When A Narcissist Realizes You Are No Longer Interested

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When A Narcissist Realizes You Are No Longer Interested

Рет қаралды 706,851

Күн бұрын

Narcissists are psychologically needy, and over time they can wear you out with their many demands. In time, you can conclude that the relationship is no longer working, prompting you to pull away. Dr. Les Carter reminds you to brace yourself when you make it apparent that you will no longer remain tethered to the narcissist. They have to have the final word, and often they make matters even worse. But you can stay strong in your resolve to move forward.
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Пікірлер: 3 300

@Original22 25 күн бұрын

No one falls in love faster then a narcissist looking for a place to live

@ReRe_642 19 күн бұрын

My step son is marrying a chic that has no clue. I feel sorry for her as I can not tell her because I am no longer in his life.

@jessihnamte8056 8 күн бұрын

This resonates me 🤧

@sandyw1891 12 сағат бұрын

@Original22 - oh all day.

@Kazzas73 Жыл бұрын

To every empath reading this; You can’t change someone by loving them harder. Best advice I have ever received.

@mobill93 8 ай бұрын

I swear narcissists are drawn to me and yes it is so hard to finally let that sink in bcs i fight for love i don't just give up but now 30 i know better and will not tolerate that behaviour

@nancydyer8942 8 ай бұрын

So very true!😢

@123MG 7 ай бұрын

I wish I'd have read this 3 years ago 😂

@carrie6157 7 ай бұрын

I tried for 35 years … then I found your channel! Thank you …

@msminicooper2010 7 ай бұрын

@@mobill93 "You are 'narc magnet,'" my therapist said to me.

@chrishere4272 Жыл бұрын

If you are in a relationship where you are always explaining yourself, you are with a narcissist.

@laurajones5352 Жыл бұрын

I agree 💯% You constantly feel like you have to justify and explain your emotions and actions.

@lavanshawn3924 Жыл бұрын

10 years in a relationship and i didn't even know until now. you are so right im always explaining myself and nothing seems to connect.

@jamesday7344 Жыл бұрын

I got tired of explaining that I was not a bad person. No contact just short of 6 weeks

@noneofyourbuizness Жыл бұрын

@@lavanshawn3924 thats it ? Is that the only reason you think she is a narcissist ??

@lavanshawn3924 Жыл бұрын

@@noneofyourbuizness no.... they are generally smart people! They know how to figure out people well. They tend make friends with people who appear that they can't fight back for themselves.

@joyphillips1821 Жыл бұрын

They just want you to constantly take care of them... but when you need help, they can't be found.

@MissAnn-xu9oo 5 ай бұрын

Bingo

@mindofnobility7554 4 ай бұрын

EXACTLY! I gave her everything. Paid rent, bills, etc. They never paid anything....always said they would pay you back. They never did. I asked for 1 thing, and they said they couldn't. I'm like, wow, after all I did for her!

@cleonagretelgodinho2881 4 ай бұрын

Exactly!!! They are NEVER there for you. They just talk and talk a lot!!! Blah blah blah..

@frenzy3132 4 ай бұрын

Exactly!!....my husband does that to me...

@lifeisgood7740 2 ай бұрын

When I contracted RSV from my grandson, he never asked me how I was doing. When I said, Why haven’t you asked me how I’m doing, he said “Actually, I forgot.” After a week of being sick, he said, You are really milking this! I should have picked up and moved right then and there. God, please give me the strength to get out of here. He’s ignored me for a week and when he does that, I feel like a big weight is off me. Has anyone who lives with a narcissist/BPD person had them stare at you and correct you at whatever move you make? Years ago, I had to go back to work for financial reasons as he had his own business and medical insurance got to be so expensive for us and our three children. When I did go back, I bought a computer for the family. I was so excited I was able to do that. One day, I came home from work and he had exchanged it for a better computer. I was livid. But, to avoid his screaming and cursing, I said nothing. He will occasionally, do something very nice for me BUT, that’s only when he has an audience to say “What a nice guy.”

@sandyw1891 2 жыл бұрын

That feeling of exhaustion. It just gets worse over time. The entitlement, the victim mentality - it's just too much.

@claddaghclare22 2 жыл бұрын

Absolutely! I've gained such peace from going "no contact ".

@sandyw1891 2 жыл бұрын

@@claddaghclare22 We're lucky to have that luxury of going "no contact". My heart hurts for people who can't just yet.

@cardinalgin 2 жыл бұрын

I'm with you on that : the same discussion and/or argument over and over and over and over..... aughhhhh !!!

@zakwood3094 2 жыл бұрын

@@sandyw1891 id love to go no contact!

@donnawoodham868 2 жыл бұрын

I've had enough ,.. I just want to leave . ... I just can't support myself . So I try to just have no contact , be gone , hang with family and friends . I do all I can for a walk with Jesus . ... He means everything to me . Theirs no love between the Narc. And me . We can't talk ,. He doesn't like talking . .... We can't even do anything for fun . I like reading , walking , going to church , Having fun with our kids , And fun with our grandchildren . I love people , .. but not him . I just don't see this until 5/6 years ago . But for years I knew that something was not right with him . He's crazy , mean , Bully , selfish , he's loud , he calls out bad words , and when I do try to talk to him ... He tells me to shout up 💔🥺 ... I can't believe I married this person . And I did it two times . I've prayed . I've done all I can . Now it's just a no contact day after day with a man that I don't know any longer . Only God can help him . I do wish that I could leave .

@christinatachdjian3752 2 жыл бұрын

"they need you to be an enabler of their dysfunctional way of life". That was pure gold.

@grace692 Жыл бұрын

I picked that out as the perfect phrase from the video as well. I replayed that section to get it just as it was said. That’s our role when in that enmeshment. Not companion, friend, spouse, fellow life traveler. We are exploited and used to enable a destructive process of functioning - one that will hurt others. That means our kids are harmed by what we are giving life support to. Count me out.

@mrjamiebowman Жыл бұрын

This is very true... They will create their own problems and pull others into it. Anger and Rage = feelings of power. Ironically, this is far from the truth... and the cycle continues

@sadiemakesmesmile Жыл бұрын

They likely do it to further justify that the dysfunction is not their responsibility, its out of their control...

@christinatachdjian3752 Жыл бұрын

@@sadiemakesmesmile yes, and it is in their control... they are the ones creating the drama.

@dyalinohera5712 Жыл бұрын

As the scape goat of my father's wife, I was key to her emotional stability so she can keep face. When I left, her son got all of the fall out of her instability.

@user-jr3rk8mn4k 4 ай бұрын

If you tell them "no" they never forgive you. Will hold a grudge for years!

@user-kf3yz7so6q 3 ай бұрын

I told ex narc NO… hence he’s now ex!!!! He left🤷🏻‍♀️

@KimberlyGray-cd3lt 2 ай бұрын

Yep

@OmarOmar-yk6yw 29 күн бұрын

Correction, forever, not years 😊

@naomieleonora 7 күн бұрын

Tantrums 😂

@ariesdelfuego Жыл бұрын

Walking on eggshells, used up and discarded. Not caring about my feelings. Yep. That's how it was with my narcissist. Absolute Hell !!

@peace5647 Жыл бұрын

There is actually a book called WALKING ON EGGSHELLS that is very good and deals with Borderline Personality Disorder

@msimon6808 Жыл бұрын

Having been a narcissist in a prior life (before I gave up my anger), I throw it right back at her. My eggshells are thinner and the discard bin is more than adequate. It tends to wake her up.

@meuresouza1880 Жыл бұрын

Same happened to me. We start to see so many little weird things...I really regret that I've met somenone like him. He was so cold.

@carlaneal8263 Жыл бұрын

I got 9 days and a wake up then I’m gone silent treatment and walking on egg shells I didn’t even know I knew how to tip toe so well 😄

@cathymcdonald9175 Жыл бұрын

Yes, walking on eggshells and being very careful what you say to them.

@openwoods1598 2 жыл бұрын

everything the doc says...is exactly what my narcissistic wife did. so happy being away from her and her narcissistic family. my gut feeling was right all these years. even my dog is happier.

@melanieknowles7002 2 жыл бұрын

Same here. 30 years of hell. Very happy now. Healthy at last. Glad you also living your life. My pitbull, Bella, did not even like him anymore. Best wishes.

@dyoung2739 2 жыл бұрын

Same. I’ve wasted decades with this monster. Our little dog,who passed a couple of years ago 💔, didn’t even like him.

@cynthiafortier2540 2 жыл бұрын

Lol, so happy for your dog, and you too!!

@danitaminer6863 2 жыл бұрын

True day on the dog comment. Thank you for the laugh 😂😁

@hissyfitz7890 2 жыл бұрын

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

@catlady6938 2 жыл бұрын

It’s like being on a hamster wheel with them, their behaviour is on repeat all the time, it’s exhausting and draining just trying to have a normal conversation and that’s without any of the other awful things they do.

@pamelahaze3211 2 жыл бұрын

Exhausting is right. Energy suckers

@maggiemcdonald3185 2 жыл бұрын

Yes i got off the hamster wheel and out the cage 🙌🙏

@pamelatitterington2453 2 жыл бұрын

That is a brilliant way to put, glad you are happier now

@onewomancircus 2 жыл бұрын

Having a normal conversation is impossible

@lulumoon6942 2 жыл бұрын

Spot on!!!

