Traumatized parents are so out of touch with their emotions, they won't detect signs of events that shook the child to be there for them, eventually repeating the cycle. Surviving the survivors is a real thing.

"The foundation of your safety has not been destroyed." Well put. Explains perfectly why parental abuse and neglect can be so painful and traumatic: The foundation for your safety, which is supposed to be your parents, are the very ones responsible for your safety. If your first foundation is destroyed or questionable, it's truly a miracle to be a productive person later in life. I guess that I am a miracle then: Only college graduate and the only one with a professional job.

That is a problem when your parents cause the trauma.

When you've got so much trauma compartmentalized In your brain that pulling the wrong box out could crush you, you've already realized parental neglect was thw foundation of all that pain

This is intriguing because I’ve run across people who sound like they’d blow off the fact their kid was traumatized because their perception is showing concern for someone’s trauma is actually crippling them to become needy. Very very intriguing. I guess those who lack empathy are extremely traumatized individuals who count their strength as camouflage to actually being wounded

...and when it turns out nobody's really there for you, not even your family, you might sink so low into your trauma that you find in there your Self; the Self that was lost long time ago. And then, Thank God, you have someone to overcome that trauma with.

This book goes great with the mindfulness book "30 Days to Reduce Anxiety" by Harper Daniels. Both have helped me develop a good routine.

I so appreciate this explanation. Way too many people toss around the term trauma to refer to anything that upset them that it has lost real meaning when it has specific implications that attention seekers cannot begin to truly grasp.

As a child i cleaned up the blood, then told her where the bruises were (mum was blind) I hated me for not being able to stop it. I hated me for not being 'good enough' to make family life peaceful. It was my fault then and it is still my fault.

I can remember the moment where I had no control. Couldn’t look away, couldn’t make any face, couldn’t fidget, every single physical response my body had to trauma was identified and stripped from me. There was a point where i could do absolutely nothing without receiving criticism while being berated. I can feel myself at the moment when I fragmented and the dissociation began. Freeze response is so challenging because it feels like you’re in a burning building and even though the flames are starting to touch you, you can’t react. People always tell me how laid back and calm I am but they don’t understand how much we mask. I may seem stoic on the outside while my mind is screaming and racing with panic and worry or I’m completely checked out. There are so many times I go shopping and all the sudden I’m at the other end of the building as if my brain shut down while I walked around

We have this book and utilize its deep wisdom in our trauma work. Me as an Animist Minister trainee and my husband as a mental health councilor. Thank you good Sir!

"That is bc your foundation of safety is not destroyed". ...

Right sir ! Foundation of safety is really needed !!

Oh man then I've been broken for life. Cancer at age 8 till 18 then suffer with side effects till late 20s then widowmaker at 31 plus 3 stents then a heart transplant just 9 months ago

I was in a mental hospital where they tied me up for nine days without any reason and without allowing me to go to the bathroom and it traumatized me. My parents were there when they let me out but I was and I felt completely alone when they did that to me. I’m still dealing with the consequences that come after the trauma.

Thank You for this wonderful explanation! It helps me understand me better! 😊❤

May I thank you for your insight. Never knew it was not the event it is the response.! ❤

This is so true that the support you got after the traumatic event really matters. I have two friends, both childhood victims of sexual abuse. One could never tell her mother or father and had to hide it for years and now she has CPTSD. The other one told her mother and father, who protected her fearlessly. She is fine with it. She can talk about it. She does work for organizations that help children of sex abuse.

This guy is a genuis❤

That’s a very powerful statement: 👇 “The trauma is not the event, it’s how you respond to it” Noted! ♥️

I was not even there for myself in the face of trauma 🙁. I’m fr tweaking.

I come from a very unstable life, Abortion Survivor, life on the street, and lots of prison ! In 2018, i was alone and was mauled and left disable, this 6 years ago, and I cant get my life to work, no one was there for me, and still, I am alone and really struggling !

My mother and stepfather were the cause of my trauma. No one was there to save me from the belt or the beatings.

It is really hard when (almost) nobody is there at that time so you are alone or when people cannot help you. So it gets big.

Fantastic book and great topic

Too often the person occupying the space, “Who is there for you?” Takes the side of the dog.

And when the trauma and unsafely is your parents.... then good luck and god speed in healing. It's time to put yourself first and prioritize YOU.

Adoptees experience trauma when they are separated from their mothers, even at birth. They are not given a choice of how to react to the abandonment.

I wish it was just a dog bite...I had 16 yrs of parental abuse and neglect😢

I’ve been traumatized ever since I was born and the trauma included what was being done to me so I’m not sure I agree with trauma not being the event. I believe it’s a combination of both action and response.

Trauma..... What's that ? The experience of trauma is really unimaginable.

🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

🙏

Sadly I feel this 😔

my parents never liked me.

Yes, trauma is something overwhelming that happens to you that you can't make sense of. But unlike this dude's explanation, it is still a trauma if you figure out how to make sense of it or someone helps you make sense of it. In that case, it's just not something that turns into PTSD. The trauma is not "how you respond to it," it IS THE EVENT. That's where this guy goes off the rails. Trauma is the thing that happened. End of story. How you respond is someting else all together. His narrative is bunk.

No one was there for me

I respond horribly! Lol

That all?

Take stance and stand firm. The flesh stores tension and stress which can lead to temptation and so exercise and dating can help. Exercises such as stretching and cardio. Read the Bible and meditate on it.

What if your childhood sexual trauma doesn't upset you at all...? It should right?

I don't agree

So trauma is the inability to cope with an event?

The Nazism Techniques