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OCPD has a lot more to it than miserliness...she briefly mentioned the perfectionism and attention to detail such that the main point is lost (inefficiency), but I think this is a big part of it. It’s a lot about control. Having to have everything the way you want it, being stubborn or rigid.

I was just diagnosed with OCPD, and I know this is anecdotal, but I tend to be the opposite of miserly. I donate money and am generous to my detriment. I am more concerned about doing "the right" thing, and if I have money and someone doesn't, it seems like the wrong ethical thing to do by keeping it. I was only diagnosed this week and I started diving into research myself and I have to say your video series with Dr. Ramani is actually making me very sad. I don't want to classified as someone who no-one really likes, wants to be around and is the butt of a joke. Just thought I'd share because I have been ruminating on it for a few days.

I personally am this person. I also have OCPD. It does make me sad to see how they seem to feel about people like us. Like how we "suck joy" out of situations. It's never intentional. The hoarding money is not a choice. It's an obsession. When we go out with people, we don't want to make things noticable, so by the end of the night when the party wants to split the check it makes the person with OCPD uncomfortable because we spent the whole time worrying about how much money we were going to spend on the outting and justifying how we can afford it. Then all of a sudden the party wants everyone to pitch in for things they may not have even gotten, which raises the amount of expected amount the person with OCPD was going to pay. We don't mean to make people uncomfortable. The way the people described us feels like they don't truly understand, especially based on the guy's obvious cringe expression of people like us. Try to be patient with us and understand just a little. This is my view on the video and I could have gotten the wrong impression, but I'd love to hear other experiences!

Splitting checks doesn't seem to be a good example. I know A LOT of people who take advantage of situations like this. They rack up a bill with drinks and appetizers because they know they will pay only a fraction. They often get super cheap with the tip too. I try to avoid large dinner parties and only eat with people I know are on my wavelength.

Oh man, to have the luxury of not seeing $15 as a huge difference. I usually spend less than that total when I go out to eat.

My mom always says stingy with money stingy with emotions.

My father has OCPD I have OCD. It's really interested how you end up in similar situations as your parents regardless of how you live your life. Genetics man.

I have a friend who always orders more expensive items from the menu, plus dessert, and then wants to split the bill 50/50, every single time. Not once has she offered to pay her fair share. Now, instead of getting taken advantage of, I ask for separate checks when we go out. Her ordering habits have gotten considerably more frugal since we started getting separate checks. Nip that shit in the bud.

We just want to show our support and say how amazing your channel is, Medcircle! Thank you for all that you do and spreading awareness of mental health topics!

I never thought my late bestfriend had it. When she died her family found money in banks. All I knew was that she was being frugal she was very ungenerous. I had known her for about 15 years. Her family was kinda disappointed because that friend of mine had more than enough of money sitting in banks for her medical needs. Her mom and sisters had to loan for her but she had the money all along. Despite of it all, I understand her then and more because of this episode. I can only wish she had the help she needed to help her out of the mental issue that became a hindrance for her recovery. In the country I am in, unfortunately, this mental health issue is like 20 years behind. A lot of people don't have any idea. Thank you so much for the awareness that you bring to us @Medcircle.

My biggest issue with many of these videos, is that more often than not, there is a lack of EXPLANATION as to how these "disorders" develop in the first place. The goal of understanding psychology is to ultimately have more empathy, and not to weaponize a "disorder" against another in order to make yourself feel superior. These videos, particularly the ones with Ramani, almost seem to further perpetuate stigma surrounding those with mental comorbidities. Especially the way she speaks about these disorders as if they are something to be condemned, when in actuality they need to be understood, seeing as the vast majority of them are beyond an individuals control. In order for people to have a neutral perspective when viewing these matters, they need to understand not only what encompasses a given disorder, but also how one develops the disorder in the first place. Otherwise, to those who lack knowledge on the subject, it comes across as if those who possess a disorder are inherently evil or unstable, and that is not usually the case.

I had a family member who would invite a large group of us to meet him for dinner. He'd order the best meal, then at the end say "Well, let's just split it equally." It didn't take long for us to catch on so we'd say to the waitress at the beginning of the meal "separate checks please." It was after that that he would always stay at the table the longest, 'having to make a note of something' or whatever... any excuse. Then I saw him going around the table picking up everybody's tips. When I confronted him about it he said "If waitresses want to make more money, they need to get a different job." His only daughter was a waitress. He died a multimillionaire at the age of 50, with bad feelings from all of his children. So sad all the way around.

