Tell them a boundary and then sit back and watch them violate it on purpose

Your self-love has to be louder than your desire to be loved.

Best relationship boundary with a narcissist, to NOT have a relationship.

Don’t talk about your boundaries. Just set and hold them. Talking about them will only educate a narcissist on what your vulnerabilities are, and they will exploit and manipulate them.

"don't let anyone treat you in a way that you would never treat someone else." That one made things more clear.

A tip for anyone still feeling stuck in a relationship with a narc like I felt I was a few years back is this. Expose them in a very simple way. For example, I signed a 3 year lease on a house with mine earlier than I wanted to, then later realized he was toxic and broke up with him but he wouldn't let me out of the lease and he wouldn't leave the house because he still wanted to be together. He would rage at ke for HOURS for breaking up with him. I held firm and wouldn't get back together just to make him calm down and have some form of peace, so he would continued to throw massive fits and scream at me for hours. I bought a lock for my door but he still would break into my room and attack me for hours. One day I had the idea of pulling out my phone and recording him when he was in a rage. The first time I pulled out my phone and told him I would post the recording online for all his friends & family to see, he instantly stopped screaming, turned and started RUNNING in the opposite direction of me, up the stairs into his room. The second time, same thing, instantly stopped screaming and RAN, not walked, out the door. I never had to record a third time between he not only left me alone but 2 weeks later he found a new place because of his fear of being exposed was so intense. Start recording people!!!

Thank you! Healing from a 32 year marriage with a very charming covert narcissist. Your videos have shown me what real relationships should look and feel like. Thank you so very much.

Best protection against narcissists (speaking from too much experience unfortunately) is being a mentally strong person with a strong personality, strong boundaries, a strong sense of purpose and belief in yourself. Even then some narcissists may view you as a challenge but they will usually give up pretty easily if you keep your focus on yourself - in a healthy way. Narcissists want people who will focus on THEM - not themselves. The best safety against allowing narcissists to get too close to you is to actually radically care about your own wellbeing 😇

“ if somebody doesn’t care about your boundaries, they don’t care about you” wow wise words

"Boundaries don't require them to agree with them for you to enforce them" This is empowerment gold.

Gaslighting is very subtle. Dangerous.

Number one sign of a narc is that they bash everyone except you, but only at first. The bashing eventually lands on their intended target, you. Anyone who shows off- has to be the center of attention in a group, the funny one at the party, the winner of every game, the most talented, is the narc. No more funny people, they are narcs in disguise

I can absolutely testify of the power of setting boundaries. In dating the man who is now my husband, we set all sorts of boundaries to protect our relationship. Neither of us wanted to engage in any sexual relations outside of marriage, and so I thought a curfew was wise. And he helped me stick with it, even when it was hard. And he always respected my body and person. The way a man touches you is very indicative of his respect for you, and I saw that he never touched me in ways that were inappropriate or sexual. Now, 4 years of marriage later, I am grateful for this absolutely wonderful man in my life!:). He is a loving father and devoted husband, and I am so grateful we set those boundaries that helped us draw even closer together.

1. Talk about your boundaries. Pushes the wrong person away. Understand what you deserve and what relationship needs to be fulfilling and respectful. 2. Do not trust who lack accountability. 3. Vulnerable with you. Safe enough to be curious about each other lives/love. Take things slowly in the beginning. 4. Genuine empathy as a skill. Learn when it’s time to leave(doesn’t care about how their behaviour affects you, abuses you, neglectful, demeans, blame, gaslights, dismissive). Doesn’t have capacity to love. Look for honest, consistent with actions and words, repair conflicts with you, not confused all the time, desire to be safe place to be honest. Become person who stands up for themselves, who doesn’t need saving, advocate for legitimate needs and boundaries, desires respectfully , knows their worth and value, treats others with kindness, respect, consideration and understand its reciprocated in their relationship otherwise it won’t happen.

