me off. Eventually I saw the pattern and solved the puzzle. She underestimated me. I still can't believe she is sick individual but I see her now for what she is.

Same!

Yes it is. I confirm. Thank you for sharing. Stay Strong.

Oh yeah. The malignant narcissist who screwed me was exactly like that. When I brought up the issue with him so he can take some accountability, he said it’s been 8 years. Total mindfuck.

I believe youre right. She was only happy when I was 8 inches deep in her....very interesting.

High-five there!

Yes!!

Learning the undertow of how these people these narcissists are... You have different communication with them and you know what to expect that way you can stay on top with peace dignity and respect in other words you don't need their approval for anything from them.. you may never teach them how to be different just don't get caught up and being like them on team healthy you are very special person 🤗

@@vickiparsons5698 you're still a fool

Been married 28 years to one. Still married.

@@reneebishop2880 ? You developing an exit plan?

Me too

How could you people stay married to them for so many years? That requires mental strength. I could not be around one for a few years before developing mental health issues.

Sometimes, it's best to take things slow.

⁠@@clintonnagy1662it’s best to take things very slow even.

Or once you've figured them out, you think back to little things they said or did a while back, that at the time you thought nothing of, then all of sudden the more you see or hear, you start to piece it all together, all of sudden it all makes sense.

Yes.. it's like once you see it you can't un-see it!

​@@jodizellmer994 You got that right! I can see clearly now and I don't take anything from these types of people!!

Well said , yes yes!

Always. If you try, one of the things they coud do is start projecting and by the time they’re over it’s you who has issues

@@leonab545 blame shifting is such an art form for them. Blows my mind they can live with themselves, but that's the sickness. Run!!

Often with "after everything I done for you, you dare to criticise me?"

When you do call them out on their BS, the narc screams, "don't go there!!!" In the next breath, the narc screams 'Why can't WE discuss this like adults!???"🙄🙄🙄🙄

Depends what narc you are dealing with actually some narcs my get quite aggressive If you try to call them out.

Only think of how they could use you

If he wrote: "I don't have any in exchange for you anymore", is that him outing himself? Right? And then he blocked me and my husband. It hurt, because we only wanted to be friends.

Yet a non narc would never do that, wishing to avoid, at all cost, the explosion sure to ensue.

Thankyou for sharing! This is one of the greatest elephants in the room. Children are tortured and forced to carry the burden of adults who could care less and have no remorse. I wish every child victim would expose the truth. Turns out the big bad cockroaches are afraid of the light. I hope you treat yourself like the diamond you are! Don't let another parasite near your beautiful diamonds.

I was abused by my stepfather and I see how that shaped my relationships as well. So sorry for what you went through, it's a tough journey.

Very sorry to hear about that. ;(

Every blessing to you, Gregory. G Ire

Well I’m glad u can talk about your trauma that’s a Goid sign that you are healing. I’m also happy that you escaped the Ex and still are young enough and wise enough to try to have a good life going forward

women like bad boys, so no surprise that they end up in situations like you

I’m sorry about that. That’s tough. That’s the point of a husband and family but I guess to some, it’s just an accessory. I do hope you’re happy now. ❤

