My crew and I watched this at the station tonight. We’re a smaller fire agency north of Tacoma. We thank you all for your strength and commitment to make this. The stigma needs to end.

I’ve been in the fire service for 20 years. Worked my way up to paramedic and then Lieutenat. I got diagnosed with PTSD a couple years ago after an injury I got on the job. Truth be told I had symptoms for a couple of years before finally being pulled off the rig. I thought I could handle it on my own, it got worse. I acted out against my family. Thankfully instead of leaving me, my wife reached out to some of my friends on the job. She saved my life. I mean that, I would have killed myself on the path I was on. I started talking to a counselor whose a former paramedic, suffering from PTSD herself. I still have a long road ahead of me, but I’ll make it. I loved my job, I miss my brothers and sisters, I miss putting my gear on the rig, I miss the firehouse. But I’m so blessed to have gotten to experience it for as long as I did. I love my family, I’ve returned to a life of faith, and I thank God that he saved me through my wife. My department has experienced 2 suicides over the past 10 years due to PTSD. Almost every department around us has experienced suicides as well. We spend our careers training to survive the job, but we’re failing. We’re damn good at mayday’s and firefighter survival, and now it’s time to get damn good at preventing suicide amongst our ranks. The more we talk about it, the more we can heal. I urge anyone seeing this, going through your own personal hell, CALL A MAYDAY! Talk to someone, I know it’s hard, but we owe it to ourselves to do it. It took me going to a couple of different counselors before I found one that I felt understood me. Don’t give up. As most of us are told, this is the best job in the world, and it really is. But don’t let it consume you, don’t let it kill you. CALL YOUR MAYDAY! No one is going to think any less of you, YOU ARE STRONG and this will make you stronger. God bless you, my brothers and sisters. I love you and know you’re not alone.

“I would go to sleep not knowing which demon was going to visit me…” Damn that’s heavy

I am a retired Military Medic and a EMT/Firefighter. I suffer from PTSD. This is a excellent clip. Thank you for posting this.

I'm a retired London FF. This really hit home! Seems us Firefighters are the same people whichever country we're from!!

Retired after 32 years. Loved the job. Wouldn't change what I did. Two divorces, etc... I was diagnosed with ptsd last year. It took my current wife 9 years to convince me to go talk to someone. I am so glad she convinced me to go. I am starting to feel like everything is going to be okay. As soon as I understood what was happening to me, It gave me a direction to go. It was like a door opened and I could finally see a good outcome.

EMDR is legit, if you have access to it, DO IT. I went into my first session thinking “this is so dumb, it’s not going to work” and 5 minutes in, my brain cracked open and I was overwhelmed with emotion. It really helped me process everything that was bothering me

My girlfriend has always been who I have confided in with my struggles. My Chief was the one who caught it early on and helped me realize I could seek help and that our lives and mental health mattered. He put it that having PTSD and being affected by what we have seen: "doesn't make you any less of a first responder" and that "feeling these thing is normal for us who see these horrible things." I was turning to alcohol and he caught onto it pretty early on. Peer support is important, and there needs to be more videos and documentaries like this made by departments so we can fight a stronger fight against PTSD and Firefighter suicide.

It’s ok to not be ok, it takes a strong person to ask for help

I served most of my 50 years in the fire service believing I had to be the helper not the helped. Today we are beginning to instill in our firefighters that asking for help when you need it only makes you better at what you do. Culture change in the fire service is slow and usually meets with considerable resistance. Every one of us is responsible to assure a new attitude prevails in our firehouses.

and Dispatchers and Call Receivers also suffer with the what if issues. We don't have the blood on our boots or smoke in our face but we're still in the trenches. We've heard the screams from parents who are begging children not to die, for love one's to wake up. We hear people who die on the phone with us, from medical issues and trauma. We hear the units in the field yelling for help and trying to get help on the way. So yes we also have PTSI (Post traumatic stress injures) that add to our long shifts, no break in between calls, short turn around times due to mandatory overtime.

I wish so much that my firefighter husband were able to see this. He took his own life in 2020, and our family will never be the same.