Boundaries are MAGIC. Setting standards and holding space for respect of self is sooooo important. Boundaries make healthy people feel really safe. When someone responds badly to a boundary it is a GOLDEN clue.

Grew up with a narcissistic mother, divorced a narcissistic wife. Recently came in contact with the person who wanted to be my friend and this guy did the equivalent of friendship love bombing. This time I understood what was happening and that explaining it to them would be worse than useless because they would just use it to make me feel like shit for not wanting to hang out with them. I don't trust him. When I explained that I was busy and needed my space, he pushed harder. I now understand that it is not just my right, but it is my healthy obligation to myself. Thanks for your support.

Narcissist, takes your words, and turns them around to fit what they want you to be saying.

I am 74 and just learned about 'taking care of myself'.. I always thought it meant being independent.

It is so, so vital to hear a MAN deliver this message and bolster the good work of female counselors spreading this message. Thank you!! 🙂

Too often the narcs best pick is “hoping” they’ll be “picked” “chosen”!!! Start shopping for what YOU want! Get off the shelf!!!! Be the shopper!!!

I've heard: "I'm sorry," quite often. But time told me that's just what needed to be said to obtain the desired reaction.

I have stated my boundaries around people right away. They played me. They pretended to respect my boundaries and crossed them later harming me. I'm not giving details,, but predators are experts at pretending they care in the beginning,

Another thing narcissists do is look at you as an inanimate object, so if a plastic cup is cracked or broken it gets thrown out, that is how they see people, that is how they treat people when and especially if they find a new supply for their mountain-sized ego. Yet they find it difficult to be alone/single and not getting constant praise. They very much care how things "look" to others this matters to them a lot. They are also not very kind to animals and often neglect their children at home or are only pleasant when their child accomplishes something "superficial." Edit: will add that of course there are levels to this and not 100% of narcissists are exactly the same, but thwse are just some of the things to look out for.

My Mom married a full-blown narcissist recently. Sometimes I work with him and I never let him get away with anything. I hold him accountable and he hates it

Don’t think a narcissist is able to listen to this very deep talk! You’re wasting your breath because they have no empathy. They are not your project , your only option is to RUN! They don’t understand boundaries and will never know how to respect them. Stop caring! Stop explaining! Stop 🛑! Leave!

I've just had another experience with a co-worker who totally disrespected me, bullied, and acted in a very aggressive way. It's a part time job, no real income from it, but I enjoy the time spent in serving the public. I refused to respond to this bad behavior. SO, I talked to the owner and ask for different days to work. Explained the situation with the co worker Have learned from the past not to argue, it's a no win situation. The owner agreed, and apologized for the person, with I told him was not necessary, this was for her to do. I refuse to he disrespected, critizied and bullied. I am worth being respected and valued. Thank you!

I'm now put off by men who are very enthusiastic about me very quickly, who lovebomb me and really step on the gas. If you have no experience or are needy, you can think that's 'real love' - in adult eyes it's just 'absurd'. If you don't know me, you can't love me, can you? Personally, I don't care what makes men tick - even co-dependent people can lovebomb you. None of this works for me. I want a mentally and emotionally mature man by my side - or I'd rather be alone. And yes - setting boundaries separates the wheat from the chaff. You can't change anyone. I've stopped trying to change men. They are how they appear to me, and that's that. There's nothing more to know. The only question is: Is this good for me? Do I feel strong, safe and beautiful with this man? If no, I know what to do. Edit: I don't know how it is in the US, but here in Europe the use of swear words in a relationship is rather unacceptable. Nothing where you take a deep breath for 10 minutes and then move on. For me, the fact of being called swear words would be a reason to break up, not an annoying detail.