She is talking about my husband.

I like how this whole video was pretty much about how difficult it is for someone with OCPD to spend money and then he mentions that in order to learn more, you have to become a member on their website...a paid membership...

I’ve been going to therapy for my condition and I feel finally relieved being able to recognize these unhealthy habits and patterns in my everyday life. I often forget because of my dissociative amnesia but videos like these help me every morning to realize what is going on and that I am in control of my own body.

This is literally taking ONE of the lesser important characteristics of OCPD and blowing it out of proportion.....these videos are literal garbage. OCPD is most associated with rigidity of ethics and perfectionism, not spending habits?

Went on a trip with someone. I paid in advance for Airbnb and car rental. She owed me $590. My credit card would not work and I was stranded. I could not eat or do anything ..... she had the money she owed me in cash but would not give it to me just in case she needed it- my father had to wire me money!!! The rest of the week with this little monster was a disaster.

It's a control issue. I worked for people like this. The family had MILLIONS.They would not even pay for a cleaner for their business premises. It was actually unbelievable. They would rather leave dead cockroaches on the floor that clients would see than fork out for a tax deductible standard business expense. That was just one example. It really made no sense, and yes we all knew the monthly sales and profit figures so the business was doing well, now I understand what it was about, much more than economy, which was obvious. It' really counterproductive to growth in many ways.

My grandmother had a million in the bank and bought us 25 cent garage sale birthday gifts...

Whether it’s time or money- but especially time, in my case- I think it’s fine to speak up if it happens repeatedly, because this kind of thing adds up. Would you put up meeting with someone who was always late and making you wait for them? I don’t sweat a few bucks or a few minutes either way with friends or acquaintances, because it usually evens out over time. But I think it reflects more on the other person’s character if they continue to expect me to be the one to spend my extra time or throw in the extra money to make things work out. Graciousness on both sides should be a mutual recognition of keeping things relatively fair and equitable. It’s not even about the time or the money in the long run, it’s the principle.

The narcissists I’ve known are definitely pathologically cheap in the way she describes.

I value everything that Dr R has to say!! She is one very AMAZING Lady!! 😎

I know someone who exhibit almost all the symptoms mentioned; including being miserly and very controlling. Just yesterday we went to lunch and had to leave one restaurant because we were not seated quickly enough, and when we got to the other restaurant, she got very tense because we were not served quickly enough. The problem is she is a good friend and a maternal figure, and I don't want to alienate her.

i love it when you two are talking together .plus the dog

I wish these videos were longer!

I have symptoms of OCPD but they're not as constant as it may seem. For example: I am very organized and will try to schedule everything for almost everyday if not more than other days like breaks off from school and other responsibilities, but when I see something like overflowing garbage or clothing in a hamper I get very annoyed and irritated at it. Also I try my very best to keep money with me and not spend it, but it's mostly because of no income at the moment and me focusing on just my work for school. Also I realized sometimes I can be so focused in priorities and stuff that I barely make time for loved ones and sometimes it can pile up guilt and I feel terrible. The thing that bothers me the most is that even when I know I have no priorities I feel as if I have to be doing something productive because I don't want to just sit around doing nothing.

Really enjoyed hearing Dr. Ramani and Kyle speak. Very engaging public speakers. 3 persons having what I suspect is OCPD have recently crossed my path. I have past experience w/ persons who I believe have OCPD. Miserliness is not just about money. It can also be a lack of generosity with their spirit and time. It's a lack of empathy.

I saw O CPD through med circle. Thank you very much. I always wondered how I got into engineering with no degree and became a senior project engineer. Most people think that is weird but everything added up with O CPD. Even is. Even the frugal ness with everybody in the emotions.

Love all the people here who apparently didn't pay any attention to the video and realize this is not about Narcissist AT ALL, it's about OCPD

Thanks so much for these videos!!! So good and informative! 🤗🤗🤗👍👍👍👍

Very interesting. I'm always learning something from Dr. Ramani 💚

Man this reminds me of a famous athlete that we all know who within the last year or so took a branch of the service out for food.. This guy could have bought the the entire Academy lunch and it wouldn't have fazed him financially.. The cadets were so so excited.. that is until he told the server to split the bill.. this really helps me understand it better.. Thank you for the video..

