Negotiation expert: Lessons from my horse | Margaret Neale

Negotiation expert: Lessons from my horse | Margaret Neale | TEDxStanford

Рет қаралды 229,278

8 жыл бұрын

Co-author of Getting (More of) What You Want, award winning researcher and management professor Margaret Neale admits she doesn’t always take her own advice. In an honest talk about her personal experience, and based on her philosophy that “you can’t force someone to say yes,” Neale explains why her horse, Sal, may be the best reminder that successful negotiation is not a battle.
Margaret Neale is the Adams Distinguished Professor of Management at the Graduate School of Business at Stanford. She was honored with the Robert T. Davis Award for Lifetime Achievement and has served as the GSB’s academic associate dean. She is the author of over 70 articles, one research series, and four books. Her most recent book co-authored with Thomas Lys, Getting (More of) What You Want, was published by Basic Books last year.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

Пікірлер: 62

@majid8964 3 жыл бұрын

This is one of the best TED talks I've watched, thank you Margaret (and Sal) for this valuable lesson

@batialexis9339 Ай бұрын

it was one of the worst, made up stories are like disney movies. we want real life bussines situations not made up bs.

@abigaelrarts2257 3 жыл бұрын

This is so impt with children. It's up to us as the knowledgeable adults to take responsibility and be flexible and not resign to saying, "they're the kid, i do everything for them, they need to do what i want." Parent and child relationships are partnerships, even if as a parent you feel they need to earn their place in your household.

@aliteiacs 8 жыл бұрын

This is great lesson, not only about negotiations. I saw love, humble and respect increasing since she decided do not give her up. Lovely.

@SaddleUpAgain 5 жыл бұрын

As a rider who is not a youngster anymore, I no longer have the ability to force a solution on my horse. As a friend told me after I was thrown, "you don't bounce as well as you used to." So horse training for older, more savvy riders is a negotiation founded on building trust and relationship. An added benefit of a trusting relationship is that it supports finding good solutions when new issues arise -- like a bear crossing the trail in front of you.

@amberlihartwellacting Жыл бұрын

This is an amazing talk so helpful because once you understand the problem the solution reveals itself - thankyou

@HughLlewellyn 8 жыл бұрын

I personally loved this. (Dressage under a western saddle made me smile.) I went through much the same journey with my hot-blooded, scared-of-his-own-shadow Arabian gelding. I learned how to project calmness, and to relax my body despite my own fears, as my horse tensed, spooked, and leapt under me. So he would understand that I was not afraid, so he didn't need to be. I learned that ASKING him for what I wanted, in a way that didn't threaten him, got me rewards. Forcing him into fight or flight mode caused us both to lose. I ended up with an amazing, responsive, trusting partner of 24 years. I have carried those lessons from training my horse into all other areas of my life. I totally get this video. Thank you.

@MsGnor 7 жыл бұрын

Great comment Hugh :)

@JodieDavisCuckooClockArtist 5 жыл бұрын

There is such a thing as cowboy dressage! If you haven't checked our Buck Brannamsn do yourself a favor and but his dvd set. I came back to riding a few years ago after decades away and was surprised to find that "Western" is where I'm learning classical riding.

@shelafite Жыл бұрын

I thoroughly enjoyed this! Great video, and I learned more from this one than all the others I've watched! Thank you, Margaret Neale.

@z.kuwait5277 4 жыл бұрын

Enjoyed every bit of this talk! Thank you!

@loueckert4970 7 жыл бұрын

Damn, what a powerful lesson. Thanks Sal!

@Woody54321 5 жыл бұрын

Terrific story and talk. Thank you Margaret

@YaqubMohammed 4 жыл бұрын

A very good approach..... paradigm shift is imperative in the process of negotiation.

@chiaki7917 2 ай бұрын

I love that feeling. It's true that it takes some work developing a relationship and agreement with a powerful animal such as a horse. I love the bond I worked to get with the quarter horse I had growing up. His previous owner would hit him in the face and he was head shy and stubborn. I spent some time showing him that we could make good partners

@zen-ventzi-marinov 6 жыл бұрын

Short notes: but the difference is that Sal(horse name) now sees me as a source of support and comfort for her. She sees me as someone who will make things happen and keep the bad things away. focus on solving the problem not winning the battle the minute you find yourself in a power struggle or a battle in a negotiation you have already lost We need to have a clear goal but also need to focus on how to get there.

@bhawanadubey7910 3 жыл бұрын

@vishalnangare31 2 жыл бұрын

🙌

@Lilly-wd9de 6 жыл бұрын

Thank you......so much to learn...

@fizzaasif3304 3 жыл бұрын

Beautifully explained

@daneal7874 2 жыл бұрын

What a great presentation!!!

@thehorsebackheroine5950 6 жыл бұрын

Well well well...what a brilliant analogy Margaret. Thank you for your humility and compassion and as I look at other 'horse talks' in preparation for my own Tedx Folkestone talk in June, I think that you and I are cut from the same cloth:-)

@robertgabuna355 5 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Ma'am! I affirm negotiation requires flexibility; partnership not confrontation; solve problem, not fight.

