Ten things you need to know when healing early trauma

Рет қаралды 45,094

Күн бұрын

In this week’s video I cover the basics of what I believe folks should be aware of when healing early traumatic wounds.
This might be one of the tougher topics to write and video about because each person is unique and how one heals the wounds of early trauma are dependent on SO many factors. It looks different for each person. That’s why it’s key we follow practices and healing approaches that follow principles, rather than step-by-step methods.
Here’s an outline of the ten main things that I cover (but in greater depth) in this video:
1 - Healing at this level is not about shaking it out (it’s about regulation).
2 - The Adverse Childhood Experiences study is good and it doesn’t take into account other types of early experiences that are traumatic but are often seen as not (something I wrote about in depth here).
3 - The Polyvagal Theory: what it is and how it relates to our primary wiring.
4 - You’re gonna feel the feels (and they might not always be the fun ones and that is absolutely normal).
5 - There might not be any memories, of anything (again, this is normal).
6 - I mean it when I say: go at your own pace. Go slow and do not compare yourself to anyone else (refer to the second paragraph above).
7- You must be ok with not being perfect and making mistakes (and this in turn will challenge those early wounds!).
8- The mind-body-environment connection must be considered, as well as all our relationships, how we set boundaries, and so on.
9- There is zero need to make amends with the folks who hurt you!
10 - We can’t heal alone.
Even if you aren’t sure if you are living with untreated early trauma, I hope you take some time to watch today’s video so you can learn a little bit about this rarely talked about subject and its impact on society.
(Please note that I use early and developmental trauma interchangeably as they mean the same thing.)
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Resources I mention:
► BOOK: Nurturing Resilience: Helping Clients Move Forward from Developmental Trauma--An Integrative Somatic Approach
www.amazon.com/Nurturing-Resi...
► Does shaking heal trauma?
• Does shaking heal trauma?
► The Polyvagal Theory. Explained.
• The Polyvagal Theory. ...
► Do you have to re-live trauma to heal it?
• Do you have to re-live...
► The 5 stages of neuroplastic healing:
• The 5 stages of neurop...
► Sometimes We Have To Break Up With Our Family
sethlyon.com/sometimes-break-...
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Thank you for being here!
1. Leave a comment and let me know how this video impacted you. Feel free to leave a question (my team answers them each week!)
2. To get more nervous system health resources, plus learn more about me and my credentials, plus the many ways you can work with me at the practical level, head to my website: irenelyon.com
3. Follow me on social here:
Instagram: / irenelyon
Facebook: / lyonirene
LinkedIn: / irenelyon
SoundCloud: / irenelyon
4. GOT QUESTIONS? Send an email to: support@irenelyon.com
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Please know that…
The statements on this KZfaq channel or in videos are simply opinion. Content presented or posted on this channel is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment or a professional therapeutic relationship. Content presented or posted is intended to provide general health information for educational purposes only and you should contact the appropriate healthcare professional before relying on any such information.
My website is a wealth of free resources and information on how to start this work, so here it is one more time: irenelyon.com

Пікірлер: 86

@Dragonflylane77 3 жыл бұрын

I was molested by my grandpa at age 3 and I remember everything..like in snapshots..I also was born cross eyed and had surgery on my eyes at 9 months old.. fast forward to now at 51 and am having panic attacks out of nowhere and have ended up in the ER twice because the attacks were so bad I thought I was going to die. I really like these videos and I think they’re going to help with my healing...💕

@naomicalian2696 Жыл бұрын

How r u feeling now ? So sorry 😞 I totally get it. I hate panick attacks

@peachesmcgee4795 Жыл бұрын

So sorry this happened to you.I hope you are healing ❤

@makaylahollywood3677 4 жыл бұрын

I learn well with analogies. I am doing the trauma work. And, one thing i keep in mind; to be ready for changes in emotions or moods. My days have structure and rituals. But, occasionally, I am challenged by "getting stuck in a state" and, that's when i stop, notice everything. It can be exhausting. I am doing this alone, a few confidants to share, online books and videos. I call the family dynamics a rubrics cube, one move causes the others to move. I make a very personal connection to every single cashier, or store help...small talk for 2-3 minutes is amazing. I get a massage once in awhile. Thanks always, Excellent content.

