"If I said gentleman, I meant scoundrel"

the main thing i remember about the greatest showman is that the bearded woman shaved her armpits but not her beard that she was ashamed of

There's only one spank, and it's Spanky Gazpacho.

i remember voting no because the possibility of him enjoying it doesn’t outweigh the possibility that he hates it. there’s like a 5% chance that he moans and i can’t handle that emotionally

I'm your middlest brother, Travis...

I voted No Thanks because, as much as I would love to induce even a fraction of the pain on him that he has inflicted on this world, I would have to immediately cut off my arm and burn it, and I doubt I'd be able to hit hard enough for it to be personally worth it.

"I hope they don't reboot Frasier"

"Teens are just wild about fractions these days!" talking about getting ratio'd gets me

It’s time to break out the yaoi paddles folx. It’s the only thing that could possibly do as much damage as Travis’ massive 2x9 of a hand

🅱️olitics

"Please think," he says about people responding to something mildly resembling politics.

very funny listening to this post-Fraiser reboot announcement. whups! they went and done did it.

Nothing on Twitter has ever infuriated me as much as 52% yea on Greatest Showman

I would do it, but i definitely would want a glove or paddle so i dont have to touch him butt Edit: that corporeal punishment joke deserved better

injurious spanking

I see you shiver with travis

isnt this the plot to the first black mirror episode

The fact that there’s a Frazier reboot now...

There are no public figures I wouldn't spank, if doing so was consequense-free for me.

I voted No because the thought of touching Donald Trump with my own human hand was so repulsive to me that I physically cringed away from my phone screen.

I would rather catch fire spontaneously than physically touch any part of donald trump, with our without clothing. Fuck, even if I had a thick glove on. No. Thank. You.

Drump spank line

Modren era

I remember voting no bc if I’m given the opportunity to hurt Donald Trump I want to be able to choose how and see if there’s someone I can negotiate with about that. At most though if I did say yes to the original terms, I’d try and see if I could use a tool or something to carry it out with, otherwise I’d have to cut off my hand afterwards :/