@prernakohli3936 4 жыл бұрын

really wonderful

@geovanamaria5220 5 ай бұрын

That was amazing!

@conniekadansky9093 6 жыл бұрын

Excellent story teller integrating negotiation skills that are memorable because of visuals.

@carolined3058 5 жыл бұрын

well spoken

@MsGnor 7 жыл бұрын

I enjoyed this talk but for me it was more about building trust. Great value for me if I look at it that way. I have a hostile boss. I'm looking to improve my people skills while also wondering if I'm better off elsewhere.

@simongonzalez9182 7 жыл бұрын

MsGnor read the book getting more of what you want it is extremely useful in many fields of life.

@MUSTAFIZURRAHMAN-ur3wr 6 жыл бұрын

MARGARET NEALE and PLEASE, keep IT up

@lepilotebeaugosse 8 жыл бұрын

It's really great seeing the passion and all, I also have a horse and I speak the same way about mine too, but seriously the talk is about negotiation, and while the analogy with Sal the horse is sort of a valid one, it is also kind of a little far fetched and certainly does not justify spending literally half the time talking about her.

@theschoolofbodylanguage Жыл бұрын

Fabulous ❤❤

@rowanwood5397 4 жыл бұрын

so the moral of the story is to focus on negotiating a balanced outcome instead of focusing on winning. but how do you apply this to a legal battle, where it is commonplace to try to beat or hurt your opponent? if one side is not striving for balance, it would be much harder to achieve a harmonious ending. or, maybe it really only requires one side to strive for this balance, so long as the one side has the authority of intelligence to achieve this result (such as in the case of speaker with the horse).

@DP52879 Жыл бұрын

I love just how she wore that bulky belt, blue jeans, and a jacket. Women can look powerful too.

@Music-A 6 жыл бұрын

I think this video could have be made in 1min. Since there’s one idea, and I think the example using a weaker specie is not so well...

@JodieDavisCuckooClockArtist 5 жыл бұрын

You missed the entire point.

@ariffnoor1606 4 жыл бұрын

Horses are excellent and beautiful creatures in their own right, as are you and I.

@Music-A 4 жыл бұрын

Ariff Noor true

@Music-A 4 жыл бұрын

The American Cuckoo Clock Company possible :)

@vishalnangare31 2 жыл бұрын

2021,

@DabneyFountain 5 жыл бұрын

Now I have to find a horse to negotiate with? I didn’t get it.

@lilakumari9554 4 жыл бұрын

Lokďòhaŕlohàri.ok

@Rosie-KM 2 жыл бұрын

Damn

@TheBrettonia Жыл бұрын

skip to 13:20 so u cna see teh actual answer xD

@augustaverbian 5 жыл бұрын

Now i knew that I need a horse, instead of girlfriend... wkwkkwkwkwk

@quidich9787 Жыл бұрын

Трухан Екатерина Владимировна, можете отвечать пани почаще. Потому то у неё уже сдают нервы и она готова к захвату Польши со своим коллегой Таней!

@mrazzzenko5122 Жыл бұрын

Пан фактит!!!!

@lyudmilaworrall295 Жыл бұрын

supper talk see me on You Tube

@rayhanvlogs 5 жыл бұрын

its not even funny why are people laughing

@yasserarafat8914 11 ай бұрын

Sorry didnt learn anything from this......This doesnt apply in corporate account

@TheBrettonia Жыл бұрын

okay but get to the point already u dont need so much intro....... this whole clip could hve been 3 mins ...

@junkjunk2493 6 жыл бұрын

i didnt learn anything

@elsagrace3893 6 жыл бұрын

junk junk me too except that I learned that she is a big and loud mouthed drama queen

@forumulator800 6 жыл бұрын

I think the main lesson here is go to equestrian school before you try to ride a horse

@fyzanur5275 6 жыл бұрын

that equestrian will not put a software inside the horse ! they will use negotiation too

@thehorsebackheroine5950 6 жыл бұрын

It's interesting that you have that 'lesson' from this talk Forumulator. And I like the way you say 'trying' to ride a horse. The first lesson that you will hopefully learn is 'Will the horse allow you on it's back'. If you are not taught this lesson then please find a place that will show you how to know when the horse is inviting you to get on it's back.

@RideLikeaViking 5 жыл бұрын

I really can`t think of an equestrian school that teaches riders to negotiate with horses. I think the traditional riding schools rather teach how to control horses. If the horses don`t fit in this schooling system they are not used in riding lessons. You can learn this with your own horse, if you are lucky enough to get a so called hard to train horse and don`t give up in the process, but seek answers outside the traditional path of horsetraining.

@SaddleUpAgain 5 жыл бұрын

@@RideLikeaViking I think many traditional riding schools teach basic skills, but they don't teach the relationship you need to move beyond basic skills or move out of the schooling arena and ride outside. Certainly Ride like a Viking emphasizes the importance of building trust and connection in working with your horses. Tusen Takk for sharing this!

@jamesuwanta6203 5 жыл бұрын

Reason am skeptical about female speakers they are not logical and definitive. Am a how to person. Feel like I just wasted 15 minutes on what should have been 1minute

@roshnik5137 3 жыл бұрын

Lol typical Male ego. All the best with that attitude of yours