@nataliem3205 2 жыл бұрын

Check out the book the presence process. By Michael Brown. It's an emotional book that integrates trauma.

@siiiriously3226 4 жыл бұрын

so interesting. each video you make is another mindblowing step in my healing!

@teamlyon3109 4 жыл бұрын

YES! This is so great to hear ✨ If you're looking for a few more resources I suggest checking these out (if you haven't already!) irenelyon.com/tuneup/ irenelyon.com/free-resources/ Here's to more mindblowing steps in your healing! Nicole - Team Lyon

@michaelsingh5053 3 жыл бұрын

Amazing talk, just watching Irene is providing so much inner healing, the way you always point to your soul and centre my thoughts. I have been through immense trauma recently so I can am so grateful for blessed souls like Irene who are helping humanity in their healing. God Bless you Irene for your compassion.

@erichbrough6097 3 жыл бұрын

My perfectionism feels like another layer of trauma at times, a real cage.

@jackhammer8061 3 жыл бұрын

I find Buddhist philosophy to be a excellent foundation to get you in shape to try to confront these leftover emotions from the past. That’s wild to hear about randomly crying but not knowing why....Recently over the last few months I’ve realized I could be way more proactive about the things getting in the way of my life & for me its practically nothing but the fallout side effects of suppressing emotions & suppressing myself. Essentially it’s can be boiled down to not accepting things. Avoiding/denying feelings. So I’ve been intent on trying to think back & mentally place myself back in certain experiences & just acknowledge the feelings and let go/release. Sporadically over the last 3 or 4 months. .....Well, just around that time, I would randomly start crying for seemingly no reason. It was very puzzling haha I almost thought I had corona for a second lol. But the more I release, the more I’m in my element & more in touch with myself. It’s like it builds you up, the more you release the more youre capable of handling & thus releasing, and the stronger the foundation gets in your ability to keep yourself grounded as you face & chip away at your karma.

@lanaspratley5950 3 жыл бұрын

So happy i found you're channel really starting to understand ! so much good information And my therapist agrees with you're stuff as well 😂 that is super important because there is alot of miss information out there about trauma healing, Thankyou so much loving you're work 😊

@terrycarmona4005 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you. You have such a soothing voice and it was easy to understand your message. Makes total sense and gives me a feeling of hope.

@cherylenko5081 3 жыл бұрын

I just LOVE you! You’re about the details and the source. Excellent and easy to understand. You’re amazing! 💕🙏

@zelikee1014 4 жыл бұрын

thank you for always bringing us your valid, in-depth, and helpful research! I love how you explain without diluting but still make it understandable for someone outside of academia/the psychology discipline. You really care about making this important research accesible to everyone, which I appreciate.

@nerudaad 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing your wisdom!

@rosannasun99 4 жыл бұрын

Totally true in my experience. (I have the good fortune to "stumble" into an amazing angel therapist, and have been on this incredible journey for 3+ years, and still going.) #10 is a completely new notion to me - and I can sense the profound truth in it. Thx for that! Oh, and the Polyvagal video you linked above is amazing!

@thomass2043 3 жыл бұрын

Hi Irene, this a lovely video which with great empathy and really connects with your people. Shared it with at least 3 people who i think understand this and can benefit from watching. Love your calm open eyes.

@rachelsweets 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you Irene

@JL-fz5kn 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you Irene! Helpful for myself, my community and anyone that I have the honor to walk alongside.

