I wanted to finally open up about what my life has really been like ❤ Please note: there's flashing candlelight from 13:54 to 14:27. Mental health looks different for everyone, so these are just my experiences and what I have learned along the way. Also, I am not a doctor and none of this is medical advice. If you are in emotional distress, please contact your doctor, emergency services, or 988lifeline.org/

I don't think any creator should feel obligated to do a "day in my life" video. That said, your struggles with mental health issues resonate for me and I'm grateful for your vulnerability and openness. CPTSD is a real pain, right? I'm glad you've come to a better place with yourself. We all deserve to experience a life of joy and safety. ❤ And the cinematography in this video is just gorgeous.

The borderline between private and public is very blurred on KZfaq and you tread it with courage and delicacy, which is having (even just from the comments) a positive impact on so many people. But don’t ever feel you’ll lose your audience if you step back away from the personal. Your content very much speaks for itself - every carefully planned, beautifully filmed and meticulously edited shot says as much about joy/gratitude/quiet living as anything you tell us about your experiences. Such is the nature of the very best paradoxical relationships.

I randomly found this video. I really needed it. I cried through a lot of it because it made me feel less alone in my suffering and my own C-PTSD. I have been doing EMDR for my trauma as well. It’s taking a long time but it’s slowly working healing miracles in my life. I’m so sorry for your hurt and suffering. ❤️Thank you so much for this video. It was very touching and helpful for me. ❤️

Filling the cup to the brim and taking in the first sips to avoid spilling when picking up the cup might be the most relatable moment I've seen on a KZfaq video

I am sooo happy you are doing better and finding more joy in your life. It is so hard to find contentment whith PTSD/c-PTSD. Your hard work is paying off and I am grateful you feel safe enough to share this with us.❤

I also have C-PTSD, and had an odd feeling that was where you were going with this. Sending love & healing your way. 🌈

Thank you for opening up. It took me years (close to two decades) to finally get the help I needed. It's not that there weren't any health professionals around, but that I tried so desperately to "have" what they diagnosed me with. Certainly, three years ago, the landlord canceled my lease, my boss cut my hours, than Covid and I got let go from my job while in a psychiatric hospital. And finally, I met the woman who changed my life, my therapist. It was tough going, I went through the motions but now I have a new job, finally the lessons learnt are not mere intellectual ideas but have real life use. And I look around and am carefully joyful. Sometimes I am scared that it will be snatched away, this hope, finally having MY space in society. Thank you for having the strength to tell your story. People talk how they survived cancer and we, who have survived "ourselves" (I have tried to be gone several times), feel almost ashamed of talking about our remarkable journey. Stay safe, stay content, stay connected. Much love from Germany!

Also, this was incredibly brave of you ❤

I have PTSD and ADD and the “doing the simplest of things each day has been a challenge for me” really resonated. Getting into a routine, sticking with it and not just floating through life unaware is such a hard thing to overcome, especially when you would rather not be present/have the memories flood in. ❤ you’re one of my favorite people online. Thank you for this glimpse into your life.

I'm very glad you're here.

As someone on their own complex mental health journey, thank you for sharing your story. Therapy really should be fully accessible to everyone any any country that doesn't permit this is doing their citizens a major disservice and costing themselves (or their citizens, depending on whether they have universal health care or not), far more money down the line in medical bills.

You have every right to keep your life as private or public as you want. But I am truly grateful for what you shared in this video, this is exactly what I needed to hear today; I teared up many times throughout it. I am struggling with my mental health, but am unable to do anything about it at present. Thank you for being vulnerable. You didn't have to be, but because you were, I don't feel so alone anymore.

brave! you're amazing, keep going and best of luck with the mental/physical health going forwards

I can relate; my depression began at age 11, too. I eventually learned I'm autistic, years too late for any help in childhood, and that helped a bit, just knowing. But I still struggle, and am watching this video with wide eyes and even renewed hope. I really admire your bravery and spirit, and see SUCH an old soul when I look at you. I can tell you've been through a lot, yet here you are, being present every moment. I wish you all the good luck and happy surprises in the world.