@stellawil 2 жыл бұрын

Like many of us on this channel, I tend to attract narcissists. Childhood programming and being an empath attracts them like sharks to blood. I’m getting better. I had a guy I met. He pursued me for months. We finally went out. I was infatuated with him. His love bombing was intoxicating. His mask started to slip. I just blocked him after a little over 2 months. In the past, I would have kept going, hoping things would get better or wait for the discard. I’m proud of my progress.

@Datb2 Жыл бұрын

congratulations thats great

@lytonyarice1556 Жыл бұрын

I’m the same but my cut off game is strong now 😏

@WhyCee74 Жыл бұрын

That's great. Well done! It takes a while but you learn. It took me 2 years to finally get rid of my narcissist ex.

@wisconsinfarmer4742 Жыл бұрын

Now it takes one instance of dis-respect before blockage. ... and then after a lifetime of reading by gaslight I wonder, "Did I hear it the way I think I think I did? Was I too fast on the draw?"

@saltyroserocks457 Жыл бұрын

"...I tend to attract narcissists." That comment is gold, and could possibly explain why I watch these videos🤣👍

@rachangel1951 Жыл бұрын

Losing interest is an unexpected relief.

@leviwhite3553 2 жыл бұрын

I'm sleeping in my work vehicle right now. Mind foggy and heart broken, I did this to myself. I allowed this treatment to continue until today. Today I take myself back, you can too.

@spreadthegospel6667 Жыл бұрын

Hope your doing well Levi! I did it to myself! We got this!! 💪🏽

@moonrise7781 Жыл бұрын

Hi Levi. Please be careful sleeping in your car. Well done. I’m leaving my narcissistic at the end of the month so finger’s crossed.

@PhilthCollinz Жыл бұрын

You gon be alright bruh, keep pushing, get in the gym, live life!

@stephaniemcdermott9869 Жыл бұрын

Good luck to you, congratulations 😊

@EC-yd9yv Жыл бұрын

@@moonrise7781 🙏✨

@treyichabod5840 2 жыл бұрын

"Is this person contributing to my way of life? Am I a better person because of it?" Those are the questions we should be asking ourselves constantly when we are dealing with other people.

@jaxvanheerden 2 жыл бұрын

Love this.

@missp1030 Жыл бұрын

Thank you. 👌🏾

@jenniferharrison8546 Жыл бұрын

Thankyou 😊

@jon6322 Жыл бұрын

And what happens when u are married to it?

@carolnahigian9518 Жыл бұрын

Cousin Windbag wrote me a SCOLDING VALENTINe; 'Carol i tried to call u MANY TIMES!" ( inever liked her- her Persona is Pushy- instrusive- smug; Windy causes Gossip& drama Scenes66 years( I just do not like her).

@AAXS-op1vo 2 жыл бұрын

Deciding to go no contact (as hard as it originally was) was the absolute best decision I ever made for myself. The absence of all the emotional chaos, drama, script-flipping and blindsiding made it far more easy to begin my healing journey back to my true self.

@Lmnop1111 Жыл бұрын

Right on ......still trying....

@davidjthayer7417 Жыл бұрын

No contact is absolute !!! No do overs !!!! It is a brutal experience and leaves lots of scars ..... Broken bones hurt less and heal faster !!!

@richardstambaugh744 Жыл бұрын

Did it, over 3 years ago

@baileyb8619 Жыл бұрын

OMG you nailed it. I was never in such a chaotic and confusing relationship. He never apologized and was low key disagreeable all the time. He was shocked when I ended it. I only wish I was more honest with why I was leaving. I did say he was a liar and wears a mask. No contact for almost 4 months. Just so toxic.

@wendi2819 Жыл бұрын

I went no contact 10 years ago and he would contact me over and over every few months. 3 yrs this Sept2023 I had a house emergency and I was very ill, just then I got a new letter so I asked for his help, (during Covid too). He tried to suck me back in only for a few weeks but I never dropped my guard! He's not planned for retirement, he only has social security and no health insurance. He rode in like the calvary simply expecting to be taken in. I thought he's a liability to me. I worked hard for the life I have. I knew I'd resent his sense of entitlement! He's very forgetful. I'm not taking care of a demented narc with no health insurance in my old age. I had to go no contact! He's still writing to me demanding to know why??? What Dr.C is saying sounds exactly like how he demands and devalues. He's so petty he didn't like my coffee pot, so he buys me a coffee pot for Valentine's day 2021. How manipulative. I feel like taking a baseball bat to that coffee pot. He subtly picked at me constantly all the changes he would need to make in my house and me. They just aren't worth how tiresome they are.

@ciara.maclean Жыл бұрын

I love how relaxed the dog is listening to this wisdom.

@naomieberhardt3931 Жыл бұрын

His voice is so comforting and the dog is benefiting from his words of wisdom..as well. 😃❤️⭐️🙏🏼

@witelenor575 Жыл бұрын

Hypnotized dog

@morebirdsandroses Жыл бұрын

It's just an added little piece of all of what's good here. 🌼🌺🦋

@fainitesbarley2245 Жыл бұрын

He’s not living with a narcissist.

@witelenor575 Жыл бұрын

@@fainitesbarley2245 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@lifewithapurpose237 2 жыл бұрын

when they realize u r no longer interested, they try to be the one who leaves you first. *the old* *"get them before they get me mentality"*

@aaronkwolfe 2 жыл бұрын

Mine {as my daughter told me later) attended a class on how to get out. She told me that they had scenarios all drawn up to help the wife to be successful and how to use the law to their advantage. As it played out in real time, my narc picked a fight with me while blocking the doorway, while stationing our son in the room behind her. So when I moved toward the doorway, she recoiled into the room behind, as if I had shoved her. My son could only see her recoil as if I had caused it. My narc wife was a drama teacher who taught students how to fake fight dramatically. Anyway, she moved out 3 days later after silence. She convinced a sheriff that she wasn't safe with me in the home, so she had a PFA served to get me out so she could have free reign to take all she wanted out of the house. She still thinks she won.

@amandaliverpool3374 2 жыл бұрын

Let her think that. You know different. That is so awful

@aaronkwolfe 2 жыл бұрын

@@lifewithapurpose237 I figure if anyone REALLY wants it, they'll find something. I didn't give specific details on class name or anything. Those who sow now, will reap later.

@rg-mi5hh 2 жыл бұрын

That's exactly what they do.

@rg-mi5hh 2 жыл бұрын

@@lifewithapurpose237 Wish you the best.

@fajetta 2 жыл бұрын

Mine filed for divorce without saying a word, then began spreading ridiculous lies, planting hidden cameras, refused to move out, and terrorized me until a court order forced his removal from my home. I haven’t had an anxiety attack since he moved out. Narcissists are demons. Pray without ceasing.

@PoyTroy Жыл бұрын

Jesuss ! How you holding up now?

@shakirahstewart2593 Жыл бұрын

My anxiety went away too

@user-kf3yz7so6q 3 ай бұрын

I still have anxiety attacks and I’ve been no contact for six months but after being with him for 37 years, the damage he has done to me will take a long time to fix.

@melissamac2478 2 жыл бұрын

It's a strong indication that you're dealing with a narcissist, when every interaction leaves you mentally and emotionally, sometimes even physically, exhausted. They'll run you on a hamster wheel for hours, and then laugh at you for not having the energy to keep up with them.

@cathymcdonald9175 Жыл бұрын

I would need days to rest and recouperate. Mental exhaustion

@parrymylogicthen290 10 ай бұрын

That's why you keep convos with them short, direct, and always respond but never react.

@aquagirl9228 2 жыл бұрын

And no such thing as a healthy relationship with a narcissist. Release yourself with confidence, it's only up from here! 🕊️🕊️🕊️

@nickmontanaro9638 2 жыл бұрын

The one thing your narcissist cannot tolerate above all else is your developing an indifference towards them. You must find it in you to become that to them which they despise above all else. Give them a dose of their own medicine before slamming the door in their face.

@shantellcobb7067 2 жыл бұрын

Caregiver mother 😖 (BEEP) lunatics 🤷🤦I had to get a social worker because I wanted to physically hurt her.. I'm 40 diagnosed with MS at 16 and I have a son (19)!. I'm HER only child and he's her only grandchild. He hates her 🤷

@rustymullins6623 2 жыл бұрын

I just did last nite..and of course she had to get the last word in…not saying sorry or admitting fault..laying it all on me..I treated her like a queen..two years..barely got a handshake out of the deal

@shantellcobb7067 2 жыл бұрын

@@rustymullins6623 just letting you know, YOU ARE AMAZING 🙌💪. stay strong!

@Scott-nr2ji 2 жыл бұрын

Yeah, I did that recently. The amazement they have when they can't keep us trapped into the submissive box they're hoping to sneak us into

@deborahbarchard5957 2 жыл бұрын

Monday's TO DO LIST: Call Lawyer

@Edward-oy7ed Жыл бұрын

You can't make them love you, no matter what giving you do and no matter how many chances you give. False hope, disrespect, abandonment and conditional fake love is all you'll get.

@peggygarcia6125 9 ай бұрын

Counterfeit love . Counterfeit relationship.