@teamlyon3109 4 жыл бұрын

Yes! So great that you feel this information is helpful John. If you're after some more resources, I would suggest checking these out... irenelyon.com/tuneup/ irenelyon.com/free-resources/ Here's to walking alongside those ready to explore from this prospective! Nicole - Team Lyon

@mirjamfischer4719 2 жыл бұрын

Super helpful. Such a wonderful break down of the nervous system healing work with all its challenges. Helps staying on the (SBSM-) wagon and to keep on exploring one’s own pace and capacity. Thank you so much.

@a.k.3110 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing this kindly, these Informations are very helpful.

@rewirements-itstimetolearn5076 2 жыл бұрын

I have enjoyed listening to your guidance, your explanation are such on point for me, understanding is to me a great therapy and great support, thankyou

@nikstar1313 4 жыл бұрын

Wow, so glad I found your channel! New subscriber!

@morganalexis6147 3 жыл бұрын

Number 9 of the list in your description really touches me right now! I feel such a desperate urge to make constant amends with those who really did hurt me badly/shut me down

@tarakadir9259 6 ай бұрын

Thank you 🙏🏻 ❤️

@daniellesan3917 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you! 🌻

@teamlyon3109 4 жыл бұрын

Thanks for watching Danielle! ✨ Nicole - Team Lyon

@lynblisso2880 4 жыл бұрын

Thankyou!

@leacarr8044 3 жыл бұрын

Is it possible to be too far gone? My ACE score is so high. On top of that I was a victim of a hit and run at age 5. Then more medical issues came. I have no idea how I made it to 18. Then in adulthood I was a victim of sexual & domestic abuse; more than once. When I explain it ALL to people it sounds unbelievable. I really want to do the work. I feel like even though I am in a good place my past trauma is effecting my health, self esteem and my career (lack there of at the moment.) I can't fulfill my potential.

@teamlyon3109 3 жыл бұрын

Hi Lea Car, Jen here from Team Lyon. There's a lot of strength coming through your post and a strong desire to do this work. Those can be very helpful in healing trauma as can starting from a good place. I'd encourage you to check out Irene's resources and the 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up. You might also consider doing some 1-1 work with a trained nervous system practitioner if that's an option. Step by step this work adds up and it's never too late.

@ickytips 11 ай бұрын

i feel the same way. high ACE, all sorts of trauma (generational, developmental, medical, shock, accumulated stress), NDE, autoimmune, addiction, etc., doing it all on my own. it’s hard to maintain hope for a better future…

@marlanacarnett1715 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Irene Lyon, for your work.We are getting to a point in world consciousness where we are recognizing the spectre of universal damage to the nervous system. I am 71 and spent pretty much my whole life working on freeing myself from the effects of trauma....mine, but also the inherited trauma of previous generations. I started with yoga at 16, moved to Europe, trained as an Art Therapist, studied astrology intensely. I always worked for a living. In 2005 I started with Holosync technology which cleans the nervous system with sound. I stuck to it for 10 years. I didn't know it was possible to feel so free and alive. You have to be willing to do 1hr. a day. It was so worth it because you are your own boss. It is the best and the only thing that works for sure for everyone...if you don't quit. Yes, it took 10 years and cost a total of $3000 but time and money flow away if you do nothing too. I look forward to the day that everyone takes responsibility for their lives: eat properly, exercise, meditate and wake up to your contribution to our shared world.

@robster7012 2 жыл бұрын

I did holosync for 6 years. Whilst I agree it is a powerful, soothing experience with definite benefits, I have still have unresolved trauma that I have literally been around the block and back to address. Just enrolled on Irene's 21 day course 🙏🏻 Does it need to be listened to for 10 years to 'complete' the process?

@marlanacarnett1715 2 жыл бұрын

@@robster7012 Hello, thanks for sharing. I had a different experience with Holosync. Not always soothing! It pushed my nervous system to bring up the issues that were at the root of my stress issues. Then, as an adult I could face and resolve them and it was over. You may recall that there are 4 levels. If you don't finish all 4 then yes, the program can't do everything for you that it is capable of. Now my only challenge is having compassion for the messed up person I was and the harm I did because I 'couldn't help it' .

