This video was the warmest hug I have ever received

I long for an authentic love, someone to share the rest of my life with, to understand, forgive, laugh, fix and enjoy our moments together. I want the kind of love that heals me and makes room for my growth, one that is kind and supportive. I take this as proof that I am not living in fantasy land somewhere. That my longing is valid❤

Feeling rejected and always wearing a mask to potray myself as attractive and loveable is beyond exhausting

"real love is not a transaction".... let that sink in.

Beware: If you come from a cold family, sex can feel like love

I’m 83! I just said goodbye to the greatest love of my life…a precious black & white angel with fur named Bindi. 🐈‍⬛ 18 years…I learned so much from him, not the least of which was unconditional love. His presence gave me such joy, and the grief of not having his physical presence is intense. 11 days without him…I’m still in shock. I never had authentic love with a human, although I was married and had children. I was in pain my entire life, living from fear, having no clue what was really going on. Years of therapy plus my own training as a psychologist never addressed CPTSD, so I bumbled along as best I could, feeling a misfit in this life. So now at 83, with children and grandchildren absent from my life, I don’t have thoughts of a great love. I am basically at peace, but there is the underlying fear of ‘what will become of me?’ And now, without the daily exchange of love and soul connection with my kitty, I go day by day…dreams don’t seem relevant for this lifetime. I appreciate all you offer. I wish I’d had this information decades ago.

I wish everyone gets the love they deserve ❤

This brought me to tears -- it's so hard to keep struggling -- at times things that I'm striving for, working so hard for, just seem to disappear when I get close, they're out of reach by just inches. It seems, at times, it's time to throw in the towel -- that I'll never find that special love. But I'm also stubborn, and somehow I pick up the torch again. Sometimes I feel like I'm playing a game, but I haven't been shown all the rules or haven't been given all the tools to make it right, and it's so frustrating.

I've been meaning to write for awhile; so much has happened since I started listening to your videos, Anna. In September of last year, I cut the cords with my disfunctional sisters, and about that time I started the daily practice. My husband did, too. Your videos were instrumental to our efforts at healing. One of your first videos said that if we wanted to heal completely, we had to clean up the things we aren't proud of - tax issues, addictions, legal problems, among other things. I was despondant because I had some of those things going on, but we kept writing all the same. I desparately wanted to heal. Right away I quit drinking (surprisingly easy), I called a tax specialist, and I got information on how to stop smoking pot once and for all (not easy). In another video, you mentioned a study involving writing on one specific traumatic event for thirty minutes. That put me on the search, and I found the study and more about it. The upshot is that I found WET, a five session 30 minute Written Exposure Therapy for PTSD patients. If it hadn't been for you, I would never have known to go looking for what is currently one of the first line treatments the VA is using to treat PTSD. Two weeks ago, I found a little place to go to quit using pot, and while I was there, I did the five writing sessions over five days for WET. It works. I will never stop the daily practice morning and evening because it is that that got me on the road to recovery. I remember your video on what happens if you think you're cured and stop writing. While it's true that my brain was wounded and that cannot be changed, the depths of the scars can be reduced by writing, bypassing the spoken word that can stimulate me to suffer again. My most fervent hope is that I will feel the love that I know is there for my husband, who is a great guy who loves me, but who also has CPTSD. I am beginning to feel tendrils of genuine emotions and real pleasure from his kiss. I cannot thank you enough for all that you bring to us poor little kids who got a bad deal in childhood. I'm seventy this month, and I hope this will be my best year yet, and more to come. Thanks so very much.

This desire is where Limerence comes from. When reality is bleak fantasy is safe. I hide in my fantasy because it’s comforting. Real world relationships are not as safe as people lie cheat use and abuse people. Not just romantic ones includes family and friends. It’s a really sad cycle not having healthy relationships and makes you want to give up on life

When love is absent, it allows the shadow to be in control. Dickens fable a Christmas carol speaks of this.

Twin flame hope is another way we escape. The promise of reunion keeps us from sitting in those darker, harder feelings.

I don’t want to be loved again bec love seems to have an agenda: I’d rather be respected & appreciated.