I have OCPD, and while i am poor, i'm pretty generous with money and gifts. I also spend money i don't have. (credit card). However, getting overdraft fee's makes me very angry, and i try to avoid that at all costs. And while credit card interest bothers me, i don't let it worry as much as it should. (which accrues a lot more than overdraft fee's on my bank account). - But i am also pretty resourceful when trying to get stuff cheaper, or save money on bills.

Yes. Fits precisely with my experience of a narcissistic partner. Awful to live with. So controlling- but covertly so.

My mom had OCPD. She gave money every week to the church, but her kids went hungry at the end of the week.

It's easy to say no when there is a bigger yes that requires your resources.

I’m sure it is sad and people are people and all mental health is worn differently on people. I just met my first OCPD person. She was my landlord, seemed nice but weird. Sad odd things, broke multiple boundaries and violated space on many platforms on many subjects, showed up to my door crying uncontrollably unable to speak, demanded time and talks and then would have autistic like shut downs. As a landlord she had me living in bugs on broken and unsanitary beds and boxsprings. When I got my own, she got upset and needed another. More tears. Messages and videos of tears and then happy invites and suggestions. She would tell me my feelings, make demands, and overall was uncomfortable. She never told me she had OCPD but i guessed autism or bipolar depression. She didn’t listen, she needed to be comforted, watched what I did and who came over and then would tell me she did. She was disappointed in two fantasy’s she told me about that were weird and upset I wasn’t ready to be a part of it. It has been 20 days and too many talks. She finally told me she had OCPD and it makes so much sense. I know she drinks on Prozac as well and is mean, jealous, frigid, a hoarder, unstable and that while I was excited to live in the guest house for a few months, I’m moving out. 😂 it was shocking bc one minute she’s trying to be a best friend, then next she’s crying, giving me the silent treatment but watching me, then annoyed I have birthday plans and then angry. Then tried to convince me a broken bed with bugs in it was fine and that I have too high of standards. She kicked me out, and I panicked at first bc I’m exhausted. Then realized legally, as per her contract, she can’t! 😂 but she didn’t remember, bc she’s in some type of episode. Once my nervous system relaxed after 36 days or so of knowing her and watching her challenges and avoiding blame and placing boundaries multiple times a day, only for her to 12 hours later send ANOTHER VIDEO OF HER CRYING starting with: “I know you don’t want another video from me crying, but….” I feel relief and happiness! As a person who has been healing from childhood trauma and partner traumas and broke free… to this mess of a person or situation I am so glad I learned that I will never be around people that again. The fear is, what if I keep putting up with it. But it’s Impossible. I put this here bc while some of this is OCPD some is depression, rejection and just a person that hasn’t lived a life. Sounds like she’s been fired, on the outskirts of friend groups, known as weird and scared my friends when they came over. While I feel bad for her and she’s obviously lonely and maybe her meds are off… I learned I can have compassion but still get out of her odd world. She’s one person with ocpd and I’m sure many other people are more aware, even though a trait of OCPD is being NOT AWARE. Overall, happy I am not in her position. And happy I don’t have to see her again soon. She was exhausting. It was like Bi Polar mixed with complete FRIGIDITY. I have never met somebody as cold, inflexible, overly intrusive and involved yet unable to get anything done. I’ve never seen hoarding because of perfectionism and it was wild. As a recovering perfectionist, I was clean, organized, on time (way too early) orderly, have systems, codes, etc. It was a learning experience and I came here to learn from Dr Ramani!

My husband and his mother have OCPD undiagnosed. It is exhausting emotionally and mentally to have a relationship with a person who has a progressive personality disorder(by progressive, I mean won’t seek treatment so it gets worse). It’s DRAINING. Convincing someone that they need help who has OCPD is nearly impossible. I have had to learn to radically accept my husband, and focus on the wonderful parts of who he is, and accept the parts that can cause stress, worry, anxiety, etc🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️. This video was so validating to watch. Thank you for making it.