This is an extremely brave and bold video. Thank you so much for your openness, and I hope that you continue to be well from now on. Massive hugs to you 🤗🤗🤗

I did EMDR for several years when I was in therapy. I was in therapy for 20 years. I too have CPTSD, PTSD, social anxiety and depression. I also self-diagnosed that I could be Low needs Autistic as well. For the record, I’m a 5 time SA survivor starting about the tender age of five or six. My life has been and still is difficult. I’m now 71 years young. I wish you peace, calmness and contentment. Love your channel.

Seeing you in this light gives me hope that my c-ptsd won't always keep me from enjoying life. Miigwetch (thank you) for being here and for sharing your experience.

"The Body Keeps Score" was the book that helped me start freling safe in my body with CPTSD. It is wonderful and healing to see comraderie and solidarity expressed in your video and the comments. We are not alone. ❤ Im very proud of everyone here for doing their best to take care of themselves when they can. We deserve it.

I'm so proud of you, you really have moved mountains to be where you are now! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

ADHD and depression here, the depression being caused by undiagnosed ADHD. During my worst times of depression, I stayed in a darkened room all day and couldn't do anything. That lasted for about 2 years. I still feel that this time of my life was just... lost. I didn't really live it, it simply passed me by while I was standing still. So I get what you mean. I find it incredibly courageous that you opened up in this manner and talked about it so openly, because this is really, really hard. And I'm so happy for you that you're feeling better. But please know that you don't have to do that again just because you did it once. Everyone needs at least the privacy of their own head.

I'm glad you found the correct diagnosis! I'm a fellow c-PTSD sufferer. I'm impressed at all the things you did in this video, it's so very calming. I hope to find energy to do more cosy things like you did here 😊

Thank you for your courage to tell your story. It helps those of us who aren't ready to tell our own yet.

Thank you for your bravery in sharing this, and I'm so glad you got the correct diagnosis. I, too, spent years in therapy with an incorrect set of diagnoses, plateauing after minimal progress. Two years ago, I started with a new therapist who recognized that I had C-PTSD in our first session. (I am grateful for her expertise, as the current psychiatric discourse recognizes that emotional abuse can also cause PTSD, even though the DSM has not yet caught up to acknowledge it, too.) My progress in that time has been astounding. I have cut contact with my abusers, grown in my Christian faith, am actively improving my relationships, and have so much hope from my decrease in symptoms. As you shared in your video, it truly is life-changing. ❤

Once again I'm so moved by a video of you 🖤 Being so vulnerable is truly admirable, I wish you all the best in your healing journey, so happy you're getting better!

As a fellow cptsd survivor, thank you for sharing this part of yourself. ❤

Aw this is beautifully written. I'm also in a better place on my journey with mental illnesses. I'll have them forever, but the effort I put in daily toward feeling functional and finding happiness has been so worth it. I'm saving this video because it resonates deeply. I carry a lot of guilt and grief over the years I lost to mental illness, but I know now my body and mind were doing the best they could as I fought to exist. I can hear how hard you've worked - you must have a great therapist, because I can hear them through your words. We are worth the effort it takes to feel happy, to exist in peace 🫶 all the best to you and your journey

You are incredibly courageous to open up as you have. I hope that responses will show that you are not alone! So many people, especially in recent years have become mentally unwell. I think that beautiful, sensitive souls suffer most, and it is not their fault, but the fault of a world that lacks empathy and compassion all too often. Your videos are beautiful and inspirational to so many! The world needs that, and the world needs you!

Thank you for sharing. My husband has CPTSD. You are right that healing is so dependent on the right therapist and environment. It is so lovely to hear you on the path to recovery.

I could type a novel down here in response to the emotions this made me confront, but i won't. All I'll say is that it cannot be a coincidence this video found me today. I know in my heart that my cat, and best friend of 13 years, who recently passed has led me here. I know I need to take another of the many massive leaps we all have to make to take my life back. Thank you stranger on the internet.