I told my 46yo brother I know he's a narcissist last september and I haven't heard much from him since. It's bliss 😂

Sitting here in tears. I told myself I wouldn't watch another video about narcissism. Some part of me knows the truth but it always gets an override from the part of me that says, "maybe its you, you are not nice, you are always complaining, you are never ok, you never laugh, you are not fun, you are too sensitive, too serious...." and sadly that voice is louder inside me. I had a crap couple weeks that have left me in this same depressed " how do I get out of this relationship" hamster wheel, where I beat myself up, cry, come undone, act like a crazy person ask for things, beg for things I need from a person I don't like at all. (its complicated). Today I clicked here and something resonated, maybe I am just ready to start doing thing differently, living a different way. He isn't a bad person, he works hard, he shares his paycheck, he is adventurous and the life of the party. He just isn't for me. I feel like a pet, or an armchair, a personal assistant. Some one he needs, but not someone he sees or values as a human being. Maybe that is dramatic. I feel physically ill every single morning. Like morning sickness with my babies. I don't look forward to the day even when I have something to look forward to. If he is not included, if he doesn't have better plans I always get sabotaged... I do it to myself. I think I am ready to start listing more, and hurting less...not sure how to move this ball forward but I have to try, I am not getting any younger. It's been too long.

I talked about my boundaries, I talked about my trauma. She used my trauma against me and violated my boundaries anyway.

Some narcissists will test you on 2-3 date as it happened to me becuse they want sex quick. So boundaries will make them ghost you, better early than ever. Narcs hate boundaries.

THIS should be the most shared video on the internet.

The bottom line is, to know your needs and boundaries. We can't change narcissistic people but we can change how we choose to be treated.

One can speak to accountability all they want but if they are empty words, then it's time to go back to the drawing board. Truly narcissistic behavior is by definition unaccountable.

I talked about all the stuff....but it just teaches them what to hide

Described my Ex and my mother! I had to take a deep look at myself to see why I ended up in an abusive relationship. Just because something's familiar, doesn't mean it's safe!

I, unfortunately, share a child with the narcissist in my life. He moved 3,000 miles away when he found out I was pregnant, so I thankfully don't have to deal with him very often. But the times I do are less anxiety filled thanks to videos like this.

To add...if someone calls you names during a fight or demeans you in any way, that's their way of showing how capable they are of being disrespectful. It won't change. Run.

His List of what repels a narcissist/toxic person: 0:42 1. Talk about your boundaries 7:34 2. Hold them accountable 12:56 3. Vulnerability on both sides 16:49 4. Genuine Empathy PS: I absolutely HATE when people (mostly guys) don't apologize for their behavior but for "the way I'm feeling about it"! 😅 Makes me go full she hulk!

Sometimes narcissists take a lot of time to reveal their true colors. I knew a co worker for 30 years and considered him a friend. BUt the moment he became my boss his entire personality changed. When I did a little forensic work I realized that he had never had anything good to say about anyone we both knew. Including his wife. And his daughter. I called our producer and told him 'I cannot allow myself to be managed by anyone who cant manage themselves'. I didn't quit, I just didn't respond to his rage texts and messages. I eventually worked out a deal with the producer who paid me thru the end of my contract. I'll never speak to my former 'friend' again. I did run into him once and I looked right through him as if he wasnt' there. Because for me he never was.

People will treat you the way you allow them to treat you. Be smarter & stronger than these creeps.

The narcissist in my life is my mom, and my brother is married to one so he's now whatever version of one a victim turns into after 24 years. I'm a late bloomer in "choosing me" and creating boundaries. After a single instance two months ago with my first time ever speaking to my brother about boundaries ("I am interested in having mutually respectful conversations and I'm on board when my input is included, welcomed, respected. I'm no longer willing to participate in non-productive conversations, which is when I'm treated with disdain and contempt both verbally and in non-verbal communication, when I'm cut off mid sentence and not allowed to finish, and when deflection off-topic goes into questioning or nit-picking and I'm pushed into defending mode over irrelevant little things such as why I parked in the place I parked."), he won't talk to me now. This is devastating to me. But I'm not going to rescind my new boundaries with him. Since I'm so new to this, I'm completely lost in what I need to do for me when it comes to my mom... Thank you so much for your videos. They are helping me so much... You are very much appreciated❤