@Selena-T629 8 ай бұрын

It's the conditional fake love that hurts the most.

@heatherpesterfield8121 5 ай бұрын

True and I don’t even think they know what true love is,and they definitely down have any empathy towards there victims

@user-kf3yz7so6q 3 ай бұрын

You are 100% correct… experienced this for 37 years… no more, he left six months ago because I said no to another of his selfish ideas… it’s been difficult at times, but, I know it’s for the best, he is far better on his own because he is so selfish, arrogant, manipulative, a bully, patronising, a liar, gaslights, gives the silent treatment(for weeks) abusive, sadistic, self centred, delusions of grandeur… I could go on and on!! Much better he stays alone rather than place all this on some other poor soul… main thing… he’ll be able to have ALL his own way🤷🏻‍♀️

@sheilakhaitsa4376 2 жыл бұрын

They are so exhausting and selfish. They keep making the same mistake and will keep blaming you for their ill treatment. I once dated narcists and what I learnt is they never change.

@SnarkasticSunny Жыл бұрын

Yep. Every. Time. IF they did try & change it would not be with us -- it would only be for a new person, who doesn't know the reality of the narci. I don't believe they CAN change...just saying IF

@sheilakhaitsa4376 Жыл бұрын

@@SnarkasticSunny that's very true, for the first yrs they will pretend to be good but with time, their masks fall off and show their true identity.

@cathymcdonald9175 Жыл бұрын

Their life is a repeat. The same things over and over no different results

@jessicawilliams1944 11 ай бұрын

i ve had a long time friend like this. it just hit me in the last 3 yrs, that she's gotten worse or i was that unaware. omly talks to me/uses me as a sounding bord when available. always going around the same miuntain in their life. i decided to silently quit our friendship.

@melissabyrd1310 Жыл бұрын

They amp up the drama when they realize you're not interested any more.

@susanh1447 2 жыл бұрын

My husband ignores me for up to six day (literally passing in the hallway - pure craziness). Eventually he gets “lonely” and wants me to go with him to pick out flowers for the yard! It doesn’t work any longer. The drinking has now gotten over the top and I’m looking for a place to live. Thanks for helping me to survive the last few years. I have a therapist and I’m on Team Healthy!

@jacquelinegrace3 2 жыл бұрын

Wow! That is crazy!🥺 and I’m so sorry you’ve had to live with that. Mine used to ignore me for 2-5 days… avoid being in the kitchen at the same time etc. Then when he’s lonely he’s a ball of happy sunshine. I used to think I was crazy. But now I understand. One change is.. he does work on being more kind because I harped on it years ago and almost left. Is he then not a total narc? Or is he just appeasing me so I stay?

@amandaroberts5111 2 жыл бұрын

@@jacquelinegrace3 l should think, from being in a similar situation but with a brother, that your gut will tell you the truth, listen to it! Good luck

@roseisrose8154 2 жыл бұрын

@Susan H and @Jacqueline Grace. I’m right there with you both. My husband is both needy and clingy yet holds me at arms length. It’s so hard to explain. He can be both kind and cruel at the same time. He can reject me (he rarely sleeps in the bed with me by his own choice) But then want to hang out with me when he feels like it. He’ll do the ignoring while passing in the hallway bit as well and then want to go out for breakfast thing too. Because I just would love to make things right, I always accept those random kindnesses. But, after decades now, it’s just playing with my emotional well being. It’s insane! Dr. C has been a life saver. I listen to his videos and take notes to put myself into the right frame of mind. God bless you on your healing!

@lulumoon6942 2 жыл бұрын

Best to you, Susan, you do deserve better. 👍❤️💪

@jacquelinegrace3 2 жыл бұрын

@@amandaroberts5111 Thank you Amanda!! You’re right… my gut has told me often that this is not normal and that I deserve better treatment. I often stay for my 4 boys. As a child of divorce being raised by a single mom was tough- no father figure in my life. It’s not easy to just walk away… but I hear you!❤️😌

@mikel917 2 жыл бұрын

There's always a hook.Always strings attached. Always belittlement. Always hidden abuse. Even in no contact. It has worn me down to such a weary state.

@amyleblanc8931 2 жыл бұрын

I completely understand. It’s my own adult son. This channel reminds me I am not the horrible person he tells me I am.

@amyleblanc8931 2 жыл бұрын

And take care of yourself!

@mikel917 2 жыл бұрын

@@amyleblanc8931 Thanks so much! Same to you!

@mrvapor4791 2 жыл бұрын

Withering is what I call it.. god bless you.

@rustymullins6623 2 жыл бұрын

I’m with you mike..this girl not only took me to financial burden..she stole my soul..and dumbass was still in love…I finally cut her off yesterday…let the arguments begin! Nope..I shut the door after 2 years

@JrKelly-rb4eu Жыл бұрын

Even Gus is tired of the way narcissist thinks...

@frenzy3132 4 ай бұрын

😂😂😂

@staratlast 3 ай бұрын

Now that's some comic relief! ❤

@sharonjumba4648 Жыл бұрын

"If I'm so defective, why do you require my allegiance then!?" It couldn't have been said any better.

@morebirdsandroses Жыл бұрын

In the narc I'm disengaging from, it would be because she (thinks she) is sooo empathic and cares so much. 🤮 Like Dracula "cares" about your veins.

@teeh.6907 Жыл бұрын

YES!! If I'm that bad, why are you with me? I chose to file for divorce this month. I got tired of the back and forth, threats of divorce, emotional and financial abuse, and just plain exhausted from the circular conversation. I can't wait until this is over. I hurt for my children, but I think all of us will be healthier overall ❤.

@BJBlaskovichGaming Жыл бұрын

@@morebirdsandroses My narc ex gf swears up and down she’s an empath.

@morebirdsandroses Жыл бұрын

@@BJBlaskovichGaming I 've actually heard that from a number of narc or narc-seeming people over the years. It makes me cautious. And I'm glad she's an ex!

@andre.slmartins Жыл бұрын

I've asked that so many times 😂😂😂. I didn't know what I know today. But oh man I'm grateful for learning so much about it.

@chriscripplercruz1833 2 жыл бұрын

The happiest day I have had in years was when I found your channel and I started watching all of them and I realized that I was married to a narcissist and it took a long time but the greatest day for me was when I finally had enough and completely walked away and found happiness again without him and thanks to your videos I realized that he was a narcissist and that I need to leave

@catherinepraus8635 2 жыл бұрын

Same here after 22yrs so much happier 💕 stay strong

@SurvivingNarcissism 2 жыл бұрын

Glad you're figuring it out! Also thanks for the kind words.

@rebekahransom415 2 жыл бұрын

The price of Freedom can be high, but it is WORTH IT.

@aprilporter7908 2 жыл бұрын

Good for you, there's nothing quite like ordering peace with extra quiet on the side, glorious. Enjoy, x

@MegaVictorygirl 2 жыл бұрын

Same!

@AJRich-pw1zm 2 жыл бұрын

So spot on. True character is revealed under crisis and conflict.

@creciente2675 2 жыл бұрын

Absolutely

@cyberninjasworld 2 жыл бұрын

True

@lazydamsel Жыл бұрын

True

@Consiouschoices Жыл бұрын

True

@mfornelos Жыл бұрын

I have recently discovered that my wife is a covert narcissist, and it was actually the most relieving thing to discover. I always felt that something was off, I could never understand her behavior and often wondered if I was the problem. Discovering this has lifted a huge weight off my shoulders and now I know leaving her is actually the best thing for me to do.

@bfisherful Жыл бұрын

Best wishes to you and peace above all. 🙏🏾

@megamanmuppet Жыл бұрын

I completely understand.

@gonzaga45377 Жыл бұрын

It took me 25 years to discover my husband was a covert narcissist. I too felt something was off and it was all my fault. Stumbled on a video and a light went on. I am now aware of all the little abuses and the energy he tries to suck from me. He gets nothing now. Goodluck to you and me and everyone else effected by covert narcissists.

@decoy2636 Жыл бұрын

I have no idea of the investment you've made so far but no matter the cost cut them loose. I do hope since several months have passed since your comment you're already in a better place. My head started clearing up only after going no contact. I think it has been the best thing for myself I've done. Wishing you all the best

@vaisha1906 Жыл бұрын

Husband is a covert narcissist

@jerriewhitfield9991 Жыл бұрын

I married a man who didn’t show his dark side until we were married. Didn’t date long enough to pick up on it and ignored red flags. As soon as we were married he became a monster. Was with him 3 months…walked away at an airport as we were returning from a trip in which he had been horrible to me. Have not seen him since. So glad that I got out when I did. He had all of the narcissist traits.

@verystylishordinarypeople Жыл бұрын

👍, WOW that's amazing. Happy that you bounced up out of that. ‼️💯

@Kykylandfarming 7 ай бұрын

I’m so happy you got out early!

@Joan4me 2 жыл бұрын

60 years of marriage to one, he died. I am now learning the things I wish I would have known years ago. I’m MY OWN PERSON NOW and loving the freedom during the years I have left. Thank you, thank you, thank you 😊

@annemurphy8074 2 жыл бұрын

Yay!

@prisonerohope6970 2 жыл бұрын

Thank God!