I'm unsure if I should "thank you" for this video; that sounds a bit... I don't know, I can't explain it. But I'm still going to say thank you. And thank you for not giving up. I lost my best friend from depression a couple of years ago, and since then (in only these two and a half years), I've felt there are so many new things, new ways to treat people, and new explanations for past diagnoses that I feel angry she didn't keep on going for a little bit longer. But I totally understand why she gave up; that's the scary and sad part. It also makes me even more grateful for everyone else who keeps on going, knowing (only secondhand, though) how hard it is to keep on going when it seems like not just the world but your whole body is working against you. I also want to say thank you for your videos! They're so good and so different from others. I love the slow pace

The 14-minute and 53-second video felt more like a powerful TED talk on self-love, self-care, and inner peace than a typical "day in my life" KZfaq video. Although I may not personally relate to the struggles mentioned, I truly appreciate the determination and strength it takes to share such intimate details. This kind of content is rare and valuable on KZfaq these days. Thank you again for the beautifully made video and content. ~ Your new subscriber.

Thank for this wonderful video. I have been nearly completely unable to form connections with others for most of my adult life. Diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, social anxiety, and probably c-PTSD, my high effort attempts to improve on this have been marginal for over a decade, even with therapy, medication, and meditation. Lately I have been on the fence with throwing in the towel on attemptting to create human connections, finding a way to accept I am unwanted, and how live a unfulfilling life, completely isolated sithout anyone else. Your video gave me a lot to think about, and I’m going to keep at it a bit while longer, with a few more approaches to consider.

Hi....Randomly, one evening whilst skimming through youtube videos to alleviate my insomnia, "the algorithm" saw fit to include one of your uploads on my dashboard...I have been a avid follower and subscriber ever since. Your content is both insightful and soothing to me, akin to a bedtime story. I'm a chef and musician living and working in London, UK. I just finished watching this video on your past mental state and wanted to let you know that your content has and continues to be a joy and major help to my mental state...I feel like my whole day is 200mph and then I watch your videos and the brakes are gently applied....Please know that I appreciate what you do and its absolutely key my present happiness and wellbeing....Thank you

This resonated so much with me. At 58 yrs old I have taken a back seat on the world. I just want to be able to get through each day as well as I can. I am happy in my existence, probably the happiest I have ever been. My crafts are my salvation and I am grateful for every day of peace. Hoping you continue to progress and Thankyou for sharing.

Thank you for this! I never expect you or anyone else to share personal information or feelings they aren't comfortable sharing. Sometimes it is a truth we need to share, even though it is also difficult to be so vulnerable, and those stories are very valuable! It can be very disheartening to constantly be faced with doubt and ignorance when you try to reach out for support and use your voice to gain some understanding, so I find it immensely valuable to have these shared experiences with others who do understand - and to find different perspectives on similar experiences. I have self-diagnosed myself (as it isn't even a formal diagnosis yet) with cPTSD which is strongly interlinked with growing up as an undiagnosed autistic ADHDer with (still undiagnosed) somatic issues. The only times I've felt better and like I might recover somewhat from chronic burnout/fatigue and depression has been when I have taken measures to treat the trauma. Unfortunately, I don't have access to appropriate therapy right now, so I have to treat it the best I can on my own. But having some sense of community is a vital part of healing, I think. Especially when attachment is wounded. Thank you for sharing your truth. ❤

we are on the same journey, it seems. Somatic, overintellectualized, dissociated and isolated. I really feel that I'm attracted to your videos because that work of connecting to the indigenous roots of our ancestors, to the lessons they taught that we never had the chance to learn, whether in sewing, cooking, tending the land, tending our bodies- this is the same work as somatic healing. We are all slowly reforesting the place that our soul lives. Reforesting our own selves, and ending the reign of terror from which we all feel as generational scars. best wishes, may your bowl never be empty

I cried a little seeing your real smile ❤ So much of what you’ve shared echoes my own experiences, especially dissociation. I’m so glad to hear you have some excellent supports, and it’s helping. Thank you for your openness. I hope it feels healing 💕

Thank you for your candor Vasi.