@robster7012 2 жыл бұрын

@@marlanacarnett1715 your comment has made me consider starting again. Other than holosync have you undertaken any somatic work?

@marlanacarnett1715 2 жыл бұрын

@@robster7012 No, but now I feel able to handle whatever life throws at me. I do art, yoga, writing to take care of myself. No overwhelm from triggers.

@robster7012 2 жыл бұрын

@@marlanacarnett1715 🙏🏻

@cfredz1001 4 жыл бұрын

thanks!

@katinahockney9387 Ай бұрын

EMDR processed the memories, I relived the trauma, it was a ghastly experience, hard work. Unfortunately it hasn’t lasted….10years on.

@lorifenner4048 11 ай бұрын

Both my parents were abusive to my three older sisters. I have no memory of being abused, myself, but I have issues that make me strongly suspect that I was abused before my memories were formed.

@marthachisnell3346 10 ай бұрын

Whether we personally are abused or see abuse of our siblings... we too are abused! I recently realized how bad I felt that I couldn't save my younger sister. Little did I realize how much I had been abused as a very young child. I am looking forward to healing with Irene's program. Be blessed ♥

@kl6902 3 жыл бұрын

This is exactly where I’m at right now

@boogaria554 4 жыл бұрын

When I was 3, I remember VERY precisely a traumatic experience that is etched in my brain. I remember the first half of everything even little nuances. But then I don't remember the second half. So I'm questioning that idea of a little child not remembering things when they grow up to be adults. Most things are just sensations, but this memory is so clear that I could tell a person step-by-step what happened. So I don't feel it's black and white as far as those memories being available.

@teamlyon3109 4 жыл бұрын

Hi Charli, Seth here from Team Lyon. Thanks for watching and commenting! You are right that it is not black and white. It is most common for people to not remember anything before the age of 3, but sometimes even before that age traumas may be etched into the brain, and even more so - in the body. Sometimes the body remembers in the form of sensations and instinctive responses, and as we feel these things in the body, a more declarative memory may arise. In the case of your memory, it sounds like you stayed present with the activation of what was happening until your little system couldn't take it anymore, and then went into shutdown, which is why you don't have recall of the second half.

@boogaria554 4 жыл бұрын

@@teamlyon3109 yes, I absolutely agree. It is so odd though that I remember even now at the age of 58 every single little nuance when my father beat up my grandmother and took me away from her and my mother and abducted me while my grandmother was screaming as she was going down the stairs and the Neighbors at 3 a.m. in the morning opened their doors and just looked and didn't get involved. I remember every single little Nuance of that. It's like a movie that's completely clear. Watching the neighbors just stare and do nothing. And more of the rest of the trauma.

@wiam7575 3 жыл бұрын

My body gave so much responses I can now remember those traumas for now I can't affore your program l just a student m wondering if you can help with anything i tried reframing and it works a lot but these new traumas that I remembered i feel like m scared to go back there

@Michelle-72 Жыл бұрын

During my IFS therapy sessions, pre verbal parts often come up.

@katinahockney9387 Ай бұрын

I have a very high ACE score, in utero trauma, childhood abuse, adult medical traumas, 14 surgeries, 3 miscarriages, ectopic pregnancy. I developed M.E and Fibromyalgia in 2000. Still trying to cope daily. My pain became severe after treatment for Lyme disease. It is deep bone pain/ joints/muscles. Now have alopecia. I have done the 21 days and shall keep doing it. I just want to get rid of my pain. Unable to do SBSM as only can use an iPad.

@IreneLyon 20 күн бұрын

Hello, Sophia here from Team Lyon. Thank you for your comment and for sharing about what's going on for you, we appreciate your share. As a student of the 21 Day program you have access to the members' area, where our specially trained team of moderators can assist you and answer any questions. Regarding SBSM, just like the 21 Day program, it's accessible via computer, mobile or tablet and all files are also downloadable. Please feel free to reach out to our support inbox if you need any assistance with accessing our programs.