As a wife of a Firefighter this just breaks my heart...this documentary helped me see more of what my husband and his fellow firefighters go through and the pain you guys suffer. I'm balling...hugs

Just wanted to say how proud I am of all of these firefighters for stepping up and laying it out there.

Well done and my helmet is off to the brave Firefighters who shared their journeys. Retired Captain/PM, with 39 total years, 30 as a career. PTSD in the fire service is real. The things we see, smell and experience, most can never imagine. I experienced it, still have that PTSD area in my brain with all of the memories, but a great counselor saved my marriage. A great local CISD and PEER program, helped many of us. You are all STRONG AND COURAGEOUS. Thank you for your service and sacrifice. Well done TFD!!

This is really well done! As a therapist at the IAFF Center of Excellence I have met over 1500 firefighters from all over the country. The most common reaction I get from someone after their first group therapy sessions is relief in knowing they are not alone in their struggles. The culture seems to be slowly changing to help address the challenges that come with the difficult side of being a first responder but still has a long way to go.

Great video…a little too long and depressing for me personally…I did 32 years as a 1st responder in Los Angeles…I will say, mindset, being strong willed, having releases, strong family…makes a difference. However, with that in mind, being in my early 60’s…all that eternalizing events over the years has taken its toll medically. That being said, I wouldn’t change a thing! LET’S GO!!!

I was a Firefighter for 39 yrs and suffered from PTSD I was able to get help thanks to my Chief and the CIS Management Team and counseling. I wrote 2 books as part of my therapy, it does get better but it is still never over.

It's the greatest job in the world, but it has a price. This story rings a bell for me because it is so true. In the old days, we used to preach, "Check your feelings at the front door and don't bring them inside this department." I've been on those calls, I've experienced things that keep me up at night and I'm 8 years into retirement from the FD. I've walked the walk with brothers who have taken their own lives. I've been 'that guy' thinking about ending it all for some peace. The struggle is real and every sunrise is both a gift, and a challenge. Thank you for sharing your stories and the well done video. Hang strong my brothers and sisters!

I retired after 27 years in the fire department. 2 years later I found myself in a seat at a suicide prevention program called Save A Warrior. That was 3 years ago.

Heroes don’t just save other peoples lives, they also need too save their own. So glad all these people are still here and alive too tell their story. Thank you for sharing this video. Stay safe 🇦🇺

I was sent this video tonight from a friend who retired from Sacramento Fire Department and I just finished watching it. I am a Captain with Sacramento Metropolitan Fire District and one of the coordinators of our Peer Support program. You couldn't have been more spot on. Thank you all for contributing to such a powerfully raw, truthful, and vulnerable documentary. I was very touched by it and have already shared it with multiple people. I really appreciate what you have done here and I know this same sentiment will continue to strongly resonate as more out there watch it.

Marine corps combat vet and joined the fire department here in Virginia. After a bad call I try to reach out to people that ran the call and just talk to them and check on them. It's a strong brother hood just like what we had in the military. We fight for the one to the left and right of us just like the FD dose. Stay safe stay frosty love ya

Just watched this at the station. Listen two of the older firefighters talk about how certain calls effected their life, was like they were reading my mind. I’m sure there’s a lot more inside their heads. Thanks guys, it’s not just me.

A huge thank you to all the firefighters in this video who were willing to put themselves out there to raise awareness about PTSD and healing. Hats off to all of you brave souls!

To those of you that serve our great country whether you are Military , Police , Firefighter , or Ems thank you all so very much for you're service.

30 years ago I left the fire service, I walked away from going paid, all because of the one call I will carry for the rest of my life. I sure wish this was talked about back then. I have been fighting this most of my life on my own. Sure wish we had this 30 years ago. #smashthestigma #firstrespondermentalhealthmatters #1stresponderfamily4life

Thank you for doing this. Your stories will help those of us that struggle to get our departments and coworkers to realize you are strong if you talk about it.

