Growing up, I listened to condemning thoughts all day long, which included guilt, shame and regret. I often obsessed over these thoughts and feelings, especially because I was trained to believe that my standing with God was at stake. These thoughts led me on an unfruitful journey of religious works, self-pressure and constant fear that I was not “right with God.” It welcomed the voice of an Inner Pharisee that grew as the years went on.
I have to admit, it took me a long time to realize that God does not condemn His children. He does not use condemnation as a way to speak to His kids or try to develop them. But religion and the lies of the enemy have trained us to lean our ear to the condemning voice, leaving us with an Inner Pharisee that doesn’t want to leave.
When you grow up perceiving God in His holiness without a grid for loving relationship and connection, then you always wind up feeling afraid, intimidated to approach Him. You’re left feeling unworthy and never good enough.
On top of it all, the condemning religious Pharisee does not let you come near heart healing. It trains you to believe you don’t need it, keeps you in the buzz of performance living or it makes you feel so unworthy of ever receiving the depth of God’s healing love.
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