Absolutely no miserliness here. This is actually the first time I've heard of this is in relation to OCPD, of which my first memories develop around age 6. I am neither good nor bad with money; I was never taught or given any financial or economic skills/tools, and am now teaching myself as an adult. I always spent my money, with no thoughts of the future, and now in my early thirties I am educating myself so I can be a better example and provider to my children-so basically normal maturation. I just thought I'd share in hopes of bringing further awareness.

My son in law has been diagnosed with OCPD and he is a cheap, nit picking, passive agressive, control freak nightmare. His own family doesn't speak to him because he wouldn't attend all their kids birthday parties or get them presents, but wanted everyone to throw his kid a party. He also lived at home to nearly 30, and his parents did most of the raising of his son until my daughter came along and raises his kid. In his house now, he is ultra strict and picks at everything, unless it's him, then of course, he can do what he pleases, and rarely pitches in to clean, cook, etc.

I think my dad has this. He is not methodical or organized but frugality to extreme. He has come through many times in crisis and he has been generous (to family only) but on a day to day basis he will be yelling about some food going bad in fridge like bananas which are super cheap, he refuses to buy certain things like batteries, pay for most house maintenance, pay for services, pay for shipping. If I decide to pay for something like this with my money for his house there will be a lot of yelling involved as if I'm the most wasteful person in the world, which I'm not. He would bring printer paper from work. God forbid I decide to have something delivered if I have a crazy busy day (and no one will help me and certainly no one will go pick something up). He also often refuses to help in other ways. But in spite of this he has overcome this and shown up several times when it really mattered. I think he may be golden child of narc parents. Also has been sole breadwinner for a long time and may be stressed from that but this pattern was always there. He would probably give me money for clothes if I was broke but he refuses to buy himself a jacket or warm sweater for a while after he loses the one he has. Yelling at me over throwing out expired food. Definitely think he has this.

I had a roommate like this. It was really hard living with her, but I had to keep my mouth shut because I had no other options at the time. I gave her a $400 deposit - she ended up moving out and I took over the lease. She never gave me back my deposit. Had excuses, no remorse. She would ask me to grab her things from the gas station and never once did she try to pay me back. She also used the neighbors wifi, our friends, but refused to chip in on the bill because she "couldn't figure out how to transfer money to him". She was also very... hard to explain, really.. she wasn't a mean person, very easy to get along with, but she just doesn't care about anyone else but herself and never expressed empathy or shame. She was also a hoarder, and kept a very messy home with 3 dogs and 2 cats. But I'm trying to understand her better, always did, because even though I made her sound like a terrible person, she really wasn't. Never in a bad mood, never argues, never complains. I could never figure out if she used her lack of awareness to get away with doing bad things, or if she just didn't notice. This was long, but just hoping someone might comment with some perspective.

My husband has this. I’m trying to get us back in couples therapy. I 100% am doing my best not to let myself be too controlled. But a few weeks ago when I had to return gum to cvs I realized this is not within my or his control. It’s a penny wide pound foolish situation.

Ah as bad as this sounds this is me. And it's ruining my relationship...

You two are always great.

Yeah, I was surprised. This is such good content. Thank you.

Really interesting.

My sister is a viscious narcissist. Our mother died in a horrible accident 2 years ago and my sister had promised her to pay for the expences regarding the funeral (Our mum had given her a loan on 10.000 US Dollars on this condition). My sister had the funeral expenses covered from our mum's estate, which was shocking, but for whatever reason she had a change of heart 1 year ago. She declared that she was going to pay me half of that money back, but the 5000 US Dollars has been fragmented into 25 payments. Even though she has the means to pay the sum to me once. This is such an obvious attempt to have control over me, and it doesn't work. But it works for her and I'm sure she feels on top of the world every time she pays me crumbs!

She is so articulate and fascinating to listen too.

When you realize you are that person :'D If I didn't drink that expensive glass of wine you can take it off my bill, sir.

