The Best Advice For New Relationships: Do's and Don'ts

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The Best Advice For New Relationships: Do's and Don'ts

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8 ай бұрын

The Best Advice For New Relationships: Do's and Don'ts. New relationship? Want to create a foundation of healthy partnership and long-lasting love? Here are the 6 components you need to see your new relationship flourish and survive.
1.Know what you want. If you don’t know what you want, you’ll get what they give you and you will never have the proper form of partner selection process to guide you.
2. Be a great communicator. You know what you want you have to be able to frame it in understandable terms to your perspective, partner or your very new partner.
3. Foundation. This is the terms of service. It is your blueprint. It is the behavior, goals, boundaries, and all other expectations as far as how you treat each other with civility and kindness within the relationship.
4. Patience. Glitches happen. New relationships go through all sorts of twists and turns and challenges. Especially because one or both of you can get fearful or reactive, and leap to their default. Period.
5. Perspective. This is where you put yourself in your partners shoes. Before you get reactive or shut them down consider carefully trying to “see it from their perspective.”. This is not asking you to be a doormat or to accept bad behavior. Simply to allow for the fact that different people have a different manner of processing change, disruption, fear, and anxiety.
6. Conflict resolution. Get really good at conflict resolution because you’ll have to know how to handle the twists and turns of your relationship. Check out my video, Stop arguing Start brainstorming.
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Пікірлер: 61

@fromthehart7915 8 ай бұрын

Thank you for all your wise words, Susan! I’ve been listening to you for years and you’ve been a huge influence in my dating life - I’ve learnt to set boundaries, communicate clearly and date intentionally by listening to your videos. I tell all my friends about you! Especially when anyone has a relationship question, I refer them directly to you. And they always find your content super helpful, of course! You’re the best 😄❤

@jabz_ 8 ай бұрын

who's also watching with a relationship only in the head

@TheFreedPerspective 8 ай бұрын

Best relationship I’ve ever had!😂

@SusanWinter 8 ай бұрын

@@TheFreedPerspective thanks for the chuckle

@cheryljones2009 8 ай бұрын

I can't say "new love", I can only say "met" someone new about 3 weeks ago.... Still trying to see if that turns into anything!!! 🙄 lol

@Lioness_of_Gaia 8 ай бұрын

🖐😁💚

@mikyl-fo8rh 8 ай бұрын

Speak Truth. If you like them, tell them. If you're not ready for a relationship, tell them (if they're ready for a relationship and they're wise, they'll leave you) because you are not a breadcrumbing, manipulator.

@SusanWinter 8 ай бұрын

Fantastic. It’s easy isn’t it? That method really cuts to the chase and eliminates unnecessary heartbreak

@chrisdaley5175 8 ай бұрын

One aspect of cognitive behavioral therapy is don't be a mind reader! Ask. Talk it out.

@marischlice3990 8 ай бұрын

Love Susan Winter. So many out there giving advice. Here you will find sensible, straightforward answers to the dating life we live in today. She totally gets it and have been listening to her for years.

@SusanWinter 8 ай бұрын

Maris, thank you. I’m really honored by your words. I do know that this area of information and advice has hundreds of voices. I want you to know from the bottom of my heart how much I appreciate hearing this from you. It means a lot to people such as myself. Sending you a big electronic hug.!! thank you for being such a wonderful supporter and for putting a smile on my face

@James-oo9oz 6 ай бұрын

Maris you are the best person to comment on this video how are you doing today

@DEMONICKHILLER-fx2ln 6 ай бұрын

Im really enjoying my new relationship. He is angel to know what im going through because of my abusive x's and still stick around. He wipes my tears and he just comforts me. I will NEVER LEAVE him for any ex. Even if we dont work out, he will ALWAYS be my friend. 💙

@leonpapadopoulos9798 8 ай бұрын

Awesome advice and insight, thankyou Susan! ...and when you say "patience" in the way you say it...we listen! Much love and a wonderful December to you!

@6270Van 8 ай бұрын

Good morning/Day here Susan Winter, would like to give you my thanks for this video. Last time we spoke ,you nailed it in the head completely and I didnt dictate my boundaries enough hence why these sort of people come to me, and I was a different person back then. Too much on the agreeable side, too nice, and naive. I've grown, alot. Even more now, hence why I am always here in your channel because you are I consider the best on this field, and will always look forward to your content. I know what I want, and what I don't want. I want stability, the Dream and a future with the right one. Happy seasons Greeting Susan ❤❤

@michelleb5471 8 ай бұрын

Hi Susan 😊just wanted to let you know I ordered your sparkly pink water bottle merchandise with (your so big and strong )inscription on it 💕I love it and can’t wait to bring it to the gym and along with it being so incredibly cute I bought it to give gratitude and thanks for your invaluable information and wisdom you provide us all here on KZfaq 🙏

@DuckSeason12 6 ай бұрын

Wow now it makes so much more sense. They have their own stuff to deal with and might not respond not out of meanness but cant decide or whatever. Who knows. Communication if unfavorable is better than dropping someone without any words.