@damianreed1990 3 жыл бұрын

Does this video or the 21-Day course come in Spanish? My wife needs to see this.

@Aurora-rd8lm Жыл бұрын

So i have one big issue that is really hurting me + my life in a very bad way : i have this obsession of love all my life is about having feeling about that guys who does not love me back ( always happen love onlyyyy from one side ) Or limerence ! + If am ever in a relationship he end up to be a psychopath ( a very dangerous and troubled person ) where he does all of that abuse ... And each time i fall in love i lose all my power and everything i became like some one who went into a prison by his own will ! And i just become stuck !!!!! Content crying pain anger being stuck litrelly !!!!!! I wanna become free i don't want the rest of my life to be about that obsession of LOVE ! I want my life to be about living my life fully ... And if i met a guy and like him and he is good for me and in that time i want to be in relationship i would be in a relationship by my FREEWILL !!!!!!!! But if i don't i would not ( I am enslaved to inner things) And even if am in a relationship , i wouldn't lose myself each time !!!!! It's like i have me and i have you tooo ! I would not vanish in him Would your work heal that and help me reach that ! Right now i run away from my abusive family months ago and am sooooo terrified of letting go of someone said for me 1000000 time i don't love you am holding to my feelings for him because i know if i don't have feelings for him that obsession start again and i would fall with some psychopath that would kill me ! ( My ex by the way used to threaten me of death ... And i was so attached to him ) I WANNA GET RID OF THAT HELL !

@Vitamin.joe1 3 ай бұрын

Thank you 14:08

@_cr8ive_ Жыл бұрын

Does it mean something specific if you can't cry at all to release stuff or can trauma and the emotions release through other methods beside crying something out? Thanks

@lorraineheggie4416 2 жыл бұрын

I have always felt a sadness that comes from inside and has overshadowed my life. Sometime early in my life between 6 months old and a yearset limits with guys . I had eye surgery to correct some abnormality in my left eye. I have been told three different reasons for the surgery by siblings and my mom. The surgery resulted in blindness in my left eye and thick scar tissue formed over the surface as well. My mother went back to work 2 months after I was born and was cared for by our neighbor who had 4 children under the age of 5. I suspect I harbor trauma from those experiences and from the shame I felt growing up. Bullying and rejection were frequent during my youth and continued university. Finally at age 22 I was able to have a scleral shell prosthetic made for my eye. Overcoming the shame and distorted self image affected my self confidence and ability to set limits with guys. The story goes sideways from there. I have had 2 abusive marriages and bullying at work. I continue to have flashbacks from numerous past experiences and fight/flight/ frozen responses . I turn 69 in 3 days and would like to be free of this before I die.

@lorraineheggie4416 2 жыл бұрын

I have suffered with depression and severe hypothyroidism for most of my life, treated for about 35 years. My mental health has altered my life path in many ways. As I read about trauma and listen to your videos I feel a bit of hope in my future. Where does one start?

@teamlyon3109 2 жыл бұрын

Hi lorraine heggie, Jen here from Team Lyon. I sense a strength in your post, and am glad that you found Irene and this nervous system work. I too hope that you will be free of this before you die. You ask below, where does one start. I want to acknowledge that you've already started! and will share a few other suggestions with you. Starting with Irene's free resources as you've done can be one way to start. Irene also has a 3-part Healing Trauma video training that I'll link to in case you'd like to check it out. She also offers a course and a program that teach people to heal in this way. The introductory program is called the 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up and you can start it at any time. I believe there may be a special coming up so keep an eye out or email support@irenelyon.com to learn more. Irene also offers monthly Drop In classes that can also be a good place to start. You have the opportunity to experience Irene teaching live, be with other people, and you also get a recording of the class so you can repeat it on your own. There is much room to hope lorraine! free 3-part Healing Trauma video training - irenelyon.com/healing-trauma 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up - 21daytuneup.com Drop In classes - irenelyon.com/drop-in-class-1

@lorifenner4048 11 ай бұрын

How does a person know if they had a pre-verbal trauma if they have no memory of it? Are there physical or psychological symptoms in adulthood that that could explain?