I think the miserliness with OCPD may have something to do with anxiety. There is rigidity involved as well. The gifts to his or her children would be paltry and cheap. I once received a terrible gift from my OCPD family member, a bright orange knitted scarf that was basically unusable because it was only decorative (and very ugly). It wouldn't have kept anyone warm. It couldn't have cost more than a few dollars, but he bought it from Carmelite nuns, which was the most noteworthy thing about the item. In that era, no one would have worn a florescent orange scarf.After that, I would tell him what he had gotten for me on my birthday or Christmas. It was usually a book I wanted to read, so it didn't break the bank, but I got something I could use. When I was in college and I needed help financially because I had loaned $50 to someone whose financial aid hadn't come through on time, and in my nervousness had made a mathematical mistake in my checkbook, the OCPD family member wouldn't help me even though he had the money to do so. If I hadn't figured out I would be able to use a credit card (that was only supposed to be used for identification purposes) at a health food store to buy food, I would not have had anything to eat for weeks. Basically, I was punished for being generous and for making an honest mistake. That's what makes having an OCPD family member quite painful. His personal rules, religiosity, and rigidity got in the way of his relationships with others.

I had never heard of this before, but i think i have realised that I do probably have this, and it is the root of so many of my issues around being controlling, a perfectionist who never finishes tasks, critical of others, miserly to an extreme (I will spend an hour searching Amazon to get the cheapest price, even if it means i pay £1.20 instead of £1.80), ungenerous and critical of others when they indulge because i refuse to.

I am having OCD for the past 10 years and it's really difficult now days for me to live a happy life OCD ruins my life and I am suffering alot now days I don't know when I am going to get out of this desease please God 🙏 help all of OCD sufferers.

This seems to be common with many personality disorders.

I think it would've been a good idea to refer to (and link) your first video on OCPD, so that people would understand what you're talking about. From reading the comments, it sounds like folks think you're just talking about stinginess in general-- when you're really discussing stinginess as it relates to a specific disorder, OCPD. Here's the link for anyone reading this comment: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/asBziMKD3d-nmY0.html Edit: Nevermind, I see that Kyle kind of fixated on miserliness and asked people to comment on it apart from whether or not OCPD is involved.

I am frugal; I have to be. I get accused of being miserly.

I am convinced my husband has OCPD and have been since I stumbled across this term 10 years ago. I have been with him 22 years and it is certainly not getting any better. An example of his miserly ways is that he may have a shopping cart handed off to him by another customer and instead of paying it forward, he will happily pocket the 25 cents. Along with that he is absolutely controlling and always and unequivocally is always right. As a matter of fact, he will say that.....he has done his "research" and whatever he says is truth.....not opinion and he is always right! It probably comes as no surprise, but he is very difficult to live with. I've tried to kick him out but he won't leave. I've tried to encourage him to go to counseling with me and he refuses. He's not all bad but....... I don't know how much longer I can take it!

You have to be really careful, though, about discerning whether a person not paying for something (e.g. not splitting drinks, especially if they haven't drunk anything) is miserliness or frugality. People who used to have money but have fallen on hard times, for example, can find it very difficult to say that they can't afford certain things. They might find it too awkward to mention their lack of money in advance, not least because they don't want others to offer to pay for them. It's a thin line, especially in situations where you don't know the person well.

Another great vid guys. I realize I'm a little late with this question, but would this personality also be miserly with compliments or encouragement?

I dated a man for many years who was undeniably a miser. The best illustration of his cheapness....Background first" this man was worth hundreds of millions of dollars. He owned a mutual fund. He owned 6 houses (no mortgages) all of them in very exclusive places. Bermuda, Boston (on the Public Garden), Sanibel Island, London England, you get the idea. He also owned a Mercedes His stomach was always bothering him (acid) so he always had someTums in his pocket aad ate them like they were candy. One day he was really suffering and I suggested he try a new product that was supposed to work wonders. When we went to the CVS I waited out side while he went in to buy this new product. When he came back out to the car I said something like Well?...his response was "do you know how expensive that stuff is?" (It cost about 4-5$ at that time) needless to say, he did not buy it.

Great summary. Another major important quality about OCPD is that it is egosyntonic. They don't think that it is a problem even if it is clearly maladaptive.

Okay so I didn’t think I had this symptom until he used the glass of wine example. I noticed people mentioned tipping and I have a strict opinion on tipping at least 15/20%.