I have so much love to give, but no one wants it. It's hard not to be loved

The fact that it's real and that I'll never have the opportunity to get it is pretty painful to think about

When I hear you speak, it's like listening to the loving advice of a mum. Thank you. I feel Christ in you! Thank you! Thank you for keeping it real and loving and gentle :') You mean a lot to me.

I found my wife after my girlfriend passed away. Long 6 horrific months watching her die in the same hospital i worked in. I let myself open up and it was the best decision. She’s been having dreams of my girlfriend since we started dating. She tells my wife to lookout for me, that she’s so happy that I’m happy, and she’s surprised all of her things i kept 😅 i finally am smiling and living after 10 long years of depression anxiety loss abuse living in my head disassociation etc. keep going.

I am now 54, when I was a teenager I was so desperate for love, and as no boy was interested in me, I sent myself a love letter. To tell myself what no one else was telling me and to make my parents believe that a boy loved me. It was the beginning of a long period of great despair in my relationships. I suffered a lot from a pattern of limerance Fortunately, thanks to your videos, I've been able to understand what I was suffering from and I'm starting to move away from this pattern. You are a great help, thank you very much for that

You crave it because you’re made for it 🥹❤️

I am worthy of great conscious healthy passionate Love. So excited. Thank you. ❤🙌🏼♥️🙏

After so much struggles I now own a new house and my family is happy once again everything is finally falling into place!!

So true. Im 50 years old, divorced and swore off women 10 years ago.....but now that all i have is work and nothing else in terms of a private life...i feel that need

Maybe we should decentralise romantic relationships. They aren't the pinnacle of happiness. You can be happy alone, with a fulfilling purpose, good friendships / family, volunteering/helping people and adventures, hobbies etc. I don't long for love. If it happens, it will be a great bonus. But my happiness and fulfilment isn't waiting for it. I'm whole without it. And I'm not going to waste years of life dating unhealthy people rather than being happy alone.

Amazing timing, It’s 12:57 am here where I am currently living . I fell asleep about an hour ago contemplating how the great love I want, is just a fantasy. I just woke up and see this is first on my list of recommendations.

I have never experienced no strings love. I thought I would eventually find that special person but I've given up now. I don't think I would even recognise Love if it came up and smacked me in the face!

right now, i live alone and am thankful beyond words. i have peace, i have joy. i love me. i am happy. i love my life. i don't crave a spouse, so apparently i don't need one. i don't crave love, so apparently i don't need it. i love my friends, but i do feel disconnected from them to some extent--detached. and i think that's ok, too--at least for right now.

60 years. 2 failed marriages. Many other unhealthy, hurtful, or abusive romantic relationships. Co-dependency. Not even 1 healthy relationship, not 1! I am SO fortunate to have much love in my life with friends and family, but not sure I trust myself to seek romance again. Thank you, dear Fairy, for all you do.❤

Well, that explains why every time I hear that Steve Winwood song “Higher Love”, my heart hurts.

I did have a great love a long time ago, but he was taken away by an aggressive cancer. My heart was broken. I am not certain whether it is possible to be loved like that again. But that is what I want. I will work on my healing & collude with God my higher power to find another great love.

Definitely don't "make it work" with someone who is not compatible, but you WILL have to make it work, even with the "perfect" person.

I divorced 4 & 1/2 years ago and I am 52 now. I’ve been very selective and holding out for the real thing. I had a couple of brief relationships last year and quickly bailed out when I could see they weren’t “the one”. I am even more cautious and guarded now. I’m not looking but I’m waiting and hold a glimmer of hope she might come along. However, I’m working on being truly happy and healed while I’m single and accepting the possibility it may never happen.

The love of my life took his own within the last week. I'm shattered. He was adopted at birth, and his adopted father was a Vietnam vet with a harsh disciplinarian way of being. It was incredibly difficult for my sweet, loving ex to allow people to love him back.. and we struggled in our relationship regularly because of this dynamic. I never understood why he had this barrier up to love. It breaks me that he's now gone. He deserved a lot better from everyone around him, including big pharma and his repetitive therapist.

But mine was. Unrealistic expectations, fueled by images the media gives us of what it should be. Not taking responsibility for my own trauma reactions, and ignoring his side of pain. Prayer has been the key that has brought us closer and closer to eachother. To gain someone's true trust doesn't happen overnight, it's a process. And love is not a feeling, it's a choice.