@notagain779 2 жыл бұрын

@Joan Meyer, I believe it can take years to become aware of these traits, since it's a pattern of behavior over time. My brother has been married for about fourty years to a very emotionally abusive woman. He's completely under her control and cowed, but seems to know it, too. The other day he let slip: "They get you when you're young and unaware of their tricks." Otherwise, he's still supportive of how she behaves, and minimizes it by saying "all marriages have their quirks." He enables his own abuse. Congratulations to you for becoming your own person! It must be a relief. I'm 68 and still learning how to do that. (Our father was a narc, and our mother an enabler of his emotional abuse.)

@Joan4me 2 жыл бұрын

@@notagain779 Too bad snd sooooo sad for your brother. Hopefully he will wise up some day. I didn’t know what he was, but knew I didn’t want whatever it was! He was finally diagnosed. I learned how to ignore him, but was still fearful. Those habits are hard to get rid of.

@m0L3ify 2 жыл бұрын

Good for you! The same thing happened to my dad, but he didn't do any personal work to learn these things, and he might have gone back into a relationship with another. We'll see. She's giving me red flag vibes tho... You should be super proud of yourself for doing the work and learning how to finally be in charge of your life. It doesn't matter what age you start at! If you can glean happiness from any time of empowerment in your life, it's worth it.

@mountainmermaid8 2 жыл бұрын

When you start to get away, their fear of abandonment comes up and you will see it. That is when you see how pitiful they really are. It's like they regress to an infantile state. It's sad but they haven't changed.

@pamelaruth7400 2 жыл бұрын

Absolutely! You will not see them change because you leave.

@mountainmermaid8 2 жыл бұрын

@@pamelaruth7400 they won't change because they don't know how. It's a very rare narcissist who actually works on himself.

@shantellcobb7067 2 жыл бұрын

Pitiful 🤦💪

@killjoyredux8361 2 жыл бұрын

@@mountainmermaid8 or herself

@EV-zv4wc 2 жыл бұрын

This is exactly when i saw his true colors

@clauda734 8 ай бұрын

This man is the narcissist whisperer and he knows his stuff! Listen to him please! It works 100%!

@user-db8qs4hm4r 11 ай бұрын

They want to keep up the chaos confusion and upset and nothing they do amounts to your gain or peace

@clintonnagy1662 3 ай бұрын

So true. They don't contribute to a person's inner peace. It's constant turmoil and drama.

@twofry64 2 жыл бұрын

You can never imagine how much these videos help us learn to end our pain and suffering. Also how to spot one coming and stop the whole ordeal before it totally consumes us. Thanks for your amazing contribution to team healthy.

@khaartoumletstalk9037 2 жыл бұрын

Over time it is so easy to understand these patterns, but previously, we got snared up into the Anti-Logic where they short circuit our intellect and start to control our emotions by our emotional responses to this craziness...Great videos ; ) K

@omegamcbride 2 жыл бұрын

He can imagine it. That's why he makes them

@SnarkasticSunny 2 жыл бұрын

...LOL...don't think they were using the term in literal sense. Dr.C has been doing 'psych assistance' for patients many years now. He has all the "book learning" + many years more of actual experience (practice?). Matters more! Like my working with children, you quickly find out, "they don't read the same book". Humans are more complex, indivuduals. I love his insight & how well he communicates. Dr. C. has become so "big" - popular - has many things he's doing now...Live Weds, classes & more ~ he is that good at this! (& Gus💚 just the very best Gus ever!)🤗 Wonder if Dr. C. imagined at start, there'd be so many people needing his help & that we'd become a large, supportive community thanks to him?! 😉...& take up all of his time??

@mysticlisa369 2 жыл бұрын

I love Dr. Carter - He’s my favourite on this topic! 🥰

@anjanettesagona9122 2 жыл бұрын

Agree! It’s a godsend.

@Mishy555 2 жыл бұрын

Amazing how a typical conversation turns into a “competition”, with the narcissist, trying to make you see things the way they see them… 20 minutes for them to explain why the sky is blue and another 20 minutes to CONVINCE you that it is so. When you feel like it’s not worth it anymore, and you “shut down” because you’re not “being heard”….the narcissist “WINS”. Mission accomplished.

@user-eu3qy8uf7f Жыл бұрын

I disagree that the narcissist wins when you shut down. No shutting down is your system saving you when it finally realizes the TRUTH. It's like being placed in a medically induced coma so you can heal, prevent further damage and recuperate. I did it a year and a half ago. Just shut down. All "feeling drained out of me for these folks. That's a HUGE win as there is simply NO emotional hook for them to exploit.

@petekdemircioglu Жыл бұрын

Sick

@andytheghosthunter Жыл бұрын

@@user-eu3qy8uf7f I am at the point of shutting down on my narcissist. I can't take it anymore. I just have to be strong and not care about anything they say.

@user-eu3qy8uf7f Жыл бұрын

@@andytheghosthunter Exactly. Wishing you all good in your particular situation and that you find peace.😊

@Thankful305 Жыл бұрын

They hate 2things… “No.” and a different point of view. . Get ready for their escalated pushback that leads to a temper tantrum and how much of a problem you are when you don’t Agree with them!

@Datb2 Жыл бұрын

they always used to pester me about not disclosing my lifes details to them but now i know why. my spirit knew something was very off with these weirdos

@sethallison5682 Жыл бұрын

It’s crazy how good they are at infiltrating your life. You don’t realize until they’re gone how wild their behavior towards you actually was.

@annebodee 2 жыл бұрын

This is exactly where I'm at after 40 years of marriage. You've talked previously of the bully/victim mentality and it describes my husband to a T. I'm so exhausted dealing with his constant manipulation and bullying and yes, neediness! I'm not in a financial position to leave, but I'm working on that. Because I can't keep living this way. Time to take care of me.

@mapleleaf902 2 жыл бұрын

You are not alone, 35yrs here and saving as much as I can to get out.

@wisconsinfarmer4742 2 жыл бұрын

@@mapleleaf902 Be careful who you divulge your plan to. That is beware of flying monkeys acting as a spy for your narcissist.

@roccocarlino067 2 жыл бұрын

Stop using him for financial support because he understands why you need him.

@TaDarling1 2 жыл бұрын

👍🙏🤞

@WhatchaCookinRoch 2 жыл бұрын

Gurl me to 37 years !!

@willsolo1967 2 жыл бұрын

"I don't want to be with you anymore " is all the discussion that's needed

@asongforyou383 2 жыл бұрын

“Dunamis Tabernacle” on youtube is an additional source for Word of God. “Tools of a Dead Man” (3:11:08[timestamp]). 👂🏼🫀

@jeankipper6954 Жыл бұрын

He made the mistake of asking if I wanted to live into old age with him. I said NO. For reasons I am beginning to see, thanks Dr. C, he was shocked at that. I'd said so many ways, he never heard, said my "strange behavior" was new! Lordy, after saying for years??? He committed suicide a few months later. Sigh.

@photosusa Жыл бұрын

That is what I said to my ex. It crushed his ego.

@willsolo1967 Жыл бұрын

@@photosusa too bad for him

@orianam9835 Жыл бұрын

@@jeankipper6954 you have only said once , not for years , and he took his life.

@sarahwilson8854 10 күн бұрын

Run away if you encounter one of these people and block them. Interactions with them will destroy your peace.

@tabithawaylan1303 Жыл бұрын

I’m figuring out how to leave. I’ve reached a point where I’d rather sleep in my car than spend another miserable day unloved and unsafe.

@SurvivingNarcissism Жыл бұрын

Keep leaning forward!!

@IndigoCherokee 3 ай бұрын

I did that during a thunderstorm not long ago. I couldn't take it. He kept coming to the car being me to come in. But no he had the police just there accusing me of stuff.... No bueno

@rg-mi5hh 2 жыл бұрын

These kinds of people are absolutely the worst neighbors in the world.

@senadatabic197 2 жыл бұрын

I had to move bc of one.

@sage9836 2 жыл бұрын

I just mentally clicked through the antics I have seen when a narc knew that I knew. Yike. How bizarre. It's never how a normal relationship ends.

@lynnebucher6537 Жыл бұрын

I've learned to beware of any guy who is prematurely offering help with home projects, especially if they are pushy about it. Ex BF used that as a gateway to entering my life and creating a base of dependency, indebtedness and control. It was hell getting rid of him.

@foreverarebel 4 ай бұрын

I had one of those...claimed to be a big contractor😅

@Original22 25 күн бұрын

The saying goes , No one falls in love faster then a narcissist looking for a place to live

@andreafarinacci1469 10 күн бұрын

Nailed it…

@anndelgado1521 Жыл бұрын

I've finally found the strength to end my relationship with a narcissistic partner, but it hasn't been easy. I still think of him every day, and even miss him. I do feel relief, and am slowly getting my self esteem back.