As someone who has been on a long path of healing myself, I’m so proud of you for keeping the light of hope alive in your heart. 💕

I started watching your channel because I enjoy history and found your take on it with your historical fashion quite interesting, and have enjoyed many of your videos. This one however deeply connects with me on so many levels. Kudo's to you for keeping on keeping on. I know from personal experience how difficult that may be to do. escapism and disassociation becoming the norm instead of the exception. I find that statements such as what you just did help me and encourage me to do the same, proof that there are others who know the struggle and understand and are also successful in remaining. So... Thank you. I also realized that this video is 9 months old and you will likely not see this but I am typing this as it is the only way I know to express the gratitude I currently feel.

This video was visually and emotionally beautiful, thank you for sharing with us ❤

Thank you so much for showing this kind of courage. I have been in some kind of psycho - /body therapy since I was 24 - now I am 64. Some Years ago I learned about the terms: C PTSD and Developmental Trauma - and it is changing my life. It is first and foremost focusing on the whole person and on different ways to work with trauma and not just speech therapy. I have also paid most of the therapy myself - could probably have bought a new house for the money. For me it has been a question of life or no life at all. I am now starting on the last path of my pilgrim road working with Internal Family System to sort some deeply traumatic issues out. thank you again for your honesty.

This video truly spoke to my soul, and to my experience dealing with my own mental health. I too have been diagnosed with OCD (pure O) and adhd. I cannot even being to express how grateful I am for the creation of such a wise, compassionate and inspiring video. Several moments lead me to bawl from feeling recognized and seeing as to how I am still not alone, no matter how long or complex my journey. Your words about the body doing the best it can to protect itself opened up the floodgates for addressing the frustration I often feel with myself for presenting symptoms. I held myself while I wept, asking myself for forgiveness for being so hard on me, and recognizing every part of me is doing the best it can. This is truly a piece of art I will be referencing in the future. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

You're so amazing!! I've been through a very similar journey as you and found a lot of peace and comfort in sewing and creating clothing based on historical techniques. For me, this helped me to get into my body, to slow down and take space to be more intentionally and this helped me to not only create distance from some of the habits and cultural stuff that was hurting me, but to also reflect on who I wanted to be and how I wanted to live. It's been such a rare privilege to be able to witness your journey.

I’m so glad you’re feeling safe and happier! A slow life is SO GOOD for our mental health!

I'm so glad that you're getting better. Having mental health issues can be very difficult, as I can attest to myself. In my case, medication has helped a lot, but it's mainly just to help me not sink down too low. I think having a good support system is the best thing anyone could have, and I don't know where I would be without mine. I'm also glad that you acknowledged that not every therapist is for everyone - you definitely have to click with the person you're going to. (Mine talked a lot, which wasn't very helpful, so I stopped going to see them.) I hope you have the space to be yourself, to feel, and to really experience your life. Good luck with your mental health journey!

I tried living like a healthy person, ignoring my disability, and of course it wasnt working, therapy, meds and learning about my disability helped a little bit, the accomodations I could make for myself, but it wasnt enough. Today I talked with my psychiatrist about getting official disability status, he said with my ADHD and long lasting Depression and anxienty I will probably get it. This would also help me find a job that I can manage. And I also am the type of person who tries to help others especially if they have simmilar things going yet I very often forget to help myself.

So glad you have an excellent therapist and that you're getting into a better place. Also braiding sweetgrass is an amazing book.

You are a very brave and lovely young lady, I have had some real problems in the past and sometimes they come back, listening to you has helped me no end. I wish you all the very best. Oh, I love your videos, thank you.

How deeply personal and brave was this video!! I have also struggled with depression and other areas most of my life. Last November I started up with therapy and am feeling amazingly different now. So, our stories are obviously different but maybe the experience of longing to be free and happy is the same! And then there is lovely sewing that many people enjoy, or other fiber crafts which quietly soothe our savage souls...along with some tea and coffee! I count it a privilege to know you and appreciate your enriching content!