I am not a firefighter, but I have plenty of struggles. It can feel shameful to admit that I might need help, but, I guess, if the folks that have *real* issues to handle are brave enough to talk it out and seek help, it'd be wrong for me to say I'm any different or my struggles are worse. Thank you for this truly beautiful film.

Thank you for putting this together. I've been a first responder since 1985 and know good and well the "Old school" mentality of the past. This meant we didn't do debriefs, we didn't talk about our struggles, and we didn't cry. That attempt to hold all of the stuff we deal with inside, both at work and at home, is what can push us to that level of despair. If we're lucky, we reach that breaking point and call out for help through therapy and peer support. I've seen too many people go past the point of no return though, and opt to end it all because they had no hope for a better tomorrow. What they didn't realize, is that hitting rock bottom means you now have a solid base to build something new and better on. I hope more people watch this and really take its message to heart. You don't know when, or if you'll ever need the help. It's good to know it's there though, if the weight of the world begins to feel like it's too much to bear.

As a Volunteer Fire Fighter entering his second year of service this documentary is eye opening! Thank you for bringing attention to first responder mental health.

First I want to say thank you to the Tacoma Fire Department for the forethought, bravery, and knowledge needed to produce this amazing and invaluable film. We all share this experience in the fire family, the reactions we have are normal and are a way for our bodies to try and defragment and repair what we have been exposed to. No one should ever be left to struggle alone, this is the perfect platform to demonstrate this. I will be sharing this film with my fire family and with my non-fire family. Lets share the hell out of this and make sure everyone who laces up the boots and puts on the uniform knows that they are not alone! Respect and Love to you all from our tiny hall in BC Canada!!

All of you guys working for Tacoma fire Department are Super heroes. I was a Armed security officer for many years and have assisted them on calls on my huge HOA in the Issaquah Plato i responsed to all fire and police calls in my site KCSO Deputies called me their partner and our fire station told me dinner is at 6 pm and feel free to stop for a bit to eat Thank you guys for everything you do and go through and know im still monitoring TFD calls

As a survivor of suicide and a MOS diagnosed with PTSD. This documentary speaks volumes - Thank you Tacoma FD. Bless all of you.

WOW!! Excellent Job This is a subject that has existed for many years and caused so much misery among FFs and their families! THANK YOU for your video and hard work and sharing! Retired FF from Fort Worth 35 years. Lets help our OUR brother and sisters!

Cops and Fire should be 20 years and out.....The wear and tear really hit after 20 years...

Thank you for showing that it’s ok to ask for help! Everyone needs to know it’s ok to ask for help, you are not alone! Great job, all the respect in the world to you all!

Powerful!!! Porter, Pollock and Elmer are absolute role models for their younger colleagues. To step up and publicly show their realities hopefully makes others willing to do the same thing, reaching out for help when needed. It's not natural to experience/witness such horrendous events and be ok with it. Vicarious Traumatization is REAL for all First Responders. Thank you for putting this together.

firefighters are heroes, the only ones who should hear "thank you for your service"

Big thanks to everyone that did this documentary. Remember help is never far away from anyone, also no matter how bad things are in this world, there is always hope and light at the end of the tunnel and someone that cares for you. Thanks for the film tacoma fire department, it was incredible.

I carried my PTSD for most of my life and it destroyed my family and my relationships. I tried to ignore it and hide it and started taking it out on my loved ones. It can be more dangerous to your overall well-being and the rest of your life outside of work. I internalized the traumas I faced and started tearing myself down to the point I wanted to die and alcohol makes it way worse! It’s not weakness to admit you are human and do care about those people you saw suffer! Please know there are some of us that care about your well-being just as much as our own! God Bless You All Y’all are Priceless🙏🙏🙏❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

As a career Firefighter and a Peer Supporter this video should be viewed by every member of every department. Please use Peer Support, talk to someone. The IAFF has awesome Peer training available.

When he talks about the screams... it was almost like I was there again and you hear it all over. It is weird how some calls roll right off the back no biggie but then you get to a call and you never really ever leave it.

These men and women are heroes - even heroes need support! No one can carry that much burden on their shoulders and keep functioning like nothing happened. And there should be more funding for the FDs but also for mental support and counselors so they can keep helping others!