@kimphillips3940 Жыл бұрын

I had no strength i was empty. It will be 3 years this August of no communication. This was 16 years of my life, im 67 So I really had to let go of the bullshit entirely. He knew he could treat me any way he wanted to, get away with it and he did not care. I helped ME.! He got away with it even to this DAY his church friends think it was all my doing, he talked lies behind my back. I did not know until way later. I have been told about Karma. It is a miracle, really, im still here and not in a grave. A

@cleonagretelgodinho2881 9 ай бұрын

Amazing ❤

@kateraya9196 5 ай бұрын

I'm in the exact same situation 🤕

@tgfitzgerald 2 жыл бұрын

Yes! Back when I didn't know a thing about narcissism I used to have extreme emotional responses to my partners behavior. But once I learmed about the behaviors associated with narcissism they were too trite, predictable and pathetic to even get a rise out of me. It drove him insane when he realized his juvenile tactics he'd always used to provoke and manipulate me in the past no longer worked.

@pamelaruth7400 2 жыл бұрын

This! It is of unending value once yo know this I found! Like you said: "so predictable... so pathetic"! 😌

@KiKi-te9yd 2 жыл бұрын

I wish Id understood narcissism before my last relationship! Would have gone a while lot more peacefully and less toxic for everyone involved

@sobiaperez4484 2 жыл бұрын

I am trying so hard to not give him what he wants He is always mad at me and it’s all my fault all the time I used to scream and yell right back But I am learning to stop 🛑 And Walk away 😞

@aaronhadley1543 2 жыл бұрын

Good for you glad to hear that

@aaronhadley1543 2 жыл бұрын

@@sobiaperez4484 this is what they want they want a reaction reacting to them only makes it worse for you first of all they are getting what they want second of all your stressing yourself

@kimgradwell4510 2 жыл бұрын

When my now ex-husband realized I was no longer feeding his narcissism, he started an affair. Then he didn't want a divorce but rather wanted to 'have his cake and eat it too'. All this information really resonates and even though it has been quite a few years from being divorced from the narcissist in my life...I'm still processing so many events of my married life.

@nancygladwin3612 Жыл бұрын

I’m in a similar situation. I finally told him I was done…and he knew he was done when I held up my journal where I chronicled the things he said and did for 5 years (should’ve seen his face!) We remain married for the time being because it’s cheaper to keep me on his health insurance and to pay the mortgage than to pay a large alimony…but he did move out and immediately found new supply with a lovely (but super needy) widow. I keep thinking I should warn her…but I know at this point she wouldn’t believe me

@fenderblue9485 Жыл бұрын

My narc derserted me when I had a bone marrow transplant and would not pick me up to go home for months. It was living hell and survived his madness. Now he is in the hospital due to heart attack, I spent 8 hrs with him. When his flying monkey arrived, I was was talking to the nurse and chuckled. After she left, he got pissed off at me and told me to leave. I said nothing as I left. As I was walking out the door he is yelling me!! I texted him that he can find his own home. The hospital gave me all his clothes, keys, and wallet.😅

@lynnebucher6537 Жыл бұрын

Same here, as soon as I stopped financially propping up his bad decisions, he was looking for a new woman. Or eight, lol. Divorcing him was my best decision ever.

@Kykylandfarming 7 ай бұрын

@@lynnebucher6537they are so draining! They need constant supply and They are basically vampires!

@Selena-T629 8 ай бұрын

You just described my life right now. Circular arguments, constant criticism, being blamed for everything wrong in their life. Oh, and the constant need for approval and agreement with everything they say.

@nox_ross 7 ай бұрын

Just described my life until 5 months ago.

@ariacane8421 Жыл бұрын

My narc. partner felt really uncomfortable when it came to talking honestly and calmly about anything related to our relationship. That's because they have a hidden agenda and are afraid you will see through their lies. When I was unhappy about something he did, he did nothing , as if he took pleasure in having power over my emotions. It made no sense then cause I knew nothing about narcissism. It all makes sense now! Pleased to have been the one to end it!

@ms.ladysanders3939 Жыл бұрын

Yes. My ex would smirk when I allowed him to make me upset after telling myself I wouldn't let him get me to that place again.

@BEve218 Жыл бұрын

My heart literally can't take it anymore

@alicehonestymanson1798 Жыл бұрын

I pray my strength and courage to you and protection of the Lord Jesus Christ, that he take you into the palms of his hands and hold you unto His heart. Amen

@Kayannh1961 9 ай бұрын

Sooo sick of the blindsiding, pettiness, superiority complex and contempt. Mostly, the weird feeling of being worn out over the simplest of things, things that should be easy. A narc can take a trip to the grocery store and turn it into an exhausting, fact-fighting battle so they can prove their right. Sickening!

@samoments 6 ай бұрын

Same here. You have mentioned every pain I am dealing and struggling with my partner.

@lundsweden Жыл бұрын

Let's face it, at this stage who cares what they think!

@saraR223 Жыл бұрын

Can't even have a conversation with my husband, decided to grey rock. He cuts me at my knees every chance he gets, and ofcourse I react. This has been going on for 10 years. Never knew what narcissist behaviors were. Started to educate myself, it does makes sense. Now, all I need is to get away. I am not doing this anymore.

@morebirdsandroses Жыл бұрын

Do what you need to do. Getting free is hard, but putting up with their garbage is _too_ hard, with no good payoff. Enough 💩!

@sandravargas9082 Жыл бұрын

Every day spent with them is another day wasted. Get yourself self free and experience a joyful, peaceful life.

@sjennyfufu Жыл бұрын

Do you have kids with him ? I just left a narcissistic marriage of 21 years and have two girls with and I’m struggling with the no contact thing with him and haven’t seen my kids in awhile.

@Kykylandfarming 7 ай бұрын

@@sjennyfufuyou left your kids with him?

@sjennyfufu 7 ай бұрын

@@Kykylandfarming unfortunately I did

@madelinemaize9786 2 жыл бұрын

My narcissistic individual raged at me and and carried on and kicked me out when I told them of plans to move out. I was totally calm, observing this reaction, thinking cool, they just did themselves in. Next day they were a ray of sunshine, trying to engage in conversation while I packed and left without a word. They are still trying to manipulate, thru messages to my daughter. She doesn't block them, because it amuses her that even after being ignored for two years, they keep it up. They've burned all their bridges, and have no one left, and are living with Mother, the biggest narcissist of all. Very satisfying.

@melanieknowles7002 2 жыл бұрын

Yes. That is what they do. Never mind...every dog gets his day...but a narc gets a weekend. ☺

@danitaminer6863 2 жыл бұрын

@@melanieknowles7002 . . . Narc gets a lifetime 😌

@hissyfitz7890 2 жыл бұрын

Karma is WONDERFUL!

@willsolo1967 2 жыл бұрын

I'm glad you are handling it well. These malignant narcissists are very angry and vindictive. Malevolent as one can possibly be

@hissyfitz7890 2 жыл бұрын

@@willsolo1967 - They have no bottom to the levels they can sink.

@theartist4557 2 жыл бұрын

Dr. C is 100% correct! It gets worse as they age. Life with a narc is a constant contest of wills and servitude.

@susanwilcox5763 Жыл бұрын

I like the word servitude. That describes it exactly. We’re always in the mode of service. One-way, one-sided service

@theartist4557 Жыл бұрын

Absolutely. Its oppressive and constant… and the entire family knows it to the point you become the unpaid slave and financier of the narc and then they sue you after you have spent your entire life in servitude to them all.

@theartist4557 Жыл бұрын

My narc is dying. And he suddenly became a really nice guy! Isnt that insane? It takes death to cure them.

@theartist4557 Жыл бұрын

And now i feel bad… because there was a nice person in there all the time…. And i treated him like a narc. It was all just a cover up!!!! I judged him and Jesus taught me something by this. 😭

@heathermastriano5497 Жыл бұрын

Yes. It does. The constant fighting about anything and everything. I didn’t realize I was constantly fighting to keep me emotionally alive because o don’t like to fight but I felt I had to and o find it didn’t really matter. But I getting out. It is my time. He is being all nice now saying it is all his fault. To manipulate to get all of us in his good graces again but what he does not realize is 30plus years has worn everyone down. We don’t want to associate anymore. I have two children so I need to maintain civility but indifference I will be ok but the mental and emotional attachment attachment has eventually started to crumble and I am ready.

@passionateforjesus4019 11 ай бұрын

Being with a narcissist is literally draining. They are like energy vampires. You’ll feel drained after spending time with them. It sucked the life out of me until I became sick with different diagnosis from doctors and was even suspected with cancer in 2020. I’m glad to escape alive And sane I’m still on medication and healing Narcissist feed on your emotions. Even if you stay and grey rock, you are suppressing your emotions which could lead to mental and physical ailments.

@akcalo 4 ай бұрын

This is what I'm worried about. I'm going to have to plan for eventually leaving. I don't need health issues at my age

@lynnschaeferle-zh4go 6 ай бұрын

It’s jolting when you realize perfect strangers care more about what happens to you than the person you’ve been trusting and loving. When I dislocated my shoulder he just stood and stared like a 2 year old. The nurses kept questioning him about abuse so then it was my fault.

@maimay3673 6 ай бұрын

When I can't do household chores due to my arthritis, she can't be asked to help, just watched me limping trying to do it, apathetic,

@msannthrope1863 2 жыл бұрын

Dignity, respect and tranquility are just the things that make you a target for these opportunistic, soulless predators. It’s unfortunate.

@j-l8404 Жыл бұрын

Why is that? Is it because they feel they are better than you, demeaning people gives them joy? Would a narcissistic person also lack emphathy, take limited accountability and manipulate others to do their work for them? Just asking..thanks.