Thank you for sharing your art and being such a great inspiration. Watching your videos has often helped me in my darker hours, with all their soothing beauty. To me, learning about your struggles adds just another layer to your art and how the greatest appreciation for life sometimes comes from a place of great suffering. Thank you for being here 🕯

You have the same dishes as my grandmother. She was also a Buddhist, though she came to it later in life. I was diagnosed with PTSD as a teenager. I'm still here, mostly out of sheer stubbornness. Thank you for your honest, hopeful video.

I love who you are; it took a lot of guts to make this video. I have been very fortunate in life, but have seen these things up close and personal for people that I care for immensely. I think that you are beautiful, clear and trustworthy as a person. Best wishes - and you are very brave.

Sad to hear about your struggles, but I'm so happy that you're doing better now. I wish you a life full of peace, health and happiness. You deserve it.

Alot of things has kept me frustrated n lost about myself I'm glad n grateful to have come across your channel...I deal with major depression, ocd, and PTSD ...I just want u to know watching this today was more helpful than u will ever know😊❤ thank u so much

Never change, unless you want to. But you are a absolutely wonderful person. At times I wonder how disturbing it is that we have created a society in which we watch KZfaqrs who just show themselves. Seriously, it is absurd in many ways. Then I come across someone like you. Watching you, with your backstory is like reading a fine book on how we could do it differently, dare I say better? Not to do exactly what you do but rather to be ourselves, unadulterated, to slow down. Please, amidst the many people showing what they eat, their hauls, flaunting consumerism, backing up brands like Temu, showing off money and lifestyles… there you are…. If I had been a KZfaqr we would have at least 2 things in common. I too would remain private and I too would share my mental struggles because if the people with a Voice, the so- called influencers ( Very much dislike that concept.) don‘t use it to break down the shame surrounding being neurodivergent… who will?…. Really funny, I was just ready to ditch KZfaqrs and here you are. More normal than the mainstream and more special than those trying so hard to catch attention. Happy I have come across you. You really show you get to make different choices. This 50- year woman has loads of respect for you. Keep showing them, the world even if it is just you being, you…. :). Have a lovely day and big hugs.

Firstly, thank you so very much for sharing your very personal life with us all. I know full well the challenges of Complex PTSD as a result of childhood trauma. I've strugled with depression since I was 16, and began counseling at 27. I've been on antidepressants for going on 30yrs now. Secondly, I'm very relieved to hear you've found effective and compassionate counseling. From personal experience, I can honestly say that a good counselor is truly a lifesaver. Thirdly, I also deal with OCD, but mildly so. It rarely manifests itself; usually evident as anxiety triggered by childhood trauma experiences. Fourthly, a rewarding spiritual life/practice is absolutely essential in dealing with mental illness/trauma. Speaking of which, I applaud your openness about mental illness awareness, and your intentions for increased access to care. Lastly, do what makes you truly happy. I can say that I greatly appreciate your including us in this. Remember, also, that your private life is yours alone, and is no business of mine or anyone else's. Take care of yourself first always!

Thank you for sharing this part of your experience. As someone with c-ptsd who only started enjoying life to a noticeable degree about two years ago, this video was extremely comforting and relatable to watch. I am as deeply sorry you had to struggle for so long as I am happy to know things are finally getting significantly better for you. Something you mentioned that hit home in particular for me was feeling not only better in your own body, but like you can be present in it at all, and at peace with that. This feeling is in part what helps me recognize how much happier I am and how much better I'm healing now. Things still get really tough sometimes of course, but now they don't feel so much like they're deciding factors in whether or not I can make it another day. For anyone else struggling with these things: It does get worse, at first. But then it gets so, so, so, SO much better. Trust me.

