If you feel like activating your funny receptors some more, then check out Phil's other fantastic material at the following links: KZfaq - kzfaq.info Twitter - twitter.com/PhilJamesson If ya nasty!

This is genuinely a better piece of philosophy than the actual philosophy paper he wrote.

The sequel that nobody deserved, but everybody needed

He wasn’t wrong, it was a very painful story.

"Some believe that pain inspires art. [...] Creation is an inviolate act, and those searching for the divine need not descend to Hell for fuel." Quite a beautiful quote actually.

He’s such a master writer that he switched from mammals and reptiles to pain receptors and dissections to the utter horror of Denny’s.

I love it when my students turn in BS assignments. Some of my recent favorites include a rather elaborate, carefully crafted website called "The dirty dishes in my sink and how I will deal with them", and another one dedicated to why spinach soup is the source of all evil. They did their web design neatly so no complaints here.

He's saying "If ya nasty" because someone told him he couldn't just say "perchance"

My favorite part is the teacher correcting "Jar Jar Bink" to "Jar Jar Binks". Professionalism.

Did I know that we would get a Phil Jamesson sequel? Perchance.

The gentle and disappointed delivery of “I know” is what gets me.

"When you get hurt, you are less likely to continue or repeat the behavior that hurt you." _(good)_ "That's why I don't go to Denny's anymore." _:(_

Phil Jamesson is truly one of the writers of all time. Perchance. If you are nasty

I never thought Phil Jamesson would return. Not since he left his place of comfort to stomp a turty, and ESPECIALLY not since The Accident. However, his return is a Christmas miracle, almost as mythical as the nonexistent Dr. Pepper. Perchance.

As a college student, I cry for the writer's loss of all marks. As a tired professor, I would consider this submission top tier entertainment.

I wonder what happened Phil Jameson at Denny's. It clearly impacted him deeply, as he no longer uses "Perchance".

I love these nonsensical essays. Shows me I could be doing a lot worse as far as academic writing.

i wonder how bad his Denny's experience must have been to warrant such disdain for them

That's why I don't go to Denny's anymore, not since...the accident

As an Ultrakill player, descending to Hell for fuel searching for the divine is literally what I need to do

i love how you covered the F in a way that'd make us think it's an A, which is what he SHOULD have gotten by the way

The sequel we didn't know we needed. Perchance. If ya nasty!

I find it funny the actual points this guy gave of "everything can be linked to pain in some form" and "pain can inspire art" were both labeled as off topic, but they didn't have any problems with him using scientist as an example for a mammal.

The funniest thing for me about the student, including Jar Jar as a mammal and a reptile, is that he's an alien. So, even if he was real, it'd still be wrong to mark him down as either.

The hard hitting line of “there is naught in this world but pain” followed up by talking about pain receptors is truly a transition

Phil Jameson hitting us with yet another banger

"Those searching for the divine need not descend to Hell for fuel." The greatest philosopher of our time.

"If ya nasty" is the new "perchance"

Finally another Phil Jameson sequel

“One’s got cold blood, and one’s got warm? But who is the little egg, and who is the little worm?” Incredible poem.

This simultaneously includes science, art, philosophy, history, and theology (?). Truly brilliant, perchance.

I like how the red pen person is MORE of a Star Wars geek than the author, correctly writing “Binks” while the author wrote “Bink” twice

The Denny's comments alone makes this deserving of an A.

If you are nasty, perchance.

if there is anything i learn from this guy writings, is that I won't be going to Denny's anytime soon ...and that Jar Jar Bink's is both reptile & mammal

Return of the king, Phil Jameson you are legend. Perchance.

If ya nasty, perchance.

We are blessed with another work of art from the Mario The Man guy

"Creation is an inviolate act, and those searching for the divine need not descend to Hell for fuel" is a crazy follow-up to statements such as "If you are nasty" and "Get 'em outta here"

suddenly feel a lot more confident in my writing abilities.. ty phil

I firmly believe the :( is not a sign of exasperation, but just the teacher remembering what happened at Denny's and a sign of sadness when Phil brought it up again.

Some of my favorite parts of this: 1. The teacher spells Jar Jar’s name correctly in the comment, thus soft correcting that soft inaccuracy 2. The ‘If you are nasty’ (the second one) is so structurally beautiful bc it reads as if Phil had a premonition of the feedback for the first ‘if ya nasty!’ and passive aggressively adjusted for it by just correcting the grammar (ditto for the repetition of the Denny’s deet, except that one mainly just comes thru the repetition itself and Jeaney’s inflection change), and the way the teacher commented on the thing below it with ‘off-topic’ makes it look like that comment was made on ‘if you are nasty’ as a passive aggressive comeback to the correction from the ‘Don’t call the reader nasty’ comment 3. It’s called a story, but there’s not rly much of a narrative (unless you wanna be generous with that word) 4. I love the adorably humble ‘Hm?’ that Jeaney gives to the question mark at the beginning cuz it’s such a teacher ‘Are we sure about this?’ sound and idk how he got that so perfectly with one non-speaking syllable 5. It took longer than I care to admit for the ‘painful story’ pun(?) to sink in 6. The fact that the job title ‘scientist’ rather than homosapien or even human being is the ‘famous mammal’ listed with ‘dog’ is so stupid but in such a calculated way and it’s just perfect 7. The teacher needs no reassurance that Phil wrote the opening poem, but is genuinely at odds over whether the ‘descend to Hell for fuel’ part is an incisive but laboriously heavy-handed quote from some piece of High Middle Ages or Renaissance literature that Phil integrated into his essay in a plagiaristic way, or some random gobbledygook Phil pulled out of his ass just like the rest of the essay which also came off as being way more high-minded than it should’ve been (also much like certain parts of the rest of the essay)