I can’t imagine doing this work and NOT having PTSD. God bless all of you first responders. I have CPTSD from childhood trauma. I get it. I’ve heard nothing but GREAT THINGS about EMDR. I’ve thought I need to do that also. I still get triggered in certain instances.

This documentary is so good. Respect to first responders everywhere.❤️🙌

spent ten years in the fire service. a small dept. we had critical incident debriefs. Noone would talk about most things. most would make light humor of incidences its a way of coping with them. if you spoke up you were branded as weak. I am glad that PTSD is being recognized in the fire service. our dept had to be a paramedic as well as a firefighter with rotations. I had had enough one bad call, I couldn't function to a high capacity that was required anymore. I left the fire service. I still to this day 12 years later still struggle with PTSD. from self destruction, lashing out or shutting out family and friends. It is not an everyday thing iy comes in waves. my wife is a saint. She has helped me get the help I need and support and love i need.

This is beyond amazing! As a documentaian, I'd love to get involved in telling more of these personal stories. These are the stories we need.

We are making great progress. We must remain vigilant to those of us that still and always will “seal it” all in. Im retired now. During my last year, I advised to all newer people to get a mental health resources right away. Therapy got me through the last 3-5 years, and keeps the healing going post retirement.

I am a dispatcher, peer member, mhp graduate student, and this was SO well done. Thank you for this.

Yup, that's the good stuff right there...

Stay strong brothers. Reach out for help.

this is so well done & so needed. i may not be a first responder, but i am the sister of an emt turned firefighter for TFD, & i have spent most of my life wondering HOW first responders deal with what they experience on their day to day. as an individual with her own trauma, her own inner demons that i battle, i cannot ever fathom the toll this line of work takes on the mental, physical, or emotional well being of the individual. i’m a huge mental health advocate. i believe in the importance of breaking down the stigma that surrounds it, especially for those who put their lives on the line for those that can’t or don’t. this is a strong message for anyone that not being okay is OKAY. i hope this message spreads & creates a positive movement. & i hope that this idea that budget takes precedence over public & employee safety, specifically first responders, is closely examined & that better resources & staffing are provided as they are so desperately needed.

Thank you all for the video. I am currently going through what most of you talked about. My wife moved out recently along with my step kids. That was my wake up call that I needed help. I am currently in the process of counseling. I finally realized that this big bad firefighter that can cope with things himself does need help.

This speaks volumes! Made such an impact on me and helps so much in dealing with ghosts from the past. Served 1992 to 2006 fire, rescue and medic South Africa. Would have been an absolute honor to work with that bunch. Love to all there.

you are the best.had 38yearsduty and proud of it. Sasol Roodepoort and Klarksdorp SOUTH AFRIKA and proud of it!!!!!!!!🚨🙏🙂

This is absolutely amazing. Strong work brother.

Thank you so much for your work.

Im in the process of trying to become a full time firefighter. Us as a whole ive noticed are a family. No matter where we are or what we do. All of you have provided a lot of insight into the world of a firefighter and raised awareness. Im proud of you for talking about those things that are tough. This was a very good video, well done. ❤️

Wow! Just watched this at 4am. You hit every button there is to push. I was in a smaller Dept. South of Tacoma. After ten years, I had to get out. And I did. Unfortunately, nothing like this was available and now that I'm out, nothing is available.

Good job Cody!!

Thank you, so much, for making this.

There aren't enough words to thank these people for the work they do. Thank you for your service seems to be lacking, but I canr find the words, so THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE ❤️

Thank your for making this video.

Well done, love from NC!

Thank you for all you do! Y’all are my hero’s!!! Much love to you all!!!

Former ems in Wisconsin and I still have nightmares about calls Iv been on and I want to thank y’all for making this

Thanks for putting this together !

