Wanted to scroll down to see all of the comments but idgaf what y’all say

"The Greatest prison people live in, is the fear of what other people think"

People don’t understand that being a “people pleaser” means you feel miserable even if you say no politely.

The hardest pill I swallowed was realizing I meant nothing to the people that meant a lot to me.

“No” is a complete sentence. Remember that.

“I wish I could help, but I don’t want to.” Phoebe Buffay

When you stop really caring what others think , you really develop Godspeed and a profound inner peace. Still working on this daily.

She's actually right ,where wasting our time and energy on things that mean nothing to us ,Making everyone happy isn't your obligation

*"You can even say, 'I don't want to.' The world will not end."* -Sarah Knight, 2017

My favorite response is “no, but thanks for thinking of me”.

Most people cant take "no" as an answer which makes my blood BOIL.

Been doing this for a few years now and have to admit I don't regret it and I surely dgaf!

"The less you care the more happier you become, " Great speech 😍

Man. Can you imagine inviting this lady somewhere and she says YES?! I’d be so flattered. Wow.

me: I dont give a f*ck about my homework, I don't want to do it. also me: Darling- thats not how it works

Fifty years ago I told my boss I did not want to attend a function - he asked me if I'd accepted the invitation - I told him yes I had - he responded that I should never back out of something I'd accepted, to do so was bad manners and unprofessional. I attended the function, I never forgot the lesson but from then on I became more selective about what invitations I accepted.

The older you get, the more you follow this

I don't care what people think about me I care what I think about myself

Engaging with books has significantly elevated my perspective on investing. True wealth isn't built through mere savings; financial freedom stems from strategic investments. I've learned that accumulating wealth hinges on making prudent investment decisions.

The best thing about this is, other people will value YOUR time because YOU value your time! If I was friends with Sarah and I invited her out and she says yes, I would feel honoured because I know how much she values her time.

Thank you. And this is why I quit social media.

My best friend said to me, "be kind, honest, and make choices with integrity. You won't have regrets." It's now written on the whiteboard in my kitchen for me to look at everyday.

I broke up a friendship when I asked myself how I felt leading up to visits, during and after. I dreaded seeing her, counted the minutes until it was over, and was completely drained after. The only reason we still hung out was because we were friends in high school. But as adults we were incompatible. If I'd met her after the age of 20 I wouldn't have wanted to be around her at all.

I am 22. I am already thinking about these things. I'm proud of myself!

I think some of people miss her point. she doesn't suggest us to be selfish and self-centered, but instead to make prioritize in our lives. we have limited time in this world, invest time - energy - resources to things that matter most. things that matter most for everyone is different. for me, i'm enjoying traveling, playing with my little son, doing some social activities, and reading.. I won't do things that wasting my time anymore like meeting people that I dont like just because I am socially obliged. I feel happier now, and living my life to the fullest!

One of the best things i did in my late twenties was to stop hanging out with co-workers outside of work. No drink induced conversations about wages and asperations with co-workers. I ended up making more money and have less stress.

Wow. I’ve not given a f-- most of my life. Never been depressed, don’t have anxiety. Happy no matter what is happening. Love it.

Not giving a f***, it's the best feeling ever

This does not work on school I tried you just get detention

Man! I wish I heard this years ago…especially when I was dealing with church folk 😒. Would’ve saved myself a lot of stress and pain!!!

i always considered myself a people pleaser, and thought it meant that i was always trying to do right by others, but then i realized it was actually for a more selfish reason: i wanted to be liked, i needed to be liked, and i cared too much about what others thought. my self esteem depended on it! this led me to understanding that you are then setting yourself up to always be unhappy.. how so? because no matter what you do, how many people you meet, how nice you are to everyone, there are ALWAYS going to be people that dont like you.. maybe even for no reason. so i understood that being a people pleaser was only holding me back because i always focused on what i thought others wanted me to do instead of what i actually wanted to do, or in the speakers words "what i actually gave a f*** about". once i stopped giving a f*** about what others thought of me, i understood that not always people-pleasing was quite liberating. it frees up so much more mental space! i also feel like this day in age, especially with social media and all the feedback, thoughts, opinions that we see 24/7, it is wayyyyy too easy to give a f*** about the wrong things. turning my ego off and not taking things personally while browsing the internet was and still is a hard thing to train myself to do, and i always end up asking myself, do i really care about what this person is saying or thinking? frankly, its none of my business what others say or think of me. i just dont give a f*** anymore. it also immediately takes away the power behind their words and thoughts. you are the only person choosing to allow those words to affect you.

I'm tired of buying Christmas presents. I'm not even religious. I hate the traffic, the crowds, the cost and the time wasted. I receive stuff I don't want, people get stuff they don't want or need, all this stuff x 2 billion people's stuff that quickly ends up in landfill or just takes up valuable space in their house, kitchen or garage. Time for me to say No.

I needed to hear this 30 years ago! The older I get, the more I don't give a f*ck, but I still find myself doing things out of guilt because I don't want to hurt someone's feelings. This has changed my mind.