I told a man I’d been dating only briefly that I wouldn’t sleep with him if he was sleeping with other people. He was actually a very good communicator and well-practiced at being able to talk about things many other men would shy away from. So I felt safe creating this boundary with him. And he graciously wasn’t interested in that arrangement. It was a little awkward, but we parted ways very amicably. And it was such a good experience for me. Now I have no trouble expressing such things early on. I am not interested in casual relationships, and now I don’t waste any time or effort on men that aren’t interested in what I’m looking for. I truly respect that man and have no judgment about his dating preferences. And our open conversation was proof that men that know how to communicate and be respectful do very much exist.

They are the first one that is surprised when you leave. And they do move on quickly.

I found a MASSIVE tool to practice when I was confused and had low self worth. I noticed in therapy that my (now ex) wife would behave drastically different in therapy than at home alone with her. It was as if she was a different person, i jokingly thought to myself things would be fine if we had a therapist as a roommate. The tool was that I started recording our conversations (video & audio) because i wanted to demonstrate this difference to the therapist. She lost her mind when I started doing this. Blamed me for trying to manipulate other people to believing that she was a horrible person. My response was that the only thing I would be recording was how she behaved. So there was nothing to be embarrassed about but her behaviour. And furthermore if she didn't want anyone to see how she behaved behind closed doors, then why was she behaving that way, and why was it ok to treat me that way. She escalated further, but I gained a great deal of clarity from her apprehension towards being recorded. Recording someone is archiving accountability.

I spent YEARS desperately trying to please my oldest sister, having so much anxiety trying not to set her off, inevitably setting her off, and blaming myself. It was an uneven relationship because I played the role of the pathetic flying monkey desperate for any scraps of positive energy thrown my way, but also probably feeding off of the negative attention too, somehow. Once I began to get some self esteem and put up healthy boundaries she had no use for me. It really hurt, but then I realized, after a couple of years, that I was healing and my life was going better than it was when I was constantly struggling to please someone who couldn’t be pleased. She tried to get back into contact with me by lashing out, and when I didn’t respond positively to that as I had in the past, instantly cowering and begging to be accepted, she really snapped and began a hate campaign against me. She tried to position herself as the leader of the family, having events and then not inviting me. Honestly, it was kind of freeing to see pics of all of these people all together and realize I didn’t miss them. They all agreed that she was horrible, but what could they do? She was the one who held the event, after all. Impossible for them not to go, right? lol. She’s had the nerve of trying to lash out at me from time to time, saying horrible things, but I would rather have no family than be forced to hang out with an abusive person just to feel “included,” going home in tears like I did after every single family holiday back when I was under her thumb. No thanks ❤

Better to don’t even engage. Run don’t walk.

I have a friend who is going through a divorce after 36 years. I remember a few red flags from early in their relationship. Once, he was sitting behind her when she was driving on the highway. She accidentally left the turn signal on, and he became so irritated with her that he yelled and kicked her through the back of the driver's seat. Mind you, she didn't tell me about this. I was in the car with them, and I saw it first hand. I could never imagine putting up with such an abusive stunt. This wasn't the only incident I witnessed either. Imagine how much worse he probably behaved when others weren't watching. How I wish I had asked her about it or offered to help at the time.

Note to my self: IF I ever go to another family reunion, I will have my own lodging, and my own vehicle available to me 100 percent of the time.

Got damn right! 💯💯 The BEST defense against a narcissist is loving yourself/your boundaries! ❤️❤️💯💯💯💯💯

narcissist kryptonite = video record every interaction 24/7

My husband would never take a break and come back after 30 minutes it will be silent treatment for days and days

I said to my partner, "i dont want to have sex for at least 6 months, i want to get to know you first." I was 6 months out of a 3 month relationship with my close friend of many years. He was super abusive, and i was SA'd a lot. I really wanted to feel like i knew my partner before getting into things like that because i met him so soon after, and i needed time. He was angry and said that he could wait a couple of months. I bent to his will, and he was shocked when i broke down crying during the first time. He was confused about why i would slap him away when he came too close. I was working through PTSD. Btw he was a virgin... his whole life, and he couldn't wait 6 more months for my comfort. He did explain it's because he didn't want to be led on, but to me, that's not enough.