I completely feel this. I had this recently with the best woman I've had in my life. But my fears of failure cause me to tell silly lies. I've broken her heart and trust. Now, in therapy, to learn to stop the lies. The guilt overwhelms me. I want her to benefit from it as she deserves it. I can't believe I can hurt someone so kind, caring, and unforgiving as she is. She deserves so much better.

Oh this is SO true … I’m completely alone in the world as my family members are like aliens to me … I’ve had to remove myself from my mother’s side of my family because she is so toxic for me … & I attempted to develop a relationship with my father and his side of the family … but they didn’t want to know either. So it’s just me & my dogs. I don’t miss any of them. But I do miss my husband, who left me … I miss the relationship we had for so many years … & I wouldn’t have him back for anything but I miss the love we had for over 20 years because I know how wonderful that feels every day & I want that in my life! Someone who loves me no matter what! Who I’m so happy to see every morning. I know love at first sight actually exists. But we all grow older & things change or we realise things have become different, we must take care of ourselves & not accept the ‘crapfit’ 😊 Maybe I should start wishing it & see who might be out there for me? Thankyou 💖💖💖

I am in love for the first time since really working on my cptsd. Was just telling him, who is also in love, that I am so scared.... I have nightmares and feel a wall around me everytime we get closer. I think it is really not him. He is a good man, I think. That this could be real love. So I am trying to accept the fear and to stay calm, doing my daily practices. The timing of this video is perfect, thank you. Now I know that it is OK to feel this fear.

At 38, diagnosed with CPTSD, at least now I understand its not some curse that keeps me unhappy. Recently learning to regulate emotions, it feels like being in control for once.

Your insights are so valuable. I've pushed away real love in the past because I didn't feel inside I was worthy of love, being so unhealed. Your videos have opened up my mind to a new way of thinking ♥️

Thank you for this, I have felt this way, I needed this. I am 34 and never had a relationship partially because I am shy, insecure and maybe scared of love, it is important to create neww patterns but not easy

After 2 toxic relationships of 30 years, on top of childhood trauma I am broken. A new partner has shown up and I doubt his intentions but he's giving out nothing but green flags as I continue to trust him little by little. He is 17 years older than me and I've taken the approach that if I only have him the length of a dog's life, knowing what it really means to be loved, then I'll take it for my daughter and I. Hopefully we get more but the thought both terrifies and gives hope

The person I'm in a fantasy relationship with in my head broke it off with me two weeks ago because I was asking weird around them. I wanted to contact them so badly just now, but I saw your video and watched it instead. I realized I'm feeling emptiness right now and that's why I wanted to reach out to this person. Unfortunately, I couldn't follow the rest of the video about one-ness and love. I associate that with my fantasy person and I am not sure if I know what love really is. Thank you for your video, all of your videos, and I'm going to check out the daily practice one now. Thank you.

"That its real and its pointing the way towards home." Wooooooooow 😢❤ Please if you might possibly look at getting a ko-fi account so once available funds are there we can send gratitude donations for all your courage and determination to be where your calling was bringing you. I know this is real and I am so grateful for this beautiful world of infinite love, hiding in the ocean of fear and pain.

Your message today is one I wish I heard from my parents and family system members. Alas - they do not know healthy relating, and I understand now, why they wouldn't want me to have better if they don't know what's better than dysfunction. Thank you so much for your work. I will be listening to this video on repeat every day for a while :)

When other (healthy) people in your life show you or remind you of the undeniable, radical evolution that you have gone through, that’s when you know that you are truly ready, and that it is coming-the love you want and deserve-and in the way that you least expect. My struggle is to let go of the fantasy/idea of the “perfect partner” and just live with openness, gratitude and abundance. Seeing myself “through the eyes of The Divine.” 🙏🏾 Beautiful message, thank you.

When in a marriage with a partner as traumatized as myself growing up we both desperately needed each others touch and then could not stand touch in cycles. It was so detrimental to the relationship.

Thank you for all you do. I hit this one quick bc it’s me. I struggle with this even though I’m in a relationship. I’m working on myself bc of all your information and the way in which you share it. I didn’t even realize that I was doing this. Thank you seems so little for the help and hard work you provide to help so many. 💜🙏

Haven't listened yet, but just had this conversation last night with a friend.