Dear Vasi, I stumbled across your channel only a month or so ago and I have thoroughly enjoyed watching all your videos as I sew. Your words and gentleness and your dedication to research and sewing really resonates and inspires me. I had wrongly assumed that your life was without its troubles as I think we're prone to do with the snippets we get of people's lives online and I suppose it also acts as an excuse personally as to why I can't have the beautiful and ease-filled Iife I assume you have. This video made me aware of my own faults but also made me all the more endeared to you. So much of what tou described reflects in my own life and its always uncanny to think how much more connected we all are (even from on the other side of the globe!) than we are different. Anyway, thank you for being you and for your honesty. It was a humbling experience 🌼

A truly touching, beautiful and brave piece, I'm so glad you took the path you are now on ❤🙏ॐ मणि पद्मे हूँ 🙏❤

Beautiful words. I'm finding myself a lot more grounded from watching your videos. :)

2:07-2:40 I feel that so much. Thank you for putting it so beautifully.

i really appreciate this video. i've always been a hopeful person at my core, which is why my experiences with mental health challenges feel so devastating. the levels of dread, existentialism, and pain have overwhelmed my personality many times before, and i realised at some point that i lost my hope. i was certain life ahead of me would be miserable for a lot of my childhood, and didn't think i'd make it to my current age. my birthday was just last week, and i'm happy to say it was a good one! every day, every win, every loss, every moment of fear or happiness is one that i can cherish now, because i didn't believe i had many moments left to experience. i'm always seeking out community for exactly the reasons you described. support is the difference between joy and sorrow, and it's the reason i can enjoy my birthdays. it's so important to try and find community, to find people to share your life with. it's worth every single step it takes to get there

I needed to see this. Thank you for being so honest. I relate so much, many of my symptoms are physical too. I’m so happy for you that life is getting better!

What a great Statement! You are doing wonderful Work. And from my own experience, i can ashure you ist's getting better and better. Mantras helped a lot,aswell ss Dancing, knitting, sewing,crochetting. And Long walks outside! 30 years after the Same diagnosis treated at first traditionel i learned the Body needs more. Maybe a glance at the four Wind school of Dr. Villoldo may bring another piece of Feeling whole and Safe. Be blessed

I am so glad for the progress you've made. Thank you for sharing yourself and your experiences with others

this video hit me in the heart, thank you x

Thank you for sharing. So glad you are experiencing more joy.

Thank you very much for this. yes we need to share our experiences with mental health more, and, idk, bleach out the stigma still associated with it. Again, thank you. I felt I learned, re-learned and remembered many important things listening and watching. I also had learned that depersonalisation creeping in again is the warning sign for me that reads "that´s it, you´re not ok, take a break, or we are going back to the dreary place". I am happy for you that you are feeling better, and I am amazed by what you built for yourself, I really am. It seems a beautiful place. I think we have a similar style of cooking. I wish you all the best for your journey into the sun.

We approach life from differing theological views (Christianity vs Buddhism) but even within those there are similar truths that echo. I know you will have hard days ahead still - times when it feels like circumstance has taken a side road and the strength you built up has abandoned you. I pray you continue to trust what you have learned, what your body has learned, and the support you have surrounding you and know that you will come through! Praying for peace and continued healing in your life! You are a beautiful person inside and out, and you deserve to hear that every day.

I just subscribed recently because I found your videos not only educational but also cosy and relaxing. This is coming at the perfect time because I haven't been doing great lately. Thank you for sharing more of your personal life with us, what you went through resonates with many of us. Sending love❤

Thank you so much for sharing this! It's really brave of you to share this, and you've explained yourself so clearly and honestly, and I'm so glad to hear you're doing better and happier ❤ May the recovery go well, and may your hope come true, bit by bit 🙏

I'm so glad to hear that you have been able to get a diagnosis that is correct for you & that you have gotten better help for your mental health. ❤❤❤

I have a similar story, many therapist tried but failed, some made things worse. It was actually a boyfriend that helped me understand life events that happened to me was causing my sense of detachment and pain. If you ever want to talk, just know this internet stranger is always here. Thank you for being your beautiful self