Hi! I just wanted to ask, if a person was diagnosed with ocpd and get treatment will they be fully recover from the said disorder?thanks

I started to say something really judgy.[I have not had good experiences with these types] I credit this channel with the growth to not go down that route. It is about powerlessness vs the power to be kind and at peace.

MY ex Husband was exactly like this but he was reasonably generous with himself but only if he was the only one benefiting,If anyone else benefited including his children then he was stingy as hell.In fact if he was ever generous we checked to see how much alcohol he had drunk. He wouldn't let me. buy quality food for our dogs or kennel them when we went away,.He didn't want to pay for support services like baby sitters,house sitters ,friends who helped us get the hay in,Just incredibly calculating and tight. He was a millionaire on a good income and completely debt and mortgage free.

Idk $15 difference for a glass of wine is not a few dollars. 3-4 is a FEW dollars. I wouldn't split everyone else's drinks. Idk how I feel about this. The only way "a few dollars" is 15, is if your bank account has 6 figures. There's alot to factor in and I could type all day on it, but ain't nobody got time for that lol.

Hi. Interesting video. My father has many narcissistic traits. He is stingy with money. He has yelled at me in the past for me not being responsible with my 2 dollars (according to him) - he yelled, with rage. He also uses money to manipulate. Would love a video about the difference between OCPD miserly money tactics and NPD money tactics. I have heard that NPD's actually use money to get narcissistic supply, which sometimes means giving to the golden child and not giving to the scapegoat (eg. birthday, wedding gift, situations where giving should be from a place of love, etc.) and telling the scapegoat about the difference - scapegoat then gives attention to the narcissist usually negative supply. Personally, Overall, I don't think that this is such a cut and dry issue. Culture and a person's background, I think, also play a big role. My father was born on a farm just after WW2 in central Europe and then the communists took over, stole his father's farm; my father grew up rather poor and had to work hard for hours for even just a little bit of money - eg. to buy a university text book. My therapist says he will always be stingy. From what I have read he probably has NPD, yet it seems to be a sort of post-traumatic stress response (cPTSD?) - losing even one dollar seems to make him anxious and he uses power tactics to gain control even over the smallest issues - he becomes ragefull (the rage of a small boy who never felt safe, who had to work for four hours to make the equivalant of one dollar) - is is really uncontrolled irrational immature anger/rage or is it just a narcissistic power move - manipulation by indimidation using aggression???. My sister-in-law is the type who is irresponsible with her time, the time of others, entitled, usually late by hours and expects others to always help her with her stuff, that she didn't get done (I think because she was on facebook and out with friends) ….. she would be the one to have the lobster and two glasses of wine and expect to split the check evenly. In central Europe (former communist country) where I come from, even now after 30 years of democracy, when friends go out together for dinner, each person or couple pays what they ate - its normal and the waiters usually ask, if one check or separate checks - the check does not get split evenly - never. With my friends in SoCal (some American, some Asian, some European) we always paid our own consumption. Culture and personal history play a role. I think that in interpersonal relationships, assuming anything is dangerous and dysfunctional - communication about the subject is the functional solution - I think. Please more videos on this subject, especially comparing money in NPD and money in OCPD.

She wanted me to pay the electric bill permanently because I wanted to keep 1 extra floor lamp on which contained 2 LED bulbs which cost $1.08/year each (YES PER YEAR) ...So I got tired of arguing and gave her all my pocket change and told her to "Now please leave me the F&*k Alone...Thank You"

I think I may have OCPD, from what I have read so far online. When I go out, I get so distressed when it is time to pay, because I always feel that whatever I have to pay is too much, whether it is 20 ou 3 euro. I get to the point where I rather not go at all. It makes it hard to make plans with friends, because I am always the one saying "not there, not there either" and then I end up not eating or drinking anything because everything seems so expensive, regardless of the price. It is distressing for me and for other people. And that I have with everything, food, groceries, vacations, experiences. I always rather not go anywhere. Luckily, I am with someone who "gets me", even though this "issue" has never been mentioned as a problem. So we get to have our own very experiences with the lowest budget and, somehow, we travel and eat out sometimes, and though it always makes me unconfortable everytime I see money flying away, I try to focus on the good side of it, and what I got that I could not have gotten otherwise and it makes me feel a little better. But yeah, now I have thought about this, I truly believe I have OCPD. (That and the copious amounts of list and unfinished projects and many other things (: ) I get I should see a therapist.