@msannthrope1863 Жыл бұрын

@@j-l8404 there are books and books written answering those complicated questions. I couldn’t possibly do it on a thread. Sorry.

@j-l8404 Жыл бұрын

@MsAnnThrope No problem. I've been watching a lot on this channel and figuring things out. Human behavior in general, I find, is very interesting. Thanks 😉

@msannthrope1863 Жыл бұрын

@@j-l8404 narcissists are everywhere, in every walk of life, race and gender. I hope you never have to tangle with one.

@j-l8404 Жыл бұрын

@MsAnnThrope I've dealt with a few for sure. I am less triggered than I used to be and am learning a lot about identifying the behaviors. Now, I really need to know how to deal with them, without causing escalation. If you call them out on it, it goes sideways, if you go along, they control you and take advantage of your good nature. It goes against my nature to be bullied, but I don't know how to deal with them. I'm a Care Aide, there are many women who have these traits.

@OSTARAEB4 2 жыл бұрын

Yes, the neediness becomes quicksand. Beware of the “can you do me a favor” becomes a tidal wave of abuse. In all honesty, I can’t stand needy people. It always gets taken advantage of.

@alonzomosley7 2 жыл бұрын

LOL , a tidal wave of abuse exactly what I am going through at the moment.The list of request is just ridiculous.If I ask for any help sayonara.

@cindyk4324 2 жыл бұрын

Your warning about being asked “Can you do me a favor?” reminds me of my narc ex who asked such a favor after only a few dates. I agreed, and it seemed harmless because I was being helpful. Looking back, I had not realized that may have been a “test” for empathy and compliance since there was a small level of absurdity to him asking me that particular favor: test-driving a vintage sports car on his behalf. He went a few days later. Strange. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that I passed the test. Thankfully I was not subjected to extreme narc behavior in the ensuing relationship. It was bad but not awful. So glad that is 11 years behind me. Thanks to guidance from those knowledgeable and kind like Dr C, I have more effective ways to recognize, and deal with, new narcs who might try to enter my life. Narc radar and narc repellent can be very effective.

@venustape 2 жыл бұрын

I have to agree with you about people taking advantage of good people by placing their needs above that individual. My husband whole family are narcissist. I've also experience the "needed" and "can you do me a favor" person situation. Thank you for sharing

@alonzomosley7 2 жыл бұрын

@@venustape My story about my grandmother still haunts me .She died many years ago ,I visited her regularly ,she had a good friend /neighbour who moved away and died unexpectedly .My grandmother just dismissed the whole event, her friend did everything for her ,I was totally shocked by the response .I realised I was dealing with a total narcissist .Has anybody else had these groundswell moments ? They are tough to deal with .

@tinajones5548 2 жыл бұрын

Yes I agree, when a favour becomes an obligation RUN....

@MariaSilva-ix1qc Жыл бұрын

"You're proving my point", is exactly why I prefer to live on my own. It is hard but I am happier with myself. I am not needy, and I don't need to play the victim or project misery onto others. I can think clearly outside the box.💫

@kaze_cat 7 ай бұрын

Yes! Well said. I was raised in a crazy ‘house of narcissists,” 3 of them, and much later I believe my younger brother defected to that side, as he has no clue. What it was in my younger years, youth, and for decades later was nameless, so I just referred to it until more recently as a major dysfunctional family unit. Due to that scenario, my now adult daughter was unfortunately raised with them, and has shown signs of narcissism, and to make matters worse, has a major narcissistic life partner (what are the odds of this happening??). It is truly a heartbreaker for me, but my daughter refuses to see a qualified psychologist who specializes n narcissism. I explained it was not her fault that she was exposed, and I didn’t know. This turned into a long answer to respond, that I also prefer a quiet home, no toxic issues or drama. However, at times I feel that I was given this role, and now I’m in the only role I know. I am strongly encouraged this year to reconnect with my “earlier/more youthful self,” and continue my destined life journey, not the one I’ve somehow relegated myself to. Cheers to you!

@ChrisIowa Жыл бұрын

I had a woman who sadly married my dad, and she was 100% narc. She took away my dad and my family, and when he died last year, she left him alone in hospital for 3 months with no contact with social workers trying to contact her, and she ignored them as they needed to sort out his care. Apparently, she also changed his will a year before he died, making sure my brother and I were left with nothing, and she and her children got everything, She never worked in the 15 years they were together and spent all of his savings. My dad was a successful lawyer and my Mum who died from cancer was head teacher. It makes my blood boil, but I'm glad to know I'm not alone in this madness. Thank you for these videos, which show me the reason for this situation. Personally, I'd like all of them to be put on an island and left to fend for themselves. I'd watch that with a big bag of popcorn. 🍿

@spopdee6072 Жыл бұрын

🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 for u … there’s a such thing as karma

@osajohnson1957 Жыл бұрын

Adult children, watch out for your single lonely parent or relative. When they start back out on the social scene they are just lambs in a cougars world. I managed a covert intervention for my sister. I was in a car with her and the man-of-the-month. I asked her to adjust the radio. He slapped her hand away without even glancing at her. Demonstration completed!

@janewalsh2773 Жыл бұрын

That's so sad. So sorry that happened. X

@moscowcowboy_13 2 жыл бұрын

my narc. loves going from I am the boss to I am a poor helpless little child in like 1 second it is so predictable and hilarious

@violajoseph8549 2 жыл бұрын

Its like watching a Tyler Perry movie and they play all the leading roles. 😆

@jluecking5596 2 жыл бұрын

Same!

@smbizwin 2 жыл бұрын

Omg-yes

@lawrencefeldman7744 2 жыл бұрын

Ooooh! From Mighty to uncomfortable at the drop of a hat!

@eagleeye2300 2 жыл бұрын

Its because they are all torn up and have different psyches, too. They will try different techniques trying to get one of them to work. I saw this onetime so markedly when working retail that I have never forgotten it. The woman ( customer) was trying to massively bully me, and when I looked her right in the eye to meet it-- she immediately changed and some manipulative fake "sweet person" emerged. It was unreal.

@henriettahudson3006 2 жыл бұрын

I FINALLY MOVED OUT ON JUNE 2!!! Freedom feels good. And independence feels beautiful!!! After 3 years of living with my 89-year old gaslighting narcissist father, my sister and her friend rented a u-haul truck, packed up my clothes and furniture and finally moved me out!!! On my way out the door, I told my father that I would call him, but I never did and I'm very glad that I didn't. I'll never do yard work for him again. And I'll never go fishing with him again!!! Since I moved out, my depression is 100% GONE!!! My stress is finally gone!!! With freedom comes responsibility. I'm responsible for my own cooking and my own personal business. But this is a choice that I made for myself. I don't feel anything for my father. If anything, I just feel pity for him.

@SurvivingNarcissism 2 жыл бұрын

Freedom...live into it!

@marteenmanuel5521 Жыл бұрын

Amen. I did the same thing. I feel great.

@LinTrueCrimeProject Жыл бұрын

Don't you wonder how many people are depressed or have anxiety as a result of dysfunctional personal relationships that create it? And we don't even realize it....

@joyterblanche5084 9 ай бұрын

I was in a relationship with a narcissist....i can only thank God for the wisdom and discernment i have that got me out of the relationship very quickly...they play mind games ...

@lifeofisabelleh 2 жыл бұрын

the “let me do you a favor” turns into “i do EVERYTHING FOR YOU” so fast. and it hurts so bad every single time. how do i stop letting this be my fault

@ms.ladysanders3939 Жыл бұрын

Stop letting them do things for you.

@Eyesofanenigmaticsoul Жыл бұрын

Exactly, now when someone says this one time. I’m done. That type of person will never do things from their heart they only want a return. I never do that, i always give from my heart with out expecting ANYTHING in return . Ive dealt with too many narcs in my life and was married to one as well. I know what to look for.

@mgb7140 2 жыл бұрын

If I can't have you, I'll destroy you. Thanks for the confirmation, Dr. Carter. This is exactly right.

@goldilocks3593 2 жыл бұрын

Very accurate. You can know a narcissist (especially a covert) in your outer circle for a very long time before seeing their true colours which is when they decide they want you in their inner circle and you don’t want to be there .. that is when you will realize they have been grooming you all along 🙄🤦‍♀️

@Trisof88 2 жыл бұрын

Not any more. The minute I see entitlement or self serving behavior, I'm out

@sparkelsdiamond2699 2 жыл бұрын

So true in my situation few years back Today i know who & what iam 💖🌹🐣🐱🦄🦄🦋

@gailrosenberg48 2 жыл бұрын

@@Trisof88 My clue is lack of reciprocity. It's amazing how they want your investment to be deep, while theirs is superficial.

@prisonerohope6970 2 жыл бұрын

@@Trisof88 Smart!

@kathleensueoka3599 2 жыл бұрын

Grooming is love bombing. Finding out who you are your values etc so they can be that long enough to capture you. Then slowly it becomes to unwind.

@rachelfranks4450 Жыл бұрын

I was told so many times to leave them alone and got such bad emotional and verbal abuse. When I finally said “ok” and totally left them alone and walked away from the relationship, they played the victim and to this day claim it. That they were left, devastated and heartbroken. The final gaslight, if you will. Enduring it all has COMPLETELY changed me, in sooooo many ways. It’s unbelievable how that type of experience can rock your world….much love to everyone that has experienced it, my heart truly goes out to you!!