Hi V, I only came across your channel the other day (love the content about historical clothing btw) so I wasn't expecting one of the videos to be like this. I am struggling with some similar mental health issues, and have been most my life, so I would just like to say thank you for this video. It's been hard for me recently and this touched me in a way that little else has in recent memory, and given me a glimmer of hope I've really been needing. Right place and right time. You seem like such a wonderful soul, and the empathy you show here is so sincere and powerful. I hope I can emulate at least some of what you've demonstrated - thanks for giving this hopeless soul a small spark of a better tomorrow

thank you so much for sharing, this was beautiful

I can really relate to the story of misdiagnosis. Someone very close to me had been in therapy for about 20 years without anything really fundamentally changing the cycle of depressive episodes and anxiety until they finally found the right combination of therapists who attempted yet a new diagnosis and treatment and it finally worked and they have been happier and healthier in the last years than I ever saw them before. They also never gave up in seeking support and ultimately it worked. It's still very hard to live with trauma, but now there is hope of a somewhat peaceful life not dominated by fear. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm so glad you found the right path for you and I wish that you continue to heal and grow!

Hang in there Girl! You are going to be fine! It's nice to finally see a true smile on your face! I love your videos! ❤

❤❤❤ this was such a helpful and calming video. Thank you 🙏

I only just found your channel today, and I'm so happy I did! This video especially really resonated with me. Your mental and physical health journey sounds very similar to mine, and hearing you speaking about it made me feel seen and less alone

Happy for you ❤

Thank you so much for sharing this. I relate so much to your story, and seeing that you've built a peaceful life for yourself gives me hope that i can too ❤

Your words are a comfort and your videos feel like a safe space. Thank you

Its been so long since I tuned in but this video feels like those late night conversations we had back in Iceland. It was so healing for me just to listen and hear how you've been. I couldn't agree more that having boundaries and separation in ones personal and public/professional life is so helpful and also gives us the permission to explore more and embody different ways of being in different settings. I love your message about never giving up seeking support. I was just telling my sister the other day that I was thinking about going back to school to do something with somatic therapy- but I have no idea where to start or if its even a legitimate pathway. Hearing how much its helped you is so inspiring. I've worked with many individuals with adhd and autism as a private caregiver/PA over the past 10 years and cptsd is apparently more common within neurodiverse population, I've always connected with movement as a powerful tool for mental health. Thank you so so much for sharing this!

Thank you for opening up with something so personal, you’ve touched all of our hearts ❤

Thank you for this video. I can count on 1 hand how many times I've commented on a video, but the description of your life you gave at the start of the video was just so eerily similar to mine. I'm still struggling to address my issues, so hearing your persistence, determination, and the fruit that bore means more to me than I can convey in this message. So again, thank you. ❤

Thank you for this brave honesty. Best of luck and joy on your healing Journey.

I've been watching and enjoying your videos a lot, and this one particularly spoke to me, as someone who has also a history of struggling with mental health. I'm really so glad that you found such a great therapist and that you feel so much better

Thank you for sharing such a personal side of your life. It can be hard to share something so personal. I see such an amazing person and feel previledged to be able to have this peek into your journey. Wishing you continued growth and prosperity and I look forwards to seeing all that you are willing to share with us.