I went through it. Only my narcissistic former friend was a lady. Everything in this video describes my her. I've talked about her in other comments. I'll refer to her as “Molly.” She definitely played me. I saw the warning signs early on even when she tried claimed that the people who had problems with her it was all a case of “misunderstanding” or people “not getting where she was coming from.” I should have trusted my gut instinct because I had a very uneasy feeling even in the beginning. Instead, I made the mistake of asking why she was always at the center of conflict and that everyone else around her can't be that dumb that they can't see the forest for the trees, essentially. Boy oh boy, did that lead to a blowout fight. Everything you covered from only being friendly when she was grooming someone who had a resource she wanted to exploit, always believed she was entitled to be the center of attention and had to be in charge even if she didn't know what the heck she was doing (which was quite often), playing games with the truth or telling half truth or flat out lies, to minimizing her faults and metastasizing her positives (which were very few), slandering and libeling me behind my back to her flying monkeys (all of whom later on abandoned her) and anyone who would listen, total willingness to smack talk people to me airing out all of their dirty laundry which I later learned she was doing the same thing behind my back, having circular conversations in which she always tried to shift the focus back to her or turning back at me if I tried to hold her accountable for her atrocious behavior. This comes back to the whole telling half truths and absolute lies part. Molly even lied about having been abused by her older brother when she was a little girl, that her stepmom had beaten her and broken her jaw, that her one-time boyfriend that she had after her first marriage crumbled had abused and kicked her out miles away from family with nowhere to go and that she had had cancer. All of it was a lie. It was confirmed by one of her older sisters who I wrote on social media who said and I quote: “She's been a liar since she could talk!” completely incapable of discussing conflict like a rational adult (she was in her 40s when I met her and in her early '50s when I cut contact), I felt more like I was dealing with up temperamental adolescent middle school student, prone to temper tantrums and irrational rage whenever she didn't get her way. And as far as grooming someone to take my place, she did. She pitted me against a very dear friend of mine and did projection. It succeeded and we didn't talk for a long while. We reconnected a few years ago and I was fortunately able to wake him up to what a toxic waste of space Molly is. He has also since gone no contact. Before doing so, he gave me an update on the dumpster fire that is Molly's life: her severely neglected son and daughter are now grown and have little if anything to do with her. Her daughter is a divorced single mother (I'll let you guess who contributed to Molly's daughter's marriage failing), her son got kicked out of the Navy for attacking a girl and saved himself from being court-martialed by faking a suicide attempt, Molly's marriage is on the rocks and she is now the around the clock caregiver for her husband's spiteful elderly mother-in-law. To say there is no love lost between these two women would be a gross understatement. Mother-in-law hates Molly's guts. It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that Molly baby trapped mother-in-law's son into marriage by claiming she was infertile or that Molly turned mother-in-law's grandson into a spoiled, entitled overgrown manchild completely incapable of functioning in the real world. Could it?

@@iononcantomascrivo She was an extreme narcissist and possibly a psychopath! A lot of narcissist are in fact non violent psychopaths.

​@@williamdillard8330I think so too. I have met other people who have had run-ins with her and they said and I quote “she's a crazy b¡tch” or “f*cking psycho!” I don't worry about retaliation because she would be extremely dumb to try to contact me because I have way too much dirt on her. Then again, she hasn't exactly demonstrated that she has good judgment. So anything is possible.

If you don't mind could you share more about your experience with this person ? Stories about narcissistic friends are hard to come by ,it's always the parent or the spouse.

@@Trollika_Devi Sure. Ask away.

Keep going with Dr. Carter's videos. Watch the one on PTSD, especially. Most of us struggle with unending anger and are plagued by volumes of bad memories that keep opening up that pit of anger once again - the evidence of the PTSD we all developed due to years of struggling to survive a narcissist's abuse. Keep going, and get help from Dr. Carter individually if possible. Your exit from that relationship was the best possible start toward something new and better. Keep going forward.

@@susansheldon2707 This was a really helpful reminder of what we need to do to get over this. I too am now dealing with bad sleep patterns, nightmares and grief even though I'm grateful I'm out of the marriage. I never had sleep problems or nightmares before now.

I let my (ex) husband (definitely a narcissist) live in my head rent free for 4 years after the divorce. Then I realized it, and found the strength to say to people "He was a wife beater". It was then I was able to get him out of my head and let go of what I allowed him to do. Taking responsibility for my (tiny) piece made the difference for me. I knew something was not right, but kept accepting it. Yes, it was him manipulating / gaslighting / all of those, and I was the "victim" of it..but I knew at 5 years and stayed 3 more. That's on me. I moved him out of my head and then I could heal. Everyone has a different path. That was mine.

I spent 4 years after the divorce being angry at how he treated me. Then I realized I was letting him still ruin my life by letting him live rent free in my head. I took a deep breath and started to add my own internal voice. If something went wrong, I learned to just accept that things go wrong. If something went well, I gave myself a pat on the back. At some point, I evicted him from my head and remembered how to love myself. It sounds silly, but giving yourself positivity in your own head...it helps.

Yes it's a total mindfuck

True. Immature manipulative bullies would be more accurate.

Just remember who you're talking to so you don't get caught up! I'm watching Dr Carter learning how to communicate differently so you don't get caught up in trapped with their intrusiveness and you know not to argue with these people because it doesn't do you any good 😆 you know where they're coming from now so even if you need their help cuz you know what they can do and even if you care about them. just remember who you're talking to.. with Dr Carter knowledge is power you can still maintain your peace just keep it real 🤗

@@vickiparsons5698 great comment . God Bless !