I finally realized my worth and what I give, do, and who I am in a relationship and left, went no contact. Nothing they can say or do will get me back, time to focus instead my studied, work, health, and peace of mind.

Oh my mom is a narcissist AND is vulnerable. It’s always about her and her feelings. Shes the only one who’s allowed to be vulnerable and only her feelings and emotions are valid.😐

Unfortunately they are in my family. Yes, that was a plural. It is interesting to see the mechanics, but it is also sickening, tiring, and painful.

Just got out of a very short (thank God) time of dating someone. I knew, when a conflict arose and he became mean and accusatory, that I couldn’t live the rest of my life with someone like that. But you have helped me to see clearly the behaviors even before that that were signs I needed to get out. Thanks for your videos!

Thank you, Jimmy, for this valuable upload! When I replace “narcissist” with “people with toxic behavior patterns”, this highly resonates with my experiences. Toxic childhood conditioning is a killer. I have doubted myself a lot as I attracted quite a few of that species in my life, making me question my sanity and worth. It took a long time before I started to set, enforce and live by my boundaries.

Absolutely! If we don’t let ourselves be controlled from the beginning, then narcissists won’t want us anyway

I talked about my boundaries with my husband before we got married. When I got pregnant everything changed with him.

I just dawned on me today that the best way to recognize a narcissist is to show them a really, really heart warming photo of for example small puppies and watch their reaction. If they don't have a heart-felt reaction, you are most likely dealing with a narcissist, because they have NO empathy.

Jimmy I'm not sure that 30 minutes break is enough for someone calling you names. People who don't control their words tend not to control their acts, too. Calling names can be begging of abuse, we should immediately leave them. Agree with everything else

Sure wish I’d known this instead of the 10 years of misery, loss of my retirement, loss of family, loss of my children.

Absa-frickinlootley true!!! Only through these videos, am I able to see what I went through for 9 years. So grateful that am no longer with that type of person.

Am I the narcissist? I feel like everyone I meet is a narcissist, and I"m starting to wonder if I"m projecting onto others what I am myself. I have not met very many people who are decent. Of course I feel that I"m a decent person, so I'm probably the narcissist. I have zero friends because I'm not interested in narcissists. They suck the life out of me. People are nice, and you let your guard down, then BAM! the agenda begins to reveal itself.

"Would you at least be willing to admit that if you had said what i heard, that was wrong." Dang. I needed to hear that. I will try to say that. Maybe it will go well. Maybe not. But it is a step forward. Thank you. We both love your content.

Perfect timing. I did not know how to care for and about myself. I’m 56. I was programmed to be a victim which is an umbrella word. The pain is so severe it’s shocking and horrific.

Thank you for the video. Thats the route I took with my ex. He was always making it seem like I wasnt doing enough in the relationship although I was doing most of the work...he would make me out to be a terrible person so I said, "I dont have anything more to give so if youre not satisfied with me and you feel mistreated, I will bow out gracefully because I just want you to be happy even if its without me" He still deemed it as abandoning him.

Very powerful words. I don’t believe this was a coincidence that your message came up on my feed today. Thank you. Years of accepting love breadcrumbs (started in my childhood) through my 36 years of marriage. It’s decision making time on my terms.

1:07 1:22 👏🙌👌Any relationship can fail because of the lack of compatibility but how it fails tells us much about if we are dealing with a narcissist or not.

Yes! talk about your boundaries..what you need to feel safe and loved ...the only person who doesn't like when you set a boundary is a controlling person.

All of this….. yes! Taking anything “new” in a super slow manner while looking for genuine empathy will give you clear perspective over time.

One of the best videos I have seen on Narcissism. I have watched over 100 of them at this point, I think. This really helped, thank you.