So I have OCPD and one of my worst compulsions is spending money frivolously on myself and other people, especially my friends, but literally anyone else around me. I really don’t appreciate how confidently she’s saying these things like they’re facts. I’m not generous with my spirit or my time?? That’s literally my biggest downfall. “Comment below any examples below examples you’ve experienced of miserliness.” I hate to say it but I wish she had to confront OCPD for at least a day so she didn’t confidently tell people nonsense about it.

Can you please do a video about Reactivate Attachment Disorder in adults. There are endless videos for children and teens with RAD. I was diagnosed at 16 and frequently I forget to remember of my diagnosis as I'm trying to find if I fit in with narrissim, or BPD, histrionic and so on. But I never quite fit as I will relate to many of the subtle traits but never the most distinctive, as far as I am aware of.

Very informative; I learned a lot and have a more clear understanding. So I'm not a tight ass!😆 that's good to know lol great video

My best friend's dad was miserly when we were growing up. If she was hungry, he'd tell her to eat canned tomatoes from the pantry. He'd buy a big box of Tide powder detergent to use for washing everything -- clothes, dishes, your hands, etc. Dirty hands? Get 'em wet and dip 'em in Tide. He never 'splurged' on anything, never celebrated with a fancy meal, and he made her calculate and re-calculate sales tax over and over again on anything she wanted to buy. He had enough money to buy a house but insisted on renting a small place until his new wife forced his hand on it -- a woman he married at the courthouse with only his daughter in attendance. He only wanted to pay for the bare minimum on that affair, too. If he went on vacation, which was extremely rare, he'd only ever rent the cheapest motel room. Their family only went on vacation once in the time that I knew them, and while this is normal when times are tight, he definitely had the money at the time. I don't know that he had OCPD, but he definitely had something. My guess has always been Narcissism.

I was married to someone diagnosed with this through the court orders during the divorce. A nightmare.

Hey medcircle...serious question...I have BPD,ocd, did. But if I don't have some money saved I feel completely unstable. Being broke is a serious trigger for me. But I'm willing to pay for my items or go to movies or dinner w/ friends . I don't mind spending as long as it doesn't cause me to be Low on cash or below a certain amount. Is this the same as oCPD?

How to treat and help those kind of people.. sometimes they weren't like so, but they turned to this becoz of different phasees of life. What to do when they are believed ones

Been married to one for 46 years! No empathy, no sympathy or support!

I don’t think this aspect of OCPD has to be miserly, especially if someone’s way to be in control with others (way to be liked) is by generosity. I know these people, who are OCPD in every way, and who will spend generously on others but what is left for themselves...they hoard, just in case. It’s “worst case scenario” thinking across the board but the worst case scenario of being unliked outweighs the worst case scenario of being broke. It depends on the values of the person with OCPD...if money is most important, they are miserly. If being liked is most important, they are maybe miserly with themselves but generous with others.

what about the people that order drinks and food in a group dinner at a restaurant and then tries to avoid paying anything? they leave before the bill comes or disappears to the bathroom when it comes to paying the bill?

For several years I worked as a Budget Committee Secretary for a town and I did the meeting minutes and a third of the committee members fit this diagnosis. They nearly brought down the town through their frugality and refusal to pay for anything (even things the town and local school desperately needed), I ended up quiting.

I know such a person but he spends on himself, not that much but still. So will he be in this criteria?

Just figured out my ex was OCPD and likely narcissistic. Would love to hear a compilation of stats from researchers about comorbidity of narcissism and other mental health diagnosis.

I’m not that cheap. I know I like the feeling of security of money. But at the same time I do spend on my self. And I sometimes I go overboard

My husband fits this description plus more.....you mentioned that he'll go to dinner but has issues with the bill. My husband will not even go to dinner if he can help it.....if he does, he feels obligated, for ex for my birthday, but will constantly complain about the price ($40 will put him over the edge) and the wastefulness of eating out. I've learned to cope by doing what I want without him.

My baby's father has obsessive compulsive personality disorder and it is so pitiful he did not even buy him a Christmas present or make him anything even though hes very creative very sad.