@stacierose1692 Жыл бұрын

Hi Rachel,it's like you read my mind 😮or live my life, 🧬 ❤️ thank you for this note to keep going forward .🙏🫂

@ShannonLeeSD 11 ай бұрын

Same, I was always made to feel like I was bothering him, that even my mere existence was a nuisance and was taking a constant verbal beating no matter what I did. I finally realized I would never be good enough and never make them happy and if I stayed I would be destoryed, I needed to leave. Now I'm accused of abandoning them. I'm always the bad one and he's somehow my victim, yet my needs were never ever met, it was always about him. It was so twisted. I still think often about what I did wrong... Healing is a long process.

@Elly-lp9bn Жыл бұрын

Listening to you is like getting a pep talk and heart to heart from a dad I never had. Thank you for filling in for dad.

@HereForToday42 Жыл бұрын

I bet he's a great dad

@KlaraVedis Жыл бұрын

this ❤

@happyclappy1805 11 ай бұрын

I feel the same way. Very solid, comforting and wise

@Kharkovkid 11 ай бұрын

"Son, Don't jump in the out house, and then come calling on your Old Man for a clean suit." - Dad 1978

@willsolo1967 2 жыл бұрын

It's smart to not care what a narcissist thinks or feels

@ninadeffains4858 2 жыл бұрын

After 58years of marriage have left my husband and have blocked him from any communication. He has been telling lies to my friends and family who have not believed him and now he is alone completely and I am free. Thank you for all you have said. I am happy now.

@SurvivingNarcissism 2 жыл бұрын

Peace to you, Nina.

@menotyou6254 2 жыл бұрын

Blossom🌸

@melissaculpepper7663 6 ай бұрын

I’m a “recovering narcissist”. This has been a heartbreaking realization but important for my healing. I have suffered at the hands of “other narcs” but I’ve done the same thing to others in my relationships. The Lord Jesus has allowed me to see my sin, confess it, and receive His healing. My beloved husband has been my victim but he has been long suffering in our marriage. His steadfast love for me and his relationship with Jesus Christ has given him the strength to endure. Now, we are thriving in a truly loving marriage that God intended for us to have . Glory be to God🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼✨✨✨♥️♥️♥️

@kbleonhard 5 ай бұрын

What a beautiful testimony!! God is faithful to heal and restore, so thankful He has healed you and your marriage!! Thank you for being vulnerable enough to share your testimony. Romans 8:28 paraphrased “For we know, that God will use all things, good and bad in our lives for our good and His glory to those who love Him.” God is using you now for His glory! Bless you!! 😊❤️

@metonicycle6294 5 ай бұрын

Let's hear your husband's point of view.

@kbleonhard 5 ай бұрын

@@metonicycle6294 with Jesus Christ, all things are possible. He can help and heal your broken heart too, whichever side you were on. Just call out to Him today. 💜

@victoriasmith1695 3 ай бұрын

❤❤

@MiaK06 2 ай бұрын

As someone who was brought up by a narcissistic mother and who has now also dealt w a narc for last almost three yrs as an adult and who was at times so broken by him I could barely get out of bed, I am v skeptical when I read testimony of a so called ‘recovering’ narcissist I truly hope for you that you are recovered but I don’t think there ever is real and true recovery from being a narcissist.

@patricialevie7142 Жыл бұрын

You are so helpful. I'm an 80 year old woman who has finally decided not to play "their" games anymore. Thanks again for your kindness. Pls give Gus a special treat for me. He makes me smile.❤

@colleenjl9474 2 жыл бұрын

Looking back, I think I felt too alone and lonely, reaching a point where questions about still being interested or not did not occur to me, because the time where I still had hope was gone. The disillusionment and loneliness was indescribably overwhelming. I look back now and realize, I got smeared so badly, I lost friends...yet... the ensuing feelings of this injustice was still tolerable, compared to the loneliness I learned existed in the most unexpected place...right beside the person I thought I could trust with my love, life and my all. SMH. It's amazing I've reached a place I never thought possible ever...a place where they were not my first thought in the morning or my last one at night. Gradually, I reached a point of acceptance of what happened, the lessons learned...and finally actually feeling pity for those empty people, with their unfulfilled lives. I am even grateful for that vast array of emotion that makes us human, and am saddened for people who will never know true joy, contentment, friendship, and what it means to be Blessed for real. I hope people will learn from the many stories of survivors who stood back up and found themselves again. Thank you Dr. Les for all you do.

@susanm.4100 2 жыл бұрын

I felt the same way. This could be my story as well.

@IndigoDaffodil111 2 жыл бұрын

Love it. Your comment really helped thankyou 💚

@Booboonancy 2 жыл бұрын

What a touching comment that rings so so true.

@kimberlyherman2605 2 жыл бұрын

It takes a lot to get to where we can self love and take care of ourselves instead of the focus always having to be on the narcissist. I was raised having to listen to my mother verbally saying aloud things she wanted me to say to her like, " oh you're such a wonderful mom. You are did a great job and it just went on and on and on about the praises she thought I should say to her when she never gave me a chance to even say thank you or anything. And after she said her diatribe, there wasn't a need for me to say anything, except sometimes I had to repeat what she said before I got any peace. If I didn't speak her praises, then it was that "I was unappreciative", or she wasn't loved, needed, or wanted by me, blah blah blah. It's hard to compliment someone when they are already doing it for themselves, for you! Lol From watching the videos and reading up on "them", I can see how much of a narcissist she really is and she would "compete" with me or whine when I found something that I liked and she'd whine and basically get me to give her the items! Even though she could go out and buy whatever she wanted anytime she wanted to! Oh boy and the amount of guilt trips I was made to endure over the years! Smh🤦‍♀️ Narcissistic people are A LOT of work!

@homesteadgmad8223 2 жыл бұрын

The WORST is when the narcissist spouse "poisons" your children's minds using manipulative tactics...It's even WORSE when your child(ren) inherits the juvenile narcissistic tactics they grew up with and so it goes. 😭 I see similar narcissistic traits (like their dad) in two of my six adult children. Very sad. Plus, like most narcissists, you cannot REASON with them...They are in a constant state of denial. At this point, PRAYER is the only thing I can do for them!

@izawaniek2568 2 жыл бұрын

When enough is enough you are done and can take it anymore then the beautiful moment of I am not interested and I do not care any more. I Thank God for you and your incredibly supportive presence in our lives! Thank you for your voice of wisdom dr Carter.

@shantellcobb7067 2 жыл бұрын

DON'T CARE ANYMORE 💪🙋❣️

@sinceresong9907 Жыл бұрын

I'm there!!!

@leilaglen6435 Жыл бұрын

"You're proving my point" that's exactly the realisation and closure you need to fully let go, knowing you've ended it for the right reasons!

@joelkhan6838 11 ай бұрын

I was in a friendship with someone for over 16 yrs and everything you said she exhibited. It was exhausting and heartbreaking, couldn't have a descent mature conversation without her feeling like a victim most times. Finally my patience gave out and I recently ended the friendship. She still believes that she was right and justified everything she did, didn't even apologise. My advice to ppl out there, don't waste your precious time with ppl with those qualities, look for ppl who can uplift you and be a positive influence in your life. Ppl who suck the energy out of you exhibit parasitic behaviour and when you confront them abt it becomes a victim, please do yourself a favor and stay away from ppl like that, don't be like me.

@ayumisae6864 10 ай бұрын

Agree ❤

@heatherpesterfield8121 5 ай бұрын

True the fact is they will never change and being with one is like a death sentence,they slowly suck the life out of you

@danieladeutsch1708 2 жыл бұрын

True that. As I have broken up with him I blocked him everywhere. So, he wrote me an evil letter, where he wrote: "To divorce you was the best thing I have ever done!!!"....We haven´t been ever married haha

@thrivingnow7395 2 жыл бұрын

That is so funny! Mine wrote "I divorce thee, I divorce thee, I divorce thee" (as if he were Muslim!). I said, that was a shame because it was me who had petitioned for divorce, so it really was funny!

@danieladeutsch1708 2 жыл бұрын

@@thrivingnow7395 :) hihihi yes, this is exactly how they roll! :) But we are the true winners, hun :*

@QueenChastity 2 жыл бұрын

Lmao delusional!

@do-uc6xj 2 жыл бұрын

it's amazing that there needs to be an entire industry or self-help specialization just to combat the destruction of narcissist.

@juliuscee4633 Жыл бұрын

Everbody can teach someone in need what they learned from the industry, though

@gabrielnadia1085 Жыл бұрын

Something happened to me Yesterday : I laughed for something very tiny like a child would do. I really think I am recovering from the narcissist in my life thanks to all those vidéos I watch everyday since 10 days. Glory to GOD. I will make it!

@morebirdsandroses Жыл бұрын

Yes! I'm glad to hear you are realizing that you want and deserve good things. Keep going. ❤

@gabrielnadia1085 Жыл бұрын

@@morebirdsandroses Thank you my dear.