Both my parents and my sister are narcissists. This channel has helped me so much to figure out how to handle them. Thank you.

I love you. Most of the narcissist related content is pretty negative because its is pointing constantly to the evil in them, and it can send us into more and more dark mental loops. We really need people who can talk to us with love and compassion and give us tools to cope, overcome and transform ourselves in order to really be free. We need to focus on our healing, not their evil.

I'm in awe.😲 Such an accurate description of my relationship. No support in hard times, on the contrary, blaming and shaming me, cornering me and forcing me to over react only to be able then to call me crazy.

This video has helped validate my feelings and actions regarding my parents. It’s like you’re speaking the exact language. The SHAME imposed. Never love, only shame. Thank you so much for sharing this information on this platform. I appreciate you!

Actions are not words. So grateful for these helpful tips. Thank you

I’m taking every word in. Thank you so so much. I can’t believe how spot on this is even some exact things I spoke in a conversation I just had with my “partner” recently. Concerning how he has been treating me since we moved in together and about an important and basic boundary I had to feel safe (that is so basic and common sense for any loving , respectful relationship) that he just all of a sudden decided he didn’t need to honor it anymore just because it “annoys him and he doesn’t want to and that’s it”So I’m learning and doing things with love and kindness but pivoting on my “plan” for my own peace. Respect and calm. 🙏

You're absolutely right! Thank you for your videos I have often sent them to my husband but to no avail. He knows he's not doing right so he's just running like a coward to another state it probably is a blessing disguise but it's so hard because I am 61 years old and I've been married to him for 30 years

You need to call them out before they have taken away your freedom and have convinced you to give up your housing, your friends, and your ability to easily get away. You need to confront them in the very beginning and require accountability immediately. They will try to shame you into staying, but you just need to walk away. Do this when the confusion starts.

Authenticity, boundary setting, and clear (straightforward) calm, kind communication: are all things Narcissists can't stand as you disengage and walk away❤🙏 Great video! Esp the part about boundaries = if they have an issue with them (even an eye-roll) = that's your cue! Exit stage left 👋

This is absolutely true. I grew up with a narcissist mom and brother and after 40 years of my life was destroyed, I rebuilt it and it was only after I learned how to love myself completely that I now feel fear from both of them when they’re around me. So much that they don’t mess with me anymore. Self Love is the strongest armor against manipulation and gaslighting.

Run when you leave them. Don't take them back. If you do, everytime, they'll make you the bad guy when they end it.

Well, in my case she won completely, I live guarded wether I want or not. My only dream left is becoming an hermit.

I am really scared by hearing how many narcisist there are around... Just went no contact with my mom this month, it hurts.

I know a person who made her now husband wait for 6 months, and he had sex with other women the entire 6 months until the day came, and then had sex with her. He was/is a narcissist. I felt so bad for her then and, two boys and more than 15 years later, they are still married. It has been exhausting for her, and the two boys are little mini-me copies of the narcissistic male. She had money and wanted an attractive husband, and she got that physically "attractive" gene pool, and he got access to her money and her father's business so he never had to worry about his career again. Be careful what you wish for because setting a boundary is a challenge to some narcissists, especially if they perceive it as a virtue. Making them wait 6 months is a bragging point for some narcissistic males...and it makes them *temporarily* perceive you as a high-value target, especially if your family has money or resources that will elevate their status.

This man is brilliant. Thank you for adding DO NOT STAND UP TO THEM, face to face is NOT the time.

This is such an important video! You cannot control who you meet, but you can choose the way you react to bad behaviour.

I absolutely love how succinctly you describe what a healthy relationship should look like. Thank you so much for providing this content!