They won't believe us. They're glad it's not them!

They’re horrible.

Yep. Sick people.

My neighbour is a narc and copies everything I do. I ran for the hills when I figured out how manipulative she was.

I love that show! 😀

My neighbour comes over to bitch about other neighbours. Then she goes to their place to talk about me. I laugh it off mostly but it's sickening when u think about it. I feel bad for her kids but now they're just like her. Also she probes and probes forever but wouldn't share anything about her.

Yes...those who speak about others to you....always speak about you to others. Every time.

Very hard to forget such an angry person!

It takes a lot of time. Please give yourself grace. This was told to me and it so true. You are a warrior! Don’t forget it.

Did you ever try to figure out it’s not you and it’s them. Hope you’re doing well.

sounds like me

Yes, this makes me calmer in some way. It is me sitting here searching for answers and being confused after it all. They seem just fine... I am so confused. Am in meds and am about to talk to someone.

I’ve discovered it’s not the conflict. It’s the criticism. Anything you bring up, they receive it as criticism and can’t take it. Total core meltdown follows. Then stonewalling, silence after dump, then weaseling back in after a time as if nothing happened. At least in my mom’s case.

One of them it was impossible to discuss anything, apart from good morning or hello. Anything more would go straight into misogynistic, patronizing, denigrating from 1% to 100% until I finally learned at 14 that a rational and respectful conversation was totally impossible. Since then even under full responsible adult supervision it got up to 5% but then I’d cut it off. Until 2 yrs ago during a family tragedy he went straight into the 100% level each and every time coz I was now face to face near him, and around people. Early onset dementia makes the narcissist more decrepit in thought word and deed. The only solution was cutting all contact unless in written form. But since his undiagnosed Parkinson’s makes his hands shake so much - he won’t make any attempt to type any communication in writing coz that will expose his ‘true ugly’ if he types the way he has always spoken to me. Silence is golden ✌️

That pretty much summarizes it, Patty.

Absolutely 💯 👍

Oh Hahaha, so true.

@@SurvivingNarcissism toward the end of my allowing him to come into my home, I got to where I didnt even hear him anymore. I just let his voice automatically go to the background and would have to ask him to repeat himself more and more often. I was annoyed at how he would come over with the same ole sorry excuses - and expect me to believe him - and I would just block his voice out. all I could ever hear is REO - Turn Some Pages. over and over and over. when his mouth started moving I heard REO! and I was really, really tired of the same old story. Not just from him - he was just the straw. it was my whole life and I still hadnt discovered what I now know. I just knew I wasnt going back to the same old story ever again. I've never dated another man since. its been 12 years. but I didnt start learning about myself until 2018. I stopped allowing employers abuse me in 2018 & began researching in earnest. a couple of years later, I found you. ❤‍🔥

It's easy to get lost in the weeds in trying to understand yoo deeply the behavior of these sick twisted souls....your gut is one the best indicators and one we should learn to recognize and trust more often....

@@domenicoricci5844 so true! yes, trying to keep up with their manipulation is too hard. but the gut feeling never lies....

Yes fully understand this trauma.

Yes, I can identify with you here. Exactly what I had with my sister. Took me till an adult to work it out.

I honestly believe my mom was too unavailable emotionally to engage in manipulative behaviors when I was a young child. I lea

I agree. After having a narc mother in law for 20 yrs, then followed by 3 long term narc relationships & a son in law who is a narc. I always fall for....."the innocent act" and get pulled back in. Thankfully, I keep watching Dr. C's youtube videos as a "wake up" call/reminder that they (narc) are very manipulative. I was always naive, thinking they cld change. I'm about to turn 60 yrs old......I look back & am just realizing with astonishment, just how many people I know who have narc traits......sadly, I see them at church......(my ex). Thanks Dr. C for your dedication in keeping us informed. I'm truly afraid to trust myself to discern who I'm ever in a relationship with again. Thanks again Dr. C!!! 🙌 😊 🙏

When I went 'no contact" with Windy Cousin [after sixty years of Abuse]! she enlisted ten relatives to Coax., Nag! and Harass me " Carol, I hear you arent VERY NICE OR FRIENDLY".