I retired after 33 years in the Fire Service. I've had too many experiences to comment here. In 1987 I was pulled aside by an old driver/engineer and he gave me his advice, "if you can't handle what you will see, you shouldn't be a firefighter". He was that guy that nobody liked, salty old vet with no filter. I was offended that he gave me that type of advice and laughed it off. Reflecting back, I wish I would've listened to him. The advice I would give to the new hire would be, tell yourself "it's not your problem" and stay away from alcohol as best you can.

nice work...thanks for having the courage to share your stories.

Great Job TFD! Thank you for your work and honesty on this documentary.

You already know bruh! Much love brother! 💝💪💪💪💪

We have been discussing the importance and impact of the content in this video in my classes in the Military and Emergency Responder Psychology and Mental Health program at Colorado State Univ. Global. Thank you for sharing this content and in particular the manner in which it was created. It needs to be raw. Because raw is real. Sometimes "people need dramatic examples to shake them out of apathy" - Bruce Wayne. I left the job in 2018 not understanding PTSD and have devoted an immense amount of time studying it since I left. We have a lot of work to do, but this is absolutely the catalyst for important change and understanding. Thank you!

POWERFUL!!!! Thank you

Thank you for this incredible film. It's so encouraging to see this stigma being broken.

Job well done by all. Beautiful, wish there was more.

Thank you for all your efforts and sacrifice. We appreciate you.

Thank you Tacoma FD for this. Bringing more light to this topic is a definite step in the right direction for other first responders who are or maybe suffering from this feeling and not having to shy away from this. I applaud you and the creator of this documentary. Stay safe!!

Thanks to all involved.

Thank you for this. I'm retired but have shared with my Brothers and Sisters in GA.

This was nice to watch and so important to have these conversations.

To all first responders out there, thank you for your service! I have ptsd from childhood trauma. It's not easy to share your struggles, but I am proud of you for doing so!

Thank you.

RIP Preston. Watching this really helped me understand what you and my brother carry…

This film is amazing. Well done.

Amazing work.

Thank you Tacoma FD and the participating FF's in this documentary. You did an amazing job with this. I will be showing this to my crews in the near future.

The NFPA 1500 is Firefighter Health and Wellness. It should be a requirement that all Fire Departments Volunteer of Career have an established EAP (Employee Assistance Program). If a department has the program it should also boost their ISO rating. I know the department I started on did not have this when I left (2004), in fact first hand I know I couldnt even talk to anyone, Officer or Firefighter without getting called a pussy, it being told to other personnel, or basically rub some dirt on it. This is a disservice to our Frontline Responders and needs to end. #stopthestigma , #mentalhealthawareness , #thinredlinefamily.

This is absolutely beautiful

great job on this video

wow just wow !!! "sometimes your scars are what make you beautiful" is just the best quote I have ever heard. We can feel your pain brothers/sisters, thank you for sharing this documentary. I, so far, have been lucky, I have not been affected by any of my calls. But the day they do affect me I will be rewatching this documentary and getting the supoprt i need. Wherever country we are from we all share that bond. Stay safe and take care of yourselves

This hits home very close. We'll put together. #mentalhealthishealth

What an amazing film!! Well done! I’m a firefighter in Ontario Canada and have been working through PTSD. It’s so powerful to hear the exact same words I’m this film that I use to describe the exact same situations that I struggle with. Thank you for making this film

I have mixed emotions about this Video it is a great tool for everyone to use as a Mental Health awareness training how ever it hits close to home with me. Mr. Porter you remind me of my Father I wish I could talk to you as your story brought me to tears not once but at least twice while watching this Video. I am not sure if these resources are avail to the Vol. Fire Service in my area in NY but I am glad your department and many others have been working with your Members and getting them the help that they need. WE ALL NEED THIS HELP!!!!!! Thank you again

Absolutely amazing movie 👏 the stigma needs to end

Great job on awareness in the fire community. This was a great video.

Fantastic. Good work! This is very important and pushed aside more than it should be. I have struggled, but found my center through Jiu jitsu. So I am lucky. But not always is that the answer. So thank you for spreading more awareness.

EVERYONE needs to see this.

Thank you all for putting this out there @tacomafire

I think every firefighter, emt, paramedic and police officer needs to see this. I have just finished watching it and have already shared in my FD chat group.