I recently started therapy and its been extremely difficult to go through especially with no one by my side, But I KNOW I have to go through this in order to get what I want from this life. This video some how feels like it was mean for me :D

Thank you for giving that horrific empty feeling a purpose and a mission. I do believe in that kind of love and that one day I’ll give and receive it safely to myself and a partner.

Anna, this is deeply touching. To hear you talk so positively of real love is so empowering for those of us who have felt so unworthy of love. After listening to your podcast I decided to drop unhealthy relationships and to wait for what I truly wanted and needed - to stop settling. And within weeks I met the most wonderful partner who loves me for me, not a manufactured version of myself, who sees my past trauma not as something to run from but as a reason to give even more love and understanding, who points out when I'm playing the old mind tapes but who doesn't judge me for it. He is teaching me how to love and be loved. So for anyone out there thinking it might never happen - it can, it does and it will! As you learn to accept and love yourself you naturally will attract the one for you. Life wants that for you because its what we're here to do. So don't stop believing!

Wow, i've been on a conscious single journey these last few months so I can reset my self esteem and every now and then will get this feeling. I just felt it right now before opening this video and you made me feel so much better about it

Thank you so much.. I am moved to tears. I've been having a tough time over the past few months, with separation from my wife and child and problems in my job. I had almost become cynical about love and was blocking out those parts of me.. Your words showed me the path to courage. I am filled with gratitude.

Happy birthday, Anna Runkle!!~ Thanks for be-ing.

I believe I’m commanded to love others regardless of what hope I have to ever be loved back. In my current state I don’t think anyone can love me in a way that will satisfy me, but it’s freeing to know that I can become Love for myself and others regardless.

As cheesy as it sounds, the greatest lesson I’ve learned coming back to true great love in its whole state is to be the love that you seek, learn about things like loving partnerships, and being a great partner, investigating what love means for you to the point where it really sinks in, detail by detail, which to me has been a huge part of my recovery, and which takes courage when it seems like the entire entire world is screaming the opposite at you. This is all still a work in progress obviously but it really helped break open the suffocating fortress that I’d built around myself.

Im so scared when people get close. And they don’t blow a fuse or threaten me and I think they are hiding their true motive

I find the walls have blinded me. So it remains unseen, and unwanted.

30+ years ago when i asked the question "What is LOVE⁉️" after Never being loved by parents, friends, lovers or Anyone, I felt God say to my heart "I Am Love‼️ You are looking for Me" God was enough for me for years. Two broken engagements and trauma on top of trauma... I Do still hope for a Godly man who is emotionally, mentally and spiritualy healthy, musical and Loves Jesus 🫶🏻☝🏻🌊🕊️

I think there is no emptiness but happiness knowing in the end I will inherit the kingdom with my Heavenly Father. There is no other man! You just know it!

Even hearing you discuss this brought up hostility and cynicism towards your words. It all feels so alien.

Loveless feeling. That resonates 💔 😢

This is a great video. Thank you. The child in me lost a lot, and decades later the adult also lost loads. Now I'm trying to find better... God bless you all.

"The greatest love that you may possibly know may still lie ahead of you, especially if you keep healing." Thank you for this! The entire video was a balm to my heart

never a word said so true , trying to find true love in a world of favourites & money matters more then people , if you find true love never let it goooo ❤

Watching from Kenya. I'm a counsellor. I really love your content. Really on point. I watched your video on your visit to Kenya. Hope you visit again, this time for safari and let us know. It would be such an honour to meet you

I was abandoned by my family when i was 16 - I have been alone for 45 years - when will I be free - when I cease to be

"The longing and emptiness that you feel is real and its pointing towards home❤❤❤"....love it. No need to pretend to be strong, i don't need it, i am batter without it...but eccepting it completely, sit with it, let it be there in your heart, let it teach you lessons that you need to learn. Thankyou so much Anna 💓🎉 💖 🎉🎉

Yess, this video made me so emotional. I always felt this deep yearning to find love , something that doesn’t depend on superficial things. And whenever id mention my dreams to ppl they would laugh at me that im delusional. Anyway Now im my mid thirties and i have met my true lover, and i just want everyone to feel it. Its beyond words, i honestly wouldn’t ever imagine getting it as teen. If only I watched videos like this back then. And so true how u can’t control it or do anything. And yes allow urself to dream! You deserve it. be urself and honest and it enters ur life without ur permission sorta. It’s like someone just captures ur heart and recognizes you . Thank you for doing this.