You'd think Phil would get it together, having taken 200 biology classes prior to this one

Phil Jamesson is the best at writing essays, change my mind.

My favorite part is him calling him “Jar Jar Bink,” singular, both times, and the teacher knowing the correct spelling in correction.

I love that the teacher was so done with them by the midway point, they couldn't be bothered to provide helpful criticism and simply opted for the age old "☹️" to express their utter disappointment! 😂 _(also, it's videos like these that make me so happy I found Jeaney's channel 😊)_

How to end a sentence: Thats why i never go to dennys anymore. ***Not since the incident***

He even wrote a poem and everything, come on, he’s the mastermind of our generation

God I need "That's why I don't go to Denny's anymore"

I freaking love these. I don't know why, but seeing someone's graded report paper with annotations, like this, is just so darn fun to me!

"Phil Jamesson" OUR KING HAS RETURNED!

Thank you Phil Jamesson for blessing us once again

More Phil content! Loved his channel from years ago, too bad he hasn't posted anything in months (the "15 years later with no CGI" makes for a fantastic last video)

I'm a third semester biology student and this was flawless

Your video will make a fine addition to my "KZfaq algorithm strikes again" collection

Phil Jameson back at it again! Keep it up, baby! Perchance.

Oh, Phil Jamesen...Hope he has a lot of this because this shit is great😂

OH i remember seeing this thing before and some dude said they wanted Jeaney to read it, i think he will be very exited to see this!

Finally another work by a true literary marvel. Perchance.

Truly beautiful story, this is movie type material in every fashion. Love it Mr. Phil.

Mario the idea vs Mario the man.....

He finally made a sequel!!!! Perchance.

This would be a fine addition to the essay collection, alongside "Mario, the idea vs. the man", perchance, if ya nasty

I love how how you made it sound as if the writer was reciting it and the teacher was reacting to it as he was saying that.

Th return of Phil Jameson. What a day to be alive

The sequel to “you can’t just say ‘perchance’” we didn’t know we needed

he turned something in. beats half his peers already.

the text was so legendary 8 people had to bring this to your attention me included, if ya nasty

the best part is the disregard of second and first person usage

I love that the censoring of the grade leaves the possibility for an A open

I have a suspicion that the hell for fuel part is an ultra kill reference

"and those searching for the divine need not descend to hell for fuel" ULTRAKILL REFERENCE?

“Perchance.” Comes with a sequel. “If ya nasty.”

I love the little 🙁 at one point in the feedback

The teacher has no imagination. Obviously the little worm was the friends we made along the way.

Phil Jamesson is a goddamn genius of writing

Going to hell in search of fuel? Sounds like ULTRAKILL!

Was waiting for you to do this one 😂

If he submitted that in literature class instead he would have got an A+.

This gives me severe "Mario the man" energy 😂

It's been 3 monts and suddenly, the phrase "if ya nasty" floods back into my brain. Love it.

I would’ve burst out of laughter if this ended with ‘perchance’

The legendary Phil Jamesson is back

I think its even better how he is the same person who wrote Mario the idea vs mario the man

There's really some profound and hilarious stuff in there.

"For those searching for the divine have no need to decended to hell for fuel" V1: Nuh uh

"If you are nasty" gonna start including that on random phrases

Why does this remind me of that "100 years ago" poem Rodrick wrote in Diary of a Wimpy Kid?

And thats why i dont go to dennys anymore feels like an abridged series recurring gag

I love the teacher's hopeful "Good" being immediately crushed by "Thats why I dont go to Denny's anymore."

"Jar Jar Binks is not real" yeah he was talking about Jar Jar Bink. Massive difference.

The use of repetition in this poem is profound! I can see the direct impact that the second “if ya nasty” had on the narrative!

And when the world needed him the most, Phil Jameson returned once again

0:43 bro went British - Irish - British in matter of seconds

The sequel I wasn't expecting but I now absolutely need Perchance

If ya nasty will now be in my daily lexicon

bro wrote a standup monologue and turned it in as an essay

Never thought i’d run into Phil Jameson’s essays again. Perchance.

I love how this essay is not even 2 weeks old at the time of upload

All I want in life is that kind of creativity. With that kind of creativity and the right connections, you can go places.