Thanks so much for this video! People use me as their therapist all the time, but no one is there for me when I need someone. It’s so draining. I’m trying to stop this now. I’ve already ignored several calls from the same person and he called me 10 times in a row!!!

Being a people pleaser isn't easy. It's really hard to say NO because you don't want others to be disappointed with you, but I know I'll be able to get through all of this ONE.STEP.AT.A.TIME. Thanks for the great speech.

People-pleasers really need to watch this! I used to be one and it was a constant cycle of guilt, resentment, and being miserable. It was hard saying no, but once my anxiety realized that nothing awful would happen if I skipped an event or didn't do something I didn't want to, it became easier!

It seems like yall are not getting it, I think what she really means is like if ur not in the mood of helping people out or you don't want to go to party, you can say NO without feeling sorry. She did not mention that we should stop caring and helping others. The message seems pretty clear to me.

this ted talk is legitimately life altering in an incredibly freeing way. so much that it has earned a permanent place for semi-regular rewatches in my own personal broke student's f*ck budget (which involves next to no $$ for anything & therefore as such i am really grateful that this is free on YT!) Thank you so much! 🌸

From the very start she followed her concepts she straight didn’t care about anyone’s opinion she straight started just talking how she talks normally without reading the crowd

"haha she said the F word lmao" - TedX audience

Lol a lot of people are married right now because they feel guilty saying NO.

Well I'll be damned... A friend wanted to hang out but Ive been obsessed with watching these TedX talks and have been binging thru em for the past couple of days and taking so many notes. I realised that I would have more joy sitting at home feeding my brain online by these videos then leaving my home and forcing myself to social with someone when Im feeling shattered as it is. I politely declined and then I saw this video hahahaha

Lol 😆 sad but true... these are the times we're living in. Gas lighting, narcissistic personality disorder, family dysfunction and generally toxic people. We need help to navigate this traumatic society. No fux given!! Thank you so much for this video

I just gave a f*ck to this video and it was totally worth it!

This is fantastic. Every pleaser in the world needs to hear this.

"No thanks, I don't want to." "But why" "I just don't want to" "That's not a reason" YES. YES IT IS A REASON

I love this woman ! Hoping to find more of Sarah online ... This video is almost 6 yrs old and extremely unique ... Allowing house mate's to drain me so emotionally has been exhausting for years ... I'm at my mental limit ... Sarah, thank you so much for this upload, YOU'RE A BADASS 🤗

Bonus - after 2 years of hearing "No thanks, can't make it" etc, people finally stop asking you in the first place lol

"This is how you stop spending time you don't have.. with people you don't like.. Doing things you don't want to do." [Sarah Knight]

I’m never going to forget this Ted talk

This is how I live my life. Perfectly said!

Even Jesus said this. "let your Yes be Yes, and your No be No" flat out

Learning to say No is liberating.

When you're so fed up with caring about every little thing that you literally look up how not to give a f:

Some of the best people in my life have recently become the worst people in my life and I am truly wanting to embrace the art of not caring what people think but without losing my heart of caring for humanity

Her voice is like a Disney Princess 😍💜

Way ahead of this... I stopped giving a f**k about 5 years ago. It is GLORIOUS

I come back to this ... every so often... to remind myself.

Reminds me of reading the subtle art of not giving a f*ck. One of my most favorite tedx talk

I've read her book and it's easily 4x as funny (and this was pretty funny)...but also the advice was amazing. She recommends having a "personal policy" for things you don't want to do. Like baby showers. "Oh no thank you. I have a personal policy that I don't go to baby showers." Who can argue with that? I've been using this method and it totally works! Love this talk and the slides are awesome!

Dynamics of my family: 1) I politely decline an invitation. 2) 4-5 individuals launch into a vehement campaign to change my mind. 3) I stand my ground, repeat my decision. 4) Now I'm "difficult" and "oppositional" (even though I am polite and honest) 5) Repeat 6) Repeat 🙄

as a people pleaser and a public server i needed that video i literally tried to kms when i was 16 because a full grown costumer didn't got her 5 party sticker pages she got 4 instead she could simply wait for me to print another page instead of screaming at me

liberated people know exactly what she is talking about. I can relate completely. What a weight off my shoulders when I started to say simply "no I don't want to" and moved on.

I love Sarah's methods. I've been incorporating them into my life and I'm truly starting to enjoy my life again without all of the bullshit. "Life changing" without a doubt!

After you say "No", do not feel any need to explain why you said no! "Sorry but I will not be attending" "Oh, why? What are you doing?" "Again, I will not be attending"

This is good. I have lived exactly like this for the last 10 years since I left high school. And the more i don't give a f... The better things are going. But I am very respectful to others. The few people I know who don't give a f... are not only my happiest friends but also very good with money. My unhappy friends* all share being very sensitive people who invest a lot of time into others comments and actions. There is one thing more important than money... And that's time. Stop hanging out with low lives and invest your time wisely

All I have to say is, thank you Sarah. You have no idea how much you've just opened my eyes.