@morebirdsandroses Жыл бұрын

@@gabrielnadia1085 🌹💕

@ceceliadavis471 Жыл бұрын

The result of my experience has left me with major depression. So many people in this world are damaged and in pain. I lost any desire I had for some kind of relationship or companionship after what's happened. I am very grateful for Dr. C's videos. They are the only therapy available to me at present, as well as any self- help info I can obtain. Thank you, Dr. C.!

@Aries-Amore Жыл бұрын

🙏🏾💙

@shakirahstewart2593 Жыл бұрын

I agree. These men are exhausting period. We have to put God first

@blanketeyblank5309 Жыл бұрын

Being in nature is healing for me. Best of luck in your life

@Anonymous-oq3gq 9 ай бұрын

Keep busy that helped me. Doesn't matter what it is just focus on something. Right a bucket list and stick to it. Do an online course, that will keep you busy you won't have so much time to think about bad things. Keep the physical exercise up too. Choose a different park to go to each week. Dont let things go too far get help if you can. Once the thing making you depressed is out of you life you slowly feel better. What do you enjoy doing, do that.❤

@maraemartinae5772 2 жыл бұрын

I’ve been divorced for several years and don’t have the mental energy to meet anyone. I’m still exhausted from years of pointless arguments, lies,cheating,more lies, being dismissed , criticized and disrespected. I finally found some peace and don’t want to risk my mental health further. When we were divorcing I told him he never said one kind word to me. He laughed and said yeah right I’ve never said a kind word. I offered him 100 dollars to remind me of a kind word or gesture or a time he defended me or even looked out for me. He couldn’t and he loves 100 dollar bills.

@susannay.3437 2 жыл бұрын

How did you exit the relationship? Did you already have a job/career?

@jeepnj2502 2 жыл бұрын

Im with you on not having the energy. I feel like I keep picking people who arent mentally available and Ill be on one side stacking up all these bricks thinking im building a relationship. Then you find out your partner hasnt been stacking bricks on their side, but instead saving the things theyve learned about you to use them as ammo against you, not to build shared acceptance. Its just .. why bother, Ive got family and friends and pets. Let the men mgtow

@MaryPothoven 2 жыл бұрын

@@susannay.3437 I have that same question. If you discover all this after you spent your life creating a home and raising children, it's practically impossible to leave physically. You can leave in every other way, which is what I'm doing, just living my life, doing what I like, building myself up, building new friendships, discovering new interests, pursuing what makes me happy. Go figure, he never wanted to participate in those activities because they weren't about him. I love the beach, he hates it... now I go anyway. I love sunsets and sunrises, he could care less, I'm enjoying them alone and with others... and so on. Life is better already.

@susannay.3437 2 жыл бұрын

@@eagleeye2300 Oh, I'm so, so sorry that was your experience! Yes, alot of time and moving in the right direction is key to peace and an understanding of ourselves and others. 🌹

@wanderinghome9979 2 жыл бұрын

@@MaryPothoven I know how that feels. Bless your heart.

@SurvivorC 2 жыл бұрын

“Human beings are not commodities to be used.” !!!!!

@editedforprivacy207 Жыл бұрын

Grew up with both parents being narcissuses, ended up their punching bag the entire time. Sadly i am still stuck with them due to financial issues, but i do not plan on ever having a relationship after i leave.

@ellenringer5236 5 күн бұрын

Thank you. Narcissists never quit. My sister has been this way all of her life.

@vladquebec 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks Dr C! You hit the spot when asking the question : Is this person improving my quality of life? This is the starting point of ending a narcissistic relationship. Give a treat to Gus from me! :-)

@travismcdaniel2034 2 жыл бұрын

That is great..."Are you improving my quality of life"?

@travismcdaniel2034 2 жыл бұрын

"Am I a better person because of my association with this individual"? ...wonderful

@camuyana 2 жыл бұрын

Since I have showing no interest in him I'm going through hell. I'm really looking forward to this video. Dr. Carter your videos are always timely.

@camuyana 2 жыл бұрын

@rhonda jenkins I feel for you. Keep the no contact otherwise you will see no peace in sight.

@camuyana 2 жыл бұрын

@rhonda jenkins I'm very happy that you finally have the peace that you deserve. May God bless you in your journey in your new life. ❤🙏

@camuyana 2 жыл бұрын

@rhonda jenkins with God's help I will. Take care.

@dinky-diridgy-didge636 Жыл бұрын

Kinda getting a whole new found respect for my late dad, we use to come home from school and just step over him cause he was passed out drunk on the floor, never a violent alcoholic. Living with my mother for the last 8 years, I can understand how it would definitely drive anyone to drink 😂

@jennydesu2544 Жыл бұрын

😮😊

@BrintonStafford-ql2zr Жыл бұрын

I’m on th brink of losing my sanity being called a narcissist till I watch this video wow , I’m am done with being the fixer

@moscowcowboy_13 2 жыл бұрын

everytime I call out my angry step father, after one of his little rage sessions, I am immediately impeached as having an anger problem LOL

@SurvivingNarcissism 2 жыл бұрын

Classic projection.

@NOT_SURE.. 2 жыл бұрын

i realised my sis does that , tried to provoke me to losing my temper so she can point and say 'looks HE's the one with the anger issues' , but i dont react so it annoys them even more .

@eagleeye2300 2 жыл бұрын

My mental case "neighbor" got elected to the Condo board, received "permission" to violate the Condo Regs by the 2 narc presidents (that she later backstabbed,) and she built a deck extending to only 5" away from underneath my back window. When I got angry and expressed it, (after fighting her project for over 2 years,) she filed a restraining order on ME, lying her rear off to make sure that she got it. Everything that she could think of. I missed the court appt. because I got lost...Two male policemen showed up at my condo at 10:30 that night to serve the order, naturally in front of the entire association. My appeal was rejected. I'm waiting to see if there's any karmic repercussion for her, but these things take time. She's batsh*t crazy-- and now she's thrilled, thinking that she really got me. Well, God ( and myself) know what the truth is. She is an entitled witch, who is on "The Board" but never intended to follow the regs herself. The only thing I've been guilty of is calling her out and yep, I sent some pissed off emails. Who wouldn't. She took my privacy away and changed the value of my property and felt absolutely justified doing it because she's just that special.

@Musiclover-uo2oi 2 жыл бұрын

Confession through projection.

@NOT_SURE.. 2 жыл бұрын

@@eagleeye2300 the karmic payback comes at the end of these peoples lives, they end life very lonely as no one wants to be around them .

@rosalynzografos 2 жыл бұрын

Trying to get out. Older he gets the worse it becomes.

@misselle6939 2 жыл бұрын

They really do get worse with age.

@thrivingnow7395 2 жыл бұрын

Go quietly! It is worth the initial trauma once you start to gain peace.

@misselle6939 2 жыл бұрын

@@thrivingnow7395 Unfortunately I have finances tied up with mine so it’s going to be a process. But I 100% agree that it’s worth it! Narcissists are sinking ships that’ll drown everyone within their proximity over time.

@carriegaylor8859 Жыл бұрын

Even the dog in the background is calmed by this man's soothing voice.

@robadobflob3405 Жыл бұрын

It’s amazing how deep the narcissistic tendencies and behaviors go… I grew up with an incredibly narcissistic father and became very narcissistic myself, which caused our relationship to just absolutely implode and then explode like a supernova. Not only does this channel help me work through and understand my trauma, but make progress in eliminating my own narcissism before I become trapped in the bottomless and unnavigable void of true, consummate narcissism. Thanks doc!

@SurvivingNarcissism Жыл бұрын

I’m pulling for you! Make sure you watch the video, A 7 Part Plan for Overcoming Narcissism. Best wishes!

@lorikaye1540 Жыл бұрын

I pray for your healing.

@imout671 Жыл бұрын

I've watched my oldest sister become just like my narsasistic Dad. Haven't seen or spoken to her in years because of her behavior. The fact that you are aware of the tendency sounds like are gonna be ok

@Broomy718 Жыл бұрын

There’s no cure for narcissism.

@petekdemircioglu Жыл бұрын

@@Broomy718 there is possibility of becoming aware and Thats itself a cure

@lisab3396 2 жыл бұрын

Ohhh yes all the signs, tricks, sly and direct control and anger.

@caraosullivan7089 2 жыл бұрын

I was amazed at the mix of truth and lies and backpedaling once I informed my husband I was leaving the marriage. And he tried to make me feel guilty when I wasn't the one who violated marriage vows! I used "gray rocking" though consistently -- I am now living in peace!!

@etcwhatever 2 жыл бұрын

My ex fiance had the nerve of saying "i have rights" while he was living in my house and not following basic hygiene and civility. He didnt even sit for an hour with me on the evening. I couldnt watch any show i liked on tv, i had to watch what he wanted and god forbid id look on my phone to see things im more interest in. Ffs. So glad i kicked him out. Bastard. Btw he left rotten cat food, the cat litter full of excrement, the backyard full of ciggarett ashes and stole some of my items as his final gift to me.

@lifeisgood7740 2 жыл бұрын

@@etcwhatever Sounds like A,Ned Heard! I’m using grey rocking on my husband now. If I never talk to him again, I’ll be satisfied. We are both retired now for a year and it’s been hell. I’m seeing the real him. BPD/narcissists.