I’d be curious to know how the development of this disorder compares to something like an eating disorder or the like, where the sense of maintaining control over situations and emotions is expressed in an externalised way. I’d also be curious to know what role being the victim of abuse or growing up in a dysfunctional environment plays in it. Or just what roles culture and poverty play. I feel like it would be fascinating to compare the prevalence of this disorder across cultures where the focus is more communal and less individualistic.

I was just diagnosed with OCPD, but I’m extremely generous (to a fault) because I have this obsessive need to be seen as a good person. Does anyone else with OCPD feel like this?

So where can a person receive help for this? What therapy would be the best?

I have some symptoms of ocd and ocpd but i am very generous, i give all my money to others, nothing for me. I give a lot of my time and effort to others and not myself. I don't care to go out unless I have a need

Us engineers, tend to also have OCPD in other areas of life. It can be an asset, depending on how the traits are used. I solve problems quickly and do it well. I'm not miserly in the normal way, but I have managed my money, as well as taken risks to make money grow. My father is misery, and it has never served him. He's also miserly with his time, which is why we have no relationship as of today. I would like to hear the experts talk about the the fact that people with OCPD, don't have ALL the symptoms at one time. Also, please tell people how we also have very special talents and nobody can do what we do because of our ability to focus. The trait you call "miserly" is also part of being Asperger's and our need to not get over-whelmed by people. It's important that people know the difference. Many successful people, that gave us the benefits of our lifestyles today, had OCPD symptoms, but were also Aspergers.

I briefly dated a guy like that, I got rid of him quickly enough, now he sends me death threats for refusing to be his gf when he was not only stingy but also stinky eeeeuuuuu so gross.

my father fits the crtieria. he was diagnosed with ocpd several times and refuses to get a treatment.

Can someone have OCPD and not be miserly at all??

Gosh I go through sod it and stingey stages. Like I save up for a bouncy castle for my kids that like 500 quid, yet feel outraged at the 3.50 delivery charge when getting a takeaway lol which can sway me to not buy it. Whats that about?

When you come to a place trying to figure out if you’re crazy and realizing it’s the person you’re with that nuts.

My narcissistic ex.. Sorry, I can't diagnose so I'll say he had tendencies lol. He wouldn't buy anyone a birthday gift unless they had bought him one.. But at any family dinners he made sure he tried not to chip in and even took the extra money from the tip left on the table because those people left too much. He put it on his pocket though and paid for parking with that

I know a Doctor who used to be a Vet tech who refused to take ticks off a stray dog ( had atleast 50 on it) , that was clearly suffering, bc she wouldn't get paid for it.She said. "Not on the clock, not my dog; besides it will only pick up more." It crushed me because she is so despicable to those who suffer.

Oh man. I grew up with a mother who has a severe case of OCPD. I think the symptoms were always there, but they really became out of control in her 50's-60's. It's also been hard to explain to people what is "wrong" with her, but I can try to break down my experience with OCPD: 1. It is very easy to mistake as just narcissism. It is a lot more than that though, and often people with OCPD have quite the opposite - feelings of intense self-loathing and meekness more akin to BPD. 2. The hardest symptom is the hoarding. The hoarding is insane. And it is also the first majorly telltale sign that all is not well in their mind. Do not take "haha yeah I hoard, teehee" lightly. It's funny when people are young, but it is often an indicator for full blown, untreated OCPD that is developing. 3. Religion is VERY appealing. Be ready to deal with layers of challenges when confronting OCPD, as you will often be fighting against their stingy rules more than the person - rules which they often will adopt from a religion or other power structure, etc. 4. Everyone they come into contact with will get the "off" feeling from them. You will get tired of people asking "what is their issue?" And never being able to fully explain it, or get a fully detailed question from the observer besides something just "isn't right about them." It's a tough life. And it's sad to watch. Don't miss the early signs, and please refer people to therapy. I wish I had saved my mother from herself when I was younger.

I have been working with my therapist for over a year now. She’s made it clear that she wouldn’t diagnose me yet with OCPD, but I carry a lot of the same traits from it and OCD, & mine is trauma based. I don’t resonate at all with the money thing though. I always struggle with money, so maybe that’s why I don’t. If I were rich, maybe it would become a control thing. Seems I can’t keep money, I have the opposite problem lol