I stopped going to Baby Showers 5 years ago. Its been amazing!! Only thing Id add is, don’t be upset when people stop inviting you to events or outings. Because they already know youd rather stay home and watch TV. :)

Wow man Love this Sincerely Chronic People Pleaser

One of my favorite Ted talks to date. I continuously share this one with people. Very powerful. 🔥🔥🔥

Learning to say "No" is the ultimate freeing action you can give yourself. Once I learned this how to say no, I am much happier!

She doesnt know how much this video changed my mental life

As a person with social anxiety, I would just stay at home 24/7 if I lived like this.

I love the idea of using politeness so you have no guilt. Good watch, thank you!

I've been listening to this almost daily to get over some coworker animosity and just truly learning to not care about it

My usual response is, " Nah, I'm good." That's the Most honest + polite it can get

*claps in fuckless bliss*

Excellent talk. My uncle received a similar talk from his doctor years ago, and my uncle passed the advise to me; it has served me well ever since.

Thank you so much for this presentation. It makes so much sense. I will always remember this going forward in my journey

*self-confidence booster af*

This was exactly what I needed! I've been saying "I don't care" instead of IDGAF and it's been coming off as an asshole void of love and care! But the truth is I do care sometimes waaaay to much to the point I've been more outwardly upset in the past few months than I've ever been and now I can apply a way where I don't get so upset and still show love and respect for myself and others. Thank you Sarah

This has been a “go to” Ted talk for me and I’ve shared it many times with so many people✊🏽💗

Exactly with my standing ovation.

What she just talked about is something that is obvious but is something that is not done by the majority of us. Kudos to the way she made it as abeautiful reminder 👏

its about BOUNDARIES which is extremely important, its imperative for everyone since people are always willing to violate ur boundaries if u let them. u can still care about someone even if u say no. no is not a bad word

When you're a dormat, something magical happens ✨️

The amount of times I said "A genius. She's so smart." Never knew who this woman was before today, but now I may be obessed with her! Thankyou

when you suffer from depression sometimes it is not that bad to say yes to things you think you will not enjoy, because at the end of the day you often do enjoy them :)

people who are or are becoming burned out really need this kinda stuff :)

I loved this TED talk as it touches on a subject we all experience and which also affects our choices on a daily basis. When I read the comments under this video I can see the effect this speech has made on many people. The sentence "The less you care the happier you become" seems to have touched many people, including myself. The speech confronts us with feelings we all have, but never dare to face. With this in mind, I have a question for Sarah Knight: Why do we actually care about other people's opinions, has it anything to do with nature or nurture? Is there a link with our origins and how we are group animals, that it used to be important to belong to a group and so others had to like and accept you? Or is it more something that is based on our education where we are taught by school that feedback and approval from others is very important to build ourselves up?

I so love her. I used to gave my time, thoughts and energy for employers for many years that never gave a dime about me. Yes I finally come to realizations it's okay to say no. It's was hard at first felt like I deserted my company. I was miserable for awhile. Now i stick to my not give a F list no mater what. And I learned to say NO to alot of things that I was afraid to say before. And it sure feels good.

You could boil the whole talk down to "choose, or others will choose for you".

Learned this from Helen Mirren, who, on turning 70, said one of her regrets was not telling more people to FO. It resonated with me as I'm a doormat for friends and family. Feels good to know who one's real friends are when u start saying 'No' . :)

I once said "no thanks, I don't like that kind of genre" to series someone offered me. Few years later turns out, it became my favorite series ever bcs it made me feel alive everytime I watched it. I regretted the time when I said no to it. I never had trouble for saying no. But when I look back of how much I said no to everything that doesn't spark my interest, I realized it felt like I was living in a box. I feel like, by saying yes to a lot of things now comes with opportunity to find a new interest to expand my way of thinking. Now I'm feeling more optimistic than ever. I believe, you just gotta know *when* to say yes/no. Don't say no to something you don't like, simply say no to something that potentially damaging you mentally, physically and emotionally

I absolutely adore this ❤❤❤❤ this was so helpful for my clients in my mental health group and for myself as a therapist!

"I call it the not sorry method" Me, a Canadian: oh shoot I can't do that

It took stage 3 cancer to move me into the "Not Sorry Method". I still occasionally falter, but not nearly as bad as I was in my younger years. People need to follow Sarah's advice before they are doing it on borrowed time. But really, learning it at any point in your life is great!

I've done it, it really does work, and I'm happier when I do.

If i followed her advice in the past, i would have missed unwanted events wich turned out to be great moments with new people i met! And the number of events you expected to be great and joyful but turned out to be boring or bad memories... Life is full of surprises... And what about thinking of the pleasure you could bring to someone in need? Your Grandma, an old lonely Aunt in need of a simple small talk...

Am I the only person that just-wants to go straight to the point when it comes to TED talks?