I now know ive never been truly open to being loved. When my mother cut me off from her love i never could let go of the pain, until recently. Now the challenge is will i ever meet this person. Ill give it a go or ill never know 🤦

I don’t believe that there’s only one right person out there for each of us. I’ve been married a long time, and there was a time I thought he was the only person I could ever fall in love with. That feeling wears off with familiarity over time and the drudgery of daily responsibilities. Sometimes temptation can distract us from the work of marriage. We absolutely still love each other and are hot for each other. We just aren’t obsessed every second anymore. I think the notion of “the one” can be a fantasy that lures us into affairs when real life gets hard. We can fall in love with people even when we still love our spouses. It doesn’t mean the new person must be “the one.” We can be compatible with many people.

This video came right on time - like seriously! I've been overthinking about someone I met recently, and someone I know and another person etc etc etc. Struggle with overthinking a lot, and fearing love/relationships etc - been like this since I was young, probably caused by my parents divorce and the lack of my biological dad in my life... Love your videos, they help me set myself on the right track/way of thinking!

Feeling the oneness is so powerful, thank you

If you’re going to struggle with love, struggle for what you really want.

I can't stop holding my tears while watching this one. crappy fit is the most precise thing to describe my child hood and till now but I'm definitely getting in better place now than I was 20 years ago, 10 years ago, 5 years ago and a year ago. I looked back then, I put the other's needs before my own and focused on how I can serve to please them. I'm working on stop nurturing people before me, it's slow process for sure. thanks for your beautiful insights and your mentorship. every day is miracle because of you.

Love does not come from external factors, its a state of being. We are all love ✨✨

Anyone else struggling with CPTSD and also being someone who isn't pursued or considered desirable? That combination is so depressing.

I cried so much listening to this!! It was so healing!! Thank you x

I do long for this. It wasn’t my fault the abuse and trauma started in childhood. I’ve felt this emptiness for almost my whole life though

Thank you for this message.

I long for integrity and authenticity

Such words of encouragement ☺️thank you

About 2years ago I found the most wonderful relationship with a man I could have imagined. But he chose to be just friends because we are long distance and he didn't want to change his life to be with me... It broke me because I don't think I will find a relationship like this again. I am tired of so much disappointment and I won't put up with unhealthy behavior from men anymore. So I am just staying alone now.

Thank you ❤ I needed to hear this today.

8:35 Thank you for this energy!!! ❤

Love it , thank you !❤

I love the long form videos and i also love the shorter videos. Thank you

I really needed to hear this today. Thank you ❤

That was so beautiful and necessary. Thank you ❤❤❤

Thank you for this video… I’m in the process of doing cbt therapy and these vids really help!

Right on time. Thank you for your work :)

i just find out about this channel, its amazing every word is true , keep on and thank you!!

Well...this video had the most imppecable timing! I'm kinda in this stage now. 32 years old, 6 ketamine treatments in (worked amazingly for me) and now reevaluating everything. Changing everything. Feels weird but I feel a lot of the excitement I used to feel as a kid.

Thank you so much, God bless you 🌻

Timely, in the best way. Thank you. ✌🏻❤️✨🌻

Thank you for providing these videos. Big help.

I just recently had a break up and this dreaded emptiness peaked for about two days and then left. Normally I would shove it down, feel like a victim, and distract myself with work. I would inflate my ego to counter this. Not anymore. I know this feeling well pass. I love every bit of matter that makes up who I am. I am fulfilled, connected, and authentic. This has been a long time coming. I am blessed to have had this experience. Hang in there everyone! You aren’t broken. You’re human. Self love will come freely and unconditionally with focus and grace. God bless.

Thank you so much for this video. It was a gift. I received it. ❤❤❤

I was lucky. Our parents loved us kids - both deeply and fondly. From whence I came I shall return.

This was SO good, thank you! 🙏🏼

Thank you so much for this comforting message. It means a lot to me. Love to you too.