​@@cindyrobinson3882 Yeah, me too, Cindy. Trying to learn just what my gut is trying to tell me. Lol 🥲❤️

@marz I completely agree. I often listen multiple times. I feel as if I'm reprogramming myself after a lifetime of abuse and gaslighting. Really laying on the cure and opening my eyes. Healing is amazing ❤️

How tho?! 🤮

Thats cold, Sage, i haven't listened yet, but i tell ya, it sucks to be ugly, i turn into ugly, someone i hate , i feel my disfunction, the Doctor will help the disfunction, the Doctor will help, me know how to be ,surviveing narcissist a troubled soul, man us humans can walk and talk dog, what ever that means, shout out to me my 4 legged dog rules, and Gus is my good friend the doggie

It was like miss Sage rubbed salt on the wound, hec yea its rough being out of place, i know miss Sage, was making a little joke, she cares alot for Doctor Carter, go team healthy, i like ,Doctor Carter for being himself, i love his dog Gus ,a neat doggie for sure

Hey man hey man , thanks Doctor Carter, if i knew alot, about the tech machine, yes sir, i would be trying to get in your other community site apps, hey man Doctor Carter im very glad to be able to learn, we love ya, go team healthy

You get it!

Sometimes being played for a fool works in your favor, especially if the truth has come out and they are now trying to unsuccessfully put the blame on you.

Once they are outted, they continue with the smearing and the gas lighting. And when that stops working, they resort to hoovering, begging, etc. Horrible creatures.

I was scared at first it was my therapist that told me to watch Dr Carter especially during covid.. my goodness it opens so many doors of what was going on and I didn't have to get caught up it helped maintain the peace that I needed you don't have to run away from these people and you can stand your ground mentally you don't have to fight with these people especially if you know by watching Dr Carter and I mean I've binge watched his videos.. I even had work to do on my insides mentally knowledge is so powerful and there's team healthy if you have any questions Dr Carter can help some people on team healthy can help it could put you in a different space so you don't even have to fight with the unknown and maintain the peace by realizing what you're dealing with 🤗

Knowledge is power.

Me either!!

Nor am l thanks to Dr.C

That makes (4) of us!!! And counting!! 👍

You are so welcome, Annie. Keep learning, and I'm glad the videos help! #TeamHealthy

Likewise with myself also Dr. C. I've learned to assess situations quicker and determine if they are healthy individuals to be engaged with.

Exactly. Decernment

I’m glad you’re pain free. Once you see it, it’s better and can be avoided in the future. And yes, society is ramped with them.

Happy to know you're out. Waiting for my time. 🥲

Given time,all the little things that didn't add up......add up!

Sure is 36 years it to me to realise. Now i know i was beening played.

Time for you to leave!!!

I'd be surprised if he hasn't being getting his sexual satisfaction elseweher. Wether it's women,men.... Whatever. They're ultimately selfish people who get their needs met one way or another.

@@FirehorseG I was thinking the same thing. I was married to covert, and then had a relationship with a malignant after my marriage. The covert STILL wanted to have physical sex even though he was emotionally cheating. He didn’t really have time to physically cheat.. we have 4 children and I kept tabs on him. The malignant however we love an hour apart… he’s obviously farther on the spectrum.. and he he was so cold and barely had feelings. He was not as interested in sex after the first two months. We were together for a year.. and yes he was definitely cheating.

Please help me understand this void we're sex is concern he put me out of our bed long ago said I can't do anything with you and he stated he was finish with sex . I often wondered if that was so bc he was really sexual active one day the next he's finish.i could not been happier bc I always felt like a used tramp when having. Sex with him no foreplay no nothing except I'm ready come on down here. I was so glad when he made the announcement that he was thru trying as if it was my fault but my gut said he's threw with you but I have other supply I really think he's sexual active with men.

I'm in your shoes. 30 years staying with him. I'm over it.

anger is their speciality.

Just looked up the term “Monkey Branching” as I just experienced it. From the article: “Revenge Narcissists hate losing. If they feel threatened in the relationship, it triggers their narcissistic rage. As a result, they might start monkey branching to restore a sense of “winning the game.” With this strategy, they can feel more powerful and important. They might also flirt or cheat to hurt you. If they believe you have wronged them (even if it’s completely untrue), the monkey branching “levels” their distorted playing field. “ The person even told me it was revenge & to hurt me.