@EvgeniiaDolinenko 10 ай бұрын

I guess you can feel it. The unexplained pain in your soul, sudden tears, sudden reactions. And if you don't understand why, then that's a trauma.

@ellenpetersen3156 3 жыл бұрын

Irene, would you consider doing an interview with your husband? I would be so interested to hear from his perspective what that journey was like.

@teamlyon3109 3 жыл бұрын

Hey Ellen! Seth here from Team Lyon, and Irene's husband :) Yes, this is something that's been on our radar for awhile that we need to get to. Thanks for the nudge! I'll remind Irene.

@ellenpetersen3156 3 жыл бұрын

@@teamlyon3109 Thank you, Seth! I'm learning I also have developmental trauma, so it's helpful to know I'm not alone. Look forward to that and love all the work you guys do!

@Isildur94 2 жыл бұрын

Can acupuncture be useful when dealing with trauma? To help regulate the nervous system and come in contact with buried emotions?

@IreneLyon 2 жыл бұрын

Hi Erik, Seth here with Team Lyon. Yes, it certainly can be a useful part of the overall approach, though it would be most helpful if the acupuncturist is trauma-informed enough to understand that emotions and difficult sensations may arise during treatment, and be able to hold space for that. As a client, we wouldn't want to go into such a session, and then have to repress what arises, which would just be retraumatizing, so that would be a good conversation to have first.

@bobelsey9684 2 жыл бұрын

Pls comment on trauma and borderlines

@teamlyon3109 2 жыл бұрын

Hi Bob, Seth here with team Lyon. Thanks for your suggestion! I've passed it on to Irene.

@scottphillips2420 3 жыл бұрын

you remind me of Alice Miller;-)

@peterlanges3944 3 жыл бұрын

10:00 Maggie

@scottthomas5819 2 жыл бұрын

comments get points!

@RoxiTube1 4 жыл бұрын

Me and my cat are watching this video 😆

@teamlyon3109 4 жыл бұрын

😎🐱💕 Nicole - Team Lyon

@agniem9698 4 жыл бұрын

Hi. Could be that restless leg syndrome has to do with trauma tremors?

@teamlyon3109 4 жыл бұрын

Hey Agnie, Nicole here from Team Lyon. It's possible that restless leg syndrome is energy trying to move - an incomplete survival response. It could also be a way for the system to contain all the energy that's "stuck" in the body.

@agniem9698 4 жыл бұрын

@@teamlyon3109 Thank you for your reply.

@racheljimenez231 4 жыл бұрын

@@agniem9698 it could be. Or it could be a nutrient deficiency. I get it when I'm magnesium deficient. Stress from a dysfunctional nervous system, relationships, environment, chronic illness all deplete magnesium even more. I also get it when my coccyx is out of alignment. It's an awful, jump out of my skin feeling in my legs and even my hips sometimes. My coccyx tends to go out of alignment with emotional stress.

@agniem9698 4 жыл бұрын

@@racheljimenez231 I am eating a lot of nuts. I don't like supements but will try some magnesium and vit complexes.

@agniem9698 4 жыл бұрын

@@teamlyon3109 I feel the energy is a result of incoplete response but also a conflict that I am going through mith myself. It started 6 years ago when I decided to go into therapy. The reason was that I was addicted to unhealthy relationships, no self-esteem and self worth. But coming off the drug (men) left me with with this crippling side effect. On one hand it's like I am trying to find someone to save me and hence the energy surplus. On the other, I am runnig away from myslef, self neglecting and abandoning. I feel I am coming closer to the resolution and looking into all possibilities.