Jimmy, as usual, this is SPOT ON! I left my husband after 39 years of marriage because I finally started to tell my family that I count, too. I am slowly learning to love myself and learn who I really am. If I ever get into another relationship, I will use your information as a guide. Thank you!

this video is quite assumptive of others feelings in my opinion. when you reach a spiritual awakening and level of awareness & finally tune in with your body it is much easier to spot when someone is being dishonest, gaslighting, and just ridiculous. its not worth your energy leave em they always be running back because guess what you are true, you are genuine, you are magnetic. that energy cannot be replicated or replaced. your light cannot be replicated, like I genuinely feel the energy in the room shift when I walk in its kind of weird at the start and now it is something I just embrace. it is my bubbliness, my sunshine and it is so attractive. I love that about myself so leave them alone and do not look back. it took me a long time to differentiate this, a lot of pain, isolation, and soberness but now I choose to believe god will only align me with humans meant to be in my energetic force field and will reveal to me those that do not belong,

I hear about BOUNDARIES. What is missng is a deep dive into what you mean by boundaries. This was used on me by an 18 year old who told ME that she was depressed and crying walking down to the water at 2 am by herself. IM A MOM!. You tell me this stuff and then GHOST me for weeks? I started checking her friends, the school etc. I had not heard from her, she wasn't replying to me or anybody else. So now, IM accused of not respecting HER boundaries by checking on her! She has not spoken or replied or written anything other than to say ( By text this last summer) Thankyou for coming to my graduation. mSo, Please don't just say BOUNDARIES. Clarify!

I was in a narcissist relationship. Thanks to these videos, I did see the behaviour once the mask came down and I got out. What I never thought possible was. I had a narcissist boss who targeted me, and did all the toxic behaviour. I had to go on leave as my mental state was not okay dealing with it. This narcissistic boss targets one person after another; **I’d like to see a video on narcissistic bosses. There is not much info out there on this.

Actually these type of statements do not push them away. They see it as a challenge and you have just gave them a perfect roadmap to trigger you. They will not do it openly, but for example kiss you on your cheek, but a bit too close to the mouth (if you said you will not kiss on a first date) They move with plausable deniability. Best to not tell them anything and immediately act on your boundaries. If he touches you a bit too intimate while sitting next to him, move to the other chair and say you dont want to be touched yet. If he makes raises his voice towards yelling leave the date and tell him that you do not accept loud speech. Stop talking and start acting.

Hello Jim, thank you so much for your kind, passionate and very wise words. I agree with you 100%! Its so hard for us to realise at first, that they transform in little, little steps from an absolute dream into an absolute nightmare. Mostly we are deep (to deep?) in, when we "wake up". Traumabonded intensly high. Thank God, i am free now for good ten months but I have to admit: he left! (For the 4th! time!). But this time I ve promised myself that he wont be welcomed back. And Jim: HE TRIED HARD TO! Today I m doing great. Turning back into the old me day by day. And JUST because of YOU and Danish! I can not express how grateful I am to both of you! Thank you so much, once again! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Jimmy, thank you for all your good videos. I am so unhappy trapped in a loveless marriage to a man with tons of unchanging cruel covert narcissist traits. I've been unhappy all 23 long years. Yes I come from a home that predisposed me to this miserable marriage. I wish I had this knowledge earlier in life. I don't know why sometimes. I am utterly trapped and have 3 children. I now see it all and understand it all, but yet have to continue to live with him when I so long to be free. I pray for a way. Thank you for your wonderful messages you post on your channel.

Narcissistic abuse… just because you are “used to it” and can “cope with it” DOES NOT mean you should see it as a pattern of relationship building.

This is the best video I've seen. Ive heard this all from others on here, but never all at one time. So concise and to the point. You hit it all and were so clear. Every single thing fit my relationship & I pushed it all aside and kept trying to be loved. I'm going to listen to this again & again and take notes! Thank you so much!

Your words are deeply healing for a person with a Narcissist mother who tried to live vicariously through her child. I had thought she 'killed' me (ego death/death of self identity) but instead, I found the abused child at the core of myself and I was able to finally give that kid someone to look up to. Me. It took a lot of positive messages, help, medicine, and love to get me to that point, but these days, things are good. I never thought I would feel like 'me' again.