@r34221 8 ай бұрын

everytime i feel down my inner voice says you need susan thank you so mutch

@SandeepN-cl3qs 8 ай бұрын

Very important suggestion Susan. I am new to your channel, however I know you after the book I read recently - Allowing Magnificance. Really grateful for your advice. Also best wishes for your birthday and I dedicate the following crazy random writings ( attempt of a poem) for you :) In the depths of my soul, a love story begins, An enchanting tale, as my heart joyfully sings, I feel like a novice, with emotions uncharted, Captivated by a wiser woman, my heart now deeply enkindled. Your radiance catches my eye, your presence commands, A confident woman, of high value who understands, In your gentle embrace, age becomes just a number and wisdom a scalable attribute, As you defy expectations and every societal slumber. Your wisdom surpasses the years etched on your skin, You weave dreams and hope, a life lived to win, Your charisma and poise, a captivating allure, In your embrace, I find wisdom so pure. Your advice brings out the best in me, and my worries yours in return, Together we venture, ready to conquer and learn, Depth of understanding may be a difference, but we're bound by desire, Our hearts entangled, a flame that won't retire. With each passing moment, a connection does grow, In your words, I find solace, all my worries wither and go, Your life experiences shroud us both in a magical light, A love forged in courage, every day shining so bright. Your radiance catches my eye, your presence commands, A confident woman, of high value who understands, In your gentle embrace, age becomes just a number and wisdom a scalable attribute, As you defy expectations and every societal slumber. So, let others judge my trust and try to define, But I am intoxicated by this fearless choice of mine, For it's not about age or wisdom, but the depths within our souls, A love that burns brightly, warming us as it unfolds.

@SusanWinter 8 ай бұрын

Oh my goodness I am so moved. What an absolutely gorgeous poem. And I’m also very thankful that what I’m saying and the way I present my work is of service to you and speaks to your heart. I wish you all good and beautiful things and thank you for the kindand inspiring message

@southcentralPA 8 ай бұрын

That is truly so beautiful.

@SandeepN-cl3qs 8 ай бұрын

I am so glad and humbled that you liked my poem. Indeed, with due respect to other experts. I find your advices and the way you present very unique and compelling. I am your new subscriber however I must say I haven't read any better self help books than Allowing Magnificance. You communicated to every cells in me and I am trying to implement the learnings in my life as well. Thank you so much. It is great communicating with you and I look forward to interact with you further. I have also connected with you on IG - not to miss anything special from you❣️

@SandeepN-cl3qs 8 ай бұрын

Thank you 😊

@YouTubeUzername 8 ай бұрын

Good morning, thanks for the invaluable advice!

@SusanWinter 8 ай бұрын

Hey there! I love seeing your handle. Thank you KZfaquzer! You always have such positive things to say. Wishing you the absolute best.

@chrisherber1635 2 ай бұрын

The communication thing is so eye opening. I have NEVER been so intentional and open to healthy communication in my entire life and guess what….i still missed the thing that mattered 😕. Every green flag was there, every sign was there, we spoke about values and everything. The ONE value that mattered the most, she chose not to disclose it and it totally ruined everything. So I guess it wasn’t my fault. I COULD have asked, but since we were talking values and it was important to her, she should have brought it up right? (Had to do with long distance, stupid right?). I’ve never felt so seen, heard, or understood by anyone in my life..how could that have been omitted? I guess it just wasn’t meant to be but I was truly heartbroken, she definitely broke my trust and I guess just got swept up in all the good things we had going on. Question, now I’m almost scared to NOT bring every little thing up. How do we do this without coming off as taking ourselves too seriously?

@Muhluri 3 ай бұрын

I thought putting issues on the table would be productive, unfortunately my partner just used it as a free opportunity to talk shit about me. I was sad when we broke up, but quickly moved on when I realised that it's just my ex's insecurities showing and I'm not 100% at fault

@crf450rbulletdavid9 2 ай бұрын

She put you down for trying to have a grown relationship conversation? Your better off man, I'm sure you know. Break ups suck no matter what be cause we invested in that person and sometimes we think false thoughts like she is the one, and when they show you signs of dishonesty or manipulation listen to them. Most people will tell on themselves a little bit at a time. I learned that the hard way unfortunately.