This is one of the most meaningful videos I've seen in a long time. Thank you being brave enough to not only share what your physical day to day looks like, but more importantly what goes on internally. I have recently been under a lot of stress and almost lost myself. I had nobody to talk to about it, no way to understand it was just all a big blur of a tunnel I had to travel through hoping to get to the light at the end. I even had someone I recently met ask me if I was autistic because of the trauma I'd been through. While I don't seriously believe that is the case, it just shows how quickly people judge you harshly, it was also said to me in a sort of put down type way. I've heard that being put under immense stress actually causes the brain to shrink, and so if that's true then perhaps constant pressure can lead to damage, damage that isn't so easily repaired in a short space of time, which leads me to your point about the mind being so overwhelmed it has no choice but to store this energy inside the body. I was unable to even express positive emotion, even feelings for people. Especially anything that would lead to being loved or feelings of safety. I allowed people to use me and decide for themselves if I was worthy of their time or not, and eventually this broke me down even worse. Not only into a terrible feeling of "why" don't they like me, but that I don't like anyone if this is how most people choose to operate. A lot of the time people have their own responsabilites and goals which is great, but not when it ends up hurting those around them. There's so much social pressure especially with text communication, that it was almost impossible for me to really continue pushing to be in peoples lives, when it felt like there was no effort being delivered on their end, most likely because they already have everything they need from the people they already know, and when they don't they'll try and get it from you, but when you're in need, they're not there. This has been the case for me all my life, all my life. Especially as a child, I would go knock on my friends door who lived a 20 min walk away from me to be told more than half of the time "busy can't come out". Just never really being told the true feelings of someone is worse than them shying away from them, and I still experience this today among new friends. I wish people could communicate better and not just to make themselves feel better. It's lead me to a life of solitude and more out of neccessity than an actual need for it. To slow down and like you mention "to be in your body". I really hope my message hasn't been a bore, or too long, or drawn out, but, I felt obliged to let you know you're not alone, and there's a lot of people out there that have been let down, hurt and mistreated by those who we thought were dearest to us, who we thought had our best interests at heart but ended up finding out that wasn't the case. People nowadays are cold and disconnected because they are so busy connecting to social media, their whatsapp group or what daily tasks they have to fulfill until they can "enjoy their day" all while operating on auto-pilot in a hypnotised state unaware of the real nature of life around them. I've always felt like an outsider among groups; simply because I'm not like everybody else. People don't like that, it makes them feel envious that they aren't more unique in their own way. People want to constantly tell you how they're right and how you're wrong or how you can do things better, or how the way they do things is so much better for them, never remembering that it might not be best for you, never stopping to just realise that life is about experiencing it. I guess I say this because you probably have had a lot of people who simply "don't get it" and dealing with depression and OCD, they think there's a way you can just "fix" it if you want to, which for me only makes it worse. For me the best way to heal is to go inward and find the answers myself, people love to follow but we all need to be our own leaders and I've only gotten halfway through you video and it's already clear as day that you're leading your own path, not only in healing but in the way you wish to express your truest self and be present everyday. Thank you so much for being willing to share this with the world. I know your example will help so many people all across the world. I hope in time the perfect life you dream of becomes a reality and all obstacles flee your path before you. Best wishes and joy

I was very touched by you being so open and sharing your mental health issues, and the road to recovery you found.

I can understand a little bit of what you are going through. I suffer from depression and PTSD. My life is very uneventful. My 8 kids are in school. I sleep until noon and force myself to get up and do some chores. My kids come home and I try to cook dinner and help them. My husband supports the family. I am a devout Catholic, and most weeks the only time that I get out is Sunday morning Mass. I use KZfaq as a distraction from what bothers me. When I turn off the KZfaq, is when I struggle the most. It's just easier to keep the background noise so that I don't have to think about my life. I have gone through therapy before, but it doesn't actually help my situation. So, at this point, I would rather cope without it.

Thank you for sharing. I'm still working on body and mind connecting. I'll find that peace...I need to find that peace. Good luck on your journey.

Much respect to everything you've accomplished. Glad you're doing better. I'm currently on my own journey of healing trauma and neglect. You're giving me hope.

Thank you for sharing this. I can relate so much with your experience. Lately I've embarked on a path to craft a better life for myself that will fit my needs. It gives me hope to see your successes.

Your honesty is greatly appreciated. I’ve had to experience much of that myself- from my perspective, I can relate.

Thank you for sharing this. I'm appreciating it as fellow cptsd sufferer. It's only for a good, I'm sure you are helping someone with sharing your story ❤

Hear, hear. Thank you for endorsing the help that mental health practitioners can give. I've gotten real help and support dealing with my bi-polar diagnosis. I try to support the rollback of mental health stigma. I enjoyed this video and a glimpse into your life. BTW, yummy looking soup!

This video made me cry. It hit a spot inside me that could relate so much to parts of your story. The last 6 years has been a rollercoaster of good and bad moments, and it was so comforting to listen to your story; for people to relate, but also as you mention to spread awareness and understanding around mental health. Thank you for sharing and hope you have many great and present moments in your future ❤