I was also being used to finance the new supply. Do these people use the same playbook or what? 😹

Keep leaning forward, SAL!

dear s

you can do this

Breath , relax, find yourself, find peace in Silence. Life is not other people, especially dysfunctional and terrible people.

REBUILD!! Yes Sal🎉 I like that a lot🦋

Sad creatures who will never experience an emotional connection with another human being, ever...yessss

It is super sad but despise how they treat others.

Same situation here…..thanks for writing exactly what I was thinking

@@mcatl8842 I’m sorry. Hang in there. Imagine being clueless. It’s no wonder I stayed with bad people, always waiting for that INTERMITTENT “good treatment”. Now we know! That is good armor to have. Thank God for Dr. Carter. His patience is endless in explaining so much. We are fortunate in unfortunate circumstances. ❤

How does pretending make it ‘nice’ for you? Sounds like complete no contact and finding a good therapist to work on you would be better.

Sometimes it's the sweet, safe, honest friends that we meet who eventually become our true brothers and sisters.

So basically yall are all fake.

Same with me with 97 year old mother. Have been learning loving detachment and trying to disentangle for the past few years. Still helping to care for her but in such a way as I protect myself much better.

Narcissists don't love anyone not even themselves!

@@nancykaczmarz8874 so true, I live day by day .. they show their true colors when the mask they wear falls off, the lies, threats, intimidation, accusations of mental instability, triangulation, smear campaigns, extortion, blackmail, police reports, claims of child abuse, neglect.. It is an ugly business.. I married her and now I must pay the consequences. I never would have believed it were possible, somehow she was able to craft a false impression that she was broken but understood pain and cared a great deal. but that was a lie. I was taken in hook, line and sinker. Thank God for Dr Carter and his books. I know now love is based on actions not promises.

My mother was also a narcissist. I finally realized that I was choosing narcissistic men because it felt comfortable to me and what I was used to. It's the gift from the narcissist that keeps on giving. I was finally able to break out of that cycle. I have been married to a wonderful compassionate man for 26 years now. Education is the key.

@@Amanda-gg8yk I was thinking that same thing that's why I have been also choosing narcissistic guys. I won't say men because, of their maturity level at least with two of them were expressly since they seemed to lack maturity.

Same head count for me. I think having always been the scape goat growing up with a narc mother, and as someone who aimed to please and always seemed to fail…we both were prime narc targets. It took me too many years to get where I am now and too old now to stick my neck out again. I raised great children, surprisingly. And I don’t need a permanent brat to complete me.

Same here. Brought up by a covert narcissistic mother who physically and emotionally abused her daughters. my two ex husbands and two other long term relationships were incredibly toxic and abusive. I'm now free (although still healing and suffering ptsd) and been studying narcissist personality disorders for a few years and finally making sense of it all. The only good thing to come out of it all are my two adult children (thankfully I broke the cycle and was a good mother).

Me too! I want to know what's wrong with me. These people just fall into my life, I'm not learning the lesson.

Smart!

I wish my friend did this. Instead I am watching him go do things against his wish, not knowing why or how to stop. If i interfere, I am the one who is “making things worse” by even talking about the problem of him being used. One day he is clear, the next he falls for the narc’s games and wants to empathize with the narc who is manufacturing lies about them being such a victim and that’s why they need him to do things for them and neglect his own needs

Is Mr. T about 90 by now?

@@SurvivingNarcissism he’s 70 now and looking good Dr C

As a friend reminds me “sometimes the greatest gift they give you is the closing of the door”.

I have no problem empathising with your experiences, but perhaps you have just been unlucky with Narcissists. Remember, Narcissists can put together a pretty good "advertisement" for themselves on line, on paper, or in person, so they are going to seem like someone you are going to want to know. Try finding someone who perhaps doesn't "come up to scratch" and see where it leads.

That’s a lot of pain.

When I see parents complaining about their narc kids I just have one question- who raised them?

@@ST-yc7ujthat’s not really a fair statement when you don’t know the circumstances. It’s not always about how they were raised. Research it.

@@user-oj6ql8zi7z those kids need extra care which parents didn't recognise in time. Boils down to parents, sorry.

@@user-oj6ql8zi7z My four kids all have different personalities. Same parents, married for over 30 years now. Only one displays obvious narcissistic traits.