@Philphil2024 8 ай бұрын

Thank you for great advice, all always

@SusanWinter 8 ай бұрын

Mido!!!!!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

@mlantieri 8 ай бұрын

Hi lovely Susan. I agree with everything (in theory) but my experience is that most women would never agree to such rules upfront. Women like mystery, want to be in control and therefore dont divulge much early on until they feel comfortable. If a man sets rules too early, they will run…..just my experience and opinion. Hugs to you and my favorite pup Nikka🥰🐶.

@SusanWinter 8 ай бұрын

Mark! Firstly, woof, woof woof. Woof woof. Woof.!! That was Nikka’s commentary. And I do understand what you’re saying about mystery and women opening up slowly and perhaps feeling cornered by a man speaking so directly -it takes finesse. And you have to read the person. And, moreover, from your observation and experience of yourself, and your friends, dating women, who have been mysterious, what percentage have easily moved into a mutually agreeable partnership (Where are the goals and values in terms of engagement are the same) ? I would love to hear your perspective on that question.

@mlantieri 8 ай бұрын

@@SusanWinter easy answer Susan……ALL the ones unwilling or unable to set boundaries/expectations were not “keepers”. My current partner never exhibited any reluctance to discuss anything early on in our relationship so I had to kiss many frogs before I found my “prince” (or “princess” in this case). Have fun in Miami👍😎🧑🏻‍🎄.

@jeanp.1303 8 ай бұрын

Good morning Susan and Nikka 🤗

@SusanWinter 8 ай бұрын

Jean P!!❤❤❤

@epicfail6786 8 ай бұрын

Can you still move on, forget the obsession, if the one that you cared for or loved is your roommate? We always see each other but he’s avoiding me now

@SusanWinter 7 ай бұрын

I agree that it is harder to move on when you must see them every day. This will take more time than if you could go no contact and never have them in your sphere. The fact that he's avoiding you now probably means that he feels as uncomfortable as you do. Just keep your head high and try to move on internally, even though you still see him.

@mwintersweet3538 8 ай бұрын

Off topic, but this shirt really looks great on you!! Can we know which brand it is please?😊

@SusanWinter 8 ай бұрын

Ah. Thank you!! Proenza Schouler

@verticalbay 8 ай бұрын

Ok question.. will it always be a better idea to let the other person know my intention/s why I’m dating? And when I did, it either they got scared or (for the most recent one) things got dragged along waiting for the other person to figure out what they want (they don’t know what they want to begin with).

@Earthly_Being 8 ай бұрын

You’re the aunt I wish I had ❤

@miraarim 3 ай бұрын

Great advice!!🎉

@Tammylynneharvey 8 ай бұрын

Cute top, thanks for all your great videos

@SusanWinter 8 ай бұрын

Thank you Tammy and thank you for your wonderful commentary

@ilivenotforyou 2 ай бұрын

❤

@terrilee734 8 ай бұрын

I will send that text today.

@terrilee734 7 ай бұрын

I heard nothing! I'm checking obituaries

@ParisianStreets 7 ай бұрын

is there anyway to communicate i want more without scaring them off

@SusanWinter 7 ай бұрын

yes, diplomatically and calmly.

@ParisianStreets 7 ай бұрын

scripts would help on how to make them open up thanks@@SusanWinter

@pauladavis8846 6 ай бұрын

How soon do you ask what their relationship desires are?

@sethtenrec 5 ай бұрын

First meeting for goals, desires. Why wait? If I want monogamous long-term, and you want free-to-date-anyone, no point moving forward..

@DC-if9sv 5 ай бұрын

What do I do if I slept with him right away and he 15 years younger than me. He said it wouldn’t affect our friendship but he hasn’t made a move since it was just very casual. It was like a one night stand but it’s been a month and I’ve thought about him obsessively all month and he hasn’t contacted me. He is also a bit famous so I don’t want to give him attention I feel like he expects that or that’s his norm. It’s just weird because we go to the same place and we will surely bump into each other.

@sethtenrec 5 ай бұрын

It was a one night stand … move on, you were used. It happens to everyone one way or another.

@DC-if9sv 5 ай бұрын

⁠We have known each other for a long time it wasn’t a one night stand I said that we were friends. We have met up and spoke since I posted, and we’re meeting up again tomorrow, but thanks for the advice. V. Helpful. 🙄

@jeffreycheng5984 8 ай бұрын

Every girl whose phone number i get has flaked on me, validating my cynicism.

@spyroluver0951 8 ай бұрын

good job getting the numbers, maybe it's how you communicate? I had a guy recently get my number then call up talking about himself for an hour and then try to see how far he can get away with saying stupid things on the phone. Ended it without a first date.

@sethtenrec 5 ай бұрын

@@spyroluver0951exactly, i’ve had excellent luck talking with women on the phone. But you have to learn the art of conversation, plenty of KZfaq videos on that as well!

@jeffreycheng5984 8 ай бұрын

No relationships for old men.